And how would YOU fuck marry kill loki's sons? 👀

Ugh I just WOULDNT 😒 they’re so swagless they only occupy as much of my mind as they do because they’re so swagless and I know I could fix them and I want to fix them by making them more 1920s mobster caricatures, unfinished business deserved to be hosted at the Flamingo in Vegas- or any of those really old school casino hotels that were upstarted by mobsters! Or the Tropicana if they wanted to stick to the ruined hotel aesthetic, a mobster era hotel that they still cling to (as like, an ode to their desperation to stay relevant in a christ centric country since they’re fleeing from their home land) even though it’s crumbling and worthless. And they wouldn’t be dressed like that they wouldn’t look like British Lads or the best dressed at the trots, they would have authentic charm and clothes far more akin to that hot ass red suit Gabriel sports because being classy does not negate being fun with your clothes (looking at your Sleipnir). So with all of this in mind, now that I’ve filled you in on my delusions about them being cooler than they are,

fuck Fenrir because I think that would be freaky and weird and honestly I’m down only if the claws come out, marry Narfi because generally he seems to most normal and if I’m going to saddle myself permanently to one of these freaks it won’t be the one with the quiff and the anxious attachment style to his mommy, kill Sleipnir

In a pinch I could switch Narfi and Sleipnir though and we could have a beard marriage and we could be like those gay Christian tiktok couples who marry straight for the lord and try and flex that they’re cured of their homosexually by kissing each other on camera and it’s so weird and awkward but we would ride or die it insisting we were in love and sleep in different beds for our spine health and rarely have sex because sex should be for procreating only and we’re such good people because it’s so easy not to have sex with each other but he’s definitely taking it up the ass from his best friend when they go on their guys trips and I’ll lowkey have a thing for his sister which is why we can’t divorce- not because I love him but I’m scared I won’t see her again but it’s in a totally straight way for sure