#catch ham flexin
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we back bitches!!! woo! your girl is hype! okay so i’m vee (she/her) and catch us flexin with this amazing group! i’m using a lot of !!! but listen i’m excited ok bc i love our kids. anyways, i’m so excited to plot with everyone (new AND the ogs i never got around to actually plotting with bc wow i’m trash) so slap that heart and we can chat on ims or discord and get wild
❛ ⋆ ․˙✰ hanler cristiano marques is graduating in a month with plans to attend Harvard university in the fall. four years completed and he is leaving the hamptons being remembered as the carouser, which makes perfect sense considering how bold, charismatic, impish, and hedonistic he is. that title landed them the senior class superlative of life of the party. you’ll know they’re around when you hear wow - post malone coming from a car this summer. speaking of summer, i hear their plans are to spend it party his way through Europe.
boisterous laughter and music loud enough to rattle your bones, wearing sunglasses at midnight, lazy grins, the pounding of your heart when taking a reckless dare.
you can call him anything. han. ham. han the man.
hanler my man is the youngest of two boys
his older brother matias really is that bitch. he’s the golden boy. you know the type - good head on his shoulders, responsible, smart.. blah blah blah. while hanler was always a lot more wild and reckless and just a general pain in the ass. growing up they were all each other had and they were a team. matty made sure hanler didn’t go too off the rails and hanler made sure matty knew u just gotta break the rules sometimes
his dad is a ceo of a fortune 500 company and his mom is a hot shot lawyer at this big ass law firm that reps the richest of the rich. they are peek neglect culture
hanler’s relationship with his parents is a lot more strained then his brother’s. whenever his parents do come home it’s usually for a work function and they put on the happy family act and hanler isn’t about that. they pretty much fight 24/7 bc he does shit he knows will piss them off and they already lecture him enough as is and poor matias is always caught in the middle
tbh hanler would trade his parents in for a 24 pack but would go to war for his bro
he has a talent for getting himself into trouble but an even bigger talent for talking himself out of it
legendary party bro. throws the most legit ragers you’ve ever seen. his party game is PEEK
he’s the first person to suggest playing a round or truth or dare and almost always has the winning team in flip cup. he’s the guy who dares you to jump off the roof into the pool, only to do it himself and with flare.
born on december 31. new years eve. what an icon
he’s honestly such a guy. everything about him is loud from the way he walks to the sound of his laugh. he says bro and man more then anyone you know and when probably wears sunglasses even when it’s pitch black
he has a gold burger king crown
plot twist? he’s hella good at math and shit?? but no one know how bc he’s dumb as shit.
he’s honestly going to harvard to study math and engineering bc it’s easy for him ?? and mainly to get his parents off his back. he doesn’t wanna pursue a career in it bc it doesn’t seem fun to him at all. he’s gonna spend most of his time partying in boston tbh and like he wants a job thats as exciting as his everyday life and sitting behind a desk all day might as well be hell on earth
he’s very easy going. he’s a chill guy. he doesn’t take things seriously, which pisses off his parents and teachers to no end but he’s just looking to have a good time. it’s not that deep bruh
though he’s not the most reliable with most things lol like don’t trust him to water ur plants or show up on time bc.. nope. but he’s a solid friend to have around. he’ll thrown down
he’s got a scar that cuts through his right eyebrow from a nasty fall from when he was a kid and attempted to ride his skateboard down the banister staircase.
we stan a multilingual king. he speaks both spanish and portuguese.
truth? he’s the frat boy you can’t help but fall for.
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Oh you drink a lot? (bitch same)
Tryna smoke some more? (Bitch same)
But why the hell you broke as fuck (what a shame)
You ain't 'bout shit, don't ever think we are the same
[Verse 1: Honey Cocaine]
We are not the same, bitch no
I don't do it for the fame, bitch no
Gotta hit it then I lane switch, go
And I got the right game, bitch flow
My main's one that I came with ho
My language though
Shout out make a sound with you
We are not friends, there is nothing coming
Your mantle is weak, frame full of ramen
Only stupid bitches never eat their almonds
Your bae lookin' basic, and mine lookin' foreign
Turn your bitch a Rita Ora when we touring
Fuck it call her Rita Ora when we touring
Damn, pull up to Miami just to tan dog
13 night stop, going HAM dog
My money up, even of the plant falls
I'm original, your a motherfuckin' sample. . . .... .......
Bitch you could drink Hen like me
Try and do everything like me
But I only hit the club for high fees
And your pockets hella stressing, better try some tai chi
Cause we are not the same bitch, uh uh
I be doing shit to leave your dust ass bog eyed
Fuck outta here with all that bullshit you talk about
You owe some payments
Whatever it is your tryna be, uh nope you ain't it
And if you mad that I be winning man I hope you stay pissed
Bro your kids stay dirty, so I know you ain't shit
Cause you a bum, you a bum, you a bum
I heard I can hire you for some Xannys and bubblegum
I'm from killer California still got my connects in Texas
Get confronted by some Mexicans in case they catch you flexin'
I be getting all the bread, my bank on continental breakfast
Me and Honey getting money, that's assured you second guessing
Bitch
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