So I clapped back at a middle aged conservative weirdo, the kind who's on here screaming at people about politics but also trying to be a softcore pornblog or unsuccessfully use tumblr like a hookup app, and when he pulled their usual "come over and fight me" routine he also very willingly provided an address when asked, which was blurred on google street view, which is something home owners can request.
Now my obvious thought is that he sent me someone else's place, but the same google search had also provided perfectly clear images of it thanks to the real estate industry.
And when I sent him one of these, he suddenly never responded again despite sending lots of vigorous threats up to that precise second, and that suggests to me that not only did he readily give out his address when asked, but he MAY have believed, somehow, that it was safe to do so as long as the house itself wasn't visible on street view. I do not know how that could have made sense to anybody, but sometimes children think they're invisible when they close their eyes, so maybe this is the internet tough guy equivalent to that level of reasoning.
Obviously I'm not gonna really doxx him or use it. I mean, if I did then at most I'd send him a cute funny greeting card?
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DPxDC Prompt: Who's Child Is This?
Inspired by an ICarly Clip.
"Mr. Wayne, we have your son here."
Bruce blinked, then checked the number on the phone. It was from the police station. He then looked around the table which had fallen silent when Alfred had brought him the phone.
Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke, and Damian were all accounted for. Even Jon was there so they couldn't have misidentified him as his kid.
"Which one?" Bruce chose to ask.
"Tim Drake."
Bruce looked at Tim specifically as he tilted his head confused. "Are you sure?"
"Oh yeah, Mr. Wayne, we know your boys by now."
"Right... alright, I'll be there in a couple of minutes. Can I ask on why Tim has been taken into custody?"
Tim tilted his head even further while some of the others around the table started chuckling.
"He was found trespassing near the new Axion Labs at the edge of the city. The owner chose not to press charges so we're sending him home in your custody."
"I see, I'll be there soon. Thank you for the call."
"Of course, Mr. Wayne, we'll see you soon."
Bruce ended the call then looked at his kids. "Apparently, Tim has been arrested for trespassing near the Axion Labs construction site."
"And you didn't even invite me?" Dick chuckled at Tim, "We could have had so much fun together."
Tim scrunched his nose at the idea. "No way, that whole area is an OSHA violation. If I went there it wouldn't be out of costume, whoever that kid is was risking his life just walking within a block of it."
"Well, I'm going to go down there and see what 'Tim' was thinking." Bruce got out of his seat, "I'll be back soon."
"New brother?" Cass asked as Damian growled.
"We're going to assume no for now, but we may have another for dinner depending on what's going on."
"I will prepare another seat while you are gone, Master Bruce."
"Thanks, Alfred. I'll be back soon."
-
When Bruce walked into the police station he immediately noticed 'Tim' sitting in front of one of the officers desks. It was a newer officer and it was clear that neither Detective Montoya or Commissioner Gordon were in or somebody would have noticed that this kid definitely wasn't Tim.
Yes, the kid had black hair which was on the shorter side but his hair fell in front of his face more than Tim would wear it, and his eyes were unnaturally blue. He was pale in an old hoodie, blue jeans, and red shoes. The biggest difference though was that this kid looked like he was only pushing 15, not 17. Yes, he looked quite a bit like Tim but anybody who had spent more than five minutes with Tim Drake would know they weren't the same person.
"Mr. Wayne." The officer called as Bruce walked over, looking at the kid.
He was thin and pale, which a tired look on his face. He also shrunk away from Bruce when he walked over.
Bruce knew what a kid in trouble looked like. So he smiled down at the kid. "You know, Tim, when I said you could go to the lab to do your science homework I didn't expect you to go all the way to Axion Labs."
The kid looked at him, surprised then seemed to quickly catch on. "What can I say, I had to see what terrible science looked like. Sorry for making you come down here."
"It's fine, but are you okay?"
"Y-yeah, totally." He said, his hand subconsciously moving to his ribs as though he was hurt.
"Alright then you are grounded."
"What?!" 'Tim' squeaked, "Come on-"
"Nope. You are ground... for... 'til... college."
"FOR 'TIL COLLEGE?!"
"For 'til college!"
The officer cleared his throat then held out a clipboard. "If you sign the red x's you can take your son and leave, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce took the papers, quickly looking over it and signing it. It was strange to see that all of the handwriting on the paperwork was adult writing. Had they even asked this kid his name? Once everything was signed he passed it back over to the officer who nodded.
"Looks good. Thanks Mr. Wayne and you stay out of trouble. The whole city knows your face. You're just lucky Mr. Masters didn't want to press charges."
"Yeah, so lucky." The kid rolled his eyes, then stood up and looked up at Bruce. "Can we go now?"
"Sure thing, chum. Come on." Bruce said, leading the kid out of the station and to the car. The kid seemed hesitant as he looked around, his eyes narrowing when they landed on a gentlemen with silver hair in a ponytail, only when the man smiled at 'Tim' did the kid speak up again.
"Come on, Dad, let's get out of here before the stalkers find us." He said, climbing in the front seat and closing the door, much to the annoyance of the silver haired man.
Bruce climbed in the front seat, buckling in and driving away from the station. "So... 'not Tim' what's your name?"
"Danny. Just Danny... sorry about all of that Mr. Wayne. That guy took one look at me and started calling me 'Tim' and when I tried to explain that I wasn't 'Tim' hey called me a liar. But if I gave them my real name then... somebody else was going to come collect me and I didn't want that. So... I let them call me Tim. I'm sorry, I hope it didn't put you out..."
"Not at all. But... are you okay? Why were you at Axion Labs?"
Danny seemed hesitant, "I... it sounds crazy."
"It's Gotham, kid. Crazy things happen all the time..."
"Right... well um... I-I was kidnapped from my home and taken to Axion Labs. I-I escaped and when I was trying to leave the grounds the police saw me and thought I was trespassing. Since the cops were I decided to play along with it..."
Bruce frowned, "Kidnapped? Is... is there somebody I can call?"
Danny shook his head. "I have an older sister who is probably going crazy looking for me but other than her and a couple of friends there wouldn't be anybody. My parents... they were kind of involved. They... they found out something about me and tried to hurt me, I ran to somebody I knew I couldn't trust because I thought maybe he would get his head out of his ass but I was just being an idiot." Danny hugged himself. "You can drop me off anywhere though, you don't have to bother yourself with me or my shit."
Bruce pulled to a stoplight and reached over to the kid who flinched, Bruce waited until he relaxed before Bruce patted his head. "I'm not going to just leave you on the street. Besides, it's late and by now my butler has already dished you some dinner. So at least for tonight you're welcome to stay with me and my kids. We'll get some food in your belly, make sure you're not wounded, let you call your sister, and find a way to get you home. Sound good?" He asked, moving his hand away.
Danny looked at Bruce, seeming a bit untrusting for a moment before he glanced at something near Bruce and relaxed. There was nothing with Bruce, he wasn't carrying anything, but whatever Danny was seeing was enough to put his mind at ease. "Okay... but if anybody tries anything be warned, I bite."
Bruce chuckled, "So do most of the others. You'll fit right in."
'But just what the hell is going on with this kid? Does it have anything to do with that man outside the police station? I've got to get to the bottom of this before this kid leaves, especially if he's still a target.'
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Hey idk if you take requests for monster lovers, but I liked the werewolf one so I would like to request one if possible! Can you write something where reader stumbles upon an abandoned castle and she meets the owner of the castle who is a vampire? Normally he wouldn’t tolerate trespassers, but he’s been very lonely these past decades and the new person is rather cute…
Omg this reminds me of Dracula and Lisa! I loved them in Castlevania.
Pairing: Male!Vampire x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, meet scary, first meeting, crushes, falling in love, domestic fluff, touch starved, kissing, neck kissing, drinking blood
A/N: Here's the thing about vampire bites in my headcanon, they actually feel really good when they're from a vampire you're in love with.
Touch-starved!Vampire who closes his doors to everyone, turning them away, scaring them or if they're really stubborn he will drain them of their blood entirely for bothering him too much. He doesn't want anything to do with... well anyone really. He's happy being on his own, for the most part. Or so he thought.
Touch-starved!Vampire who sees you lost near his castle and at first he wants to shoo you away like everyone else. He sends his bats to do the job. But... you're not scared of them. You think they're cute. Oh. Now that he looks at you again, you're pretty cute too.
Touch-starved!Vampire who doesn't know how you'll react to seeing his fangs so he keeps his hand over his mouth until you move it away for him. Are you actually curious about them? Most people scream bloody murder when they see them. Then again they more then likely to end up dead moments after so it's justified.
Touch-starved!Vampire who can't believe how warm your hands are on his cheeks. He's felt humans before but he never let them get close quite like this. Is he cold for you? If you follow him to the castle he can stand next to the fireplace if that would make you more comfortable.
Touch-starved!Vampire who doesn't understand what the hell is happening to him right now. He's rarely felt like this even around his own species, let alone a human woman. Very curious. He'll have to keep you around more, or at least have you visit more often until he figures it out.
Touch-starved!Vampire who can smell when you're approaching his castle and waits for you at the door, offering you his hand to welcome you in. This becomes something of a routine for you two, so much so that your friends ask about the handsome new man who walks you home every night. Very late at night, or just before the sun rises.
Touch-starved!Vampire who loves it when you eat in front if him. He doesn't eat human food, or rather he doesn't need to, but if he knows that you're the one who made it then he will try it. He will even let you use his very underutilized kitchen and cook with you just to be close to you.
Touch-starved!Vampire who panics when you cut your finger. He will leave if you want him too, he will get you first aid supplies too. He can't control the fact that his fangs elongate when he smells how good you are but its in his nature, so hopefully you don't hold it against him.
Touch-starved!Vampire who stumbles over his feet when you offer him your neck. Understand that for him this will be a big step in your relationship, a new dynamic. Are you sure you want to take this step with him? Because if not he would still love to have you around, your company is always welcome in his castle.
Touch-starved!Vampire who moans when he gets to taste your blood for the first time. He feed a few days ago but it wasn't like this. Is this... yes, he knows now, he's in love with you and from the noise you made when his fangs pierced your skin and how you're pressing against him and sighing contently he would say you feel the same.
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Stripper!Reader X Mafia!Konig
You just wanted to pay the bills and go home.
You didn't want to end up on the lap of the most dangerous man in the city...and you thought you'd never have to.
Your club isn't affiliated with any major players of the criminal scene - you're getting protection from one of the minor gangs, yes, but you always stayed away from territory wars. Working for tourists and visitors of the city, never gaining enough attention to make your lives dangerous...and yet, you knew immediately that the moment this man stepped into the room, you were unambiguously fucked.
You can't deny Konig, you don't want to be dead. You pretended not to recognize him, but he read right through this - and you hated each second spent under his gaze. He is... surprisingly gentle, however. Respects rules of the club and doesn't touch you, his fingers tapping against his own thighs as you shake your hips on his lap and try to make sure that he likes the view. If anything, he looked anxious, nervous - like he wasn't exactly sure what he was doing here...and it made you feel powerful. Important.
You rocked your hips against the tent in his pants, and he groaned audibly. His hands are going up to grab your waist - and it's the softest touch you've felt in a long time. If it weren't for an obvious outline of a gun in his pocket, you'd think he isn't in the mafia at all.
"So pretty, Schatzen..."
He is still wearing a mask - but his eyes alone are enough to make you squirm from unease. There, under the heat of lust, you could clearly see something...different. Evil, hungry, obsessive - you aren't sure if you'd survive this night, and if you do, would you ever be allowed outside of his clutches again.
He pushes more money into your bra than you ever saw in real life. And, surprisingly enough, he leaves you after this.
You just weren't aware yet that the club has a new owner now. And your services are going to be extremely exclusive.
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The monster adoption fair was like nothing you could imagine. It was massive. Feeling as though it stretched on forever. Creatures ranged from mundane to outlandish. Rows upon rows of were-creatures- be it wolves or cats, naga or foxes or great feathered birds and more- all nestled safely within their kennels. A sign directed the way to where the centaurs, minotaurs, and satyrs were kept. You barely gave it a glance before turning down the next row. Tanks held merfolk and sirens, some muzzled for safety, and a number of amphibian and reptilian creatures. One tank in particular seemed impossibly large. The water in it so dark you weren't sure what could be inside. That was until a great suckered tentacle brushed along the glass.
Your heart kicked against your chest at the sight of it. Half primal fear, but the other half. Well, there wasn't any use dwelling on it. There was no way you could imagine what caring for something that large would take.
You wander deeper, giddiness welling inside you. The background checks you had to pass, the rounds and rounds of interviews you had to go through to prove that you would be a responsible owner. All of that and more was worth it to be allowed entry into the fair.
There was a temperature change in the next room you entered. Everything was warm enough that you were already starting to sweat before taking even a dozen steps inside. Demons, incubi, succubi, and plenty more beyond that all stared out at you through their glassed enclosures. The glass was thick enough that you couldn't hear their words, but the way they moved, so languid and sensual, had a blush rising to your cheeks that had nothing to do with the heat. The temperature slowly lowered as you approached the far end of the room. The creatures in those enclosures were more insectoid. Joints that seemed to bend the wrong way, appendages stranger than any you'd seen before. You couldn't help but pause to watch their twitching movements and how they traversed the structures in their enclosures. Beyond those lay more familiar creatures. Giant bees. Wasps with their wings beating so fast you were sure you could hear their buzz. Moths that had left a fine coat of powder from their wings on the glass. After a moment of awe you move on.
The temperature in the next room was considerably lower. A much welcomed respite from the heat. More tanks and enclosures filled this room. Your heart began to speed for you had made it to the room you had come for. Slimes of all sizes and colors pressed against their glass. There were plenty of humanoid slimes with big, soft eyes and coy smiles, but that wasn't what you wanted. You brushed past the larger tanks with barely more than a second glance. A smaller companion was what you were seeking. Something that wouldn't take up too much space, but was easy to cuddle with if you wanted.
You carefully inspected a number of tanks. Some of the slimes gave off a faint glow while others shimmered under the lights. There were even some that seemed to change from one color to another as they moved. Each one had a small description plate in front of it detailing habits, temperament, enrichment suggestions, and more besides. The wiggling masses within regarded you with varying levels of interest.
One, however, immediately perked up when you approached it. It was a beautiful pearl white that sparkled with golds and pinks. It swarmed against its glass, pressing itself as close to you as it could manage. Tentatively you placed a gentle hand against the glass. Doing so wasn't allowed, but you couldn't help the way it was drawn to you. A trickle of warmth passed through the glass and a wave of calm washed over you. This was it. The one you would take home had claimed you for its own.
You quickly scribbled down your guest number on the provided card, and took a copy of the creature's location card. The slime remind pressed against the glass as if watching you work. It was only when you began to walk away did it shrink back down to the bottom of its container.
It took a while to locate a staff member among the vast network of rooms and the other visitors of the fair.
"I would like to adopt this creature please," you said as you handed over the slime's identification card.
The worker scanned the card before giving you a sympathetic look. "Are you sure about this? This particular slime has been bounced back to us at least three times. It's very temperamental."
You recall the wave of calm you had felt when you were only separated from it by the glass beneath your hand. "I'm certain."
"Have you ever had a slime before?"
"No," you admitted, "I've never had the money to adopt one. I've been saving for years though, and I'm certain this is the slime I want."
"You might want to start with an easier one first. You being brand new to this and all. I can almost guarantee that this one will still be around if you decide to go looking later."
You shake your head. "I appreciate the advice, but I'm set on this one," you say firmly.
"Suit yourself," the worker shrugs. "Not like the poor thing isn't used to coming back here."
"I'm going to take great care of it. I've got my apartment set up and everything."
"Alrighty then. You can go ahead and head up front to pay. I'll have your slime brought up by the time you finish." The identification card is handed back to you.
As promised, there was a small, travel sized tank waiting for you after you'd paid and gone through the mandatory speech on slime care. You already knew most of it after years of research, but it did remind you of a few things you seemed to have forgotten.
You carried your new creature out to your car and buckled the tank safely in the front seat.
"Alright little slime, it's me and you now. I'm going to make sure you have a good new life. I'm not going to give up on you like the others." You pat the top of the tank and feel a vibration and a soft noise from the other side of the glass, almost as if the creature was purring.
Back home you carried the case over to the tank you had prepared for it and sat it inside. Only then did you open the travel container so that the slime had a chance to safely explore and get used to its new surroundings. You secured the tank lid and went off to put away the pamphlets that the adoption fair had given you.
When you returned the slime had moved into the big tank. It pressed itself against the glass as though it could sense you.
"Hey there, it looks like you're getting used to your new place. I hope that it’s big enough for you. It'll be a while before I can afford something bigger, but even then I'm not sure it would fit."
The slime vibrated again.
You smile and open the tank to remove the travel container. The slime oozed off of the glass and to the bottom of its tank. You stick your hand back down, fingers brushing affectionately against it. Another purr came from it. This time, the first time you've actually touched it, had it suckling at your fingers. Calmness washed over you again. Your fingertips began to tingle.
"Hey now, what are you doing?" You pull away with a laugh.
The slime follows you up, but releases you once your hand is nearly out of its tank. It sinks back down into a puddle and crawls to a corner as if sulking.
With another laugh you reach both hands down toward it. "Alright, if you're going to be mad about it, I guess I can let you out for a bit. We'll both have a chance to properly meet each other."
It surged upward into your hands. It oozed over the edges of your hands, but retained its overall shape. You carried it over to the couch.
The creature puddled into your lap. Bare seconds had passed before it was sending tendrils out to explore you. It wrapped itself up your arms. Retreated and slid along your neck. It caressed your lips and coated your stomach.
No residue was left in its wake. You had expected needing a full shower after taking it out of its tank, but perhaps not. Calmness had stolen through you, stronger now that the two of you were touching. The soft, lapping movements over your skin lulled you. Before you knew it you were stretching out across the couch, mind hazy with calm. Time passed and your eyes dropped closed. Your slime exploring you had faded into the back of your consciousness.
When it slipped beneath your clothes you barely noticed. Not even when it explored lower, seeking out the warmth between your thighs. By then your body was pliant and wanting. A wanting that stole over you on paws so soft that you couldn't remember not that want. Something secret, just for you. The slime drizzled like honey into your center. So slow and fluid you didn’t register the feeling. No, you existed in a state of such hazy serenity that it was only when the slime began to purr that you clicked back to reality.
The purr sent a jolt through you. A vibration that had your hands clenching into fists on pure instinct. Now you could properly feel the ebb and glide of it within you. Your hazed mind began to clear with your racing heart. Heat bloomed in your cheeks. Seemingly of their own accord, your hips began to rock. The slime began to spread. It filled you in ways it hadn’t before. A moan escapes your mouth. You arch your back, trying desperately to grind on thin air.
The slime moves inside you as if thrusting. Hitting you deep and slow. Even through your first orgasm it doesn't stop. It sent another wave of haze inducing calm washing over you. Keeping you right on the edge. Making sure you felt every millimeter of it. A tendril of slime draws out of you. It spreads to cover your center. The feeling of it sucking at you pulls another orgasm from your pliant body.
It wrings orgasm after orgasm out of you. The state of bliss and arousal is never disrupted for long. It ebbs and flows from orgasm to orgasm until, finally, the slime pulls away. It climbs up your sweat slicked skin to nestle against your chest, purring contentedly.
"Little slime," you whisper, "you and I are going to get along very well."
HAVE YOUR AGE LISTED OR CATCH A BLOCK
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