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darkhymns-fic · 2 years

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Desert Readings

"Friendship fortunes are very popular right now," she told the boy in red.

...But she hadn't thought the boy would keep coming back to get her readings - and always with the same person in mind.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Genis Sage, Fortune Teller Rating: G Word Count: 8494 Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: Written for Colloyd Week 2022, Day 1: Soulmates! So I decided to go back to the origin of this prompt in the game itself, and then it spiraled a bit out of control. Lloyd just really, really likes fortune-telling. (Especially when it's free).

Her fortune-telling business was quite slow today.

Despite the unbearable heat outside, the inside of her tent was cool and dark, with only the dusky glass lamps hanging overhead to shed any light. She took a long breath, seated herself on the plush cushions arranged comfortably on the floor, and decided that it was high time for her break.

Maybe I need a décor change, she mused to herself, even though she had already set up the potted plants in the corners and added some drapes along the sides. There was also the scent of myrrh from her new incense pot, relaxing her shoulders and easing the aches on her feet. She looked to her table, covered in thick cloth, embroidered with the constellations across its surface. Was her crystal ball not selling her skills well enough? I guess the two extra mini-crystal balls next to it makes it look a little tacky…

But few people had been coming by her tent lately, and most who did only asked for sobering things; on the whereabouts of loved ones, or if the Desians might attack today, just as they had the week before…

But at best, she could predict when first love would bloom, or if one’s job prospects were in the stars, or if the oasis will dry up during the scorching heatwave. The Desians were always so hazy in her readings, and there was only so much of the truth that she could reasonably stretch without feeling complete guilt, after all.

She was ready to close shop, perhaps dip her feet in the nearby oasis or shop at the Desert Rose for dinner, when she heard words just outside of her tent flap. They were low, a bit fragmented, but they drifted into her tent with ease.

“Is the fortune teller here? It doesn’t say so on the map…”

“It literally has a sign saying so right there, stupid.”

“Oh.”

Young voices. And they were looking for her? Well, if she had prospective customers, she couldn’t take her break just yet.

Already she was on her feet once the tent flap finally parted. With the lamps overhead, the lighting would deliver just the right amount of shadows over her cheeks, and the glow of her crystal ball would draw in the eye. Her fingers hovered just over the surface as she gave a faint smile towards the front.

“Welcome to the House of Fortune,” she intoned, bowing her head slightly. “What would you like me to divine for you?”

There were two boys that walked through the flap of her tent; one of them was dressed all in red that was so striking, like the reflection of the setting sun in the oasis, the other an elven child, whose eyes scanned along the walls. No red clothing on him, but he had long silver hair, just faintly covering his pointed ears.

“Ah, she’s not here, I guess,” spoke the child. He sighed, all while the boy in red gaped around her place of business like a fish. She would have spoken out further to them, to see if they would actually talk to her instead of just loitering around the place, when that same boy finally noticed her, and rushed forward.

“Hey, can you tell me where Colette – where the Chosen is right now?”

The boy in red… Wait. She had seen him before. Not through her eyes, but through another’s. When someone else had gone into her tent and shyly asked her questions…

“Uh, hello?”

She blinked. It was unlike her to just drift off like that. Even with the strength of her readings, she was usually in complete control…

“Of course,” she said quickly, regaining her composure. “If you want me to divine for you…” She held onto the word before she let reality hit. “It’ll be a hundred Gald.”

The protests were expected, not that she needed a crystal ball to tell her that.

“Seriously?! That’s expensive!”

She frowned. “Did you say something?”

A sputter, then a nervous scratch at his cheek. “Ah, n-no, I…” He shook his head. “I mean, it’s fine! I’ll pay, I’ll pay.”

The elf next to him rolled his eyes. “You know we don’t have that much…”

“Genis, shut up!

With a few mutters, and apparently confused which pocket of his had what he needed, he pulled out a few coins to deposit on the table. Along with some lint. And…a few hammer nails?

“W-wait, those are mine!” He took said nails and put them back in his pocket. The child called Genis tiredly placed a hand over his face.

This boy wasn’t the oddest customer she ever had, but he was close.

But with her payment received, she placed her hands on the crystal ball (also quickly taking the money in case he changed his mind) and closed her eyes. “Yes… I can see her!”

She didn’t have to open her eyes to know the boy in red was watching in anticipation. She could hear the shifting of his boots in the carpet, crunching the fine sand that was powdered over it.

“Really? Is she alright?”

“Right now, she is heading for the oasis, once destroyed by the powerful Efreet in a rage. She walks the sands, intent on her journey.”

Opening her eyes, she could see his face was in complete awe, believing every word. The child next to him held a certain suspicion but was no less interested, asking, “Is that true?”

“There’s no doubt,” she said with a nod. “The Chosen’s companion said so.”

A beat passed. One could almost hear the gears shift in both of their heads.

“What?! So you didn’t predict anything then?” The older boy spoke in such a huffy tone, that she had to stop herself from smirking at the sight. “That’s cheating!”

“You only asked me if I knew where she was,” she said with a shrug. “Information doesn’t come free, and you have what you wanted now, yes?”

“Agh… I guess.”

“Hey, we should go then.” The elf child pulled at the boy’s sleeve. “Or we won’t catch up.”

It wouldn’t be the first time a customer left her tent, feeling somewhat ripped off. But she couldn’t help their feelings. Divination took a toll on her energy, and she saw no reason to expend it uselessly when she already knew the answer to their question.

But as both got ready the leave, the elven child already slipping through the flap, she couldn’t help but…wonder, a bit. The boy in red. Yes, she had seen him before. Once, through the crystal glass when a soft voice asked to his whereabouts. In that reading, no detail had been missed, from the sweep of his hair to those ridiculous ribbons trailing from his collar. And of course, all that outlandish red.

Before he could go, she couldn’t help but call out.

“Is your name Lloyd?”

If just speaking didn’t catch his attention, she knew saying his name would. She watched him stop in mid-step, then shift his boots to face her fully with a wide-eyed stare. But that look was soon replaced with a frown. “You just know my name because of the wanted poster they have in town.” He crossed his arms. “You can’t trick me twice in a row!”

She gave another shrug. He was half-right at least. It was hard to miss the chicken scratch that served as a wanted poster from the Desians. It did capture his likeness in a way…

“But I don’t need a poster to know that you have a dog named Noishe, who’s staying at the stable.” She paused, recalling information from another time. “And that you’ve just been exiled.”

Lloyd’s surprise soon got the best of him, already uncrossing his arms. “Wait… so you really can do all that fortune teller stuff!”

She nodded, wondering why she was compelled to keep talking to him. Maybe this day had been such a bore and she was looking for entertainment any way she could.

“I can, and if you’re still not convinced, I’ll offer you a free friendship fortune.” She placed a hand on her hip, surprised at her own sense of charity. “They’re very popular right now.”

“Friendship fortune?” Lloyd was clearly not too bright, but he stayed interested. He looked at the crystal ball, as if hoping he could see in it as well as she did. “If it won’t take too long, then I guess I’ll give it a try. What is it exactly?”

“It’s simple. You focus your mind on someone, and I will divine what he or she thinks of you. You can do this for a friend of yours, or even a parent.” Still, she would have her limits. “Only one per day.”

“Aw, just one? Hmm…” Lloyd placed a hand on his chin, giving this certain fortune all his brainpower. “I…I think I have someone.”

The fortune teller placed her hands on the crystal ball. “Their name?”

She could already hear it before he spoke, was already focusing on the person before he gave his answer. “Her name is Colette.”

The Chosen – Colette – was bright within her vision. Lloyd had already been thinking of her, must have been thinking of her for a long time. From the tumble of her blonde hair to the stark white of her overcoat. In Lloyd’s mind, she was smiling, her eyes a bright blue.

She was almost overwhelmed by his feelings, but continued to focus. From Lloyd’s mind to Colette, she searched through the girl’s heart to find that boy in red. “She thinks so highly of you and admires your bravery more than most. Her care for you is gentle and if you keep your friendship, the two of you will forge a life-long bond.”

The image faded, letting her take a deep breath. But Lloyd was still staring, eyes flicking back to her and the crystal ball. “She…she does?” He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair, shifting away any stray sand. “Me and Colette are just friends but… I guess she does say I’m cool and all, hehe...”

The boy was grinning, the sight bringing her some familiarity. Yes, she had seen something much like this when…

A voice suddenly shouted from beyond the tent. “Lloyd! What’s taking so long?!”

“Oh, shoot.” Lloyd broke from his daydreams with a flinch, then gave a hasty wave. “Uh, gotta go! But thanks for telling me all that! Is it okay if I can come back and ask for more of those friendship things? If, uh, they’re still free…”

Maybe such a comment should have annoyed her (which it still did) but her curiosity over this boy and the Chosen had her reconsider. Besides, if he was going after the Chosen in her travels, there was little chance he’d come back anyway…

“You can, but only one per day. And just for one person.”

“Just one…” Lloyd thought on it, then gave a firm nod. “Can it also be someone like-”

“Lloyd!”

“Agh! Okay, okay! I’m coming!” After another wave, and a quick, “See you later!” he rushed out of the tent, with only the upturned sand and the wrinkled carpets showing his departure.

Yeah, there was no way she’d see him again. But at least she got a 100 Gald out of it.

One morning, after she had fixed up her tent to be a little more spacious, and changed her myrrh for sandalwood, a loud voice burst through her test flap, nearly making her knock her incense pot to the ground.

“Hey!” shouted Lloyd, apparently having never been taught to use his inside voice. “I’m back!”

“What in the name of Martel is-!” She rounded on him, needing to take a moment to absorb all that red that he still very much wore. “…Lloyd?”

“You remember me! …Oh, I forgot to ask for your name though.”

“D-Don’t worry about it, really.” She took a deep breath to calm her heart, then went to her place behind the table. “I’m guessing you’re here for a friendship fortune?”

Lloyd nodded ecstatically. “Yep! They’re still free, right?”

Doing all she could to not mutter at him for being a cheapskate, she nodded. “But only one.” Then maybe you can pay for a real reading next…

It’d been weeks since she’d seen the boy last. His poster still hung in the plaza, though sand and wind had worn it down slightly. Word traveled of the Chosen journeying all over Sylvarant, and she was sure he had gone after her. Though she hadn’t exactly bothered to divine if he did…

Lloyd looked at the crystal ball with increasing curiosity, still wearing that same bright red that made him stick out in the desert like an out of place tomato. As he stared, she expected him to say a different name this time, for one’s life is full of many people and many feelings. But he didn’t take too much time to think, already the name on his tongue.

“Colette,” he said.

She raised her eyebrow. “You asked for her last time.”

“I-I know!” Lloyd flicked away some specks of sand at his ear. “Am I not allowed to ask for the same person?”

“No, you can, if that’s what you want to do. Are you still looking for her?” She wondered then if he had just been hopping along the dunes for her within the past few weeks.

“Ah, no, she’s in Triet, too. Just, um…” His boots scuffed against the carpet. “Just, it’s been a while since the last time I was here and…I want to know if she still feels that way about me.”

His lovesickness for the Chosen was almost sweet, in a way.

So she went ahead with her reading, hands placed on the crystal. “Focus on her in your mind,” she said. “So I can see what’s in her heart.”

Yet she didn’t even need to tell him. Lloyd was already thinking of Colette, from the moment he had barged into the tent, eager for another fortune. The light of the Chosen’s hair, even the echo of her voice, it was all made clear to the fortune teller from his heart, and from there, it was only natural to see what the girl hid in her own.

“She has a lot of faith in you,” she said. “Your bond grows stronger by the day.”

Bright-eyed as ever, Lloyd clenched his fist and gave a small punch in the air. “Yes! I bet it’s because I’ve been training more…”

“Will that be all?” The fortune teller put on a bored air, even though she did her best to hide away her smirk at Lloyd’s reaction. “If you want, you could know the feelings of everyone in your group.”

“Huh? Oh, oh right!” For a second, she saw him consider it, mumbling to himself as he did so. “I guess I could figure out what Kratos’ deal is…”

But soon after, he shook his head, denying himself the opportunity for another reading (and for her to get paid). “That’s okay. I just really wanted to know about Colette…A lot’s happened since then, and I guess I got a little worried…”

She wasn’t really here to listen to him ramble on, so she tried to move things along. “Well, I can tell you that her feelings for you are particularly very bright. They’re bright enough that they give me a headache.” That, and Lloyd’s earlier shouting hadn’t helped. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“You think so?” asked Lloyd as if she had all the knowledge of the stars – and, in some ways she did. But she wasn’t about to go and give this teenage boy some love advice about his crush!

“I’m sure. Now is there anything else you want?”

“Oh, nah, I’m good.” Another bright grin, he waved to the fortune teller before hightailing it out of the tent, nearly knocking aside a small dresser in his dash. “Thanks again! See ya later!”

There it was. That promise, and with it, her exhaustion. He was going to keep coming back?

She was beginning to very much regret offering these friendship fortunes…

It was obvious that Lloyd and his group had most definitely lingered at Triet those first few weeks, for he visited her each time he could, with always the name of Colette ready on his lips, her image first and foremost in his mind.

Thankfully, it was typically a very quick visit, done so he could be reassured of the Chosen’s feelings, as if the breeze would push it the opposite way. Sometimes she’d see him carrying a bag full of purchased food from the market, trying to sneak in a fortune in the middle of errands. Or, she’d see him panting from the heat, clearly wanting some shade from the sun, but also wanting a fortune told since he happened to be nearby.

“She has a lot of faith still,” she would say, hoping he’d be satisfied. “It grows and grows by the day.”

She breathed a sigh of relief when his visits started to lessen, but only because she knew he had finally left town. Still, once every few weeks, he’d come back again, always out of the blue, and always by himself. Perhaps he made sure no one followed close behind.

It was always sudden, always unexpected. Sometimes there was no rhyme or reason to his visits, for shouldn’t he and the Chosen should have traveled the whole of Sylvarant by now? She wondered if they were going in a big circle, always heading towards the middle of the desert for a strange reason.

One of these times stood out to her most, however. It was when Lloyd, once again, burst into her tent (while she was peacefully munching on her lunch), but he was more panicked this time instead of eager.

“Can I have my friendship fortune?!” he half-shouted, all but narrowly avoiding a collision-course into the overhanging lanterns.

She had to take a minute to gather herself, and to also finish chewing her bite of peppered fish. “Is it-”

“Yes!”

Of course. “Can this wait?”

“But I need to know right now!” Lloyd was hopping on his feet, tense enough that she thought he would spring towards the crystal ball himself if she wasn’t going to do it for him.

“Okay, okay. Just give me a minute and start focusing on her in the meantime.”

“Way ahead of you!” Lloyd answered quickly. Yeah, she could believe that for sure.

So, beyond that initial weirdness, everything was routine. Lloyd concentrated as if his life depended on it, and she was bombarded with more images of the Chosen, though there was a particular image of her eating a meal over a campfire…

“She thinks highly of you,” the fortune teller concluded. “She believes that you always do your best.”

There was a mixture of emotions on Lloyd’s face; at first, he seemed relieved, even happy. His shoulders relaxed and he breathed a small sigh – but then he blinked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at her again. “Wait. Is that better…or worse?”

The fact that he could somehow tell the difference just from what she said was a bit uncanny. “Are you not satisfied with your reading?”

“No, no, it’s just…you said that stuff about her thinking highly of me the first time...”

Or maybe Lloyd just had a very good memory.

“Hm… I suppose it is just slightly,” she answered. “I get the sense that she’s…disappointed? Not enough to waver her care for you, but-”

That had been a mistake to mention. Lloyd’s whine was loud enough to echo inside her tent.

“Damn it! Because I accidentally used bell peppers with the rice today!” Lloyd groaned. “I’m so stupid!”

A question popped into her mind immediately. “…Did you give her food poisoning, or…?”

“What?! No way! Just, bell peppers aren’t her favorite and I forgot to take it out of her dish. And it was my turn to make dinner today...”

She almost couldn’t believe it, but was she really hearing how a meal lessened their bond between each other?

“How do I make her like me again?” Lloyd rushed to the table, as if she was hiding the answers nearby (or in her lunch bowl, where the leftover fish was still sitting). “Is there a way to fix this?”

“Okay, slow down. And don’t lean on this so hard!” She held up a hand to shoo him away from the table. “If the source of her negativity is simply because of your cooking…then why don’t you simply make her food that she would like?”

And just like that, the panic left him. “Really? I can do that!” With that, Lloyd started thinking aloud, muttering out what sounded like a grocery list, counting it out on his fingers. “Some apple slices, maybe peaches for a salad…she really likes strawberries too… Do they even sell those here though…?”

The fortune teller cleared her throat.

Lloyd started, blinking up at her like an owl that did not live anywhere near the desert. “Uh, what is it?”

“If you don’t want any more fortunes, then will you please leave?”

At the very least, he was kind enough to follow on that order. With a few waves and stumbles, Lloyd left the tent so that she could finally go back to her cold lunch. A cold meal all while she lived in the middle of a hot desert…The irony.

And when Lloyd visited the next day, asking for Colette’s feelings again, she reassured him with, “She has high faith in you again, as a person and in your capabilities.”

“Yes! I put my all into that fruit salad!” he said with pride.

She never thought food would be so powerful to affect her own readings…

The next time Lloyd would return to Triet, three months had already passed by.

Sightings of the Desians appeared less and less in the area, though a certain boy’s wanted poster remained pinned on the notice board. Gossip of the Chosen’s Journey of Regeneration traveled far, brought by those on their own pilgrimages, hailing from Asgard, from Izoold, even all the way from Palmacosta. It was said that the Chosen had gone to pray at the seals, and soon, salvation would be at hand.

It was late evening when she heard the rustling of heavy cloth, followed by a soft voice.

“Hey… Are you still doing those fortunes?”

Having been ready to leave, she was surprised when Lloyd poked his head through the tent flap. At this hour, while most would have gone to bed, she’d sometimes get a few curious customers; those who were usually quiet and hurt, those who wanted no one to know they were seeking her help.

It didn’t make sense to see Lloyd go to her like this, when before he’d rush in, unmindful to anyone hearing him shouting from a long distance away.

For most, she would simply turn them away, to come back in the morning, especially if it was another “free” fortune to perform.

But she had never seen the boy – who was still dressed in red, of course – look so lost before.

“I only have time for one.” She gestured him inside. “And close that please. It gets very cold at night here.”

“R-right.” Lloyd pulled the tent flap shut, then walked towards her. He pressed his hand against the back of his neck, rubbed it in even motions. “Sorry, I forgot to say hello before. It’s been a while.”

“It has,” she agreed, then decided to learn what she could. “Are you still traveling with the Chosen?”

“Yeah!” And at that, Lloyd went quiet again, eyes drifting to the sands, as if trying to count every grain that had snuck its way to the carpets atop it. “Yeah…”

It made her uneasy to see him act this way that she almost wished he would loudly ask her for another reading. She had to stand before the table, trying to get his attention once more with a wave. “Picture her in your mind for me.”

Lloyd hesitated, no longer leaping at the chance to think of the Chosen, no longer as eager to hear what she had to say. But he had gone into her tent, so he must have wanted to know, in some way.

She found the Chosen waiting in his heart, blonde hair cascading down her back, and…another strange light that extended from her back. It was hazy, hard to understand, and some part of that light caused a bit of pain. She couldn’t focus on the girl for very long, but she found those feelings before they could whisk away.

“She has so much faith in you. That hasn’t changed. In fact, it has only grown stronger. She knows what you do will be right.”

Yet, instead of being reassured, of being deliriously happy like he had always been on other days, she saw pain flash across his eyes. He gritted his teeth, clenched his hands, looking to the floor.

“But…why would she still think that?” He turned away, spoke more to himself than to her, struggling with what she soon realized to be guilt. “After messing up so much and what she’s going through… and how I didn’t even notice…?”

It was tempting to pry. She could see into his heart if she wanted to, see exactly what had happened on the journey to make him say such things. Perhaps the journey was, in reality, a failure. Maybe the world wouldn’t be saved after all.

But the boy didn’t seem concerned about the world now – only about the Chosen named Colette.

“If she still managed to keep her faith in you,” she said. “Then maybe you should have a little faith in yourself too.”

She wasn’t sure where such words came from. But they felt true to her, at that moment.

Going by his expression, Lloyd hadn’t expected such words from her either. He faced her, the worry in his eyes so plain. She remembered they once had a light to them; the kind that she recognized in many travelers. Those excited to see the world, perhaps even to change it. But…perhaps reality had faded that light in him, just a bit.

He clasped his hand, his thumb brushing against the blue stone affixed there. Exspheres were rare to see on people, especially those as young as he was. Unless they were mercenaries. Or Desians.

“Maybe… but…” He kept looking away, seeing something that she couldn’t. A future she was unable to predict, or a past where so many details had been missed. “Even when I make a mistake?”

She pondered on that. A hand on her chin, showing Lloyd she was giving his question her full attention. “Do you remember when you fed her those bell peppers?”

A flush of embarrassment crossed his face, which, at the very least, brushed away his look of despair. “Y-yeah, but I made sure not to give her those anymore! She’s right, they taste too bitter, and if you don’t cook them enough, they’re tough to chew-”

“Yes, thank you,” she said, holding up her hand. “But that wasn’t my point. You gave her those bell peppers as a mistake, remember?”

Lloyd nodded.

“You fixed your mistake, earning her trust, strengthening her bond with you.” She paused, to let the meaning of her words settle. “Why don’t you just fix whatever new mistake you made?”

She knew it was more complicated than that. This wasn’t another cooking mishap. Instead, it was something that had shaken Lloyd to his core, perhaps his very belief in things. It was always said that the journey of the Chosen is fraught with peril, but maybe that wasn’t limited to the monsters and bandits one would meet along the way…

“I’m not sure I can,” Lloyd said, closing his eyes. “I…I’ve made her go through so much, thinking she could do everything. And already she’s…” He shook his head. “N-never mind. Just. I don’t know what I should do.”

The fortune teller was no advice giver. She only divined what she could, never seeking out further than she needed to. Not everything in this world needed to be known.

Even so, she told him, “It seems she likes what you do already. Maybe all you need to do is to stay by her side.”

Lloyd stared again. It didn’t dispel the worry, not completely, but his eyes weren’t as fatigued as before. “Stay by her…”

By then, she couldn’t resist. She yawned, one hand brought up to her mouth. Lloyd saw and stammered.

“Ah, sorry for keeping you up! I just… couldn’t think of where else to go. I forgot it was late.”

“It’s fine,” she reassured. “Anything for a loyal customer.” Who still doesn’t pay me, she thought, but wisely kept that to herself.

Lloyd looked a bit lighter than before, the first hint of a smile touching his lips. “Thank you. I’ll head off now. We were just staying here for the night, so, I’m not exactly sure when I’ll be back.” He scratched the back of his head. “Huh, I’ve been coming here a lot now that I think of it!”

“You have,” she said. She didn’t plan on saying much besides a farewell, but then more words left her. “Take care of yourself and the Chosen.” She paused. “Of Colette, I mean.”

After all, he had only ever thought of her as Colette every time he came to see her.

“Yeah…” he said, voice soft, thinking again of that girl he so obviously loved. He gave one last smile, still tired but with a bit more hope than before. “Good night.”

Another nod, and Lloyd quickly slipped through the tent flap into the night. She saw the stars peek through, so many of them forming patterns and fates, before they were shut away again once he left her tent completely.

Lloyd was gone for nearly half a year.

There had been whispers about the Chosen and her entourage. They hadn’t been seen in any towns or cities for a long time. There were rumors that bandits had come to slit the Chosen’s throat, or that she had finally succumbed in one of her trials, no longer seen as a worthy savior of the world. There had even been rumors of her own group turning on her, leaving her body to waste away in a forest and steal her precious crystal, the blessing of Cruxis that denoted who she was.

That last one, the fortune teller could not believe. Nothing in Lloyd’s heart ever told her of such a thing. And if she had perished, he would have died along with her.

The most obvious answer was that the Chosen had simply failed. And when the Tower of Salvation vanished from the skies, no longer stretching all the way up to the heavens, it seemed this was so. The world would continue to decline. The few crops they could grow were already struggling, and even the oasis had already lowered by a few inches.

Soon enough, her fortune-telling business was booming.

She had many people then, coming to her for help. They asked her after the disappearance of the tower, after the destruction of Palmacosta half a world away, on what awaited them next.

But the future for her was uncertain, a mist that she could not part through, no matter what. For so many people, she could not offer a clear answer. Nothing, except…how a boy in red was at the center of it all, along with a girl with wings. “They will change our fate,” she would say.

“But how?” her customers would ask.

This, she did not know. But there was one thing she could glean from her divinations at the very least, one thing that she kept to herself.

That she would one day see Lloyd. That he – and the Chosen – weren’t gone at all.

One like her could tell things were different. Fortune telling utilized mana, for all living creatures were filled with it. By manipulating the mana currents, one could see into its travels, finding the answer usually hidden away. From whoever one loved the most, to whether the harvest back in Iselia would flourish. Yet, with the little mana Sylvarant had left, it had been difficult, expending much of her energy to even try to find the simplest of answers.

But then, one day, she felt it. The mana had become more abundant. She didn’t even need to use the crystal ball anymore – already she could divine without it. The stars in the sky completed pictures that she had always felt were half-missing, and the two moons cast the sand dunes in silver. Perhaps the air changed, no longer with scorching heat. In fact, in one such vision, she could see snow blanket the sand, and freeze over the oasis. This, she warned others of, though with a lightness in her step.

She had already known Lloyd would see her on a certain day. It was as easy as shutting her eyes and finding him, traveling through the air on a metal bird, and rushing through the marketplace once he landed.

There was no surprise at all when he arrived at her tent.

“Lloyd,” she called out, before he even fully opened the tent flap. She saw him pause, letting in streaks of sunlight to drape across the carpet, to hit against the glass of her hanging lanterns. “It’s good to see you again.”

“How’d you already know it was me?” he asked. Not much of him had changed; same red outfit, same sweep of brown hair, and he still wore that Exsphere on his hand. But there was something content in his smile then. He looked…older. Just a bit. But it gave him a small air of maturity that had been missing once before.

“I’m a fortune teller, remember?” she said with a wink. “And I know you’ve come seeking my help again.”

Lloyd chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I do that a lot.” A pause. He looked again at his surroundings, eyes landing on the crystal ball she didn’t touch, on the small picture frames she had placed to the side. “It just felt right to come back, you know?”

She nodded. “It’s good to have a place to return to,” she told him. “So, do you want another friendship fortune?”

However, she could already tell the hesitance in his face, even as the one he thought about was so clearly in his mind. Just a second or two until he shook his head. “I probably shouldn’t. I don’t even know who I-”

“Now, that’s a lie.”

Lloyd blinked, raised his head a bit. “Huh?”

The fortune teller smiled. The crystal before her remained dark. But she didn’t need it anymore. “Oh, don’t be so embarrassed. Don’t try to hide your feelings. Someone already likes you.”

Perhaps she was enjoying this a bit much, seeing how the red creeped up his cheeks, how he tried to look away, even when he couldn’t stop smiling.

“She is close to you and is always thinking of you. Her feelings for you are like a delicate flower. Through tender care and love, it could bloom into a beautiful, powerful bond.” A moment, her smile growing wider. “In fact, I think it already has.”

Lloyd’s blush had spread so much, it reached the tip of his ears. He coughed. “W-well… Um, me and Colette have gone through a lot together since I was last here…”

“I know,” she said, then laughed happily. She hadn’t felt this light in ages. “You two are total soulmates!”

“Really?” Lloyd also couldn’t stop his grin, no matter what else could be said. The boy was flying high. “That’s… that’s great!”

She saw him think on something, already guessing to his feelings. “You probably shouldn’t make her wait too long.”

“How’d you know? Wait, that’s a dumb question.” Lloyd, still grinning so goofily that it must have made his cheeks ache, nodded again. “Oh right! I did come here for another reason!”

“Oh?” the fortune teller questioned. She hadn’t considered that.

Lloyd walked up to her, then deposited a small sack of coins on her table, right next to the crystal ball. Was that…money?

“Just all that I felt I owed you for giving me all those fortunes,” he told her. “Um, I kinda forgot how much a regular fortune usually costs? So, I just guessed! But if I’m short, I’ll pay more!”

She held up her hand, wondering at this kid in red. “I already said those fortunes were free.” With that, she then swiftly snatched the coin bag. “But I’ll accept it, as a little bonus.”

“Hehe…” Lloyd grinned again. No longer a full blush, but the tip of his cheeks still held some of that red. “I’m gonna be traveling around for a bit, but when I pass through town, I’ll drop by! Oh, and I’ll bring Colette!” He nodded, excited at the idea. “I think… you only met her once, right?”

It had been on a hot, scorching day, with a pensive voice calling out from the front of her tent. The mana had been weak then, so she hadn’t known right away who it was…

“I have,” she said. “I’d be happy to see her again.”

“…Highly unlikely… Should be moving on…”

“A small visit… It is harmless…”

The voices drifted from the front of her tent, though none came in. Even so, she could sense someone else there – someone whose silence reached out to her, before they finally found their words with a shifting of the tent flap.

“Excuse me, is this where the fortune teller is?”

There were three of them. One was a man with hard-set eyes and lips set firmly, carrying the weight of a sword around his waist. He glanced around her tent, as if suspecting a hidden shadow to jump out from the fringed pillows at any moment. Already she could see that this was not someone who would be open to her fortunes, for his eyes held something far-off, as if reliving a memory, so there was little use for the future at all.

The second was a woman – an elf. She caught a glance at her ears, hidden beneath brilliant silver hair. In her right hand, she carried a staff, topped with a red sphere. Her clothes were a bit of an oddity, her robe oversized for her frame. She also wore thick-soled boots, making deep footprints in the open-sand sections of her floor. Her eyes held something more inquisitive than her male companion, eyeing a certain candelabra that was shoved off to the side. She appeared more interested in examining the insides of the tent instead of seeking any fortune readings herself.

But the person who had spoken to her was a young girl. Her blonde hair tumbled past her shoulders, reaching the middle of her back. She wore an overcoat of white, interlined with blue – and a curious jewel that was fixed in gold bands just above her collarbone.

“It is. Welcome to the House of Fortune,” she said. “What would you like me to divine for you?”

The distrust she felt from the swordsman was immediate. Those eyes became sharp, swiveling to her once she spoke. But the girl in front of her only grew more interested, clasping her hands together, her fingers fidgeting.

“Um, hello! I wanted to ask a few questions if that’s okay.” A shaky giggle left her. “They might be a little silly…”

The fortune teller shook her head. “Every question is fine to ask… as long as one is willing to pay.” A little blunt, but the number of times she’d read out fortunes and her customers would try to weasel out from giving her any Gald was far too many. “It’s 100 Gald a reading.”

The swordsman was already interrupting their transaction, much to her annoyance. “We do not have a high amount of funds to spend frivolously, Chosen.”

“Ah, I know,” spoke the girl, her shoulders lowering in disappointment. “I’m sorry.”

“Admittedly, it is a bit expensive, but can’t we make an exception?” The elf woman turned to face the swordsman, fingers tapping along the wooden handle of her staff. “Gels typically cost more than this anyway. We can afford it.”

“We still must save what we can for the inn tonight before we head for the Triet Ruins.”

The girl in front of her continued to look exceedingly guilty, her head bowed, her clasped hands now lowered. But the fortune teller had heard a particular word that the man had just said. Chosen. Chosen. The strange crystal she wore, and the conversations she had heard around town earlier that day…

Wait…the Chosen?

“You’re…the Chosen of Regeneration!” she said, grabbing everyone’s attention. The girl looked up, the woman turned, and the man stopped in mid-sentence to raise an eyebrow.

She then quickly cleared her throat, realizing how she shouldn’t really be sounding surprised, given her occupation. “I mean… since you’re the Chosen, I can’t charge you, of course! After all, I’ve divined your arrival and knew you would seek my aid.”

“Oh, really? You did?” The Chosen smiled, bouncing on her toes as a smile lit her face. It struck her just how young she was… Younger than she thought the one who would save their world would be.

“Did you not just ask for payment?” The swordsman asked, irking her quickly. Of course he wouldn’t have missed that earlier mistake of hers.

“I was simply explaining the usual payment for my services, should you want a reading. Or for you, miss.” She turned to the elf woman to make clear her meaning. “Only the Chosen will receive her readings for free.”

Hopefully, that was enough to save face (despite the man still looking at her suspiciously). The Chosen seemed to believe her, walking closer to the table.

“I can still pay you. I don’t want to make any trouble for you at all…” The girl again smiled her nervous smile. “I mean, if I wasn’t the Chosen, I would have to pay you anyway, right?”

“Well, yes, that’s right. But, you are the Chosen.” At least, she hoped she was, or she was losing out on her money for nothing.

The girl took a moment to answer. “Yes, I am,” she said, and something about the way she said such words sounded so sad. “Are a few questions okay?”

“You can ask as many as you like,” she reassured, even as her heart ached for the lost Gald she could have had. Well, it was for the sake of the world, after all…

And it had most definitely been more than a few questions. The kind that would run to 1000 Gald on her good days.

Even if she had divined it, she never would have guessed just how interested the girl was in her divinations. She asked all sorts of things; about the health of her grandmother and father, who stayed behind in the Village of Oracles, and if Bunz (a dog) was eating full meals. There were also many other mundane things she had asked; such as if the flowers in her father’s garden had grown in finally, and if the new pastor that was supposed to join the temple by her home was adjusting well. She even asked if the birds that had made their nest within one of the alcoves of that same temple were still alive, if the babies had yet learned how to fly.

When it came to telling fortunes, one can only a focus on a single aspect, or a single person. At least, when it came to her own abilities. A gaze into her crystal, finding a dog, a man, or flower bush all took the same amount of effort. It honestly got a bit tiring.

“Oh, I almost forgot to ask if Noishe is doing okay, too? Is he still scared of monsters?”

“Colette, it’s only been a week.” The elf woman was leaning on her staff, looking just as exhausted as the fortune teller felt. “I doubt Noishe is going to be suddenly brave by then.”

“Ah, you’re right… But, is he okay?”

The fortune teller did all she could to not sigh in front of the Chosen. “I will check…”

Noishe was a particular presence that she could find easily, for the shape of the dog shone so brightly in the Chosen’s mind. (Very bright, actually. She must have really liked dogs…) A green-furred canine walked along a sandy path, certainly not like any dog the fortune teller had ever seen, but she wouldn’t tell the Chosen that.

“Noishe is doing well. It looks like he is going on a walk, though he appears to feel a bit hot and…Oh.” Somehow, she could see other presences with Noishe. The bond must have been quite strong. “He’s with people. Two of them.”

The Chosen clasped her hands, her blue eyes bright with curiosity. “Someone with Noishe… Is… Is one of them Lloyd?”

The way the Chosen said the name was different from before. Suddenly, a burst of color, of red. Warm and inviting like a campfire.

She focused onto the boy who wore so much red, whose hair had a shade of brown that seemed familiar, though the fortune teller couldn’t quite put her finger on it… But Lloyd was walking with Noishe, alongside someone else who must have been a child, as they were two heads shorter than him.

“The one you call Lloyd… He is with Noishe now, and with another friend… There is sadness in his heart, but excitement too. He is also feeling hot…?” She didn’t really understand that certain part of her vision. The Chosen had said these people and dog were from Iselia, yet sometimes, she thought she saw the shape of sand dunes…

“Oh, maybe it’s a really hot day in Iselia? I guess it is summer…” The Chosen looked as if she had something else to say but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“We should be going now.” The swordsman didn’t look nearly as fatigued as the elf woman, though his voice betrayed some of his lack of energy. “Or we will miss our reservation at the inn.”

“Ah, that’s right…” The Chosen fidgeted, then asked, “Maybe one more question?”

How could this girl still have so many questions? But the swordsman simply nodded, though slowly. “One more.”

She wished she had a say in this, since she was doing all the work…

The Chosen turned back to the fortune teller. “Um, sorry, I know this is already a lot…” The apology in her tone felt too sincere to reject, so the fortune teller smiled anyway, trying to not let any frustration show.

“Don’t worry. What is your question then?”

The Chosen fidgeted with her hands once more, then held them together near her chest. “I want to know if…if the world will be saved.”

A question that had been on everyone’s minds lately, and yet, she didn’t expect the Chosen herself to ask it. But she supposed everyone could use some reassurance.

She placed her fingers on the crystal ball, closed her eyes, and searched for the answer. Sometimes, such answers weren’t as set in stone, the future always rife with change. But with this question, that she had been asked hundreds of times, she already knew the answer. The light within her vision was bright.

“Yes, the world will be saved.” She opened her eyes and smiled. “You will save our world, Chosen.”

The Chosen smiled back, but there was…something empty about it, like a tarp covering to shield away the coming rainstorm. Again, something that she couldn’t place. “That’s good then.”

The swordsman shifted, the soft clank of his sword echoing in the room. “Let’s be off.”

Finally. The fortune teller took a deep breath then, never so grateful to see her clients leave. The swordsman went first through the tent flap, followed by the elf woman who was holding back a yawn. The Chosen watched them go before she also went after them, still with that stiff smile, and those clasped hands.

There was something so sad in her, something that one would never expect to see in the savior of the world.

Then the fortune teller remembered something. She called out softly, “Wait, Chosen.”

The girl stopped, turning around with a confused look on her face. “Ah, yes? What is it?”

She had kept back this information from before, for it didn’t seem important. But she recalled how the Chosen had said his name, how bright he had been in the girl’s mind.

“When I divine people… I can sometimes see into their hearts, if their feelings are strong enough. I can see who they cherish. And just now, I felt something very strong from Lloyd.”

The girl remained where she was, though her expression hadn’t changed.

“In his heart, I saw you.” The fortune teller thought back to it, the feelings so clear now. “He is thinking of you. He wants to see you again. In fact…you could even say, you two are soulmates, with how strongly he feels for you.”

Never had she seen someone’s face turn so red before.

“Ah? I.. I don’t… Um…” The Chosen finally unclasped her hands, but only to wave at the air slightly. “But, he should forget about me! He should… forget…”

Even so, there was something so joyous on face, that the fortune teller felt she had made the right decision.

“Um, t-thank you! For telling me. I-I should go now.” The Chosen smiled wide, turned to leave again, and then caught her foot at the edge of the carpet laid out on the sand.

Arms flailing as if to fly, the Chosen fell face-first on the ground, kicking up sand in the air. The force of her fall shook the lights overhead, making the fortune teller wince.

“Colette?” called out someone from beyond the tent. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah! S-sorry, I’ll be right there, Professor!” The Chosen got up to her feet, dusted the sand from her clothes and hair but not fully. With a bit of a frazzled head, she waved goodbye to the fortune teller. “Thank you!” Then quickly left through the tent flap.

After all of her customers had finally gone, the fortune teller sat back on the cushions once more, her feet aching from standing for nearly an hour.

Still, she wondered about that boy in red, held so dearly in the Chosen’s heart.

#tales of symphonia #colloydweek2022 #lloyd irving #colette brunel #colloyd #genis sage #fanfiction #one shot

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sykilik101 · 2 years

Text

Colloyd Week 2022 Day 3: Touch

“This is what it means to become an angel?” Lloyd’s fingers dug into his palms, his fists quivering in frustration. “Not eating anymore, not sleeping anymore, not feeling anything anymore?”

Colette’s smile was so fake, so devoid of the genuine happiness he knew she was capable of. The company of friends, her favorite food, the wag of a dog’s tail; he’d seen her eyes light up at the things she loved, but her lips now were so clinical, maintaining a weak façade when they both knew she’d been exposed.

“But my eyes have actually gotten better. I can see really far away now. And my hearing, too; I can hear even the faintest sounds really well.” The façade broke for a moment, her eyes casting down. “I can hear them so well that…it’s kind of painful sometimes.”

Impulse carried Lloyd’s feet forward a few steps; reflex sent his arms around her, pulling her close. Confusion and helplessness throbbed in his body as knots tightened in his stomach, his anger having evaporated. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what was going on at all.” Wasn’t he supposed to be her protector? Wasn’t he supposed to keep her safe? “I’m sorry.”

“Please don’t tell the others.”

He eased back, swallowing the steadily forming lump in his throat. “Why?”

“Well, I mean, we’re all on this trip together, and I want it to be fun.” Her attempt at levity was betrayed by her sullen voice and a smile that had traded forgery for sadness. “So, I don’t want you to worry about it either, okay?”

The corners of his eyes had already begun to sting, and as he pulled her into him again, blinking only caused his vision to blur. His breaths felt shaky, each one filling his lungs with dread. “You’re so stupid.” He felt so powerless, so weak; his grip on her tightened, hoping to comfort her, but her lack of response was a harsh reminder that she couldn’t feel him at all. He closed his eyes, warm tears sliding down his face.

“I’m sorry, Lloyd.” She hadn’t bothered to try returning the embrace; she stood motionless, as if she were alone, talking to herself. “Even though you’re crying for me, and I’m happy, so happy I wanna cry…but I can’t anymore.” Her voice, so dejected, trickled through his ears and forced a sob from his throat.

Colette did nothing wrong. She didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t fair.

“I’m sorry.”

xxxxx

Lloyd’s eyes eased open, his vision still hazy as he rubbed the sleep away. He wasn’t sure when he’d finally fallen asleep; between the racing thoughts and their accompanying anxiety, he was certain he’d be joining Colette in her insomnia.

The plains of Sylvarant were soothing in the glow of the sun that hadn’t yet risen above the horizon. Morning dew hung off the stalks of grass encircling their campfire; Lloyd took a deep breath, savoring the light chill of the wind and the sound of dirt as he rose to his feet. The journey of regeneration was regularly fraught with danger, but these moments were a welcomed reprieve from their lives being at risk.

The moment was shattered when Colette wasn’t in his immediate field of view.

“Colette?”

His voice came out as a hushed hiss, trying not to disturb his still-sleeping party members. His pulse quickened as his gaze darted every which way in hopes of finding his friend. He turned in place, scouring his nearby environment for any sign of her.

“Lloyd?”

If not for the stillness around him, he’d probably not have caught her voice barely hanging in the air. He spun around once more, his eyes drawn to the movement coming from the large branch of a tree a short jog away. There she sat, waving her hand with a meek smile on her face. Lloyd’s heart began to relax, taking the short trek over to the base of the tree.

“Good morning, Lloyd.”

From below he admired the way her hair, lacking any grooming from a pillow, spilled down her back and shimmered in the infant rays of the sun. Her legs swung back and forth, as carefree and whimsical as the warmth in her greeting. In contrast, the previous night’s conversation still weighed heavy on his heart, his hand forming into a soft fist.

“Were you really up all night?”

Her expression dimmed, diverting her gaze. “I’m sorry for worrying you, Lloyd.” She turned to the sky, resting her palms on her knees. “But y’know what? I spend my nights admiring the stars, and the ground, and everything around us. I get to appreciate this world that we’re working so hard to regenerate, so it’s not all bad.”

Even from the ground, Lloyd could tell that her smile, while somber, was genuine. He had no answer for her, no way to describe the conflict ravaging in his chest. Of course Colette loved this world and wanted to save it; of course she could find the joy where others only saw banality. In a flicker of light she donned her wings, and she hopped off of the branch, gliding her way to the floor.

Silhouetted by the sun, she really did look like an angel.

As her feet touched down, the wings vanished in glimmering wisps. Either out of distraction or her normal clumsiness, she stumbled on the dirt, and Lloyd took the opportunity to catch her hand. Her cheeks turned a sheepish shade of pink, giggling softly to herself. “Thank you, Lloyd.”

Her words were almost lost on him; his focus was instead on her wound. It was hard to tell that she’d ever been injured, having healed much faster than a single night should allow. Perhaps it was help from her angelic powers, but he’d easily choose to have her humanity back over flawless skin that disguised everything she’d been through. His thumb traced along her knuckles, but her body held still, her face unmoving; the lack of feedback was a cruel reminder that such a choice was never his in the first place.

“Lloyd.”

Her voice was a whisper as she gripped his hand. His face went hot, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and biting just hard enough that he wouldn’t draw blood.

She can’t feel what she’s doing.

That fake smile was back, though this was the I want you to be happy variety as opposed to the everything’s fine one she loved showing off. She took his hand in both of hers; her hold was gentle. “I’m okay.”

His insides went hollow, his lungs seemingly unable to hold onto the oxygen he was breathing in. He wanted to choke on air, but she needed his strength, his composure.

He knew she was lying, but…

He gripped her hands, nodding at her. “Okay.”

The truth wouldn’t do him any favors at the moment.

xxxxx

How long had it been since he last heard her voice? A week? Two? He’d lost track at this point.

The rest of the party was fast asleep, leaving Lloyd to toss and turn in his bed. Had Colette felt this same grim frustration the first night after she’d released the second seal? Listening to the soft snores of everyone else, hearing the ambient world and waiting for a sandman that would never visit? He rolled onto his back with a sigh, deciding that trying to force himself to sleep wasn’t worth the headache.

“If giving up my life as a human means that Sylvarant will be reborn, then it’s almost like my life is spreading out to fill the entire world. When I think about it like that, I’m okay.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, his chest tight as he rapped his finger against the mattress. Her eyes had been so melancholy, but so earnest. She’d actually mouthed the words as she traced along his palm; just watching her lips move had almost reminded him of what it was like for her to talk.

He found himself struck by her dedication and commitment; despite the deterioration of her body and senses, she refused to give up on regenerating Sylvarant. While the rest of the group could only watch as she suffered, she tried so hard to keep a smile on her face, to show them that she cared more for finishing the task she was given since her birth. Even now, she was likely sitting awake in the darkness, thinking about how this was the final night of their journey.

And she was alone.

He sat up, his nose flaring as he hopped from his bed. He knew tomorrow would be important, and that he’d need his rest, but guilt and frustration took hold of his body. As quietly as possible he dressed himself, slinking through the room and out the front door of the inn.

The frigid wind nipped at his skin, rubbing his hands over his arms as he scoured around for Colette. A loose wooden gate softly creaked, but the rest of his surroundings were quiet. The horizon before him was pitch black; with no moon that night, the height of the mountain made him imagine, for a moment, that the rest of the world had vanished in a blanket of emptiness.

Is this what a world without regeneration would be like? A world without a Chosen?

A world without Colette?

The notion chilled him deeper than the air around him. He grimaced, giving his head a gentle shake; saving the world was pointless if she wasn’t there to be part of it.

He trekked up the pathway leading to the peak of the mountain, careful not to misstep on gravel or jagged rocks. It occurred to him that Colette, with her wings, wouldn’t have even needed to do any walking to get to the top. He smiled wryly; they’d have kept her from slipping and falling, another form of stripping away part of who she was.

When he finally caught sight of her, he’d just assumed she’d be aware of him right away. He had no litmus for just how strong her hearing was, but footsteps on dirt couldn’t be hard to miss even for someone with normal ears. However, she simply stood facing the Tower of Salvation, but with a squint of his eyes, he’d swear her mouth was moving.

“Colette?”

Her lips froze, swiveling on her feet to face him. The flicker of shock was replaced with a confused smile and fingers that didn’t seem to fit together properly. Moving closer, a flush of red had painted her cheeks; whatever she was up to, being caught clearly hadn’t been part of her plan. With less than a foot separating them, he held his palm out to her.

“What are you doing up here? Were you…talking?”

Her mouth flew open, but almost immediately snapped shut, her jaw tensing. She softly shook her head, though he couldn’t tell if she was answering him or if there was a thought that she was trying to silence. She took his hand in hers, planting her free index finger in his palm but hesitating. He watched her swallow, but found a solace in her face showing humiliation more than discomfort.

When a girl’s life was being ripped away from her, embarrassment was a welcomed attachment to humanity.

I was trying to see if I could get my voice to work one more time.

“Did it work?”

She shook her head once more. I wanted to surprise you tomorrow. I wanted to thank you for joining me on this journey, with my own voice.

His chest tightened, that familiar warmth building along the bottoms of his eyes. “You dork, I…” He squeezed them shut to match his throat; he was supposed to be strong for her, not a failure of moral support. The knots in his stomach grazed his lungs, but he took a breath to undo them and forced the words out. “When you’re an angel, I’m sure you’ll get your voice back. Then you can thank me as many times as you want.”

Her gaze went soft, a sobering smile joining her small nod. Even as his heart tried to believe what his mind was saying, a nascent pessimism ate away at him. Why was this part of the regeneration process? Why did the Chosen have to suffer so much, and have to sacrifice themselves to save the world?

Was there really no other way?

His fingers encircled her wrist, his index finger drawn to her palm. Her lips narrowly parted, her head cocking to the side as she watched him trace along her hand.

I want to hear your voice.

A breeze enveloped them as Colette’s body began to glimmer, and in a flash, her wings materialized, shades of violet and magenta splashing across the ground. Her hands fell to her sides, balling into fists that shook almost imperceptibly.

“Colette, what-”

Her mouth shot open, but all that came out was a strained gasp. She inhaled, then leaned forward, and he watched the muscles in her throat tense, holding that tension before relaxing. Desperation flooded her eyes, her teeth clenching before she tried once more. Over and over, she thrust a soundless scream into the night sky, but only her eventual pants and nose flares disturbed the silence.

He knew those eyes. Months ago, if she’d shown him those eyes, it would have meant tears were soon to follow. She’d have been sobbing, and a series of hiccups would’ve blended with the sobs to make her responses impossible to understand. He’d have planted a hand in her hair, talking her down while she trembled against him. She’d have been the normal Colette he knew to care for and protect, always within arm’s reach where he could keep her safe.

And yet, now it was his cheeks that were stained by teardrops, sliding down to his chin where they slowly, inevitably, fell to the dirt.

He clenched his jaw, sniffling but keeping his eyes on her. His breaths came and went in shudders as he reached down and took her hand once again. He didn’t trust his voice to stay perfect, but more than that, he wanted to share her anguish. She needed to know that she wasn’t alone, that he didn’t think less of her for a lack of a voice; if anything, her final, futile attempts meant more to him than she could know.

I want you to feel me.

He practically carved the words into her flesh; he willed his finger to brand her palm, to sear so deeply that she could feel even something as undesirable as pain. His mind reeled at the thought; the already cold wind practically slapped his cheek as it chilled the wet streaks on his face. He gripped her hand, holding onto the only anchor he had left at the moment.

Colette’s smile had turned soft, a guilty understanding tinting her eyes as she took her turn to etch into his hand.

Even if I can’t feel you, I’m still able to touch you like this. That makes me happ-

He’d already pulled her body against his before she could finish her sentence. Her face was buried in his neck, and he felt her breath warm his skin. She felt so small; one arm wrapped itself around her back, while his free hand held the back of her head. She inhaled and exhaled against him, and in spite of everything she was going through, the silver lining of her being alive added a revitalizing splash of color to his dull, muted thoughts.

He didn’t know what would happen to her once she became an angel, but if she remained like this for the rest of her life, he’d be her touch. Pain, smoothness, roughness, hot, cold; he’d dedicate his nerve endings to her for as long as he could.

He wouldn’t let her feel alone. He wouldn’t let her feel like she didn’t belong.

xxxxx

“Genis, this isn’t a field trip.”

The excitement and musings of the others was quickly lost on Lloyd. Even the novel rush of flight had diminished, though he was willing to blame the brevity of it combined with the Rheairds now strewn along the mountaintop, plumes of smoke escaping them. At present, his focus was solely on Colette.

“The Chosen is now a lethal weapon whose only goal is self-preservation. We wouldn’t dare lay a hand on her.”

She’d turned to face the Tower of Salvation, her body still, her eyes a deep red. It was unsettling to look at her; the same blonde hair, the same white outfit, but it wasn’t Colette. The jubilance and zest that he expected out of her was gone; even now, were he to offer his palm to her, she wouldn’t trace along his gloved hand.

Or would she? Would she remember?

It only took a step to be in arm’s reach of her, but his foot against the dirt was enough to catch her attention. She turned to face him, and he flinched at the soulless gaze in her eyes. He wasn’t there, there was no mountain, nor a sky. She saw nothing, and nothing mattered to her. Lloyd swallowed, inching his hand out to her.

Colette’s wings wafted into existence, her expression unchanging. His hand halted, and though she hadn’t taken an aggressive stance, the air around her was hostile. His outstretched fingers curled into a fist, letting it fall to his side. Wherever her heart and soul were, they weren’t in a place he could reach or touch, not anymore.

He took in a slow, quiet breath before chewing on his lip. He turned his gaze to the sky, fingers digging deeper into his hand.

For now.

Cruxis was in the wrong. Kratos was no longer on their side. Tethe’alla was their only hope for saving Colette and the worlds. It all seemed so larger than life, so impossible. And yet, as he glanced over at the Tower of Salvation, optimism bloomed inside of him. Maybe it was the excitement of a new world to explore, but he wanted to believe that somewhere in Tethe’alla, there existed a way to give Colette her soul back.

And no matter what, he would find it.

xxxxx

“Colette, is everything else back to normal? Besides your voice, can you feel things and such?”

“Yup, I think I’m okay. Thanks everyone, and I’m sorry I made all of you worry so much.”

It almost felt too good to be true. It wasn’t too good to be true, was it?

The party slowly descended the rocky pathway of Fooji Mountains, their atmosphere very different from the first trip down. While Presea was still unemotional, Genis and Sheena hardly contained their smiles, and Zelos could be heard humming a small tune to himself. Even Raine had allowed the corner of her mouth to curl, a pep in her step that she usually reserved for the discovery of new ruins.

And every time Colette made a “whoa” or “oh” from nearly falling over, their signs of elation were exacerbated.

As Lloyd turned back and watched her scan the pathway for loose rubble, watched the way she held her hands up in case she fell, a sense of awe buzzed through his body. Oxygen had a sudden sweetness that he’d never tasted before, and the sun felt so warm, and even the blue of the sky matched her irises. Golden tresses framed her face, her body fluid and…alive.

She’s really back.

Her foot settled on a protruding boulder, hesitation flooding her eyes. “Don’t fall, don’t fall.” She pressed her fingers into the mountainside, her free leg inching down towards the next step of the path. Lloyd’s heart fluttered and he held his hand out to her.

“Need any help?”

She offered him both her gaze and a gentle giggle. “It’s okay, I’m fi-”

Lloyd wasn’t a psychic, but when her eyes had closed in laughter and she’d still tried lowering herself down, he was already prepared for her fall. A tiny yelp escaped her lips as she briefly sailed through the air before landing in his waiting arms. They stumbled back, just a step, before Lloyd anchored himself down and held them safely in place.

His hand pressed into her lower back, and she arched in response. When his free hand touched the back of her head, he remembered embracing her in this exact same way at Hima, only this time her shoulders shivered at his touch. Her breaths slowly began to match his; he pulled her in closer, tighter, and was rewarded with a small noise. All of these little responses, all of these trademark signs of Colette, almost made him forget she’d ever lost her soul, and the butterflies in his stomach threatened to spill out into the rest of his body.

“You can really feel this, right?”

The tip of her nose pressed into his neck; he was sure she could sense his throat tremble as he spoke. All the usual missing pieces of humanity had returned, but this, he needed to know for certain.

She nodded.

His stomach hitched, a joyous tingle coursing through every fiber of his being. He eased himself back, taking in the red streak along her face and the way her lower lip hid behind her teeth. She was here. She could talk, and eat, and sleep, and pet all the dogs in the world, and feel-

He wrapped his fingers around hers, eyeing the tip of her index finger. She didn’t need that to talk anymore, and he felt his heart grow several sizes in his chest. His thumb traveled over her knuckles, giving it an affectionate squeeze that she, momentarily but lovingly, returned.

“How about you hold my hand on the way down? I’ll make sure you don’t fall.”

Colette tucked her hair behind her ear, beaming at him. “Thank you, Lloyd.”

She could’ve simply glided over the terrain, or just outright flown down to the base. However, he needed this, and maybe she did, too. With every unsteady step, her hand tightened around his, and he returned the gesture with a skipped heartbeat to match. All the hoping, all the wishing and pleading, all that he’d done for the sake of bringing Colette back to him had finally worked, and he was determined to not only make sure she never lost herself again, but to make up for what she’d missed in the past few months.

He wanted to remind her what touch felt like.

He wanted to remind himself what her touch felt like.

#Colloyd #Colloydweek #Colloydweek2022 #Lloyd Irving #Colette Brunel #Tales of Symphonia #Tales of series #Fanfiction #Fanfic

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umbry-fic · 2 years

Text

Promises

Summary: After the events on Mount Fooji, Lloyd notices that Colette is acting a little strange.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Rating: T Word Count: 3745 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 11/06/2022

Notes+Warnings: Written for Colloyd Week Day 3: Touch. I took the prompt of Touch very literally. This is a very, very self-indulgent fic about non-sexual intimacy, though we take a while to get there. (I like to headcanon Colette as having pretty high sensual attraction that goes absolutely haywire once she regains her senses so yeah.)

~~~

It didn’t take long for Lloyd to notice that something was off. Perhaps he’d already been on the lookout for signs that something was wrong, that Colette was hiding something, after spending so many weeks worrying over her.

Passing countless nights without the comfort of dreams, attempting to puzzle out the reason behind her strange behaviour; concealing her secret, weighing on his heart with the heavy burden of guilt; watching over her lifeless body, her soul locked away within red, empty eyes, ensuring she came to no harm and praying for her return, doing everything within his power to bring back her smile.

With her soul now set free, Colette had quickly returned to her old self. At least, it seemed so at first. Constantly moving around, grateful that she could as she wanted now, able to wiggle her fingers of her own volition. Chatting up a storm with everyone, especially their new companions, wanting to get to know them and forge a closer bond. That familiar bright smile gracing her face, holding so much genuine joy. Joy from being able to taste the food sitting on her tongue, savour the heat spreading from the stew she spooned into her mouth, feel the cold of the raindrops pelting against her skin as she raised her face to the sky. Never failing to chase away whatever clouds darkened his day, letting rays of hope through that strengthened his drive. To keep moving forward, to keep fighting. For a better world, where she would no longer be burdened with the hopes of a dying world, resting on her fragile shoulders.

Yet, he couldn’t help but notice that she was avoiding him. All the subtle things no longer went unnoticed, unlike when he’d been far more ignorant, taking her hand without ever knowing what went on behind her blue eyes.

There was a chasm between them now, widening with each day until it was so gapingly large that he could barely see her on the other side. Ever since that day on Mount Fooji, when they’d met each other in the middle of the summit with a tearful embrace as he held her tight, simply muttering her name over and over, the sweet sound of her voice in his ear filling his heart.

Since then, she hadn’t approached him. Not once. He would catch her hovering at the corner of his vision, never coming any closer, her hands clenching and unclenching, as if trying to grasp something he couldn’t see. Whenever he turned around to inquire, she would all of a sudden be wrapped up in something else, leaving him no room to speak. But even when she was caught like a deer in headlights, he couldn't find it in him to ask her what was wrong. Not when she averted her gaze, wringing her hands, something almost akin to guilt flitting across her face.

At dinner, she invited others to fill the spots next to her, whether it be Genis or Zelos or Sheena, striking up raucous conversations that he didn’t have the heart to interrupt. Not when they were filled with wild and excited gesturing, winding down unforeseen paths.

Perhaps space was what she needed. That was what he’d told himself, standing by the campfire, plate in hand and watching the orange light of the flames shimmer on her hair, before taking a seat somewhere else. Tamping down the urge to reach out and hold her close, swallowing down emotions he didn’t even know how to put into words.

To have witnessed the light leave her eyes at the Tower of Salvation had been horrifying enough, the illusion of a perfect, happy world shattering, the shards wickedly sharp and slicing through his heart. But to have experienced it firsthand - that helplessness, the ice-cold prison slowly closing over her heart, bearing it all with a smile only to learn that everything had been an elaborate lie used to manipulate her… How harrowing that must have been for Colette. Maybe staying away was the right choice.

But he couldn’t, not anymore. Couldn’t stand still and say nothing, do nothing. So many years had been spent accepting her fake smiles, letting her false laughter wash all of his suspicions away, falling for her masterful act and never questioning the tears she wiped away when he came up behind her. Never reaching far enough to pull aside the veil that hid the crying girl, suffering all alone, unwilling to burden others. Too scared to look closer and discover the ugly truth, even though he’d told her he would always protect her. Just another broken vow, added to an endless pile whose weight he could acutely feel.

He’d made a promise to himself, on that starry night as he’d held her trembling body close, bitter tears falling from his eyes, knowing full well she could no longer feel his embrace.

There would be no more running away. He wouldn’t let her suffer alone, ever again.

Even if she wasn't ready to talk, he could, at the very least, remind her that he was here for her. That he would make good on his promises now.

Sometimes, that was all one could do. She was the one who had taught him that, with the kind touch of her hand, gently brushing away his tears as she told him things would be alright, even after she’d run out of words. Continuing to trace out “I love you” tenderly in his palm, long after he thought he no longer deserved it.

~~~

He made his move at dinnertime, not planning to waste even a single night. They’d stopped at a local inn, prepared to relax with the luxury of actual beds and four walls to protect them from the storm raging outside, making branches scratch against the windows like nails. Nothing compared to the silky smoothness of the sheets in Meltokio, a heavenly sensation he didn’t think he’d ever forget. But it was still infinitely better than sleeping bags, where one could feel the rugged rocks digging into their shoulder blades, and the wind proved to be a jealous lover, never releasing one from its bitingly cold embrace.

Ignoring the delicious smell of stew that made his stomach rumble, he walked right past the saliva-inducing plates set on the counter, steam venting off the top, and slid into place next to Colette before she could do anything.

She froze, stiff as a statue, gaze pointedly fixed on the worn wood of the table. Across the room, Genis gave him a nod and an encouraging smile.

Taking her hand, he paused, his thumb rubbing circles into her palm. When was the last time he’d held her hand, and not found it cold and slack, Colette staring off into space without a hint of recognition in those eyes, red as blood?

Now it was warm, and jumped slightly in shock, reminding him of days they’d spent doing nothing in particular, hands linked together under the blue summer sky.

A small sound grabbed his attention. Colette’s fingers curled tight over his, a small flush beginning to overtake her cheeks, even as she continued to avoid his gaze. Planting the smallest seed of an idea in his mind.

Meet me tonight.

He traced the letters on the back of her hand with a steady finger, the weeks of practice he had guiding his movements. The message having been sent out, like a paper boat onto the river on a rainy day to float to unknown destinations, there was nothing left to do now but wait. Watching her silent struggle, not a single word falling from her lips as she bit down on it hard enough to draw blood.

After a completely silent dinner where he barely tasted anything shovelled into his mouth, nervousness brewing in his stomach, her hand never leaving his, he finally got his response.

A little squeeze of her hand and a subtle nod, her hair falling forward to shield her face from view.

Relieved, he smiled, squeezing back.

“I’ll see you then.”

~~~

His fingers tapped endlessly against the desk at which he sat, chin resting on his hand as his gaze kept glued to the clock on the wall. The hands continued to shift, the constant ticking piercing his ears and getting louder with each passing second.

It was quickly approaching eleven at night, the window showing a world of darkness outside, so dense that nothing could breach it. Was she going to come? He couldn’t help but repeat that question to himself, even though he had the utmost faith in her. To find the immense well of courage she had within her, always present even when she didn’t believe in herself. The strongest person he knew, with an unbreakable spirit.

A sudden knock interrupted the monotony, leading him to jump to his feet and run to the door, throwing it open to reveal the girl he’d been waiting for.

“Hi,” Colette whispered, gaze downcast as she made her way in, slumping on the bed with a carefully blank expression, hands clasped in her lap. He took a seat next to her, sinking into the mattress. A tense bubble of silence fell upon them, stretching on as he hesitated about his next step.

Exhaling, he let his hand inch across the space between them, as if approaching a scared animal, bridging the gap between them while ready to retract at any second. But she said nothing, only sighing as he took her hand.

“It’s been a while since it was just the two of us,” he muttered, his thumb ghosting over her knuckles. Hoping that, even if he wasn’t skilled enough with words to untangle the knot of emotions within him and express it in its entirety, he could do it through other means. Shivers wracked her from the small contact alone, solidifying the suspicions that had sprouted in his mind over the long hours spent waiting.

“Sorry for avoiding you.” Her mask dropped, like a dam shattering under far too much pressure. Revealing guilt, flooding her face as she shrunk further into herself. “I suppose I haven’t been very discreet…”

“It’s fine. Really,” he reassured her gently, not wanting her to be shackled down with ever more regret. “You don’t have to apologize. But if you wanted to hold my hand, you could have just asked, you know. It’s not some major request or anything.”

Flames crackled in the fireplace, throwing up embers and dancing to a tune only they knew. Casting warm light onto the girl who held his heart, illuminating what seemed to be the beginnings of a blush.

“S - sorry.” She was definitely blushing now, bowing her head, hand gripping her elbow and wrinkling the fabric bunched between her fingers. “It’s such a silly thing, isn’t it? I didn’t think it was worth bothering you over.”

“It’s not silly. Nothing that means so much to you is silly,” he protested, as her fingers finally began to move - her turn to explore the surface of his hand, each rub of her thumb so tender that it took his breath away. Tracing the scars and calluses that she must have memorized long ago, on sleepy days in the schoolhouse spent playing with the ends of the newest bandage wrapped around his finger, before teasingly rapping her knuckles against his forehead and giggling as his eyes fluttered open, ending his nap. The first thing he saw upon waking up being her smiling visage, like that of a goddess that had descended from heaven, groggily wondering if he was still dreaming.

The memory of which had been obscured by the fog of her angel transformation, fading away to be forgotten.

She hadn’t known anyone’s touch in so long. It made sense that she’d be craving it, with all of her being. Yet, as always, she held herself back. Always following behind someone’s back meekly with her mouth kept firmly shut, never reaching out for what she wanted.

“It’s just…” Her hand slipped away, curling into fists in her lap, trembling. “They always told me it was wrong. To want things, to ask for things. That it was selfish.”

By “they”, she must have meant the priests. Stamping into her the idea that she shouldn’t be a normal girl, with desires and hopes and dreams. That to do so would mean endangering the fate of the world, leaving her to be condemned by all as an utter failure. Silent rage burned within him, as he wondered just how much had been taken from her, how many scars had been left on her heart. All of it happening right under his nose.

“You know you shouldn’t -”

“Heed those words?” She cut off his incensed voice, shaking her head, and turned to face him with a sad smile. “I know. I’m not the Chosen anymore, and those words don’t apply any longer. It’s just… hard. To let them go.”

Cupping her face with a hand, he heard her suck in a breath, leaning into his touch as if he would disappear at any moment, leaving her alone. “It’s alright, to want things,” he whispered, leaning closer and brushing his lips against her cheek. “To ask for things.”

“So…” Aligning his palm with hers, he pressed their foreheads together, sighing. “What is it that you want?”

The least he could do tonight was give her the chance to be selfish, for when had she ever been afforded it? Hoping that one day, she could learn to ask on her own.

Pulling away, chest heaving, she reached out a hand to tug at the hem of his shirt. Eyes shining, cheeks burning harder than even the flames, awkwardly stumbling over the words she uttered in a trembling voice, every one of them carrying a yearning that tugged at his heart. Testing the boundaries, ready to take a plunge. “I... I want… To remember what it feels like, to touch you. To know you’re still here...”

A simple request, yet one that set his heart pounding away, lips parting as the gravity of it all hit him.

“I’m sorry. That’s too much, isn’t it?” she muttered, averting her gaze in shame. “Even if we’re… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He’d never been more sure of anything, saying those words without a waver in his voice, not a single drop of hesitation in his heart. He understood. Her desire to be close, so close that perhaps they would merge into one, never having to fear being separated again. To carve the sensations of their embrace so deep into the surface of their hearts that it could never be forgotten.

That would never be possible. But, for just a few moments, it could be reality.

She watched, wordless, eyes wide as he swiftly pulled off his shirt, the fabric rustling to the ground to land in a pile. Shivering as air brushed his bare skin, wondering what it was that she saw as she stared at him.

“Lloyd…”

He couldn’t help the gasp that left him when she pressed her hand to his chest, the sudden warmth of her palm like a bolt of lightning striking his body, sending sparks running down every nerve. She stared up at him, blue eyes filled with a warm love that spread to him through her touch, leaving him ablaze.

Had she been this close before, the space between them barely existent as they fell into each other? Not since they were children, hugging without a care in the world, falling asleep together after sleepovers. The chasm he’d observed between them had been there for a long time - ever since he’d confessed his feelings, kissing her on the cheek, only to find her suddenly so far away, from a different world altogether. As Colette had distanced herself, already knowing what fate awaited her, wanting to spare him the pain of knowing she would never return.

Yet here she was now, closing the gap between them, unfurling her vulnerable heart and entrusting it in his hands. Her fingers danced across his skin with gentle care, making his breath hitch. Carefully exploring, as if she was crafting a detailed map of him, memorizing every inch of skin her fingers brushed against, painting the most beautiful of drawings with the most intricate of patterns, one that only she could decipher. Being especially careful with the raised scars on his skin, whether from unfortunate mishaps during training or monster encounters that had gone sideways, her touch lingering and not shying away.

Treating him like the most precious, beautiful treasure in the world, even though he’d never thought of himself as anything more than average. Her fingertips drifting, feather-light, down his side, leaving behind a trail of warmth in its wake. Reshaping him, putting him back together as he melted under her touch, knowing he was safe. Her cheeks flushed like she was drunk, the light of the flames bathing over her - a beautiful sight instantly seared into his memory, his heart overflowing.

Feeling like he was stuck in a trance, his own hand lifted, sliding up her arm to her shoulder to play with her hair, tumbling down her back like a waterfall, making her let out a sigh that echoed in his ears. The world narrowing to just her, so ethereal and lovely. A moment in time, just for the two of them, that seemed unreal, straight out of a dream - yet she was solid beneath his fingertips, not slipping away.

The splash of something cold and wet against his arm made him pause.

“Colette?” he gasped, shocked at the sight of the tears streaming down her face, whatever emotion she’d been desperately hiding now rearing its ugly head, having pushed free of its restraints.

“What…?” she trailed off with a shaky voice, trembling hands returning to her face to find it wet. “Oh,” she realised, falling silent.

“Did I… do something wrong?” He shifted backwards, fear snaking its way around his heart. Had he once again failed to glean what lurked under the surface? Had he pushed too far, accidentally hurting her? Should he…

“No!” With a desperate outburst, as if her heart would crack apart into two, she threw herself across the bed and into his arms, having raised instinctively to catch her. “Don’t go,” she pleaded, somehow having read his mind. Burying her face in his neck, she wrapped her arm around his midriff, her tears wetting his skin. “Please, don’t go.”

Cautiously, he lifted his arms to her shoulders, holding her close, uncertain if it truly was alright to remain. But she didn’t seem to want to leave, only holding him tighter as her sobbing intensified.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, stroking her hair.

“Sorry -”

“Don’t apologise,” he chided her softly, waiting. For as long as would be needed.

“I - It’s stupid,” she replied, muffled against him. “I’m so happy. But at the same time, I’m so afraid. That I’ll lose all of this again.”

Ah.

“I told myself I could never possibly forget the feeling of your hand in mine.” She turned to rest her cheek against him, eyes still firmly shut. “And yet, no matter how hard I tried, the memory faded so quickly.”

It’s always the happiest of memories that leave first, aren’t they?

She’d had everything slowly, cruelly ripped away from her, something that even years of preparation had not steeled her heart for. And now that she had experienced that pain, permanently branded onto her soul with a red-hot seal, she was hesitant to reach for what she desired, spending every second wondering if it would be stolen from under her fingertips again. Powerless to do anything to stop it.

“It’s not stupid,” he insisted once more, trying to push all his feelings into his voice. His wish to see her happy. “You went through what no one should have. Anyone would understand your fear.”

He tightened his hold on her shoulders, pulling away to look down upon her. The gentle light of the fireplace made her eyes shimmer like the brightest stars in the night sky.

“And I’ll make sure that never happens,” he said, lifting her hand. She stared, unmoving, lips parted. “Even if it does, I’ll make sure you return to us again. Just as I did before. I’ll do it again, as many times as needed. So there’s no need to worry.”

“Lloyd…”

Lifting her hand, he brushed his lips against her knuckles. “I promise,” he whispered against her skin as he pressed another kiss against her wrist, and then the inside of her arm, each eliciting a breathy whimper until he pressed his final one against her shoulder, his fingers tracing the same words against her palm.

A promise uttered a dozen times, to join all the rest he’d made to her, written on her skin when he couldn’t sleep and came to keep her soulless body company. Hopes, dreams, promises. All of which he intended to keep, to fight for with all that he had, no matter what awaited him in the future.

They lapsed into silence, her back resting against his front, his chin resting on her shoulder as they gently rocked back and forth. The warmth of the flames and each other keeping their hearts safe, her tears trickling to a stop as he brushed the final ones away.

“Lloyd?” she asked, angling her head to look up at him as she squeezed his hand. “Can I… stay here tonight? Just for tonight, if it’s not too much to -”

“It’s not,” he laughed, kissing her on the top of the head and letting her giggles fill his heart and make it soar. “Of course you can stay. Tonight, and as many nights as you want.”

And just like those sleepovers from a time long past, they settled down, still fitting together perfectly, Colette warm and safely tucked into his arms with the blanket pulled over the top of them.

Wishing her sweet dreams, he watched her drift off into dreamland, smiling all the while. One hand moving from playing with her hair to gently rubbing her cheek. What a beautiful sight her smile was - he hoped he’d get to see it again, every day and every night. A sight that would certainly be enough to usher in the most wonderful of dreams, as he drifted off himself, his arms wrapped securely around her.

Ready to face another day, one that would be filled with hope.

#fanfiction #one shot #colloydweek2022 #day 3: touch #tales of symphonia #colette brunel #lloyd irving #colloyd

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