#but like... it's especially a thing w romance imo even from romance readers
Note
People are ridiculously entitled and it’s genuinely so disheartening. Books are someone’s ART. You don’t just get to alter a name in someone else’s creative work. (I’m appalled people out there think this is remotely acceptable - writers are not court jesters nor do they exist to please everyone - no human being nor their creative work does, in fact!) Thanks for putting your various responses out there! Here’s hoping people learn to respect and appreciate artists and creators once again
Quoth Nora Roberts:
I am not here to be a slave to certain reader’s wants, needs, whims. Again, I write what I write, and these are MY characters, in my books. Not yours. They are yours to enjoy or not, but they belong to me, they come from me...
You don’t have to agree, but I’m not writing for your particular point of view. Again, I’ve explained my reasons for this. I won’t do so again. My characters, my books, my decision. If you want something else, read something else.
And yes, I said that, too. Blast away, it changes nothing. I am not obliged to meet an individual’s demands.
So.
First off:
If you're really super chill about the idea of being able to change what writers write just because you didn't like a detail you think is small and irrelevant, I would sincerely encourage you to read La Nora's full thoughts on similar issues... and yeah, I'm gonna equate something as "small" as a name with what Nora's talking about here. Because it is ALL the author's domain. I've never personally subscribed to the idea that a work "isn't yours anymore" once it's out in the world. The way people interpret and interact with it isn't yours, sure. But it's still your creation, and you should be the only person with control over the content.
... and sometimes, I, as a reader, don't like what authors do with their content. I get it. I don't like that Lisa Kleypas edited her work years after publishing it, because I'm big on the "own what you wrote originally even if it's uncomfy" train... (for the most part--editing the fetishization of Cam and Kev would've made sense to me). And I don't think there's anything wrong with readers pointing out problematic shit in a writer's work, offering critique in an open forum, as Smart Bitches, Trashy books did when reading Hello, Stranger, which I speculate may have prompted some of Lisa's edits.
But! I can't say that it would ever be my right as a reader to, say, use future technology to tell my reading device "edit out the times Cam says shit that reads super fetishized". It's just kind of repellent to me to imagine rewriting someone's work in any way without their permission. Fuck, I don't even like the idea of estates releasing sequels or revised versions of books unless the author indicated that such was in their wishes in their will. (See: the TWO official Gone with the Wind sequels/prequels/whatever authorized by Margaret Mitchell's estate.)
We, as readers, have our lanes. The writers have theirs. And sometimes, as writers, they do tiny things or BIG things in their lanes that we dislike. (I love Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners series, for the most part. I really, REALLY hate the most recent book in the series. HATE. IT. But the only thing I can do about that shit is just pretend that book never happened, which I actually can fairly efficiently because I do in fact control what my brain does. Or, seek out books that give me what that series didn't with that most recent book. Sierra Simone's do a bangin' job.) But you know... Not only do I not think it is safe for me to merge into their lane... I don't want writers to feel like they have to submit to demand and give away pieces of their work in order to keep selling.
(And honestly? For the vast majority, I don't think it would make enough of a difference anyway--writers are often sold bills of goods with new strategies or tech. "This will change the way you sell books". Most writers won't ever be able to write full time anyway, and I find the way that this fantasy that you'll be able to do otherwise with THIS TECH optimizing your writing time, or THIS SUBSCRIPTION increasing the eyeballs that will see your book... Scammy. Not all of it's bad! But the selling strategy that you'll make more money... If you're selling on KU, if five extra people buy your book you're still making pennies, so it's gotta be more than one thing that converges to create the sale, and a lot of that, I gotta say, is word of mouth and people just LIKING YOUR SHIT. And I'd argue that they're more likely to like your shit if you're invested as a writer.)
Second:
No need to thank me! I honestly think that the majority of readers do appreciate what writers do (or don't feel either way about it and just read like people have always read lol) but I don't know. I can't really tell what it is--the sort of "fandom" that's been created around books (and like, author fan clubs and such have always existed, but obviously the accessibility is so different), new tech developing very rapidly when for centuries books were relatively stagnant technologically speaking, the fanficification of EVERY type of media it feels like... But the sense of entitlement that certain readers feel does seem to have grown. Or maybe it's simply become more visible. I mean, Nora Roberts has from the dawn of her writing career taken off had fans that can communicate with her, and I'm sure many have written letters like "Go give these characters a baby :(".
My biggest thing is always going to be this: some books ain't gonna be for you. There are books that sound so Caroline. I read them, and for whatever reason--writing style, one character choice, something ephemeral I can't name--they aren't. Everyone else loves these books. I'd love to love these books. I'd love to discuss these books. I'm not in the party. And that's FINE. Not every party is going to be a party I'm down for! One of my best friends loooooves Tessa Bailey and Tessa-like contemporaries. Tessa, by and large, doesn't work for me. So my friend and I can't discuss a lot of books in depth. Do I wish historicals worked for her so that I could nerd out with her? Sure! But I can't make something that doesn't work for her work for her, and I can't make Tessa's books work for me.
And I know that people will be like "it's just a name bitch", but... it's a slippery slope to me, just like ALL of AI and AI-related tech has been a slippery slope. Like, y'all said AI wasn't gonna be a big deal and would just make things easier, and people are now selling AI-written books under their names. Everyone said that authors would have control over how AI interacted with their books, and books are being scraped for AI on the daily.
I do not want anyone to have final control over what is and isn't in a book but the person who wrote the book. I do not want writers to feel like they need to cede any amount of control over the copy in that book over to readers in order to succeed.
And I honestly think it would be a lot healthier for everyone involved if we as readers (viewers, general audiences) just accepted that we don't get everything we want, and creatives are not here to dance to our tune. They are people, and they want to tell the stories they want to tell. Your power? Is in your dollar. If you don't like that shit, don't buy it. If you don't want to support it... don't! Fuck, if you want to talk shit on the internet about how the most recent book in the series was absolutely not for you, that's your right, too.
I don't want you fucking with a single word on the page, though. Feel free to go write your own shit--prosper! But that part of what Nora said that rings true to me most is "they come from me". These books come from writers. You have them because of those writers. So, I don't know, dude. Just take what's there, and if you dislike it, spit it out and move on to the thing you will like. Authors aren't churn factories to produce what you want, and ROMANCE as a genre, however commercial it is and however much it does have that One Rule that defines it as a genre... Is still something that writers should be allowed to experiment with. That's the work writers put in. The work readers put in? Finding shit that works for us. And I'm telling you... With a little practice, it ain't hard. How do y'all think I have all these books to recommend? Lmao
#romance novel blogging#and look until i publish a book i consider myself a reader first a writer second#i get it! i love readers! i am a reader! i think the majority of readers are totally respectful of the process#or again just don't care and read a book and move on lmao#don't even have a goodreads account#(which is FINE)#but the entitlement squicks me out both as a reader and as a (for now largely for fun) writer#it's like people put zero consideration into the effort and thought it takes#it's work! and your money is your money and you can decide whether or not you want to support that work#but like... it's especially a thing w romance imo even from romance readers#where this seems to be this idea that there isn't effort and thought put into the books. and it's p demeaning tbh#and you know i'd say the same shit if we were talking fic#and i don't think that any of what i'm saying suggests that you can't make fic btw--creating a fanwork and altering the original#v different things and they come with different intentions imo... and i respect the effort that comes w fic too#ANYWAY! i said i wouldn't say anymore but the casual nature of just changing shit really bugs me#and i needed to get these thoughts out of my head bc i kept thinking about it lol#and everyone can HATE ME
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golden
pairing: god!hoshi x fem!mortal!reader
genre: romance, fluff, angst. gods au.
word count: 13.2k~
warnings: character death. resurrection. mentions of fire, food, rain, and alcohol all within the fic. mentions of sex, unwritten (reader and soonyoung are pretty much stated to have sex, but there is 0 depictions of it past kissing and slightly talking about it). mentions of other death in the background of the fic.
daisy's notes: this was originally going to be a mark fic ngl and i still have the scraps of that first attempt.
[note: no taglist on this fic due to me being unsure of who is okay and not okay w sexual content of any kind!! imo its super tame + not explicit at all, but i don't wanna tag someone that doesn't want that, y'kno?]
Soonyoung rarely ventured down to the mortal realm as often as the others did.
This wasn’t due to a disdain for humans; truthfully, Soonyoung was fond of them in plenty of ways. He found them interesting to watch from a distance, never getting too attached to any of them with their tiny lifespan. Truthfully, he always made the excuse that he was busy. Who would raise and set the sun every day if not for him? It was an excuse, to be fair: the sun was set on its path without him needing to be there to do the work himself. He merely kept to himself more often than the others thought. He wasn’t like Seungcheol, who ventured down in times of war and passed through soldiers who couldn’t see him, revitalizing them as he watched destruction rain down; or Jeonghan, who would always be there to retrieve Seungcheol when the fighting finally came to an end, a reminder that being the God of War did not ruin Seungcheol as a person. He wasn’t like Jun, who silently accepted offerings made to him every year and blessed the harvests (and weddings—the fun part of presiding over multiple domains, as they all did), or Chan, who loved to feel the change of the seasons himself. Soonyoung simply knew the truth: he couldn’t, and shouldn’t, get attached. He had seen what happened to people who got attached.
Yet he always made an exception when his festival came around. He liked to come down and take part in celebrations, finding that they revitalize him in a way like no other. They were always extravagant affairs, larger than life itself with music and dancing that he could spend all night doing. He liked to sample human food, too–especially if he was able to drag Seokmin along, too. The two could ditch their duties for a few hours, the systems in place allowing that slight leave, and sample the sweet wines blessed by Minghao himself. Maybe it blew up Soonyoung’s ego a bit to see how beloved he was by so many, but he enjoyed the fun of it all more than anything else. None of them knew his name, to be fair: they knew the God of the Sun, the God of Dance, or Hoshi if anything. Never Soonyoung.
He’d sampled a sun-shaped chocolate as he weaved through the crowds, always leaving people with a bashful thanks before he moved on. Soonyoung would have his today, and return home with Seokmin later. That was the way things were meant to be. Maybe he’d sneak a bottle of wine back with him, even if it’d earn an eye-roll from Minghao who would tell him all he needed to do was ask for a bottle if he wanted it so badly. It wasn’t the wine, though: it was the experience. A new bottle he can keep along his collection to remember this by.
Except Soonyoung saw you. He had lost track of Seokmin in the crowd, and ventured toward the town square, where he saw you among the crowd. You’d been dancing with your friends, arms thrown out and flowing garments twisting around you as you laughed with carefree abandon. He’d later learn that you had been drinking that day, enjoying the freedom from work and life and everything heavy. Soonyoung was supposed to meet Seokmin. He was supposed to go find him, and then go home. Yet the moment he went to pass you, you had lost your footing, stumbling into him. Your hands were pressed against his chest as he supported you, staring down at your half-hunched over position, peering up at him through your eyelashes.
“... Hi?” You had breathed out, no sense of embarrassment yet.
Soonyoung had heard stories of gods who fell in love with mortals. It happened to Jihoon, and he remembered how that story ended. He hadn’t understood it, though. How could someone like them fall so easily for someone who’s life was so miniscule? That was an introduction to pain, letting in the opportunity for tragedy to strike. And yet there you were, staring up at him in a way that made his heart stir in his chest like no other. He’d stared at you with parted lips, wide-eyed and feeling the heat rushing to his face as he realized how awkward the two of you must be. There’s an apology on his lips, right where he wished yours would be, only for it to die in his throat as you laughed and straightened up.
“Do you want to dance?” Your hands had found his.
And Soonyoung said yes, forgetting all about the friend he’d been searching for. You’d guided him back with you, and time melted into something entirely new as Soonyoung danced with you. It wasn’t until Seokmin found him later, all but having to drag Soonyoung from the gentle sway your dance had devolved into. He’d forgotten about life and his responsibilities and everything that was supposed to be important: you had called him handsome.
“Pretty, too,” you had said to him a second later, before giggling. Soonyoung felt like that must be the alcohol in your system making you so giggly. “Like sunlight.”
Oh, if only you knew.
That was why Soonyoung returned the next day, despite everything being over. He found you again, and introduced himself to you with a lie that he was new in town. You’d laughed again, and he felt as though he might fall in love with the sound.
“I know,” you said, picking up a trampled flower from the ground, setting it into your basket. “It’s a small town. I assumed you were someone stopping in for the festival.”
Soonyoung crouched down next to you, wordlessly helping you with your work. “It was really pretty.”
“It always is,” you picked up another flower, and then your eyes met his. “My friends haven’t stopped teasing me, though.”
“Why?”
“You’re cute,” you smiled, and he felt his heart fluttering in his chest all over again. “And of course it’d be someone not from around here that caught my attention.”
Soonyoung furrowed his brow. “You don’t like anyone here?”
“Not really,” you shrugged, fingers brushing against his as you reached for the same flower. “I guess… I never saw someone that felt worth knowing. You feel different.”
Soonyoung had heard about this from Hansol once before. He’d asked once before what drew people together like that, and Hansol had merely shrugged and said some people just… stood out among the crowd sometimes. That had been why Soonyoung only ever went down during festivals. Between the food and the music and the wine, there was enough to distract from Soonyoung, even if it earned him the occasional look as someone felt… something about him drawing their attention.
“So, stranger,” you stood up. “You got a name? Where are you from? Are you just passing through, or…?”
Soonyoung said his name, gauging your reaction for a second before he continued on, “I’m from the city,” he lied casually enough. “And… I might be.”
“You might be?” You teased. “You looking for a reason to stay?”
“I might be,” he smiled.
It earned another warm laugh from you, so short and fleeting. “Well, Soonyoung, if you’re not busy… Maybe I could show you around. Give you a reason.”
As much as he knew he shouldn’t… Soonyoung thought that he’d already found it. So he let you take him by the hand, so warm underneath his touch, and guide him around the town. It felt like every corner the two of you turned, you had a story. You had lived here all your life, and it showed in your stories. Was love at first sight a thing? Hansol said it wasn’t, that it was merely attraction that either blossomed into love or it didn’t. Yet Soonyoung felt as though his soul knew yours. How suddenly a single person could make him wish he were a mortal that could live alongside you and one day die next to you.
“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” Jihoon said to him one day. He’d entered his godly domain without even asking (although Jihoon never had to ask), finding him taking a nap. He stared down at him. “I mean it. You can’t fall in love with a mortal.”
“I’m not in love with a mortal,” he said. “She’s…”
“Soonyoung.” Jihoon’s voice was like ice as he stared at him. “I lived this. I won’t stand here and watch it happen to you, too.”
“How did you even find out?”
Jihoon crossed his arms. “Hansol. Who else would know?”
He had a point. If anyone had their finger to the pulse of love… It’d be the God of Love himself. Hansol had wrinkled his nose when Soonyoung passed by him earlier, although Soonyoung had merely assumed that it was the scent of mortals and his sweat that disgusted him. Soonyoung sat up, grass crunching underneath him as he looked at Jihoon, backlit by the moon above. He stared down at him, hands curling into fists.
“You don’t want to hurt like I did,” he said in a lower voice. “One day they’re here, and the next…” He reached a hand around the crystal that hung around his neck. “You’ll never see them again.”
Soonyoung didn’t know what to say. Either he defied his friend, his brother, or he let go of you before he’d even grown to know you.
So he went to Joshua instead.
Joshua had been lounging in his own little home, spread out on the pearly white chaise as he looked down upon the pool of water in the middle of his room. Sometimes, Soonyoung wondered what he was watching so intensely. Life? Or his own reflection? All Soonyoung ever saw was his own face when he peered in, but maybe he wasn’t looking at it right. Joshua looked up, and smiled that pretty smile that Soonyoung had seen carved into marble plenty of times. It was enough to make any man proud, and any god insufferable at times.
“Soonyoung.” Joshua’s voice was like honey. No wonder mortals dedicated sonnets to it. “I see you’ve finally come around.”
“How long do mortals live?”
He laughed. “Straight to the point. I see. And so soon, too… Then again, you aren’t like Jihoon. It took Jihoon forever to realize his own feelings…” He let out a sigh. “It’s hard to say.”
Soonyoung stared at him. He understood, slightly: Joshua always said that human life changed with the advancing of medicine. No wonder he resided over both domains, watching over them with a careful eye. “Then how long does she have?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
Soonyoung watched as Joshua stood up, making his way over to a cabinet on the far side of his room, flowing garments dragging along the floor. He followed close behind, lagging only far enough behind that he didn’t step on the fabric. “Why not?!”
“Because you’re a god, Soonyoung,” Joshua didn’t turn to face him. He opened the cabinet, shimmering liquid sitting inside. He hummed to himself, looking through them. “You can’t change a mortal’s lifespan. It goes against our rules.”
“And who made those?” Soonyoung asked. “You watched Jihoon’s love die. You couldn’t make an exception?”
“It was their time.” Joshua pulled a blue vial that reminded Soonyoung of a clear sky, and he held it up to the light. “I couldn’t do anything for them. They were in Seokmin’s hands.”
Then maybe he should be talking to Seokmin. Joshua said nothing as he held out the vial, looking through the cabinet further.
“Hold onto this for me, please.”
Soonyoung moved forward, accepting it. He’d never understood things like this—but, thankfully, he didn’t have to. It wasn’t like mortal medicine, which made his head spin. Magic through potion making… That was far outside of his realm. Magic just happened when Soonyoung danced. Light sparked up, the sun was a little warmer on days it was supposed to be cold, the sun stayed out a little longer to help a person find their way home… It manifested through the physical movements he made. It was the same with Minghao, with Junhui, with Chan. He’d seen the dances that Chan choreographed to bring about the seasons, turning it into a performance art. The way Minghao blessed art and wine and those who created both with his own special flourish. And the way Junhui’s movements brought about the harvest as he moved. Joshua, however, always had this song underneath his breath that he seemed to mumble as he pulled vial after vial. Rich purple and sunshine yellow and deep, deep blue that was almost black until the light hit it just right.
Joshua walked away, plucking the blue sky vial from Soonyoung’s hands with a simple “thank you,” as he passed by him. Soonyoung could only continue to follow him.
“So…”
“So.” Joshua had walked away to a set of glasses, set up not far from the cabinet. When Soonyoung asked why it wasn’t closer before, Joshua had merely said something about avoiding cross-contamination. “I can’t help you with her. She’s a mortal.” One drop of sky blue. Two of the sunshine yellow.
“You can’t make an exception?”
One of purple… and then another. “Nope.”
“I’m not going to stop.”
One of deep, dark blue. “I didn’t think you would.”
“I mean it.” Soonyoung crossed his arms. “I want to know her. You’d understand if you saw her.”
“I’m sure I would.” Joshua simply pulled out one of the thin, long rods he used to mix these vials. Despite the colors that went into it, it turned into a shimmering, golden liquid after he added a pinch of some dust that Soonyoung knew nothing about. “I’m sure we all would.”
Was he not budging? Soonyoung didn’t plan this far. He thought if he made it completely clear that he was going to pursue you, whether it got him hurt or not, that Joshua would give something up. Joshua was one of the ones who was most hurt by seeing Jihoon mourn… Maybe it was wrong to try and use that against him, but Soonyoung knew that if he didn’t try to pursue you, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Didn’t Joshua understand that? Hadn’t he followed people’s lives out of sheer curiosity of where they ended up? He treated it as gossip with Jeonghan sometimes, Soonyoung heard it.
“Soonyoung?” Joshua asked, pushing a cork into the vial. He tied a cord around it, securing it fully. “Don’t drink this.”
Soonyoung said nothing as Joshua tied the vial around his neck, looking down at where it fell between his collarbones. “I won’t?”
“Good.” Joshua gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Don’t you have a mortal to be wooing?”
Soonyoung met Joshua’s gaze, and saw the smile he’d given him. “You aren’t going to stop me?”
“Nope.” He walked away. “You’re interrupting me anyway. Mortal lives are messy—These two siblings are fighting over their father’s fortune even though it’ll go to the youngest in secret. They just haven’t realized it yet.”
Soonyoung didn’t see the appeal.
Soonyoung saw you again mere days later.
You’d been in the market when he finally found you, bargaining for fresh fruit with the woman behind the stall. She laughed at you after a moment, and, judging by the smile on your face, you’d managed to convince her to throw in a little extra. Yet when you turned and saw him, that smile fell for barely a second before coming back, brighter than before. You made your way over to him, careful of your bag as you threw your arms around him. He felt the warmth of your body as it pressed against his, and suddenly the sun didn’t feel so warm anymore.
“Soonyoung!” You drew back, still beaming at him. “I thought you’d left.”
His hands fell to rest on your hips. “I said I’d be back. I just… had to handle some things.”
Your gaze had fallen to the vial around his neck. “What’s this?”
“From a friend,” he said, a hand clasping around it protectively. It felt cold underneath his fingers.
“Someone I need to worry about?”
He chuckled. “Nope.” He couldn’t compare to you anyhow. “Are you busy?”
“Not anymore.” You shifted your bag. “I just need to take this home and then I’m all yours. Do you want to walk with me?”
He was glad to go anywhere with you. You slipped your hand into his, palm pressed against his own, and started to guide him down the street. Casual as could be, you started to fill him in on everything that you’d heard over the past few days. The feud between two nobles in the richer part of the town—two brothers who’d always been stuck up. Their father was on their deathbed now, and his third born, his daughter, had been devoted to caring for him. Whether it be to nurse him back to health, or to make sure his passing was as peaceful as it could go, no one could be sure. You admitted your hopes that the fortune would go to her: she was always kind to you and everyone else she met, from what you could tell. Aside from that… One of your neighbors was sure her baby would be coming any day now. Something about it feeling right. You’d be bringing soup to her later tonight to help give her a little extra strength for the coming days. There’d been men passing through town—not like Soonyoung, but gruffer. Rough around the edges. They had yet to do anything, but plenty of people were on edge because of it.
“It feels like I’ve missed a lot.”
“Well… You wouldn’t if you stayed.” You squeezed his hand a little. “I know it’s a big decision… But I’d be happy to see you around more often.”
Soonyoung found himself smiling a little. Such little time together, and he thought you might be feeling something for him, too. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good. My friends want to meet you sometime. Meet the cutie I have my eye on.” You rolled your eyes a little. “Seriously… They act like I’m a recluse.”
Soonyoung ran his thumb along the back of your hand. “If you want me to meet them…”
“Maybe later,” you said. “Gotta be sure I’m right about you first.”
He blinked. “Right…? About what?”
“That you’re… right.” You’d grown flustered. “That this wasn’t just me being drunk and seeing a cute stranger and—and being curious, I guess.”
You’d let go of his hand for a moment, and he swore he ached to feel it again. You pushed open the gate to your home, small enough that Soonyoung could probably leap over it if he tried. He waited for a moment, watching as you stopped and turned to face him. With a nod of your head, he followed after you quickly. You unlocked your door, pushing it open and letting him in before you secured it back in place.
Although your home was small, it was cozy. He watched as you drew back the curtains at your windows, where he could see a green yard behind it, plants growing. Some flowers—although those looked more to be wildflowers that you’d begun to tend to. Vegetables, mainly. Maybe that was why you were mainly buying fruit in the city. He watched as you draped your shawl over a chair, taking your bag to sort things out and put them into the hanging baskets above your kitchen space. Apples, pears, a bowl of berries… You had a place for most things. Soonyoung busied himself with looking around further. You had a little sitting area near your front door with an old, slightly frumpy couch that still looked comfortable to curl up in. A chair that sat closer to the currently extinguished fireplace, where he realized you could comfortably cook if you chose to do so. There was dwindling firewood in a pile nearby, already chopped. Was that your doing? Or someone else in the town? Soonyoung wanted to know. You had said that he was the only person who caught your eye, but…
He pushed the thought aside. He didn’t think you’d lead him on if there were other people—plus you had said your friends were teasing you. He’d trust you for now. Soonyoung ran a hand over the back of your couch, a thick quilt draped over it.
“That was my mother’s,” you said. “She made it with my grandmother when she was expecting me. She’d always drape it over herself whenever she was caring for me.” You set your bag aside. “She gave it to me when I moved out after she’d added more to it.”
He traced his fingers over a square that had a flower sewn into it. “That’s sweet.”
“I think she wants me to pass it down to my child one day,” you said. “Add my own squares. She taught me once, actually. I think I will.”
His face grew hotter, and he stepped away, distracting himself with a little carved animal that was sitting on your counter. “Did you make this?”
You’d giggled, and made your way over. “Mhm. It’s not very good, but… My grandmother had books of animals. It’s a tiger.” You held it up. “I’ve never actually seen one, but they say the God of the Sun’s accompanied by a tiger wherever he goes.” For a moment, you looked between him and the little wooden tiger. You reached for his hand a moment later, pressing it into his palm and curling his fingers around. “Why don’t you keep it?”
“Huh?” He looked down at it. “But it’s yours.”
“And now it’s yours.” You smiled at him. “You can look at it and think of me.”
He would. He’d keep it with him forever now. Soonyoung turned his attention to the window again. “You grow things?”
“Most people do.” You made your way to the back door, unlatching it and pulling it open. Soonyoung followed you out and watched as you admired your tomatoes. “I’m not great at it, but I’ve managed to keep a few things alive so far.”
The cucumbers you were growing seemed to be doing fine, as were the green beans that stretched up their poles. He saw the way the cucumber plants were crawling up your fence a bit, giving them a structure to grow against and protection from the elements. You had a separate section out for carrots that were struggling a bit more, but faring way better than the tomatoes you’d been trying to grow. Your lettuce, however, was definitely thriving way more than the rest of your garden.
“It’s not a lot,” you said, looking at the peas you’d been growing. “But it helps. I sell lettuce down at the market and it usually fetches pretty well…”
“You said you were making soup?”
Suddenly, you snapped back to face him. “Oh my god, the soup!” You rushed back inside, digging through a low cabinet for a heavy-looking pot. “I’m yours,” you said as you turned back to him, “as long as we talk here.”
He chuckled. “I’m okay with that.”
You rested a hand on his chest. “Tomorrow,” you said, “we can go out. I’m sorry I forgot about it earlier.”
Something about you was so endearing. You’d pulled out a cutting board and a sharpened knife before turning to Soonyoung. When you asked if he knew how to cook, he said he wasn’t very good at it. With a roll of your eyes, you said you’d teach him later. All he needed to do was slice ingredients while you fetched water for this soup. If he wanted to, he could start the fire for you once you’d set everything up, and you’d take over with the harder parts of it all. The good thing about this soup, you told him, was that it could be easy to throw together. So the two of you got to work: Soonyoung with carefully slicing carrots for you, and you with setting up… well, everything else. He listened to the way you hummed to yourself as you worked, and he wished he could know the songs in your heart. If he asked Jihoon, he’d turn him away.
How was he supposed to face Jihoon from now on…? Hansol wouldn’t hide Soonyoung’s feelings for you as they began to blossom more and more with each passing second.
“Oh… Soonyoung.” You’d come back to him while he was trying to slice potatoes, moving slow as he worked. “Here,” you reached out, hands over his own to guide them. “It’s easier if you do it like this…”
Mingyu would adore you, at least. Despite not having a need to eat, Mingyu enjoyed cooking for the fun of it. Seokmin joined him sometimes, too. At least Soonyoung got to eat the delicious things they made. A second later, Soonyoung realized that you were bullshitting him: he was maybe slow in order to watch his fingers, but you were doing the exact same thing he was doing.
“You just want to—”
“Be close to you?” You smiled. “I do.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have to make up a reason,” he said, gently nudging your hands away. “You can be close to me if you want.”
You let out a happy hum as you looked at him, leaning in just close enough to kiss him if he were lucky. “Good to know.” And then you pulled away just as he leaned in to kiss you, giggling as you went.
What has he gotten himself into?
Junhui’s domain was just as vibrant and full of life as one would expect from the God of the Harvest. The number of plants growing would make Soonyoung’s head spin if he tried to count them all, and, since he wasn’t much of a cook anyway, he merely left it at ones he could easily recognize. Most days, Junhui could be found in the center of it all, resting underneath a pavilion decorated with sheer white curtains trimmed with matching lace. The red of his flowing garb stood out against it all, and Soonyoung often saw the way the fabric flowed as Junhui danced for himself and only himself. His eyes were shut as he let his body move as he pleased, content to let inspiration take hold as it desired. There was a bottle of wine set atop a nearby table—a sign that Minghao had been here recently, since Jun always kept his bottles elsewhere for safe keeping. He had to wonder what the two had talked about.
“Is this about her?”
Jun had slowed to a stop, opening his eyes as he looked to where Soonyoung lingered among the trees. He had gotten it in one, and the knowing smile on his face said it. He gestured for Soonyoung to come forward and join him as he settled into a cushioned chair off to one side, right next to that bottle of wine.
Soonyoung settled into the other, and watched as his friend poured him a glass. “I have a favor to ask.”
“It’s her garden, isn’t it?” Jun hummed to himself, eyes twinkling a little. “Are you sure you want to get so close to a mortal?”
Soonyoung nodded. “Yes.”
“You were there for Jihoon,” he said, voice softer this time. “You had to be the one to calm him down before the tides were thrown out of balance.”
But I’ll be fine, Soonyoung wanted to say. He wouldn’t scorch the earth. He’d control himself. “Will you help her?”
Jun hummed to himself for a moment. “Perhaps.”
“That isn’t a yes—”
“What’s in your pocket?”
Soonyoung pulled out the little tiger figurine. Immediately, Jun began to coo over it, reaching out to get a closer look. He drew his hand back, unsure of whether he wanted to trust anyone with it… But he relented after a moment, letting Jun take it and hold it up to the light. He traced over the tiger stripes, smiling to himself all the while, so truly endeared by this little wooden tiger that you had made. It wasn’t perfect, and it looked much more like an average cat, but you had definitely tried when carving it.
“How cute,” he giggled. “No wonder you like her so much. Can she make a cat?”
Soonyoung furrowed his brow. “What?”
“I’ll do it if she makes me a cat later. Say it’s for a friend.”
“I’m not—”
“Please?” Jun had smiled at him, pressing the tiger back into his hand. “I’ll bless her garden extra strong if you can bring me one that’s a cat.”
Soonyoung sighed. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll ask her to make you a cat. I’ll say it’s a present. Will you bless her garden tonight, please? I’m going to see her first thing because I want to see her face when she notices it improving.”
Jun had given his promise. Soonyoung downed his wine before hugging him tight, and left Jun’s domain quickly. He’d passed by Seungkwan, who’d been deep in conversation with Hansol and Seungcheol when he saw him. With a wave, he continued on, only to see Hansol wrinkle his nose again when he glanced back one final time. It must be from the love. Which was strange: Hansol had always said love was sweet. Why wrinkle his nose…? Soonyoung let the thought go before he could dwell too much on it. He didn’t need to doubt his feelings for you at all. Mortals lived shorter lives, which meant that Soonyoung needed to treasure his time with you while he had it. Which meant he needed to go rest before he went down to the mortal realm—
“Soonyoung.”
Wonwoo stood at the entry to his domain, having been waiting for him. He adjusted the collar of his shirt, tucked tight against his neck, and watched him from behind those wide spectacles. Wonwoo said nothing as he drew his hood back from over his head, a thick book held in his other arm as he awaited for Soonyoung to come closer. For the God of Time, he always looked as though he’d switch domains with Jihoon or Seokmin at any moment; dark fabrics flowing off of him and shining a little within the light. Yet behind that stoic exterior, Soonyoung knew that he was warm (even if he wasn’t so now). He knew a lot of things beyond the knowledge he presided over. He knew the past, the present, and the future…
Which must be why he was here now. “Yes?”
He nodded toward the entry to his own domain. “Come with me.”
The moment Wonwoo turned his back, Soonyoung hung his head and held back the urge to groan with annoyance. He needed to see you tomorrow, which meant he needed to rest because going down to the mortal realm wasn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world—especially when he had to work extra hard to repress the godly aura that had attracted you to him in the first place. He needed you to like him for him (and, so far, you seemed to). Yet he followed after Wonwoo, passing through the shimmering doorway and into the endless library in which Wonwoo often resided. The quiet ticking of a clock that Soonyoung never saw seemed to echo about, and he stepped onto the clock face (not the source of the ticking: Soonyoung had checked) that was embedded into the floor. The seconds ticked by, one by one, and Soonyoung watched as Wonwoo began to search for another book. He climbed a ladder, a fox made of translucent, pale blue magic leaping up beside him. It shut its eyes and glowed a little brighter, and Soonyoung watched Wonwoo pet its head with a quiet thanks.
“What do you want?” He called out.
“Hold on.” He pulled down another one, thick and just as heavy as the one he’d been carrying. He descended that ladder, and came to the desk in the middle of the room. “You need to stop seeing this human.”
Soonyoung stared at him, dumbfounded. “What?”
“Joshua should have told you to stop, but he didn’t. So I will,” Wonwoo began to flip through pages. “She doesn’t have much time. She’ll have less if you continue to interfere.”
You’d live less…? “You don’t know that—”
“It’s written.” Wonwoo slid the book across the table to him. “You can’t rewrite a person’s life. We’ve tried. All we can do is make sure that things go according to plan—”
“No!” He shut the book, shoving it across the desk. “I’m not going to give her up. I’ll find a way.”
“You’re acting like a child,” Wonwoo kept his voice even and calm. “If I need to get Seungcheol involved—”
“You don’t need to get him involved,” another voice sounded from the entryway. Soonyoung turned, and in strolled Mingyu, hands tucked into his pockets. “Seungcheol wouldn’t be able to stop him anyway.”
Wonwoo furrowed his brow. “Mingyu, you remembered what happened last time—”
“And I know that it’ll all be all right.” Mingyu stopped next to Soonyoung. He pulled out a small golden pendant that hung from a long chain, teeming with a mythical energy that was powerful. “Because Soonyoung will give her this, and your stupid book will change to see fit. It’s happened before—”
“That was an accident.”
“Well, accident it again.” Mingyu dropped the pendant into Soonyoung’s hand. “It’ll give her a little extra luck. A longer life, if things go right.”
“You don’t know what you’re messing with, Mingyu,” Wonwoo glowered at him from behind those glasses, eyes cold as steel. The room felt as though it’d fallen a few degrees, too. “This could easily put her in further danger—”
“It won’t,” Mingyu said, cocky as ever. The God of Freedom fit him just as much as his other titles. “Because luck will be on her side now.”
Before he could watch the two argue further, Soonyoung ducked out, throwing his thanks over his shoulder as he returned to his own domain. He felt the sun kiss his face as he wandered in, holding up the pendant so that it’d shimmer in the light. He could already envision it against your skin, shining perfectly in the sun as he stole you away for the day. Maybe he’d find a way to bring you here, to his domain, if he could. Then again… Seungcheol had banned mortals for good reason. He’d seen the destruction that they could bring, and this world wasn’t suited for them to live in anyhow. Still… He wished that you could see it. All he wanted to do was curl up on the grass with you, and sleep under the sunshine of his own domain. If he could find a way, he’d do it in a heartbeat.
Instead, he threw himself down onto his own chaise, curling up to rest for a while. He already missed the soft plush of your couch and the quilt that you shared together as you two enjoyed a bowl of soup together. He’d never admit it to any of the others, but your cooking would outdo Mingyu’s any day (although, knowing him, Mingyu would claim he was only saying it because he liked you). Perhaps if Mingyu wanted, he could come around… After Soonyoung had become yours. If stupid handsome Mingyu had shown up, then there was no telling if you’d stay so in love with Soonyoung or if stupid, charmingly handsome, clumsy Mingyu would somehow manage to steal your heart.
(It was childish to think, but Soonyoung pouted as he drifted off nonetheless.)
By the time he woke up, he knew the sun would soon be rising on the world below. Which meant that he needed to go soon. Jun would hopefully be returning as Soonyoung was leaving, and Soonyoung hoped to get a glance at your garden before you did. It wouldn’t be thriving—not immediately—but Soonyoung knew it’d look a little more verdant. Maybe the tomatoes would have grown a little more, though, so that you could be proud of them.
Jihoon stood in his way, though. “Soonyoung—”
“I remember what happened to them,” he said. “And I know you want me to stop.”
“And you won’t.” Jihoon pressed his lips together. “I know.”
“I think I love her,” he said. “I’ve… I’ve never felt like this before.”
Jihoon shut his eyes for a moment. He remembered how it felt, too: that rush of emotion that was so new to him. No one else had warned him about the more painful ones that would overtake him. No one but Seungcheol, who had lived that grief over and over again when wars started and ended. Seungcheol had been hardened by it: Jihoon was merely a god who wanted to spin songs for his lovers and write lyrical poems for them, too. The crystal around his neck seemed to glow a little brighter, and he nodded after a moment.
“Be careful.”
Soonyoung promised he would. He paused, turning back to Jihoon as he reached out for the necklace. Most days, Jihoon would turn away. Today he stayed still, and watched as Soonyoung brushed his fingers over it, that tiny flame within it still burning as bright as it did so long ago. If Soonyoung shut his eyes, he could feel fingers pressing against his own, a forehead pressing against his. Whether it was Jihoon’s or his lover, he would never be certain. Soonyoung always thought it was his lover, though: their touch was softer than Jihoon’s, who didn’t hesitate to put Soonyoung in his place the same way brothers fought.
He drew his hand back. Would this be him one day? Holding onto a crystal filled with his lover’s life? He hoped not. He’d find a way to keep you with him. Jihoon ran out of time. Soonyoung, with Wonwoo’s warning, would not. He refused to.
Jihoon watched as Soonyoung took off, and he curled his hand around that crystal again. “I know.” He shut his eyes again, and he could feel the way his lover pressed their lips against his skin, gentle as could be. “I know,” he repeated. “I’ll keep watching over him.”
And then he could feel the curve of a smile, too, and he found himself smiling. The sadness in his soul would always be there, but at least his lover’s flame still kept it warm.
True to his plans, Soonyoung came to you again that day. Barely seconds after he’d knocked at your door, you had opened it and pulled him inside, gushing about your garden. He feigned surprise well when you showed him how your tomatoes seemed to have found a new sense of life. He’d thank Jun when he saw him next: your joy was worth it. He reached into his pocket, finding the necklace as it pooled into a tiny pile.
“I… brought you something.”
You turned to him, clearly surprised. “Huh?”
“I saw it and I thought of you,” he unraveled the chain, holding it up. The round pendant twisted, shining in the sunlight, and he saw the way you lit up at it in pure shock. It… truthfully looked as though it would be expensive.
“Soonyoung…”
“Can I…?” He unlatched the clasp, and you turned with a tiny smile. Carefully, he draped it around your neck, fixing the clasp. His fingers brushed against the back of your neck, and he stepped back. “There.”
You turned back to face him, smiling a little. The chain was longer than he expected, the pendant falling closer to your chest than your collarbones, but you looked just as radiant as you always did. “Thank you,” you said quietly. “I’ll treasure it always.”
The tiniest flower of jealousy seemed to bloom within Soonyoung’s stomach. All you knew was this had been Soonyoung’s present to you… and yet all Soonyoung could think about was stupid Mingyu’s face, smiling brightly. He’d never mention that you loved it to Mingyu. He’d never heard the end of it if he did.
“Actually… I want to show you something.”
Soonyoung followed you out of your house, closing the door behind him and immediately hearing an unsettling noise when he did. When trying to open it, you discovered that he’d messed with it so it didn’t sit correctly anymore. You made a small joke about Soonyoung not knowing his own strength (oh, if only you knew) before you took his hand anyway.
“I’ll have someone come around eventually,” you said. “Don’t worry about it.”
So he wouldn’t. He trusted you, and he figured he would merely break it further if he tried. You took his hand, and began to guide him out of the town, saying something about how this would be a walk. He asked casually enough about if you would carve a little cat out of wood, since he had a friend who saw the tiger and loved it so much. You had agreed with a warm giggle, saying that you would do anything for him, before you started to tell him stories as you entered the woods together. In your youth, you would get lost within these woods alongside your friends. The sun would be setting as you all found your way home, your friends scared of the witches that the bigger kids always said lived in the woods. You, on the other hand, had never been.
“One day, I got separated from everyone,” you kicked a pebble along the path. “It was getting darker, and I started getting scared that I might not find my way home. And then… I saw it. There was this glowing bear in the woods. And it looked at me, and I felt like it was telling me to follow it.”
Soonyoung already knew what it was: the guardian of forests. Seungkwan’s doing, no doubt. Seungkwan had always found some way to protect children through sending a benevolent bear to guide them out of the forests when they were lost. It was surrounded by this warm glow as another way to tell them that it was safe. Follow me, the aura said, I’ll protect you. It protected others too, according to Seungkwan, but it would always come to children when they needed it.
“I feel like I’ve always had a connection with nature because of it,” you said. The two of you had entered into a clearing within the forest, and you let go of his hand. “That’s why I’ve always dreamed of building a home here.” You spread your arms out, twirling in the sunlight before you stopped to face him again. “But for now, it’s where I come to think.”
“Do you come here often?” Soonyoung walked forward, taking in the sights.
It almost reminded him of his own domain a little bit. There were wildflowers springing up from the grass, dotting the area with little white and yellow and pink buds. He could hear the brook in the distance if he listened closely, and the sound of animals running to and fro. If it were a little brighter, it’d be like home for him. Soonyoung turned to watch you as you seemed to thrive here, crouching down to admire the flowers. He could hear the music of the earth if he listened close enough: the bubbles in the brook, the scratching of a squirrel in the trees, the wind as it whistled…
“Do you dance?”
You turned, before standing back up. “Do you?” You smiled. “Are you asking me to dance this time, Soonyoung?”
He smiled, and offered his hands to you. The smile you gave him in return could light the sun once over, and you placed your hands in his own. He drew you closer to him, guiding you happily.
“You’re better when I’m not drunk,” you teased. “Is this what you do for a living?”
“Something like that,” he laughed warmly. He squeezed your hands a little, twirling you out from him. “So… Why do you like me?” He brought you back in, “You said you didn’t like the other people here. Why me?”
You hummed for a moment, thinking over the question. “At first, you just… You stood out. But now… I think you’re sweet. You came back to town, and I realized I really liked dancing with you that night.”
“I came back to town because I liked you, too,” he confessed. “I thought… I didn’t want to miss this chance.”
“Really?” You giggled softly. “So why did you like me, then?”
Because you seemed to outshine life itself, and he needed to know why. “I like your stories.”
“Well… Good,” you hummed. “Is that all?”
He smiled, drawing you in closer. “And I like you.”
Something about it made you laugh. “You’re so honest,” you said. “I like that. Most people dance around their feelings for far too long.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gazing into his eyes. “The girl at the marketplace counting petals and wondering if the other girl loves or not despite knowing the answer. The boy that was too shy to tell his friend that he loves him until his friend says it first…” You hummed. “Why waste time when you’ve found your actual soulmate?”
“Is that what I am?” Soonyoung’s hands rested on your hips. “Your soulmate?”
You smiled at him again. “Is that what you think I am?”
Soonyoung leaned in, kissing you instead, and you kissed back eagerly. Soulmate, he thought to himself. It was as though Hansol had wrapped a string around the two of you, tying you together in a hidden way that only his heart knew to be true. He felt as though something deep within him had yearned for you since the moment the two of you met. You might be his soulmate…
Soonyoung liked the sound of that.
Hansol had come into Soonyoung’s domain that night when he returned home, and immediately gagged when he saw him. Soonyoung had looked up to where Hansol had hunched over, a wrist pressed against his mouth as he leaned against a pillar near the entry point to his domain. Was the smell truly that strong? Jihoon had said Hansol had known that Soonyoung was in love, and apparently he reeked of the smell. Jihoon once smelled like this, too—that had to be what Hansol was smelling. The love of a god to a mortal, something truly awful apparently.
“Soonyoung,” he said, catching his breath. “You’re going to get yourself hurt.”
Soonyoung groaned. “Why does everyone keep telling me that?” He sat up from his space in the grass, where he’d been daydreaming about the day he spent with you. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he was in that clearing again, kissing you.
“I mean it,” Hansol said. “Dude. I don’t want to tell you this, but I spoke to the others. Wonwoo and Seokmin both agreed that no matter what you do, she’s going to die because of it. Even Joshua admitted it—”
With a wave of his hand, Hansol was whisked out of his domain, and the entryway was temporarily severed. He turned over onto his side, shutting his eyes again. Everyone was against this, but why? If he was truly putting you in danger, then they should tell him what it was. That way, Soonyoung would be able to find a way to protect you. All the others ever did was tell him to stop, and they never gave him a real reason past a vague idea that you would die. All mortals would die one day, and Soonyoung just wanted to enjoy the time had with you before he lost you. If he lost you. Maybe, by then, he would have found a way to truly save you—and not in the way Jihoon had done.
He started to see you daily. Some days the two of you would walk together, hand in hand, through the town. He would accompany you to the market, and you would teach him how to haggle, and he would carry your bags back home like the gentleman he was trying to be for you. You never did get that door fixed, but you had said you didn’t mind it. It just meant you had to lift it a little when you opened or closed it, and that unwanted visitors wouldn’t be able to get in so easily. He met your friends once, as they ate dinner with the two of you and teased you endlessly for falling so hard for Soonyoung. You didn’t even deny it anymore, and Soonyoung would smile so hard that his cheeks hurt. They pointed out that he seemed to love you just as much, and Soonyoung didn’t deny it, either. He just kissed you passionately once the two of you were left alone again, happy to have your company. Other days, the two of you would rest in your home together. You would read poetry to him sometimes, because he loved to listen to the sound of your voice. Everything was always prettier when it came from you. He watched you carve the cat for Jun one day, explaining everything as you did. Your mother had taught you how to carve these things, and you were a little better at normal cats than you were tigers. Soonyoung passed it to Jun one day and saw the look of pure delight in his eyes when he looked it over, thanking him for the gift.
Seokmin asked to meet you one day. At first, Soonyoung had been hesitant… But he let him accompany him down to your home. When you answered the door, you’d almost greeted Soonyoung with a kiss until you saw his companion.
“This is my friend,” Soonyoung said. “He was at the festival with me, actually. He was passing through town, and—”
“I’m Seokmin,” he introduced himself, taking your hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Yet the moment his touch met yours, Soonyoung could see that Seokmin’s smile twitched a little. All too easily, he recovered and followed you into your home. You always made extra for dinner, since your neighbor had a baby to take care of now, and you would try to take food to her and her partner when you could. If not you, then other people did—everyone looked out for one another here. Seokmin listened to you attentively as you talked over dinner, asking questions about how he knew Soonyoung (he worked alongside him before). Seokmin seemed to take the role of entertainer with ease, always knowing the right thing to say to make you laugh. All Soonyoung could do was sit by and fall even deeper in love with you.
The two of them left your house, making their way out of town so they could return home, and Soonyoung saw the way Seokmin changed within an instant. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Seokmin continued forward. “I see why you adore her so much.” He paused, though, and turned to face Soonyoung in the dying light of day. “You want to see her again, don’t you?”
Soonyoung smiled to himself. “I always do.”
“You should go, then. I’m sure she wants to see you, too. I’ll go home by myself.”
Soonyoung could only thank him, turning on his heel to return to you. You had greeted him warmly, and the moment that the door was shut behind the two of you, you’d taken him into your arms and kissed him passionately. His back bumped against the door, and his hands fell to your waist immediately.
“Your friend is nice,” you said when you stopped for a moment, “but I had to fight myself to keep my hands off of you.”
He chuckled, drawing you back in for another kiss. “Don’t you always?”
You playfully swatted at his side, pressing a quick peck against his lips. “With you, I really have to.” Your hands slipped underneath his shirt. “Soonyoung, I—”
Your fingertips traced his bare skin, and suddenly he understood what it felt to want another person deeply. That deep, devoted need to be closer to you than he had ever been before. He stared at you, and he realized that you felt it, too. No wonder you always found some way to touch him. He’d kissed you passionately before, that need building within the core of his being to be with you, but not like this. It felt hot and heavy and his head felt suddenly so much foggier than it had ever been, his mind centered only on you, you, you. He drew you back in for another kiss, deeper than before.
“Soonyoung,” you said after a moment. “Do you want me?”
He did. More than anything now. He was thankful for his godly strength, even when suppressing everything else about himself, as he lifted you into his arms with ease. He carried you away, your arms hooked around his neck as you giggled. With every taunting kiss you placed against his neck, he grew giddier, and he stopped hesitating once he threw you onto your bed. You had lured in him fully, and he was more than ready to be yours in every possible way.
Which must have been why he felt so guilty come morning. He’d woken up, turning over to admire the beautiful sight of your bare skin. He wished to study you further, to have a mental map of every dip and freckle and blemish your skin had so that he could worship every single part of you fully. But he needed to return home, at least to attend to what he needed to. He leaned in, kissing your lips for as long as he could spare before he left your bed. It had woken you up, and you watched him get dressed in the early light of day, chuckling to yourself at the marks you’d left on him.
“Can’t you just… stay here with me?” You reached for his hand, drawing him in again. “Forever?”
A temptation so, so sweet… but one he had to turn down again. “Maybe tomorrow,” he said. He could do this, he thought to himself. He could live a double life. He just needed to get things in order. “I don’t want to go.”
You let out a sigh—not disappointed or annoyed, but tired. “I know.” You kissed his knuckles. “Soonyoung, I—”
He kissed you one more time, and he felt the way you smiled into it after a moment. He drew back, pressing one final kiss against your forehead. “Tomorrow,” he promised. “I’ll come back to you.”
Your smile wavered for barely a second. “I know you will. Until tomorrow.”
Hansol wrinkled his nose again when Soonyoung passed by him. Jihoon looked concerned. Soonyoung just returned to his own realm to do what he needed to do. All too soon, he curled up on a warm patch of grass, and fell asleep, lost in a beautiful sense of bliss he already ached to feel again.
Jihoon yanked Soonyoung from his sleep without a second thought, and didn’t speak once as he dragged him out of his domain. Soonyoung had barely woken up, yet followed Jihoon dutifully. Sometimes the gods had these meetings for whatever reason. Typically it was when war was coming, because Seungcheol would always go down below, unseen by mortals, to watch the bloodshed. To circle war tables and sometimes push for something that would end the fighting sooner. It was invigorating. It was draining. But Jeonghan was in charge until peace came, in which Jeonghan would go down and bring Seungcheol home. Of course, not all of this pertained to the others so much as it was just a reminder that they had jobs to do. That just because Seungcheol was leaving was not an excuse to play around.
Yet Jihoon shoved him toward the middle of the room without a word. Soonyoung realized that all eyes were on him—save for Seungcheol, who was staring up at a mirror that Joshua must have brought in as an alternate to his pools of water, and Jeonghan, who was watching Seungcheol.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s over, Soonyoung.” Seungcheol turned back to him, pity in his eyes. Guilt, too. A look that said I should have never let it get this far. “I’m sorry.”
Soonyoung looked up at the mirror, something pulling him toward it. He tried to focus harder on the blurry scene. It was always harder for anyone who wasn’t Joshua (or a save few others) to look into a person’s life and see what was happening. But he saw it. Fire. Your town. Your home. You, in your bed, waking up to the sound of someone trying to get in. The vision was lost as he stumbled back. “No—”
Seungcheol took his hand. “Soonyoung, I’m sorry—”
Seokmin stepped forward. “She was marked for death. I felt it when I touched her hand. I’m sorry, Soonyoung, I couldn’t remove it. It’s in fate’s hands now—”
“No!”
Soonyoung tore his hand free from Seungcheol’s grip and took off running. Despite the lunge Mingyu had made for him, Soonyoung was desperate. He threw his elbow into the man’s ribs. Even gods had weak spots when it came to another god hitting them, after all. Soonyoung needed to get to you now, before something worse could happen. He landed below, barely masking his aura as he took off running toward your home.
Your house was ruined by the time he got there. It was still burning, but he screamed your name. The door was open, and he rushed in to see your ransacked home. Broken pots and ceramics, furniture upturned and strew everywhere, curtains ripped to shreds… But the back door was open. He went through it and saw your poor, still-burning garden. Yet no you. The ground was disheveled near the fence, trailing up the side of it too. You got out.
You got out.
Soonyoung hopped the fence with ease, taking off running in the direction that the dirt led. Toward the forest—you’d ran away. You must have. He just kept yelling your name as loudly as he could, listening for something, anything, that told him you were alive. If he focused on the little wooden tiger in his pocket, he could still feel you. Everyone had a connection to their creations, and he just had to follow it to you. This golden string that was wrapped around his own soul and drawing him forward. Yet he heard crunching, further from the twigs and leaves underneath his own feet. He wasn’t alone.
He saw you first, lying on the ground in the clearing that you’d kissed him in. And in a different direction, he saw a man, making his way toward you. All it took was the glint of a knife for Soonyoung to drop his aura.
“Get the FUCK away from her!”
And within seconds, the man had burst into flames. Soonyoung stood, the sound of his scream echoing in his ears, and he turned his attention back to you. The man collapsed to the ground, dying and burning and filling the air with this disgusting smell that’d haunt him forever. Yet Soonyoung just made his way forward to you, growing more desperate with those last few steps. He dropped to his knees next to your crumpled body, staring at you for just a moment. You’d curled in on yourself, chest slowly rising and falling. You were alive. All Soonyoung could do was say your name once more as he reached for you, suddenly so much more helpless than he’d ever been before.
“I’m here,” he said, reaching for you. “I’m here, I’m here…”
Your life was fading, and he could see it in your eyes as they seemed to grow dimmer. Yet the light that was starting to shine around him reflected in them. “... Soonyoung?”
“It’s me,” he said, a hand cupping your face. He could feel powerful presences growing closer to him. The others were coming. “What happened?”
Before you could answer, he suddenly noticed the dark stain at your abdomen. He reached a hand down, and pulled his hand away to see dark blood covering his fingers. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no—
“I’m sorry,” you wheezed out, hand taking his, your own blood smearing against your skin. “I… I tried to run, Soonyoung. I’m lucky. I… I heard one of them trying to break in, and…”
“Who did this to you?”
“Bandits.” You pressed your cheek against his hand. “Came into town yesterday. Didn’t mention it.” Your brows furrowed together in pain, one of your hands dropping down to your wound. “Didn’t—Didn’t wanna scare you…”
“No,” he whispered, voice cracking, “nonono… Don’t,” he clutched your hand in his, “don’t go.”
“Soonie,” your hand squeezed his. Your eyes were welling up with tears that he could see as his light grew brighter. “It hurts.”
He could fix this. He had to fix this. It wasn’t your time yet—Seokmin had to be wrong. It couldn’t be your time yet. Not when you had so much more life to live. Not now.
“Soonyoung!” Seokmin’s voice rang out across the clearing. And then he heard him say his name again, softer as he grew closer. Seokmin kneeled down on the other side of you. “It’s time,” he said. He reached toward you, “I have to take her—”
“No!” Soonyoung slapped his hand away. He felt the air grow hotter around him. The sky was bright with fire and ash, and even the moon overhead seemed to glow brighter now. “You aren’t taking her!”
Wonwoo stepped forward, too. “Soonyoung, we warned you—”
“You aren’t touching her!”
Fire crackled around Soonyoung, and he watched as Seokmin and Wonwoo backed off immediately. Sweat began to bead at Soonyoung’s browline, and the world seemed so, so desperately hot. Even the others had recognized it, as Soonyoung had seen the way they were tugging at their clothes and wiping away sweat. Jihoon even seemed pained, his own aura glowing a little brighter. Soonyoung’s gaze fell to you again, one hand falling down to your wound. Maybe… Maybe if he used a little of his fire, he could fix this. He could close your wound, and Joshua would heal you, because Joshua always supported him, and you would live. You had to live. He couldn’t let you go. He wasn’t Jihoon: Soonyoung was not as strong as Jihoon. He felt tears run down his face, and he let you a sob, pulling you into his arms, face buried in your shoulder. You were still alive in his arms, he just had to find a way to keep you there.
“Don’t—Don’t cry.” You chuckled weakly. “Can’t cry over me, Soonie.” He felt your hand push between the two of you, and he drew back to see the pain on your face. “Guess… Guess the girl who gave you this won, huh?”
… What? Soonyoung felt a tug around his neck. He stared at you, and then looked down to where your hand had clasped around that little golden vial.
“I hope she’s nice to you,” your voice grew quieter. And then you let out a whine, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck—”
Soonyoung didn’t think. He ripped the vial from around his throat, the corded knot coming undone with ease. He ripped the cork out with his teeth.
“Soonyoung, what are you—” Minghao had spoken up. “Soonyoung!”
“Let him.” Joshua hid a smile, standing furthest away from the group.
Soonyoung could hear someone questioning Joshua, but his eyes met yours as he squeezed you gently. You’d opened your eyes again after a moment, tears running down your cheeks. He took a deep breath. “Trust me,” he said, “and I’ll tell you everything.”
Your life continued to fade within his arms, and Soonyoung knew he needed to act now. He pushed the vial between your lips, and watched the golden liquid drain into your mouth. He watched as you weakly swallowed it, entrusting your life into Soonyoung’s hands without hesitating. Soonyoung dropped the bottle onto the ground, and watched, waiting for something to happen. All too soon, it did as your chest began to glow. A ray of golden light, so similar to Soonyoung’s own, sparked up from within it, and then began to spread throughout your body. Suddenly, that fading reversed. Your life grew stronger—stronger than it had been before. The wound in your stomach looked as though it had the sun’s rays stretch from it before he watched the skin pull itself back together, the wound disappearing under blood until it faded into nothing but soft skin.
He hoped you would look him in the eyes, suddenly alive again. Instead, your eyes fluttered shut, and your head lulled. But he could feel the hum of your life force as it grew stronger and stronger underneath his fingers. He could see you breathing. Soonyoung turned, looking to Joshua and calling out to him with a quiet “Shua—”
Who merely smiled and raised a hand, waving before disappearing into thin air. Immediately, it was followed by the yelling of angry and confused gods before they started to follow after him… Except for Soonyoung. He turned back to you, pressing his forehead against yours. Beside him, he could feel Jihoon crouching down.
“I’m sorry,” he said when he looked up, “that this couldn’t be done for—”
“Life changes,” Jihoon simply said. “Joshua learns.”
Suddenly, it clicked. Joshua had always seen this coming. Soonyoung looked to you, and hoisted you into his arms with that same godly strength he used to break your door and to carry you to bed before. He saw something split, though: the you in his arms was not the you left on the ground. Had this happened when he was given godhood? Or was he made differently? He’d have to ask Seungcheol sometime. But he paused, paying respects to your mortal form before he turned to Jihoon. The rain had begun to finally begun, the distant smoke and fire having begun to die down. Jihoon stood beside him, and looked to the distance.
“Let’s go home.”
Underneath the warm sunlight, you woke up in a daze. One minute you had felt yourself clinging to that last thread of life, and now…
“Good morning.”
Soonyoung kneeled beside you, a hand cupping your face. He looked at you so, so lovingly now. You realized after a moment, though, that something was… off about him. He seemed to have this stronger aura that surrounded him. The same one that had drawn you to him that first night, but seemed to disappear when he returned to you. He felt warmer, too, underneath your fingertips as you reached up, taking your face into his hands. Maybe even more radiant, if you were honest, but Soonyoung had always been radiant in your eyes. He smiled at you, leaning in to press his forehead against your own. Your memories were foggy, but you remembered Soonyoung clinging to you. The sound of him yelling at others, and this weird, warm feeling that overtook you for a moment before it was frightened away. Then you were fading and fighting…
Now you were here with your lover.
“Where am I?” You asked after a moment, once Soonyoung had drawn away. “Is this… death?” Then you paused. “Soonyoung, did they get you—”
He merely laughed, so soft and warm and welcoming. “I have… a lot that I need to tell you. Please don’t be mad.”
Your lover was literally a god. The same god you had been celebrating that night in the center of town when you drunkenly tripped over your feet and into his arms. Talk about full of himself (you’d have to tease him over it later). Soonyoung told you everything, though. For as long as he could remember, he’d been the God of the Sun and the God of Dance. So when he told you that he was a dancer, he wasn’t technically lying… It just happened to go a little beyond that. The man he had brought to you once, Seokmin, was the God of Death and the Underworld, always looking after those who depart from life with a warm hand to guide them onward. He’d almost taken you a few days ago when Soonyoung found you, but… You technically owed your life, whatever it was now, to Joshua, the God of Life and of Medicine.
“I saw what was going to happen,” Joshua had confirmed Soonyoung’s suspicions casually enough. Soonyoung had brought you to him because you wanted to thank him yourself. “I watched Jihoon lose his lover. I wasn’t going to let it happen again.”
“Jihoon…?”
Said god lingered around the doorway to Joshua’s domain, having followed you and Soonyoung in. Soonyoung drew away from you, just enough to turn and look at him.
“My brother,” Soonyoung said. “They’re all my brothers, I mean, but… Jihoon’s different.”
Jihoon’s face went red at the sappy way that Soonyoung had said it, so genuine and endeared to his beloved friend. All Soonyoung could do was laugh, and Jihoon pouted. “Don’t say it like that,” he said, a hand curling around the crystal that hung around his neck. “She shouldn’t like me. I tried to stop this—”
“You had to try and stop this,” Joshua piped up. “Everyone else kind of had to try. Except Mingyu, but Mingyu… Mingyu does whatever he wants.”
“That pendant’s actually from him,” Jihoon said, a tiny smirk on his face. “So technically—”
Soonyoung let out a groan, “Don’t say it!”
Joshua merely chuckled at the two, before his gaze met yours again. “All of this was going to happen one way or another. The bandits would come to your town. You would escape, but not get far before one found you… and then he would kill you. Soonyoung had stepped in before your life was cut even shorter.” He sat down on that chaise, draping an arm over the back of it. “And thankfully he never drank what I’d given him when all of this began.”
“I said I wouldn’t!”
Joshua laughed again, so light and airy. Suddenly, you understood why there were so many poems dedicated to him. “So now you’re… well…”
“One of us.”
Another man had entered, far more imposing than the others. Yet he had this soft look in his eyes when he saw you, especially when he saw the way Soonyoung stood so protectively close over you. No one could blame him—not after he watched your life nearly slip through his fingers. He made his way over to Joshua, standing rigid beside his chaise.
Soonyoung stared at him, brows drawing together. “What?”
“Potentially,” Seungcheol corrected himself. “It’s not in my hands. But whatever Joshua mixed up changed her entirely.” He stepped forward, closer to you, and gave you a proper once-over. You could feel what he meant, though: something about you felt… stronger. Warmer. More powerful, but in a vague sense, as thought your body was still a pile of clay to be molded. “And if she’s chosen… She’ll be one of us properly. Either sharing a domain with another, or taking it over entirely. It depends on what the upper powers want.”
You furrowed your brows and looked to Soonyoung for some sort of guidance. “Upper powers…?”
“Higher gods,” Joshua said. “While we’re all pretty powerful on our own, there’s bigger guys out there. One of them made the entire world as we know it. Think of it like this: Jeonghan’s the God of Creation, but he’s only a lesser one of it… and he’s more in charge of creation in a vague, artsy sense. Who knows,” Joshua said, lounging back. “Maybe you’ll be like that if you’re chosen.”
“And if she’s not?” Soonyoung said quietly. “They can’t get rid of her… Can they?”
Seungcheol exchanged a worried look to Joshua. “I’ll be speaking on your behalf today,” he said to Soonyoung. “I trust her. Anyone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for must be special.”
You’d hidden a smile at that, and seen the way Soonyoung’s cheeks flushed. Before anyone could embarrass him further, he decided you needed to meet the others. That included Wonwoo, who greeted you warmly and apologized to you almost immediately. He had accepted it, though, that fate had dictated he try to stop Soonyoung. He introduced you to Hansol shortly after, who outright gagged as Soonyoung came into his domain with you, hand-in-hand. He’d apologized for both that and for his own hand in trying to stop Soonyoung from loving you.
“It’ll stop,” he said after a moment. “Godly love smells different. You still… smell like a mortal’s love.”
Whatever he was smelling, you couldn’t smell it. “Sorry—”
“Don’t be. You’re great,” he said. “Just—no one can smell it. Just me and, uh, other people like me. I’m in my own personal prison.”
It made you laugh a little, and Hansol chuckled, too. He merely told you to keep Soonyoung in check, earning a groan from him. He wasn’t that immature. Love just made him do something a little crazy. Where was the problem in that?
The others were warm to you, too, even if they all apologized for their hands in this plot (save for Mingyu, who boasted that he always had faith in Soonyoung the entire time). While they all had beautiful domains in their own right, you stayed alongside Soonyoung in his own. There was nowhere else you’d rather be after all. He gave you space to mourn your beloved down and the others that fell alongside you. The two of you saw that your body had been found and buried by your friends and loved one, and Soonyoung accompanied you to your grave with a spell cast over both of you to keep you invisible.
He left the little wooden tiger at your grave to watch over it. He didn’t need it anymore: he had you now.
The two of you only fell deeper in love with each passing day. He let go of the mortal exterior he’d taken to speak to you before, letting himself be fully genuine around you. He was still bright, warm, loving Soonyoung when he was with you, but you realized that he was a little quieter. Less so when he was around the others (especially Seungkwan, who Soonyoung took delight in occasionally teasing), but his love was gentler than it had been before. It came in the forms of gentle kisses and checking on you, in making sure that you were happy and well alongside him, and in taking care of you. You were able to see firsthand how hard he worked, and the way he cared for the sun. Yet you saw him love you more with each day. He stole kisses from you whenever he could, and impressed you with his strength. Jihoon had told you not to fall for it: he was a complete doofus when you really got to know him.
(You merely told Jihoon that you already knew that: that doofus was who you fell in love with.)
Your title was bestowed upon you in a great hall when you were called before a higher council of gods. You didn’t know the other faces in that hall as well as the others did, but you felt secure. Seungcheol had held one of your hands in his, representing his specific group with a stony face and an iron will. Soonyoung held your other hand, supporting you as your partner in everything from now on. He’d admitted to you he was terrified that they would take you away from him. They had the power to do so, after all.
The higher council spoke all at once with this tinny sound to their voices, all melding into something that felt as though it could crush your skull with its power. Maybe if you were a mortal, it would have. They said your name, and went onto a long spiel about what made a god worthy of their titles.
And then you were deemed the Goddess of Youth, after you had had yours ripped away. The lesser Guardian of the Sun, to stand beside your lover evermore. And a Protector of Fate, which you had defied, although not alone.
Soonyoung almost sobbed when he heard it among the cheers. You were his. You would always be his. He would always be yours. He lifted you up, kissing you proudly in front of everyone. The two of you were safe now, and he hugged Seungcheol tight, thanking him a thousand times for whatever he must have said to help this decision come to. Seungcheol swore that he did nothing: that it was Soonyoung’s love for you that did most of the work. He merely accepted the knowledge that would be given to you, all wrapped into a tome. Although you wouldn’t be considered one of his to be in charge of (at least, not quite yet—decisions were yet to be finalized), Seungcheol would be the one in charge of guiding you as you learned your place.
Soonyoung took you back to his domain—yours now, too—and kissed you again. He lifted you into his arms, always happy to show off his strength in full now (you always teased that you knew something had to be up—no mortal man could carry all he did without breaking a sweat), and carried you forward. He laid you onto his chaise, kissing you as you guided him back with you.
“I love you,” he whispered against your lips. He came into your life pretending to be a mortal man because you had bewitched him heart and soul, turning him into nothing but a man with a single night. You were his soulmate, and he was yours, even in godhood now.
The world would change in time, and eventually begin to tell tales of the God of Sun and his lover who appeared within the sunbeams that broke through trees in forests. The warm figure who walked alongside the protector of the forests to guide children home, before disappearing with a distant wave, always a story that young people spoke of fondly. Some stories said that in a clearing within a forest, the God of Sun could be seen, lounging with his lover as though they had no cares in the world (the two of you had escaped to the mortal world one day, just to enjoy the sunlight there together, and apparently some travelers had seen you). One day, they would carve your body from marble, but never quite get you right. Others had their own ideas for what you would look like, the same as they did with Soonyoung. No one would ever utter your name, but it would live on Soonyoung’s every day. He had you for life now, immortality to keep the two of you together.
But in your arms? Soonyoung was nothing but a man who had devoted himself to you with everything that he had. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
#wooahaes.fic#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen imagine#svt x reader#svt x you#seventeen imagines#seventeen angst#svt imagine#svt angst#hoshi x you#hoshi x reader#kwon soonyoung x you#kwon soonyoung x reader#hoshi angst#hoshi fluff#kwon soonyoung fluff#kwon soonyoung angst
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https://www.tumblr.com/twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat/747358492889858048/sugurus-route-sounds-interesting-i-know-a-lot-of?source=share
is it just me, but if reader and suguru are in their twenties, i don't see the four year age gap being a big deal? and later on, it becomes even less of a big deal.
i get that there may be some moral deliberation on suguru's part with the growing up aspect, but for them to keep their relationship a secret forever? really? that's kinda weird imo and making a big fuss out of nothing
if they're like 24 and 28, why the hell do they have to hide? i literally don't get it at all. they're not doing anything immoral. and reader is not a child by any means, and it's not like they have some cognitive gap or anything. i just don't get it. maybe it's a cultural thing, and for you it's a bigger deal than it is for me.
obviously fourteen x eighteen is super fucked up and wrong, but we're not talking about that, my god
aaa and !!! as for riko !!!! kairo COOKED w the shoko thing.
i think... that this pairing makes a lot of sense! i think it makes more sense than riko x reader, tbh
i just... i don't see the need of turning every best friend friendship into a romance
like irl i don't want to fuck my friends (pardon me for being crude) and i will never want to fuck them, and that's okay. i'm perfectly satisfied with our friendships staying friendships, and the transition to a romance is not necessarily a signification of a 'higher-level' relationship
at the end of the day though, as others have said, it's your stories so you get to do whatever the hell you want to do with it
…. anon i talked abt this a bit in another ask but maybe you missed it so i’ll say it again :’3
(this got very long i’m sorry in advance 😔)
the gap itself isn’t the problem, it’s not a big deal in their twenties. the issue here is the way their dynamic started. satoru always viewed reader like a younger sibling, and it was the same with suguru. don’t you think that would be awkward for them at all? 😭 i think you’re focusing on the present point of their relationship which is fine, but their history as a whole is important too!! if you grew up with a younger kid who was crushing on you, while you viewed them as a sibling, wouldn’t you also feel weird about developing feelings for them later down the line? i definitely would!!
the important part is the shift in their dynamic, not the age gap (but i mention the gap bc it’s so central to their prior dynamic). satoru can’t bring himself to shift his view on reader, bc he still sees them as someone younger that he needs to protect. there’s a kind of power dynamic there that’s important to remember, and it was established when they first met. he’s older, he’s known you since you were a little kid, he’s spent all those years making sure not to give you the impression that he’s leading you on at all. satoru doesn’t want to break that pattern, and he views that choice as important.
so don’t you think he’d be kind of pissed if he found out suguru had gotten together with you? if he found out suguru had made a choice to break that pattern, when he was so adamant on not doing so? there would definitely be a lot of tension there. satoru literally spends the fic talking about how he thinks reader should be with someone better, someone closer to their own age, someone who they didn’t meet from such a young age — and then he finds out they’re with suguru??
like . there’s no way there wouldn’t be a fight there. i’m not saying it’d be the end of the world or their friendship or anything, but satoru would absolutely be upset with suguru. especially since he places him on such a high pedastal. it’s less about morality and more about convictions. there’s nothing immoral about them being together, but it goes against the convictions satoru’s found himself sticking to.
so!!! that’s the reason i think they would keep their relationship secret. to avoid that tension. i can’t see it being anything other than a sneaky summer romance. maybe in the future they could tell everyone, but i also just don’t see suguru/reader as an actual endgame couple in this au… i didn’t specify this in the fic but the two of them aren’t nearly as close as reader is with riko and satoru, since they only met when suguru was hanging out at the gojo household.
anyway!! that’s my take on that. again, the gap isn’t the issue, it’s everything surrounding their dynamic, and the history of it. bottom line is that stsg grew up viewing reader as a sibling of sorts, so of course any kind of shift from that pattern would feel strange. if you meet someone when they’re fourteen and you’re eighteen, i’d argue that it’s a lot weirder to not consider that part of your dynamic important when thinking of them as a potential romantic interest in the future.
like, imagine someone asking you and your partner for your age, and you tell them you’re 27 while your partner is 23. not a big deal, obviously!! but then they ask what age you were when you met and you have to say you were eighteen and they were fourteen. even if you quickly explain that you didn’t get together until you were both adults, don’t you think that would earn you some weird stares? it’s not immoral but it’s a delicate situation, and i think satoru would get angry at suguru for not handling it delicately enough from his pov. remember that satoru himself can only see it as totally normal like. a decade into the future LMAO. his view doesn’t have to be the same as yours or mine, but it’s satoru’s own view that’s important here.
….. hopefully that made it all a bit more clear 😭 sorry for rambling so much anon!! hopefully you’re still with me :’3 obviously you’re free to root for whichever couple you want, but i don’t see myself changing my stance on these two. it’s a fun what-if bonus ending and i think that’s more than enough!! nothing that’s meant to be angsty or whatever, just suguru and reader sneaking around a bit because they know riko and satoru will be angry.
AH ALSO one more thing !! :’3 i’d argue that there is a cognitive gap between reader and suguru. reader is 22-23 in the fic, suguru is 27. it’s not a big gap but the human brain doesn’t finish developing completely until your mid/late twenties!!
i just... i don't see the need of turning every best friend friendship into a romance
like irl i don't want to fuck my friends (pardon me for being crude) and i will never want to fuck them, and that's okay. i'm perfectly satisfied with our friendships staying friendships, and the transition to a romance is not necessarily a signification of a 'higher-level' relationship
wait nevermind i also wanna talk abt this 💔 a bit more rambling incoming.
overall!! you don’t have to like riko/reader anon. that’s totally understandable!! a part of me also prefers them staying as friends and nothing else, and i’ve always hated the idea that romantic love is seen as stronger as platonic love bc it just . isn’t. platonic love can be and often is just as powerful!! canonically reader and riko are best friends, nothing else, but i still think they’d be cute in a what-if scenario, that’s all :3 if it’s not your cup of tea then that’s totally fine, none of the endings are canon anyway.
as for the sexual aspect 😭 i just wanted to point this out bc i never write any of my character dynamics with a sexual aspect in mind, even the romantic ones. sex doesn’t have to be a part of romance!! maybe you were just joking so i’m sorry if i’m reading too much into it, just wanted to mention it bc i do see it as important :’3 being lovers doesn’t equal to having sex!!
#phew ok i’m done 😭😭#sorry if any of this comes off as rude anon!! i just want to be as firm as possible with my own takes so there’s no confusion#at the end of the day you can like and dislike whatever ideas you want!! we don’t have to agree on them all :3#that makes it more fun anyway!!#but i hope you’ll enjoy reading the endings whenever i post them >:3 still haven’t fully decided on some things but#i do have three endings in mind hehe#ask tag ✩
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what do you like about rotmhs? like what draws you in?
GAHH IM SO GLAD YOU ASKEDDD at the top of my head thhe top three things i felt really drew me into and made me fall in love w rotmhs is the found family/bonds before blood narrative, the action/fight scenes, and the comedy..
rotmhs is not a romance and i feel like that really pushes people away from reading it, especially folks who were first introduced to east asian novels through bl (specifically mxtxs novels like mdzs tgcf etc etc) which i feel is incredibly disappointing because yallre missing out on a certain depth of writing and nuance you otherwise wouldnt get in a romance focused novel. (orv is another extremely popular knovel with no romance.. if you like orv PLEASE give rotmhs a shot)
rotmhs is about a dead man resurrected a hundred years into the future having to come to terms w the fact that everyone he loved is dead and that the only home he ever had was destroyed, its inhabitants and centuries worth of teachings burned to the ground, and that it was partially his fault these things happened, so in order to prevent a future catastrophe he knows is on the horizon, he trains the youth of this new generation and finds a new home surrounded by ghosts in the wreckage of his home of his past
⬆️…very dramatic but somewhat accurate barebones synopsis of rotmhs which is fairly faithful enough methinks.. rotmhs doesnt make a point of going ‘heyy these guys are family nowww theyre brothers and sisters and love each other like familyyy’ LOL the growth is very subtle and before u can really blink ur like ‘oh man.. chung myung would kill for these kids. obliviously though. i dont think he knows he even likes them’ all the while hes still aching w the loss of his loved ones before.. if we’re being really really honest chung myung, the mc, truly is the star of the show and a character i got attached to incredibly quickly.. hes so stupid but so smart he has so many issues i want to hit him with my car then nurse him back to health just to hit him again
chung myung himself is a whole other thing i could get into but he has so many layers.. so much depth.. on the surface ud look at him and think what a punk but look a little closer and then ud think oh this punk has depression ptsd survivors guilt hallucinations etc etc LIKE DAMN.. I THIUGHT HE WAS JUST A FUNNY LITTLE GUY WHYD I GET SUCKER PUNCHED
what was i even talking about. OH right romance. please please dont let the lack of romance dissuade you, imo it is soooo refreshing to read something that isnt focused on romance like i love yaoi like the next bl reading bitch but damn.. ive always been into found family and while the bl novels i have read did always have a little hint of it, i always wanted more and rotmhs fills that void
(that being said i cant stop yall from shipping if yall want LOL im guilty of shipping charas too despite everythiing i just said… if yall want yalls yaoiyuri fix may i direct yalls attention to the ‘doomed by the narrative, tragic best-friends-to-almost-lovers tangchung’ & ‘love at first sight sweethearts iseolsoso’ ….. :SMILES: I LOVE TANGCHUNG..!!!!!!)
NEXT, the action and fight scenes in rotmhs, even in written text form, are sublime to say the least.. my fail cis dudebro trait is that i love crazy insane adrenaline rushing heart pumping shounen-esque battles so much that i could typically care less for the rest of that specific piece of media as long as the fights are good.. FORTUNATELY FOR ME rotmhs is crazy good at balancing its comedy, action, and otherwise more ‘mundane’ scenes together so harmoniously that its such fun read even when theres no swords crossing or heads being beaten in
also important to note, despite being a knovel w korean naming of characters/places, rotmhs actually takes place in ancient china in a wuxia setting so jumping head first into it wont be all that confusing for first time readers/cmedia fans and u can use ur knowledge of cnovels to fill in the gaps.
theres not really much more i have to say on the topic of fighting, im just personally a huge fan of the crazy spectacles rotmhs brings to the table.
saved this for last but THE COMEDY…!!!!!!!! after being soo dramatic w all my previous points and comments ur probably thnkng rotmhs is heavy and somber w no breathing room.. WELL YOURE WRONG. ROTMHS IS FUNNY AS HELL quips and jokes and simple funny actions and scenes litter nearly every page. i mentioned this novel balances its action and comedy well and im NOT LYING youd think maybe the heavy action and light comedy would awkwardly clash but u cldnt be more further from the truth.. rotmhs wears action and comedy like a pair of twin gloves
rotmhs handles its action and comedy in equal doses and it all fits together like matching puzzle pieces, like i really cant stress enough how fun it is to read. not every fight scene is somber, most of the time its chung myung oneshotting someone by hitting them across the head so hard they pass out..
unfortunately im not really the best at listing instances so its be better for u to go read it for urself but this scene from one of the later chapters is soo funny every time i read it i start giggling
(LIGHT/MINOR SPOILERS FOR THE NOVEL it probably doesnt even matter u wont even remember this when u start reading)
right so i think thats most of it.. too lazy to read through everything i just wrote so if nothing makes sense… well. …well!
rotmhs deserves to have the same amount of fame as ORV and MDZS and TGCF have and it is my civil duty as one of the oldest mxtx novel outlets on tumblr to put yall on it..
my thumbs hurt from typing so im done now but if u have anymore questions PLEASE ASK IM SO DESPERATE TO TALK ABOUT ROTMHS ok byyyeeeeeeee
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Who are your fav characters, and why ? And favourit ship/s ?
Eeeeek finally getting round to this lovely ask by the smartiest @imabitchforjemcarstairs hehehe
I have answered this lovely q, and here is the link for the full unhinged answer for the "why" them, hehe.
But the TLDR just for fire rapid answers is:
Favourite characters:
Alastair
Will/Tessa (tie)
Thomas
Matthew
Kitty and Jessa tie
Malec (if allowed a sixth place)
Top Ships:
Thomastair
Wessa
Kitty
Jemma
Malec
(lots of cheating with the ties, but im going to be honest, i can't choose frfr)
Now to enjoy this read and not make and make this answer half assed, I will be original and give my two cents on the topic of Wessa vs. Jessa i haven't had the time to chat about until now. So technically you didn't ask for this lol but i feel like we love Jem and this is a perfect opportunity to give an essay responce on the whole shindig :)
So scooch in for me @imabitchforjemcarstairs we need a chat ;) .
On the topic of Jessa vs. Wessa vs. Herongraystairs in TID:
I think I liked them a lot especially in TID, but i think that the lack of Jem POV makes it hard to really understand what's going inside in his head. And i think the relationship as a ship in writing, suffers from it, especially when we have Will's POV. And that rather, the decisions that 'metamorph' in their relationship is out of Jessa's hands, but a response to the events CC convienently plops in, not allowing any of these three characters decided eyes wide open their fate. Which imo, is a cop out. Let's breakdown the sneaky manipulative writing CC did ;)
I recently reread TID (for about the 10th time now, as one does during the christmas season lol) and found that even during the Herongraystairs arc, it felt like the writing gave more bonding and more to Wessa than Jessa. I call this in romance novels the, "convincing period", where the author in those formative chapters has to convince the reader that these two individuals should be in a ship. CC convinced us on Wessa bc they were into each other since day 0 when Will saved her from the Twin sisters, had so many hobbies in common and shared the same common struggles of figuring out who they want to be in this world (Will struggling w/ his identity and curse and Tessa as a weird hybrid warlock who constantly gets gaslit her who life). So the convincing is done well there i think we can all agree on that pretty easily.
For Jem and Tessa, it seems as if Tessa always defaulted to him because he was a failsafe from Will. And i don't mean that negatively, but in that, he was brilliant, light, elegant, poised and studied and that is literally sexy as hell lol. LIKE COME ON, HE MADE MUSIC ON HIS VIOLIN FOR HERRR. THAT'S HELLA ROMANTIC. And is very "show don't tell" when it comes to his love, my fav trope. He is very clear, which at the time, was the opposite of Will. So that in of itself is attractive to Tessa. But it's a canon event, that she went into the engagement collaterally in book 2, bc Will constantly kept deflecting what they had. She wouldn't have explored a relationship with Jem, if it weren't for Will's deflections. This is literally a canon event. And Tessa wanted to explore what she had with Jem bc he was very decided and less flakey than Will. Which tbh makes utter sense to me!
But as you can see, later on, once Jem leaves the silent brothers, the way i interpreted this is that, Jem and Tessa became a thing bc of the history they have, the loyalty they have to the trio friendship group and bc Tessa doesn't have Will anymore. It's giving very much "begin again" by Taylor Swift Vibes (not too much but yk kinda that aesthetic). And what I'm trying to say, is that I read the Jessa relationship at a disadvantage when up against Wessa. I think CC would have benefited writing Jessa and Wessa independent, and not collaterally contigent on the happenings of what was going on with the status of the other relationship. And then, on Wessa's side in response to Jem leaving for the Silent Brothers, they didn't want to get together in Book 3, bc Will didn't want to take his best mate's girl away bc his best mate never asks anything of Will and he's also high key dying.
It’s unfair that Wessa happened bc Will felt like there was a curse which gave way for Jessa’s engagement, and conversely, it’s unfair that Wessa only got together once the silent brothers made Jem one of them. So again, the autonomy of these characters are not happening 'authentically' but are happening bc of circumstances.
There is also the accidental (ig) trope that Jem with his illness he was given which in political theory we call, “the children are dying” trope. Which means, you give blanket equity or veto power to someone irrespective of the context of deserving because they are “closer to death” than anyone else. This is THE DRIVING FORCE, of why everyone acts the way they do around poor Jem and it drives him, and us the readers crazy, rightfully so. Jem and Will become friends, not because Will at first fr liked Jem as a person or thought he was a talented shadowhunter, but “because he was dying”, blanket permission for friendship. Tessa was kind to Jem at first because, you guessed it, blanket permission because he is closer to death than she is. They get engaged despite not knowing each other for a long time, conveniently for Jem because, yes, he’s close to death. So much of autonomy is once again stripped from characters around Jem, because most of their actions are respective to his illness. Which is polite, lovely, but it rightfully upsets Jem because he is still a person. Not a a make a wish kid nor a charity case. This was touched on briefly when he said he didn’t want a nurse out of Tessa but a wife. This wasn’t morally delved into deeply save for Tessa’s answer “no I fr like u dude wdym” but than her actions proceed to default back to the “children are dying” complex around him. And we’re only freed from this trope finally once Jem has lived basically the immortal life and is a very changed person after silent brotherhood.
So WTF to do right? Seems like CC built up amazing grounds and complications in these characters, but what to do right? How can she wrap this up in a nice bow? Well CC went naturally via the occam's razor route, which is: Jem becomes a literal monk giving him 'immortality', so circumstantially, the only option JUST SO HAPPENS that Will and Tessa can be together. Again, its not a decision Tessa makes, its a problem that solves itself for Tessa. She goes with Will for now, and maybe in the future, she will go with Jem if he ever leave the silent brothers.
Which again, imo is a bit of a cop out. But CC didn't allow Tessa to put her big girl panties and choose a man. But one thing is clear, which is CC didn't write Will and Jem equal from the start. And it is very clear that Will was written from the beginning as the forbidden love and chosen one. Which is extremely unfair to Jem bc there is so much we could have learned and gained from a Jem pairing that DIDN'T happen bc of the circumstances of Wessa not working out. I truly think that Jem was written with an unfair disadvantage. Like i said, One bc his POV hasn't ever been explored that well. and Two, bc all of Tessa's choices weren't made bc she willed them, but bc CC wrote the circumstances in to take away the choice for her.
Now what I do think is right, is that Jessa, both being immortal are together later on in Shadowhunter Canon. I love Mina and I love what they can be for each other. They make each other happy. And for anyone who says that you can have only 1 love in ur life has a very romantic judeo-catholic view on things XD. U can have many loves in ur life, and each of them can be independent from each other. Love is not mutually exclusive. How is it that you can love unbundently and feel equal love for your multiple pets and children, but not find it in yourself to love more than 2 men? It is entirely possible. And so I do think there is room for Jessa, even if Wessa happened first. And I don't think it is disrespectful or cheating to remarry or find another love after one has ended.
I read criticism about them and how they don't live up to the same version as they were in TID, but i think living hundreds of years does that to you. And i don't think it's the fault of anyone in the pairing to 'bring out' the best in the other, but they can also be very changed people from when they were young. This criticism that they aren't great together later on in life is rooted in their own way of dealing with immortality AND THEN each other. I think what is a pity is that it isn't explored as well as Magnus's immortality has shaped his life which i think again, puts Jessa at a disadvantage. Magnus' continuity as I explained before is given a wider girth than Jessa which is why he is my preferred immortal. But then again, what would Magnus do, if he was immortal forever with his ship? He would be a very changed person he wouldn’t be his own comedic relief that’s for sure. In fact, Camille was not wrong when she said that immortality changes your relationship greatly. Where she fucked up was treating poor babygirl Magnus like shit just in general lol, and being immortal doesn't mean u have to be an asshole. I think immortality truly did a number on Jem and Tessa, irrespective of each other and has not a lot to do with Jem or how he treats her, but a lot about how how Tessa and Jem are quite literally a hundreds of year old great grandma and gramdpa hahahahaha.
But if Will were still alive or immortal like Tessa, would Tessa still be with him now that she has the option of being with Jem forever? Again, we are stripped away from that option because the circumstances decided over the characters. But I do think she would still chose Will.
Final question is, would Herongraystairs actually work? The answer in CC's eyes and again, the occam's razor answer is obviously 'yes'. In fact Tessa herself in Book 3 said it is entirely possible to be in love with 2 people at once and I think poly relationships are a beautiful thing. But is it the easiest and first answer, or is it the TRUE answer? Again, that we will never know bc Tessa's decisions on this matter are in response to the environment she is in, not because she truly believes it.
It is very clear that Will is written all across Tessa's mind in Book 1, and is what she thinks about 24/7. There were times where i was like, "girl just go up to him and JUST EXPLODE UR FEELS ON HIM UR GIVING ME A HEADACHE". But the plot just so conveniently every time they had a moment alone, would get 'interrupted' and the moment was gone. Only after in response to this mess of a situationship, did she go for Jem bc of his ease and what he represented (which we talked about before^) but it wasn't equally organic. It was in response to what happened with Will. Truly we all know, that Tessa would not have even considered Jem, if Will and Tessa decided to be a couple and engage by book 1. And I hate that Jessa read to me as second best, instead of a true, equal 1st place like Wessa. Which is would have to be, in order to have a Herongraystairs. I don't like that CC made Jessa collateral, but tbh i think she didn't know how to chose in the making of TID. So instead of choosing or rewriting the relationship so that both ships were dealt with equally, she made the events of the plot decide for the characters instead.
In defence of CC, a lot of our lives happens in response to our surroundings and circumstances instead of pure Free Will. Which might ironically make Jessa and Wessa and Herongraystairs even more realistic than maybe the idyllic cleanly chosen choices. Life moves fast and we can barely respond to it in time. And what matters most at the end, is that all three of these characters love each other dearly and would be there for each other no matter what. However, the way the plot was almost TOO conveniently choosing everything instead of the characters making hand on heart choices, swings us back to being a bit too unrealistic.
I truly, really love Jessa and I would marry Jem myself lol, but I really disliked the way it wasn't dealt with fairly. I am happy that they end up together at the end, I just didn't like the way they went about it. I would be more sold on Herongraystairs if it was dealt with more evenly instead of the other side of the poly v, instead of being collaterally contingent to the happenings of Wessa. Who knows, CC said that Jessa will re-encounter Will again and not in shadowhunter heaven so i wonder if there is any ability to clean this all up. But bc of the way CC wrote Jessa over how i WISHED she wrote them, Jessa is not in the top 5 ships for me unfortunately. It's def top 10 (and for sure over Clare lol) probablly like 7th place but not top 5. I think there are other relationships in the Shadowhunter fandom that are written a lot more cleanly where the characters are given by CC more autonomy in their choices which makes it easier to follow along. Not to mention get their POVs.
I cannot wait for your own lovely essay on our fav Jem @imabitchforjemcarstairs ! I hope my re-mentioning of it doesn't come across as antsy or like i'm trying to 'remind you' passively lol. Which would be awfully rude. As you can tell, I took my time to reply to this one :). My intention is one of pure excitement, fandom-ing over it and showing support.
art credit: @giannyfili on instagram
#phew wrote this for over an hour!#i hope it was worth the read!#even though this is literally NOTHING u asked for#literally who asked Emma#don’t take a shot every time I say ‘collaterally contingent’ bc u will be drunk by the end of the essay lol#but we have talked about it before! And i finally found the time to give you my unsolicited two thoughts on our favs :)#Justice for Jessa lol#not anti-Jessa just want a better written Jessa#shadowhunters#not anti-jessa#I love jessa#just want a better WRITTEN jessa#Wessa is baby girl tho#muah
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I feel like miscommunication works very well when it’s from a fundamental personality conflict or missing information - so often fanfics just decide that a miscommunication is going to happen and then have the characters angst over things that are so jarring that they really would demand some follow up
100% agree! esp if its a longer fic, you really need to be thinking abt how the miscommunication fits with your characters, and with your themes as well. if you dont set up good reason why those characters are miscommunicating, then you wont have any pay off emotionally speaking.
this is all especially true in fanfic, theres no will-they-wont-they tension. we already know they will, so the main interest as a reader is seeing the issue you already know exists resolved, and the way that the characters are explored through that. compare that with regular romance stories, where youll often have a couple of romantic rivals, and where readers dont already have that familiarity with any of the characters.
when a person reads an original romance novel, theyre looking at things through the eyes of the protag, which helps them to buy into the miscommunication. this all helps to keep up the tension, to make readers wonder whats going to happen next, and how.
in fanfic, on the other hand, you kind of automatically look at it from both sides, bc even if the story's being told from one pov, you have a good guess at the other. imo, fanfic writers need to be aware of that, and to account for it. even in original fic its obviously better to have the miscommunication make sense and engage w broader themes and character development, but theres definitely a little more space.
that said, i think theres far more leeway if the miscommunication is either comedic in nature or not particularly central to the story. in a comedy, the miscommunication has no need to hold up to in the readers mind - the farcical nature of it can be the point. meanwhile, the less central the miscommunication plotline, the less you need to justify it. the issue starts when the whole fic depends on the emotional impact of meaningless miscommunication, and resolves by literally one convo that couldve happened straight away.
anyhow sorry for how long this got. imagine me answering promptly and briefly hgkhfgj
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For End of the Year Writing Meme: All the questions sound super interesting so just use this as an opportunity to answer whatever questions interest you most
So funny story I put this in my drafts to complete in the quiet time of New Year’s Day, but then I forgot about it completely. BRACE YOURSELF.
A. If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of your fics, what would you pick? Why?
Lies by Marina and the Diamonds, to accompany the latter half of Valse Melancolique. It’s a really good song to show Irene’s POV at that point, especially her reluctance to accept that the webs she’s spun are basically collapsing around her.
“I just want it to be perfect / To believe it’s all been worth the fight,” is the most relevant set of lyrics, IMO.
B. Who’s your favourite side-character from something you wrote?
I really enjoyed writing side characters like Rose and Finn, though Rose just edges it because I’ve been enjoying writing her in Don’t Complicate It. Finn runs a very close second.
C. Get any good comments on your stuff this year?
Sure! All comments are good comments, let’s be real. Unless they’re an obvious troll comment or those “update now!!!” kind of comments. Those aren’t so good.
D. Any drawings or pictures that had a big influence on your writing?
The artwork of the late 18th century and Roberto Ferri definitely influenced the tone of Valse Melancolique. Many scenes from certain stories were driven by a single image I had in my head as well.
E. Who’s your favourite main character you’ve written?
Though I do enjoy delving into Ben/Kylo’s psyche, I enjoy writing Rey more – she’s more enclosed, and I love chipping away at characters to get to their truths.
G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?
Towards the end of the year, I began to realise that writing can actually be fun like it used to be. I’ve been so aware of the way the world is currently that I’ve been convincing myself that my writing must have a message, or it’s not ‘worthy’. I need to understand that I started writing not to pass on any morals or messages, but as a release and a way to find enjoyment in the constant buzz.
H. How do you write? Paper, pen, computer? Music, no music?
All of those. I write on my phone, on my computer, on pen and paper. Music and no music, it depends. Most often I’m listening to a playlist/album which then stops and I cease writing an hour or so later realising I’ve been writing in silence.
I. What’s your favourite work you did this year? Why?
I’m always tempted to answer this kind of question with my most recent story. But I’m going to be really honest and say that star among the stars is a personal favourite. And it’s not just because of the pegging.
J. What are the best jokes you told this year? Any jokes you thought were funny that people didn’t catch? Vice-versa?
I’m completely blanking on this one.
K. Who have you killed this year? Why did they have to die?
Qui-Gon Jinn (to match with canon), Molly and Sherlock (hey it was a story based on Dangerous Liaisons, and I was reading classical Russian literature at the time of plotting) and Kylo Ren a bunch of times (metaphorically).
L. Which character did you most write about this year, and why do you like ‘em?
I wrote more about Rey. As mentioned before, it’s because I like chipping away at a character’s surface but also it’s because I really relate to her, especially in regards to her feelings of loneliness and her tendency to put on ‘a brave face’. Plus I really admire her compassion and her strength. I envy it.
M. Meta! Have any meta about a story you’re dying to throw out there?
Not particularly -- just headcanons and reasons behind why I write what I write. (I’ve never been very good with meta anyway.) I really like it when other people meta my fic, or pick up on something I didn’t! That is an AMAZING feeling.
O. Do you believe in outlines? Show us one!
I do indeed! I love my outlines. For some projects, I’ve got whole folders with docs labelled Initial Ideas, Plot Summary, Chapter Outline, etc. etc. I’ve got my notes app on my phone stuffed up to the gills with mini-outlines. I frequently use my story structure template, which is technically more for screenplays, but the breaking down into acts thing helps my brain figure things out.
P. What are your pet peeves in other people’s work?
When an author relies too much on UST and ruins the pacing. Like, an author drags out the first getting together because they believe that the anticipation is the only thing generating comments. If it’s right to have them bang, have them bang! The awkward morning after is a delicious opportunity for UST -- just a different kind. 9 times out of 10, your readers are there not for the smut because they’re invested in the story and like your writing.
Q. Quote three bits of writing you read this year. Can be your writing, or not.
Let’s mix it up.
“ “Why did you do that?” he demanded as they ducked into a side alley. “What part of ‘keep a low profile’ is difficult for you to understand?”
“I’m a good haggler,” Rey said through a full mouth. She didn’t have any idea what she was eating, and she didn’t care. It took so much effort to chew each bite instead of gulping it down whole. “He was trying to cheat us.”
“You didn’t haggle. You pushed.”
“I did not. Why would I knock him over in the middle of his stand?”
Kylo just stared. “You need a teacher,” he muttered. He watched her eat for a moment, his expression somewhere between thoughtful and disgusted, before taking a bite from one of his own skewers. Disgust won out. ” -- Symmetry and Black Tar by audreyii_fic. (Grumpy smuggler Kylo Ren, spunky scavenger Rey, canon divergence. Excellent.)
“ "Ben," Rey breathes once Kylo's mere inches away. It's the name Luke introduced him with, the only name she knows him by, and he's never bothered to correct her. Why hasn't he corrected her? The question flees from his mind as she closes her eyes and he leans down into the space between them, kissing her full on the lips. It's not gentle, he doesn't know how to be, but she opens for him the way the flowers she loves so much bloom in the sunlight. ” -- the surface of last scattering by diasterisms. (It’s the apocalypse, it’s exactly the right time to meet the love of your life, right? Read for utter devastation.)
“ Rey could spend hours in the Falcon’s inner workings. She’d spent so much time in the belly of hollowed-out Star Destroyers, which were horrific remnants of old worlds, cold and grey. The Falcon is alive, speaking a strange language she’s just about half-deciphered. Sometimes, on days where she misses the connection most and dreams of a boy reaching across the stars to find her, it feels like the Falcon doesn’t want to speak to her. It shuts down. Sparks spit at her, and mechanisms develop odd faults.Today, a jet of steam blows directly in her face, not harmful, but almost like a snarl of 'go away'.
Rey climbs out of the hatch, fetching tools. She works with that fault first.
“I’m not thinking about him,” she promises to no-one but the ship she’s looking after. ” -- If I was born as a blackthorn tree, by me!
R. If you had to rewrite one of your stories from scratch, which one would it be? What would you do to it?
Going to cheat here and head back to 2017. I’d rewrite Two Stars Aligned. What I’d probably do is make it a post-TLJ fic, where Rey and Ben decide to run away after getting involved in a secret relationship, but get shot down by the First Order -- after landing in Giaca, they become embroiled in Game of Thrones style politics and the ruling families, while the Resistance and the First Order conduct searches for them. I’d cut out the weird Force shit and make the redemption arc thing more organic by giving the whole story room to bloody breathe. Two Stars Aligned is actually the reason why I now try to stick to oneshots for exchanges and any anthologies I get involved in.
S. What’s the sexiest thing you wrote this year?
Sexiest thing written in 2018... It’ll have to be the pegging in star among the stars.
T. Themes, motherfucker, do you have them? What are they?
Feminism. Females being allowed to be as fucked-up and broody as the men they love, and perhaps, even broodier. Make women afraid of commitment, 2k19.
U. Any stories that took an abrupt U-turn from where you thought they were going?
If I were a blackthorn tree took a pleasing turn away from the initial outline. The initial idea was lots of secret trysts and stuff like that, but I much prefer the quiet romance with a note of hope at the end that it turned out to be.
V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks.
Huh. Hm. Don’t Complicate It is turning out to be kind of fun to write; when I’m not allowing myself to be crippled by the brain goblins that is (they’re strong lately). It’s a combo of writing a trope/kink I’ve been wanting to write for ages -- A/B/O -- and remembering that it’s okay to have fun with it.
W. Who are your favourite writers?
@kylo-wouldnt-like-those-chips - @conchepcion (every time I think I’m out, she pulls me back in *shakes fist*) - @introspectivenavelgazer - @audreyii-fic - @kylorenvevo - ambiguously - @fettuccine-alfreylo and SO MANY MORE (this post is long enough already!!)
X. What’s your least favourite work of this year?
My least favourite has to be In Cars. It was an ambitious idea, which I didn’t really fulfil, I feel. Curse of being a perfectionist. I want something to be amazing. World-changing! Tear-jerking! I want Vestal virgins to weep golden tears over my words, already delicately transcribed onto ancient parchment by monks. Obviously, that’s an impossible standard, but I can’t help being cross when I don’t reach it.
Y. Why did you write? For fun, for a friend, for acclaim?
During 2018? Mostly for acclaim. It made 2018 a very difficult year for writing, and just a difficult year in general. I’m trying to make sure I have fun during 2019 with this stuff. Striving for perfection is a punishing task that no-one can ever accomplish because perfection doesn’t exist. Contentment does, though. As does happiness. And those should be more important.
Z. If you could choose one work and immediately finish it, what would it be? How would you end it?
I’d finish Sanctum, my priest Kylo fic. I’m split between continuing or rewriting anyway (the rewrite would include relocating the action to the medieval era, around the time Luther wrote that damned essay and pinned it to the church door). But I do know the exact image I want to finish on, which will remain whether I end up rewriting or not. It involves a name, a scrap of material and a rather fetching colour scheme.
Ooh. Cryptic.
#anonymous#answered#end of the year#did i just answer all these q's?#yes#i did#my ego is MASSIVE and i'm so sorry for that#long post for ts
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2. BELARUS
Naviband - “Story of my life”
17th place
youtube
ALL ABOARD THE NAVI NAUTILUS!!! WITH A HEY HEY HEY AND A YA YA YA YA HO WE SAIL ON A OCEAN OF ADORABLE.
It was so poetic that the first two songs revealed for this mixed bag of a year were also one of the best and worst, respectively. It was more than “being better than Tako” that drew me to Naviband though. After the Pharrellapocalypse of 2013, I’ve become really picky w/r/t “Happyness Anthems” (”clap along if you feel like a room w/o a roof” a of all um what that doesn’t even make sense? b of all, stfu you suck!!!), still I was SWEPT by Xenia’s cutesy, adorable dance routine and the rest is HERSTORY (Q: is there anything about Naviband which isn’t cutesy and adorable? A: no)
Before I delve further into why I think Naviband are awesome, I’d like to point out some statements I’ve heard from... “haters”. Well not EXACTLY haters because I haven’t come across anyone who *dislikes* sitting through “Story of my life” (because lol how *can* you hate these earth angels, like swallowing with your eyes open or being attracted to Milan Stankovic, it’s physically impossible) but because Naviband are firmly positioned on the “Light” side of Ethnic Entry spectrum, they were OF COURSE greeted with the necessary contempt by Value Seekers:
“REALLY, IS “HAPPINESS” THEIR SELLING POINT? THAT’S SO SHALLOW”
“LOL THEY’LL NEED ALL THE RIGGING THEY CAN GET TO MAKE IT TO THE FINALE. HEY HEY HAYAYAYA HO HA HA HA HA”
“YEAH, THEY’RE FINE BUT NOT FINALE FINE :-/”
“THIS IS NOTHING SPECIAL, I’VE HEARD THIS BEFORE”
or as one Belgian newspaper article put it (translated as closely as I could)
“Riding the wave of “Hey Hey Hayaya Ho”, the Belarussians managed to steer their hovercraft into an iceberg of indifference”
Eh? I sort of get the general line of thought (honestly the above sentence is roughly how I would have written it had I agreed), but I don’t follow it at all. To me, it sounds like people are fabricating excuses to not like it. Debunk time.
1) Joy is not an inferior emotion. Yes, it’s arguably the simplest emotion on the spectrum, but given how *difficult* it is to be *truly* happy, I think shrugging it off as lesser or invaluable is classisist bullshit or the work of jealous bitter people.
2) “Story of my life” isn’t just about “happiness”. Happiness doesn’t just *happen* on its own and unless you’re, like, a living Pixar Character, there has to be a *reason* for feeling that way. Likewise, while Navi relied on their feelgood-vibe to carry them, the underlining story is that of the love between Artiom and Xenia themselves. They love each other so much, that the glow in each other’s eyes brightens their life’s stories. They sing this WHILE LOOKING EACH OTHER IN THE EYE. My heart MELTS like a wax candle at the sight of that. Two beautiful, pristine unicorns of human beings <3
3) “Story of my life” has more depth than it lets on. The translated lyrics show that “story of my life” has fairly poetic, if simple lyrics. Both the blessing and the curse of poetry is that you can take it at face value or analyze it deeply, depending on how you’re feeling at the moment. In other words, the person who decides how deep or valuable it truly is, is the reader themselves. (hence why “too shallow” reeks of elitism and politics and i never buy it as a reason to dislike this sort of entry). The message itself is straight-forward, but that’s only a good thing imo; makes it easier to establish a connection and melt the language barrier.
4) Emotions are always a hard sell and happiness is the hardest of all. Salvador *was* right in that pure emotion is incredibly important. However it can’t be stated enough that emotions can’t be force-fed down your throats. It has to come from the *heart*, pacemakered or not. Try to fake happiness for instance and you get this:
(GET OVER IT, Jacques, nobody bought it and all your votes were for the lolz only)
try to fake love and you achieve this:
(GET OVER IT, Alex, she will never sleep with you)
Meanwhile, Naviband take us on a magical hovercraft journey through their LYF, singing and dancing and Ha Ya Ya Yo-ing their way through all of its candyfloss-like nooks and crannies. It all feels so real and genuine because it *is* (lest we forget, Xenia & Artiom *are* an irl-couple and this *is* the love story of their *IRL* romance put to music.) Candyfloss is the best way to describe this entry, I think. It’s colourful, sweet and festive, if simple. Naviband never pretended to be anything other than what they are (two upbeat people who love each other) and I find that a charming quality.
5) Simplicity is generally a good thing, especially if you sing in your own language. You have three minutes to convince a live audience you’re the best of 26. if you’re singing in NotEnglish, this can be a challenge, so you’re best left using your strengths and not overtly complicate shit. Naviband succeeded, hence why they didn’t too bad. (I don’t think anyone would argue with this? That we’re going to Lisbon next year and not Turin just proves this as an uncontested fact, tbh.)
In other words, anyone who still doesn’t appreciate Naviband after reading this... our universes are so divergent, they’ll simply never ever align on this plane or the next one. (but thanks for reading anyway ^__^)
Even with all of that, we’re still at the tip of the Iceberg? Both live performances are littered with little, cute moments that I’ve tried to gif and some which I couldn’t, such as this crazed Lithuanian frump from the semifinal who was sooooo into it:
Spirit animal/totem of love/child of the moon/ruler of the sun, etc.
In conclusion, what a fantastic ending to a true underdog arc. Navi had to sit through a really difficult semifinal with no allies, snobistic eurofans who tried to paint them with the Basic Brush and you know, the usual stigma of being from BELARUS, but still scraped through the finale (Ukraine handing them a free 24 points <3) because of their unfiltered goodness, to finish in a respectable THIRTEENTH place with the audience from slot #03, which is generally one the weaker starting positions. They placed ahead of ARTSVIK and DEMY lmfao <3 They may not have won this ranking, but they have WON hearts!! Hey! Hey! Hayayahoooooo~
Decade rank: 22/324
THE 2017 RANKING SO FAR:
-ADORE-
1.
2. Belarus (22/324)
3. Macedonia (28/324)
4. Norway (29/324)
5. Lithuania (43/324)
6. Hungary (47/324)
-LOVE-
7. Moldova (55/324)
8. Italy (61/324)
9. the Netherlands (63/324)
10. United Kingdom (67/324)
11. Finland (68/324)
12. Estonia (71/324)
13. Azerbaijan (84/324)
14. Latvia (87/324)
15. Israel (93/324)
-LIKE-
16. Bulgaria (100/324)
17. Portugal (105/324)
18. Croatia (115/324)
19. Austria (119/324)
20. France (138/324)
21. Poland (154/324)
22. Armenia (158/324)
23. Romania (164/324)
-OKAY-
24. Iceland (174/324)
25. Ukraine (190/324)
26. San Marino (203/324)
27. Albania (217/324)
28. Denmark (228/324)
29. Spain (237/324)
30. Cyprus (240/324)
-DISLIKE-
31. Germany (258/324)
32. Montenegro (263/324)
33. Sweden (270/324)
34. Serbia (275/324)
35. Australia (280/324)
36. Switzerland (286/324)
37. Czech Republic (288/324)
38. Malta (291/324)
-HATE-
39. Georgia (301/324)
40. Greece (303/324)
41. Slovenia (307/324)
42. Ireland (312/324)
#Eurovision#Eurovision Song Contest#Eurovision 2017#Belarus#Navi#Naviband#Story of my life#Historija majho zyccia#Hey hey hayayayayaho
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