#but practically using broad strokes maintains privacy without alienating supervisors
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what employers need to know: what you can do for them when
what employers don't need to know: the details of why
#legally they don't need to know Any of the why#but practically using broad strokes maintains privacy without alienating supervisors#storm's posts#this isn't personal so far but this is v3.5 of maddie's intoxicated tag rambles so let's get it out of the way:#personal#you can ignore this#*legally in the usa#gotta qualify that bc everywhere is different and also the us is a specific flavor of weird#broad strokes!! an appointment! a family event! a personal emergency!#frankly i believe details should only be shared to guilt supervisors into complying with basic decency#ie don't start with it but if they refuse what you think is a reasonable request Then give them another layer of detail#but not the final layer of detail! 'personal emergency' to 'my mother is in the hospital' to 'my mother's heart surgery had complications'#if the details aren't relevant to their operations then digging for the details should make them feel guilty#...i think the utilitarian perspective on this would be roughly 'save your strongest weapons until they're needed'#look family and friends and coworkers all need specific degrees of truth#and employers need the Least specifics. the details aren't relevant!#you aren't available or you won't be as effective or you might not be as effective#those are what employers need and deserve to know. and that's It#also if they ask why you didn't say earlier: you didn't want to overshare or you didn't want to burden other people will almost always work#(it's basically another phrasing for 'it's none of your business but if you Insist' but usa business polite)#('how is this relevant?' and 'i didn't think it was relevant' are the two Most Important tool phrases)#(it's not relevant! they're either nosy or controlling and either way they deserve a flick in the nose!!)#(an example of fourth level continuing from above: 'my mother has been in the icu for almost a month sorry if i'm a Little Distracted)#(don't weaponize guilt until someone has been shitty first)#(start with neutral Then escalate)#(from both a moral and practical perspective lmfao)#(there's a lotta overlap if you poke at things enough)#(...or maybe i just poke my morals too much?? but idk they seem all the more solid for it.)#(figuring out what hills you will die for and are Worth dying for is part of maturation imo)#(figure out what you care about on the Big things. should anyone be hungry? homeless? unable to vote?)
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