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That Don't Impress Me Much - A Brittana Fic

Summary: The blonde dancer totally knew the effect she had on her. It was so easy to rile the dark-haired woman up and as she beckoned her closer with a finger, Santana kept gazing at her lips, making it so obvious what she wanted.

She leaned closer, knowing that Santana would feel her breathing against her neck and as she expected, there was a sharp, aroused intake of breath from the Latina.

She even closed her eyes, puckering her lips as if Brittany was going to kiss her.

As if.

“My name is no. My sign is no. My number is no. You need to let it go.”

Or

Brittany is tired of being taken advantage of by selfish, egotistical jerks, so she makes a plan with her friend Tina that she can make some idiot fall for her and then ditch them after she has had her fun. Her plans backfire when she’s swept off her feet by arrogant yet surprisingly sweet celebrity Santana Lopez.

Rating: M

Read More on AO3

***This is a companion piece to my other Brittana AU fic, "My Name Is No (You Need To Let It Go),” which you can find here on tumblr or on AO3

Brittany had just about had enough of fuckboys and fuckgirls. 

There she was, sitting alone in a crummy little diner, all by her lonesome on Saturday night, her date nowhere to be found. Being the only hot, young blonde in fishnets, heels so high she was close to God, and a skirt so short it was probably illegal while surrounded by desperate bikers and hicks who licked their lips as they leered at her should have made her feel like she was walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Or maybe she should have felt the way those fish in her dad’s aquarium felt that time Lord Tubbington took up scuba diving as his new hobby. 

Instead, Brittany was unfazed. As she water-skied down the highway of life, she had seen it all. 

That one old Dolly Parton song her mother and Grandma Rose from St. Olaf used to like so much was playing in the background now. It made her pretty nostalgic for the good old days in the Pierce house. Sometimes Brittany felt this one should have been the soundtrack to her life, if she ever had to choose a replacement for “Candy” by Cameo.

Don't try to cry your way out of this

Don't try to lie or I'll catch you in it

Don't try to make me feel sorry for you

Just because I'm blonde

Don't think I'm dumb

Cause this dumb blonde ain't nobody's fool

When you left you thought I'd sit

An' you thought I'd wait

An' you thought I'd cry

You called me a dumb blonde

Ah, but somehow I lived through it

And you know if there's one thing this blonde has learned

Blondes have more fun

There was nothing Brittany loved more than sex and she knew she was the best. Hoeing was her hobby. If there were competitions for this, she would have won the Olympic Gold medal. In fact, she had won the kissing competition in Lima five years in a row easily, if that meant anything. 

Sure fuckboys and fuckgirls were kinda fun, especially when she got them in bed for the fucking part of things but a girl needed some romance in her life too. 

After the first few times, she was over them. No one could hold her interest and it seemed like she never held theirs. To them, she was always just stupid bimbo slut Brittany. Good for an easy lay but not for a relationship. 

Sure she knew she was hot but Brittany was beginning to wonder why she was never the girl who got flowers or love confessions and marriage proposals made to her. She was never the girl who got her happily ever after.  

All she wanted was a cowboy to ride her off into the sunset. 

“Tina, he just left me,” She sobbed into the phone as she heard Mike muttering something to his girlfriend in the background that vaguely sounded like him asking where Brittany was. “I’m at the Little Alien Inn!”

So now she was crying because she got ditched again. 

“Bad bitches don’t cry.” 

At least, that was what Tina told her when she and Mike stopped by to take her home but Brittany wasn’t so sure she was a bad bitch at that moment. 

Mike and Tina each grabbed one of her arms, all about dragging her out of the diner in her bra and skirt when she had started to take off her clothes and perform a strip show on top of a table as she often did. 

“You must think I’m such a mess.” Brittany sobbed, mascara running down her cheeks. Tina and Mike who were accustomed to picking up Brittany from sleazy bars and motels weren’t particularly surprised by any of this. 

“Oh Britt, it’s not you. It’s that vile idiot. You don’t need any of them! Just be your hot girl self. You’re an independent woman who don’t need no man or woman! Hot girl summer and all that.” 

Brittany wasn’t so sure about that at the moment. She felt like a codependent woman who was very much in need of a man or woman. 

“Maybe Room Temperature Girl Summer?” 

Tina shook her head, a long-suffering expression on her face, snorting out an incredulous, unladylike laugh as she passed another tissue to the blonde. She was so accustomed to Brittany’s oddball personality that she had come to expect comments like that from her. Apparently noticing that her tall, blonde friend was moping the night away on their couch with a pout on her face, she took pity on her. 

“Here’s an idea: make a game out of it. Make some fuckboy go all crazy for you next time and then you ditch them when you’ve had your fun and laugh in their face.” 

“Oh this, I’d pay to see.” Mike chimed in from across the room. 

A mischievous smile tugged at the corners of Brittany’s lips as she thought her friends were making a good point. 

That night, something hardened inside of her and changed for her.

Tina was right, it was time she had some more self-respect and Brittany began to realize how much more she was worth than just a quick lay in the backseat of someone’s car until they moved on to the next girl. 

——

She got her confidence back pretty quickly because if there was one thing about Brittany it was that she didn’t stay depressed for long.  

So the next week she was slinking around The Pussy Cat with feline-like confidence and agility, ignoring the men who gawked at her, hissing and cat-calling as she passed by. She didn’t have a care in the world. 

Who cared about girlfriends and boyfriends? She was just there to have fun with her friends. So that’s what she was going to do. 

She was having such a great time that she really did forget about her troubles.

Then she felt her burning gaze on her from across the room. The stranger in question was a Latina with black hair, equally dark eyes, glowing dark skin, and a very slim but toned build. Her long hair fell in perfectly tousled dark waves. 

She didn’t take her eyes off of Brittany once and had her jaw dropped as she took in the sight of the blonde. The blonde had never seen such a clear demonstration of “undressing someone with your eyes” in action.

Brittany couldn’t deny that the woman had this powerful, commanding aura about her. 

She paid absolutely no mind to it, humming to herself as she twirled around and rolled her body perfectly in time with the beat. Then she sauntered back to her friends, giggling to herself as she thought of something her cat had done the night before. 

Sugar tapped her on the shoulder. 

“Oh Britt, you’ve got another admirer. That one is checking you out so hard. She looks like she’s drooling. I can see her boner from over here… ” 

Brittany’s friends began to snicker obnoxiously. The blonde smirked and shrugged. It was super obvious that the painfully horny brunette was checking her out the entire time, muttering “Humina, humina,” but Brittany wasn’t bothered one way or another.

“Oh, okay. I just want to dance.” 

Tina, Sugar, Marley, and the others were gawking at her. Sugar eventually piped up.  

“Don’t you know who that is?! It’s Santana Lopez.”

“Who?”

“Brittany! How do you not know? She’s a celebrity! She was on Bad Girls Club.”

“Oh.”

“She’s openly lesbian too.”

“No duh. I could tell,” Brittany stated dryly, remembering how that woman had stared at her legs and ass. Come to think of it, Santana was still doing that. Brittany shook her head, rolling her eyes fondly at her friend. Sugar was always trying to matchmake her with someone and that girl knew everything about celebrities. She looked down at her nails, inspecting the pale pink polish on them while she knew Santana was checking her out again. “Uh, whatever. So not interested.” 

She definitely wasn’t looking for anyone that night but if she managed to torment them, then that was a bonus. Men and some women always seemed to assume that if Brittany was dancing, it meant she was looking for a partner. 

“What’s all that noise?” Brittany spoke up, hearing a bit of a commotion. “It’s kind of annoying.” 

It turned out that the woman who had been checking her out was being totally loud and obnoxious now. She laughed really loudly, banging her fist on the table and being a total show-off. She threw back drinks until she was visibly red in the face. Then she started to sing as she got up on the table, drawing a crowd until some short woman with a serious expression pulled her back down before she embarrassed herself. She clearly thought she was so desirable and hot. 

She probably thought that Brittany didn’t notice how she kept sneaking glances in her direction. A sly smirk came to Brittany’s lips. This woman was such a goofy dork and she was extremely obvious. Brittany had never seen someone who tried so, so hard and was so painfully lacking in self-awareness. 

It was almost cute. 

Brittany knew this woman’s type just from looking at her. She was also a little psychic. 

She could tell this stranger was such a stereotypical arrogant womanizer with an ego the size of a small planet and thought of women as nothing more than warm bodies. She was so vain, she probably looked at herself in every reflective surface she passed. She was so selfish and spoiled that she thought the world revolved around her. 

She was totally Brittany’s type. 

She didn’t need her though. She was done with playboys forever. 

At least that’s what she told herself when she followed her friends over to the bar. She taken a few sips from the strawberry daiquiri in her hand when she began to blink in confusion as a margarita was placed in front of her. 

“It’s from that lady over there. She sent this and she asked me to tell you that you’re stunning.” 

“Aw, that’s sweet. Tell her I’m so not interested.” Brittany quipped with a sassy flip of her long wavy hair. 

Brittany glanced over her shoulder to see Santana waving and giving her this smug smile that made these stupid, cute dimples deepen on both of her cheeks.

Tina and her other friends were just watching her with amusement as Brittany continued to ignore Santana. All of her friends clearly found this so hilarious, though they were supporting her in her decision to completely ignore all the perverts and fuckboys who were trying to get her. 

“Wow, Santana’s really going for it. Looks like someone’s dying for your attention.” Mike chuckled. 

“Ugh, here we go. I so don’t care. She’s just horny. Why do they always see a woman sitting alone and assume she wants a companion?” The sass was dripping from Brittany’s voice as she tossed her hair back over her shoulder and curled her lip, ignoring the drink Santana sent her. “Newsflash, no thanks.” 

Santana kept giving her the eye no matter how much Brittany made it clear that she wasn’t going to fall into her arms. Ugh, Brittany rolled her eyes with exasperation and amusement, couldn’t Ms. Egotistical take a hint?

Apparently not. 

“Oh don’t look now, here she comes. She got it bad.” Sugar snorted as everyone began to chuckle at the sight of Santana Lopez swaggering over with her shoulders thrown back.

Brittany had to hand it to her, the woman was the only one who had been brave enough to approach her like this all night. 

Too bad the blonde was so not in the mood. 

Brittany was feeling bitchy. She knew the routine by now. They all wanted to know her name, her number, her sign… Brittany was curious about whatever sleazy pick-up line Ms. Arrogant was going to give her and she didn’t disappoint. 

Santana had this stupid, cute cheesy smirk on her face and her teeth were gleaming white. 

She was so typical Hollywood sleaze.  

“Hi. You’re gorgeous,” Okay, she was starting off being a little charming with that opening line, Brittany had to admit but she just knew the sleaze would be coming next. “Dayum, Girl. Where’d you learn to dance like that? Who you dancing like that for looking all hot like that?”

Not for you, Jerk :) That’s for sure. 

“What I want to know is, what time them legs open?” 

Like I haven’t heard that one a million times before… 

It was so lame. Even though she was in stunned disbelief, Brittany couldn’t help but notice Santana now and she gave it back to her with a sassy comeback of her own. 

“Oh, is that supposed to be a pick up line?” 

Brittany was beginning to wonder if Santana had ever actually flirted with a woman before, far less managed to pick up one. There was a flash of lust in her dark eyes when Brittany said that and she looked as if she was about to combust on the spot. 

“So, you know, I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?”

Brittany could barely hold back her laugh, cupping a hand over her mouth as she rolled her eyes. Santana continued to puff up her chest and peacock around her, as if she expected Brittany to be totally impressed. 

“Ooo, is it hot in here, or is it just you?”

She could not be for real. This was the great, powerful celebrity Santana Lopez her friends were in awe of? She really thought she was charming the dress off of Brittany with those corny lines.

Brittany couldn’t wait to tell Tina about this later. She knew her friend would be laughing about it forever. 

“Ooo, I’m in trouble.”

Santana as always, was unfazed by Brittany’s ice cold, dismissive attitude. The preppy blonde decided to tease her even more, getting close and poking her finger into Santana’s chest confidently. Brittany couldn’t deny that the way Santana’s eyebrows rose and her lips parted as if she was flustered by the blonde invading her personal space amused her to no end. 

“Oh that’s how it is, huh? What’s your name, Pretty Girl?” 

Anytime Brittany was snippy towards her, the woman looked at her with obvious arousal written all over her face. She was pushing back her dark hair, trying so, so hard to look all cool and suave but she had this stupid, goofy look of excitement on her face that made it difficult for Brittany not to start giggling. She had to cover her hand over her mouth as she laughed in her face. 

The more Brittany acted all aloof and mysterious, the more she turned on Ms. Egomaniac. She swore she saw the woman clenching her thighs together when Brittany gave another sassy response to her. 

Brittany had been one of the most popular cheerleaders at school and homecoming queen. She knew how to handle vain, uncouth Santana Lopez types. 

Except she had never met anyone quite as hot as Santana before. 

Now that she was so physically close to Santana, she couldn’t stop herself from checking the girl out, noticing that she was slightly shorter than her with a toned, slim build that the simple black dress she was wearing displayed so well. Brittany couldn’t help but notice the slight muscle tone in her arms and how radiant her brown skin was. 

Santana gave her another smug look, as if she could tell that Brittany liked what she saw. Whatever. If she thought Brittany was just going to give in to her, she had another thing coming. 

If there was one thing Brittany knew, it was flirting. 

She learned it straight from her blonde, buxom mother, the original harlot and heartbreaker of Lima in her day before she had settled down. If she wanted to, she could get this girl into bed, easy as ABC. 

Brittany didn’t even have to try and that’s exactly why she wasn’t gonna let her get what she wanted so easily. 

The blonde dancer totally knew the effect she had on her. It was so easy to rile the dark-haired woman up and as she beckoned her closer with a finger, Santana kept gazing at her lips, making it so obvious what she wanted. 

She leaned closer, knowing that Santana would feel her breathing against her neck and as she expected, there was a sharp, aroused intake of breath from the Latina.

She even closed her eyes, puckering her lips as if Brittany was going to kiss her. 

As if.

“My name is no. My sign is no. My number is no. You need to let it go.”

She couldn’t stop giggling at the sight of Santana frozen in place with her lips sticking out, clearly not expecting this turn of events as Brittany just sang that song to her. 

No kisses for you, Hot Shot, She smiled to herself. 

Talk about embarrassing. How was Ms. Big Shot Movie Star ever gonna recover from that one? 

Brittany was a professional dancer and she could easily outdo everyone in the club but that didn’t seem to stop Santana from trying to keep up with her. She began to dance beside her energetically as Temperature by Sean Paul played. 

“You’re cocky. That’s how you dance?” Brittany was in stunned disbelief yet again, amused by the way Santana was being so ridiculous. She was clearly trying so hard to impress her and it was having the opposite effect. Santana was being such a clown and people around them were starting to give them strange looks. 

“You like that, huh, Babe?” The woman was all up on her, her arm settling around her waist as she husked into her ear. “You want all up on this, don’t you? I’ll make you feel so good, Princess. Trust me. I’ll make you scream my name.” 

Santana’s voice was so hazy and raspy. Brittany felt heat rush to her face, right up her neck to her ears, shocked by what she heard… and kind of intrigued. Santana couldn’t really think Brittany would give in just from that locker room talk. She didn’t want Santana to see how affected she was by her comment but of course, Santana saw everything. 

Apparently the woman noticed the blush on Brittany’s face too and she was amused. 

“Is that so?” She challenged, making sure to flutter her eyelashes.

“You bet. I think we should get to know each other better. Preferably with way less clothes on.”

Was that the best Santana had? 

“Hmm, oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? What else?”

“Roses are red, violets are fine. You be a six and I’ll be a nine.”

Santana might have been the funniest person to ever exist. She couldn’t be for real. 

“Mm hm. Is that all?” 

The celebrity began to tell her all about what she wanted to do with her when she got her in bed, making her appreciation for Brittany’s ass obvious. She wasn’t expecting her to grind up on her like that. The feeling of Santana’s hips moving against hers and her husky voice against her ear made it kind of hard for her to remember that she wasn’t supposed to give in to her.

She was such a horny jerk and Brittany’s jaw dropped in disbelief at how crude she was being as the blush in her cheeks intensified.

Santana was just a little too excited, acting as if she was entitled to getting into Brittany’s pants and that just wouldn’t do. At least not until Brittany was ready for that. If she decided she wanted her. Brittany was gonna have to remind her to back off a little until she wined and dined her enough - if Brittany deigned to allow her to. 

She wagged a finger. 

“Nuh uh. I don’t think so.” 

She needed to extract herself from Santana’s arms. So she raised her knee the way she saw on a TV show about women defending themselves from muggers and got her right up in the area between her legs. 

Not in a fun way either. 

Santana’s eyes went comically wide in stunned disbelief and she took a tumble on her ass. 

“Did I do that? Oops! My Bad!” She giggled with faux-innocence, not meaning a word of it. 

Brittany walked back over to her friends victoriously as they clapped and cheered for her. In fact, almost the entire club had stopped to watch the whole spectacle as Santana struggled to regain her dignity. 

“Brittany, I am so proud of you. You are the ultimate boss, oh my God!” Tina congratulated her then turned back to her phone. “Santana Lopez getting clamslammed and kneed right in the vagina by a mystery woman is already trending on Twitter.” 

“You’re not leaving with her?” Sugar looked shocked when the blonde waltzed over, making her exit. Brittany not going home with someone, especially someone like Santana, was about as rare as a blue moon.  “This never happens. She’s just your type. She’s rich, super famous, good-looking, shallow, dumb…” 

“Not really. She’s gonna have to try harder if she wants all of this.” Brittany flipped her hair over her shoulder with complete confidence and sass, gesturing to the curves of her body. She knew Santana could hear her. Santana blinked at her stupidly a few times, apparently disoriented by her hotness. 

She turned just in time to see Santana limping over to her pathetically. 

Brittany was confused. Why was Santana gazing at her in fascination, as if Brittany was the most gorgeous, entrancing being she had ever encountered even though her groin and ego were in a world of hurt?

“What’s your name?”

Maybe it was because Santana was so cute but Brittany couldn’t help but flirt a little despite herself. Maybe she didn’t want their game to be over just yet. They were both sweaty and flushed, somewhat breathless from all the dancing. 

“You need to let it go,” She teased, watching Santana closely as the woman attempted to regain her composure and act like she was unaffected. “It’s Brittany.” 

____

That would be far from the last she saw of Ms. Can't Take No For An Answer, even if she had humiliated her. 

She had never met anyone quite as determined and persistent as Santana Lopez. 

Apparently, when the Empress of the Universe wanted something, she always got her way and she wasn’t accustomed to being told “No.” 

Apparently Santana was really into the whole prissy mean girl side of Brittany.

She was also the most obvious person on the face of the planet. Brittany snorted when Tina sent her a link to a new article. The headline was pretty interesting. 

Santana Lopez Dedicates New Hit Single to Mystery Blonde - Who is “Brittany from The Pussy Cat?”

A video of her giving Santana a swift knee upward to the vaginal area had gone viral as well. 

Even Santana’s hardcore fans were amused by it all. 

Brittany noticed that Santana had left a bunch of comments on her thirst traps, making it extremely clear what she thought of them. The internet was going crazy making fun of how lusty and obsessed Santana was being but that hadn’t seemed to deter the woman either, despite Brittany ignoring all of her attempts to hit on her. 

That Brittany S. Pierce must have some Grade A Prime Pussy for Santana to be simping this hard for her… 

“Jesus Christ, the thirst,” Tina chuckled as Mike, Marley and Sugar couldn’t stop giggling beside her on the couch in the blonde’s apartment when she showed them her phone screen. They read yet another private message the woman sent to Brittany that was strongly suggesting what she wanted to do with her. “Goddamn. She really wants you.” 

“She’s just horny for me. She’ll get over it.” 

I’m just another conquest for her… 

“Be honest, do you think she’s attractive?” Sugar asked, raising an eyebrow. “At all?” 

She had watched all of Santana’s scenes on Bad Girls Club several times, looked at a bunch of her magazine photoshoots - she figured she needed to do her research, after all - and she even loved her songs that flopped.  That didn’t mean anything though. Santana Lopez was just a silly pompous rich girl just like the rest of them. 

“I mean, if you’re into the whole disgruntled, awkward cat aesthetic maybe. Her upper lip kinda reminds me of a duck.” She deflected. 

Everyone laughed as she said this. 

“You definitely should stay away from her. I know Santana well and she’s a total arrogant jerk. She thinks of women as disposable objects.” 

“Oh, is she?” Brittany snorted sarcastically. “That’s a shocker. Don’t worry, Tina, believe me you don’t have to worry about me falling for her.” 

Brittany’s apartment was so very pink and decorated in such an eccentric way that most people were a little taken aback when they walked in for the first time.

Eventually, her entire living space became crowded with bouquets of pink flowers Santana had sent to her address. She sent ridiculously expensive jewellery, chocolates, and dresses. Brittany didn’t even know how she figured out all of Brittany’s favourite colours and things like that but she wasn’t about to get rid of them… she liked expensive gifts. 

She never responded to any of Santana’s gifts, knowing it would drive her insane. Santana got her number from Tina and Mike, who were their mutual friends. Truth be told, Tina had always found Santana annoying anyway and they were more like frenemies as that feeling was mutual, so she was happy to assist Brittany in her plan to troll Santana.

Brittany answered Santana’s calls just enough to toy with her and keep her guessing, then ignored her whenever she felt like it. 

It was all part of her plan. 

“What am I supposed to do with all of this stuff?” The blonde whined halfheartedly as Lord Tubbington knocked over the growing pile of chocolate boxes. 

“You could send it back if you really don’t want it.” Mike suggested with a shrug. 

“I would… but pink diamonds are really nice,” Brittany pouted. “I might need another dress too.”

“This almost sounds like one of those sugar daddy type of situations,” The man shook his head at her, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I’m not surprised, since it’s you after all.” 

“Except, she won’t be getting any sugar.” Britt winked. Tina smirked at her in agreement, giving her a high five. 

“You are the queen of manipulation. You’re really gonna get this woman to spend herself bankrupt, aren’t you? Yes, Girl. I say, use all the power you have to your advantage. Stress that fuckgirl out. Make her work for it, Britt. Make her suffer!” 

Sugar, Marley and Jake fell silent, taken aback by the short, gothic woman. Mike glanced over with a nervous expression as he heard Tina’s words, followed by her evil cackle. 

“You’re torturing the shit out of her! I love it. Get it, Girl.” 

Brittany felt proud. 

“Hey, if she wants all this she’s gonna have to work for it.” 

“Hey, Britt, I think there’s someone at your door. Must be another delivery from Ms. Egomaniac.” Sugar chimed in. 

The tall blonde just shrugged, traipsing over and eventually returning with a new parcel. Brittany blushed reddish pink up to her ears, gasping at a new, skimpy lingerie set that she unwrapped. She held up the light blue, lacy lingerie as her friends began to wolf whistle jokingly and some of them made gagging noises. 

Against her better judgment, she answered Santana’s call when that familiar number flashed on her phone a few minutes later. 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve sending this,” She sniffed, trying to sound bitchy and cold as she told her off. “Do you really think that’s appropriate? You horny bastard.” 

Santana was laughing down the line. She was actually laughing, that cheeky bitch. 

“You like it, Babe? Gonna put it on and model it just for me, Querida?”

“I am not your Querida.” 

She did like the lingerie a lot but Santana didn’t need to know that. If her ego got any bigger it would probably explode. 

She hung up before Santana could answer. Deep down, she knew Santana would love that response even more. 

****Read the rest of this story on AO3

im a huge feminist but nothing excites me more than being manipulated and degraded andhumiliated abd thrown around by mean jojo men especially jotaro.. i juts want him to put me in my place and tell me what a stupid bitch i am (♡_♡) its kinda funny bc it goes against my whole personality and what i stand for but i want to be taken advantage of by someone bc theyre so much smarter than me

The awesome thing about fantasy is that you can fantasize about scenarios like that and still maintain your values! Being roughed up and degraded by a man seriously turns me on. Or, on other end of the spectrum, humiliating and talking down to a pretty girl and seeing her get all flustered is. So. Hot. I’m sure that Jotaro can relate! (`･ω･´)

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: unhealthy relationships, boss/employee dynamic, verbal abuse, dub con, misogyny. 18+ only 

please heed the warnings!

Having Jotaro manipulate you and put you in your place is so sexy. He overexplains everything like you were just born yesterday. Not to mention you’ve been working for the Speedwagon Foundation for five years. He'll also mock you if you say something dumb, usually mimicking your feminine voice in a comedic way. He freely calls you stupid, and a bitch, and everything else to insult your low intelligence. And yet, it makes you so wet.

On one occasion, Jotaro cornered you in his office after you made a mistake in some paperwork for the Foundation. He towered over you, a shadow cast over his eyes while he considered you. "Stupid little whore. Don’t you understand the importance of these reports? Pay attention for once. You don't want to make me mad again."

Last time you upset him, he sat in his office chair and bent you over his lap before spanking your ass raw. It caught you off guard but you loved every moment of it, even as tears threatened to spill at the corners of your eyes. Part of you was definitely wanting to make him mad again. You brattily jerked your arm out of his grasp. "S-Shut up!" you replied oh so eloquently, your face burning up from standing up to him.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" His gravelly voice made your heart race faster.

"Y-You heard me!" you replied, crossing your arms and pouting.

"What is it with you women?" he said condescending, pushing you up against a nearby wall. "So emotional for no reason. You have nothing to be mad about." The more he spoke, the closer he got to you. He stopped when you were nose-to-nose, his icy blue eyes trained on you. You knew that you had every right to be upset from his abuse. Or did you? Maybe you truly had nothing to fret over.

"I'm sorry, Jotaro..." you said slowly, hanging your head.

"Look at me." You obeyed, looking up, before his lips crashed against yours. You squeaked, taken aback, but leaned in eagerly. He held your smaller body against his, his strong arms curling around you. His kiss was rough and domineering. It felt more like an assault than anything, but you were just happy that he was giving you attention. 

Suddenly, he pulled away from the kiss. Your eyes darted down to see how rosy and shiny his lips were. The sight made your knees buckle underneath you. Your entire body was pounding in sync with your heartbeat as he grabbed your waist and spun you around. Pinning you to the wall easy, he twisted an arm behind your back. With Jotaro’s strength, he could easily hurt you. However, his grip was loose enough to not cause serious damage but firm enough to tell you that he wasn’t playing around. Cheek pressed to the wall, you whimpered as you felt his lips brush against the shell of your ear. His breath was hot--so fucking hot--against your skin that it gave you goosebumps. 

Jotaro played you like an instrument. You knew that you shouldn’t let him string you along however he likes. And yet, you enjoyed having his hands on you, guiding your body to do what he pleases. Being controlled by someone smarter, stronger, and quicker than you was comforting in a strange way. So, you were perfectly content when Jotaro reached under your skirt and ripped off your panties like they were nothing. Happiness bubbled inside you when he helped himself to your pretty pussy without a care in the world. 

Do you want Villainous to have a season 2

Idk and, frankly, I don't know if I care that much. I know they had that slight cliffhanger ending, but like....I still don't know what the heck the show is really about. Yeah, I know the formula of the show, but is that it? I'm not saying that you can't have fun with that, just that it would get repetitive after a while.

Plus, all the stuff that we've seen with the secrets are often just hidden or shoved to the background. I feel like Podemos Bailar is just taken over by PEACE, which, again, is fine. But I still don't see the threat of either. Again, up against a literal eldritch that can pretty much end you without trying. Not that it matters because they win pretty much by dumb luck or 505 existing. Like what if Demencia got sucked away like the others in the Airlock (butch zero suit Samus) episode or that Airlock remembered that she can patch up holes? ....Are they just fucked or would BH come and end it?

Also, a lot of the secrets are in Spanish or are hidden away, so if you're just a casual and English viewer...You're gonna be at a loss. The stuff going on with Heed could've been built-up with the end credits for those that had no idea she even existed, especially in VVV. I mean, there were so many civilians and villains in one area. Seems like a smart idea. Plus, you can add Phantom running away cause he knows who she is. They just don't take advantage of it and it alienates those that have no idea what's going on.

Yes, they could go to this blog and then go to this website and blah blah, but why not put this information in the show? It doesn't even have to be at the forefront, just somewhere. The show really clings on you being in the fandom, which, again, alienates new viewers.

TL;DR: With so much information being hidden or pushed back and heroes being taken down easily, I dont really see what a second season would be about. Either they repeat the structure again (5 eps being episodic with the last being story-driven) or they don't. I just feel like this show has an identity crisis and some issues with the plot being poorly executed. I know it's a little unfair to judge a show by one season, but it's also been 5 years and I still can't tell you what exactly it's about.

my view on Lucio's route

@ all the Lucio stans, are yall okay???? (Long rant ahead because yeah and some cursing if you're uncomfortable with cursing)

Anyways, I just decidedly (and impulsively) play Lucio's few updated chapters yesterday. And oh man, am I in fucking "love", and here's why: as someone who gets really intense with relationships, I tend to take things too quickly and I'm always a slut for affection. If someone shows me affection, I will fall very deeply in love. It doesnt really help that he just showers the apprentice with as much love and tender touches as possible (I spent all my God damn coins I had saved up for Muriel's next update just to be "loved" bro). As a Asra/Muriel/Julian stan, I really do feel guilty that I'm playing Lucio's route and decide to be a fucking slut. From the routes before, Lucio is always depicted as an asshole (esp. in Asra's and Muriel's, so much as to show he "killed" Asra's parents and forced Muriel to be a gladiator and forced him to kill just for Lucio's entertainment.) I always had a deep hatred for the goatman for making my babies lives a living hell.

Aside from this, they make him seem like such a good guy in his own route. And I got to thinking, did the devs to this on purpose to show how much of an egotistical asshole Lucio is by showing us how he views himself? He always praises and showers the apprentice with love when they first meet and basically fuck not a few chapters later. Is this to show that he's so much of a narcissist that he doesnt want the MC to view him as a bad man for all the shit he's done? Of course he's lonely! But he's lonely for a damned good reason!!

Comparing Lucio to a certain person I know is like them looking at eachother in a mirror (might I add that this person really hurt a friend of mine so fucking bad. Then there's the group's dumbass to go and defend him)! They both caused harm to the people we care about, they both have pity parties because boohoo I fucked up and now I'm all alone!, and they both always try to blame others for their own problems or for the fucking choices they made/make!! And there's some choices in there that always defend Lucio/have his back and tell him he didnt do anything wrong when everyone else around know differently. This is what fucked me up the most the more I thought about it. Because he shows a different side to MC, MC is more vulnerable to be taken advantage of and turn MC against everyone. (Now that I'm adding this last part, I could theorize this is how the reversed ending could go: Lucio manipulating MC to turn against their friends.)

And as someone who tends to give love away way too easily, Lucio can take advantage of an MC like this. An MC who is very much so generous and selfless with their love. Because as one like this, we dont usually get the same amount of love we gave away. So when someone comes into our lives and call us sweet names and shower us with gifts and hugs and shit, we technically devote our selves to them! With someone vulnerable from having so much heartbreak, Lucio can take advantage of that. Do you think he really loves the MC? I feel like he's just taking advantage of MC's help and would leave them laying on the Lazaret if it meant getting into more power again and getting his own body back.

As much as I really like all the affection in his route, I cant shake aside how much of an asshole Lucio is. He always gets so jumpy and nervous when you ask him to admit his wrongs. He tries to change the subject and try to make you believe he's a good person who's just so misunderstood! (*cough* just like our dumbass friend who just went up and straight up went out with this dude, not being fucking considerate of our friends feelings!)

In a way, I'm kind of shitting on Lucio's route (and maybe some hardcore stans) because he's just so comparable to a narcissist and a fucking perpetrator! And that's what he technically is, admitting it or not.

What broke my heart the most when playing Lucio's route is the way Asra had responded:

As much as he didnt/doesnt want MC binding themselves with blood magic to Lucio, he still cares about the MC's feelings. Asra basically fucking admits he feels guilty for not watching out for the MC!! He blames himself because he cares about MC going out with Lucio McFuckface. (I'm getting angrier by the minute as I talk about how much of an asshole Lucio is.)

Lucio always blames Asra for not being there when he needed him, always disappearing when he needed him. Lucio is a grown fucking man, he doesnt need to be a bitch baby to Asra. Lucio always takes the opportunity and chance when given just to blame Asra. Got lost in the spiritual world? Oh, it's Asra's fault for dragging us here!! There's a wyrm chasing us through the forest because I didnt keep up my end of the deal (mind you, he sacrificed his OWN dad's heart and almost had his mom's)? It's probably Asra who sent him to kill us!! The devil's chasing after us because, again, I'm a dumb bitch baby who couldnt keep my end of the deal AGAIN?? Damn you, Asra for tricking me into thinking it'd be easy to get a body for me!!

I should probably end my ranting here before it gets even more lengthy and I break my God damn phone.

Where do you find other kinky people? I've dated a string of very vanilla people but I'm ready to get wild--i just don't know where to look

all right i have a couple different answers to this, but the problem is that i live in a big, liberal city (austin), and it seems like both queer people and kinky people are fuckin everywhere, so this advice may be absolutely useless anywhere else 

a) i have met the vast majority of people i know who i did not meet at work or on tumblr IN MY ENTIRE LIFE on okcupid. i have been using okcupid since i was so young i had to lie about my age (and was still in kansas, but that was pre-kink). i’ve met long term partners, kinky flings, Just Friends, casual dates, asexual relationships, NSA sex including threesomes, on okcupid. 

b) everyone flips out when i say this but i’ve met a LOT of people on craigslist for hookups 

c) i only had tinder for a brief time and i THINK the only person i met off of that was a vanilla dude who i dated for several months and is now a very good friend -- and, btw, i introduced to bdsm and he’s totally bummed he doesn’t have that in his life rn. BUT i think this could be useful for that purpose too 

d) LOCAL MEETUP??? try to find a local bdsm/kink facebook group, or check on fetlife to see if there’s a group geared towards people in your area. i, personally, hate groups of strangers, so this is NOT for me, but there’s a bdsm group here that hosts educational seminars, play parties, and social happy hour gatherings (which, yes, are often called munches). if you have a local fetish store, they might have classes or meetups or resources for such a thing. 

e) i assume you know about fetlife but.. yeah.. fetlife... whatever

***THE MOST IMPORTANT THING***

whether you are interested in domming or subbing, but ESPECIALLY if you are interested in subbing for a male dom, you are going to run across a lot of fucking creepy slimy fuckheads who a) are just abusers calling themselves doms or b) learned everything THEY know about bdsm from porn, which is worse than learning everything you know from fic. 

you should always be careful about who you’re meeting and revealing your deets to on the internet, especially if you’re a woman, and even people who mean well can easily be... misled.... by misconceptions about bdsm

for example, i slept a couple times with a guy who, we had talked via text etc a lot and seemed to be into really interesting things, but when we actually hooked up there were things that made me uncomfortable -- i was concerned he was not fully respecting my boundaries and i also thought he was probably into more humiliation type play than i am, which is fine except means we’re not compatible if he can’t shelf that, so after a few times i decided to cut him off. he asked why, and i explained both those things to him 

he was legitimately bummed out, because he thought he was doing what i -- an “experienced” submissive or w/e -- wanted from a dom. that’s fucking dumb of him, but i don’t want to see inexperienced subs and inexperienced doms getting together and causing havoc on each other bc neither of them know how to talk effectively about this. 

...and i don’t want anyone taken advantage by doms who claim to be experienced and hold that over your head if you are unsure if this is what you want

i think i am ok at weeding the assholes out, because the majority of my sexual experiences (--and as mentioned, i’ve hooked up with over 50 people, most of whom i met online) have been... fine. i’ve had plenty of mediocre sex, sure, but only a couple times have i actively wished i could get out my time turner and stop that from happening, and most of it was a good time, even if we decided we were ultimately not the most compatible 

but you’ve GOT to be careful, and you’ve got to be determined that YOU DON’T NEED DICKPICFAKEDOM69696969 who just told you you’re not submissive enough, because out there is someone who will cane you until you cry and still respect you as a person. 

EVEN IF YOU DO LIKE TO BE DEGRADED SEXUALLY, DO NOT let any “doms” talk to you disrespectfully before you are even in a sexual situation. if they message you and start out telling you what a piece of shit ugly pig whore you are without even saying “hi how are ya,” block them. that’s not someone who recognizes you as a human person first and foremost, and when you’re giving someone the option of doing violence to you, you want to feel pretty sure that you’re in the hands of someone who is control of themselves. 

i guess my advice would be very similar to new doms -- know that you have the responsibility to control yourself and maintain respect for the submissive AS A HUMAN BEING, even if you are also enjoying causing violence. it’s ok if you like to hit people or order them around! it’s ok if you like to be hit or ordered around! but regardless of your role, you deserve and should expect to be treated well, whatever that looks like to you, and you should do the same to your partner. 

(i’m very, very intoxicated at this point, so ending this here and just praying to dom!jesus that this is vaguely coherent at some point) 

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Where you been lately? Joe: I just got some good shit in Joe: Come over Ronnie: Around Ronnie: You want coordinates? Ronnie: Who from? Joe: So mysterious Joe: just a clue Joe: been bored Joe: I went down Tavy Bridge Joe: Happy? Ronnie: devil's in the details you deviant Ronnie: a who not a where like Ronnie: reserving judgement til i get my taste Ronnie: trust you as far as I cba to throw you, mckenna Joe: could say the same of what i asked you but likewise, cba Joe: can hardly afford for it to be bad down that way, can they? but its that turkish bloke, never heard him called anything but boss Ronnie: got me interested Ronnie: how much you get Joe: more than you got by the sounds of Ronnie: touchy Ronnie: missed you too cunt Joe: right Joe: believe that when i see it baby Ronnie: you want a show, yeah? Ronnie: Must be bored Ronnie: Shoulda joined us. You'd have been about it I reckon. Was good Joe: I am, got a mountain of work to do and no will to do it Joe: Distractions needed Joe: I don't need an 'us' to have a good time Joe: but glad you had fun Ronnie: You know that's what I'm good for, baby Ronnie: take your medicine Ronnie: you'd have had a good time with her Ronnie: Tick another sister off the list like Ronnie: she's a better fuck than I reckoned she'd be Joe: No arguments here Joe: bring a lighter I've exhausted all of mine Joe: What are you talking about? Ronnie: Worn 'em out on your skin again you fuck Ronnie: State Ronnie: I'm talkin bout the princess bowing down to fitzy and me Ronnie: hell of a night Joe: Yeah don't know where I'm gonna shoot up now Joe: Oh well, I'll find a way Joe: Bullshit Joe: You're as sick in the head as me Ronnie: Get creative Ronnie: Plenty of veins Ronnie: And she's the sickest of the lot Ronnie: Believe it Joe: Your genius knows no bounds Joe: I don't Joe: Why would she do that? Ronnie: Fuck off Ronnie: Why not? Ronnie: Name a better fuck than yours truly Joe: 'Cos you and Charlie bragging is not a good enough reason to fuck up your life to find out if its unfounded Joe: Nah Ronnie: you want pics pervert Ronnie: it happened and she loved it Joe: No Joe: What the fuck Joe: If it did Joe: why would YOU do that? Ronnie: Why the fuck wouldn't I? Joe: because she's off-limits Joe: for fuck's sake Joe: what's wrong with you? Ronnie: not to me Ronnie: you're such a pussy Ronnie: cry it out Ronnie: how long you got? Joe: yes to you Joe: jesus christ Joe: you're not allowed to do that Joe: and you can forget coming over to mooch off my stash Joe: fuck! Ronnie: who the fuck says? she didn't Ronnie: I can do whatever the fuck I want Ronnie: get with the fucking program, mckenna Ronnie: you dont tell me shit Joe: She's a kid Joe: a fucked up one at that Joe: you wouldn't be happy if someone took advantage of Bronson like that Ronnie: what do you know bout it you doss cunt Ronnie: she ain't been a kid since her grandaddy raped her Ronnie: I've never taken advantage of anything but her student loans Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I was there, I fucking remember, and I've known her longer than you have Joe: You shouldn't have done it and you know it Joe: Dead wrong Joe: Charlie too Ronnie: You knew her Ronnie: you don't know shit now Ronnie: she came to us Ronnie: to get what she needed Joe: And you do? Joe: Don't front like you care about what she needs really Joe: You're full of shit Ronnie: I'm not trying to know her Ronnie: Or pretend to care Ronnie: I could give a fuck Ronnie: It ain't that deep Ronnie: It was one night Joe: For you Joe: My Brother is probably gonna fucking leave her Joe: You just wanted to help her fuck up her life Joe: 'cos you hate 'em all, right? Ronnie: Can't blame her if that's what she wanted Ronnie: well rid of that cunt] Ronnie: i did her a favor, yeah? Ronnie: unexpected bonus Joe: Shut up Joe: You know even less about him Ronnie: like your the expert Ronnie: so full of shit Ronnie: when did you last talk to him Ronnie: you hate him as much as i do Joe: Doesn't matter, I have reasons Joe: you don't get to have an opinion Ronnie: I got my own Ronnie: you don't get to tell me what i can and can't have, baby Joe: Well keep 'em to yourself like I do Joe: Yeah I do Joe: your share for starters Ronnie: make me Ronnie: like to see you try Ronnie: if i want it i'll come take it, you're not gonna stop me Joe: wanna bet Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: whatever the fuck you think you're gonna do you won't Ronnie: you don't have the ball like Joe: Try me Joe: but don't, 'cos I don't wanna see you Ronnie: Gonna grow a pair before I get there Ronnie: don't think so Joe: More likely than you growing the fuck up Ronnie: sick burn Ronnie: you've done too many on yourself, nothing left to hurt me Joe: Trust me, I'm holding back all the things I could say to you right now Joe: because that's you, not me Ronnie: do your worst, baby Ronnie: I love it Ronnie: You might like it if you let yourself Ronnie: go on Joe: Exactly why I won't Joe: I want you to suffer Ronnie: Good fucking luck Ronnie: You don't have the power Joe: Just the smack withdrawals like Joe: what a charmed life Ronnie: that'll be why you were begging me to shoot you up Ronnie: forgotten that first time already, yeah? Joe: didn't say I don't suffer Joe: I'm not that much of an idiot Joe: wear it on my sleeve like Joe: you do too but you shouting otherwise now 'cos you know you're wrong Ronnie: I don't need you Ronnie: I got gear before you Ronnie: will after Joe: Yeah but no one to give a shit Joe: sad washed up junkie nobody Ronnie: 'cause you do? Shut the fuck up, mckenna Ronnie: plenty of other warm bodies, Bea for one Joe: You know I do Joe: Bullshit all you want, can't change it Ronnie: Don't be pathetic Ronnie: I can match you damage for damage Ronnie: So what? Ronnie: You're not that good of a fuck even Joe: Yeah well if I could change it as well, I would Joe: didn't say otherwise Joe: You're the last person I'd wanna give a shit about for obvious reasons Ronnie: Kill the feeling Ronnie: bored and boring Ronnie: chatting this much shit like Joe: go fuck Charlie then Ronnie: gotta let him recover Ronnie: only fair Joe: considerate Joe: least you care about someone Ronnie: don't be jealous it doesn't suit ya Joe: not jealous Joe: impressed you can be vaguely human Joe: well done you Ronnie: you're well easily impressed Ronnie: never over it Joe: luckily for you Joe: don't take it for granted Ronnie: don't flatter yourself that anything I do is for you Joe: whatever you say baby Ronnie: that it? Ronnie: anything else you wanna come crying to me about like Joe: trust, that's not the kind of sympathy anyone is coming to you for Joe: don't flatter yourself Ronnie: says you but you're still trying it Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I came here to get fucked but you know Joe: you're worn out already so it's chill Ronnie: nah you're fucked up thinking you've been fucked over when it ain't about you Ronnie: I've got energy for days Joe: everything's always about you Joe: understood Joe: i'm not going to not stick up for Bea, say what you like about it and me Ronnie: calm your tits Ronnie: I wasn't putting her down Ronnie: no need to play the hero Joe: Yeah you were Joe: dragging her down Joe: why do you even let her hang around with you in the first place Ronnie: not taken her anywhere she didn't wanna go Ronnie: why the fuck do you care? Joe: because i care about her, obviously Joe: and the rest of my family Joe: that gets fucked over if she goes off the rails Joe: you don't like her so just leave her alone Joe: its not hard Ronnie: I'm begging nobody to come around Ronnie: take it up with her Ronnie: if you care that badly Joe: well don't let her Joe: jesus would that be such a difficult thing to do Ronnie: why do I want the grieve Ronnie: for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: if she's got the cash or the gear she's coming in Joe: like its any grief for you to be a bitch Joe: i have the cash you don't need to tap her up Ronnie: Maybe she's more fun than you Ronnie: wouldn't be hard Joe: i don't wanna see you Joe: just take the money Joe: what have you got to lose here Ronnie: like i said, pleasure of the princess' company Joe: fuck you Joe: i'll make sure it never happens again myself if she's still out her fucking mind Ronnie: fill your boots Ronnie: love a project, don't ya, mckenna Joe: if you think i was trying to fix you Joe: then you're flattering yourself again Joe: big time Joe: we both know what this is Ronnie: had to find me Ronnie: try and fix it for your ma Ronnie: remind yourself how that worked out before you try that shit with bea Ronnie: you're a joke Joe: Might've started that way Joe: but I'm still here for me Ronnie: more fool you Joe: No arguments Joe: Oh gotta go Joe: Don't message me tonight k Joe: Laters Ronnie: where the fuck are you going? Ronnie: don't ignore me prick Ronnie: say something or I'm coming over Joe: Becky wants me to go out with her and her friends Joe: going to an exhibition so I can't have my phone buzzing that's all Ronnie: forget that slut Ronnie: she's even more boring than you Joe: I think the latter cancels out the former there then Joe: Some of her friends are alright, dunno, might be fun Ronnie: Shut the fuck up, mckenna Ronnie: we've got plans Joe: Who have I been having this conversation with since then? Joe: I told you no Ronnie: And I told you ya can't stop me Ronnie: stop whining fucking hell Ronnie: I'm on my way Joe: Neither me or the drugs will be here so don't bother Joe: you think I'm that dumb Ronnie: you think I won't kick your door in again Ronnie: try me Joe: Why bother? I'm telling you, nothing to find alright Joe: I'll slip you a key, save the door like Ronnie: you and some skank Joe: What, you get to be jealous now? Ronnie: I can be whatever the fuck I want Joe: You've been telling me all about your threesome Joe: all night Joe: you're crazy Ronnie: and you've been telling me you love me Ronnie: a soft lad like you fall for whoever you put your dick in Joe: You've got me wrong there Joe: I do love you but not them Joe: I have needs too though Ronnie: I told you I was on my way Ronnie: Wait for me and stop being a pussy Joe: its not just tonight though Joe: never know where we are Joe: you got other people, i can too Ronnie: Fuck off Ronnie: I'm about. You know where I am Ronnie: I can't be waiting around at yours with my legs open Joe: Yeah now you are Joe: but tomorrow you'll be telling me to fuck off Joe: Not asking you to but that's what it is Ronnie: So what you want me to wake you with a fucking kiss now like? Ronnie: I can't be running around holding you hand, you get that Joe: Obviously not Joe: So why are you mad? That's what I don't get Ronnie: 'Cause you're full of shit Ronnie: That is what you want Ronnie: And some other bitch is gonna give it to you Joe: So what if it was? You don't wanna do it so its none of your business is it Joe: but it isn't, a little normality every once and a while is nice but I'd never be able to keep it up so I'm not trying to Ronnie: You brought me here, you don't get to throw me away Joe: I'm not Joe: That's not what I'm doing Ronnie: You're leaving me out in the cold to go to some art gallery or whatever the fuck Ronnie: Lying prick Joe: Because you've fucked me off today Joe: that's all Joe: I piss you off all the time Ronnie: I hate you Joe: No you don't Ronnie: Fuck you Joe: See you later, yeah? Ronnie: Will you fuck Ronnie: I'd rather suck your brother's dick than be anywhere near you Joe: Why not get the full set Joe: Good luck with that one Ronnie: Why the fuck not Ronnie: Not getting what I need from you Joe: not tonight you're not Joe: you'll survive Ronnie: Like you give a shit either way Ronnie: Get the fuck out and take your limp dick to the gallery Joe: Don't put that on me Joe: I do care and I know you're fine Joe: You only have to ask and I give you what you need Ronnie: You're full of shit Ronnie: You know I'm not fine Ronnie: you're still going Joe: You aren't rattling is what I mean Joe: if you're serious I'll drop yours off on the way Joe: Will that make you happy? Ronnie: piss off, joe Joe: is that a yes or a no Joe: what do you want Ronnie: Go away Ronnie: if i see you i'll kick the shit out of you Joe: Okay if that's what you want Ronnie: I want you to stop micro managing me you fucking cunt Ronnie: like Ronnie's had her fix job done Joe: I don't mean it to sound like that Joe: I'm just trying to help Joe: to give you what you need Joe: I'm sorry, yeah? Ronnie: Your help is a kick in the teeth, mckenna Ronnie: If I'm not rattling you couldn't give a shit Ronnie: Fuck your pity parties Joe: That's bullshit Joe: I've got as much of a saviour's complex as I do a hero's alright Joe: You know why I'm still here, I've told you enough times Ronnie: But you aren't fucking here Ronnie: I haven't seen you for ages and you don't wanna see me Joe: I do but Joe: you fucked Bea, Ronnie Joe: then was a total bitch about it, call me what you wanna but yeah, it doesn't make me wanna rush over straight away to hear more Joe: still want you though so yeah, you got me, I'm beyond reproach fucked up Ronnie: What the fuck does that matter, it was fun, that's it Ronnie: I was off my head the 3 of us were Ronnie: I'm not gonna feel bad bout it but you're making it something it ain't Ronnie: It's only sex Joe: It matters because Joe: Never mind Joe: It doesn't matter to you let's leave it there Ronnie: Don't be a pussy Ronnie: Say what you wanna say Joe: Why? For you to take the piss? You're alright Ronnie: 'Cause I wanna know Ronnie: and you wanna tell me Joe: Alright, 'cos if her then why not Fraze or any of the others? Joe: I get that you don't like them and you wanna hurt them but I dunno Joe: Its my fault for thinking you wouldn't go there, 'cos maybe you gave just an inkling of a shit about me Joe: I don't want them involved in us, its meant to be just you and me, not them tainting it or us tainting them, yeah? Ronnie: Fuck's sake Ronnie: not everything I do is about them or you Ronnie: we were fucked up and we did what we did Ronnie: call me full of shit if you wanna believe I masterminded some kind of black sheep vengeance bullshit but it ain't Ronnie: if I was looking to fuck up your precious family I'd just tell them about us Ronnie: Bea used Charlie and me to get him to leave her 'cause she can't hack it anymore Ronnie: she's fucked up. You don't wanna hear it but she is Joe: Being fucked up still isn't an excuse though Ronnie: I'm not making one. I don't need to, I didn't do anything wrong Joe: Alright Joe: it still hurt regardless so Joe: I'll catch you later Ronnie: Don't go Joe: Ronnie don't Ronnie: don't fucking go Ronnie: I can take the pain away, yeah? Joe: I wish you could Joe: the smack barely touches it some days Ronnie: I'll get more Ronnie: the good shit Ronnie: Be there til it works Joe: I've got to try and get them to leave without me then Joe: got any good excuses? Ronnie: I'm dead Ronnie: You've gotta mourn for the next 40 years Joe: Not funny Joe: but might work Ronnie: Believable that you'd find me rotting in the gutter Ronnie: go with it Joe: Shut up Joe: not happening Joe: I'll go with the shits like a normal human Joe: off-putting enough Ronnie: has she seen trainspotting? Ronnie: arrange a viewing Joe: Surely she has Joe: Probably read it too, pretentious students after-all Ronnie: and you were gonna spend your tonight with these cunts over me Ronnie: priorities, mckenna Joe: you drove me to it woman Joe: i wasn't pretending it wasn't gonna be painful Ronnie: you love the pain, you twat Joe: Looks like it Ronnie: let me know when the coast's clear Ronnie: I'm only a couple of streets away like but in no mood to chat with your normie mates Joe: aww whaddya mean you don't wanna come and claim me and scare them off? Joe: rude but there ya have it Joe: i'm not the only one 'breaking hearts' tonight, Becky is devastated, like Ronnie: I'd love it Ronnie: But you've gotten pissy enough already Ronnie: Not worth you being a cry baby all night Ronnie: You've never broken a heart in your life, mckenna Ronnie: other than her own the fuck has she either Joe: I dunno, reckon it was true love with my high school gf, and where is she now Joe: also, i was a pretty cute kid, i'll have you know Ronnie: Shut the fuck up Ronnie: I'll find her and kick her teeth in too like Joe: Poor girl, she's definitely not invested enough to deserve that beatdown Joe: Its been 2 years, little late to the punch baby Ronnie: True love or uninvested, which is it you lying bastard Joe: I was joking, there's no way she's not over it by now like Joe: even if she was a little highkey Ronnie: Cover your arse now I'm about to deck ya Ronnie: yeah yeah Ronnie: They fucked off now? Joe: you can stalk her socials if it'll make you feel better Joe: probably engaged or got kids idk Joe: yeah, now putting their coats on Ronnie: I'm outside testing the lighter you wanted Ronnie: Be in when they ain't Joe: want me to come out and join you or we skipping right to main course Ronnie: go for it Ronnie: freezing like but not gonna care for long Joe: i'll bring my coat Ronnie: Pussy Joe: for you moron Joe: gentleman Ronnie: clearly a save Ronnie: I see ya Joe: i see you shivering like Joe: no need to thank me Ronnie: Unlucky, I had some ace ideas for how I was gonna Joe: Damn Joe: Can't catch a break Joe: You defs owe me for the gear still, yeah? Ronnie: Gentleman my arse Joe: You caught me Joe: but you gave me a lot in this conversation I've gotta prove wrong Joe: so its really your fault Ronnie: whatever you say, baby Joe: S'whatever shit YOU been saying Joe: but I'm ready Ronnie: I'll keep my mouth shut til you want it open like Joe: Yeah, you're no lady either Ronnie: thank christ Joe: Join you on that one Joe: Amen Ronnie: Join me out here Ronnie: Any slower you could say you're dead Joe: Feeding the cat Joe: not the only girl in my life Ronnie: Don't tell Charlie bout all the pussy jokes I coulda made and didn't Ronnie: not trying to piss anyone else off Joe: Secret's safe with me Joe: I'm sure he'll find another way to be dramatic Ronnie: you and him both Joe: Oi Joe: I'm not as bad as Charlie, you take that back Ronnie: no take backs Ronnie: who the fuck is though like Joe: aw, you love him really thought Ronnie: take that back Ronnie: soft lad Joe: can't Joe: i don't make the rules but you enforce them hard Joe: alright, if a guy comes and asks for a light, its me Joe: so be nice Ronnie: who the fuck is friendlier Joe: if you want me quicker you won't ask me to make that list Ronnie: fucking fine Ronnie: only 'cause I do want you now Ronnie: you're still wrong Joe: Coming