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expositionaljazzskeleton · 5 years

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the hargreeves kids as things my friends have said

I know I used some of these for my raven cycle post but I couldn't resist

Luther

I want another Clementine but they've all been juggled!

contrary to popular belief, your hands are NOT wrenches.

You got snow? don't worry about it. all I need is my chair and I'll take care of it.

No, [Allison], I'm not doing a line of smarties off your buttcrack.

Don't belittle my teeth!

I have... milk sadness.

There's a lot more gay popes than I thought there were.

remember that thing we did yesterday? yeet the moon.

How do you smoke weed? oh you SMOKE it!

They always ask who I'm throwing... but they never ask who's throwing me :(

Diego

What's it called... English? is it English? Fuck English.

You don't tell a lady to keep her spear in the trunk.

Chickens are fine. I don't think they have feelings.

What, you have boneless water where you live like some kind of fancy person?

Hell yeah ladies get on this scarf dick

You can't slorp without knowing the consequences.

We're just... hands

I swear I've developed a cowboy persona.

The cheese has little knives, the milk has daggers, ice cream has poison, and the yogurt has a disk sander, and if you don't have a strong stomach membrane that's lactose intolerance because they try to kill you.

My aunt Rosalie could kick your aunt Rosalie's ASS

Allison

Hashtag baddie cowboy emoji sunglasses emoji

I need a favor involving olives.

Sorry to disappoint, cannibal

not getting vaccinated is the equivalent of a spawn kill

Beekeeper on the top, party on the bottom.

Nothing says "hail satan!" like a Yankee candle

s... something just... dabbed in there....

in AND out burger? that seems excessive.

Yknow, shirt genres?

What DOESN'T sound like a bathtub?

Klaus

Dom brain takes over and there are no survivors. Not even me

I'm the lover! dab on me!

That's a bone, bitch!

When was i... New York!!

Y'all ever smoke Fall Out Boy?

The 3 genders: male, female, fear

I'm a mall Santa by day, hospital twerker by night

picture this: the middle of the desert. Now picture this: total anarchy. Are you intrigued?

Stop wizard-splaining

My sexuality is Nickelodeon slime

Juice is temporary. Sauce is forever. My brother said that. he's dead now. the juice got him

The West Virginian mountains could fuck me

live your best life. eat your own ass

I don't know what God tastes like but pussy tastes like good fuckin food

have you ever seen the human centipede?? THAT WOULD BE THE BEST ORAL SEX EVER!

[Allison] just lay on the floor and we'll all smell you

Its teeth are hands? oh I'm so proud of you!

does big suck on small peen result in detachment?

The best way to ask someone's sexuality: what's your favorite flavor of crotch?

Five

I promise I will never call you a beanie bitch

Pack the wife and kids and go watch Mt. St. Helena erupt

The rectangle and the rhombus fell in love and made a baby named the square and then they eventually commited suicide

Are you implying that all other spas are run by robots?

I don't want your styrofoam spheres!

Blue highlighters will never amount to anything.

Fine print is for wimps

Its called a prayer circle, dumbass

Out of all the animals that would dab, the Clydesdale horse is not one of them

Only white people are legally allowed to play ultimate frisbee.

The shamrock shake gave me ptsd

Just casual arson, I guess

If you give the baby LSD, maybe it'll be happy.

Dying alone, GONG. Now there's a bell in your head.

Ben

Uranium can't be transuranium... unless it wants to be and that's fine

I want a Graham cracker taped to a rock as my tombstone

Everyone is just an allele goodwill

Wildfires kill people, [Klaus]!

Have fun getting shanked by the bathroom clown

You're worth negative corn chips

I don't trust buildings with upside dowm handicap signs

bikes are causing discrepancies amongst the skeleton mating habits

The light at the end of the tunnel is a train. heaven is a train.

posse pentacle pass the tentacle

kill me on your favorite salad

why do olives make you feel like a shark?

Vanya

that's what music is. it's a lot of seIlf hatred wrapped up in a little violin.

string quartet? you mean fourplay?

well, it's not MY half lemon...

we do NOT want bananas in our cellos.

when the bees are inside you, you understand them.

you should try slapping a crab sometime

are....... are you conquered?

Have a vengeance against the sight reading. This piece killed your father.

Alright. lime screaming over

What the fuck? it's not even whale time!

You sound like your shoelaces are tied together

Just let the fingers have a little dancing fun!

You gotta pour your sheet music

I love the sound of smooth jazz and distant screaming

I don't deserve fingers

#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #the hargreeves kids #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves

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