#coming back from the dead for dec 10th
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Dec 10th: Never Forgot My First Kiss
Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles
prompt: First kiss/First time | AO3: link | wc: 853 | rating: M | cw: trans individual and partner discuss younger self with created dead name | tags: FTM Eddie Munson, 7 minutes in heaven, pre series first kiss - post series smut and cuddles, pillow talk
Summary: Reminiscing on first kisses after another first between Steve, Eddie, and their bedsheets
For the smut before this ficlet, check out my submission for today's Steddiemas prompt here
(づ￣ ³￣)づ
“It couldn't have been more awkward.”
“What? No. I thought my seven minutes in heaven with Elsie May Munson was one for the record books.”
“Maybe. The page on firsts and failures,” Eddie scoffed.
Steve rolled his eyes. “You were the one who couldn't relax. The second that bottle spun to you you sat up as stiff as a board.”
“I was still in shock that I'd been invited to Alexis's birthday at all! Lil ‘ol trailer trash me.”
“No one thought of you like that.” Steve huffed and brought Eddie in closer to his chest. It was warm under the covers with him. Safe. “You were just really quiet. A little timid.”
“Hah, yeah. Jeez. Blossomed right out of that.”
MATURE Continues after the cut
“Big time.” Steve blushed and twisted one of Eddie’s curls, a small smile on his lips. “If it makes it better for your ‘origin story,’ I'm pretty sure Alexis's mom invited everyone in the 5th grade. So it doesn’t necessarily prove she thought about your eleven year old reputation.”
“Oh thanks,” Eddie replied, sticking his tongue out.
“Anything for you babe.”
Eddie considered letting it drop, but teasing Steve was one of his favorite pastimes. “Still doesn't explain your fish lips in that closet. 7 minutes of mediocrity at best.”
“Hey! It was my first kiss.”
“Mine too!”
Eddie looked into Steve’s smiling eyes as their fake affronted expressions shifted into laughter at one another.
When the laughter eased, Steve traced Eddie’s collarbone with his finger tip. His voice was soft and low. “Y'know, I always knew. When Elsie moved back with her dad and then two years later her 'cousin,' Eddie, came to live permanently with his uncle.”
“Here I thought I had everyone fooled,” Eddie said, shifting lightly. It didn’t make him too uncomfortable to talk about the little person he’d been, at least not with Steve. “Loud, obnoxious Eddie? Literally everything Elsie wasn't. She was always looking for permission, whereas I ask for forgiveness.”
Steve glanced away. “I liked both.” Eddie raised an eyebrow and poked Steve in the cheek till he continued. Steve sighed, “Elsie always had her head in a book. The covers looked so exciting, but you know me and reading.” Eddie gave a small nod. “And that pretty, curly, dark hair always pushed back from her face.”
“Jesus Christ, I almost forgot the headbands.” Eddie chuckled and shook his head.
Steve’s hand wandered up to Eddie’s chin, his fingers rested along Eddie’s jaw. Steve’s gaze had grown heavy. “Never forgot my first kiss Eddie. Or that little scar right under your chin, or the shade of brown your eyes are. Just like chocolate.”
Eddie squirmed a little under the weight of Steve’s affection. Sometimes it was hard to be under that spotlight, even if it was just the two of them, holed up in Steve’s bedroom. “What took you so long to come after me then?”
Steve’s lips twisted a bit. “I was under the impression you didn't want to be found. Especially by me.”
“Yeah, I guess that's true.” Eddie's hand wandered over Steve's skin, still mostly under the covers, protected from the much chillier air around them. “Glad we cleared that up. Are you um… are you glad my first with a guy was you?”
Steve snorted. “I could say the same damn thing.”
“You know what I mean,” Eddie let his hand wander down and brushed the tip of Steve's cock. He adored the flash of surprise and want it created on Steve’s face.
Steve brought Eddie’s mischievous hand over his heart. “First kiss I'll treasure always. But first fucks?” He shrugged. “That can get a little slut shame-y, I guess?”
“Oh! Here's where that Harrington charm runs out,” Eddie laughed. He quickly turned his smile to a pout, batting his eyelashes. “Not the virginity thing or whatever it's supposed to mean, bases or notches. What I really meant to say was this first for ‘us.’ Like this, are you…” Eddie paused; he didn't feel like asking for reassurance, but it was what he wanted to hear. Luckily, that seemed to click for Steve.
“Eds!” Steve's eyes widened, and he ran a hand through Eddie's hair. “Yes, gorgeous. This was everything I… Eddie I already want you just, all the damn time. This was so good, you're fucking perfect.”
“Yeah?” Eddie smiled shyly. “Perfect? I thought I was the devil.”
“You are a devil.” Steve's face scrunched up with concern. “I thought you liked when I, wait. Are you messing with me?”
“No.” Their legs slotted together. Eddie pressed his cock against Steve's thigh, already wet. “Maybe a little.”
Steve snaked one arm around Eddie’s waist, holding him in place and began to tickle Eddie. He brushed the light stubble on his chin against Eddie's chest as Eddie struggled to get his hands to tickle Steve’s stomach. They eventually stopped for breath, and Steve relaxed into Eddie’s hold this time, nuzzling along Eddie's neck. “What if I said I wanted you to be my last first,” he whispered. It sounded like a secret. As if Eddie didn't feel the exact same way.
2023 RedLegumes Steddiemas 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 SteddieHolidayDrabbles 1 2 3 4 6 8 9 10
And...
they're not even dating!
JUST KIDDING
One hundred percent, Eddie's been parading around his sweetheart, acting like he converted Steve to every dark side for months.
#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddieholidaydrabbles#first kiss#first time#i write things#ftm eddie munson#trans#trans masc eddie munson#post smut#but still a lil smutty#7 minutes in heaven
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Fuuto Asahina Game Guide PS Vita
This is for anyone who just needs to know about Fuuto's character things he likes, dislikes, what will get you dates etc. Hope it helps.
Gifts He Likes
Bath salt spa gift card
Reed diffuser
Magazine ***
Fruity candy
Planner
Gifts He Hates
Incents
Massage
Tea set
Hand towel
Novel
Inexpensive figurine
Stationary set
Comic book
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Movies He Likes
honey potter
the notepad
stage play
no missed call
romance holiday
8
Movies He Hates
martial arts
j pop concert
musical
artic a year on ice
dusk of the dead
slime dunk
go to the future
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Days I Took Dates
These dates might shift not sure but this is based on every day it let me go on dates when I didn't decide to do sleepovers. Eventually you will have done all dates that matter and you will be full of hearts after that not sure it matters if you keep going on dates when most after that is just cut scene dates in between in you week itself. I didn't try out the theory because I didn't want to have to start over just in case.
Sept 5th, 19th, 20th,26th
Oct 3rd,17th, 31st
Nov 3rd, 14th, 23rd, 28th
Dec 5th, 12th, 23rd, 26th
Jan 2nd, 10th, 23rd
Feb 6th, 11th , 13th, 27th
March 13th,20th, 21st
April 3rd, 17th, 29th
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Observations I Noticed
He doesn't like petting animals however at one point a puppy makes him giggle but he still complains about it.
Anything with large crowds so some days like weekends the amusement part or aquarium might be packed a little more than he would like. Because he is a star its hard for him to enjoy himself with you if there is a huge crowd bugging you two
He loves going to the movies and romantic movies is his go to.
He Hates Anime Movies
He likes the ferris wheel because its up high away from people
No to parades and boat rides from the amusement park
I only found he liked going to the part on 10/17 however there might have been once or twice other than that but its a hit or miss usually miss with him due to a large amount of people which it goes back to large crowds a no.
He does like the aquarium it was where he held my hand the first time however only on not busy days
He likes to shop but if it comes to buying you something if you ask for it he isn't happy however if he offers and you are grateful is best
He hates kids
He wants to be a actor more than just a idol
loves movies and watching some of his favorite actors
Not a morning person
Has low blood pressure
Loves pop music
Loves sweet stuff
He loves to eat
Hates bowling
Hates karoke
Loves the cafe mainly for food
Loves archery
Not big on strong family connections so you don't have to spend much time with family to romance him
Hates Chores
Hates Studying
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Not sure what is interchangeable and what isn't. This was a trial and error but I did write down everything I did along the way. I spent most of my days chatting, watching, movies, and hanging out. On days it let me go on dates or sleepover I alternated. You only have to buy and bring gifts up until all the hearts are maxed. Also one other thing I never went on a date or hung out with anyone else with him just him, my work, shopping for gifts, and my gaming. Every brother is different this just happens to be Fuuto's and if you have any questions feel free to ask. Also I played with the english patch.
#otome#gaming#fuuto asahina#brothers conflict#walkthrough#brothers conflict walkthrough#ps vita#playstation vita#english patch
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Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.
• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.
⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️
⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️
• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.
⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️
😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡
Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓
My GTA V Online “Arena Wars”: My sixth RC Bandito Time Trial [Dec 14th, 2022]
Hello, and welcome back to my GTA V Online Arena Wars! 💥🔫🚗
And today, I’m attempting my sixth time RC Bandito Time Trial. 🙂🕹️🛻⏱️
If you havenn’t seen my fifth attempt, then please [CLICK ME!].😉
As well as other related RC Bandito posts. ↓
○ My first RC Bandito Time Trial [Nov 17th, 2022]
○ RC Bandito Review [Nov 17th, 2022]
○ My second RC Bandito Time Trial [Nov 21st, 2022]
○ My third RC Bandito Time Trial [Nov 24th, 2022]
○ My fourth RC Bandito Time Trial [Dec 9th, 2022]
• For this week's RC Time Trial, I'm now at the "La Fuente Blanca" between Vinewood Hills & Senora Road (LS, modern SA). Hmmm... Good thing there are no animal horses around this venue during night day in online free roam mode. In fact, there are no animals at all in GTA V online. However, if you want to ride a steed, then play Red Dead Online (although, it's already dead itself). Did you know, that this company was owned by Martin Madrazo? I'm sure you all know that in "Story Mode", but I digress. Nonetheless, enjoy the rest of my video. 🙂
BTW: Rockstar already released another brand new DLC update,💉 "Los Santos Drug Wars"💊. They gave us new features (that we're some quite useless), new missions to play, new stories that I wouldn't try to keep on, and my favorite? Brand new vehicles to play, particularly "Cars". Six new cars have already been released, with nine drift feeds will be coming in the next few weeks usually every week (one of which will be rewarded after doing the "Heist Challenge Award", but I'll release anyway.), but not anymore (I guess). But, that's fine, we'll have to wait. Known about it? Then please click these → [CLICK ME! #1], [CLICK ME! #2]
Well, that’s all for now. And If you want to see my previous car prize, and more, then I’ll provide some links down below.↓
My GTA V Online: Winning ‘Prize Cars’ from the Lucky Wheel:
• GTA V Online - My 1st prize car: Overflod Tyrant [Feb 24, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 2nd prize car: Vapid FMJ [Mar 2,2021]
• GTA V Online - My 3rd prize car: HVY Nightshark [Mar 17, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 4th prize car: Grotti Itali RSX [Apr 5,2021]
• GTA V Online - My 5th prize car: Annis RE-7B [Apr 24, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 6th prize car: Ubermacht Revolter [May 3rd, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 7th prize car: Declasse Drift Yosemite [May 16th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 8th prize car: Overflod Entity XXR [Jun 9th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 9th prize car: Enus Windsor Drop [Jun 26th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 10th prize car: Vapid Retinue Mk II [Jul 12th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 11th prize car: Lampadati Michelli GT [Aug 18th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 12th prize car: Dinka Veto Modern [Aug 21st, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 13th prize car: Vapid GB200 [Aug 28th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 14th prize car: Dundreary Landstalker XL [Sept 4th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 15th prize car: Truffade Adder [Sept 15th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 16th prize car: Principe Lectro [Sept 21st, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 17 prize car: Nagasaki Outlaw [Sept 27th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 18th prize car: Ubermacht Rebla GTS [Oct 2nd, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 19th prize car: Pegassi Zorrusso [Nov 21st, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 20th prize car: Grotti Visione [Nov 27th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 21st prize car: Pfister Growler [Dec 18th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 22nd prize car: Declasse Mamba [Dec 27th, 2021]
• GTA V Online - My 23rd prize car: Progen T20 [Jan 31st, 2022]
• GTA V Online - My 24th prize car: BF Club [Feb 15th, 2022]
• GTA V Online - My 25th prize car: Ubermacht Zion Classi [Mar 13th, 2022]
• GTA V Online - My 26th prize car: Annis Savestra [Apr 13th, 2022]
• GTA V Online - My 27th prize car: Overflod Entity XF [Jun 14th, 2022]
• GTA V Online - My 28th prize car: Enus Paragon R [Sept 1st, 2022]
• GTA V Online - My 29th prize car: Pegassi Tempesta [Sept 16th, 2022]
• GTA V Online - My 30th prize car: Coil Cycle [Sept 24th, 2022]
•GTA V Online - My 31st prize car: Truffade Thrax [Oct 24th, 2022]
–
My GTA V Online Video: Halloween Week 2021:
• Halloween Week - Part 1 (Oct 28, 2021)
• Halloween Week - Part 2 (Oct 29, 2021)
• Halloween Week - Part 3 (Oct 30, 2021)
• Halloween Week - Part 4 (Nov 1, 2021)
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My GTA V Online Throwback Screenshots/Snapshots:
• Nov. 2 & 3, 2020
• Dec 24, 2020
• Jan 16, 2021
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My GTA V Online Video: Los Santos Tuners (2021):
• Part 1 (Recorded: Jul 21, 2021)
• Part 2 (Recorded: Jul 21, 2021)
• Vapid Clique w/ “Cliquemas Clique” Livery Review - Part 1 [Dec 28, 2021]
• Vapid Clique w/ “Cliquemas Clique” Livery Review - Part 2 (Final) [Dec 28, 2021]
• Ocelot Ardent w/ “Deck the Halls” Livery Review [Jan 4, 2022]
• Albany Roosevelt (Valentine’s Day Special) Review [Feb 13, 2022]
• Truffade Nero Review [Feb 28, 2022] (Recorded: Feb 22, 2022)
• Dewbauchee Rapid GT Classic Review [Mar 3, 2022]
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My GTA V Online - My after Lucky Wheel Review:
• Vapid FMJ Custom Review [Mar 2, 2022]
• HVY Nightshark Review [Mar 17, 2022]
• Overflod Tyrant Review [Mar 24, 2022]
• Grotti Itali RSX Review [Apr 3, 2022]
• Annis RE-7B Review [Apr 30, 2022]
• Ubermacht Revolter [May 3, 2022]
• Declasse Drift Yosemite [May 16th, 2022]
• Overflod Entity XXR [Jun 9th, 2022]
• Enus Windsor Drop [Jun 26th, 2022]
• Lampadati Michelli GT [Aug 18th, 2022]
• Dinka Veto Modern [Aug 21st, 2022]
• Vapid GB200 [Aug 28th, 2022]
• Dundreary Landstalker XL [Sept 4th, 2022]
• Truffade Adder [Sept 16th, 2022]
• Principe Lectro [Sept 21st, 2022]
• Nagasaki Outlaw [Sept 27th, 2022]
• Ubermacht Rebla GTS [Oct 2nd, 2022]
• Pegassi Zorrusso [Nov 21st, 2022]
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My GTA V Online: Festivity Holidays (2021):
• Christmas Eve Today Selfies: Part 1 [Dec 24, 2021]
• Christmas Eve Today Selfies: Part 2 [Dec 24, 2021]
• Snowball weapon demonstration & Christmas music Easter Egg [Dec 27, 2021]
• Vapid Clique w/ “Cliquemas Clique” Livery Drive Test [Dec 28, 2021]
• More Christmas Snapmatic Snapshots [Dec 29, 2021]
• EVEN MORE Christmas Snapmatic Snapshots [Dec 30, 2021]
• My Final Christmas Snapshots [Jan 5, 2022]
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My GTA V Online Random Snapshot/Screenshot/Video:
• Shooting Range at my Bunker [Oct 7, 2021]
• My Oppressor Mk II is floating [Jul 9, 2022]
• Open Wheel Race Off Course Bug [Jul 23, 2022]
• Trapped at the Prize Ride (after updating new DLC) [Jul 27, 2022]
• The Criminal Enterprises update: Luxury Autos & Simeon’s Premium Deluxe Motorsport “Sprunk Edition” [Sept 6, 2022]
• The Criminal Enterprises update: Luxury Autos & Simeon’s Premium Deluxe Motorsport “eCola Edition” [Sept 12, 2022]
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GTA V Online - Halloween 2022:
• Collecting Halloween Jack O’ Lanterns - Part 1 [Oct 17, 2022]
• Collecting Halloween Jack O’ Lanterns - Part 2 [Oct 17, 2022]
• Snaping UFO Sightings - Part 1 [Oct 29, 2022]
• Snaping UFO Sightings - Part 2 (Final) [Oct 30, 2022]
• Collecting Halloween Jack O’ Lanterns - Part 3 (Peyote Hallucination) [Recorded: Oct 18, 2022]
• Collecting Halloween Jack O’ Lanterns - Part 4 (Peyote Hallucination) [Recorded: Oct 18, 2022]
• Collecting Halloween Jack O’ Lantern Pumpkins [200 Pumpkins] - Part 5 (Final) [Recorded: Oct 18, 2022]
• Halloween UFO Sightings - Abduction (Final Plus) [Oct 30 - 31, 2022]
• Late Halloween 2022 - Sasquatch little playthrough [Nov 3, 2022]
–
GTA V Online - Arena Wars:
• Arena Workshop - Cutscene & Inside Tour [Nov 17th, 2022]
• My first RC Bandito Time Trial [Nov 17th, 2022]
• RC Bandito Review [Nov 17th, 2022]
• My second RC Bandito Time Trial [Nov 21, 2022]
• My third RC Bandito Time Trial [Nov 24th, 2022]
• My fourth RC Bandito Time Trial [Dec 5th, 2022]
• My fifth RC Bandito Time Trial [Dec 9th, 2022]
Tagged: @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant
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(Wed) March 3rd, 1943 – Part 2 of 2 “A Brutal Accident In The Fog Of War” In the middle of nowhere, 985 miles due west of the Canary Islands, a horrifying act of friendly-fire occurs. The German freighter “SS Doggerbank” has quite a journey thus far. A British tanker named “Speybank,” she’s captured in the Indian Ocean in January 1941. Sailed to France, she’s converted to a mine-layer, and a year later, sent back to the Indian Ocean. Hiding in plain sight, she heads south, lying her way past not one but two inquisitive British warships. Laying mines off South Africa in spring of 1942, she then beelines across the Indian Ocean, darting to the safety of Japan. She sails from Yokohama on Dec. 17th, stopping at Japanese-held ports along the way. Her final departure is from Jakarta on Feb. 10th, and then she’s in the open sea of the Indian Ocean once again. In her holds are 7000 tons of rubber, fats, fish oils… and 257 German sailors. The surface raider “Thor,” and the tanker “Altmark” had accidentally blown up in Japanese waters on Nov. 30, 1942. Now, the survivors join Doggerbank’s 108 crew on the voyage home. All told, 365 souls men are aboard. She survives the trip west, sneaks around South Africa, and runs for it home. Safety and home get closer with each day. She will not see either – as a terrible act of fratricide unfolds. Doggerbank is running ahead of schedule, and is further north than she should be. In the darkness, U-43, a Type IX, spots what she perceives to be a large British steamer. Instead, all three of her torpedoes rip into Doggerbank. She is gone in two minutes, taking hundreds of men with her. There’s no distress call. No help is coming. The survivors drift for days. One at a time, they will die agonizing deaths. Starvation… dehydration… suicide…. death by drinking seawater. It is the stuff of nightmares. Finally, a lifeboat is found by a Spanish ship on March 29th, nearly 4 weeks later. One dead body… and one barely living man are onboard it. There is ONE SURVIVOR of Doggerbank. 364 German sailors die by friendly fire in the Fog Of War, or die in the open sea. Just Another Day... (at Fort Hancock, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpWRxtqtj8A/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Hell naw.
wow It’s been so long. Lol, im glad i could document some of my life incidences here or at least tried to.
Anyway, fuck that. I’m so fucked in the head.
Long story short, Krish and I broke up. Its been 6 months or so. i feel weird you know? Sort of guilty because
1. It takes me SO MUCH time to move on. Maybe it did because ive known he’s gonna go since 2021 Nov. So yeah it’s been more than a year and i had to enough time to prepare myself, also i we were having problems and our relationship was pretty much dead so i guess it makes sense.
2. I did cry alot, felt low and everything else. Maybe i have changed? i think im comparing myself when i was in 10th grade or in my gap year. But i guess, during that time i didnt want to move on, i didnt keep myself first. All i thought about that i love them, i missed them, i never thought about what’s right for me and this time i did.
Dec 2022 was a crazy month for me. Being single is so hard, yes but nobody talks about the amount of attention you get from different men which makes things so hard. I really couldn’t keep up, it fried my brain fr.
I tried to go on dates, mostly it was a one time thing. Then i tried getting physical with this guy who i went out with thrice but LMAO i couldn’t. I literally said no to him for kissing me, holding my hand, cuddling and everything you could think then i went to sleep.
Then i finally went out with this guy who i already knew and who was cute AND i knew i would be comfortable with him physically, and it happened damn i had a G time hehe then he left to Germany. Then i met more guys here and there then i went to this house party and slept with this guy WHO WAS SO HORRIBLE ARGH YUCK YUCK JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME VOMIT AND SO PISSED. ill come back to that later jesus.
Fast forward: in the next post.
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Hope everyone is partying (by yourself, spiritually, or with people, all are totally fine) well into the Christmas weekend! I am back with even more recs (I’ll prolly give it a rest at the 10th one sorry for the spam guys)! This one I just finished a few days ago, because CHINA BOOKSTORE PUBLISHED THIS ON CHRISTMAS WITH MANY GOODIES!! And I was like oh cute long-hair dude, let me read this.
Anyway this is a fengshui + supernatural + body-switching type of novel, with a heavy focus on fengshui! I don’t know if everyone knows what fengshui is (I will prolly do a list for Chinese New Year) and I am no expert, but it’s basically like Chinese geomancy where you can calculate a person’s fate, wealth, marriage suitability etc. with things in an individual’s environment.
So a lot of Chinese people, for example businessmen when they have new offices or when couples renovate their homes, they may get a feng shui master to arrange furniture and add crystals or talismans or whatever to increase wealth/prosperity/happiness or harmonize bad energy etc., just an example. When you want to check the compatibility of yourself and your SO, some people do go to the fengshui master and calculate their 八字 (day, hour, time they were born + other things) to see when is an auspicious day to marry etc.
My ex-editor really believes in feng shui masters because hers really predicted a year that her husband got into hugeee trouble like almost to the day itself apparently. And she always wear an accessory with a snake on it because the master said
Written by the same author (Xi Zi Xu) who wrote Kaleidoscope of Death!
- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -
Summary:
This book is set in the normal, regular, law-abiding modern city world where fengshui is heavily believed in, and skilled masters can see spirits, bad energies. Where dogs can be reincarnated as humans, and there are demonic pets that humans can keep, and paper dolls can come to life basically.
Zhou Jia Yu is a government office worker who dies in a car accident one day, and wakes up in the body of another Zhou Jia Yu - a handsome man whose name is the same as his. He’s brought back by this spirit bird in his head called Ji Ba (pun not intended), who says that Zhou Jia Yu is fated to save Lin Zhu Shui, the young, blind fengshui master who has caught him.
Unfortunately, this second Zhou Jia Yu is a con-artist who has cheated the money of several families via fraudulent fengshui schemes, and his scams have led to the death of several children in the process. Legendary fengshui master Lin Zhu Shui and his disciples have caught/imprisoned this Zhou Jia Yu, not knowing that original conman Zhou Jia Yu has died (and therefore his soul is gone), leaving good citizen Zhou Jia Yu in the body of a conman.
Lin Zhu Shui intends to kill conman Zhou Jia Yu (not really kill, kill but probably will do something to his soul, considering there are laws against murder you know) when good citizen Zhou Jia Yu wakes up in this body, but because he has come back from the dead, his body and soul is considered an extremely yin (cold) body, which allows him to attract more bad spirits and energy, giving him an extraordinary, gifted ability to excel in the fengshui line. Of course, being the master that he is, Lin Zhu Shui also realizes that this Zhou Jia Yu (and his soul, in particular) is not the one he caught, and as he has an extremely yang (hot) body, the both of them are compatible with each other. Lin Zhuo Shui realizes that he can train Zho Jia Yu and then takes him on as his disciple.
Cue Zhou Jia Yu being tossed into a dangerous fengshui competition as he figures out just what Ji Ba wants him to do about Lin Zhu Shui. In the meanwhile, he falls in love with amazingly handsome, cool and aloof Lin Zhu Shui (who threatens to murder him if he doesn’t come out first in the competition), who keeps him warm when he gets unbearably cold due to his body condition. They also have to deal with an evil person working behind the scenes, and how Zhou Jia Yu eventually returns back into his own body at the end.
Read:
Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Dec 2020 Print | Novel Translations
Characters:
1. 周嘉鱼 Zhou Jia Yu (third from right) - A really cute government office worker whose soul was pulled into a conman’s body, who has the same name as he, when he got into a car accident. Has an extremely yin (cold) body which attracts spirits (good and bad), and allows him to see, smell or hear them more clearly than everyone else except for Lin Zhu Shui. He cooks extremely well too and is considered a treasure in the household by Lin Zhu Shui’s other disciples because none of them can cook for shit. They don’t initially know that this Zhou Jia Yu is not conman Zhou Jia Yu, although they suspect it, and once they fall in love with his cooking no one doubts him anymore HAHAHA.
He gets a feng shui tattoo personally done by Lin Zhu Shui who already knows that his soul was switched, a tattoo which is supposed to help him in feng shui matters. Gets a paper doll son halfway through the story, who he calls Xiao Zhi (little paper), which calls him Dad (and calls Lin Zhu Shui Big Dad - da baba) ;-; It’s the cutest shit ever.
There’s a mystical creature in the back of his head that speaks to him and helps him out on certain feng shui things, and helps him to explain what he’s seeing, but aside from telling Jia Yu that he’s supposed to save Lin Zhu Shui, the mystical bird thing is unable to tell him anything else. Within a few weeks of him waking up in this body, he’s sent by Lin Zhu Shui on an international feng shui competition without having any sort of basic knowledge, only innate talent, much to his panic XD As Lin Zhu Shui continues to protect him, teach him and tease/smile at him, Jia Yu, who is certified gay af, falls totally in love with the seemingly aloof and strict feng shui master.
They probably would have continued like this if not for Jia Yu’s body deteriorating because his body is technically not his and not compatible with his soul, and Lin Zhu Shui tries to find a way to save him, after seeing the future where Jia Yu’s body is rotting as he dies slowly over months and begging Lin Zhu Shui to kill him and let him die.
2. 林逐水 Lin Zhu Shui (third from left, right next to Jia Yu) - Long-haired, wears changshan perpetually and is blind, but can see more clearly than most people. He knows where everyone’s positions are exactly, and can see spirits etc. very well despite being blind. Considered a genius of the feng shui world and is the patriarch of one of the big feng shui families in the world - the Lin family. He’s a master at drawing talismans, carving crystals/gems and feng shui tattooing.
He’s so well-known that everyone wants to be his disciple, everyone wants to get a talisman/crystal/tattoo from him, everyone wants him to come and look at their houses, but he can’t be bothered with most people. He’s also super handsome? So a lot of girls (and guys) are always drooling over him.
He has an extremely yang (hot) body, which is supposed to naturally help to repel spirits and what not, but because of this he suffers a lot in the summer. His body condition is very rare and when he was younger, others said he would not live past 18 years old, and his parents gave up their lives to change his fate so he would survive. The feng shui master also predicted that Lin Zhu Shui would experience another calamity when he was 30 (thereabout), and that year, thankfully he has Jia Yu as his entire house caught on fire in the summer while he was in it (and cooling talismans and the house item placements meant to keep the house entirely cool in the summer were no longer working). Jia Yu helped him to cool down with his incredibly yin body.
Knows right off the bat that this is a different Jia Yu, and starts teaching him as one of his disciples. Can only eat the food hat Jia Yu cooks because his yin qualities transfer to the food he cooks as well, and Lin Zhu Shui usually cannot eat anything else that’s cooked outside. Gives Jia Yu a carved jade pendant he made himself that’s apparently worth thousands of dollars to keep him safe, and is a dumbass when it comes to confessing to Jia Yu hahahaha (although he’s successful at the end!)
3. 沈一穷 Shen Yi Qiong (second from right, dark skin tone) - Lin Zhu Shui’s youngest disciple and also Jia Yu’s best friend, technically. Brash but smart, and is always thirsting openly after his shifu Lin Zhu Shui, it’s hilarious! He’s a little jealous in the beginning because his shifu is showering Jia Yu with so much attention when he’s only been around for a week etc., but quickly gets used to it and supports Jia Yu. Jia Yu always makes fun of his tanned skin, then makes fun of his singlehood HAHA, while Shen Yi Qiong provides emotional support to Jia Yu, and by emotional support I mean when Jia Yu asks him what will happen to him if he loses the feng shui competition, Shen Yi Qiong pats him on the shoulder and asks him to choose a vase/pot pattern (like a ceramic pot where you put cremated ashes) = shifu will kill him if he loses the competition, so gets Jia Yu to choose a pot he likes so Shen Yi Qiong can help him put his ashes in HAHAHAHA. He is the last one to find a significant other, but the one he finds is like a legendary mystical creature who half deceives him into promising to marry him and then keeps chasing after Shen Yi Qiong so he can marry him XD
4. 林珏 Lin Jue (first from left) - Lin Zhu Shui’s cousin but technically his older sister because she brought him up after his parents died. Spends most of the novel being sad about her past lover who died because of an illness, and is wooed a few years later by a legendary golden dragon.
5. 小纸 Xiao Zhi (that little cute white thing on top of Jia Yu’s head) - A paper doll who’s given to Jia Yu after he helps out at the paper doll village/tribe, and grows up with Jia Yu and Lin Zhu Shui taking care of him. Is the cutest little shit ever, can speak, and calls Jia Yu ‘baba’ and Lin Zhu Shui ‘da baba’ i.e. dad and big dad. Very strong, and can protect Jia Yu very well.
Other Things I Like in the Novel:
Jia Yu basically goes to the feng shui competition and destroys everyone else because he’s just gifted in this aspect - When he wakes up, and in the days leading up to the competition, he doesn’t have a cellphone (Lin Zhu Shui and his disciples live in a remote part of town, a traditional-type house, one with nature) and after he wins the competition, other people want his phone number to contact him and he’s too embarrassed to say that he’s basically too poor to have a phone after rising from the dead, so he bluffs everyone and says “My shifu says that handphone signals and radiation will interfere with advanced feng shui readings so I don’t have one” and LITERALLY half of the feng shui training population gets rid of their phones on that day, gullible af
Everytime Jia Yu runs cold, he has to drink some of Lin Zhu Shui’s blood mixed with water/milk, and the man’s yang blood warms him up immediately
Jia Yu has to deal with four of Lin Zhu Shui’s disciples, all who are really suspicious of him because they think he’s the conman, and Jia Yu doesn’t realize they already know it’s not him until they defend him in front of other people, and he’s so touched
Shen Yi Qiong gets his marriage fortune told during one of the cases by accident. He asks when he’ll get married, and the thing replies “Seven Three” AND HE’S SO DEPRESSED BECAUSE he thinks that it means he’ll only get married when he’s 73. It’s a source of jokes between him, his other shixiongs and Jia Yu, but then towards the end he realizes what it means - His supposed match, a legendary mystical male weasel who’s 73 years old XD
Jia Yu keeps thirsting after Lin Zhu Shui, fully aware that he’s very gay himself, and he’s confessed to while he’s stuck in the haze of a high fever, so he thinks it’s a dream. Lin Zhu Shui doesn’t realize he forgot/thinks it’s a dream and is pissed that he’s rejected HAHAHA and then Lin Jue reminds him to not be a dumbass and confess properly, and so he does so again in an empty amusement park, after summoning evil spirits so they can fly in the air and make a heart shape just for Jia Yu while they’re on the ferris wheel XDDDD
#danmei#danmei recs#我五行缺你#my five elements lack you#my five elements is short of you#西子绪#xi zi xu#min's why you should read
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On the 10th day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee…
Dec 22 - Metalocalypse but it's a cheesy Hallmark holiday movie
He’s a big city notary, only in town to clean out his deceased grandparents’ condo.
He’s a small-town metalhead pot dealer/part time taxi service with no one to hang out with for the holidays.
Is it fate, or is it Christmas?
Chapter one of a Murderface/Pickles, what-if-Dethklok-never-happened AU. I went heavy on Pickles' accent for this and I refuse to apologize for my crimes.
~
Deck The Halls With Ughs & F*ck Yous
When you boiled it down to the bare essentials, the first half of the letter basically said, “Merry Christmas, your grandparents are dead.”
Which, William felt, was kind of nice of the lawyer writing to him. He hadn’t liked his grandparents particularly much, for all that they’d raised him ever since the unfortunate murder-suicide that had claimed his parents. Everything he’d accomplished in life had been in spite of them. They’d wanted him to be a hubcap salesman like his grandfather; he’d gotten his notary license and done just fine. They’d wanted him to stay in the same kind of podunk towns they always lived in; he’d gone to the big city and landed a steady career notarizing deeds and titles for a huge real estate company. All they’d done was yell at him to make sure was still alive for seventeen years. Anyone could have done that.
It was the second half of the letter that was the problem. Apparently they’d had no money to leave him, just all the crap in a condo that needed to be emptied out by the end of the year so the next owners could move in. If he didn’t, there would be a ridiculously large fine due of some truly idiotic wording in the lease they’d signed.
A quick check online told him it would be cheaper to just fly out to this . . . Tomahawk, Wisconsin, throw all the shit in a dumpster, and be done with it. He had a couple weeks of vacation time coming up anyway, with Christmas and New Years, and no particular plans. Why not go? Maybe it would be . . . cathartic or something.
William sighed and reached to grab a credit card from his wallet. So much for a quiet Christmas to himself, holed up in his blissfully undecorated apartment with takeout from one of the best sushi places in the entire city.
~
Tomahawk was pretty much what he expected. Once he made it out of the four-gate airport with a baggage claim so slow that it might have been faster to walk instead of fly, it turned out there wasn’t even a taxi queue. He had to go back inside and call one himself. And it wasn’t so much a taxi service as something called “Pickles Cab” scratched in above the payphone.
As long as it had wheels and knew how to find the address, he didn’t much care. The dispatch guy had seemed kinda stoned on the phone, but hey, William figured, that just meant he might be able to find some to buy in the area.
The car was easy to spot because it was the only non-white thing moving in the snow-caked parking lot. William eyed the shitty old Vista Cruiser in shades of drab green, rust, and beat-to-shit wood paneling skeptically as it pulled up to the loading zone curb at an angle that was, frankly, terrible. The driver put it in park and popped out the driver’s side door with the engine still running, spewing thick steam out of the tailpipe in the frigid air.
“Hey dood, welcome to Wiscahnsin,” the guy called, waving. “Abandon hope all ye to enter here, heh.” He smirked. William recognized his voice as the person he’d talked to on the phone.
“Uh . . . hi,” William replied awkwardly, hefting his two suitcases,
“Trunks open. Lemme get it fer ya.” The driver hurried around to the back of the car and opened it for William to toss the suitcases in. He had a shock of red hair trying to escape from his black beanie in all directions, and park-job aside seemed slightly less stoned in person than he sounded. “Wanna sit up front? It’s warmer up here, I’ve had the heat blastin’ all the way here . . . uh, just let me clear some shit out first.”
‘Some shit’ seemed to be a lot of empty bottles and cans and snack wrappers, but William waited patiently because it’s not like this place had any actual taxis he could call instead. When he did climb in and buckle his seatbelt, at least it was warm, as promised, even if it did smell like pot and stale beer.
The driver popped back in, stripped the glove off one hand, and rubbed at his nose above a vivid red goatee before grabbing the wheel, “Okey, here we go. I’m Pickles, what’s yer name?”
“William Murderfasche,” William replied. What kind of a name was Pickles? But . . . it did explain the name of the ‘cab’ company.
“Murderface, that’s a fuckin’ cool name. Mind if I just call ya that?”
“. . . Sure.”
“Cool. So dood, Murderface, where to?”
William gave him the address. The car pulled away from the airport with a jerk and he stared out the window at passing snow banks and white-shrouded trees, starting to sink into all his misgivings about the decision to come out here. There was a certain smell that developed anywhere his grandparents inhabited for long enough that he hadn’t realized until moving out on his own kept him in a near-constant state of upset stomach.
“Hope ya don’t mind there ain’t no radio,” Pickles told him companionably, not appearing to mind when William didn’t react. “Tape deck’s broken too. . . . I’m tryin’ ta save up the money to fix it by givin’ people rides and shit. And doin’ some other stuff too, but don’t tell the cops, heh. All the local stations are pretty much shit anywey, all they’re playin’ right now is fuckin’ Christmas songs.”
“Hm,” William agreed.
“What kinda music you listen to?”
“Hm. Uh, what? Oh, schorry. Moschtly metal, I guessch.” He shrugged, shaking himself out of the funk he’d been about to sink into. Usually he would prefer to just be left to his own thoughts, but right now the chit chat was actually a welcome distraction. “It’sch good background muschic for conschentrating on not thinking.”
“Hey dood, me too!” In his enthusiasm, Pickles gunned the engine and sent the car into a brief skid on the wintery road, but corrected it with an ease that spoke to lots of practice. “There’s naht much of a metal scene here, fuckin’ sucks. What else am I supposed to get fucked up to, huh? People jest don’t get that. Is it any better where you live?”
William, braced for impact as he now was and would probably remain for the rest of the ride, shrugged again. “I don’t know. I moschtly keep to myschelf, but there are plenty of schtoresch that have deschent schtuff, if you’re willing to schort through all the other crap.”
“Well, cool. Hey if you wanna hang out at all while yer here, I got a pretty good collection on vinyl. Y’know, if you don’t have family shit to do. I’m avoiding mine due to sort of a . . . landlord tenant dispute. They won’t let me put a lock on the house-door to my basement-room, so I’ve got it barricaded and stopped payin’ rent, and now Mahm won’t let me eat anything she cooks. But it’s cool, I’ve gaht an exterior door so I can still get in’n out.”
It took a moment to digest all that, but William noted the invitation with the tentative optimism of a guy who’d moved a lot as a kid but never quite gotten the hang of making friends as a survival method.
But he was only planning to be in town for a few days, get the condo cleaned out ASAP, and go home, never to return. Not a lot of point in making friends.
“Thanksch, but I probably won’t have time.” He wasn’t looking directly at Pickles, but he saw the driver’s smile drop a few watts out of the corner of his eye. Feeling bad for the guy, he quickly added, “Schoundsch like you’ve got a pretty good schet-up, though.”
“Eh . . . it’s alright.”
The conversation petered out after that, and William had no idea how to get it going again. He’d always been shit at this sort of thing. Looking back, it was probably a miracle that he’d stuck through high school long enough to graduate, having alienated, avoided, or accidentally insulted enough of his peers that virtually no one on campus had ever willingly spoken to him. The only social group he’d ever successfully infiltrated was the lunchtime stoners that hung out in the park across the street, and that was because they’d mostly just sat around passing joints, trying to blow smoke rings, and napping before having to face sixth period.
Eventually Pickles put his turn signal on and announced, "Here we go, Christmas Mountain Avenue. Sheesh, that's a little on the nose, huh?"
Privately William agreed, but awkwardly swallowed the chuckle before it could make itself heard. As they pulled up in front of the building, he peered out the window at the gray, shitty condo building and felt his lip curl. Fuck, there was a fridge in there full of rotting food and cans of condensed milk that he was going to have to deal with somewhere in there, he just knew it.
“Is this where yer staying?” Pickles asked dubiously.
“No,” William said with a shudder. “Thisch isch juscht the . . . family schit I’m here to deal with. My grandparentsch died and I have to clean out their plache by the end of the month.”
“Ooh.” Scratching thoughtfully at his goatee, he leaned forward to get a better look at the building. “. . . You know, the nearest motel is a ten minute walk and it’s gettin’ dark soon. Yer gonna want a ride, prahbably.”
William blinked. “Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.”
Pickles made a show of looking thoughtful. “So . . . want any help? I gaht reeeeal reasonable rates.”
“Well. . . .”
“And I’ve gaht weed, too,” he added.
“Done,” William said immediately.
Well. At least the ordeal would probably be over with sooner this way, and also a lot less horrible with something to blunt the edges (and cover the Smell).
#metalocalypse#12 days of dethmas#metalocalypse fanfic#metalocalypse au#pickleface#william murderface#pickles the drummer
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A Stupidly Long Critique of Saiki K: Reawakened
A Fuckton Of Spoilers Ahead
So I went and watched the new season/continuation of Saiki K today on Netflix and.
Boy, do I have some words.
Spoilers under the cut!
Alright. So as I’ve said, today, (Dec 30th) Netflix decided to rip The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K out of Funimation’s hands and make their own continuation- Saiki K Reawakened. A 6 episode continuation and ending to our beloved show, that’s been hyped up for weeks now.
..Except, it doesn’t really feel that way.
The first episode, (Three Men, A Little Girl, A Police Officer, And A Dog) first of all struck me with this- they no longer had opening/ending theme songs. I posted about it earlier but this made me really upset. The op/ed songs are one of my favorite parts of the anime. Youth Isn’t So Cruel is a beautiful song, The Most Favorable! is hyper active and just a fun listen, Silent Prisoner is bad ass, and Put Your Hands Up always put a smile on my face, and that’s just the opening. But Netflix decided to take away the songs and it’s upsetting. I would’ve been happy even if they just re-used an old opening, because I was expecting something and it was really disappointing.
The episode itself was a bit upsetting itself. I like watch things in order, but the chapter this episode is based off of is literally like the 10th chapter of the manga. I can’t find the exact one at the moment but I remember it was early on (hence, Nendo and Kaido arguing about which one of them is Saiki’s friend and such.) Even then- I went in expecting 6 episodes about his powers reawakening, not “Here’s 5 episodes of chapters we skipped and then we’re gonna mention the powers being reawakened.”
That’s probably one of my biggest problems with Reawakened. It’s just makeup work.
I think it would’ve been better if they put these episodes either in the places they belong or in the Season 3 category under the original show. They didn’t deserve all this hype for filler.
Another thing I missed was that usually, after the ending song in every episode, there’d be a small narration by Saiki of what would come next week. Those were also super funny and I missed that. I feel like Reawakened was a bad fanfiction Netflix wrote which just killed the original work. I thought Reawakened was gonna be a bad ass, slow escalation of Saiki’s powers cranking themselves back up to what they were before the ending of Season 2. And it kind of disappointed.
That isn’t to say Reawakened didn’t have it’s few funny moments. I think the “useless powers” bit actually made me pee a bit.
But it was only of a few. Most moments felt out of character, or out of place, and the bit with the whole “teacher with a 10-year-anniversary-Jump’ was excruciating to sit through. I did like Saiki’s little smile at the end though. It felt like Saiki’s few expressions that make my heart scream ‘uwu’ were the one thing keeping me watching the show.
In Episode 3, (New Teacher with an Outstanding Feature), I personally felt like Iguchi’s existence was a dead horse they kept beating with a stick every time they called him a pervert. He just genuinely made me uncomfortable and felt like a bad forced joke.
On the contrary, Hii felt like a great addition. I think they should’ve added her in the original two seasons in the first place, where she was supposed to be. I didn’t know till the other day that she came in way earlier. She’s a lovable unlucky klutz and she produced some genuinely funny moments. (Though, that whole ‘what happened last time’ bit kinda hurt my soul.) Episode 4 was one of my favorites just because of her. It felt like she brung back what Netflix stripped away from the original anime.
Before I get to the big money maker, episode 6- I have to point out the elephant in the room.
The fucking English dub.
I figured out that I could turn it on at some point during the episode with the useless abilities so I turned it on. I had heard the trailer with Saiki’s..new VA… but I figured he’d grow on me along with the rest of the cast.
Oh my god I was so wrong.
All I heard was Kuniharu’s and Saiki’s voice and genuinely, I nearly threw up. I’ve never had such an urge to slam my head into a brick wall until I heard the voices. I can’t even say much else because I didn’t and still do not have the willpower to sit through the English dub. It’s just.. so.. bad. I can’t stand it. I know that we can’t have the original English cast back because Funimation copyright yadda yadda I get it. But good lord. I can’t stand Saiki’s voice actor. The sarcasm sounds forced, the pauses are uncomfortable, and it just..hurts. The original one felt fluent, and just organic. The English dub made me, in short, want to blow my brains out.
That aside- episode 6. Saiki Kusuo gets his motha’ fuckin powers back.
I had my hopes low when I started this episode out of fear since some of the others literally just made me want to gag myself.
But episode 6… (muwah.) A masterpiece. No anime is perfect but oh my god.
I loved how Saiki kept forgetting he couldn’t use his powers. Call it weird but the way he’s kind of a tsundere in the sense of lying to himself that he doesn’t like any of this and would be much better off without them is one of my favorite things. And it’s even better when he runs out of lies and has to face it. And even then- as his powers slowly integrate back, I about died. It was so funny, with Tortisuka holding his shoulder when he went invisible and Saiki using that as a way out of it, or hearing others thoughts and thinking of it as an auditory hallucination. I didn’t like how the thoughts sounded distant and kind of echo-ey compared to when they were easy to hear before, but that might just be me.
Also? This scene right here? Where all of his friends protect him and he’s upset because he had to be protected? I started bawling. Maybe it’s because Aunt Flo’s in town and I have an unhealthy emotional attachment to Saiki, but it just hurt so bad watching him upset like that. And on a personal level, I felt where he was coming from. I don’t cry much at movies or TV or anime but good grief, I was crying in the club.
The whole meteorite heading to destroy Japan had me in a bit of shock. I saw the cryptic advertisements hyping Reawakened but I almost forgot about them and even then a meteorite didn’t seem dire until it seemed like Saiki had no say in anything.
As the climax builds and Saiki hears his friends panic-
-also featuring the best line uttered by Akechi ever- but even as Saiko says “I need to get my friends to the bunker aswell!” (which, holy shit, I didn’t care for Saiko but that got me to tear up?) I was losing my mind. After so much disappointment and just agony from this continuation- this had to be the best scene there. It’s hard to describe. It’s just so much emotion.
And then it happens.
The ever tsundere-lying-to-himself Kusuo accepts that he’s a psychic who doesn’t mind his disastrous friends sometimes. What a way to end the anime. Call it a cliche beginning-is-the-end but I’ve never been happier to hear those Japanese words. I’ve never loved an ending so much. It emotionally hurt and was hell, but I loved it. This has been my stupidly long criticism of Reawakened!
So, tl;dr, Reawakened had it’s hard weak points but I’ll be damned if I didn’t love the ending. We love my favorite boyo, Saiki Kusuo. Also I’d die for Hii. Goodnight.
edit: recently i noticed that Saiki's eyes compared to everyone elses doesnt have detail (no pupil/shine etc) except for that epic ending scene with Saiki and I jsut- HOLY FUCK here's a gifnthat kinda shows my point- his eyes transition from normal to detailed
#Saiki kusuo#saiki k reawakened#saiki kusuo no psi nan#saiki k#critisism#i dont know how this got so long
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Dec 10th, Thursday 12:18
„We shouldn’t have binged the show til two in the morning.“
Jens had his eyes closed, leaning his forehead against his boyfriends shoulder, who had his arms tightly wrapped around him. The two of them hidden away at the dead end of an empty hallway. Lucas resting his back against a bare white wall.
„For real though.“ Jens replied, yawning while he enjoyed the quiet stolen moment, away from his friends. He loved them dearly. But with Milan’s birthday today, and his little party coming up, as well as the broerrrs’s plan to go finally skating again on sunday, the three other boys were just so damn excited and loud. And it wasn’t just them, the girls having joined the boy group for two days in a row now.
So once they finished their lunch, the couple had excused themselves to pay the toilet a visit. Robbe had only smikred up at them without any comment. Thankfully. The boys promising to meet up with the group again at the classroom for the their dutch test.
It would probably make great sense to get ready to leave, in order to have enough time to arrive and prepare. Jens just didn’t wanted to.
„No.“ He grumbled in discontent when Lucas pushed him away. His boyfriend huffed a laugh. Jens fell right back into the younger boy’s chest.
„Come on, we can’t afford to miss the test.“
Jens obviously knew that Lucas was right about that. Especially if Jens continued to miss a few classes here and there. So at least for the unfortunately important tests he should be present, showing his teachers that Jens was capable of graduating next summer.
Therefore he sighed, straightening himself before he pulled Lucas close to catch him by surprise with a longing kiss. He couldn’t help himself. His hands coming up to cup his boyfriends face.
„For good luck.“ He explained with a grin, once he stepped back a minute later, watching Lucas coming back to himself.
As soon as he had, the younger boy flipped him off. Not less amused.
„Yeah right.“ Lucas simply said, pecking another kiss on Jens’s lips, before he pulled out his mask from his jean’s pocket, where he had stuffed it earlier.
„Oh right, I thought, maybe you could open the email with Robbe? He knows your dad. Perhaps he could help you figure out what’s going on with him? Sorry that I bring that up now, was probably a dumb thing to do, right before a test.“
His boyfriend’s suggestion actually had occured to Jens earlier that day, when Robbe had come up to him infront of the school, hugging his best friend, as he happily chatted away about the coming weekend and their many plans piling up.
The only difference was that Jens wouldn’t let Robbe read it as well. He hadn’t yet come clean to his best friend about his mother’s and therefore his own situation. Jens was scared that the email would talk about things, that he’d rather tell Robbe about first on his own terms. However, it didn’t made Jens dismiss the whole notion to read it while Robbe would be around. It was a calming thought to have.
„It’s okay. I sort of had the same idea.“ Jens agreed with Lucas, putting on his own mask, when both of them started to get moving. They only had turned one corner and already the halls were getting busier. People passing them, as Jens would have liked to just take his boyfriend’s hand in his.
„Seriously? That’s great. I was so sure I had to force you to agree with me. I had a whole 10-step-plan.“
If the two boys wouldn’t have to wear a piece of fabric covering their mouth and nose, Lucas would have been able to see the annoyed pout Jens threw him. Instead he had to be satisfied with him rolling his eyes as grand as possible. Causing Lucas to laugh just as they reached their destination.
„I don’t think I can manage another week of tests.“ Aaron complained with a loud groan audible from the doorway. The poor boy continued right away, while Robbe sympethatically patted his back. „I may as well die. For real tough, I can’t wait for our christmas holiday. Do we actually already have a time set for when we meet at the cabin?“
„Mhm not that I know of. It’s up to each driver really. But I think Senne said, he would plan to be there by six or so.“ Jens provided his friend with the best answer he could. They should probably bring that up on saturday at the party. It was only a week left.
The three boys who hadn’t seen Lucas and him entering the room, suddenly all looked around, startled. Like deer in a headlight.
„Geez, don’t just sneak up on us like that, you creeps.“ Moyo warned with big eyes, nonetheless grinning brightly, as far as his eyes and his moving mask would allow for Jens to interpret his expression.
He was about to hit back with some stupid comment in his defense he’d made up on spot, when their teacher arrived, ordering everyone to find an empty table to sit down at. Single seats only.
Jens wholeheartedly agreed with Aaron.
This was exhausting.
__ __ __
tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots
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Line of Duty Timeline: Can This Help To Solve the Jo Davidson DNA Mystery?
https://ift.tt/3s4cUyW
Warning: contains major spoilers for Line of Duty series 1-6.
You could say we’ve taken this too far. You could be right. You could also say that, for a Line of Duty fan attempting to solve the Jo Davidson family mystery, it’s useful to know that Tommy Hunter was 13 years old when Jo Davidson was born, making him more likely to be her brother than her father. Or that John Corbett was born two months after Jo Davidson, making it impossible for his mother Anne-Marie McGillis to also be her mother.
And then there are the real questions, such as: the day before AC-12 raided Hillside Lane Station in series six, it was Kate Fleming’s 35th birthday. Did she bring in doughnuts? Had Kate come in worse for wear from one too many glasses of white in Frederico’s with Jo? The people demand to know.
Taken from police records glimpsed on screen and episode scripts, below are the key dates mentioned in Line of Duty, in chronological order, right from the start. We’ll update as series six continues. Use it to bolster your theories and beat your friends in arguments. Carry the fire, team.
Prior to Series One
16th July 1963 Edward Gerard Hastings is born. Aged 2, sniffs out a ring of corrupt toddlers at his playschool
10th May 1965 Future OCG leader John Thomas ‘Tommy’ Hunter is born in Glasgow
12th April 1976 Lindsay Elizabeth Denton is born. With a fringe
22nd April 1979 Jo Davidson is born. Suspiciously
3rd June 1979 John Corbett is born to Anne-Marie McGillis in Northern Ireland
1982 19-year-old Ted Hastings joins the Royal Ulster Constabulary, one of two Catholic officers in his unit. Befriends a CHIS named Anne-Marie McGillis
18th April 1989 Anne-Marie McGillis is kidnapped by the IRA
23rd September 1985 Steve Arnott is born. Wearing a waistcoat
3rd November 1985 Kate Fleming is born. Crime doesn’t know what’s about to hit it
29th June 1989 Ted Hastings is injured in a pipe bomb explosion that kills a fellow Catholic officer, he suspects a deliberate attack and a cover-up conspiracy. He moves to England.
ca.1990 A teenage Matthew ‘Dot’ Cottan starts working as a caddy for Tommy Hunter at the Edge Park Golf Club
1990s A group of 17 men including Tommy Hunter and CS Patrick Fairbank routinely sexually abuse the boys at Sands View children’s home
14th November 1998 Social worker Oliver Stephens-Lloyd is found murdered by the OCG after pursuing the Sands View boys’ abuse allegations. It’s made to look like suicide
21st March 1999 John Corbett joins the police service, aged 19
29th July 1999 Joanne Davidson joins the police service, aged 20
29th November 1999 Ryan Pilkington is born to mother Keely on the Borogrove Estate
2001 Anne-Marie McGillis’ corpse is found with signs of torture by the IRA
9th May 2006 Kate Fleming joins Central Police, aged 20
15th October 2007 Steve Arnott joins Central Police, aged 22
2005 A 15-year-old Lisa McQueen is admitted to a police programme for teen offenders
Series One (Unknown 2012)
– Steve Arnott’s counter-terrorism op is botched and CI Osborne demands a cover-up. Steve refuses and is recruited by Ted Hastings at AC-12
– DCI Tony Gates receives the Officer of the Year award and is investigated by AC-12 for manipulating his unit’s stats
– OCG money launderer Jackie Laverty runs over her accountant. Her lover DCI Tony Gates helps to cover it up. She’s murdered by the OCG, who blackmail Gates to cover up a string of drug murders
– DCI Gates gets a confession from OCG leader Tommy Hunter, delivers him to AC-12, then kills himself by stepping into traffic so his family receive a ‘line of duty’ pay-out
November 2012 Deborah Devereux is arrested for assault against a neighbour, DI Buckells at Kingsgate Station has the charges dropped in exchange for sexual favours
Series Two (September – November 2013)
21st May 2013 DI Lindsay Denton terminates her pregnancy, at lover DCC Dryden’s behest
16th August 2013 DCC Mike Dryden is photographed by the OCG engaging in a sex act with underage victim Carly Kirk, who goes missing that day. To fake an alibi, Dryden takes responsibility for his wife’s speeding ticket issued that evening
5th September 2013 A police convoy transporting former OCG head-turned-witness Tommy Hunter is diverted by DI Lindsay Denton, then ambushed and three officers are killed
14th September 2013 Tommy Hunter and DC Georgia Trotman are murdered in hospital by bent copper DS Jeremy Cole
September 2013 – DI Denton is charged with conspiracy to murder, remanded until the 18th of November 2013, released, then rearrested and sentenced to life, serving 585 days inside until her successful appeal.
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Line of Duty Series 5 Recap: Framing Ted Hastings
By Louisa Mellor
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Line Of Duty recap: the story so far
By Louisa Mellor
Series Three (May to July 2015)
13th May 2015 Danny Waldron shoots dead his childhood abuser Ronan Murphy and instigates a police cover-up, later torturing Linus Murphy – another abuser – to death
1st June 2015 Danny Waldron is fatally shot by PC Hari Bains, blackmailed by the OCG
13th July 2015 Danny Waldron’s funeral takes place
17th July 2015 Lindsay Denton is murdered by DI Matthew ‘Dot’ Cottan, who attempts to frame Steve Arnott for the crime
18th July 2015 Dot sends an ‘Urgent exit required’ text to the OCG and is shot out of an AC-12 interview. Kate gives chase and Dot is killed saving her from an OCG bullet. She records his Dying Declaration giving clues to the identity of corrupt officers in league with the OCG
Series Four (March to May 2017)
11th November 2016 The dismembered corpse of sex worker Baswinder Kaur is found
25th January 2017 Leonie Collersdale, also a sex worker, goes missing
9th March 2017 Hana Reznikova is abducted as part of the OCG’s attempt to frame Michael Farmer for the Operation Trapdoor murders
17th March 2017 Roz Huntley hits her head at Tim Ifield’s flat and, thinking her dead, he makes plans to dispose of her corpse. She wakes up and in a struggle, accidentally kills Tim Ifield then attempts to cover it up by cutting off his fingers and disposing of his laptop and phone
4th May 2017 Hastings fatally shoots a ‘Balaclava Man’ attempting to extract and/or kill solicitor Jimmy Lakewell from AC-12 headquarters
5th May 2017 ACC Derek Hilton is found dead, supposedly a shotgun suicide but more likely murdered by the OCG. At a later date, Roz Huntley pleads guilty to the manslaughter of Tim Ifield and is sentenced to 10 years in HMP Brentiss Prison. Jimmy Lakewell pleads guilty to perverting the course of justice and is sentenced to HMP Blackthorn
Series Five (February to July 2019)
Late Dec 2018/Early Jan 2019 -Gill Biggeloe, working for the OCG, lies to John Corbett that Ted Hastings is the corrupt officer responsible for his mother’s death by the IRA. He records the conversation
22nd Jan 2019 Operation Pear Tree officially begins, implanting John Corbett in the OCG
15th Feb 2019 The OCG hijack a heroin shipment Eastfield Depot, murdering 3 corrupt police officers
23rd Feb 2019 PC Maneet Bindra is murdered by the OCG. RIP
27th Feb 2019 The OCG hijack a ballistics transport carrying firearms
4th March 2019 Lisa McQueen meets with DCS Hargreaves, whom she’s been blackmailing over his visits to an OCG-run illegal brothel
5th March 2019 The OCG raid the Eastfield Depot, John Corbett shoots Hargreaves dead
10th March 2019 Steve and Kate question Steph Corbett about John Corbett’s NI connections
12th March 2019 Ted Hastings visits Lee Banks at Blackthorn prison, John Corbett is murdered by Ryan Pilkington
14th March 2019 Patricia Carmichael of AC-3 interviews Ted Hastings over his alleged corruption after he poses as ‘H’ in an unofficial undercover op which results in the arrest of Lisa McQueen and the death of Miroslav Minkowicz. Lisa later makes an immunity deal and gets witness protection. Gill Biggeloe is found to be corrupt, arrested, and also ends up under witness protection
Late March 2019 Operation Pear Tree is concluded, finding no link between police corruption and organised crime. God, give me strength!
27th July 2019 Ryan Pilkington officially joins Central Police
Series Six (October 2020 – ?)
10th September 2019 Gail Vella is murdered outside her Moss Heath home
October 2019 DCI Jo Davidson is made SIO of the Gail Vella murder investigation
2nd or 3rd October 2019 Gail Vella’s funeral takes place
26th October 2020 CHIS Alistair Oldroyd phones his handler to say he heard ‘Ross Turner’ boasting of killing Gail Vella. Det Supt Buckells delays the operation to pick up the suspect until the next morning.
27th October 2020 1:23am: a burner phone found at PS Jatri’s home makes an outgoing call.
Operation Lighthouse is diverted to an armed robbery, causing more than two hours’ delay. Terry Boyle is found at Ross Turner’s address at Beechwood House and arrested on suspicion of murder. The freezer formerly containing Jackie Laverty’s corpse is dumped
29th October 2020 CHIS Alistair Oldroyd is found dead
2nd November 2020 Farida Jatri requests a transfer from MIT. She is replaced by PC Ryan Pilkington. Carl Banks’ corpse is discovered at an industrial site, the prints on the knife match those of Alistair Oldroy
4th November 2020 AC-12 tries to raid Hillside Lane Station but are sent back, then return later to seize the Operation Lighthouse files, some of which are missing and later found in DSU Buckells’ car
8th November 2020 Ryan follows Jo to her home address on Croxton Street
10th November 2020 Kate and Jo go for a drink at Frederico’s Bar, followed by Ryan
11th November 2020 PC Ryan Pilkington attempts to kill Terry Boyle, successfully drowning PC Lisa Patel by forcing the police car into Edge Park Reservoir
November 2020 A police convoy carrying witness Jimmy Lakewell comes under fire by the OCG. DI Arnott shoots a sniper. Lakewell is murdered in prison by OCG member Lee Banks. DNA deposits found at Farida Jatri’s home reveal that Jo Davidson is related to a significant nominal from a past investigation
End of November 2020 AC-12 is due to be merged with AC-3 and AC-9, and Ted Hastings, mother of God, is due to retire
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Line of Duty continues on Sunday the 18th of April at 9pm on BBC One.
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Israeli troops beat the Palestinian teen, shattering his jaw. Then they cuffed him to the hospital bed Soldiers bashed a Palestinian teen with their rifles, breaking his jaw. When finally taken to the hospital, 20 hours later, he was in shackles. His father waited in the hall for three days before he could hug him Gideon Levy, Alex Levac | Dec. 10, 2020 | 9:42 PM |
Mohammed Makbal was in prison this week. He was taken there directly from the hospital, a day after undergoing surgery on his jaw, which Israeli soldiers shattered with their rifle butts while arresting him on the street. In Hadassah University Hospital, Ein Karem, he was shackled to the bed, part of the time by the leg with an iron chain, part of the time with handcuffs. He also emerged from the operating room with his hands and legs shackled.
Makbal is a 16-year-old youth, in 10th grade at the boys’ high school in the Al-Arroub refugee camp; his father, Mounir, is deputy principal. Israeli soldiers thought Mohammed had thrown stones at them, and vented their rage on him. They arrested four other teens along with him, and beat them, too, but less severely. Eyewitnesses say the arrests were random; the soldiers grabbed whomever they could. There were many youngsters on the street to choose from.
The Makbals’ home is located on the eastern, more spacious side of the Al-Arroub camp, which is situated between Bethlehem and Hebron. We were there last week, too, after hearing of the arrest of another Palestinian minor, Basel Badawi, who had been snatched from his home by soldiers in the dead of night between November 15 and 16.
Two weeks later, on November 29, two Israel Defense Forces jeeps entered the main street of the crowded camp in the morning, though for what purpose is still not clear. Perhaps to demonstrate a presence – or just to provoke the schoolchildren, who naturally played their part and started to throw stones at the invading armored vehicles.
Mounir Makbal, 48, was in his office in the school at the time. In his youth Makbal, who today has five other children besides Mohammed, worked at a vegetable stall in Jerusalem’s Mahane Yehuda market and afterward in construction in Israel, until he was appointed the school’s deputy principal. He also studied administration at the university level while working. .
On that same morning Mohammed left the house around 7:20, as he did every day, to accompany his little sister, Lubav, to her primary school, which is some distance away. He then walked back to his school, which is closer to home, on the way stopping to buy falafel at a local place that his father calls “Shlomo’s Falafel,” because it reminds him of a similar eatery near Mahane Yehuda in Jerusalem. Shlomo’s Falafel, or maybe it was Shalom’s, he doesn’t remember.
In any event, as Mohammed went in to get a falafel, he later told his father, he suddenly saw dozens of children running down the street outside, leaving their bookbags behind on the ground so they could run faster: The army was in the camp and was firing tear-gas grenades.
At about 8:30 A.M., a neighbor from the camp called Mounir to say that the army had taken his son. The father rushed to the camp’s entrance gate where he saw three children, two of Mohammed’s age and one younger, standing on the road, handcuffed and blindfolded, soldiers surrounding them. Mounir asked the soldiers where his son was. Another resident, at the scene, told him his son was under arrest in an army jeep inside the camp.
The jeep arrived a quarter of an hour later. Mounir saw two soldiers removing Mohammed from the vehicle. His son could barely stand; they dragged him, bound and blindfolded, a soldier on each side. A blood-stained coronavirus mask covered his face. To his father he looked as though he had been badly beaten.
“I was very worried about my son’s condition,” Mounir told us in the fluent Hebrew he hasn’t spoken in years, when we visited him this week.
Out of the jeep emerged a Shin Bet security service agent known locally as “Captain Karem,” a familiar figure in Al-Arroub, this time wearing an IDF uniform (locals say that when he’s involved in operational activities, he wears a uniform).
“What’s with Mohammed? My son is still a baby, how come you’re taking him?” Mounir recalls asking the captain. “What does he say to me? ‘I will take your son’s pants off and rape him here.’ I said to him, ‘I am sorry to hear the person in charge of security talking like that.’ When I heard those words, the pressure began to build up in me. Captain Karem told me, ‘Beat it, or I’ll take you down with tear gas.’”
Mounir moved away and lost sight of his son. After a short time, the proprietor of the kiosk at the entrance to the camp informed him that the troops had “loaded the children into a jeep.”
The next day, Mounir was in a meeting at the Palestinian Education Ministry in the town of Halhul, near Hebron, when he got a phone call from Hadassah hospital in Jerusalem. He was told that the army had brought his son in during the night and that he should get there quickly, because they were going to operate and needed parental authorization.
When Mounir explained that he did not have an entry permit for Israel, the hospital official promised to send him a letter that he could take to the District Coordination and Liaison Office, which would issue an entry permit. The letter, addressed to Dalia Basa, health coordinator in the Civil Administration, stated: “Person is a minor. Need urgent permit for the father!” The permit arrived within a few hours. Mounir went to checkpoint 300 outside Bethlehem and from there took a taxi to Hadassah.
He was directed to the oral and maxillofacial surgery department, where a physician told him his son had been brought in at 3 A.M. with fractures of the jaw that required surgery. The medical file stated that Mohammed was suffering from a left condylar fracture. “Brought to ER about 20 hours after being bruised during his arrest for throwing stones.” Bruised. But Mounir felt somewhat relieved: It was only the jaw. But then his ordeal began.
Mohammed was in room 217 in the ward, in the bed next to the door. As Mounir entered he was appalled to see his son chained to the bed with two soldiers guarding him. They asked Mounir who he was and when he identified himself, they ordered him to leave. “Get out, you’re not allowed to be here.” Mounir left.
“I couldn’t argue. It’s the IDF,” he says now.
Then the game of cat and mouse began. Mounir, in the corridor, would steal a look at his wounded son through the half-open door, occasionally snapping a photograph of him with his cellphone, sometimes shouting a word of encouragement to him – and the soldiers would chase him away. At some point, the soldiers moved Mohammed to a bed next to the window, making it impossible for Mounir to see him from the hall. Then they made him leave the corridor as well.
Yet another exemplary form of service in the IDF: being warders of a teenager wounded by the blows of one’s comrades and forcefully chasing away his father.
Mounir remained in the hospital, sleeping in a waiting room and looking for opportunities to see his son, even for a brief moment. The photographs he took show Mohammed lying on the bed and shackled to it, or standing up before being taken to prison, handcuffed.
On Wednesday, before he underwent his operation, a remand hearing was held via video conference at the hospital. The presiding judge was Lt. Col. Yair Lahan of the Military Court, Judea. Prosecutor: Lt. Betty Bershadsky; defendant: Mohammed Makbal. Suspicion: throwing stones at military vehicles and hurling a Molotov cocktail.
Mohammed was ordered to remain in custody for six days, a protocol that constitutes authorization for imprisonment. Judge Lahan added: “In view of the prosecution’s consent and because the investigation has concluded, I instruct those supervising the suspect in the hospital to allow the suspect’s father to see him, under the oversight of one of the supervisors, for a reasonable visiting time.” The operation could proceed.
Mounir immediately set off after his son, whose bed had meanwhile been taken down to floor minus 4, the surgery floor. Mounir was allowed to see him as he was being prepared for his operation and, for the first time, was permitted to embrace and kiss the youth. Again he photographed him chained to the bed. Mohammed told him about the events of Sunday morning; how he had escorted his sister, bought a falafel and saw the furor in the street.
Mounir says he’s certain his son doesn’t throw stones. “I know, because I keep him in the house.”
Mohammed related that initially, soldiers had struck him with rifle butts in the camp and then beat him again at Karmei Tzur, a settlement, to which he was taken. He was then moved to the Etzion base for interrogation. It’s not difficult to imagine the scene of the interrogation of a teenager who had never been arrested before and was undoubtedly suffering hellish pain from his fractured jaw.
“That’s the boy’s story,” his father says.
Mounir was appalled to see that the army accompanied his son even into the operating room. “A soldier enters the operating room with my baby!”
Mohammed was bound hand and foot when he emerged from the operation, which had been performed under full anesthesia. The soldiers allowed Mounir to be with him for 40 minutes.
“I remained with him for 40 minutes exactly,” he tells us. “For me it was tremendous. Forty minutes after not being able to go to him for three days. The most painful thing is not being allowed to be by the side of your wounded son. Only I was there, not his mother or his siblings; they were not given a permit. I was there until they got him ready to be transferred to prison, on Thursday.”
Before the soldiers took Mohammed to Megiddo Prison, they emptied his pockets and filmed the procedure in video. Mohammed had 3 shekels (about 90 cents) on him, which had been intended for the purchase of a falafel on that fateful morning. In the last photograph his father was able to take, Mohammed is seen standing in the corridor, hands bound and face covered with a surgical mask that concealed his wound.
The IDF Spokesperson’s Unit made the following statement to Haaretz: “On Sunday, November 29, 2020, a number of suspects threw stones and bottles of paint at Israeli vehicles and buses that were traveling adjacent to the Al-Arroub refugee camp, which is located in the area of the Etzion territorial brigade. As a result of the stone throwing, two passengers were injured and vehicles were damaged.
“An IDF force that arrived on the scene pursued a number of suspects in the area. During the pursuit the suspects threw more stones at the force. At the conclusion of the pursuit, five suspects were arrested and taken in for further interrogation by the security forces.
“During the arrest of the suspects, one tried to escape his arrest... and in response the force was sent into action to prevent his escape, which led to his being injured. His transfer for medical treatment took place after the relevant professional personnel examined the need for this, and subject to the coronavirus restrictions. During his stay in the hospital, the detainee was under supervision in accordance with orders.
“On December 2, 2020, around midday, the above-mentioned underwent surgery. Throughout the operation the soldiers guarding him waited outside the operating room.”
When we saw him this week, Mounir was worried about whether his son was taken from Megiddo to Hadassah for a follow-up examination that was scheduled for Monday of this week. “That is very important and very urgent, and I am very concerned,” he said.
According to the Israel Prison Service, “the hospital’s recommendations for follow-up were followed, but his medical confidentiality precludes our going into the details of his treatment.”
On Thursday, Mohammed Mounir was ordered to remain in custody until his next hearing, scheduled for December 24.
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CARNIVAL recaps [1/13]
These will be full recaps of Carnival, the JDC book between Carnival Eve (recapped here) and Carnival Day (will be recapped as soon as this one is done). It's necessary to know the events of Cosmic, Joker and Carnival Eve before tackling this one. (The Saimon Family Case isn't ultra necessary, but it certainly helps.)
Carnival on its own has 26 episodes, each one spanning a week. They’re told completely out of chronological order. A note at the beginning encourages the reader to either experience them in this weird sequence (“the reader method”), or use the list provided to read them in chronological order (“the writer method”). The recap follows the reader’s way.
This and the next book are intentionally written to be VERY confusing and will constantly jump between places, times and characters. There are dates at the beginning of chapters, but they won't necessary mean a chapter happens exactly in that timeframe. There are tons and tons of characters. GOOD LUCK.
As for content warnings, there will be suicide, a lot of death and grieving in general, mental illness, a global virus pandemic, poorly handled Nazis, and also the author can’t write gay people.
Today’s recap: Christmas on Easter, S-detectives galore, broken gaydars, and the author letting you know early that he won’t hesitate to kill major characters.
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[PART 1 — CARNIVAL ACT]
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ONE
23 Nov 1996 — 29 Nov 1996
EASTER ISLAND
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Now that it's been over three months since the Crime Olympics began on August 10th, the estimated death toll has reached over four hundred million.
Each Saturday a great tragic incident happens somewhere in the world at exactly 1 PM local time. A mysterious terrorist organization RISE announced that it’s the doing of the Billion Killer, an omnipotent being with no tangible form.
While the Billion Killer is fearsome, most of the deaths happen due to other causes. RISE’s “Invisible Soldiers” (IS for short) are stealthily killing people, and the global crime rate is on the rise. Some call it an Invisible War. There’s also a new disease called Alive [or Arrive? can be either word] spreading around and killing people in droves with its extremely low survival chance.
--
Christmas Mizuno has recently been staying on Easter Island. While there, he makes friends with a blind girl called Joyeeta, the daughter of the owner of the inn that Christmas is staying at.
Before he came here, Christmas had assisted Ryuuguu Jounosuke in investigating one of the Billion Killer’s cases in Peru. While they were there, Ryuuguu suddenly collapsed in fever brought on by the Alive disease, but had the extreme luck to recover after a short period of coma. But after he woke up, he seemed… different, and in an unusually brash way told Christmas to basically fuck off and try to find any clues on the Easter Island.
Christmas was confused by the sudden change in Ryuuguu, but at least glad about him surviving. So much has already been lost in the Crime Olympics. The JDC building’s explosion in August killed close to 300 out of 350 members of the organization. Christmas’s beloved Kasumi Fuyuka was dead, and they couldn’t even find Ajiro Souji’s body in the rubble.
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When Christmas and Joyeeta are riding around the island, she suddenly says in her poor English that “a giant bird is falling”, and immediately afterwards they hear a rumbling sound and feel vibrations like that of an earthquake. Christmas assumes a plane has crashed and they speed up towards the beach.
It turns out the Moai statues have suddenly fallen over and killed a lot of tourists. Between the bodies lies the sixteenth skull of the Billion Killer; these are strangely glistening skulls made out of yet unidentified material, that so far are suspected to be symbolic “medals” of the Crime Olympics, one skull being left on each crime scene of the Billion Killer.
One of the dead tourists managed to draw a dying message in the sand: a simple image of a flying bird (?) and the letters NAS next to it.
When they return to town, they discover Joyeeta’s father had died around the same time the statues fell, stabbed with a yet unknown weapon in a pool full of other people. Christmas thinks a lot about how the impact of this one death is lost next to the more flashy Billion Killer case.
Joyeeta believes that “the bird” may have been brought here by her dead older sister Tierra as revenge, and that it killed their father. Tierra had been once attacked by a guest, pushed him in self-defense and accidentally killed him, which made the enraged father beat her and kick her out. Tierra was found dead on the beach later.
Despite being fed this entire sob story, Christmas already suspects that it was Joyeeta who killed her father, but leaves that be.
He can't guess the trick behind the Moai case. What did the bird and NAS mean? The Nazca bird drawing? Or maybe a NASA space shuttle crashed near the island? Unable to figure out much, Christmas eventually goes back to Peru to reunite with Ryuuguu and investigate the Nazca lines just in case.
After he leaves, we the readers learn that the blind girl named Joyeeta was the one who had died, and Tierra was just pretending to be her. After Joyeeta’s death, Tierra had found a dagger on the beach and prayed to the Moai asking for her father to die somehow. When she checked the beach later, the dagger wasn’t there—and now it seems like the Moai heard her wish.
--
Thinking again on how Joyeeta's father could have been killed, Christmas reasons out that he was stabbed when everyone’s attention was focused on the rumbling and noise. It’s like that saying about “the magician's left hand”—an illusionist distracts the audience with his right hand while really performing the trick with his left.
If something had enough force to topple the Moai statues, maybe it would also be able to fling a knife into the victim somehow. Or maybe Christmas is just rambling again, but hey, wandering around in confusion until he bumps into a solution is his reasoning method after all.
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TWO
30 Nov 1996 — 06 Dec 1996
NAZCA LINES
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When Christmas arrives in Peru a week after the Moai case, another weird incident has already happened: the terrain inside the eye of the Condor of the Nazca lines was burned in a pattern resembling a crop circle, yet another skull of the Billion Killer found in the center. There were no victims of the incident.
Christmas, Ryuuguu, Jouka (dressed completely in white which complements Ryuuguu’s black nicely) and the local guide investigate the scene.
Ryuuguu really changed after going through Alive. While he still has all his quirky mannerisms, he acts colder and Christmas gets the unsettling feeling that his usually friendly colleague now hates his guts. What’s more, Ryuuguu recently proposed to Jouka, which came completely out of the blue for someone seemingly as uninterested in relationships. Almost like he’s a whole other person.
Ryuuguu eventually leaves them to board a Cessna with the guide so they can examine the Nazca lines from above. Christmas talks with Jouka. She also noticed the change in their fellow detective, but accepts that nobody stays the same forever.
--
The Cessna crashes.
The guide survives for long enough to explain the accident. Something weird happened to the engine and made them crash. Up until the last moments Ryuuguu encouraged the guide to escape while staying calmly in his seat. His last words were:
“So this is fate… nothing can save you from it… Ryuuguu Jounosuke dies here...”
Detectives aren’t exempt from death. Four million people die every day in the Crime Olympics, Ryuuguu and the guide being just a tiny fraction of that number. Accidents happen. Christmas knows this, but the shocking news are still too much to handle. Jouka starts wearing black.
Christmas thinks that maybe it wasn’t a complete accident. Maybe Ryuuguu was aware of how much the disease changed him and gave up on life. It’s been confirmed that he showed up at the plane’s checkup that day, which someone with his talent for breaking machines would never do to avoid touching something important by accident.
Jouka believes it could have been murder, but can’t guess the details. She says cryptically that she’s certain that “Jounosuke died, but Ryuuguu is still alive”. Christmas desperately wants to believe this means there were TWO Ryuuguus present, one of them a disguised stranger. The real Ryuuguu caught on and sabotaged the engine, thus killing the imposter.
But no matter how hard they hope and investigate, they have to accept that the person who was at the checkup and who died in the crash was the same original Ryuuguu Jounosuke, and he will never come back again.
The only thing they may do is to turn away from the unchangeable past and focus on the future.
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THREE
24 Aug 1996 — 30 Aug 1996
STONEHENGE
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Hikimiya Yuuya was lucky enough not to be in the JDC building when it exploded, but it still had a giant emotional impact on him. So many people died, Ajiro Souji went missing, and some like Kirika Mai are still fighting for their life in the hospital.
The Billion Killer struck once again on August 24th, this time causing pieces of the famous Stonehenge to fall over and kill some tourists, the mandatory glistening skull found at the scene. On the same day a similar case happened in France: over a hundred people were killed when the famous Carnac Stones somehow fell on their heads, as if they had been teleported high into the air.
Hikimiya is staying at the Paris headquarters of the international detective organization DOLL, which occupies a large building complex surrounding the Place des Vosges. He’s tasked with assisting one of only seven S-rank detectives in the world. Seven may seem like very few, but it’s actually a lot; often there was just a single S-detective in existence for years, and having more than four at once was unheard of until the last few decades. In comparison, there are over five thousand registered A-detectives.
JDC isn't looking too good in the rankings. They do have two S-ranks (Ajiro and Juku) and one A-rank (Yaiba), but Kirika is C-rank, Jounosuke and Nemu are both D, and poor, poor Hikimiya never rose above an F.
The book gives us a handy list of S detectives, all of which will be highly relevant later. (In order: name — official DOLL title — less official DOLL nickname)
Zerofini Roi — Armchair Leader — Madame Alpha (from France)
Lemuria Sullivan — Knight in Night — Herr Omega (from Spain)
Desert Colosseum — Deus Ex Machina — Frau D (from Germany)
Ronely Queen — Whodunnit Magician — Mistress Queen (from USA)
Souji Ajiro — Philo Sphere — Mister Dick (from Japan)
Firannu Meiruneshia — Locked Empress — E-Mail (from Italy)
Juku Tsukumo — God of Detectives — Jukebox (from Japan)
[I still can’t believe it’s spelt Ronely Queen, and I have long given up on trying to find the correct way to romanize Meiruneshia's name. And I know that Ajiro’s nickname probably comes from “detective” just like Dick Gumshoe, but. MISTER DICK. Who’s responsible for this.]
A person chosen to be an S-detective stays listed as one until their death is confirmed. They will still be considered S-detectives even if they’re kicked out of DOLL (Lemuria Sullivan apparently was, but that's a story for another time).
Strangely enough, all of the S-detectives (aside from Lemuria) can speak fluid Japanese, the official explanation being that Firannu is a giant nerd interested in Japan and infected everyone with enthusiasm towards learning the language.
--
Hikimiya and Desert Colosseum / Frau D are both experts in data analysis. Their work room aside from the traditional shelves full of files also hosts a giant supercomputer, which is affectionately called Egg Mac because of its egg-shaped dome that the operator enters to access the interface.
Despite the nickname, Frau D is a guy. He’s a heavy corpulent man with a charming round face and a weird hairstyle that makes Hikimiya think of a plant (cut short in the back and sides, the rest grown into a slightly green tuft). He has a fastidiously kept thin moustache and skin that’s way too nice for a dude in his early thirties. He’s strangely fashionable too. Really likes chewing gum and popcorn.
Hikimiya has several problems with the man. One, Frau always calls him the equivalent of “boy”, which feels condescending, even though Hikimiya really is like a decade younger and pretty naive. Two, Frau loves stupid pranks like pretending he’s dead, and it’s hard to tell whether he says something seriously or in jest. Three, he changes the number lock to their work room all the time, so Hikimiya has to sit outside and painstakingly figure out the new code.
Frau states that Hikimiya is the one who should mature, learn how to keep cool, and examine the situation carefully instead of relying on preconceptions (and so falling for something like that death prank). He thinks Hikimiya may already be an E-rank detective, maybe even a D-rank, and Frau just wants to help polish his skills.
It’s true that Hikimiya now needs barely an hour to break the number lock instead of half a day… but it’s still insufferable.
--
Hikimiya also meets DOLL’s leader and the single best detective in the world, Madame Alpha. At first sight she seems to be a pretty normal friendly lady. She looks a lot like Angela Lansbury in Murder She Wrote and has that particular calming mom energy.
Hikimiya is a little awkward with introductions, which makes Frau poke fun at him, to which Madame just advises Hikimiya to never take anything Frau says too seriously. (“But I’m always serious~”, Frau responds.)
Madame states that she already found the culprit of the Carnac Stones case, talked with him, and he promised to go to the police station and turn himself in. (Frau criticizes her naivety, to which she responds like “it’s my case, I do what I want”.) But Madame already knows that it's not the case that Hikimiya wanted to ask about—rather, he wants to know if Ajiro Souji really died in the explosion. As expected from the greatest detective in the world, it's like she's reading his thoughts.
Madame’s unique and for now unexplained Zero Reasoning tells her that Ajiro Souji is still alive.
--
Later Hikimiya admits to Frau that he was surprised about Madame actually being a woman, considering that Frau is a man despite his nickname.
Frau explains that the nickname comes from the fact that in a way, he’s the actual Desert Colosseum's "wife" (Frau D = Frau Desert Colosseum). You see, Frau on his own is simply a talented A-detective. The one called Desert Colosseum is actually the advanced AI of the Egg Mac, and when Frau uses it for data analysis, together they reach the power equivalent to that of an S-rank detective.
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FOUR
31 Aug 1996 — 06 Sept 1996
CAPPADOCIA
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Hikimiya meets up in a cafe with two of his colleagues who have just arrived in France to investigate the Carnac Stones case (Madame found the culprit, but the trick itself has yet to be explained). It’s Tsukumo Nemu and Ryuuguu Jounosuke, who have been investigating as a great duo lately.
Jounosuke and Nemu had been lucky enough that they were leaving the JDC building at the time of the explosion, so they came out pretty much unscathed. Nemu still worries about Kirika, but Jounosuke as always is good at putting others at ease with his words. Perhaps it’s because he treats words and languages as dear friends, and always takes great care using them. ...but then he also has all those mannerisms like talking about himself in third person, or calling everyone with a gendered suffix -shi or -jou instead of the expected -san.
Jounosuke gets persuaded to try the local sweet apple tea instead of his usual coffee. The waiter still accidentally brings coffee, and Jounosuke even dumps a bunch of sugar into it on reflex before they have it taken back. Hikimiya says that the tea is already sweet and doesn't need sugar, but Jounosuke's sweet tooth is a hard enemy to defeat. They exchange friendly banter, then Jounosuke out of nowhere tells Hikimiya a riddle, and when surprised Hikimiya can’t find the right answer, Jounosuke triumphantly adds just a tiny amount of sugar into the tea, because hey, he won, he deserves it.
Hikimiya enjoys the stupid banter, but still can’t fully relax because of something that happened the previous day...
--
When he and Frau were at work yesterday, they got news about a new case, this one in Cappadocia. The Billion Killer had somehow managed to instantly burn down the entire rock monastery together with a movie crew, so that only the rock base and yet another skull remained. Frau asked Hikimiya to gather data about the place in the library.
Cappadocia is a quite popular and mysterious tourist spot. There are even wacky theories about the underground city having been an ancient nuclear shelter. Apparently, naturally formed ancient layers with glass have been found in many deserts, and some theorize they had been created by the heat of ancient nuclear explosions. Hikimiya thinks this ancient nuclear war theory is as interesting as it is depressing. Maybe humans really don’t change.
Hikimiya was pretty upset with his day and with Frau, but at least he was looking forward to meeting Nemu and Jounosuke again.
As expected from a detective said to know even tomorrow's news, Frau D already knew about his protégé's future meeting and asked if Nemu was Hikimiya’s girlfriend. When Hikimiya said she wasn't, Frau casually asked if Jounosuke was his boyfriend, then, because from what Frau could see, Hikimiya’s utterly happy expression probably meant he was about to meet with a loved one. Hikimiya sputtered and insisted they’re all just good friends. [Oh Hikimiya, if only you knew what your pixiv tag looks like...]
Frau was still looking at him seriously, so Hikimiya just tried to give him the data on Cappadocia that he had asked for. But Frau then stated he didn't need it, because he had already investigated the topic by himself in full—he just wanted Hikimiya to learn how to use sources instead of blindly accepting information from another person.
Hikimiya’s frustration with his own helplessness and the world hit a peak at this moment, and before he could blink, he was already rambling out completely irrational angry nonsense, like “then why are you keeping me here if I'm so useless, oh I get it, you’re gay and only chose me as an assistant from the DOLL database because of my looks rather than my skills”.
Hikimiya himself wasn’t sure where the hell this line came from. Maybe because he was often perceived as gay despite not swinging that way at all [here described as “being normal”, fuck off], so he was just subconsciously directing any self-doubt away from himself. Or maybe he was afraid of people targeting him for his body or something.
...and also because Frau had once taken him to a place widely known for its gay clientele. That happened too. [Hikimiya, honey, I'm sorry to say this, but if it took you this long to realize a guy who invited you to THE Club Banana Café on a go-go night was gay, then I question your detective skills.]
Frau was at first shocked at this outburst, but then calmed down and asked, “How did you know that I’m gay?” [What do you mean how, you literally took him to- you know what, let's just settle on both these guys being absolute dumbasses.]
--
...so even now when he’s with his friends in a cafeteria Hikimiya can’t fully relax, because he’s still dreading the possibility that oh god, what if the man he’s currently stuck working under really just wants him for his body? Frau told him not to worry, sexual harassment was not at all his thing and he wouldn’t force anyone into a relationship, BUT WHAT IF. [Are we really doing the predatory gay trope? Are we really? Sigh.]
Anyway… they talk about the Crime Olympics some more, and Hikimiya and Jounosuke continue to banter like brothers.
Suddenly there’s a commotion. The waiter that served the detectives’ table stumbles over towards Jounosuke and vomits blood before falling dead.
Jounosuke takes it upon himself to investigate the death. He talks to the chef to learn what happened, then comes back to his friends with a weird expression.
He discovered that the spoon in the sugar bowl at their table didn’t have any fingerprints on it. Of course neither Hikimiya nor Nemu used it (the sweet tea didn't need sugar) and Jounosuke as always had his gloves on, but it’s weird that other patrons who had been sitting there earlier didn’t leave fingerprints.
The only explanation is that any fingerprints were wiped away by the murderer while he was adding poison to the sugar. The waiter probably accidentally poisoned himself with the sweetened coffee he took back to the kitchen. The incident likely wasn’t even a murder attempt directed specifically at the detectives, but just another one of the thousands of everyday chaotic crimes of the Crime Olympics. Jounosuke was incredibly lucky to have used only a little bit of the sugar for his tea. Hikimiya unwittingly saved his life.
Jounosuke can't stop blaming himself for the waiter’s death. Hikimiya knows that this feeling of guilt is partially born from the memory of that time in Geneijo when he couldn’t protect Souya. Hikimiya wasn’t even there at the time, so he has no idea what to say to Jounosuke to cheer him up. Just like every day in the Crime Olympics, he’s just left cursing his own helplessness.
--
[>>>NEXT PART>>>]
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Schitt’s Creek fic masterpost
Complete list of all schitt’s creek fanfic I’ve written, listed in chronological order by the timeline of the show, not the order in which they were written.
CANON-COMPLIANT:
Eyes Shut Tight (ao3) - Missing scene from 4x02. Rated Mature, 1300 words. (26 Jul 2020)
Boyfriends (ao3) - Labels Part 1 - takes place around 4x03, Rated Explicit, 3400 words (14 Jan 2020)
Room Eleven *Part of the Sex Motel series; only posted on ao3* - David and Patrick decide to go to the Elm Glen motel for some alone time after Jocelyn's baby shower. Rated Explicit, 4800 words (01 Mar 2020)
“I Love You” (ao3) - Labels Part 2 - takes place after 4x12, Rated Teen, 2800 words (21 Apr 2020)
New Year’s Day (ao3) - A silly bit of fluff written on the 10th anniversary of the tenth Doctor’s regeneration. Rated Gen, 500 words (31 Dec 2019)
Electrical Storm (ao3) - David takes the “How Electric Is Your Relationship” quiz (from 5x01) and happily reminisces, until he sees his score. Rated Explicit, 5900 words. (03 Jan 2020)
Stay Tonight, Stay Forever (ao3) - David has a bad day, and Patrick tries to make it better. Set sometime after 5x05. Rated Explicit. 3000 words. (18 Aug 2019)
Partners (ao3) - Labels Part 3 - takes place after 5x06, Rated Explicit, 3267 words (24 Apr 2020)
What Love Should Be Like (ao3) - David x Patrick, post-”Meet the Parents”. Rated Teen. 3800 words. (05 Aug 2019)
Even the Orchestra is Beautiful (ao3) - Alexis and Patrick friendship, with a little bit of David x Patrick at the end. Set the day after the events of “Life is a Cabaret.” Rated Gen. 1900 words. (07 Aug 2019)
Kit Kat Girl Number One (ao3) - The story of the Schitt's Creek production of Cabaret told from the point-of-view of Kit Kat Girl Number One. Rated Teen, 4500 words (20 Jan 2020)
If You’re Happy, I’m Happy (ao3) - 6x01 reaction fic, Patrick and the Roses. Rated Gen, 1500 words (09 Jan 2020)
Petrichor (ao3) - 6x02 reaction fic, David and Stevie. Rated Teen, 1250 words (16 Jan 2020)
Gifts (ao3) - 6x04 reaction fic, Patrick and Jocelyn talk about their relationships to the Roses. Rated Gen, 1300 words (31 Jan 2020)
Top Five (ao3) - 6x06 reaction fic, David and Patrick discuss the possibility of a threesome, and sexy time ensues. Rated Explicit, 3150 words. (13 Feb 2020)
Every Night (ao3) - 6x07 reaction fic, the final scene from Patrick’s point-of-view. Rated Teen, 1560 words (19 Feb 2020)
Fiancés (ao3) - Labels Part 4 - takes place after 6x08, David and Patrick visit the Brewers during their engagement. Rated Teen, 3823 words (28 Apr 2020)
Vows (ao3) - 6x13 reaction fic, Patrick works on his wedding vows. Rated Teen, 1250 words (04 Apr 2020)
Today and All the Days that Follow (ao3) - 6x14 reaction fic, An exploration of David and Patrick’s relationships, both on the wedding day and in the future. Rated Explicit, 8800 words (15 Apr 2020)
Transformative (ao3) - Stevie-centric, background David x Patrick - Stevie navigates being David’s Best Person at the wedding reception. This fic explores an idea I’ve been playing with that Stevie is aro. Rated Teen, 3260 words (26 Aug 2019)
Decisions (ao3) - Flashbacks to all the little decisions that brought David and Patrick together to their wedding night. Canon compliant through S5. Rated Teen. 5600 words. (25 Jul 2019)
Five Times Ronnie Was a Friend to David and One Time She Was a Friend to Patrick (ao3) - Rated Teen, 3877 words (06 May 2020)
_____________________________________
FUTURE FICS:
Just a Day (ao3) - David and Rachel have a talk. Post-marriage. Rated G, 2500 words. (01 Dec 2019)
Husbands: Two Years In (ao3) - Labels Part 5. A year in the life of Patrick Brewer, about two years into his marriage with David. Rated E, 25,000 words.(20 Jul - 29 Jul 2020)
Profane Art (ao3) - Jake, Patrick, and David have a threesome, and David gets introspective about the symbolism of jewelry. Rated Explicit, 1667 words. (13 Aug 2020)
Kitchen Gossip (ao3) - David stumbles into some girl talk with Marcy and her sisters. Rated Teen, 1452 words. (19 Aug 2020)
In Sickness and in Health (ao3) - When Johnny is rushed to the hospital with more than just heartburn, Patrick has to try to hold David and the rest of the Roses together. Set in some future time after David and Patrick are married. Rated Gen. 3850 words (14 Aug 2019)
_____________________________________
CANON-DIVERGENT / AU:
How Do We Get Back (ao3) - In a literal alternate universe where the Roses escaped financial ruin, David and Patrick struggle with loneliness and a sense that something isn’t right. A chance meeting in New York and a terrible tragedy drive them to question whether the timeline they are on is the right one. Rated Explicit, ~60,000 words. (14 Oct 2019 - 04 Dec 2019)
I Like You Enough to Stay - *Open Fic Night 2.0; only posted on ao3* Canon divergence where David didn’t pick up on enough of the cues to kiss Patrick the night of his birthday. Now they’ve been in limbo for months, the sexual tension is thick, and Stevie and Alexis are sick of it. Rated Explicit, 16,300 words. (21 Dec 2019)
My Heartbeat Shows the Fear (ao3) - A canon divergent story: Patrick gets into a car accident and it brings the Brewers to town sooner. Rated Teen, 21,000 words. (17 Aug 2020 - 24 Aug 2020)
The Things We Don’t Speak Aloud (ao3) - What if Johnny got to Marcy and Clint's motel room before David did during Meet the Parents? Rated Gen, 2000 words (03 Feb 2020)
Near-Death Experience (ao3) - Patrick of the past is able to see what his future might hold if he can find the courage to seek it out. Rated Teen, 4600 words (19 Apr 2020)
To Come Out the Other Side (ao3) - David mourning the loss of his husband. That's it, that's the fic. Dead dove; do not eat. Rated Teen, 4600 words (25 Feb 2020)
(All the fics I’ve written since I’ve been on tumblr can also be found from the “my fic” tag linked in my blog description.)
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Lazada SEO: How To Rank Your Products in Lazada Search Results
1. What is Lazada Search Rank Optimization (also called Lazada SEO)?
Lazada SEO refers to the process that sellers use to improve the visibility of their products in Lazada search results.
Approximately 70% of all Lazada sales come from directly searching for a product so having your product appear in page 1 of search results is critical to building a successful Lazada selling business.
Let’s look at an example for a hypothetical seller that is selling basketballs with a store named Basketball King Store.
The most popular customer searches for Basketball King Store’s products would include basketball, indoor basketball, men’s basketball, women’s basketball.
So, quite obviously, ranking #1 or #2 in Lazada search results for these search terms will be quite lucrative for Basketball King Store.
Lazada SEO refers to the process of a seller improving their product listing in a way that allows them to rank in Lazada search results.
2. Why is Lazada search rank important?
Most customers never even browse to page two of search results. The typical user journey is like this:
Go to homepage of Lazada
Search for product
Browse/review search results
Add best search result to cart
Checkout
So if a seller is not appearing in step 3 of their user journey when a customer browses search results, then they are losing money.
Accordingly, It is of critical importance for sellers to optimize their product search rank for popular search terms. Optimizing their search rank can change a product from 0 sales to many sales.
When I worked at Lazada, we always made the bad joke like below:
Question: Where is the best place to hide a dead body?
Answer: Page 10 of Lazada search results.
3. What factors contribute to Lazada search rank algorithm?
Please see the below diagram that introduces the biggest factors impacting Lazada search rank (on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 = least important, 10 = most important).
4. How do I improve my Lazada search rank?
I always try to break down the process of improving Lazada search rank into three distinct steps.
Step 1: Identify the important search terms for your products.
Identifying search terms doesn’t necessarily need to be rocket science but there are some tips that I can give you to help make sure you are focusing your effort on ranking for the most critical keywords.
The best part of this is that Lazada is giving the keywords for you actually in their search recommendations.
To demonstrate this, let’s go back to the example of Lazada seller Basketball King selling basketballs.
To find the best keywords, he should go to lazada.sg (or any of the other Lazada websites because they are all the same technically speaking) and start typing basketball 1 letter at a time.
After typing B, he gets the following recommendations from Lazada system:
Lazada is giving feedback to sellers based on the actual search volume for given keywords in their platform. They are automatically communicating the most searched terms to buyers and sellers.
Use this strategy to identify the top 10-15 keywords that you want your Lazada product listing to be visible in search results for.
Step 2: Optimize your product listings.
Now that you’ve identified which search terms you want to rank for, it is time to improve your listing quality for search rank optimization.
Optimizing your product listings requires multiple steps and it goes back to the above table where I mentioned which factors contributing to Lazada search rank algorithm.
As far as you can control it, these key attributes drive your search rank and you should always be optimizing in a systematic manner:
Product Title – This will always be relevant and has a priority ranking of 9/10 on my scale of importance. You need to make sure that your product title uses as many characters as possible and starts with a good search term and includes as many search terms as feasible.
Example of a good product title:
Step 3: Track your product listing search rank for important search terms.
Tracking your search rank can be a long manual process or you can use tools to help automate it for you. I will go thru both the manual and automated methods here.
Manual method:
Go to Lazada homepage each week at same time
Type in search term
Browse thru results to see where you rank
Add your search rank for all keywords and search terms into a file like below (Date | Rank) – example = Dec 21, 10th
Automated method:
Sign up for SplitDragon.com and connect your Lazada account via seller center sign-in
Enter the search terms you want to track and SplitDragon will automatically provide a report on your search rank and search terms every day
Receive email updates and log into SplitDragon to see the automated lazada search rank tracking results that are run on all your products and search terms each day
Whether you use an automation tool like Split Dragon or track your search rank manually, you should always assume that your first attempt at optimizing your product search rank will not be the best possible title or best possible bullet points.
You should continuously test and iterate different product titles and bullet points to see which results in the best ranking. Optimizing your product is a process that should always continue and evolve.
5. What tools are available to help me improve my search rank?
There are a number of tools available to help with search rank optimization but not all catered to the Lazada platform. I will list my favorites below:
SplitDragon.com Split Dragon is the only tool that connects directly to your Lazada seller software account and pulls your products into their system. It then allows you to input your key search terms for each product. After that, their software will automatically pull your product search rank into an easily understandable report. To help find out
Google Keyword Planner. Google keyword planner is used most frequently for Google Adwords campaigns but you can find some helpful insights in it about the search volume of certain keywords within Google. That can be used as a basic proxy to help you evaluate which keywords to target and include in your product listings.
6. Summary.
Holding your product selection constant, your search rank is probably the single biggest determinant of your sales and profits. All successful marketplace eCommerce sellers in Lazada, Amazon, Taobao, and other sites should be actively monitoring their product search rank for key search terms.
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Bitcoin is 10 years old: Here’s what to expect in the cryptocurrency’s second decade
Bitcoin is 10 years old: Here’s what to expect in the cryptocurrency’s second decade
Oct. 31 marks the 10th birthday of one of the most promising, yet divisive technological advancements of the 21st century: Bitcoin.
In the aftermath of the global financial crisis, the first and most famous cryptocurrency emerged from an underground network of libertarian-leaning cypherpunks. Over the past decade its popularity has soared, but so has the number of its detractors. On the eve of its anniversary, here’s a look back at some of the glorious — and infamous — moments in the short life of the world’s most famous cryptocurrency.
And where it all began:
‘I’ve been working on a new electronic cash system that’s fully peer-to-peer, with no trusted third party’
Satoshi Nakamoto, Oct. 31, 2008, 06:10:00 PM
That was the first email in a series of messages sent by Satoshi Nakamoto, the presumed pseudonym adopted by the creator of bitcoin, in a proposal for a payment system that is completely anonymous running on a decentralized distributed ledger, known as the blockchain.
Today, there are over 2,000 cryptocurrencies, most of which will fail and become worthless, according to Barry Silbert, chief executive officer of the Digital Currency Group, and there are already close to 1,000 dead coins, ones that either failed before launching or have ceased operation, according to a website that tracks such failures.
But the very first digital currency is still going strong, albeit with plenty of ups and downs. Once worth less than 1 cent, a single bitcoin fetched nearly $20,000 in December 2017. Today, one bitcoin
BTCUSD, +3,419.44%
changes hands for about $6,500.
Bitcoin’s 10-year run The early days
After the release of the Bitcoin white paper a decade ago, Satoshi started a chain of emails to a cryptography mailing list, largely made up of cypherpunks — those who promote increased financial privacy — looking to spread and champion computer encryption. The early emails were met with both enthusiasm and skepticism.
“Bitcoin seems to be a very promising idea. I like the idea of basing security on the assumption that the CPU power of honest participants outweighs that of the attacker,” wrote computer programmer Hal Finney in an email exchange with the group.
Read: Here are all the early email exchanges between Satoshi and the cryptographers
It was at least two months before the blockchain and bitcoin experiment got under way with the creation of the Genesis Block, the first 50 bitcoins ever mined.
A note that accompanied the copy of the Genesis Block gave rise to the notion that bitcoin, in part, may have been a response to the financial crisis. “The Times 03/Jan/2009 Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks,” the message said.
However, in an interview with MarketWatch, New York University professor David Yermack, debunked this theory, but did say that the timing definitely contributed to the hype around bitcoin.
The Genesis block
Read: Here’s how much it costs to mine a single bitcoin in your country
But what were people meant to do with these bitcoins once they had been created, or mined?
“I guess the key problem right now is that once you generate coins, there’s nobody to test it with, even for dummy transactions. Is there a plan for a mailing list or some kind of trivial marketplace to give people something to do with their newly minted bitcoins?” wrote Mike Hearn, a software developer and early bitcoin developer in the cryptography email chain.
One year later, his question was answered.
First recorded transaction
While there were a number of early test transactions — the first being a transfer between Satoshi and Finney — the first documented transaction didn’t occur until 2010.
On May 22, 2010, Jacksonville programmer Laszlo Hanyecz, convinced Jeremy Sturdivant to send him two pizzas, and in return, Hanyecz would give him 10,000 bitcoin, which in today’s terms is more than $30 million per pizza. The transaction would become part of crypto folklore and May 22 will always be known as Bitcoin Pizza Day.
Eight years on, bitcoin is traded freely on more than 200 exchanges, with volume dominated by speculators hoping to make a quick buck buying and selling the most liquid cryptocurrency. There are now more than 250,000 on-ledger transactions per day, according to data from Blockchain.com.
Transactions per day, per Blockchain.com
At its peak in late 2017, there were nearly half a million transactions happening each day.
Mt. Gox hack
Four years after the first bitcoin transaction, the industry hit one of its lowest points. In February 2014, Japanese-based cryptocurrency exchange Mt. Gox was hacked, resulting in the loss of more than 800,000 bitcoins. At the time, Mt. Gox was handling more than half of all bitcoin transactions world-wide. The heist was the first big snag in the coming out of the opaque industry.
The Mt. Gox scandal was met with hostility and the company was forced to move its headquarters to its previous offices citing security concerns, the company said at the time.
But what it did do was put bitcoin on the front page of the news.
“I became enthralled in bitcoin when Mt. Gox ‘disappeared’ my bitcoin,” said Tim Draper, founder and director of Draper Associates. “When that happened, I thought bitcoin would collapse, but it didn’t, so I knew it was more important than it seemed on the surface.”
Draper would later become a household name in the crypto industry when he purchased the bitcoins the U.S. Justice Department seized in the Silk Road case. The bitcoins were sold for an average price of just over $300. Draper said he weighed the risk/reward at the time and figured there is a chance they could be worth hundreds or even thousands of dollars at some stage. “At this point, It looks like it will be the former, so I lucked out,” he said.
Read: Former Mt. Gox CEO does not want his billion dollars
Yet, security remains one of the technology’s biggest hurdles.
Limitations and headwinds
The Mt. Gox hack is just one in a number of thefts that has undermined the integrity of digital assets. In 2016, two years after the Mt. Gox fiasco, the Bitfinex exchange was infiltrated resulting in the theft of 120,000 bitcoins. All totaled, some estimate that more than 1 million bitcoins have been stolen.
However, the pressing question for bitcoin evangelists is adoption: Is there a place for it in the financial ecosystem? Right now that answer is not quite yet.
As a payment device, bitcoin can process around five transactions per second, while credit card companies like Visa
V, +4.31%
and Mastercard
MA, +4.74%
can process more than 5,000 per second. As a store of wealth its security flaws, as discussed earlier, mean it is far from becoming digital gold.
But according to Nigel Green, founder and CEO of deVere Group, a U.K. consulting firm, that will change: “There’s an ongoing shift away from fiat money, and the momentum of this is only set to increase over the next 10 years.”
Read: Winklevoss: If you can’t see bitcoin at $320,000, you just lack imagination
On the eve of its 10th birthday, 2018 has unveiled another flaw in bitcoin: volatility. While the trading community lap up the wild price swings, those pushing for mainstream use have had to withstand a collapse in the price of the No. 1 digital currency.
As euphoria was building, highlighted by the introduction of bitcoin futures, bitcoin fell more than 60% from its all-time high on Dec 17, 2017.
Read: What’s more volatile than bitcoin? You may be surprised
What the future holds
Depending on who you ask, the future of bitcoin looks like anything from the next U.S. dollar or digital gold, to a total bust that will be nothing but a footnote in financial textbooks.
As bitcoin proponents push for more complex financial products, most notably a bitcoin-backed exchange-traded fund, or ETF, regulators now play a pivotal role in the advancement of the cryptocurrency and blockchain movement. Lawmakers and regulators are weighing investor protection in an industry that is rife with nefarious characters, yet offers much potential.
Read: These may be the 3 biggest hurdles to a bitcoin ETF
For detractors, bitcoin is just a passing fad. One of the most vocal critics is prominent New York University economics professor, Nouriel Roubini, who has called bitcoin the mother of all bubbles, compared blockchain with a glorified excel spreadsheet and lambasted the crypto community as a bunch of “self-serving white men pretending to be messiahs for the world’s impoverished, marginalized, and unbanked masses.”
Read: Opinion: Roubini calls out the big blockchain lie
However, the nascent product may have received its biggest stamp of approval just weeks before its 10th birthday when financial services giant Fidelity Investments announced it was opening a cryptocurrency trading service for funds and sophisticated investors. Previously, large institutions had largely remained on the sidelines.
But now, coming upon 10 years since the inception of cryptocurrencies, the decentralized technology that began with bitcoin may have started a path where the so-called trusted third parties are mining bitcoin instead of printing money.
“I see bitcoin becoming the most important and most transacted currency in the world, not just for remittances, or cross-border transactions, but for every use currency. It won’t be long before bitcoin eclipses the dollar as the most popular currency,” said Draper.
Read: This is where cryptocurrencies are actually making a difference in the world
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“Why me? Why us?” - Paper 1 & Slaughterhouse Five
Dec. 10th, 2021
Slaughterhouse Five Thoughts
Despite that we briefly looked at the shape of (Vonnegut’s) stories in our context presentations and saw how complex and convoluted the storytelling in his novels were, I was still not prepared for what Slaughterhouse Five was.
Initially, I remember my reluctance to read the book because when I had tried reading it before, I was really young so the non-linear narrative just confused me and I didn’t really understand what was going on or if it was “real”. However, despite having all these prefaces of how non-linear the story would be, I was still caught off guard by how rapidly Billy switched talking about events and how disjointed the connections between the events were. One moment, Billy would be in his living room “present” with his family, but then all of a sudden, he’s back in the middle of the war. Reading this now with more insight and more patience than when I was young, I’m now able to see this non-linear narrative where he’s spastic in time and has no control over where he will go next as a commentary on the effects of war instead of being confused. Billy is being unstuck in time and forced to relive different parts of his life without real control, which is merely just a representation of him constantly re-experiencing certain events due to the PTSD from the war. His mind has created a temporality because of the horrors that he experienced, and these memories hold the power over his conscious thought, to move him through time. Thus, he never lives in the present reality because he is just re-experiencing what he has suffered during the war. Even when he is not consciously in the headspace of the war, he is still unable to enjoy his life because of the suffering and mental trauma. (that is to assume that he enjoyed his life even before the war, which...is debatable). This time-traveling is not “real”, but a psychological effect of the war, which can also be seen as a coping mechanism, such as when he travels to Tralfamadore.
Although I feel sad for Billy because he is damaged and unable to convey or recognize that, while the others around him only deem him as crazy, at the same time, I feel that this detachment from both his life and from the audience to Billy is what makes this interesting as an “anti-war” novel. It doesn’t unnecessarily force the audience to feel bad for the protagonist or over-exaggerate the events that we already know. Instead, it detaches from showing emotion from its characters and sticks to what Vonnegut says at the beginning that, “There’s nothing much to be said about war because it’s senseless”. This way, when we come across events in the book that seem to be so absurd and irrelevant to being war, we’re forced to then come back to the idea that war itself, the people that are unjustified committing war crimes, the hatred and violence separating people, none of it makes sense either. For me, one of the parts that stood out the most was at the end of the novel, when it ends with “Poo-tee-weet” because ?!?!?!?!?!??? You wouldn’t expect such a classic and highly-acclaimed book to end on a made-up onomatopoeia word. But then when I thought about it, I think it was a very fitting way to end the book because what else can you say? All the people are dead after such a massacre and trying to put the horror of war into words seems to be doing it an injustice because it will never be able to describe the extent of the suffering and horror.
Personally, I found it really interesting to read about it from this distant perspective because usual war books go in depth about the atrocities and destruction of the war, however, I think that this book, along with Vonnegut’s documentary shows a more realistic and personal view of what soldiers go through. What’s interesting is that, even for a lot of his own family, they were not aware of the trauma he carried, and had to find out for themselves, similar to how Billy did not and was not able to articulate his trauma to his own family. For Billy, this manifested in his inability to express emotions to his family, which furthered the brokenness of his home and children. For Vonnegut, at least he was able to process this trauma by writing this book, but for a lot of veterans, they do not have the support systems in place to help them, so they just fall into a hole of alcohol or drugs.
Reading Journal
For the reading journal, I read the book all in one or two sittings, which I found out was probably not the best way to approach it for class discussions, because I had forgotten a lot of the book by the time we got to the discussions, so I had to re-read some parts before class to make up for it. However, I think that by reading it all at once, it helped me to make sense of the book because it’s easier to see the connections between the events, especially because the book formatted in such a non-linear way that there almost seems to by no rhyme or reason as to why the events in the book are placed in the positions they are.
Also when taking the notes for the reading journal, I unexpected found a lot of imagery to contrast life and destruction. Due to Vonnegut’s short and direct writing style, I didn’t expect there to be much use of literary devices, or imagery for that matter, because it didn’t feel like he emphasized the tragedy of it. However, because of the journal, I was forced to consider a lot of the actual literary techniques used and their effects, which happened to not just be the imagery, but also things like repetition, irony, metaphors, etc.
Chapter Extract Annotations and Analysis
- Link to Chapter 8 Extract Annotation and Structure
I felt that doing the chapter extract annotations and analysis, although it was a bit time-consuming to have to look over the whole passage, annotate it thoroughly, and having to come up with the structure for it. I think the main difficulty I had was with contemplating whether all the extract structure essay writing practices I’ve had so far were too repetitive, since the theme of war, violence, and the perpetuation of the cycle has been prevalent not just throughout this book, but also since Amichai’s poetry.
This was good practice for us to combine the two things we learned, both the content from the book/our ability to analyze the book, and what we learned already about structuring our essays.
But doing the practice also made me realize that if I get a passage to analyze on the exam, there’s going to be absolutely no time to be able to synthesize, annotate, structure/outline, and write everything during the time span, so I have to really be able to time manage effectively. So...a little bit scared for what’s to come, but at least I feel more comfortable with the idea since we did extract practices in class.
(Some) Socratic Seminar Preparation Notes
I would attach the whole thing (all of my notes) but I can’t resize images, so it would make this post very long, if it’s not already. It was interesting to hear my classmate’s ideas though, because I feel like they took a different stance on a lot of the book’s themes, which provided a different perspective for me. Such as the purpose of the time-traveling. I had mainly read it as a commentary on how Billy and Vonnegut experience their trauma from war, but hearing other people’s ideas on how it should also be read from a “realistic” point of view instead of just disregarding it as something that’s only in his head. I didn’t even consider trying to read about it from this kind of standpoint, and didn’t give too much thought into the fact that maybe the whole thing with the Tralfamadorians and absurdism is more about the fact that we should not take things seriously, and enjoy life as it is in the moment. But before the discussion, I read it more as Billy’s mental trauma.
Although I am not looking forward to writing my Paper 1, because of all the uncertainty that surrounds it, I supposed I have to do so anyways because I am a bug trapped in the amber that is IB Diploma.
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