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writingamongtheroses-archive · 4 years

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Showtime, Chapter 2

(Because, somehow, I never posted 2.)

Night 1

The uniform was too big.

Liza ended up rolling up the pants to tuck them into her work boots and used a few spare pins to keep the sleeves of her button-up rolled up. The entire thing was a shade of blue, faded in the way a few hundred washes could only do. Over her heart was Ted Bear's Pizza, stitched in golden thread. (Which was weird, since none of the characters were yellow.) The worse part was the hat.

She could've just dropped the scarf. It wasn't like anyone was going to see her or the scars that arched across her forehead. But the very thought of losing her comfort item made her want to faint. So, she struggled for fifteen minutes to get the too-small hat to fit over the scarf before she glanced at the clock and gave it one last pull before booking it out the door.

She could take the hat off at the office.

Liza arrived at 11:40, right when the last of the cleaning crew was leaving. Mr. Calworth was waiting for her just inside the dining hall. "I forgot to mention yesterday- to save power, we use a generator during the night," he said, patting her shoulder. "I'll lock the door."

"Wait, but I'm supposed to-"

He was already out the door. "Lock up..." Liza raised a brow but decided to ignore the...shadiness of the entire thing.

Sv'h srwrmt hlnvgsrmt.

She settled into the office easily, picking up the tablet that was apparently used to monitor the cameras. Liza hummed an absent tune as she flipped through the cameras. Ten, then twenty minutes passed before the clock showed 12:00. The lights shuddered as the restaurant switched from city to generator power.

The phone rang.

Liza let out a yelp, nearly falling over in the chair. She righted herself and grabbed the phone. Had Mr. Calworth forgotten to tell her something? "Hello-?"

"Hello, hello! Hey, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you out on your first night." Oh. It was a recording. Liza set the phone back into place. "Um, I actually worked in that office, finishing my last week. I know this job can get...overwhelming."

Liza scoffed. "It's watching a bunch of animatronics to make sure they don't get stolen." She returned to leaning back, flipping through the cameras. "How overwhelming can it get?" She stopped on the dining hall's cam, noticing something

"There's this company policy thing I have to read, so here we go. Welcome to Ted Bear's Pizza, a magical place for kids and smiles, blah, blah...Ted Bear's Pizza is not responsible for damage to property or person..." All the animatronics were staring at the camera. "Upon discovery that death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed in 90 days, or until the cleanup and bleaching is done." Liza stiffened, staring at the phone in horror.

What the fuck.

"Now, I know it sounds bad. But really, there's nothing to worry about! The animatronics here do get a bit...quirky at night, but do I blame them? No! If I had to sing the same stupid songs for years without a bath, I'll be a bit irritable too! So, remember, these characters hold a special place in everyone's hearts and we need to treat them with respect!"

He continued on about some free-roam mode and servos locking up, Liza still stuck on the 'death has occurred' part. "Uh, they used to be able to free-roam during the day, but then the Bite of '85 happened. Then they got taken off free-roam a few years later, but a kid got too close a few years ago and the Bite of '05 happened."

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck...

"The first kid died. I think the second kid was in a coma for a bit, but she survived after they stitched her brain back together. Amazing, right? Now, concerning your safety, the only real threat to you as a nightguard is that the animatronics will confuse you for an endoskeleton without a suit. That's against the rules here, so they'll try to stuff you into a suit. That wouldn't be so bad, except they're filled with machinery and stuff. Which can cause a little bit of discomfort...and death."

QUEMIERDAQUEMIERDAQUEMIERDAQUEMIERDA...

"Yeah, the only part of you that would likely see the light of day again is your eyeballs." There was a sardonic chuckle. Liza started to hit her head against the desk, resisting the urge to wail. "Yeah, they don't tell you this when they hire you. But, hey! The first day should be a breeze! Remember to conserve power, check your cameras, and use the doors only if absolutely necessary. Talk to you tomorrow!"

The recording ended. Liza peeled her face off the desk to grab the tablet. She paled at not only seeing that the power was already at 98% but the dog...Rex, that's right, was off-stage. He was standing in the center of the dining hall, staring at the camera with a cross look. She gulped, glancing at the remote.

She could figure out what the military-grade doors were for now.

-_-

There was a heartbeat.

It could feel it, all the way in the dark. It hummed absently. It was too hard to choose during the day, it distracted from the adults by the lovely, glowing heartbeats of the children. It was forced to choose during the night, with only one type to choose from.

Talk about slim pickings.

It reached out for the heartbeat-

Oh.

Cruel irony. Too cruel for this world, but not cruel enough for this family tragedy. It could feel its Other shift, recognizing the familial bond. It pulled away to soothe before returning to the feeling of the heart.

The choice was cruel. But it didn't have a choice.

It had been too choosy in the past. He had been too choosy.

Cruel irony could wait.

-_-

When Liza decided to try the east hall light and saw Rex's leering face, she let out a scream and jabbed the button for the east door hard enough that she was sure for a minute that she had broken her finger.

She sat there panting for a minute. Tio Rafael was right, I need to cut down on la cafeína. She glanced at the tablet to see the battery had dropped from 96 to 85- crap, she still had the door down. Liza peered through the door’s window. The lack of Rex meant she could probably open the door.

She glanced through the cameras to see the trio's guitarist, Kitty-Cat, was gone. The camera in the kitchen lacked a picture, but it did have audio. She could hear the crash of pots and pans. When she glanced at the Parts and Services room, Rex was glaring at the camera.

"Buen perro. Quédate ahí."

She stopped at Treasure Cavern's camera, noticing that the curtain was twitching. Eventually, it moved to reveal Captain Bun. Liza raised a brow at the bunny's position. The animatronic looked tense like it was preparing to-

No.

"No, no, no," Liza hissed, trying to figure out which hallway. Her tablet choked for death. "No te atrevas!"

Bun took off. The woman froze, realizing she could hear the bunny coming. She sprang for the remote, slamming the west door button. It slammed down right when Bun was at the doorway. Liza let out a sigh of relief, glancing at her watch. It was 2. Huh, time ran fast when you were fighting for your life-

Bang.

BANG!

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG-

It sounded like Bun was trying to break down the door. Liza took a chance and checked the east light. She was forced to push the east door button when she saw Kitty. It felt like an eternity before the banging stopped and she heard Bun run away. It took a little longer before she heard Kitty limp away.

74%.

This tablet was a traitor, she decided. A horrible traitor. Un horrible, horrible pedazo de mierda bastardo. She was calling Tio Rafael after her shift to demand what he and Tio Vincent were thinking when they were making these things. Then she was quitting.

The hours slipped away as she fended off Rex, Kitty, and Bun. Strangely, Ted himself hadn't come by yet, even though he was clearly off-stage. As the hours passed, it seemed like they were getting discouraged. It was 5:50 AM when the pedazo de mierda that called itself a tablet was at 5%. She whimpered as it fell to 4, 3, 2...

It was exactly 5:59 when it hit 0.

The doors slid up. The lights died. The horrible, horrible pedazo de mierda bastardo went dark. Liza sat frozen in the dark, dead silence. She covered her mouth when she heard heavy footsteps, trying to stifle her breathing. A music box was playing- sickeningly, she recognized the tune. It was a lullaby that her family sang to each other. She resisted a hysterical giggle.

Voy a morir a manos de la creación de mis tíos, escuchando a mi canción de cuna familiar.

Before she could think of some type of escape plan, the footsteps stopped at the door. She looked up to meet Ted Bear's brown eyes. She could recognize Tío Vincent's eyes in the brown glass orbs. This time, she didn't resist the hysterical giggle.

A hand reached for her...

The lights flipped on. Liza let out a squawk, closing her eyes. When she peeled them open, Ted had stepped back. Was it just her or did he look frustrated? She didn't have time to take in his expression, because he turned and walked away. She grabbed the tablet and let out a cheer when it came to life. She watched through the cameras as the animatronics returned to the stage.

It took a good ten minutes before Liza could manage her way out. She was forced to pass through the dining hall, stopping to consider the bots on-stage.

There, they looked perfectly innocent. Nope, nothing weird here at all, no siree.

They could buy steel bombproof doors, but not a technician to reprogram these things?

Tomorrow, she was going to call Mr. Calworth and try and quit. She shot out of the restaurant with that thought, heading to her car. She tried to start it. One look at the dash and the arrow pointing to the E and Liza let her head thunk against the wheel.

One more day couldn't hurt. She could try and call the recording guy back.

One more day, and then she'll quit.

#heartbeat series #heartbeat #wip #writblr #writeblr

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101flavoursofweird · 6 years

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Rhythm Thief Secret Santa 2017

My Rhythm Thief Secret Santa for @trashical-girl. They asked for a cute date or dancing between Raphael x Marie. So... These two have a Christmas date at a toy store :D Thanks to @sleepybrainiac and @regu-1 for organising the Secret Santa!

Title: A Couple of Jokers

Description: Raphael takes Marie to a toy store on Christmas Eve. Shenanigans ensue.

Spoilers: For The Emperor’s Treasure

Pairings: Raphael/Marie

La Cour des Jokers – one of the largest, oldest toy stores in all of Paris. By day, the store was rife with bell chimes, animatronic greetings, toy vehicles whizzing about, video game blasts, barnyard animal noises, baby doll cries, cash register beeps, children’s laughter and the sighs of hapless parents. By night, it became a silent maze, rumored to be haunted.

Raphael was relying on those rumors that Christmas Eve. Not that he put much stock in ghost stories. Just over a year ago, he had beaten a guy pretending to be Napoleon Bonaparte back from the grave. There was only one true phantom in this town. Phantom R! He was about to pull off the holiday heist of the century… without actually stealing anything.

If he was honest, he had returned to Paris that day and hadn’t found enough time to buy Marie a Christmas present. She was overjoyed when he arrived at her manse, but that joy turned to confusion and doubt when he merely handed her a gift voucher.

“It’s a voucher for La Cour des Jokers!” Fondue had picked it up off the street. Raphael wouldn’t dare mention that.

“Oh…” She raised her eyebrows at the red court jester grinning at her from the voucher. “Thank you. I’ll ask Mama if she wants to visit the store with me.”

“Hold that thought – I’m taking you to the store tonight!” He really was making this up as he went along. “You can spend that voucher on whatever you like. How does that sound?”

“I’d much rather just spend time with you,” Marie teased, taking his hand. “If that means sneaking into a toy store, then so be it… as long as we, um, don’t leave any damages.”

Having worked at Simon’s shop, Raphael knew how tough it could be to run a business at this time of year. They would have to be extra careful not to jeopardize the toy store owners or their employees. Raphael switched to his Phantom R facade and flipped his hat. “Phantom’s honor – we’ll be in and out without a trace. Also, you might want to bring your violin…”

Breaking in (minus any breakages) was much easier said than done. As far as Raphael was aware, there weren’t any secret entrances into La Cour des Jokers.

He, Marie and Fondue scaled the storefront and stared in through the glass ceiling windows. The security system wasn’t as complex as that of the Louvre, but through the dim light, Raphael still spied a couple of cameras and five guards on patrol. (Law enforcement didn’t take a break during Christmas.) He could find a way to temporarily disable the cameras. As for the guards… This was where the ‘haunted’ rumors came in handy.

He located a ventilation duct on the roof and signaled to Marie. She started playing Moon Princess on her violin. The melody echoed through the vent and across the store, powering up all of the lights and animatronics inside.

Raphael smirked when he heard shrieks from the security guards:

“Mon dieu!”

“The toys… They’re alive!”

“S-someone call the Constabulary – ”

“No! Call SOS Fantômes!”

“RUN!”

Five guards fled from the store.

“Now’s our chance,” Raphael hissed. He winced as he tore open the vent. “I’ll, uh, reimburse them for that… You go first, Fondue. Bark if it’s all clear down there.”

Fondue yelped as he slid down the chute. They heard a bump and after a minute, the echo of a bark.

“Look out below, bud!” Raphael followed Fondue down there, narrowly avoiding him when he landed in the vent. He caught Marie when she came down.

Fondue led the way with his nose. Raphael and Marie crawled after him until they reached a grate. They could see the illuminated shop floor beneath them.

It took Raphael a good kick to get the grate open. He poked his head out, hanging upside down, and almost hit a toy helicopter Marie’s music had brought to life.

More worrying was the flashing security camera not two feet away from him. He retracted his head into the vent. “Camera, right beneath us.”

“Do you know where the Security Room is?” Marie wondered.

“Nope, but I’ve got another idea.” He scanned the shop floor for something that could help them. Action figures, Lego sets, footballs, bikes, trampolines, Nerf guns...

Raphael snickered. “It’s Nerf or nothing.”

Marie gave him a sideways glance.

“Wait here.”

He dropped down from the vent, agile as a cat. A giant Lego man offered him cover from the camera’s gaze. He darted past the bikes, behind a trampoline and over to the stack of Nerf guns, grabbing one out on display. (He hadn’t used one of these since he was a kid!) He loaded the gun, took aim and fired a foam dart at the camera lens. The dart stuck – bull’s-eye!

He quickly disabled the other cameras he could find. Then he pushed a trampoline underneath the vent opening and called up to Marie and Fondue. The two of them jumped out and bounced on the trampoline.

“That was fun,” Marie gasped.

Raphael gestured to the trampoline. “Would this fit in your garden?”

“Definitely, but we’d never get it out of the store.”

“What about a bike?” Raphael picked out a bright blue bike with training wheels and a basket on the front. “You could enter Tour de France!”

Marie breathed, “I’ve never owned a bike…” She frowned. “Again, we’d have some trouble carrying it out.”

“You can still try it out. We’ll ride around the store!” Raphael insisted. He passed her the bike and a white helmet. He grabbed a red bike for himself, sans training wheels. Fondue hopped into the basket on Marie’s bike, sitting next to her violin case.

“Ready?”

Marie nodded determinedly and stared peddling. “Ready!”

“Hey, hold on!”

The sped along the aisles, considering which toys Marie could buy.

Raphael hollered, “Do you like board games?” They had everything, from Monopole to Hungry Hippos.

“There are so many to choose from!”

They passed a band of instruments playing by themselves. (The power of Moon Princess still lingered here.)

“A mini keyboard?”

“It sounds lovely… but we already have a piano in the parlor!”

When they encountered the stuffed animals section, Fondue leapt out of the basket. He picked up a fluffy pink rabbit in his jaws and dropped it at Marie’s feet. “Woeuf!”

“I love it!” She lifted the rabbit and patted Fondue’s head. “Thank you, Fondue!”

“Sure you don’t want something a little less... slobbery?” Raphael laughed as Marie adjusted her grip on the rabbit. “They have some dolls over there – “

“No, this is fine.”

She placed the rabbit firmly in the basket. She began wheeling her bike away, not turning back to Raphael or the dolls. Fondue gave Raphael an unhelpful look and plodded after her.

“Was it something I said?” Raphael muttered to the dolls. They watched him with unblinking glass eyes and empty expressions. Shuddering, Raphael caught up to his friends.

“You were right, Marie. Those dolls are way too creepy...”

“It’s not that,” she whispered as he walked alongside her. She went quiet for a few minutes. Raphael noticed Moon Princess’s spell was starting to wear off – the lights flickered above them and the animatronics had fallen silent. Though he had a hunch he knew what was wrong, he didn’t want to push Marie. She had never forced him to share his secrets.

They finally came to the checkout lanes. Marie revealed, “Years ago, Jean-François liked to spoil me.” She scowled at her violin case. “If I played extraordinarily well, he would buy me toys – dolls, mostly. Bikes and trampolines would be far too dangerous. What if I broke my arm and could no longer play the violin?”

He had treated her like a dainty windup doll who would play for him over and over again.

“I’m sorry,” Raphael murmured. Why hadn’t he considered this before he brought her to a toy store?

She hugged him. “Don’t apologize. Tonight has been... incredible. I never did anything this exciting when I was little.”

He tried to think of something smooth, something Phantom R would say, but then she snuggled against his chest and he stammered, “I love you.”

“I love you too – “

“Grrrrr! Woeuf!”

“Alright, we’re coming,” Raphael huffed to Fondue. “We’ll leave the voucher here and some Euros for the busted vent.”

“Don’t forget your Nerf gun,” Marie pointed out, placing her voucher and a 50 Euro note above a cash register. “It’s your present from me.”

“Wo-woeuf!”

Ignoring Fondue’s impatient yaps, Raphael cradled his new Nerf Gun and grinned at Marie. “Thanks, Marie… That should be more than enough money to make it up to the store – “

“Do you really think that will cover the cost of your crimes, Phantom?”

Standing at the end of the checkout aisle, wearing a green Christmas sweater under her coat, was Charlie Vergier.

Raphael snapped his fingers at her. “I knew someone was watching us!” (Fondue snorted.)

Marie attempted to appease Charlie. “Shouldn’t you be at home spending Christmas with your father?”

“I was... until he received a distress call from the Constabulary.” Charlie hummed loudly. “Something about violin music and moving toys at La Cour des Jokers.”

Sheepishly, Marie hid her violin case behind her.

“Sorry for ruining your Christmas Eve,” Raphael said. If his dad was around, he’d spend every minute with him. “We’ll let you get back to your dad – “

“I’ve waited a whole year for this.” Charlie pulled out a soccer ball. “All I want for Christmas is to CAPTURE YOU!”

She recoiled as Raphael shot a round of foam darts at her.

“Run!” Marie cried, grabbing her rabbit and Raphael’s hand. They dashed to the entrance doors, only to be met with red and blue police lights and Vergier’s booming voice.

“YOU’RE AT THE TOP OF MY LIST, PHANTOM R!” (Where did they come up with these seasonal puns?)

“Back to the vent,” Raphael yelped. It was so dark that they missed Charlie as they cheesed it back to the trampoline and bike area.

The three of them scrambled onto the trampoline. Raphael bounced hard, giving Fondue and Marie a boost into the secret opening. Before he could join them, something whipped through the air and wrapped around his legs, almost tripping him off the trampoline.

“Really, Charlie?” he moaned, struggling to untangle himself from the skipping rope. His struggles increased as Charlie surged towards him. “I thought Christmas was a time for friendship...”

“Phantom R!” Marie shouted from above.

“Woeuf!”

“Get out,” he yelled to them.

Charlie’s pace slowed to a saunter. “Don’t worry. I won’t mention Marie was involved. You’re the one who masterminded the entire operation, but this is low even for you. Robbing a children’s toy store at Christma – Ow!” She had taken a pink rabbit to the face.

“Sorry, Charlie!”

Marie leapt down, helped Raphael free and the pair of them jumped up to the vent.

Charlie tossed the rabbit away and clambered onto the trampoline.

“I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU TWO YET!”

“Crawl,” Raphael gasped. Fondue was already waiting at bottom of the chute. Raphael pushed Marie up. He passed Fondue up to her. Then she heaved Raphael onto the roof.

“What now?” Marie panted. The store was surrounded by police cars. “If we make a run for it on foot, Vergier and his officers will catch us – “

“Woeuf!” Fondue was pawing at something triangular left on the roof.

Marie squinted. “Is that a tent?”

“Charlie’s hang-glider,” Raphael exclaimed. He lifted it up by the handle bar, testing its weight. “It’s strong enough to take you, me and Fondue. Come on!”

It felt wrong, stealing from Charlie, but she hadn’t left them with much choice right now.

Marie stood in front of Raphael and the handle bar as they waddled to the edge of the roof. Raphael wouldn’t let her fall. If anything, they should be more concerned for Fondue. He had to hold on to Raphael’s leg!

There were several bangs and Charlie burst out of the ventilation duct.

“My glider!”

“We’ll send you a new ooooone!” Raphael yelled as they dived off the roof. They flew right over the astonished officers’ heads. Marie heard Vergier roar, but she didn’t open her eyes until they were soaring above the cityscape. She released a shaky breath.

“You ok?” Raphael checked, raising his voice over the wind.

“Mmhm!”

“I’m sorry about your rabbit! You can have the Nerf gun if you want!”

Marie shook her head. “Charlie will be more upset about her glider. Are you really going to send her a new one?”

“The newest, best model I can find,” Raphael promised. “I’ll even get her initials written on the wings.”

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate tha – WAH!” Her grip had slipped for a minute, but one of Raphael’s arms wrapped around her waist.

“I’ve got you!”

Marie stuttered, “A- are we going to land soon?”

“Hrrrn...” Fondue whined in agreement.

“Sure thing! Where to?”

“Back to my house?”

They swooped over the Sorbonne and descended onto Marie’s balcony at the manse. Marie was relieved to be back on solid ground.

She opened the balcony doors. “You have to stay the night. I can’t leave you alone at Christmas.”

He dropped the glider on the balcony, gaping at the the grandeur of her room. (She had so much stuff – what more could she get for Christmas?)

“I don’t want to intrude... I’ve caused you enough trouble this evening – “

“It’s no trouble at all.” Marie ushered him into the room, out of Fondue’s sights. She added in his ear, “As long as you don’t report me to the constables.”

They were so close to now...

Phantom R would be prepared with a flirtatious reply. Raphael just about managed to kiss her on the lips.

“Deal,” he murmured.

#Rhythm Thief Secret Santa 2017 #rhythm thief #raphael #Marie #Raphael/Marie #Phantom R #Fondue #charlie vergier #Inspector Vergier #Christmas 2017 #RT fics #Fanfiction #my writing

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novelistorange · 6 years

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Chapter 3

Friday, August 27, Evening

I’m not very fond of carnivals.

It’s not that I don’t like fun. Not to say I don’t like fun or anything. In fact, the very definition of fun includes enjoyment. Therefore, nobody, myself included, can dislike fun, because the definition of “fun” implies enjoyment.

But I digress. The point of that tangent was: I don’t like carnivals.

Naturally, I found myself at one anyways. Of course.

Specifically, I found myself at a booth, staring down a nefarious three by three grid of air-inflated water balloons.

Click.

Shooting an airsoft gun isn’t very hard.

Click. Pop.

At this distance, shooting requires two forms of compensation. The first is, of course, gravity. The second is the natural tendency of the gun. This one was missing the sight. Its trigger wasn’t smooth, and the bullet had rather poor curvature. In short, it was old, battered, and judging from the dust in the slits, long decommissioned. It was a wonderful tool. For making sure nobody actually won anything, that is. Sneaky, sneaky.

I aimed slightly above and to the right of the balloon target.

Click. Pop.

The girl at the booth nodded in approval. “You know, you would do well in Field Sports team. Think about joining.”

“I’ll consider it.”

But I wouldn’t really. To start with, I wasn’t really into guns. Secondly, a shooting gallery at a carnival hardly constitutes a sufficient audition for a serious team. A gallery is only under the most ideal of circumstances, barring the gun, of course, and the distance here can’t be more than ten feet.

Click. Pop.

This is ignoring heart rate, nerves, and other adverse factors. This is why police officers who are listed as crack shots through performance at a range might still end up missing or worse, hitting a civilian.

The principle is simple. Idealized situations are perfect--and fake. Idealization and reality are incongruent and incompatible.

No matter how high you score, the end result is the same. French philosopher Jean Baudrillard put it best. “Like dreams, statistics are a form of wish fulfilment.” Those who claim otherwise are delusional.

Click. Pop.

In an instant, in a flash, the last balloon disintegrated into a few scraps of rubber, falling like leaves to the wooden floorboards.

I tapped the trigger a few more times, to ensure that it was, in fact, empty.

“Hey, try spinning it around your fingers! Like this!” Leo grabbed it and started a twirl. The girl choked and grabbed the empty pistol.

“That’s how they break. And that’s how people get shot.” In place of the pistol, the booth girl handed me a teddy bear, along with a flyer. “Here you go. Thanks so much!”

We kept walking. Leo stopped in front of the Computer Club’s booth. His face turned somber.

“Any news?”

The boy (whom I assumed was the president) shook his head. “Nothing.”

“I see. Thank you.” Leo averted his gaze and resumed walking. Xylia looked as though she wanted to ask him what that was about, but both her and I couldn’t work up the courage. We kept walking.

Leo stopped us in front of an empty booth populated by one silver-haired girl.

“Y-you-!”

I stepped away from the table. That silver hair… that girl was--

That was the girl who’d been in ‘that world.’ I was sure of it. Her, and Leo. But… that was… a delusion, wasn’t it?

So how did I end up hallucinating a girl who happened to exist in real life? Was it really that theory? Or...

She looked up at me from her game. Hitting a button she said, “Sup. You need something, Scarlet?”

“Scarlet?” I asked. The silver-haired girl pointed at me.

“In the red. You. You keep looking at me funny.” Seeing my lack of response, she returned to her game.

“Wait, Yuna.” Leo said, “Let’s do an intro. Uhhh… the Emblem version.”

The silver girl frowned. “Right now? But I like the Elder version better.”

“Fine, you do your Elder one, I’ll do my Emblem. Hand me the broom.” Leo pointed the handle at me. “In the red, that’s Xavier. He’s Villager A. That’s Xylia, his sister. She’s Villager B.”

Villager A and Villager B. Flattering. Xylia and I exchanged a quick glance. Nope. She had no clue what was happening either.

“This is my club,” Leo explained, twirling his broom like a sword. “And I am the leader of this crew of vigilantes! Hailing from the royal house of Ylisse, bearer of the Mark of the Magus, wielder of the Holy Sword, it is I, Sir Azure!”

The girl posed with a mop behind her back. “And I, of the Silver Elf tribe from the frozen steppes of the north, the death scythe that pierces the night sky, Luna vi Nox!”

The two of them stood posing for several seconds. Xylia and I weren’t sure how to react.

“Pretty cool, huh? The two of us are the core… of Mendax High’s Hero Club! I’m the club president. This is my VP.”

They kept posing. Xylia looked at me again, and then slowly began clapping. She looked at me, confused, and just kept clapping, slowly.

They kept posing.

“You can stop now.”

They didn’t stop, though Leo did adjust his broom to point at us. “Wanna join?”

We exchanged more dubious glances. Xylia already knew my answer. I knew hers, just not how she would react.

“No,” I said.

“I, uh… Tennis! I uh, I’m gonna be busy with the tennis team. When you’re done, could you, uh, take me to their booth?”

“Look after the booth, Yuna.” He deflated a bit, then immediately filled himself full of hot air. “Let us be off!” I half expected him to summon a horse and ride off into the sunset.

We continued walking.

“Hey, Leo! Let’s watch the Spielberg Society’s film!”

Xylia pointed to a converted classroom. The flyer read: “Six Nights At Teddy’s: Survive the Animatronic Horror.”

For some reason, that seemed plagiarized. But I couldn’t put my finger down on why. But if Leo agreed with me, he didn’t show it. Or, I couldn’t see it, in any case. I have that problem.

“Whaddya say?”

“I’ll pass.” Yeah, it sounded way too plagiarized for my taste.

“Suit yourself. Meet us here when it’s over.” Phone in hand, he waved me goodbye. Funny. I don’t recall ever giving him my number. I’ll have to scold Xylia for handing out my number to strangers later. Stranger danger, kids.

“Sure.”

They pushed the fake curtains aside and disappeared into the darkness of the makeshift classroom-theatre.

I bought an ice cream cone from some club I didn’t recognize and sat down in a corner. I’m usually averse to excess spending, but it was a dollar and I have a weakness for ice cream. The ice cream stuck in my memory more than the club.

I had a little more than half an hour to kill.

A part of me wanted to go back to the shooting gallery and win more teddy bears. I was certain I would win. But what would I even do with all those bears?

Sell them online. That’s a good idea. I’ll sell them online for extra money. I smiled at the thought.

My eyes wandered at the passerby scene, at the band kids parading about with their instruments, at the shifty members of the Cell Phone Club, at the sports teams waving around bats and sticks. Against my will, my gaze settled on a single figure clad in pale yellow.

The girl… the girl in yellow I’d met earlier this week was speaking to the captain of the lacrosse team. She was smiling, but even someone like me, who has spent the sixteen years of his life forcibly ignoring social cues, could pick up on the strained upturned corners of her lips.

I was going to stand up and leave, but then she caught sight of me. Her eyes lit up, and her finger pointed at me. The captain’s eyes tracked her as she scrambled over to me.

“H-hey.” She stole a glance at him.

“Ko… Ko… Kokona?”

She frowned. “Kokona?

“Is it Kokona or Kokonut? I can’t remember.”

She spend a moment staring in incredulity, as if unable to tell if I was joking. “I’m Ko-to-ne. Jeez…”

“Right. My bad.”

Ko-to-ne’s eyes darted back to the sports captain, who was now eyeing me intently. “Hey, Xavier, I need your help for something. Follow me.”

I don’t like you. I really don’t. But don’t worry, you’re not special in that regard, I dislike everyone. But it seemed like I had no choice in the matter. Such is life.

My feet pressed again the ground. “Lead the way.”

As we strode away from the sports area, the captain’s eyes never broke from our sight.

“So, is there anything you want to see? I’m in the Executive Committee, so I’ve got the layout memorized.”

“I thought you wanted my help for something.”

“Yeah, about that…” Ko-to-ne’s eyes averted. Her lips curled into a different, more sheepish kind of grin. “You are. Helping, that is.”

“I am?”

“I needed an excuse to get away from that guy, and well, here we are.”

“I see.”

The two of us walked with enough silence to balance out the school’s noise.

Finally, she broke it. “So, do you have any hobbies?”

What is this, an awkward first date? I shook my head.

“Any interests you could find a club for?”

I shook my head again.

Kotone stopped and placed her hands on her hips. “What do you even do with your time? Besides look after Xylia, I mean.”

I look for missing drunkard uncles. “I’m not obligated to tell you,” I said, with a shrug.

She planted a hand on her hip and frowned. “You’re not making my job any easier for me, you know.”

Her job? You know, the one where she was supposed to playtend my friend.

I suppose there’s no harm in helping someone’s job. But no further.

“Is this about the other day? Jeez, I’m sorry, okay?”

Of course you are. The next line is for me to accept said apology and move on with my life. Unfortunately for Shakespeare, she reminded me why I hadn’t wanted to in the first place.

“Now that you reminded me, I’m even less inclined to do anything. You’re just mad that I utterly annihilated you at your own game.”

Her face turned bright red. Oh, I’d said that out loud. “Fine then. Let’s go another round then,” she said, pointing to the other students. “Whose deductions are faster?”

“I object. You know these people. It won’t work.”

“I don’t know everything about them. And neither do you. Will that do?”

“Still tempted to say adieu.”

“Hey Xavier. The rhyme patrol called. You’re next on their to-kill list.”

“Finally. I love being number one. So, what do I get if I win?”

Ko-to-ne placed a finger on her chin. “I’ll buy you an ice cream. Mock Trial is selling.” Ah. So that was the name of the club.

“I just had one. Are you trying to turn me into an addict? What if I lose?”

“You,” she pointed an accusatory finger, “get toured around the school. After you make a generous donation to Mock Trial and treat me.”

Well. Depending on my ‘generosity,’ I might go over budget. A grin crawled over my face. I won’t lose. “Sounds good.”

“Try to keep up.” She stepped back and motioned at a boy in a tux, leaned against a wall. “Drumming of the fingers. Anxiousness. The performance is soon. He’s waiting for someone to bring his music to him.”

“He’s a violin player. Powder on the sleeves, probably resin. Unless it’s cocaine.”

“Do you always assume the worst in people?” Kotone rolled her eyes.

“But of course. It doesn’t pay to assume otherwise. Are you done? Shall I take this as the white flag?”

“You wish.” Her attention shifted. “That’s a member of the drama club. His costume is itchy, but he can’t do anything about it because it would break character. He looks uncomfortable with no immediate cause around.”

“That costume was a rush job. Mass produced by hand. Look at the seams. Even, as if done hundreds of times before, but loose. No attention to detail. Are we done yet?”

“I’m just warming up.” She flipped her ponytail. “That girl’s supposed to demonstrate for the cooking club, but she’s too busy with exposition, so that guy’s taking over. He’s looking around for tools; he’s not used to her setup.”

“Wrong. She traded with that boy. Look, her finger’s cut. Probably during a previous demo.”

“Going on the offense, are we?”

I ignored her. “That boy has been looking everywhere for something. Knees and palms are dirty.”

“Panicked expression. Science Olympiad member. Probably lost his notes.”

“That girl is waiting for something from someone. Repeatedly checking her phone. Flyers. She’s holding an empty tray that probably shouldn’t be empty.”

She picked up on my thread. “Guilty look on her face. She thinks it’s her fault they don’t have enough. Look over there. Red Cross was going to give out cupcakes, but messed up the paperwork, so they’ve got balloons instead. You can tell from the looks on everyone’s faces. The Rainbow Association puts up the front of a club, but is actually a front for the school’s marijuana addicts.”

“Maybe you should join.”

She shot me a glare. “Marijuana, not vanilla ice cream.”

“So you admit you’re a vanilla ice cream addict.”

“Is this your resignation? You’re two behind.”

“As if. That basketball player is faking a limp. The leg he puts pressure on changes every so often. Over there. Unlike the other painters, that one doesn’t have paint on her fingers. She can’t paint, or isn’t taking it very seriously. The tennis club isn’t using their normal equipment. They keep rubbing the palms of their hands. Not used to the old, shabby grips.” Old shabby grips, unlike the one on Xylia’s racket. She was always proud of that thing. To be honest, I was, too.

Kotone nodded. “Sharp as always.”

“I’ll be claiming my ice cream now,” I said.

“You didn’t win.”

“Of course I did. The moment you cheated and brought up the Rainbow Club. There’s no way you can tell that they’re a front just by looking at them like that. That defeats the entire purpose of being a front.”

She pouted. “You’re sharper than you look.”

“Are you saying I look like an idiot?”

“Yes.”

Not helping your case, lady. “Besides, how did you know about that club anyways? What, are you a drug addict too? First it was vanilla ice cream. Then it was weed.”

“Stop trying to make me out to be some druggie!”

“Buy me ice cream and we’ll talk!”

“Fine. But I got what I wanted.” Her expression morphed into a grin.

“Huh?”

“Hey, so now that you’ve figured stuff out about all the clubs, is there any one that interests you?”

It was only then that I took a good look at where I was standing, then back at the path I’d unknowingly taken. Down the hall. Into the next building. Up the stairs. Why do I feel like I’ve lost? Maybe it’s because I did. At least I’m getting an ice cream. “Buy me ice cream and I’ll talk.”

“Who’s the ice cream addict now?”

“I dunno. Who’s the weed addict? Or did you get into the Rainbow Club on coc-”

She hit me. “Stop that, you idiot, or I won’t buy you ice cream. And I’ll get one. And eat it in front of you. While laughing.”

That actually sounds kind of uncomfortable. Not to mention difficult to pull off without choking. “You are a terrible person.”

“Pot, meet kettle. Become good friends.” Kotone raised an eyebrow. “Oh wait. Kettle is an antisocial loser.”

“Birds of a feather fly together, they say.” Aren’t you supposed to be guiding me around the school? The whole, new friend to the new students deal?

“To answer your creepy mumbles, yes,” she said, approaching the mock trial booth and pulling out her wallet. “But you annoyed me by accusing me of being a drug dealer. One ice cream, please.”

“Justice… is served!” The girl in a suit handed Kotone a waffle cone and a flyer. With her free hand, Kotone rolled the flyer and shoved it in my face, all while making a big show of eating the ice cream.

“Justice is served, indeed. Vengeance is a dish best served delicious. And soft-serve.”

“You are a terrible person.”

A cheeky smile from her. “I know.”

It was at this time that we were spotted, by the only other acquaintance that I have at this school, albeit not by choice. “The two wayward souls have been spotted! Seriously, didn’t I tell you to wait outside the theatre when it ended?”

Xylia and Leo caught up to us. The two of them were decked, head to toe with various crafts from various clubs. A little part of my mind examined Xylia and hoped that it was all free.

“Don’t worry. Most of it was,” she answered.

The four of us sat down at a nearby bench. It was past 9, now. Only an hour and a half left.

“Hey, let’s go watch the Orchestra!”

At this mention, Kotone sat up. “Oh! I totally forgot! I have to perform!” As she got up, Xylia followed her.

“You guys aren’t coming?” she asked.

Leo shook his head. “Nah. You guys have fun.”

Don’t assume that I dislike fun. Because I don’t. I just happen to have a radically different idea as to what fun is.

A short while after they turned the corner, Leo got up. “Hey, let’s just wander around a bit.”

Wandering with no destination in mind. Sure, why not. I was tired, but in a slightly better mood now that Ice Cream Girl was gone.

I followed Leo down a hallway. He chattered about some of the other clubs on campus but it was about that time when I had become so exhausted that I could no longer hear, much less listen.

Social interaction is draining.

I felt a little dizzy. I motioned him to stop and leaned against a wall.

My eyes closed. The noise silenced.

When I opened my eyes, Leo stood, his back also pressed against the wall.

“So it was you.”

#simulacrumnovel

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