#cause then I don't know how to handle myself and get sui and it just sucks a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

joyflameball · 8 months

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"Saying suicidal people can't make kms jokes because it makes others uncomfortable is shitty, because you're focusing more on the feelings of someone who isn't suicidal than the actual suicidal person who could be crying out for help. If you're suicidal, it's your responsibility to filter shit out. Let people cope however they want."

A) SUICIDE IS TRIGGERING. This isn't a disputable thing. Suicide is triggering for so many people, especially since The World Sucks Right Now. When I say "Don't make suicide jokes because it could hurt someone," I don't mean "Suicide jokes make people uncomfortable so don't make them," I mean "Saying you're gonna kill yourself, OR WORSE, jokingly telling someone ELSE to kill themself, IS TRIGGERING and will HURT PEOPLE." Being suicidal doesn't give you a free pass to trigger other suicidal people. (And I don't know how to tell this, but you should care about other people.)

B) I agree that it's your responsibility to filter your triggers. The world can't bend around you. At some point, YOU need to be the one who handles your own triggers. But others still have a responsibility to tag for them. And a lot of the time, suicide jokes just aren't tagged. OR WORSE, something like "this makes me wanna kill myself" is put into the tags of a completely irrelevant post, or in the comments, where the OP (who for all you know could be fucking triggered by that) can't filter them, and neither can anyone scrolling in the comments! I was once in a fucking VC, and someone jokingly told me to kill myself during a playful argument.

What was I meant to do to filter that out, just PREDICT that at that moment they'd make a suicide joke?? I didn't know they'd say that! How the fuck was I MEANT to know? Sui jokes are fucking EVERYWHERE, and feel kinda unavoidable! It was one thing when they were just on Tumblr where I could unfollow people making them, but they're spreading to fucking DISCORD SERVERS I'm in!

C) ...Does making suicide jokes like. Help you??? At all?? Are there not funnier alternatives you could do? Didn't we go over this years ago when we were all like "Yeah saying you're gonna commit suicide makes your mental health worse"?

Self-deprecation makes your mental health worse. Saying you're gonna kill yourself makes your mental health worse. We've gone through this whole shebang. COPING MECHANISMS CAN BE BAD.

I know it's easy to feel skeptical of "self deprecation makes your mental health worse" because it feels similar to "Think Positive Thoughts And Your Depression Will Be Cured," so let's use an example! Me.

As someone who struggled with suicidal thoughts BEFORE sui jokes started coming back: seeing suicide jokes everywhere made them start popping up in my head, like something minor would happen and I would think "This sucks, I'm gonna kill myself." Completely coincidentally, I'm sure, my suicidal thoughts happened to come back shortly after I started doing that!

Oh wow, I wonder why after suicide jokes started popping up in my head, genuine suicidal thoughts and urges started popping up as well.

I'm serious when I say that suicide jokes actually caused my suicidal thoughts to come back. And I've pretty much gotten all suicide jokes out of my mental vocabulary, and surprise surprise, my suicidal thoughts aren't as frequent.

So yes, these things are fucking linked! Like, if someone jokingly says they're an ugly hag who will never have friends or be liked, NO ONE THINKS THAT'S A GOOD COPING MECHANISM. Sui jokes are similar, but far more triggering to everyone around you. It's not a fucking "If you think positive you won't be sad :)" thing, it's a "You're actively aiding in your own mental destruction and need to stop before it gets worse" thing.

D) Just as it's others' responsibility to filter out their triggers and curate their own experience, it's YOUR responsibility to ACTUALLY ask people for help. Going to someone and being like "Hey can I vent to you for a minute" sucks, but it's necessary. You and your friends need to be able to lean on each other- not to an unhealthy degree where you become codependent on each other of course, and don't just dump all your issues on your friend and treat them like a therapist because that's shitty. But if you don't feel like you can talk to your friends about your issues, that's not healthy either.

If you're trying to cry out for help with suicide jokes... I'm sorry to tell you, it won't work. No one wants to go to their friend be like "Hello, are you suicidal?" because that feels like overstepping. YOU need to be the one to go to your friend and say "Hey, I need help, I'm in a shitty mental state and need support right now, can you help me?"

TLDR: Suicide jokes make your mental health worse, they don't really get anything off your chest, they trigger people around you, and they don't accomplish whatever you're trying to achieve, be it a funny punchline or genuine help. If you want to reach out for help, you need to actually reach out for help. And if you wanna be funny say A) you're gonna eat drywall/floorboards/a brick, or B) say you're gonna hit someone with a bus

#cassie rambles #one day i will make one big post breaking down why sui jokes bad actually #but for now you get these mini posts ranting because i most likely saw a suicide joke untagged and it affected me #tw suicide #suicide #suicide tw #cw suicide #suicide cw #sui #sui cw #sui tw #cw sui #tw sui #tagging this with as many trigger warnings as possible because NO ONE ELSE FUCKING WILL.#long post

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