Umm… so what’s the subby murder bot book that 80 people are trying to read?

I'm tearing my own hair out in frustration, I tell you. I don't know if any of my holds are any good bc I can't READ THEM YET!!!

If anyone is looking for romance novels to read, I've found r/RomanceBooks and their Book Request tag to be very helpful as far as mainstream cishet recs. I scroll through the book requests until I see someone asking for a book that sounds like something I'd enjoy, and then check the comments. If I see a book linked that sounds interesting, I check out the free preview and then place a hold at the library if it's available (or request an inter-library loan if not). Their romance bot unfortunately provides links to goodreads rather than storygraph or similar, so if you are trying to avoid Amazon affiliates be advised.

The book that started me on this trend was found on this thread, and it was For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale. Basic premise is a medieval knight that has essentially taken a vow of celibacy has to escort a princess caught up in intrigue to her castle. The author actually has a good grasp on medieval worldbuilding and writes in Middle English when the characters speak English rather than French, which REALLY tickles my heart. The book doesn't end as well as I'd hoped - a little too convenient, doesn't double down enough on subby murderbot-ness - but the journey and the writing is enjoyable enough that I would recommend it as a fun read.

I also recommend pretty much any of T. Kingfisher's romances, if you don't mind a little bit of...tumblr house flavor, I suppose? The author IS on tumblr and is very much a product of fandom, which might not scratch your itch if you are deliberately looking for contrasting tone, but I DEVOURED Paladin's Grace and the Clocktaur Verse (they are in the same universe but stand alone), since she also does some good horror stuff and has great worldbuilding.

I browsed around a little more and put a hold on The Highwayman by Kerrigan Byrne, Hot Blooded by Heather Guerre (although her werewolf romance VERY much turned me off, just couldn't stand the MMC), and His Secondhand Wife by Cheryl St. John, but have NO clue if any of them will actually deliver the very specific content I'm looking for in a romance novel. Unsatisfactory state of affairs ;_____;

If you want fanfic to tide you over, I put this list and this list together for femdom stuff!

The BEST feeling is when you discover one of your favorite authors has sneakily put out another book!

Please y’all read @tkingfisher ; her stuff is of varying lengths, but they are all fun, amazing, with characters of all genders, sexes, races, species, and sexualities, I just love em.

There’s something for pretty much any fantasy lover, but fair warning: her longer works may not be your jam if you don’t like creepy af. The Clocktaur War series has its share of unsettling, but the Saint of Steel series is charming & funny with a hefty dose of both adventure & romance, and they’re set in the same verse as well.

Pssst, I heard you like fealty-swearing, subby murderbots. If so, you should deffo read the Clocktaur War duo by T. Kingfisher (and her adult romances set in the same world have overlapping tropes like paladin mc's). Happy Holidays! *scuttles back into the darkness*

anon. anon. ANON.  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?????????

The Clockwork Wars, by T. Kingfisher

Paladin’s Grace, by T. Kingfisher

I want you to know that you PERSONALLY are responsible for what has happened to my life in the last few days.  I borrowed Clockwork Boys yesterday, December 24th, 2020, could NOT put it down, and burned through both Clockwork Boys and The Wonder Engine and am right now, December 25th, 2020, in the middle of Paladin’s Grace.  I am behind on several other fandom commitments, there are other books in my queue, I am forkin beside myself.

What. Have. You. DONE??????

This!!!! This!!!  This is my Kryptonite!!!!! Big sword-wielding subby murder-bots who have severe self-worth issues and are extremely competent warriors, but also have hearts of gold and are polite and care deeply about being compassionate to those who don’t happen to be big sword-wielding murder-bots!!!!  Constant and regular “I would follow you like a dog” Caine Wise-esque inner monologues!  Romance!  Swearing fealty!!!  And not just like, a weak-ass declaration delivered standing saying ilu 5ever babe, but proper, actual swearing of fealty.  Sword point down in the ground, hands on the hilt, kneeling with head bowed, you are my liege and I will serve you till the end of my days fealty!!!! 

I haven’t even gotten onto how great it is that Slate and Grace  fill my job competence kink and aren’t waifish ravishingly beautiful 20-somethings, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME

It’s not just that all of the paladin characters are like gifts off of my self-indulgent subby male character fantasy wish list.  It’s that the Clocktaur universe was deliberately written in order to respond to the overuse and abuse of self-loathing male heroes who were guilt-wracked over something or other.  The romances are as much about Slate and Grace and their own baggage and insecurites as they are about Stephen and Caliban and how angsty and paladin-y they are.  It’s about the characters actually caring about other humans, about poetic descriptions of magic and supernatural power, about how cool it is that Grace’s job gives her such a neat inner monologue and how Slate can still have a relationship with Brenner, etc etc etc.

For anyone looking for a blurb, The Clocktaur Wars is set in a magical fantasy world, where a forger, an assassin, a disgraced paladin, and a snooty scholar are set off on a quest to save their city from mechanical monsters. The series is complete at two books.  Paladin’s Grace is another adventure set in the same world, although so far unrelated. 

(and I have to be honest.  I HAVE to be honest.  I opened Paladin’s Grace so fast after finishing Clocktaur Wars because the blurb read “Stephen is a broken paladin, living only for the chance to be useful before he dies. But all that changes when he encounters a fugitive named Grace in an alley and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong.” Why am I LIKE THIS why am i PREDICTABLE)

i recognize that the author has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, i've elected to ignore it. this is about chapter 48 of the wonder engine.

SPOILERS FOR THE CLOCKTAUR VERSE STOP READING:

Like...CONFESSION TIME.  Brenner as a character always made me super nervous because I was rooting for Slate/Caliban the entire time, and although Brenner was always explicitly clear about not loving Slate, his presence in the group always made me scared that this was heading in a love triangle direction and I CANNOT STAND triangles.  I loved his character and I absolutely loved his relationship with Slate (gawd, when he put his hand around her throat to keep her quiet when the clocktaur was passing by, and Slate was grateful? SUCH a great moment and so illustrative of the dynamic), but triangles are an affirmative no-go for me. 

And then

THEN

The fact that the last word he spoke was ‘Darlin???????’

FFFFFFFF.  Nonnie that cut.  That cut DEEP.  The whole ‘calloused, sarcastic morally grey bastard characters end up going for the sacrifice play’ isn’t a trope that is always done well, but when it IS done well...oof.  Like...there was absolutely no attempt at a last-minute love confession, no attempt to make Brenner some kind of angel at the end, but he bought them time.  He DID CARE about Slate and about the group in his own assassin-Brenner way, and I was NOT expecting the book to kill him and it HURT!!!

Clocktaur Anon here - I am both overjoyed and slightly worried (pls get some sleep) that you took up my suggestion!! They are absolutely fantastic books that have flown under the radar. If it makes you feel any better, I went on a similar binge 2 weeks ago in between Christmas preparations! As a fellow connoisseur of polite, subby murderbots, this certainly scratched an itch for me (and as someone who also suffers allergies like Slate, reading about Caliban having a constant stream 1/3

I am suffering, nonnie, SUFFERING! 

It is a specific and unique kind of irritation to go for so long without a taste of your very specific, preferred content, and then SUDDENLY to find a rich vein of it and mine it all in 3 days and then find out there is NO MORE!!!  There isn’t any more!  No more Grace with her nerdy perfumer’s inner monologue (and isn’t i amazing that T. Kingfisher actually came up with a VALID CANON REASON for a character being able to identify specific scents on their beloved?)!  No more Stephen who can literally break through walls when the divine tide takes him but will still allow Grace to steer him around with just a touch!  No more Caliban swearing his fealty to Slate and devoting the rest of his life to free-range demon slaying and eating her out, no more Slate with her lockpicking skills and her relentless practicality, no more SARKIS AND HALLA and the careful, loving unpacking of all that it means when you are a very mortal respectable widow and your husband is a 500-year-old mercenary who lives in a sword and is enspelled to protect you, the wielder! 

NO MORE. I HAVE TO WAIT, LIKE SOME KIND OF SAD SACK. At least only till February 2021!!!

I’m so glad I was right about Zale being nonbinary - the first couple they/thems I thought maybe could have been the flow of the writing, but the pronouns stayed consistent and no one, even the villains, commented on it at all and it was so good! 

(And to all of you pr0nbots out there, I am begging you. Please.  If you have any romance book/fantasy book recommendations that have similar tropes to the Clocktaur Verse - ESPECIALLY re: subby paladins, then send them my way!)

chapter 48 anon: i see what you mean. i was rooting for slate/caliban/brenner ot3 the whole way through and got completely blindsided to the point that i had to put the book down and walk away lol

Nonnie I have a feeling that we need to have this discussion off anon XDDDDD.  Also re: OT3s - I think you and @spaceshipoftheseus​ might have a similar vibe re: Slate/Caliban/Brenner

(man, I USED to be all for the OT3 suggestion when the text tried to triangle people, and now I feel like I’m in a fiction phase where I have definitely already picked a favorite before any of the trio know and I just want to see my ship happen like I’m engaging in my cursed adolescent forum ship wars again)

first you make me love helen wick and NOW you make me obsessed with the clocktaur series??????? HOW MANY TIMES MUST YOU DO THIS TAKIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

anyway do you have any good fic recs for caliban/slate/brenner ot3? i need Moar

Okay this time it isn’t my fault i SWEAR!!!  The Clocktaur ‘verse got pushed on me by ANOTHER one of you anons, and now we’re all just sufferinnggggggg

I don’t have any good Clocktaur fic recs - the entire ao3 tag is like 10 fics max if you include Paladin’s Grace and Swordheart, and I am DESPERATE for more of this content!!!!!  Followers, if you have any book or fic recs please toss them my way a woman is THIRSTY

I have been reading your “you are responsible forever for what you have tamed” tag with UTTER GLEE *fans self*

Do you have any recommendations for books / fix to read which are heavy on fealty and subby men/murderbots? Especially if the kink is explicit but implicit is delightful too! Thank you!!

Hello! Thank you for enjoying my tag, and for giving me a really pleasant walk down memory lane, as I just went through the tag to find some fics to rec!

Disclaimer: I am not actually IN all of the fandoms for these recs, so if you want to go exploring the original canon or fandom proceed with caution as I have no idea what's out there in them hills.

Recs under the cut!

It's really hard for me to pull together a GOOD, COHERENT rec list for subby murderbot fic, because (1) I have been a fan of this trope for a good long time, and I simply cannot be arsed to go through over three thousand pages of bookmarks because I get distracted and start re-reading, and (2) there isn't a clear tag for it on ao3? And I understand why not, because it's hard to distinguish between "this is a character dynamic in the text" and "this is a kinky fic I am writing specifically for physical kink purposes." And THEN there are the fics where those two overlap!

So...*waves hands helplessly* I tried?

If you are looking very specifically for fealty-related femdom stuff, I made a not-so-giant femdommy fic rec list here a couple years ago, it's a good starter. It could probably use some updating at this point, but I have well over three thousand bookmarks on ao3 and...well...see above.

Tbh, I'm just going to link my AO3 bookmarks and accept that this may lose me a GREAT deal of respect from some of you pr0nbots who thought I was Better Than That (TM) for some of the stuff in there (spoilers: i am NOT and i AM embarrassed about it). Search "Dom/Sub" or "Light dom/sub" or "Fealty" or even just "BDSM" and you'll probably turn up a bunch of fics from different fandoms. Since authors don't always tag themes, you can also use the "Search within results" bar as well as the tags search, which might net you more results.

You could just search my Helen Wick tag - most of my John Wick stuff tags end up being vaguely kinky anyway. Sadly, not a whole lot of subby John Wick fic out there, but hope springs eternal I suppose!

The Clocktaur Verse is a fantasy book series by T. Kingfisher that I HIGHLY recommend as far as subby, respectful murderbot paladins!

@astolat's fics are always quality, but @fahye made a definitive astolat fealty rec list! I haven't read the merlin, thor/loki, and stargate fics because I don't happen to be in those fandoms, but I CANNOT recommend enough "And I Alone Have Escaped to Tell You," because despite the fact that it's forkin' Transformers, I have never ever read another fic that gets literal "subby murderbot second-in-command" quite so well. "Duende" from Master & Commander is also very good, although neither of them is precisely what I would call "subby."

@theragnarokd's Person of Interest fics on ao3 are incredible, as is the series they wrote with maculategiraffe, which is ALL about fealty. In fact, Person of Interest in general as a fandom is pretty rich for subby murderbot content, since the main character is an archetypal subby murderbot. astolat has a GREAT POI collection.

I would highly recommend Jupiter Ascending, a glittering ridiculously fantastic space angel werewolf of a movie where the male love interest is a literal dog soldier. Generally, anything written for Jupiter/Caine in the Jupiter Ascending fandom is choice subby murderbot content. I am also, shamefully, several years into a hiatus for a JA fic of my own.

Leverage is another fandom with a subby murderbot in it, but since Eliot Spencer is also a lot of other things not all of the fic involving him focuses on that dynamic. One of my oldest bookmarks is "Before Red Cape and Foil" by egelantier and somebraveapollo, which is a crossover with a fandom I don't go to but you don't need to be familiar to enjoy the whump. The Rope Studio AU by synteis is also good, if sadly unfinished. In fact, the first couple pages of my Leverage bookmarks should be a good resource.

I really, honestly don't think I can get much better than just shoving all of my thousands of ao3 bookmarks at people (I should start using bookmarker's tags someday (ㆆ_ㆆ)), but I PROMISE that somewhere in that mess is a bunch of subby murderbot and subby murderbot AU content! Just... a little buried in the slush.