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heartbreak-of-a-marauder · 4 years

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Perpetual Sensitivity (3)

Title: That’s Life

Pairing: Remus Lupin x OC

Summary: Things remain tense between Rosie and Remus as they try their best to work together, but hurt feelings are difficult to ignore, and they learn that sometimes it’s better to rant and rave than let it eat them up alive.

Words: 1,769

Note: Feelin’ more than a little angsty with this one, please enjoy! Links to the previous parts are below:

<- 3 ->

~*~*~*~*~

Present - Rosalia

Quietly I slipped into the duelling hall, but still managed to catch the attention of everyone’s favourite werewolf. Years of training allowed me to see how his demeanour turned cold momentarily as we made eye contact but as soon as his focus returned to the class of First Years in front of him, he resumed his usual warm demeanour. I couldn’t help but feel a little putout but, it was to be expected. Instead of making a fuss I walked around the mixed group of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw First Years and stood with Remus at the front of the room because whether he liked it or not, we were going to have to work together.

“Now I would like for you all to get into pairs as we will be practising the formalities of duelling and the body binding spell – Petrificus Totalus. Now don’t get your wants out yet, just say it nice a clearly… Petrificus Totalus” He spoke clearly in a commanding way that had all of the student’s mesmerized. 

“Petrificus Totalus” the class replied back in unison. 

“Well done” Remus praised, almost like he knew how much a little encouragement could go.

“One more time please,” he asked and their reply shortly followed. 

After that he allowed them to split off into their chosen pairs to practice the spell, many didn't master it and all their wands produce was a small whining noise that soon died out but never the less Remus continued to support them by giving them snippets of advice that could vastly improve their skill much like he had done for me during our Second Year at Hogwarts. For the lucky few that did manage to successfully produce the spell, I was left to help out their partner and answer any burning questions they had about today's lesson. After 30 minutes of the exercise, Remus called the room to attention to announce that they would be getting the chance to witness some of the spells they would learn throughout the year as well as proper duelling etiquette. 

“Miss Black, if you would be so kind as to accompany me to the platform…” Remus politely asked.

I was a little surprised by his request, not because of what he was asking me to do but because he addressed me directly – all be it without casting so much as a glance in my direction.

“Please gather around but keep a safe distance from the platform itself for your own safety.” The young children did as they were told.  

We faced each other in the middle of the platform and at this proximity, I could see how much the fifteen years had actually aged him. We brought their wands up to our faces before dropping them to our sides, bowing low as a sign of respect before walking five paces away from each other. In our Hogwarts days, Remus was the better dualist but after all of my training and experience as an Auror, we were more of an equal footing. We assumed the starting stances and waited in silence. The children watched, eyes wide, mouths open expecting nothing less than a fantastic show.  

“Petrificus Totalus!” I exclaimed, but just like in our childhood Remus was ready for the attack, and countered it with the spell ‘Protego’.

The dual continued, spells being shot back and forth, one after the other in a ceaseless flurry that made the watching students wonder if the pair were too equally matched. Both had vast experience in duelling from their schooling years as well as the First Wizarding War but surely one had to be better than the other. The minutes that flew past saw us both gain the upper hand but subsequently lose it, this continued for a while but sometimes one of us would be moments away from victory however the other would snatch it away allowing the duel to continue. The longer the battle the more tired Remus and I got, meaning we weren't as sharp in casting spells, countering attacks or defending ourselves.  

With slightly ragged breathing we looked at each other before I seized the opportunity.

“Expelliarmus!” I had expected to have the final say in our duel and finish it but Remus wouldn't give me that victory not with the mood he was in. He cast a defence spell before quickly following it with ‘Expelliarmus’ too. hadn't expected the follow-up attack and was surprised to feel my wand leave my hand. 

The room erupted into applause. We bowed once more and as I made a mental note to never underestimate Remus Lupin again. He went on to talk about how etiquette should always be upheld in any duel as a sign of respect - even if they didn't like their opponent. Smiling to myself I couldn't help think that even though what he was saying was true, it may be slightly aimed at me…Maybe. Then again it might not. The only person that would know is Remus Lupin himself. 

Once Remus had finished his speech, he gave the first years homework then dismissed them leaving us alone. I watched his back as he walked to the door to leave.  

“You always were a great teacher” I offered in a bid to get him to stop, however, he never missed a beat and continued away from me, I had to widen my steps in order to catch up with his retreating form. It may have looked a little odd to anyone watching, our pace was so fast someone may have thought that we were running away. I struggled at first to keep the same pace as Remus, his longer legs giving him the advantage, once I'd fallen into step alongside him, I tried again to strike a conversation. 

"What topic is tomorrows lesson with the third years going to be?" Although the question was innocent it still earned a quick scowl and was met by silence. 

I sighed through my nose before carrying on "I understand that nocturnal beasts won't be started for weeks so that leaves things like Boggarts, Red Caps, Hinkypunks and Salaman-"  

"What I teach is to be no concern of you Miss Black" he spoke calmly but the indignant way he said my name had me thinking something different. 

"No concern?" I replied, slightly baffled. 

"Precisely" 

I was quiet as we walked the remainder of the corridor and crossed the threshold of the classroom, once the door had closed, I spoke again copying Lupin's indignant tone.  

"Actually Mr Lupin I think you'll find that I am here to assist in the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts, so it is my concern too"  

"I am not going to be in need of your help" 

"I think you find you are, which was one of the reasons why Dumbledore recruited me"

Remus didn’t reply and went about his business setting out textbooks ready for his next lesson. 

"If it was anyone else you wouldn’t mind working with them... would you?" I questioned after a while. 

Showing me his back, he stopped what he was doing allowing me to walk around the room until there was just a desk between us. He studied the cover of the books he was currently holding like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. 

"Remus say something please"  

"Your sudden reappearance opens up a lot of questions but I have nothing to say to you" he replied with the same calm tone as before. 

"Look, there's no need for any sort of friendship or anything but you need to talk to me" I reached out and touched his arm, the worn fabric of his cardigan felt rough under my fingertips and I could feel the heat he was emitting but soon after all I could feel was the coolness of the air, he had moved away at such an impressive speed you could've sworn that I’d burned him. Crossing my arms over my chest I continued to look at him, his gaze still trained on the hardwood floor. 

"Fifteen years..." His whispered barely audible. 

"Pardon?" I replied in a similarly soft tone. 

"Fifteen Years," Remus repeated clearly, his head lifted and he locked eyes with mine. I opened my mouth to speak but Remus beat me to it. 

"For fifteen years you let me believe that you were dead. Fifteen years I have been alone while you've been off gallivanting, but that’s just typical of you, isn't it! You never were one to care for the feelings of others though were you?-" He tried his best to keep himself composed but with every passing syllable I knew he was losing his grip.  

"Remus that’s not fa-" 

"Life is not fair!" His voice was raised slightly, not enough for others to hear but loud enough that I flinched. 

"That’s your response to everything! Always was, always will be" I replied in the same way, beginning to feel equally upset. 

"Because it's true!" He slammed the remaining textbooks onto the nearest desk. 

"No!" I shouted "You think that everything is unfair simply because of your blasted condition" 

"And there is nothing I can do to change that! But you one the other hand, you could've reached out! It takes mere moments to send a message"  

"I... Remus, it's..." I tried desperately to quickly form an argument against him but came up with nothing 

"That's all I needed, one message, something that let me know that you were alive, for God's sake is that too much to ask?!" He was right, it would've taken only a moment, but that could've compromised everyone's safety. 

"Remus you wouldn't understand,"  I said exasperated. 

"Why? Because of my condition," He seethed.

"Keep your voice down! That’s not what I meant and you know that" 

"How am I supposed to know anything when you won’t tell me!"  

I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a harsh huff of air, it was no good shouting at each other and if we carried on we would undoubtedly get louder and continue on in circles, there would be no way to explain the reasons why when we were both in a mood. It would only lead to more frustration. Casting him one last look I turned on my heel and left him standing in the middle of the classroom.

As I left part of me hoped that he would follow and try to stop me but he didn’t. So, I continued on my way back to my rooms. My strides long and fast, my expression like thunder; matching my mood. 

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