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frxxxncx · 7 months

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happy birthday - c. seungcheol

»idol!¡Choi Seungcheol x fem!¡reader.

»Summary: It´s midnight and you´re alone in your apartment for your birthday.

»Tags: smut (MDNI), oral (f. receiving), cunnilingus, pet names, establish relationship, idolau, fingering, countertop oral(?, body worship, dom!seungcheol, sub!reader, reader is mention to have her ears pierced, seungcheol is strong af.

»Words: 1.4k (idk)

note: i feel like as much as Cheol likes people to congratulate him on his birthday, he would try his best to do the same for his partner, idk, it was my birthday like three days ago and i just miss him so much ;c

note 2: Any typo or incoherence that you might find was completely intentional, it’s for the sake of learning about my mistakes.

Your hair tickled on the back of your neck, the soft air of the night making it dance on your skin.

In this particularly cold night, you looked at the moon with a solemn expression in your face, you were sitting in the balcony... alone, with the big and shining sphere who has always been the witness of your bittersweet nights filled in loneliness, but also bystander of those you spent with company.

The memories of his warm body beside you, tugging you into a warm hug seem very distant, like they have been only a long and wonderful dream.

You closed your eyes trying to imagine your boyfriend being there, his hoarse voice congratulating you for your birthday as soon as the clock hits midnight like he always used to do.

Filling your face with kisses and caressing your body with softness, but he wasn't there.

It's been four months since the last time you saw him, his schedule always filled to the brim, presentations, concerts, interviews, flights, pre-recording, you didn't know what to do, you talk all the time, texts, calls, FaceTime, but it's not enough, it's just to little of him for you.

You hugged yourself and the clock rang announcing midnight.

"Happy birthday to me" you said while an uncontrollable tear slipped through your reddened cheek.

You got up, and palmed the dirt of your shirt to get inside the apartment. Dragging your feet, you threw yourself in your bed, crashing into the mattress, hurting your back with the tv controller that was laying there before.

You took the controller from behind your back, to settle in the bed hugging your pillow tightly, arching your back making your shirt -your boyfriend's shirt- lift.

"Fuck, what a nice view" the velvety yet masculine voice of your boyfriend rang in your ears, and startled you sat in your bed.

There he was, standing in the door frame, with a big box of chocolates, a bottle of wine and a cute bouquet of your favourite flowers. His pearly smile lighted the gloominess in the room, making your heart flutter.

"Happy birthday, baby" he said sweetly but with an apologetic smile, maybe thinking you were upset by his tardiness.

You wanted to cry big time, you were certain that he was extremely tired from his rehearsals, but yet you were so happy that he took the time to come.

Euphoric you got out of bed, running to him and jumping on his arms, pinning your legs on his hips and locking your arms in his neck. Seungcheol, was in a tough position, his arms were full with the gifts and now you were clinging onto him like a tick, he has to admit it, his core balance is pretty sick.

Your face rested in the crock of his neck and the woody smell stroke your nostrils, and with that you were sure that him being there was not a dream.

You raised your face, his eyes were like two shining stars and his sweet smile almost made you melt in his arms. With his hands still very occupied, he managed to hug you back and give a loud kiss on your temple.

"I missed you so much" he whispered in your ear, his soft lips caressing your earlobe sending shivers down your spine.

A chill ran down your body making you tighten your grip on his neck.

"I missed you too, Cheolie"

Seungcheol, who was somehow still lifting you, got out of the room and went straight to the kitchen, putting everything in place, the chocolates in the table, the flowers in the pot and the wine, well, the wine in the wine fridge. When his hands were free he decided to sit you in the aisle in the middle of the kitchen.

Your legs and arms untangled from his figure, but he didn't move an inch, with your legs on each side of his hips, he started to leave kisses in the soft skin of your neck, sweet kisses in the freckles of your shoulders, but biting and sucking your collarbone.

His black shirt which you were using was starting to get in the way and quickly he got rid of it. He admired your bare chest, your beautiful and delicate skin, your breasts that fit in his hands just perfectly.

He kept kissing your skin while his hands were now fondling your breast enjoying the soft moans that escaped your mouth. A loud whimper dance away from your mouth, when his lips started to give pecks at your breasts.

He missed you so much, he just wanted you to touch you, draw your whole body with his fingers, engrave every curve of your body in his memory.

The tips of his fingers were now caressing your thighs doing imaginary figures, stroking with care. His kisses got to the base of your stomach, your fingers were starting to curl thrilled.

"God, you're so perfect" he whispered against your belly, making you shiver.

Your hands squeezed tightly the edge of the isle, knuckles whitening at the action and almost losing feeling in your fingers. You laid, your body suddenly feeling heavy, a whine slipped from your lips as Seungcheol’s fingers ran over your clotted cunt, just a little caress over your clothes making you shiver, not even directly and still it felt so good.

He tugged with his thumbs in the elastic of your underwear, stroking faintly with his fingers the journey to your ankles, making your skin burn exquisitely.

Now with your underwear long forgotten in some dark corner of the kitchen, Seungcheol's fingers travelled through the inside of your thighs once again.

As his digits got closer and closer to your core, he stopped, gripping the soft flesh of your legs tightly, making you moan.

Seungcheol put his rough palms in your knees, and testing your flexibility he pushed as much as he could without hurting you, his eyes travelled from your eyes to your cunt, licking his lips at the stirring view, your core sopping in your arousal.

His breath was hot against your wet and puffy lips, how was it even possible for you to feel this worked up when you haven't even started yet?, you were eager to know what was about to come next.

Like two petals the kisses were soft and silky, lips dancing skilfully on your cunt, making you chant his name in an obscene mantra, he drank till the last drop of your arousal, like it was one of his favourite wines.

His tongue strokes over your sex, drawing fat strips with the hot muscle, enjoying your exquisite flavour like a starving man, but also pleased for being able to make you moan just like a porn star.

You could feel his hot tongue inside of you, his nose bumping with your clit, making your toes curl, you are not sure if it is because you love him so much, but Seungcheol is just so fucking good at giving you head, he knew where to touch, where to suck, he knows your body like the palm of his hand and that makes you even wetter.

And when he pressed his big hand onto your belly you felt how the coil that has been building up started to erupt, like firework exploiting inside of you, and when your orgasm washed you over, he drank it all, leaving you a trembling mess, receiving more pleasure from hearing you become such a mess just from giving you head, ignoring completely the hard on pressing painfully against his jeans.

His blonde hair felt soft against your thighs, when he lifted his face to looked at you, you could help but let a pathetic cry slip your mouth, his lips were bright red and glossy, chin covered in your arousal, he was panting, expression denoting adoration, making your heart melt in the spot.

His eyes looked at you lovingly, his tongue licking what it could from your excitement from his lips, his face got close to yours, lips kissing your earlobe feeling the cold metal of your piercing in his lips.

"I love you"

Your chest tightened, happiness overflowing your body, you stole a soft and innocent kiss from Seungcheol, making him laugh.

"I love you too"

"Happy birthday"

"Well now I'll go get your present" he got up and started to walk towards the door but you were confused.

"Wait" you said and he stopped in the door frame to look at you with a smile, head tilted to the side "My presents weren't the chocolates, the wine and the flowers?" the disorientation in your voice was obvious.

"No, that was just a small gift" he furrowed his eyebrows still smiling, yet his expression was showered in disbelief "Do you think I'm broke or something?"

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leejungchans · 1 year

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Sunshine Sol! It’s me again 💓✨ I hope you’ve been doing well and I miss you lots so I dropped by ✨ I am holding you in the Dino sphere (… unintentional pun) bc man finally has his chance in my bias wrecker rotation after weeks of being constantly kicked out by Cheol the couprang hold was so strong but Chan’s first boyfriend energy wiggled through!!

Anyways I’m back with another Shua dream update. I’ve been dreaming him so frequently that I finally have some favorites lol. But aaaa Husband!Shua has his grip on me and CANNOT LET GO 🥲 the tl;dr ver is that our families wanted us to marry bc there was a pregnancy scare (if it was real or not, we never know 😭) but we were both anxious about it. Then I got so stressed, I had to excuse myself and started to cry im the restroom. Shua followed me bc he’s a sweetheart and said it’ll be ok bc he won’t leave me by myself and then I woke up 😭 he was so sweet I just 😞💖😞💖 *melt into a puddle* now am manifesting a part two!!

It was a bit more detailed than that lol but I’m just happy he was in there though that dream was stressful 🤡 manifesting you dream of Dino lots too!! Miss you lots and ty for entertaining my dream talks 🥺

— chia 🐏

CHIA HI 🥹🥹💗💗💗 imy!!!!! how have you been? hope you’re staying warm (if it’s cold where you are) and healthy!!! i’m doing well <333 ty for checking in hehe

chan’s boyfriend energy,,,,,,,,,,,has been causing me sm grief for maybe the past 2 years 😭😭😭😭😭 GRRRRR WHY IS HE 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ BUT ANYWAYS LET’S TALK AB YOUR SHUA DREAM BC OMG 🤧🤧🤧🤧 it’s so cute??????????? like he would stay so calm throughout the scare bc he wants to make sure you’re okay first :((((( and regardless of the end result he would make sure you know that he loves you no matter what ;;;

#i love hearing ab your dreams theyre always so fun to hear ab 🥹🥹 even though this one was kinda stressful </3 #chia 🐏💕#moots <3 #sol answers

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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I might not see you.

october 6th, 2020: convex’s last don’t wanna cry stage at mtv show.

it feels weirdly symbolic for their last stage to be the same show on which they received this comeback’s first win. he knows it’s all a healthy mix of coincidence and the determination of consta that had things work out this way but he still lets the notion energise him for the best goodbye stage he can muster. he feels like a broken record, reminding himself constantly to do everything he can, to give everything his all, but by the end of a promotion cycle, he truthfully needs it.

they only perform ‘don’t wanna cry’ this time, have been for the past three weeks. his knees feel numb from all the kneeling for the choreography, though he had believed he’d become accustomed to it during the practice stage. maybe it’s the added fatigue from everything else — the television show appearances, the radio shows, the long days sitting in waiting rooms and going through constant make-up retouches. exhaustion is always deeply settled into his bones, but promoting is a different type of tiredness. he spends most of his time backstage yawning, longing for a nap but knowing he’ll have difficulty drifting off with so many people around.

he can never tell if the last day goes faster or slower than all the others. they’ve been promoting for four weeks but it feels like four days with how the days all blur into one. some of the day feels like a hundred hours long, yet at others, the minutes pass with each single blink.

goodbye stages are never as sad as he’d expected them to be. it probably should be bittersweet, but all he can think of is all the rest they’ll soon be able to get. after all, it’s not as if this is the end. they’ll perform each comeback’s title again, probably consistently at concerts and special stages for the rest of their career, and they’ll release another new album or single in due time. it’s a goodbye for now, not forever. he does get a little emotional as they bow to everyone who’s looked after them for their promotion weeks, but he wouldn’t be him if he didn’t.

it’s a relief to finally wipe off the make-up and change out of the more formal stage clothes and into his pyjamas after a well deserved ( but admittedly short; it’s hard sharing only a handful of bathrooms between so many people ) shower. it’s a relief to be done with another round of promotions without a hitch. it’s been two years almost, but he still fears the worst deep in the back of his mind after the wet stage at their debut. he still fears the worst after losing members almost every album. but now he can finally breathe again, let out a sigh of relief as his head hits the pillow and he’s out like a light.

#convex:sep20 #cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #( wc; 477 )#( for some reason the read more isn't working on dash but whatever )

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rkxroyal · 4 years

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sweet & special,

backdated to august 8th, 2020 ; @seungcheolrk

they're in the swing of preparations, but woohyun refuses to let himself forget about the birthdays of his fellow members. the second birthday of the month falls on the eighth, with seungcheol as the lucky one. unfortunately, woohyun doesn't have a lot of time to properly gift hunt for the other-- so instead, he takes a quick trip in the later afternoon to a bakery, getting a small, simple little cake. he makes a mental note to make it up for the other and gift him something a bit more special.

with the small cake boxed and bagged, hanging off his arm, he digs out his phone so he can type out a quick message to seungcheol. he knows the other is working on something else along with their comeback preparations, and likely returned back to the company after his fanmeeting. woohyun bites his lip, fingers hesitating over the screen. he hopes seungcheol isn't busy with something. if so, he'll just refrigerate it until seungcheol has a moment.

( sms // seungcheollie ) cheol-ah~~~ our precious birthday boy ~~ ( sms // seungcheollie ) are you back at sphere? ( sms // seungcheollie ) i've got something for you~ ( sms // seungcheollie ) it's a sweet treat ~~

#seungcheolrk #p;sweet&special #convex; thread #sphere; convex #convex:aug20 #( surprise bday starter for u <3 i hope it was ok!! )

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jacerk · 4 years

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●// silver lights

@seungcheolrk

jihoon was obsessed with seungcheol and his hair. he is more than positive his best friend had never gone this far with his hair, unlike jihoon himself who has had every single colour of the rainbow in his hair. “you look so handsome.” he keeps saying, every single time his eyes catch a glimpse of the rapper and he means it with every single cell in his being. seungcheol just needed to see it for himself.

tonight they were both in one of the dance studios in sphere, learning the iconic choreography to candy and jihoon dreaded the moment that stage would come to live. however, he had seungcheol’s head resting on his lap and his fingers going through the freshly bleached silver locks. it was a nice way to relax and get his mind of the stage. “you know.. you should have listened to me when i told you, that you would look amazing with light hair.” jihoon pauses, looking down at his best friend before speaking again “and no, brown isn’t light hair, cheol.”

#convex:dec19 #●// starters #●// convex #seungcheolrk #[[ i hope this is okay!!

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rkseokwoo-blog · 5 years

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any dongsaeng who are very precious to you?

“lots of dongsaeng!” ( ‘ -- he happily responds, already lifting his hand up and tugging down the sleeve of his jacket, the fabric crumpling at his elbow as he tries to work out where to start. ) “there’s... my sister, pretty mina and my cutie cousin jiwoo, and hyuncutie, chaeyoungie, donghoney, hosungie, eric, mark, younghoonie, dongminnie, seonho..” ( ‘ -- as he lists, he realises that he runs out of fingers very quickly, and has to exhale a soft sigh. he knew that he had many dongsaeng, ones who he wanted to take care of and shower with affection as much as possible. still, thinking of them all, he realised that he must be very lucky to have them. ) “and then there’s the new sphere boy trainees, and some of the convex sunbaes. youngjae, gukkie, junie, handsome hyun, tennie, and i like sweetcheol and jihoon too. i think they are all very precious, and i would do anything to make sure that they are happy and healthy. it’s sad though, because i don’t get to seem them very much.”

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memoirsofrkxjiyeon · 6 years

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smile flower *

@seungcheolrk

pure sunshine, great food, among talented people.

this was the perfect ending, after all, minhee was already riding the high from being the leading lady of convex music video, she couldn’t choose what her favourite part of it. sure, sometimes it was awkward then again it was so much fun too especially being push around in shopping cart. she sipped on her drink through her straw bouncing from one person to another being happy little social butterfly using her power of charisma to charm any many she even start waving to the trainers who seem to be watching out for bad behaviour. this was professional function after all.

the convex boys were allowed to come to this event, she did keep her eye to spot any of them so she could bother them for a little. she hasn’t really had the chance to talk to them and kind of miss their presence around sphere cause they were so busy preparing for the comeback.in particular, she did miss the shy boy or bunny boy which netizen fondly nickname him. minhee agrees with the nickname for sure especially after seeing him bounce around on stage during the secret showcase. the female eyes wander around the place until her eyes fell upon him, she walks over towards where she found him. minhee walk over to him, gently tapping him on the shoulder trying not startle the poor boy, “Cheol, enjoying the party?” she smiles brightly giving him wand once he notice that she was there.

#.smileflower #seungcheolrk #rkjuly18eval #[ voila~~

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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on the same frequency.

september 9th, 2020: convex on kiss the radio. & september 12th, 2020: convex on idol radio.

radio shows should be easier, but with twelve of them cramming into tiny studios, seungcheol feels a little like sardines lined up in their tins. they often crowd around a limited number of microphones, half the group behind the other, almost unintentionally discouraged from speaking up. idol radio is a little different especially; with all that extra space for cover dances and performances, he feels like he can really breathe.

one benefit of a lot of members, however, is that there’s almost no pressure on him, as someone who isn’t as confident in the variety setting, to hold the show together. the hosts and the other convex boys always do their best to include the quieter members, but there’s a difference between asking him what he thinks of their new song and asking him to entertain an audience of who knows how many for an hour straight. seungcheol doesn’t think he could even entertain himself for that long these days, not unless it was the first half of a star wars movie.

( does practice count as ‘entertainment’? he doesn’t think so. he loves performing, but it is still technically work. )

since his first solo appearance, though, he’s gotten a little more outspoken. it’s terrifying standing on stage by yourself, but the nod to his roots had been an immense comfort. settling in slowly but surely, he’s able to build his confidence as he goes, rather than throwing himself in at the deep end — and hopefully his stint on ‘king of masked singer’ ( which he’s also asked about on both occasions and happily and readily rambles about for a couple minutes each time, stutter almost entirely absent ) and more recently, his time with seonghwa on ‘hello counsellor’ are a sign of more good things to come, a sign that sphere believes in him a little more to hold himself without eleven brothers at his side.

performing their own songs, especially in a more relaxed environment, is always a delight, though. he can comfortably say he hasn’t disliked a convex song thus far, even if their current one is the furthest from his usual taste. the important thing for him is that he likes his lines, because as long as he can pull those off ( and the choreography but he’s long since accepted that he’s always going to have a love-hate relationship with dancing ) then he’s set. they’re a team — everyone brings their best for their role and responsibilities and all together, it falls into place. the pressure stretches across all their shoulders.

the only drawback is how it busies up more days on their promotion schedule, though he’ll surely make up for it with how fast he’ll drift off when his head hits the pillow later each night.

#convex:sep20 #cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #( wc; 459 )

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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like lightning.

july 24th, 2020: convex’s 'call me baby’ stage at music bank’s summer special concert.

it could certainly be worse. in all honesty, ‘call me baby’ is one of his favourite unit black songs, and it thankfully also isn’t among the hardest choreographies in their discography, but it doesn’t exactly scream summer to seungcheol either. the song had originally released at the end of march, for one thing — not to mention the leather jackets that aren’t the smartest idea in the scorching heat. he’s faced the samsung group’s limit test under the sun twice now, but even he doesn’t need that to know anything other than a light t-shirt and shorts is a bad idea when the temperature is at it’s highest. thankfully, again, they’d be wearing suit-style outfits — still warm, but he isn’t sweating buckets before they even get on stage, so he’ll take it.

practice goes as smoothly as he can expect trying to balance new songs of their own and the special stage, and he knows that as the date of the concert hits, their schedule is packed for the next few days. studio recordings, hair appointments, this— then a merciful few days until another party he will inevitably stand awkwardly at the side for the duration of, not knowing how to talk to anyone he doesn’t already live with and see every day.

he brushes down his jacket, straightening where it had gotten caught in the waistband of his trousers. strangely, he’s not as nervous as he had been in practice. when they’re staring at their reflections, he can’t help but think about how they have such big shoes to fill, such a legacy to live up to and honour. unit black in their early days especially took the world by storm; convex aren’t not popular by any means but he still feels like an insignificant speck of dust in a wide, expansive universe. there’s so many groups, so many big names they’ll always be starry eyed to, it’s difficult for him to recognise his own impact. but all he can do is give it his best and that’s what he reminds himself in the dark of their bedroom at night when his mind works overtime to convince him of anything else. as a unit leader, he keeps it all in, takes a deep breath each time and hopes the sinking feeling in his stomach will be gone by morning.

( it usually is; it’s the loneliness and endlessness of the quiet of their room that lets his mind wander. when he’s busy urging changkyun out of bed and making himself look somewhat presentable, he doesn’t have time to think about anything else. )

however, standing here now about to go out, he isn’t sure how to describe how he feels but he recognises, at the very least, that there’s none of his usual nervousness. his fingers aren’t fidgeting in his pockets, his foot not ( yet? ) tapping against the floor. it’s possible that it’s just because they’ve already been there to perform two of their own songs, but he doubts it. that doesn’t usually stop him from letting the pressure dance along the borderline of overwhelming him.

rather than question it, though, he tries to embrace it. he might not understand why he’s feeling this way ( whatever ‘this way’ might be, he still can’t put a finger on it — not confident, but not not... almost a neutral, but not quite ), but he can admit that it’s undoubtedly better than overthinking and missing a beat, especially with a dance he’s only known for the duration of the month so far and not one of their own he could do in his sleep by now.

his rap is towards the end, but he makes sure to take it a little easier when they reach it so his voice can remain stable. he’s grateful for almost all his lines being bulked together; that way he can focus on dancing correctly for the rest of the time — and more importantly, not succumbing to the increasing warmth. he’ll be more grateful when he can get home later and take a relaxing shower and wash all the sweat off, he’s sure.

#convex:july20 #cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #( wc; 686 )#cvx;performance

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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“life isn’t easy.”

september 5th, 2020: seungcheol & seonghwa visit ‘hello counsellor’. first concern, ‘my sister is evil’: full episode to air september 21st.

TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IN VIDEO AND REFERENCED BELOW

there’s a lot of inner turmoil when his appearance on the show is first revealed to him. on one hand, he’s reminded of all the times he’s listened sincerely to the other members, or to changkyun and sehun even before convex. he’s, by textbook definition, a ‘good listener’, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a good advice-giver. keeping an open ear and a shoulder clear to cry on is a lot more manageable than articulating his usually jumbled up thoughts into sentences that could affect another person’s life. it’s easier to let someone know they’re not alone than to tell them what you might do, or what you think they could do, in a situation you aren’t experiencing.

but on the other, he thinks the one thing he’s always prided himself on, always thought was his biggest ( and perhaps at times only ) merit, is his gentle heart.

who better to give advice than someone who makes every decision as to make everyone around him comfortable and safe? who better to give advice than someone who rarely ever gets into fights because he keeps his patience well? it obviously can and does happen, but once every so often versus every month or every week is a stark difference. he doesn’t know what concerns they’ll have for the episode he’s on, maybe he won’t be able to relate to any of it, but the least he can do is try — show love and care and sympathy. as terrible as it sounds, he supposes no one’s expecting an idol to be a king of advice. they’re performers at the end of the day, but beneath that, they are still, of course, human.

after a brief introduction, they settle down for the first of the three concerns. it’s a letter from a little girl, only eleven, and before they even get into it, he already feels his heart clench. at that age, no one should feel so troubled to write into a show like this. her little sister drives her crazy with stress and it’s easy to think initially that it’s just sibling rivalry. he’s an only child but he’s seen it before with friends, how they’ll scrap with one another even in their adolescence or, worse, adulthood. however, as the host continues to read, he wonders if there’s more to it than that.

jiyun is so cute that he can’t help but coo when she comes down the slide and into the ball pit. she tells her stories with so much hurry that even when the other hosts chuckle at her choice of words, his eyes soften. he tries to remind himself that there’s two sides to every story but the things she says, the way she’s so fired up already makes him side with her immediately, but he sits quietly as the other guests ask her questions, what surprised her the most or upset her the most when her sister changed.

“‘I’m in a bad mood’, where did you learn to say that?”

when jiyun laughs, he can’t help but join. she adds, “my mum always says that,” and it strikes a familiar chord in him, his hand coming up to cover his laughter. only seconds later, they meet her little sister, who boldly admits it’s all true, that she knows it’s wrong. he wonders momentarily how someone could already be so shameless at such a young age, but she cuts his thoughts off with a confession that she has started fights herself before, too. he’s already getting emotional by the time her little sister is starting to tear up, but again, it feels like a rollercoaster as her insistence that something in her older sister that has changed is how she acts cute now.

( is that such a crime? )

he can’t relate to the informality issue, but the second he hears her wish to be an only child, that she feels like dying, that she’s lonely, his heart shatters. the host jokes that it’s menopause, but he can’t even crack a smile because no one, let alone a child that young, should feel that way. it almost makes him angry, but he reserves it until they can speak to the parents, at least. he doesn’t have much of a full picture yet, as much as he can feel that something is wrong.

“did you know it was this serious between the girls?” they ask, and in a show of true colours, the parents laugh as their father admits he had no idea. seungcheol’s parents, much like most parents, hadn’t always had all the time in the world for him growing up. they worked full time jobs, both before and after they opened the music store, even if the latter did mean they were always close to home. however, they had always made a conscious and careful effort to know his feelings and thoughts. if he was struggling, they would notice. if he was happy, they would see it in his eyes. but the way their father says it is so nonchalant, like it’s normal to just let your kids fight and never wonder why or what you could do to help. there’s a moment of retribution when he says he tries not to take sides, but their mother immediately ruins it by reinforcing what jiyun had already told everyone — that that simply isn’t true, that she physically bumps their heads together to discipline them, that she’s grown used to letting them fight.

“can someone please host the show?” the host asks when she begins to cry, and seungcheol almost gets up to offer, just to wrap the little girl in his arms for comfort. it’s hard, when they ask her again about her darkest thoughts. he finally cracks, but thankfully if anyone notices, it isn’t pointed out, because he doesn’t want any attention to shift to him at all. this is a conversation that needs to be had between jiyun and her parents, even if unfortunately, it has to happen on television.

( he can almost guarantee the cameras will show it, though, because a tear from anyone is a heartstring pulled in the hearts of those sitting on their sofas watching at home. )

it’s all going well until he hears what the other mothers she’d sought advice from told her to do — and worse, that she’d actually done it. rightfully, the other guests speak up, say it’s too harsh, act in disbelief, and seungcheol can’t help but add in a gasped, “that’s a-abhorrent,” before she continues. when he can get a word in edgeways, he throws in his two cents even if he’s typically more timid. what surprises him most, though he only realises it when he’s done, is that he doesn’t stutter once.

“but telling her that to scare her into not saying it again doesn’t mean that she won’t feel it again. it’s not about it making you sad hearing it; she’s sad feeling it and that feeling is obviously still there, just now you’ll never know about it and won’t be able to give her the support she needs to get through it.” it’s no wonder she feels so lonely with a mother around that seems so unwilling to understand. his own mother had never been that great at sympathising with anyone. she thrives on the balance of cool and collected, every tiny aspect of her life organised to stay in control. but when seungcheol came to her crying ( when he was younger and now, he’s never been shy to admit he’s a crybaby ), she would offer a warm embrace and stroke his hair until he calmed down or fell asleep against her shoulder. his mother isn’t perfect, no one’s parents are, but there’s a difference between those who try and those who don’t.

the icing on the cake is their parents’ gaming habits. they’re shameless about it, laugh when their eleven year old says it makes her feel lonely, argue when she says she has to work to her mother’s gaming schedule to get to talk to her about her struggles. he almost wishes he were on the show alone so he could cut in whenever he wants, but he holds back whilst jiyun raises another of her concerns and an older guest, lee hyejung, scolds them in far more understanding words than he could have ever mustered together.

she reveals an event that’s stayed with her her whole life, traumatised her almost, and the same older guest tells a heartfelt story about her own daughter with a similar experience. the entire time, he nods along, thinks about how wise the woman had been so far and how it’s only proof of what he already knew. even those who seem perfect aren’t, even those who seem to have the kindest hearts can make mistakes, but it’s those who try to fix them that truly grow.

when she’s done, understandably emotional, he silently asks with a raise of a hand if he can add a short story himself. with the go ahead, he starts. “I-I’m an only child, but when I was growing up, it was hard for my parents and I to connect, too. when you’re really young, it’s a bit easier; they would take me to parks to play on the swings, and my father taught me to play the piano with him, but as mrs lee said earlier, kids grow up so, so quickly, and their interests shift and their experiences shape who they become.” he pauses for just a second. “my father was a violinist with kbs orchestra and he and I have always connected over classical music. but as I got older, I became interested in rap, too, in becoming an idol, and it created a gap between us that we’d never felt before. for a long time, we didn’t really know what to talk to each other about anymore. I felt like he was disappointed in me.” he sucks in a shaky breath, eyes watery. “but just like mrs lee, as a parent, he wanted to learn about the things that made me happy. he taught himself pop songs I liked on the piano and would help me record covers in our store’s studio. when I was little and he was still playing with the orchestra, sometimes he could be home for just an hour or so with me and that’d be all for days, but he would use that time to read to me or to play me a new song we could learn together. every parent around the world does housework and raises their children, that’s in the job description. when you have a child, you agree to share your time with them, to care for them and love them. the time for yourself can easily be fit into the hours after they go to bed, or when they’re out with friends at the weekends. my mother,” he chuckles, “would send me to bed already pouring herself a glass of wine,” he feels a sense of pride when the audience laughs, too, “but it worked, because the all the hours before bedtime, we spent together and every moment was precious. even as I grew older, we respected each other’s need for time alone, but the option was always there to spend it together. my mother always says she has no regrets with the time we spent together when I was younger now that I don’t have as much time to see them.”

he thinks he’s talked too much when he finally stops, but everyone seems to be nodding in agreement and understanding, moves on to asking eleven year old jiyun another question and he feels a weight lift from his heart. it’s hard to be so honest when everyone’s eyes are on you, but it had flowed so naturally because even though it was a story of his own experiences, it didn’t feel like it was about him. it was about jiyun and making her parents see that their excuses aren’t up to scratch. he doesn’t feel entirely satisfied by the ending of the first concern, jiyun hugging each of her parents, but he’s more comfortable than when he started, at least. all he can hope for is the best, and that the rest of their topics for the day aren’t so sad.

#tw: suicide #tw: suicidal thoughts #convex:sep20 #cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #( wc; 2056 )#( title is the keyword for the concern in the show! )

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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the spring to your smile.

april 28th, 2020: convex’s first 'pretty u’ and ‘smile flower’ stages.

seungcheol doesn’t think he’s loved performing any of convex’s songs as much as he loves smile flower and maybe someone could argue that’s because he doesn’t have to dance ( and he’d tell them that’s a fair observation ) but truthfully, it’s everything. he doesn’t have to worry about vocal stability if he isn’t kicking his leg back and forth like in ‘mansae’. it’s a beautiful ballad in its own right, without the added emotion of the lyrics. he gets to sing, even if only briefly, and hear everyone else’s sweet voices, too. it contrasts perfectly with the bright pop masterpiece ‘pretty u’ that they’re promoting as their title track. what is there not to love?

they’ll only be performing it alongside the title for the first week, but seungcheol vows to enjoy each and every one of them. it won’t be often that he gets a chance like this, so why waste it? he’s never been this enthusiastic to get up at the crack of dawn. this comeback era is his favourite so far, from its songs to its schedules and it’s put a spring in his step— in his smile that seems to stretch to his eyes and flash his gums far more now than it ever has in the past.

when they perform ‘pretty u’, he’s the picture of vibrant youth, a blooming flower. he’s got a bright grin, a sunny disposition that is relentlessly honest and true. he’d said back in february that this would be his favourite comeback yet and he hadn’t been wrong. he’s always been so concerned about shining, about standing out enough for people to feel he’s worthy of his position in convex without taking any of the spotlight away from his members, but this comeback, it doesn’t cross his mind nearly as often — rarely in comparison. he’s so blissfully happy despite the same exhaustion, despite the same busy routines. he glows without having to remind himself because he’s so overjoyed that it bursts from him like sunshine. he’s gentle as ever but bouncing on his heels; he’s comfortable and confident and it’s beautiful.

“cheol, your new song is so good! you looked so handsome performing tonight. I sent the clip to all my friends—” his father’s laughter cuts his mother off mid-sentence, their faces beaming through his phone screen the night after their first stages. “the ballad song you did, too... I wish you could have had more lines, but it’s not fair on the other members if you always outshine them, right?” if it were any other time, he’d insist only a mother would say something so embarrassing ( and so untrue; he never outshines, only fits in because that’s all he ever wants, to deserve to stand together with so much raw talent ) but today, he just laughs.

“you looked so happy up there, cheol. we’re so proud of you; always. congrats on the comeback!”

“thanks, dad.” he grins, eyeing the way his mother scowls.

she tuts, “where’s my thanks! he barely said anything!”

“can you forward me that clip you took?”

an astonished, “choi seungcheol!” can barely be heard over his giggles.

#cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #convex:apr20 #( wc; 522 )#cvx;performance #perf;prettyu #perf;smileflower

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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familiar faces.

@rksungmin backdated: december 2019

with a year-end show at every angle, seungcheol would probably have lost his head if it weren’t attached. it’s no surprise to him, or perhaps anyone, that he barely knows what day of the week it is, or what’s going on within the company outside of convex. he hears of new trainees long enough after they’ve started that he feels ashamed, but not too long that he can’t greet one of them when he spots him in the corridors on the way to lunch. it only takes a glance at his side profile to know it’s a face he’s not seen around here before, so with a little hesitation, he approaches with a shaky hand extended.

“h-hi!” he bows once he catches up to him, misses any expression on his face at his appearance until he straightens up and places said hand on the other’s arm. “w-welcome to s-sph— hey! sungmin, congratulations! I d-didn’t know you were s-signed here!” he’s beaming, bright and sunny in contrast to the dreary winter days outside. he and sungmin knew each other more so through mutual friends, but any friend of his members especially is always a friend of his, even if he does still stutter with them every so often. “h-how long h-have you been here n-now? man, I’ve t-totally lost track of this m-month. how are you s-settling in? finding e-everything okay?”

#rksungmin #p;familiarfaces #( congrats again!! and sorry for the wait ;; )#cheol;sphere

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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on one fine day.

may 30th, 2020: convex’s ‘pretty u’ performance & point-dance tutorial at speak up!

he’s not sure he’s really qualified to be teaching any kind of dance, even just the point-dance of their latest track, but he’s well learnt by now not to question any of sphere or samsung’s decisions — no matter how easy it may be to do so. he’s in a big group, so perhaps it’s easier to shuffle weaker dancers like him to the back and it’s not like ‘pretty u’s signature move is that complicated, but he’d feel pretty belittled if someone with no experience in rapping tried to teach him a verse. regardless, it feels kind of impersonal all the way up here rather than a small class or one-to-one, so perhaps that’s the beauty of it — it doesn’t matter if he isn’t the smoothest, because this isn’t serious at all, this isn’t important in the grand scheme of things. he thinks back to the time a few idols featured as guest coaches on the mgas. that would have been embarrassing and almost sad for the contestants; their futures would rest on seungcheol’s ability to help them with a skill he only recently learnt himself, but he doubts anyone is going to use what they’ve learnt today anywhere outside of a karaoke room.

it hasn’t been long since they finished their promotional run so the choreography for ‘pretty u’ is still fresh in his mind. he’s already getting a little rusty with their earlier tracks like mansae and very nice, but a few run-throughs in the practice room usually sorts him out and it’s not like sphere would ever let them perform them without going over them a hundred times beforehand. he’s all the excitement without all the fatigue this time, though, better rested and warmed by the late spring, early summer sun. they’re only there for an hour and he doesn’t really think it’s the most logical schedule they’ve ever had but their audience seem to enjoy it ( and convex, a large group with plenty of banter and bickering ) so he can’t complain.

in fact, it’s a welcome break from an otherwise hectic yet repetitive routine.

he’s not sure he wants to do it again any time soon, though. he’s certainly better but dancing still terrifies him, not that it takes too much.

#cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #convex:may20 #rkspeakup!zoomba #( wc; 377 )#cvx;performance #perf;prettyu

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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the answer is so obvious.

may 16th, 2020: s-pop saturday live station recoring, q&a by convex & h.lee.

it feels so good to be here, better than he’d expected.

the beauty of convex has always been their size. with so many members, there’s always going to be at least one you can connect with, more charms to fall for and talents to gush about. but in a smaller unit like this, with just the three of them ( and h.lee, even if she had only taken part in the song itself thus far ), seungcheol feels validated— worthy. and he feels silly. trust him, he does — for placing so much of his self worth on being picked out of their line-up to feature in this, but he can’t help the warm feeling that spreads through his chest. he has never and never will be one to push others out of the spotlight to allow himself to shine, so being chosen feels better than he can imagine. sitting here with two of his closest friends in the group, proudly showing off something they recorded and released— he’s on top of the clouds; above them, even. who knew that scaredy cat choi seungcheol, with his strange yet shy, boyish charm, would be good enough to be here, one of three instead of one of thirteen, excitedly recalling the filming of their music video.

it is admittedly a little difficult to be the only leader present, though. he’s expected to talk a lot more than he is in convex’s complete line-up, called upon when the other members don’t know what to say or the question seems more geared towards the organisational side of things. ( though he’s not sure why they ask him; he hadn’t been the one writing the schedule, after all. )

he stutters like he always does, but it’s less apparent when the atmosphere feels a little more intimate, when he’s so excited about the track and getting to perform it live later in filming. he doesn’t worry so much about picking the perfect words when his happiness is so overflowing that it must surely be impossible to give off any other impression. he’s so full of joy and admiration — for the final product and all the work that had gone into it from his members and the staff involved. getting an idea from pen and paper to a perfected song, layered and complete, a high profile collaboration of two different artists from different labels ( especially what feels like so early in convex’s career ), a music video and promotional teasers in such a short amount of time... he will always be pleasantly surprised and endlessly honoured by the amount of effort and the sheer number of staff that work behind the scenes to make their dreams come true.

“it was an h-honour. e-entirely an honour.” he insists, at the question of how it felt to work with a well-respected senior. “I didn’t think w-we’d get to do anything like this for a l-long time, so we’re really grateful that n-not only did samsung see promise in us to m-make this song, but also that h.lee could take time out of her busy s-schedule to make it with us. the b-balance of her vocals with ours makes the song really fun and vibrant, p-personally!”

when the time comes, it’s even easier to see how much he adores this project in the way he raps, eyes sparkling and grin wide. he watches jinwook and sehun with a fond gaze, chimes in with his adlibs where needed and taps his foot to the beat. he radiates so much positivity that he almost fears the crash after all this is over. after all, it isn’t a traditional promotional cycle; this is the only ‘schedule’ for it and the release hype will only last so long before the next track in the project is teased, but for now, he enjoys every second of it. he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it — or stumbles over it, more likely.

#convex:may20 #cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #( cheol getting q&a is honestly the best thing that ever happened to either of us )#( thank you rk mods ;; )#( more q&a lyrics as titles bc i'm the least creative person i know ! )#( wc; 657 )#cvx;performance #perf;q&a

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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heaven’s kitchen.

@changminxrk

sharing a home with twelve others means there’s never quite a dull moment. peace, at times, and a gentle quiet when everyone’s too exhausted to do too much, but never dull. something bubbling on the stove or humming in the microwave, shows and songs playing just a little too loudly through headphones or through small speakers behind closed doors. sometimes even the soft snore of someone napping on the sofa with a movie on pause and a blanket thrown over shoulders. seungcheol is drawn to all of it like a moth to a flame, curious who’s up, who’s about and if there’s anything he can do to help. it’s easy to fall asleep mid pour of the kettle or as the main couple in your drama finally kiss for the first time, but it’s even easier for him to do a short round every so often to tilt their wrist back before it spills or pause the television so nothing is missed.

that’s how he finds changmin in the kitchen, not asleep or anything close to it, but making something as seungcheol heads to the fridge for a cold drink. he’s tired, he always is, and a little hungry — not that the heavenly smell is helping at all.

“h-hey, e-everything good?” he starts off, his smile growing to tuck in his cheek. “it’s h-hungry business this i-idol stuff, huh? I a-always get h-h-hungry this t-time of day, after p-practice. what’re you m-making?”

#changminxrk #p;heavenskitchen #convex:mar20 #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #( cheol knowing he can't help stuttering around new members 😔 )#( i hope this is okay tho!! pls be gentle with him )#( he has so much love to give he's just Nervous Babie )

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seungcheolrk · 4 years

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pretty words.

introducing convex’s next comeback, ‘pretty u’. february 12th, 2020: line distribution, & february 22nd, 2020: choreography.

now, this — this is seungcheol’s favourite comeback yet.

with just the line distribution and the demo in his hands, he’s already loving the vibes of their newest track. the staff had mentioned a spring comeback and honestly, seungcheol felt like the song was perfect for the season, even early summer if there were any unexpected circumstances to factor in. it felt like their debut song, like their anniversary song, but better, more vibrant, more refined. not to mention he wholeheartedly loved his parts, the rap in the rough middle of the song and the rap team’s combined outro. he even attempts woohyun’s three-part high note after the bridge a few times for fun and imagines there’ll be plenty of people at home that won’t be able to resist doing the same ( and will likely do it better than him, too, though now he’s determined to master it despite probably never actually needing to ).

later, when they add the choreography, for the first time in a while, it doesn’t seem to matter how difficult it is for him at first. there’s so many layers to it, so many props and quirks and silly little things that make it so uniquely convex and so fun that he forgets to berate himself, forgets that he can’t actually dance that well. how can he dwell on such negativity when he’s hiding behind a couch? when he’s bouncing around, stomping his foot, playing on the sofa with the other rap unit members, how can he think about anything other than how cute all of this is? everything about ‘pretty u’ is feel good and it rubs off on him.

as always, he learns his own lines first and then moves on to everyone else’s. over time, listening to the track on repeat, it’d come naturally anyway but he likes to make a point of it just in case he ever needs to know any other lines. sometimes hosts ask members to sing bits of their new titles; he’d hate to be that idol that can’t even remember the chorus to his own song. he’ll embarrass himself in some way, he’s sure, but he won’t let it be this.

what gets him most excited once everything starts to come together, though, is the potential. an upbeat song like this can surely only have a similarly toned concept. bright yet soft colours, perhaps, and a cute love story for the music video? he expects styling to be more subtle than their bold looks in ‘boom boom’. maybe he’ll go back to a natural colour, his hair down more so than up. lots of denim? he’s far from knowledgeable in anything related to fashion or visual concepts but his imagination runs wild regardless. maybe sphere will surprise him, but he’s sure whatever it is, he’ll love it regardless.

he thinks it’s the best song to introduce their new members, too, not because it particularly highlights them any more than anyone else ( part of him wonders if that’d be worse, to have so much attention drawn to you immediately rather than seamlessly settling in, like you were always destined to be there ), but because it’s so fun. he doesn’t find it as hard to approach the others to practice together, or feel so nervous in group practices messing up in front of them. he feels light, like the world is ready for convex to come back strong despite everything that had unfolded over their first year or so together — like convex can still shine brighter and brighter with every comeback.

maybe he’ll even shine brighter this time, too, if he can continue to grow into himself; into the leader and performer he dreams of being. maybe.

#cheol;solo #cheol;sched #cheol;sphere #cheol;convex #convex:feb20 #( cheolrk... ur taste... unmatched...... )#( pretty u best svt title )#( wc; 619 )

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