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failedbymodernityxx · 7 months

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one of them - prologue

a/n: welcome to "one of them", i hope you love this story as much as i do. leave notes and submit asks with your opinions!! love you all!

Prologue

heartbreak. it fucking sucks, some even say there’s no pain like it. there’s always something that hurts more. Heartbreak from different people is what differentiates the pain from me. From a boyfriend, you’re sad for months, from your father, more like your whole life.

I could beg to be loved, something that felt second nature to me. To want to be loved so deeply is a dream only some can achieve, i don’t think I’ve ever experienced this.

relationships are tricky. I’m on the road most of the year, every year. I’m in a band, with four guys. I’m in the public eye, nothing is private. Not many people want to date a girl that loves her job more than anything.

There however was Ben, Ben Willis. We had dated for 3 years, we met in London when the boys and I had moved there, our relationship was easy but so hard. I looked past red flags and now I realized how stupid I was to let him have me all those years. I would have married him if I hadn’t found out he was cheating on me for the entire 3 years.

I was 18 when we met and started dating, broke up when I was 23, and now at 24, I try my hardest to figure out who I am aside from him. The life we had or the illusion I made up in my head.

Maybe it was me, maybe it was my fault he did what he did. If I wasn’t constantly away, he wouldn’t have to resort to cheating on me. Then again, why didn’t he just break up with me when my lifestyle got too complicated for him?

What if I wasn’t supposed to find someone? What if I wasn’t supposed to find someone like Crystal, or Kay, or Sierra? What if that wasn’t part of my life? Maybe, just maybe, I’m not deserving of the love I give to others.

That’s a thing, right? Some people just end up alone, I define-

“ Lucy”

I shook my head, snapping out of my dreadful thoughts,

“ We gotta board the flight”, said Ash, looking at me while starting to walk away. The year was 2018, we were on our tour 5SOS3, promoting our 3rd studio album, and getting back into the groove of touring.

Once I stood up from the uncomfortable airport seats someone pulled my arm, “ Hey, everything okay? You’ve been really dazed the past few days”, said Calum

“ The whole Ben thing is all”, I said putting my backpack over my shoulder and beginning to walk with him to the door to get our tickets scanned again.

“oh, sorry you have to go through that bullshit. You don’t deserve it Lucy”, he said walking beside me to the actual plane. Once we arrived at the door the flight attendants directed us to our seats. I was in a window seat, in the same row as Luke.

Cal, Ash, and Michael were in either the seats next to Luke and me or in front of us. Andy would be paired up with the last guy who was sitting alone.

I dropped into the window seat, taking a deep breath before pulling my headphones out and beginning to play music. Andy was recording us boarding for the tour diary. We decided to bring him with us because his work was amazing and we wanted to document touring, release week, and overall the experience.

I was trying my best to block everyone out, it felt like that’s all I was doing. They caught on after I said I wasn’t in the mood to have drinks with them and their girlfriends. I loved all the girls so much, I’ve spent most of my life surrounded by these guys, even when they annoyed me most, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

“Lucy”, I heard someone say. I snapped my head to the right, looking away from the window.

“What’re you listening to?”, asked Andy holding the camera towards me. “ Uh, Somebody Else by The 1975”, I said holding my phone towards him.

“Ouch”, said Luke looking at me with a joking smile. “ Can we watch Netflix on your laptop?”, he asked.

“ Yes, yes we can”, I said buckling my seatbelt, motioning Luke to do the same.

Ladies and gentlemen, please find your seats as we prepare for takeoff

I sat in my seat, pulling out my journal and a pen, I looked out the window and jotted down a thought,

Everyone, please fasten your seat belts we are departing Heathrow Airport for john f. Kennedy airport.

sometimes taking off felt like an escape. for a brief amount of time, everyone’s worries were targeted at the flying plane and not you and every single thought creeping into your mind.

As the plane moved against the taxiway, I gripped the armrest, I hated takeoff, always listening to music to mask my fears.

Ladies and gentlemen once the seatbelt light above you turns off, you may roam the aircraft and use the lavatory

“c’mon we gotta finish new girl”, said Luke moving his backpack from the seat so i could scooch.

“Why don’t you watch without me? here”, I said handing him my laptop.

“Lucy”, he said.

“Just watch Lu”, I said, leaning my head against the window. I sat silently, trying to make him get off my back. The only thing I ever thought about nowadays was my shitty love life,

it was like everyone around me was madly in love, and here I was heartbroken.

Calum was head over heels for his girlfriend Margaret, even though they began dating a month ago. Luke and Sierra had been in love for years now, same for Ash and Kay, and Mike and Crystal.

“Lucy”, said Mike as he turned his body to face me.

I looked from the window and turned my head to face him, undoing my seatbelt

“Yeah?”, I asked

“We were thinking about going to a bar when we land. the girls will be there”, he said very cautiously. I could see the concern in his eyes.

“Kay keeps asking for you”, said Ash.

“yeah, Sierra said she wants to sing karaoke with you. She even called the place to make sure they had it”, said Luke moving to the seat next to me.

“c’mon we miss you”, said calum.

“I’m right here Cal”, i said. Not fully understanding what he meant. But in reality, I knew what he meant, I wasn’t the same, and hadn't been for a while.

“You haven’t been you for a while now. you know it and so do we. come and let loose.”, said Ashton.

I looked back out the window before saying, “Okay”.

“ Alright boys operation Get Lucy Drunk is a go”, said Calum.

“I hate you guys”,i laughed.

“ no you don’t”, said Luke wrapping me in his arms. He’s right, I don’t hate them.

“ you love us”, he said kissing my cheek.

That was true, loved the four boys more than anything in my life. Except they were my brothers.

That’s when he came into the picture, perfect timing.

#matty healy #ross macdonald #adam hann #george daniel #the 1975 #ross macdonald x reader #5sos #calum hood #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #michael clifford

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nicksbestie · 5 months

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#5sos fluff #5sos angst #5sos fic #5sos #5sos x reader #5sosfam #luke hemmings moodboard #5sos moodboard #michael clifford moodboard #ashton irwin moodboard #calum hood moodboard

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allsassnoclass · 9 months

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hello, Hazel!

how about "let's go out for a cheap dinner" ft. mashton for the prompts?<3

hi ana! thanks for requesting!

mashton: "Let's go out for a cheap dinner"

Michael covers his face with his hands and groans, as loud as he can. It echoes slightly in the empty theater, or maybe he just thinks it does because his hands are creating an echo chamber, but either way it's equally as satisfying as it isn't.

"Mood," Luke says. Michael turns his head to look at him, sitting in the second row of the audience with his feet propped up on the chair in front of him, Sierra nodding sagely beside him. It looks like an uncomfortable position for someone of his size, but laying on his back on the hard, disgusting wooden stage isn't as comfortable for Michael as it could be, so he's not going to say anything.

"They should've done Beauty and the Beast," Calum repeats for the fiftieth time since they all began working on this production nearly two months ago.

"Or Shrek. Or Spongebob. Or Sound of Music. Or literally any other family-friendly musical besides fucking Mary Poppins," Michael agrees, just like he has every other time.

When he applied for the job to direct Mary Poppins at a community theater this summer, it had seemed like a good idea. Being partially-funded through Community Education, he was told that they would have full access to the theater, scene shop, and costume shop at the high school, as well as some additional rehearsal spaces there. The board of directors seemed really excited to dive into a family show after producing some more mature musicals in the previous years, and he got to hire the production staff, meaning he could ensure that he works with his friends this summer. He knew that Mary Poppins is a difficult show from basically every standpoint: the music is complex, the dance numbers are big, there's an inconvenient amount of settings, and Mary Poppins does magic at about 12 different points in the script, including flying across the stage. Still, Michael had been optimistic.

Michael had been a fucking idiot.

This has been, to put it plainly, the most frustrating directing experience Michael has ever had. The theater was a new build from five years ago, but apparently the blueprints have since been lost and no one at the school knows the measurements of the space. He keeps trying to negotiate with different flight companies so they can rent equipment, hire a trainer, and have Mary actually fly across the stage, but most of them are appalled at the quick turnaround and all of them need some sort of measurement of the space, not to mention that Michael has to wait for permission from Community Education before he can solidify a deal. Every time he thinks they have it, the school finds some sort of issue that takes him three days to smooth over, at which point they find another one, then later another one.

Administration doesn't seem to understand anything about urgency, because the production staff didn't get their contracts until a month after rehearsals began, so now everyone is scrambling to get things done, and they still don't know what the set will look like because they don't know if Mary will be flying or if they have to find some other way to imply that she is.

That doesn't even scratch the surface. The stage has dried gum on it but the custodians won't let them mop, let alone paint the stage so it actually looks nice and fresh instead of ugly and chipped. They don't have keys to the catwalk. They only just got keys to the booth tonight, and Matt and Roy spent all rehearsal up there trying to figure out how the sound and lights are set up, because it doesn't follow logic. The electrics aren't weighted, which could kill someone, but the weight station is a floor above and the door is padlocked. Michael has already requested a key, but he requested a key to the catwalk two months ago and still doesn't have it.

There's no dressing rooms, no backstage space, and no hallway behind the stage to cross from one side to the other unseen. Michael figures all of those are problems for tech week, but tech week is very quickly approaching, which is why Michael is currently laying on the stage having a mental breakdown two hours after rehearsal ended.

His phone buzzes. He checks it, exhaling when he sees who is texting him.

"Can someone let Ashton in?" he requests.

Someone, probably Roy, heaves a sigh and gets up. Michael stares up at the electrics and wonders if he can sue the school if one of the lights falls and lands on him.

"Well, this is pitiful," Ashton says a few moments later. Michael holds up his middle finger. Ashton probably looks lovely, even for this late at night, and looking at him will probably make Michael feel incrementally better, but he's decided to let himself wallow and therefore refuses to so much as glance at him.

"Come on, what was your win of the day?" Ashton asks. He started asking this after the second week, when Michael came home and told him that every day with this production feels like getting one win, then fifteen losses. The win is usually that the actors have learned something new. The losses are typically everything else.

"We got access to the booth," Matt offers. "Nothing in there is set up, but we have access, so Roy and I can actually start our jobs."

Michael gives a thumbs up.

"Hey, that's great! Is there anything else that you need to solve here tonight, or can I take your fearless leader home?"

Michael holds up his middle finger again. There's a beat of silence, then Calum's voice, holding all of the authority he needs as a stage manager.

"There's nothing else we can do tonight. Let's all go home."

Michael listens to everyone gather their things and put the theater back to some semblance of order. Something blocks the lights overhead, and Michael squints until the silhouette solidifies into Ashton, looking down at him. He really looks good, even when Michael is looking at him from the most unfortunate angle. He's wearing a bandana to keep his curls contained, something which he started doing again this summer, and his shirt is sleeveless, giving Michael a fantastic view of his arms. Michael really likes those arms.

Ashton holds out a hand. Michael drags a sigh up from the depths of his soul and takes it.

"What do you want to eat?" Ashton asks as he's hauling him up and Michael is doing his best imitation of a rag doll.

"We have no food at home. I do not want peanut butter and jelly."

"Let's go out for a cheap dinner," Ashton suggests. Michael rolls his eyes and slumps against him.

"I do not want McDonald's for the third time this week, and there's no where else near us open this late."

"I was researching and found a 24/7 diner about half an hour away. That'll give you enough time to vent and relax, and you'll probably get to sleep just as early as you would if we went home and you watched Netflix."

Michael considers, enjoying the feeling of Ashton's arm around him, supporting his weight. Ashton is always a fantastic combination of solid and soft, which makes him the perfect person to hug.

"I have a playlist ready," Ashton says. "No Mary Poppins on it at all."

"Twist my arm, why don't you," Michael concedes. Ashton ushers him off the stage to gather his backpack, script, and numerous writing utensils that have escaped their case. Calum has already stolen his keys to lock up, and by the time he turns out the lights and the group heads to the parking lot, Michael is feeling marginally more like a functional person.

"Come on, in you go," Ashton says after they call goodbyes to the rest of the staff, holding Michael's door open for him. The show must be taking a noticeable toll on him tonight if Ashton is babying him this much, but Michael is pretty lazy and isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth right now.

Michael doesn't know what he'd do without Ashton, honestly. Between juggling his day job, rehearsals, production meetings, and all of the administrative bullshit that has unexpectedly come with this show, Michael barely finds time to exist, let alone eat and sleep and drink water. Ashton is the one who ensures that those needs are met, picking him up from production meetings once he deems that they've gone on long enough if Michael doesn't call before then, making meals that will be good reheated when he has time and scoping out places for them to get food when everything else is closed. He offers a patient ear when Michael needs to rant and practical solutions when he can, and Michael is man enough to admit that he would have fallen apart by now without the knowledge that there is someone who is in his corner and who will still love him if the production goes to shit.

"Hey," he says once Ashton starts the engine, his phone already hooked up to the car and an acoustic pop punk song beginning to play over the speakers. "I love you."

Ashton smiles at him, reaching out and tucking a lock of Michael's hair back, letting his fingers trail down Michael's cheek after. Michael closes his eyes, savoring the sensation.

"I love you, too," Ashton says warmly. "Now let's get some food in you. You can tell me all about the school's latest bullshit on the way there."

Michael sighs and presses back against his seat, looking out the window at the dark. quiet town around them. He starts talking, and Ashton listens attentively the entire time, even when Michael can tell from his clenched jaw and furrowed brow that he's angry on his behalf. Once Michael has gotten it all out of his system, he lets Ashton distract him with talk about his own day over a plate of pancakes and some bacon.

With Ashton's ankle hooked around his under the table, it's the most relaxed Michael has felt all day.

"Thank you," Michael says before they pay the bill. He means it for more than just the food, Ashton understands. He always does.

"I love you," Ashton says in reply, like it's an explanation.

Michael takes the last bite of his pancakes from the tiny diner that Ashton found to ensure that Michael eats well, and knows with certainty that he can make it through anything with Ashton by his side.

#my writing #mashton #ask box prompt #YES i was projecting. yes these were all real issues with our production i choreographed/assistant directed #however i think that the fact that i wrote at all is a big big big win!!!!#this is the 4th thing i've posted this year. at all. since january.#but we're vibing now!!!!#also i didn't think of this until i finished this version but i totally could've made this about vampires for you ana #like. ''let's go out for a cheap dinner'' that's vampire flirting for let's go kill some people #but no matter! what's done is done!#i already wrote a vampire thing this year so it's fine #chameleonsoul #ana

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ofgentleresolve · 8 months

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ferre's thoughts!

hi everyone! so sorry to have been absent ( or at least very sporadic ) here and across all my other blogs- i promise i never stopped thinking about my muses and all of the wonderful dynamics i have with everyone!! recently though, i guess i've been feeling a bit...meh about this blog?? so i'm just going to ramble for a hot second in these bullet points to air out my thoughts and hopefully i can get to some kind of conclusion here....feel free to throw your own opinions in here if you want to!!

this is my fault, but uh, i think i accidentally isolated myself on this blog?? like, these days most of my activity rp-related has been in discord, but i would like...to reach to ppl again if they are still interested....that being said, i know i say i love plotting with other muns, but i also know that truthfully, it takes me a while to open up and it probably doesn't help that i can take like weeks to get back to ppl ic wise....i dont want to get into the details but i'll just say that this summer was kinda...not great ( don't worry nothing bad happened, i'm just going thru a rough patch....) so that's been killing my writing mojo for a while ://

this also relates to the first point, but i realize plotting really does make a difference to me about whether or not i'm excited for a thread so i'll probably make a note about that when i rewrite & condense my rules....

ever since i moved patrick to his own blog, i've noticed that annie ( and since i gave him a connection to her ) and ga ram seem to be the most active on there...tbh there are some muses on my main muse roster that truthfully, haven't been used in months due to the lack of plots/active dynamics- i don't want to get rid of them bc nostalgia and i do intend to write them on occasion, but....if they aren't garnering as much interest then i might just have to switch around my rosters a bit....

this blog isn't nearly as much of a slice-of-life blog as it used to be....if anything, i feel like it might be better to call it a crime & slice-of-life multimuse considering that the muse who seems to come out the most often now is annie....as such i was wondering if....perhaps changing the aesthetics of this blog might help with getting into the mood for writing on here again?? if anything patrick and calum's blogs seem to embody this blog's current core themes more ^^'

this might also mean changing the username for this blog....although i will say, i am quite attached to this url as it's been my brand for YEARS... but on the other hand perhaps a url with a bit more...grit to it could help ( that and if it is change then better to accept than resist...right?? )

also saw lena on my dash ( WHICH WAS A SIGN OF A GOOD DAY FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺 ) and i lowkey?? wanna follow in their footsteps aka be more lax and free-flowing on here...so i might drop the formatting ( sans the small text ) bc that does, i will admit, take up more time to post responses than anything else :'D

okay if you read all of this, thanks for listening, i promise everything will be fine on my end <3 i really really just miss writing on here and being part of dashboard shennagans so....hope to see?? you all soon in the meanwhile, will try to get to some memes & maybe do the bingo boards for some of my muses here <3

#that would be truly wonderful ( ooc. )#it's not really negative but it's long #so that's why i put it under read more :'D #that and....ngl in the last few months i kept on seeing some...bad energy on my dashboard across all my blogs :/#no one i follow now bc thankfully they disappeared to the wind/i got so fed up i bit the bullet #but i guess in my rules i really have to make it clear that i'm slow ooc and ic #literally my partners and i can take MONTHS to get back to threads #and it's all gucci jfsldkjfl <3 #okay this time for REAL i'm heading out now #I WILL BE BACK I PROMISE :DDDD

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ilostyou · 1 year

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youngblood (by 5sos) ranking!

ghost of you

meet you there

lie to me

why won't you love me

youngblood

want you back

if walls could talk

moving along

talk fast

better man

valentine

babylon

empty wallets

woke up in japan

monster among men

@fountainpensongs your move. but first .. things to consider! (buckle up i didnt even realize how long this was)

ghost of you will never not be my top song off this album and quite frankly possibly all of 5sos' discography but not in a basic omg ghost of you! way. in a. this song is Mine and it makes me Feel and. yes. anyway. meet you there is a very solid 2 for me bc !!!! it fucking SLAPS and one of the songs i immediately fell in love w listening for the first time and that has not changed. more???????? same thing. extra points for the easier-more transition and being absolutely phenomenal live (myt and more also slay vocals across the board. as always, but bears mentioning). next lie to me, great song on its own but when you consider the background 🙃 feelings are hurt and it's very solidly up there. wwylm actually only recently grew on me but i LOVE her now, it's actually a super sad song?? really really like it actually. next we have the youngblood/wyb/iwct stretch which really is interchangeable based on my mood lol they all SLAP and imo are a tier (youngblood maybe s tier bc of how rockstar™ it is of them esp live) but either way. slay. wyb would maybe be higher but in a way it feels kind of basic to me for some reason? but i do like it a lot it's never a skip and is almost always a straight bop. then we've got moving along and talk fast - moving along goes surprisingly hard but i'll say it's not their best songwriting and feels kinda cheesy lol so. very good middle of the album here. talk fast is SO FUN im obsessed w calum's verse, absolute banger but don't necessarily love it more than the ones above it yknow? THEN the little holy trinity of better man/valentine/babylon being songs i really did not like or listen to UNTIL i listened to the myt tour live album and i was Changed by these three specifically (better man - FUCK me at a quarter to three???? luke?? excuse me??????? valentine....the entire thing. the whole damn thing. michael did not leave one crumb and calum is HOT. babylon - pure vibes live and see prev re calum.) i however dont love the studio versions so they kinda hang down here lol. THEN LASTLY. my dead last trio. they can die. i have listened to mam maaaaybe 3 times total i Do Not Like It. woke up in japan makes me full body cringe idk why, empty wallets i just ? do not vibe with. don't like her either

honorable mention for when you walk away! a whole bop but i can't just stick her in the rest of the ranking bc i don't really ? know where it would go bc it's so separate to me

and NOW thank you for coming to this actual ted talk

#ranking #youngblood #m talks 5sos #dear god this was a rollercoaster enjoy yall KJASHDGKJH #if anyone besides drey is even reading #5sos #drey i feel like you love babylon #in my head red desert and babylon get along #drey tag

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