#chastc
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chastc replied to your post:I hate indirects because I always think they’re...
every single person i know feels that way. also people who indirect are just shitty tbh. listen to the red flags, even i the posts aren’t about you
you’re an angel, thank you <3
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chastc replied to your post:[[MOR] im getting super baked by myself to...
you wont need to take a drug test or anything?
noooo the business is a little mom and pop shop at the end of my street, and 90% of the workers smoke. the two people who got me the job are my favorite stoner buddies :)
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‡ the night before fhaari left eryk
sometimes fhaari really hates his brain.
like, really really hates it.
you can treat a minor burn, or a cut, or a cold — but you can’t treat a fucking mental illness. not on your own. not like this.
he knows that he’s safe here, and he knows that eryk would never treat him less than he deserves, but — he can’t shake the feeling of an impending doom.
he can’t stop thinking that maybe eryk is treating him about a million times better than he does deserve. he can’t stop thinking that maybe eventually when the novelty wears off, eryk is going to look at him from across the dinner table and realize that fhaari isn’t anything but a sack of ghosts, nicotine, and frail bones. he’s been so terrified that it’s no longer something that pops for a quick visit in his head, or comes up whenever eryk falls asleep on him. it haunts him in his dreams and it haunts him when he’s awake. it’s that childhood engraved thought that maybe he isn’t good enough, actually — scratch that, that he definitely isn’t good enough, and his own inadequacy will bring this whole entire house down eventually.
fhaari’s going to ruin it. he knows that. he thinks if you were to strip him down to his bones, it’d be carved into his ribs. if you peered into his heart it’d be etched on the fragile flesh, and if you cracked into his skull you’d find the whole plan sketched out.
it’s when eryk outstretches his arm and beckons fhaari closer that he gets it. he’s going to betray eryk.
he loves eryk. he loves him so much that it drives him mad. he’s etched into every part of fhaari from the tips of his hair to the tips of his toes. he’s all fhaari thinks about, and the only person he’s ever given himself to fully to before. he loves eryk. hell, he loves him more than he’s ever even loved himself. he’d do anything for him and he knows the feeling is completely mutual.
but.
he can’t do this.
he can’t wait around until the day finally comes that eryk decides he’s made a mistake.
he can’t wait around until the day they’re thirty, and eryk thinks he would’ve liked more for himself.
he can’t wait around until the day eryk accidentally gets too brave, and gets caught.
he can’t wait around until the day eryk comes to agreement with the voice inside fhaari’s head.
he just can’t.
so when he does tuck himself into eryk’s side and lets his hand roam across the expanse of his lover’s chest, it’s because he’s trying to remember this. he wants to know eryk so well, that when he’s off somewhere else one day, he can shut his eyes and just know what it would’ve been like to have eryk there.
he presses his lips to the muscle of eryk’s shoulder, and begs to whatever god is listening that he be granted at least a sliver of strength that night, considering it is their last.
❝ i love you, ❞ he whispers, shifting so he’s able to trail his lips from where they’d been to the hollow of his jaw, leg coming up to entangle itself between eryk’s.
❝ i love you more than anything in this whole entire world. ❞ there’s a gentle kiss pressed to his temple, and the moment almost feels surreal, like he isn’t mentally preparing himself for what’s to come. ❝ just you. only you. ❞
it sounds almost like a plea, one that he’s not sure who it’s directed at, but he pays it no mind. he loves eryk. he’s not lying. and that’s… that’s not anything new, is it? you always hurt the people you love. judas loved jesus, and he still betrayed him. it’s a tale as old as time.
it’s a strange mix, the feeling of the terror wrapped like a glowing hot wire around his bones and the way his heart skips a beat when he pulls back and finds a pair of chocolate brown eyes gazing right back at him.
he loves this man. he loves him like it’s the only thing he knows how to do, and it’s not enough. fhaari’s not enough, and it’s — it’s just so sad, isn’t it? so heartbreakingly sad, and he doesn’t know how eryk pretends not to notice. he doesn’t know how he can look at him like that, and not feel anything other than disgust or pity. he doesn’t know, and he thinks it’s the way eryk looks at him like he’s given him the whole entire world that’s going to haunt him years from now.
he loves eryk, but it’s just not the right time. he’s already chapters ahead when fhaari’s book has just started.
it’s not the right time, but, god.. he wishes it was.
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chastc said: meh just have stats. thats all ppl do nowadays. then maybe one para summarizing shit. but tbh if you have just stats you are way ahead of most
I HA..oh caps but i have their names and their ages up now (which i feel is something) but i feel like having like a full on thing for some reason. i’m a mess.
callovs said: *insert shia video here*
i was momentarily motivated and then i heard the wizards of waverly place theme song. no longer motivated
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Everything about Louis was bright. That was the first thing that he noticed when he finally woke up. The second thing was that it was hot and he was aching a bit all over his body, feeling almost like he was being burned by the hot sun. Oh fuck, he thought, i’m probably dead. I’m definitely fucking dead. He could barely open his eyes and he didn’t really want to because the last thing he remembered before he ended up here was being held onto a piece of the plane that had went down and he was calling for his friends. He had seen Harry get pushed under the water and never saw him come back up, his throat tightening at the thought and he swallowed thickly, groaning when he finally opened his eyes.
“--Holy fuck.” The feathery haired boy breathed, rubbing his eyes and slowly sitting up. This was definitely sand surrounding him and definitely pieces of the plane washed up here....but there was no one here that he could see. He suddenly felt far too alone for comfort and his stomach tied up into knots. Where were his friends? Where were the boys? Were they even alive? He was probably the only survivor and he was going to die out here. He slowly got to his feet and swayed a bit, he needed to find water and food fast. Plus some shelter, that wouldn’t hurt either, he was starting to get blisters from how sunburnt he was. He started hiking his way up into the jungle, his whole body shaking with fear and his stomach and chest tightening as he realized he was probably suck here until death finally got to him.
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★ five times my muse though yours looked breath-taking, and the one time they voice it.
chastc asked for this meme
Desmond/Jarryd
It all started when Desmond actually first laid eyes on the boy. The way he kept a tight hold on that stupid backpack around his shoulder — as if he actually needed a backpack on the first day of uni. Those bright eyes hidden behind long lashes screamed innocence that needed corrupting.
The second happened not long after. Upon the night of their first day together at a party, Jarryd displayed just how much he couldn’t handle his liquor. That frail, innocent little body was on display for him due to his inebriation and Des was smitten at just how powerless the kid was: both in body and in mind.
Not everyone is perfect and Des is the perfect reason why. His third time of noting Kyd’s beauty was the first time he got to look down and watch that innocent freshman take his length fully in his mouth. Such a cute, frail lad was one thing… Seeing the boy look up at him questioningly, longingly, and eagerly with puffed lips behind those damn lashes and Des was the powerless one.
The fourth is one Des will take with him to the grave. After a night that literally any other twink wouldn’t have been able to endure, Jarryd’s body was caked with scratches, bruises, and hickeys all across his light bronze skin. Des woke up first - something he never does - to the feeling of the boy laying on his side and actually cuddling into his chest with arms around his torso, hanging on for dear life as he slept. It was one of the few moments that Des let him stay cute and he might have wrapped his arm tighter around Kyd’s waist before falling back asleep.
Perhaps the fifth time is a medley of times clumped together. Every time Kyd sends a snapchat or text, either with that dumbass grin that’s dumbstruck with love or one with the boy bent over showing his assets on demand, Des proudly smirks. He’s prideful over landing a boy to control on a whim whenever he needed it and Kyd is the perfect, pure candidate that somehow never catches on that he’s being used. Every picture reminds Des of just how adorable of a toy he has.
When those feelings actually bubble forth, though, it’s a rarity. Desmond talks about his feelings just as often as he drinks due to direct correlation. A few rounds of shots at the nearby bar had him nice and liquored up for the evening and of fucking course Kyd happens to walk by as he’s leaving campus, scoring an impromptu “date” at one of the nearby diners. Yet with alcohol in his system and a pretty boy in his arm, the streetlight they pass under highlights those goddamn lashes, stupid grin, and sense of innocence that leaves Des trailing a finger under his jaw. “You know you’re the prettiest boy that’s been on this campus, right?” It’s all the compliment Kyd’s gonna get but it’s true… and it’s one that ends with Kyd’s back against the light’s pole, legs around Des’ waist, and a deepened kiss that further speaks what Des always has on his mind.
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fhaari: if you're gonna keep the dildo, at least give me back the beads.
fhaari: oh, and tell your bitch i said they're welcome.
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accents
u love me. u rly love me :’)
( 4/5 ) ONE MORE “accent”s and u get to hear my shitty voice aye !!
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SEVEN UNHEARD VOICE MESSAGES. PRESS # TO LISTEN.
( FIRST ): i'm sorry. i know you don't think i loved you, but i did. i still do. and it's like-- that's not going to go away, you know? it's who i am, and it's what it is, but... that doesn't change anything. i never lied to you, eryk. ever.
( SECOND ): you never pick up the phone when i call you. why? can you only talk to me when you're shitfaced? did it hurt that bad, eryk? call me back.
( THIRD ): you know, when i was six i watched my friend get burned with this, like, scalding hot pot of water. he was screaming and-- and i remember we had to cut the camping trip short because he had to go to the hospital. it got all over his arm and chest, and he got surgery but you can still see where the water got him. that was forever ago and he still has to look at those scars every single day of his fucking life. do you remember when i told you i was scared of fire? and how i hated lighting my own cigarette even? i think it's cos i've been trying to avoid getting burnt. i don't want to hurt myself and have to live with it for the rest of my life.
( FOURTH ): hey. i just wanted to let you know that it's okay if you don't want to be my friend. i wouldn't want to be my friend either, i don't think. hope you're okay, though. bye.
( FIFTH ): my favorite color is purple. you were my first love. i lost my virginity when i was fifteen to a girl named sylvia. the first time my dad thought i was gay he hit me so hard i knocked out. my favorite kind of cake is red velvet. the second time he thought i was gay he forced me to go out with another girl and gave me a box of condoms. her name was valerie. i couldn't get it up. i think a lot of indie acoustic music is overlooked all because it's not as catchy. um. when i was homeless i almost killed myself. you were my first love, i'm running out of time on this message, and i'm sorry i never let you get to know me.
( SIXTH ): i know i should stop calling. i'm sorry. you don't want to talk to me, and you'll probably delete this once you know it's from me, but.. do you believe in fate? like, do you think it's possible that some people are meant to find each other time and time again? do you, um-- do you think we'll get another chance?
( SEVENTH ): have you gotten over me, yet?
#chastc#fhaari & eryk#*returns the favor five years later*#tw suicide#better to be safe than sorry :/
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eryk/des. oh yes i did.
Send me a ship and I’ll tell you:
who holds the umbrella when it rains: neither. these are grown ass “men” and they’re either braving it like a boss, waiting it out, or making out in it while one’s carrying the other. they wouldn’t be caught dead with an umbrella.
who is the grumpiest in the morning: definitely eryk. dude’s got a prison-strong grumpy side that makes des’ temper pale in comparison.
who worries more when the other is sick/hurt: i think this one’s even. they’re both very minimally caring about it out loud but i’m sure they’re both anxious to make sure the other’s alright.
who plays pranks on the other: i think des would pull off “the best prank ever” first. eryk would want to defend his pride and pull one but des would continue them just to get under eryk’s skin. des would be the bigger prankster.
who is always the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa: probably des just so he can talk eryk into sex later on.
who insists on creating nicknames for the other: des, for sure. but they would be far from cute nicknames - this is the kind of shit he’d come up with just to piss eryk off to be honest.
who drools on the other when they’re asleep: eryk. des would be trapped in bed and wouldn’t be able to move away from it, either.
who says ‘I love you’ first: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. the only way i can see either of them saying those words is eryk saying them first because he’s fallen into a des mind game. poor guy.
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text ✉ pryk
Max: you left your fucking boxers at my house. & hoodie.
Max: is this supposed to be some sort of subtle way for you to come back over or...?
Max: or am i allowed to throw it away or give the dna to the cops? ;)
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💗
For every 💗 I receive I'll reveal one of my muse's turn ons.
“Easy. Big dick.”
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chastc said: liar. max t o t a l l y is gonna bottom for e r y k
ok ok, tru
but max is going to do a lot more than just bottom for him ;)
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imessage ✉ max&dita
Max: jfc do you know how hard it was to find your number?
Max: you better fuckin remember max, your best middle school bro
Max: i have something you're going to just *love*
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grindr ✉ max@eryk
max: dude. youve gotta be fucking kidding me.
max: this is eryk right??
max: last I saw you they had you in cuffs for juvie, bro.
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u know i am a fan, so fuck ya.
that’s so niceeeeeeee wtf
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