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tinystarscapes · 5 years

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intoyxurheart’s 2018 Holiday Follow F o r e v e r

Happy holidays, my lovely friends. Today is Christmas, so we know what that means: My 2nd annual follow forever! So as always, Merry Christmas to my lovelies who celebrate, and Happy Holidays to literally everyone. This year’s been quite a weird one, but I honestly couldn’t be happier that I’ve gotten to share it with all of you. I’ve gotten close to new people, formed new relationships, and overall just enjoyed every second of this year with all of you. I wish I knew exactly who to put on this list, but as always, I’m afraid to miss anyone. Just know that I love absolutely everyone of you who sees this post, and that I never ever want to be without you all.

A lot has happened this year, just like in the last one. Some was good, some not so good, but I want to take this time to focus on the positive things, because I feel blessed to have each and every one of you this year. I broke 700 followers a few months ago, and I never properly thanked you all for this. But thank you, because honestly I have no idea how any of you have put up with me, nor did I ever think I would make it this far. I’ll stop being sappy now, but here goes nothing:

♡ The Besties~

♡~ @thexsisters another year is almost over, and once again, you’re one of the most amazing friends I could ever hope to have. Your friendship means the absolute world to me, and I just want to thank you for being the reason I haven’t gone insane yet. I share things with you that I don’t feel like I can share with anyone else, and I’m honestly just happy to have you in my life. I believe that this is only our second Christmas, but it feels like we’ve been friends for so much longer than just two years. My day never feels complete if I haven’t spoken with you, and I just hope that you know that you can always come to me if you need to talk about absolutely anything. Thank you for being one of the best friends that I could ever ask for. You never fail to be there for me when I need support, and you’re always someone I can trust to tell what’s going on in my head without feeling judged or worried about what you might think of me after I tell you something. You’re always so encouraging when I’m down our when I decide I want to try a new avenue or venture out to a new career path, which I know I’ve done a lot this year. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve someone as kind, caring, and supportive as you, but I’m happy to call you one of the closest friends I have, and I’m glad I did whatever it was. I don’t think there are words to describe quite how much I appreciate you and all that you do. Because even when I’ve felt down and out, you’ve helped me to realize that I can do and be more. Because you’ve never once given up on me, even though there have certainly been times where I’ve wanted to give up on myself.

♡~ @serenityxbecca wow has a lot happened this year. Honestly, I’m just gonna come out and say this: I love you. You’re one of the best people to ever have happened to me, and I just want you to know this. Before we were together, I had always had bad luck in relationships, and things never ended well, or even lasted longer than a month or two. Which is why I think at first I was so scared, but you helped me not to worry about any of that anymore. Because of you I truly believe that I’m capable of loving someone, and that’s amazing to me. Because god, I’ve never felt the way I feel about you about anyone else, and that’s just the honest truth. Back in May when I was meeting a family member for the first time, you really made me feel like everything was going to be okay, just the fact that I was able to turn to you made that whole day easier. During that panic attack I had that night when conversation got intense, I don’t think I ever got the chance to properly thank you for that. To be honest, you are my rock. And I can’t tell you how much I love you for that and for everything you do. Basically what I’m saying is that I’m glad you’re my person, because you mean the absolute world to me. I love you, babe.

♡~ @tripletroublefisher I’ve potentially never been happier to have made a new friend, if I may just be perfectly honest. Like I just really enjoy talking to you eVEN THOUGH I’M PRETTY SURE I RAMBLE A LOT BUT IT’S FINE. PS I hope you know that when you told me I could just throw my muses at you, you opened a door that can’t be closed LMAO I’m going to drown you in starters at some point, and I’d like to say I’m sorry in advance bUT DON’T LET ME FOOL YOU BECAUSE I’M PROBABLY NOT SORRY I’M A LIL SHIT.

♡~ @xaksirenx I’VE NEVER MET SOMEONE I HAVE SO MANY SIMILARITIES WITH. I’m seriously not convinced that we’re not the same person at this point, like honestly. ANYWAY I’m really glad to have met you and started talking with you, because I have no idea where I’d be without you, my friend. You understand me on a level most people don’t, and you know how to keep me from being the most anxious human being to literally ever exist. Like I just don’t understand how you do that, but like talking to you makes me mellow out a lot. YOU ARE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS NOW, THERE’S NO STOPPING IT. If you ever need anything I’ll be here. Like, you need me to hit someone with a chair from a preschool classroom? Done deal. I’ll be there in three seconds flat.

♡~ @segrxti My bestest friend whom I love more than life itself. Honestly I don’t even know what I could tell you that I haven’t already. Thank you for putting up with me and my mental breakdowns, thank you for being there for me when I feel alone, and thank you for always being the one to make me smile when I feel like no one else can. I really do love you friend. So much more than I could ever tell you.

♡~ @crazyinlvv I absolutely adore your face and I’m glad I found your blog. Honestly, I really love all of our threads, absolutely every single one of our muse interactions, and Kris and Misun are literally one of the cutest ships I have. I’m proud to have made my first private muse one for you! You’re always so sweet when I post about being anxious or sad or whatever it may be, and you’re also incredibly supportive when I post about potential job opportunities. It’s REALLY TEMPTING to respond every time you have a plot to do, because I just want to love on you and your muses.

♡~ @trulyhopelessromantic My first follower ever across all of my tumblr accounts! You’ve been supporting me and my writing since the very beginning and I don’t think I can thank you enough for that. Even when I was abandoned by my first group rp because I was going through family troubles, you stuck by my side and that’s the biggest reason I’m even still on this site. I hope you know exactly how much that means to me, because it means so so much to me, and I don’t think I can even put it into words at this point.

♡~ @herethereismagic THE BAMBAM TO MY YUGYEOM! THE CHAN TO MY FELIX! THE YOUNGK TO MY JAE! THE SUGA TO MY J-HOPE! THE JIN TO MY JIMIN! Yous the bestest, and honestly, you’re one of the only people that I don’t speak proper English to anymore. Thank you for being the bestest friend I could ever have asked for, and for letting me spam you when I get anxious. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and you won’t judge me for it. Because yous just that great. I panic a lot and you just know how to calm me down and I just really admire that. I also really just wanna thank you for encouraging me to do what I need to do and to cut ties with the people I know aren’t good for me or my mental health. You’re basically the only one I listen to when it comes to that. Though I’m not always sure it isn’t because you just wanna be my only friend. Just kidding. If I made a list thanking you for all you do for me, it’d be a mile long and no one would want to read it. But I’m grateful for absolutely all you do. I will definitely never regret giving you my number and I will always be your hype man. Like I just really love you. Obviously you know I struggle to be sappy but like you’re the reason I’m still here just in general a lot of the time and I don’t know if you know that. But I hope you do because I love you.

♡~ @heavenlyprincex You are 100% one of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m happy to have you as a part of my life, and I hope that you know that I’m always happy when I get to talk to you. You maaaaaay very well be the reason I’m such a hoe for angst now, just... I hope you take pride in that. Because I make a lot of things angsty now just because I can. I hope that you know if you ever need anyone or anything, I will always be here for you. I’M NOT GOOD AT BEING SAPPY AUGH! Just know that I always want to cling when you’re around because you’re just that great.

♡ People I want to get to know better in the next year~

♡ @chisapuppy, @snhynwoo, @kionicat, @xhydnx, @kwobin, @the-ones-who-fall, @vivccious, and probably a bunch of people I forgot to mention... ♡

♡ People I admire from afar~

♡ @tuggeriisms, @hoseokwrite, @vangxards, @starguk-seoulstars, @oflunarisms, @boraxquinn, @sxoulmxses, and basically 95% of people I follow but don’t interact with/rarely interact with because I’m a shy bean who literally struggles to approach anyone ever, please know that I love you all already and I’m building up the courage to actually talk to you. ♡

#ι'м ƒιηє тнαηк уσυ (ooc)#follow forever #Holiday Follow Forever #Christmas 2018

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esteliel · 5 years

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I’m still vibrating with energy so this is going to be absolutely incoherent, but what an incredible episode to end this series on!

I am so so happy - I got indeed not only everything I’ve been hoping for, but they kept dialing the intensity and shippiness and UST right up to 100 to the very end.

The barricade was the best I’ve ever seen. Musical barricades are usually my cue to either get a drink at home, or keep watching tied up Javert by the side of the stage, but this was SO WELL DONE OMG. I even had Enjolras/Courfeyrac feelings for a moment there, and I never care about amis shippiness whatsoever. But Courfeyrac was SO GOOD, and I very much enjoyed Enjolras’ swordfight, and that entire scenario might even have been fannish catnip for me if I had watched this adaptation 20 years ago. ALSO lol at Grantaire’s “piss on your blindfolds” - the incredibly rare moment when I actually like a Grantaire for a second! :D

Also Gavroche absolutely stealing the show once again!! I hope he goes on to have an incredible career!

They even had the mattress aaaah! <3 Valjean didn’t get to be quite the pacifist he’s in the Brick, but at least he wasn’t shooting people left and right like in the musical, so that has my okay from the POV of having to deliver tense action shots to us here.

And the Valjean/Javert encounter in the tap room, holy shit! I was so tense through all of it, and then they did it again - gave me MORE than what I was hoping for! That was SO INTENSE!! Can’t you just KISS, you idiots??? >:(

I’m going to have to rewatch all Valvert scenes a hundred times tomorrow.

Also holy shit, Javert starting to derail in the office and everyone of course waiting for his boyfriend Rivette to arrive and talk to him! <3 Rivette’s obvious concern for him! <3 RIVERT BEING CANON omg Rivette trying to fix Javert’s clothes for him omg you cannot tell me that Andrew Davies doesn’t secretly write fic!

And that scene with Valjean absolutely exhausted and at his lowest there at Javert’s feet at the exit of the sewers is the very fabric my id is made of. It’s like if I were to write fic about that moment, only now I don’t have to, because all the emotions the Brick doesn’t delve into is already there on the screen?

(Admittedly I would have lingered on Valjean pleading for ten minutes, which is why this adaptation should have been 12 episodes, but oh well.)

The AKWARD CARRIAGE RIDE! <3 I cannot believe we really got a full awkward carriage ride, and I CANNOT believe that Javert is just JEALOUS because he thinks Marius is Valjean’s lover, lol. (I KNOW that he’s shaken by Valjean showing compassion to a man he hates, okay, but let me have my dreams.)

And also, Valjean being attuned enough to Javert to realize that something is not quite right with him? <3 And Valjean running out after him and shouting for him? <3 <3 <3

ALSO holy shit but this Valjean’s journey through the sewers, with all of his self-hatred rising up to swallow him until he’s choking on those feelings just as much as he’s choking on the sewage. I never thought that ANY adaptation would delve so deeply into Valjean’s trauma! I’ve never ever seen a Valjean who hates himself so much before, and unsurprisingly I am ABSOLUTELY here for it!

And when he surrendered himself to Javert, it was literally just like in fic: Valjean being glad that now he doesn’t have to do the hard work of leaving/punishing himself, but that Javert will do it for him. ;_;

Only then his new dom ghosted him right away there on the street. RUDE, JAVERT! >:(

(This will SO get fixed in fic, omg. This Valjean needs to be spanked with Javert’s belt, and he’s going to get it, and then they can have a nice cry together and no one’s going to die.)

Also how heartbreaking was Javert’s suicide? Everyone knows I’ve been team Oyelowo right from the start, and even though most people hated his take on Javert I’ve been having the most fun I’ve ever had with a Javert in my fandom life so far. (With an exception for Ed Watts I guess.) But to take Javert all the way to 1000% as he did in the last episode, and to then take him from THAT performance to the point where he just absolutely shatters in this episode, where he becomes all silence and murmurs and confusion - that was just SO well done, and I see a lot of good actors every year, but man the things I would do to be able to see him on stage!

Argh I cannot get over his tears! And the way he had this little breakdown, just for a moment, where you thought that yes! Just once, he’d flinch back from the abyss just in time and get it all out in a healthier way!

Of course that wasn’t to be, but he was SO CLOSE. So close. I just want to rewatch this scene and cry about it forever. ;_;

And then I want to send Rivette to the bridge. And then Valjean. And write a hundred different Post-Seine AUs because damn it Javert YOU WERE SO CLOSE!

Maybe I’ve just watched Hadestown too often but seriously, every time you hope that THIS TIME, it’ll turn out alright. ;_; And they’ve never come so close as they came in this adaptation. WHERE IS MY POST-SEINE SEQUEL, ANDREW DAVIES!

And I have so many Valjean feels too aaaaah. All of his self-hatred. That conversation with Marius was so good. Why do you do this to yourself, Valjean. Just let people love you. You deserve to be loved. ;____;

I’d read that it would all end in the garden in Digne so I was prepared for the timeskip, but I was NOT prepared for that ghastly wig. Seriously, wtf costume department! He’s dying, but that doesn’t mean you have to make him wear THAT! :/

Still, I like to think that weighed down by the mountain of shame for all of his ~sins, Valjean has done what a certain dom who ghosted on him had promised he’d do, and given himself the shameful convict shave again because it’s what an awful thief and convict like him ~deserves (and he didn’t have his coin for self-branding anymore).

That said, his death actually made me tear up a little, and I can’t even tell you anymore how many Valjean’s I’ve watched die in my life. ;_;

Just, it was all so good. Valjean was so good. I love how they’ve really delved into the full range of Dominic West’s emotions here in the series - all the anguish, all the tears, all the shame and the guilt and the fear and paranoia. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any adaptation that deeply interested in his psyche and trauma. (Admittedly also interested in him shouting at people, but he’s really not the monster fandom wants him to be in this, and there’s just SO MUCH and such a range from him that I’m not that bothered by the parts that don’t quite work for me. And again, there’s nothing that couldn’t be fixed by Javert’s belt. :D)

Augh I am so full of feelings, I have no idea how I’m going to sleep tonight, but maybe getting it all out in an incoherent mess of emotions will help? It better had to, because once I’m no longer vibrating with energy I need ALL THE FIC! <3

#les mis bbc #spoilers

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lizardrosen · 5 years

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Andrew Scott Hamlet (2017)

I'm finally watching the Andrew Scott Hamlet and it's so good!

This post is mostly a liveblog I did on twitter, but edited for reading clarity, and with a few notes I took that I didn’t talk about in my posts.

the watchtower scene is in a security guard room filled with screens, and the ghost makes the camera short out

Andrew Scott is just. a perfect hamlet - AUGH, his bitter laugh at “unmanly grief”. He stays inside while everyone else is dancing on the balcony outside, and sits on his suitcase in the dark. He’s a good sad boy.

and he's FRIENDS with both laertes and ophelia - he and laertes share a genuinely friendly hug before laertes leaves, and then it’s so clear how much ophelia and hamet care for each other, and she holds him as he cries, and cheers him up.

Polonius is a Good Dad, and while most of his advice is stuff he's said hundreds of times before, "this above all..." isn't rehearsed, he really just wants to say what he means to a child he loves dearly

oh cool, i'm loving how they rearranged and merged the scenes here!

Hamlet's "too too solid flesh" merges into him kissing ophelia and hiding behind the couch while laertes and polonius tell her not to trust him, and then he speaks with horatio, and they just miss r&g - he hasn't gone to see the ghost yet, so he hasn't put on an antic disposition, which means claudius was already planning to keep him in line before he gave any cause for it, and I just love how shifting a few scenes changes everything so dramatically.

Hamlet and the ghost: - horatio is so frantic for his friend's safety! but then Hamlet runs to find the ghost anyway. hamlet reaches out hesitantly to touch his father's face and they CLING to each other, then "pity me not." the ghost speaks of his death super fast, as if afraid to dwell on it, then slows as he charges hamlet "taint not thy mind, nor let thy soul proceed against thy mother." But then two minutes after being told not to blame his mother Hamlet goes "o pernicious woman" he's not very good at following directions. and then, poor baby, he picks up the gun and uses it to follow claudius as he walks down a hallway on the security footage.

a very well structured scene!

polonius gave laertes a watch as a parting gift, and then after hamlet makes horatio and marcellus swear, he gets engrossed by his own watch in a way that feels dangerous, and then goes "the time is out of joint" this is a GOOD parallel and i hope it comes up again because DAMN!

Up to Me, by Bob Dylan is just. the perfect song for the transition to act two, i can't handle how well it works with the action on stage - hamlet walking off sadly, then claudius and gertrude being flirty and cute, then hamlet kissing ophelia in the bath and perusing her face

Oh man, Polonius forgetting what he has to say when speaking to Reynaldo is a moment of such stillness and silence that it’s one of the most tense and compelling things I’ve every seen. I was half convinced he was going to have a stroke right there, or that his heart would be what actually killed him in the closet scene later.

When Ophelia tells him about Hamlet charging into her room, he’s super wrong, of course, but he cares for his dauther truly. She deflates when he says “the very ecstasy of love” though, because it’s clear she won’t get any real help there.

ooh, they put To Be or Not to Be before polonius talks to him, not before the nunnery scene. interesting! It’s a fairly common visual trope for Hamlet to be barefoot at around this point in the play, but it’s always fun to see.

Polonius has a mic on him so Claudius and Gertrude can hear their conversation, and all of his asides are whispered into it, a fact Hamlet clearly KNOWS, because “Except my life” is said while mockingly lifting the collar of his teeshirt and whispering into it.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are perfect here, omg!!! Guil is a black woman, and Ros a tallish man, and you can tell all three were good friends. when Guil finally has to say "my lord, we were sent for" you can see on both their faces that this play just became a TRAGEDY. "o what a piece of work is man" isn't a show this hamlet is putting on, he's baring his soul, and ros and guil are literally CRYING for and with him, because they can clearly see how he’s changed. but because they know they have split loyalties they can't come closer to him to comfort him. poor babies! rosencrantz is very proud that he was able to save them by bringing up the Players, and behind hamlet's back, guildenstern mouths "tragedians" and gives him an approving nod when he gets it right. i love them so much, and they're up there with gary oldman and tim roth!

The Player is the same actor as King Hamlet, I’ve never seen that specific double casting, but it’s so perfect! Poor Hamlet trying his best to remember his speech — he’s trying his best and the actual players are very patient with him.

the middle of "O what a rogue and peasant slave" is the first moment when you can visibly see Hamlet lose it, instead of sinking into depression or twisting his own and other's words like he had been up to now, but then he pulls back suddenly and goes "why what an ass am I"

"He asked no questions, and was of our demands most free in his reply." ROSENCRANTZ, you LIAR! 27-3 and you think he might have had the edge?? But as he says this he puts his hand on Guil's shoulder to make sure she'll also keep to that story.

hey ouch, this was one of the most painful nunnery scenes i've ever seen! she's all dressed up for him, but so scared, but she rolls her eyes at the book Polonius has her read. they get a few moments to be cute together before they break up for good and they're just crying, and they KNOW they're being watched. then he laughs at the favors and just drops them on the ground before he walks away, and after she gathers them up and starts to go, he comes in through a different door to kiss her violently and throw water on her face, and everything just HURTS. (the water has a daisy in it!)

Polonius briefly checks that she’s okay but then goes back to talking to Claudius about sending Hamlet to England. Meanwhile, in the background, she’s become fascinated by the daisy. She flinches away from everyone’s touch and stares at nothing, and I really like the clear progression in her, that her later breakdown isn’t just a reaction to one single shocking event, it’s all the slings and arrows that have been aimed at her throughout the play and her whole life.

ALERT, ALERT, HE'S PLAYING WITH HIS WATCH WHILE HE TELLS HORATIO HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIM!!!

(he also says Horatio is "not a pipe for fortune's finger to sound what stops you please," which is a line that's often left out, so i'd forgotten that metaphor was already on his mind)

the rest of the court enters through the auditorium, and sit in the front row to watch the show! and i only just now realized that when hamlet says "and my father died within these two hours" he's speaking ~madness~ but ALSO talking about the length of the play he's in.

The dumbshow is to the tune of One Too Many Mornings by Bob Dylan again, and shows papa hamlet's gonzago’s entire courtship with his wife, and them raising hamlet together and seeing him off to college, which then leads directly into the dialogue part of the play! it's SO GOOD.

The Lucianus monologue is very good, and then Claudius just walks out grimly, and it's presumably the intermission bc the screen goes staticky.

there's been a conceit of a camera following characters around and the image shows up on two sets of screens above the stage, so we get to see the play within the play AND hamlet et al's reaction to it at the same time.

Hamlet talks very fast and impatiently to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern as they try to tell him to visit his mother, and they’re trying SO HARD to connect with him. Interesting that the “My lord, you once did love me” line is given to Guildenstern, but it makes sense for how these characters have been played so far. I’m not at all worried that they did that to make the play straighter, because they do not shy away from the homoerotic subtext. And he pauses and really seems to think about his answer before saying “I do still, by these pickers and stealers.” And the recorder scene is just sad on both sides, everything is SAD

oh DAMN, claudius watches hamlet come into the room with a gun and then does his "O my offense is rank, it smells to heaven" speech, and seems to forget his audience as he tries to pray, and right after hamlet decides not to kill him yet, he stands and smirks and tells him "words without thoughts never to heaven go" and stands with his arms open, DARING hamlet to actually kill him. the last thing we see is his fingers trying to get a grip on the handle, and then a blackout.

if you don't know this play you might think he does it now.

when ros & guil find him he's wiping his bloody hands on polonius's shirt, and during the sponge bit he wrings it out so it drips on the floor. andrew scott is so gooood at this role but also legitimately scary.

and he's been playing with his watch more and more as everything gets more dire, i love this detail a whole bunch.

after hamlet calls claudius his mother, he hugs him and claudius reluctantly returns the embrace. for a brief moment hamlet seems to be seeking comfort here, and then he sniffles and breaks away. "To England" he says as he goes, mocking the accent.

so. ophelia. she's wheeled in strapped into a wheelchair, presumably at a psych facility. mostly she's turned inwards and singing softly, except when she hits her head and screams as if to say "you hurt me and ignored me, but you can't ignore the hurt you make me do to myself." and like. i get it, and i'm mostly glad that it's not the same version of mad ophelia you tend to see, where she's all over the stage and ripping her clothes, but still. it feels icky and ableist and like. fear tactics? shock factor? something like that.

laertes comes in looking truly unhinged -- actually gets gertrude kneeling on the ground with a gun at her temple, before claudius calms him down, and he's jumpy in a way that mirrors hamlet right after killing polonius. poor horatio is the first to come in and gets a gun pointed at him for his it. no one deserves any of what’s happening to them!

but laertes stills entirely when he sees ophelia. ouch.

flowers!

rosemary - the nurse who wheeled her chair

pansies - claudius

fennel and columbine - claudius's security guard

rue - gertrude

she drops the daisy on the ground and turns to laertes to apologize about the violets.

when claudius goes "where the offense is, let the great axe fall" gertrude looks at him sharply because THAT wasn't part of the plan, and he brushes her off with "I pray you"

the Bad Quarto scene with her and horatio is in here, and makes a LOT of sense given that interaction.

gertrude is in the doorway, unseen, as claudius tells laertes the only reason hamlet's not dead is because gertrude loves him so much. and then she's CLEARLY watching for his response when the messenger tells him about the letters from hamlet. i like this gertrude a lot.

(and I’m pretty sure I saw Hamlet being a sneaky boy and passing behind the window right by Claudius, as Claudius is handed his letters)

ooh, hamlet's wearing white and khaki when he comes back from the pirates, and he seems much calmer than he did the last time we saw him.

and laertes is so lost and sad when he says "what ceremony else?"

they're such good foils for each other, i can't stand it!

hamlet seems amazed as he asks "what is he, whose grief bears such an emphasis" and he's not angry when he climbs into the grave, more like he's expecting to be welcomed with open arms, and then he's just surprised when laertes tries to strangle him. when he says “yet have I in me something dangerous” he’s trying so hard to convince himself of this, oh kiddo.

welp, hamlet is no longer calm, as he screams about how much he loved ophelia, and writhes around on the ground. then he stands up like nothing happened and says "what is the reason you use me such?" and sounds so hurt.

some hamlets did not date laertes, but this one SUPER did

Hamlet feels bad about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but moves on quickly because he feels worse about Laertes, and it’s so painfully clear that he knows what genre he’s in. Osric is just a security guard (and later the judge for the fencing match) with no noticeable character but that works really well for this production, and Laertes has enough going on without having a boyfriend.

“Hamlet does it not… his madness” isn’t him giving up empty excuses, but real sorrow and despair, and maybe he really does believe he briefly became another person. I’m ! So ! Sad ! and oh SHIT, when laertes says "this one's too heavy" here, it's NOT to make sure he gets the poisoned blade but because he was moved by hamlet's apology and is BEGGING claudius to let him off the hook of needing to kill his friend, but claudius shakes his head and so they play.

HEY WOW RUDE!!! the music during the fencing match is Not Dark Yet (also by Bob Dylan) and everything HURTS

laertes FLINCHES and runs forward too late to stop claudius from putting in the poisoned pearl, and then he does his best to fight badly, and i'm going to CRY. hamlet's about to drink when gertrude runs forward with her napkin, then claudius grabs the cup from her and she maintains eye contact and they clasp hands as she drinks. she turns her choke into a laugh, while in the background laertes offers claudius preemptive sympathy. but everything is drawing to a close so he has to commit to hitting Hamlet, no matter his reservations.

the music stops as soon as hamlet is struck, and the brightness of the fencing match returns to the darkness of Act Two, but one by one they rise as ghosts, hand their watches over to King Hamlet, and go into the party upstage. And Laertes and Hamlet exchange forgiveness! it's a soft hopeful darkness though, something horatio wishes to be welcomed into, but hamlet tells him to "absent thee from felicity awhile" and he agrees.

hamlet gets scared for "the rest is silence" then it all snaps back to real time while he convulses in horatio's arms.

The play closes as it opens: with a bunch of news stories about the death of danish royalty.

And the closing credits are One More Cup of Coffee by Bob Dylan, it's so good!

#hamlet #recap #horatio #ophelia #laertes #polonius #claudius #gertrude #death mention #guns cw #this was a really good play!

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shadow-light19 · 6 years

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The Wolf of Lilac Lake: Breaking Free

Summary: Daniel seems to finally be in charge of activities today and he starts spouting off all this cultist bullshit. Now that Max has proof, he tries to find David so that he can fire Daniel but it looks like Daniel has gotten to him first.

Notes: Okay, I made this a LOT angstier than I meant for it to be. Sorry, not sorry. I feel like David has issues that he is hiding. The angst is based on David’s breakdown in front of Max in the Season 1 finale and the friend pills he has in the original episode. I feel like he has depression from Jasper’s death and is always so happy and optimistic because of that. Hopefully, it doesn’t come up as too sudden in the story but when have I ever written about David caring about his own well-being in the first place? I also rewrote three tiny parts of chapter 5 to make the angst more fitting. The first is when David is woken by Gwen in the morning, the second is when Gwen leaves, and the third is when he’s in the sauna. If it doesn't work, let me know and I'll rewrite these.

Previous Chapter: https://shadow-light19.tumblr.com/post/174025664742/the-wolf-of-lilac-lake-muzzling-the-dog?is_related_post=1

Next Chapter: https://shadow-light19.tumblr.com/post/174189019287/the-wolf-of-lilac-lake-overcoming-demons

“Rise and shine, campers! Today is a beautiful day!”

Max rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He stretched and pressed brew on his Mrs. Coffee. Neil and Nikki got up and sleepily walked to the Mess Hall to get breakfast. Once his pot of coffee was ready, Max poured himself a mug and walked into the Mess Hall as well.

“Hey, Camp Man. What’s for breakfast today?”

His eyes were closed as he took a swig of coffee.

“Good morning, Max! I’m not David, but breakfast today is fresh fruit and rice.”

Max choked on it.

“What the fuck? Why are we eating that healthy shit? Tell David that I want toast and cereal.”

He glared up at Daniel while holding his mug of coffee to his chest.

Daniel looked down at Max. He smiled and cracked his neck.

“Now Max. David isn’t feeling well today so I insisted he rest and let me handle you kiddos today.”

Max scoffed at him. He went to take another drink from his mug when Daniel snatched it out of his hands.

“Hey, freakshow! Give that back!”

Daniel carried it to the sink and dumped it.

“Max, coffee is filled with toxins. I want you all to be healthy so we will be having detoxifying meals from now on.” He grabbed a tray off the counter and slid it into Max’s hands.

“Now everyone! Please get your breakfast and sit down. We will be having a party today!”

Everyone cheered. Max huffed and picked at his food.

“Now settle down everyone. Before we start setting up for the party I just want to ask if anyone is interested in space?”

“Oh! I love space!” Space kid raised his hand in the air.

Daniel sidled over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Well did you know that all negative emotions come from space?”

Space kid stuttered.

“U-Uh, no. I didn’t.”

Daniel nodded and walked back to the center of the Mess Hall.

“Yes, it’s true. Our atmosphere is under constant bombardment from negative emotions tied to dark toxins. These toxins cling to the matter left over from the big bang, meaning that even though we are all pure of heart at birth, we’re bathing in a negative-rich environment every second.”

He gave the kids a pitying look. Neil scoffed.

“I’m gonna stop you right there. Are you suggesting that the massive explosion responsible for the creation of the universe is also responsible for some sort of endless radioactive evil?”

Neil snapped his apple slice in half.

“Because that’s fucking bullshit.”

Daniel’s eye twitched as he stalked up to Neil.

“Oh, Neil. Of course not! The big bang didn’t create the universe. It was just a side effect of the Millenia Wars started by Zemoog and the Galactic Confederacy.”

Neil flinched as Daniel placed an arm on his shoulder.

“I understand that you are very inquisitive. Have you ever stopped and wondered if what you were taught was wrong? After all, we are all products of our environment. Most people will believe what they are told by the people they respect which can cause them to question differing facts.”

He walked over to Nerf.

“I understand that you have anger management problems and can be more violent towards other people. I’m sure many people you respect like your parents or your teachers have convinced you that you’re the problem. That’s not true though! The world is so scary and unsafe that you can’t help but feel threatened. In reality, the world is the problem.”

Daniel walked passed the other tables.

“What if I told you that it didn’t have to be? That all those anxieties and doubt that fester inside all of you can be washed away? That you could ascend to a higher calling?”

Nerf jumped up from his seat.

“I don’t know what you’re selling but I am buying it!”

The other campers looked at each other in concern.

“I can help you reach ascension. All you have to do is let me show you how.” Daniel placed his hand on his chest.

Max stared at Daniel in horror. He grabbed Nikki and Neil and quietly backed out of the room as Daniel became distracted by Space Kid and Nerf asking him questions.

Once they were outside, he let go of their hands and grabbed his own hair.

“Oh, my fuck… This guy’s insane!”

“We have to tell David! This should be enough for him to fire him right?” Neil shrieked.

“David should be in his cabin. Daniel said he wasn’t feeling well remember?!” Nikki raced past them.

The three ran as fast as they could to David’s cabin.

“David, open the fucking door! You have to fire Daniel! He’s trying to convert the camp! He really is a cultist!” Max screamed as they banged on David’s door.

No one responded.

“Quick! Nikki, check the window.” Neil directed.

Nikki ran to the side of the cabin.

“He’s not in here!”

Max was panicking.

“Damn it! Where the fuck could he be?”

Neil wrung his hands. “You don’t think Daniel did something to him do you?”

Max froze. He bit his lip in worry.

Oh, for fuck’s sake. That’s why Daniel’s doing this finally. David’s out of the way.

“Fuck!” He looked around.

Max saw smoke rising off to the side.

“Maybe he’s over there?”

The trio ran towards the smoke and gasped when they stopped in front of the sauna.

“Purification Sauna? What is that supposed to mean?” Nikki climbed up the door and looked into the window.

“I can’t see anything inside. It’s too steamy.” She made to get down but put pressure on a rung of the door handle.

“Augh!” Nikki fell to the ground. The handle spun from her weight and the door opened. The trio gathered in front of the building as steam flowed out from inside. A silhouette appeared in the fog.

“David?” Max called out.

Damn it, the idiot better be okay.

The figure emerged from the sauna.

“Hiya, kids!” David grinned widely.

“D-David!? What happened t-to you?” Neil’s voice shook with fear.

Max’s jaw dropped in shock. David was still wearing his outfit of the bandanna, vest, and camp uniform, but it was all white and gray.

“Daniel helped show me how to be truly happy! Isn’t he the best?”

David walked forward. The group quickly backed away.

“David snap out of it! Daniel fucking brainwashed you!”

David chuckled.

“Aww, Max. I’m not brainwashed, I’ve been enlightened. Why don’t we go see Daniel together? I need to know how I can obey the Ancient One’s will and he can enlighten you all as well.”

They booked it.

“What do we do? David was the most capable of all of us to stop Daniel!” Neil cried.

“Maybe we can gather the other kids and stage a revolt? It worked on Gwen and David before!” Nikki looked back. David was walking in their direction.

“I hope so! Maybe he hasn’t gotten to them yet and we can band together to fix David.” They threw the doors of the Mess Hall open.

Dolph, Ered, and Harrison were inside. Dolph was directing Harrison on where to place the white streamers and Ered was leaning against the wall.

“Guys! Daniel’s a cultist and he brainwashed David! We gotta snap him out of it!”

Max yelled. The others turned to him.

“Really? That’s so uncool.”

Dolph clapped his fist into his palm.

“We offered to start setting up while he took the others to a sauna. Is that how he is brainwashing people?”

Nikki nodded.

“Yeah! It magically changes your clothing to white and gray as well! We have to stop him.”

They followed the group outside only to come face to face with Daniel.

“Ahhh!” They screamed.

Daniel’s grin twitched.

“Hey, kiddos! What are you up to?”

Max pointed his finger at Daniel.

“You fucking maniac! What are you planning?”

Daniel cracked his neck.

“Oh, Max. Once everyone has been purified, we’ll toast to ascension by drinking purified Kool-Aid and then they will sacrifice their mortal bodies and ascend.”

“You’re going to kill us?” Neil freaked.

Daniel tsked.

“You’re going to ascend! You’ll be able to join Zemoog in paradise. I want to save you from the negative toxins that are encompassing you all here on earth. It’s such a wonderful feeling being purified. Isn’t that right David?”

“It really is, Daniel.”

“Ahh!” They jumped in fright.

David and the other campers were all standing behind them. Each of them were dressed in white and gray and sporting large grins.

Oh, my God. He’s already brainwashed everyone? We’re dead! We’re fucking dead!

“We love you, Daniel.” They all said in unison.

The remaining campers backed away towards the tents. Daniel joined the others.

“I’m sure it seems scary to you right now, but once you’ve become purified I’m sure you’ll understand that this is all for your own good. David, if you would be so kind as to take them to the Purification Sauna? I think we’re just about ready to ascend.”

“I’d do anything for you, Daniel.”

David stepped forward and transformed. The wolf jumped forward but the kids dodged him. Max wracked his brain for ways to stop David.

Fuck! How do you deal with a fucking wolf? Wait a second!

“Harrison! Can you conjure a dog whistle? Maybe that will snap him out of it.”

Harrison screamed and dodged another lunge.

“I c-can try! It might t-take a while though!” He started waving his hands and tossing the wrong appearing objects to the side.

“Ered! Use your sunglasses to try to reflect the light into his eyes!” She took the sunglasses from her jacket and did her best to follow Max’s directions.

“Nikki, slow him down! Neil, what’s the best way to snap someone out of brainwashing?”

Nikki charged at David and Neil turned to Max. “I don’t know! I’m a man of science! Gwen is the one with a Psychology degree. The best way I can think of, based on how the brain works, is to try to re-establish their way of thinking. Try calling out to him to make him remember his previous self or snap him out of it with some kind of shock to the synapses of his neural system.”

Max growled. “That’s not working so far! Harrison is still trying to get the dog whistle and Nikki is fucking biting him and he’s not waking up.”

Max shrieked when he felt himself get picked up by the hood of his hoodie. Neil shouted his name but was quickly restrained by Nerf. Max twisted in Daniel’s hold.

“I don’t think so, Max. David belongs to Zemoog now! Once you all have ascended, David and I will continue to find children and save them. Now let’s get you guys purified.”

Shit! I can’t get free!

He tried to call for Nikki but his voice died in his throat. David was holding Nikki and Dolph by the backs of their shirts. Nerris had somehow tied Harrison up and Space Kid and Preston had down the same to Ered.

We’re going to die. We’re really going to die. This can’t be happening!

Max could feel himself start to hyperventilate. The group was dragged towards the sauna and Max couldn’t stop the tears from welling up. They passed a table that had red plastic cups laid out and bowls of Kool-Aid on them. Max whimpered at the boxes of rat poison thrown carelessly to the ground beside it.

“No! Let me go! I only want to die from being mauled by a wild animal or fighting something really terrifying! Not by juice!” Nikki struggled in David’s grasp but it didn’t faze him in the slightest.

This is it. We’re going to be brainwashed to kill ourselves. Wait… what did Neil say? Make him remember himself?

“David! Snap out of it! Daniel’s going to kill us and use you to kill others! You may be an optimistic idiot but you’ve always done your best to try to make me less cynical, remember Camp Man?”

The others caught on to what Max was doing.

“Come on, David! Remember how you made me wear a helmet in order to do extreme sports? It’s lame but it’s because you care. You even painted flames on it and on my knee and elbow pads to try to make it look cooler.”

“You’re the one who bought me a paint set when you found out that the camp only had four colors of paint and a worn-out brush. You’ve hung up all of my art in my tent or you wrap it and store it in your cabin so that I can take it home when summer ends.”

“David! You attend all of my magic shows and even if the trick doesn’t work like it should, you still clap and tell me how amazed you are. You promised to come to all my shows when I am good enough to perform for crowds. You can’t do that if I’m dead and you’re a murderer!”

“When I first came here and found out that Cambell lied about Science Camp, you went into the woods and came back with several logs. You asked me what beakers and test tubes looked like and then carved me all the tools I needed out of fucking wood! You may not understand science but you understand us!”

“I know I bit your hand when we first came to camp but you’ve never held it against me. You’re a badass werewolf and that’s so cool! You understand my love of nature and never get mad at me or scold me for getting dirty. So snap out of it Rusty! You promised to let me meet some of the wolves and foxes in the area. I want to howl at the moon with the whole pack and that includes you, Rusty!”

David stopped walking. Daniel opened the door to the sauna.

“Alright! Time for everyone to get in the sauna!”

Ered, Harrison, and Neil were thrown into the sauna. They reappeared at the window banging and screaming to be let out. Max renewed his struggles in Daniel’s hold. Tears streamed down his face as he clenched his eyes shut.

“DAVID FUCKING SNAP OUT OF IT, PLEASE!”

David dropped Nikki and Dolph. Daniel turned to him in confusion and Max managed to wriggle out of his hoodie. He dropped to the ground in his yellow camp shirt and ran behind David. Nikki and Dolph did the same. Daniel’s face contorted in anger.

“David. I asked you to bring them to the sauna. Are you disobeying me?” Daniel drew the sacrificial knife from his pocket.

David was emotionlessly staring at nothing.

“Do you know what happens to those that betray Zemoog?”

David stood still. The white bandanna around his neck slowly turning back to yellow. Max and the others watched as David went from emotionless to furious in seconds. He lunged at Daniel and bit the arm that was holding the knife. Max pushed the others back as Daniel shoved David off him and they fought.

“Hurry! We have to let the others out!” They rushed to the sauna and opened it. The others jumped out gasping and uncovered their ears.

“Thank god! I thought for sure we were done for!” Neil hugged himself.

“Everyone, David needs our help!” Dolph pointed at David who was surrounded by Daniel and the brainwashed campers.

There’s no way David will willingly hurt a kid. We need to get them out of the way.

“Nikki! I need get everyone away from David. Harrison, Ered, I need you to take the ropes and round everyone up! I’ll tie a knot once you’re done. That should keep everyone out of the way.”

Nikki dashed forward and dragged campers away from David. Daniel turned in surprise but was quickly distracted by David again.

Ered and Harrison wrapped them up and Max tied the knot. They dragged the group away from the fight so they could stay out of David’s way.

“What do we do now?” Neil asked.

Max turned back to the fight happening several feet away. He winced when he heard David yelp in pain but held himself from rushing forward.

“We can’t do anything. We’ll only get in the way. The only thing we can do now, is wait.”

David yelped as Daniel sliced his hind leg with the knife. He bit hard on the wrist holding the knife and kicked it away when Daniel dropped it in pain. Daniel tried to kick David off of him but David managed to pin him to the ground.

There’s no way I’m letting you escape. I don’t care if you tried to kill me but you tried to kill my campers and that is INEXCUSABLE!

David slammed his head against Daniel’s. Daniel slumped over, unconscious. David stepped off of Daniel and transformed.

“Are you kids okay?” He limped over to the huddled group of kids. He couldn't see any injuries on them.

They rushed forward and hugged him.

“Aww! I missed you too!” He kneeled and hugged them.

They stayed that way for a couple seconds before he stood up. He saw how Max looked embarrassed and was glaring at the ground.

“Took you fucking long enough. You had us worried sick, asshole!”

“I’m sorry I scared you all. If it weren’t for you kids though, I still would’ve been brainwashed.”

David walked over to the Quartermaster’s store and brought out a length of rope. He tied Daniel up, then returned to the kids.

“Ered, please call the police for me so that Daniel can be arrested.” He handed his phone over. David looked at the rest of the campers that weren’t brainwashed.

“I’m going to keep an eye on Daniel. Could the rest of you get me a bucket of water and some towels? I’m hoping that will be enough to wake the other campers. Please don’t go near the sauna or the Kool-Aid. I’m gonna need that as evidence for the police.”

The others quickly disbanded to do as David asked. David looked down at Daniel.

I can't believe I was so foolish. I should've followed my instincts when he first arrived at camp. I should've asked Gwen to stay or told her my suspicions. I'm sure this traumatized the kids and it's all my fault.

Nikki and Neil lugged the bucket of water over to David. He thanked them for their help and picked it up. He splashed it onto the brainwashed campers and sighed in relief when they cried out in indignation.

“Why are we all tied together?” Space kid looked at David.

David untied Max’s knot and helped the campers stand.

“When Daniel arrived, I had my suspicions that there was something dangerous about him. I didn’t act on it though because it seemed so unfounded. He was polite and his resume and previous experience were sterling. I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t trust him so I figured that I would just keep an eye on him and that everything would be okay. It’s why I never actually hired him. I wanted to be able to terminate his position if I needed to.” He turned to Max, Nikki, and Neil.

“When you three came to me with your suspicions of him being a cult leader, I should’ve fired him on the spot.”

David rubbed his elbow with his arm. “I’m sorry that I put you all in such danger. I failed to protect you and worse became brainwashed into someone who was willing to harm you.”

He hung his head in shame. David couldn’t hold back a sob.

I can’t believe I came so close to losing all of you. This whole situation was all my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t be a counselor. I’m sure they hate me now for almost allowing them to be killed.

“David, stop crying you fucking dumbass.” David stared at Max.

Max looked uncomfortable but pulled one hand out of his pant pocket and gestured to the others.

“Do you remember how we snapped you out of Daniel’s brainwashing?”

You guys told me… how much I care for everyone here at camp.

“You were reminding me of how much I love all you campers.”

Max smiled.

“That’s right! You may be an idiot but you genuinely care about us for some fucking reason. You broke free from the brainwashing because of that, so stop whining about your stupid delusions.”

David smiled and kneeled down again. He spread his arms out for a hug.

“Aww! Come here, you guys!” Everyone rushed him except for Max.

Max stood off to the side and watched the others in relief. David extended his arm and pulled him into the hug. It made him smile wider when the only form of protest Max gave him was the middle finger.

“That’s sooo touching.”

Everyone froze.

David stood up and pushed all the campers behind him. He could hear sirens wailing in the distance as he faced Daniel. Daniel was awake but completely immobile.

“I mean, sure you managed to stop me in the end, but you were too weak to do it on your own. Even as a werewolf! My goodness, that’s pathetic.”

David’s glare fell.

“You didn’t even trust your own instincts! Maybe you seem happy and naïve to everyone else but I can see the truth. You’re broken inside.”

David could feel Daniel’s words chipping at him.

“You lack confidence in yourself and in what you do. That’s why you struggle to get the kids to do anything, that’s why you’re always getting hurt, and that’s why I was able to get one over on you. You told me about everything that's happened in this camp so far besides being a werewolf, remember? The mascot, the times you've been hit by a bus, the stab marks on both your palms, especially everyone's attitude about camp. You’re a much better actor than I thought David.”

David stared at Daniel as the police pulled up. He guided the police to the sauna and table full of poisoned Kool-Aid. He led the officers to Gwen’s cabin so they could seize Daniel’s possessions. He gave his statement and waited as the campers were interviewed as well.

When all the cop cars disappeared down the dirt road, David guided the campers into the Mess Hall and put on a movie. He called for pizza delivery to cheer the kids up and ignored all the worried looks the kids were giving him. He assured them he was fine every time one of them asked if he was alright with a cheerful smile and pat on the head. Once they were all settled in, David excused himself to the bathroom. Once he was alone, David let the tears fall.

#camp camp #cc david #cc max #cc nikki #cc neil #cc preston #cc nerris #cc nerf #cc ered #cc space skid #cc daniel #cc harrison #camp camp fanfiction #werewolf david au #depressed david

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