Can I forget just who I think I am? Can I remember when I forced the wind? Can you believe I let my soul retire?

woah you're reopening requests! can i request chuuya who gets into a fight with their s/o? maybe s/o cries, maybe chuuya accidentally hurts her, maybe one of them threatens to leave? you get to choose what type of fanfic it would be (oneshot, drabble, headcanons). also, hurt/comfort!

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 — 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚

◊ A/N: ayy ariel writes again!! and yes my coming back from my writing hiatus had to be chuuya angst >:)

◊ Genre: Angst to Comfort

◊ Pairing: Chuuya Nakahara x GN!Reader

◊ Word Count: 0.9k

A blanketed mass of rain and hail tarnished the frozen ground. You could see the weather crying its heart out for another. Perhaps the sun was its lover and they had battled ferociously the previous night. Leaning against the windowpane, you felt the chilled glass freeze your cheek and mark the condensation.

The door opened and Chuuya appeared. He reeked of booze and it stung your nostrils. Staggering into the apartment, he didn't once glance at you. Perhaps too engrossed in finding another bottle of liquor in the kitchen. Days like this were rough for both of you. After a brutal mission, or (at least in the past) after the usage of Arahabaki, Chuuya tended to get lost in his own little world.

You heard a glass shatter and the blunt thud of a fist hitting the wall. Standing, you strode towards the kitchen, anger, and sympathy boiling in your lungs.

"Chuuya! What the hell happened?"

The redheaded mafioso looked up from the glass shards to stare at you. There was a cold, icy look in his eyes that could have easily matched the weather outside.

"None of your business," he muttered.

This time he looked away as if looking at you would sober him up.

"Chuuya, please, you've been like this for three days. I know your mission-"

"You don't know shit!" Chuuya spat. You wanted to gag at the stench of sharp alcohol radiating from him or at least flinch from the strength in his ever-trembling voice.

"Stop fucking pretending like you know what it's like to lose the lives of people who put their trust in you."

A fire had been set ablaze in his icy eyes. You stepped back.

"I don't know, but I'm trying to understand what you're going through anyways." You swallowed thickly, praying he wouldn't do something reckless.

"Then don't fucking try. I don't need your fake sympathy and concerned looks."

Tears welled up in the corners of your eyes. Swallowing again, you hoped they would disappear on their own.

"Look, just stop drinking, at least. You're not yourself when you drink and act like... this."

Chuuya's eyes narrowed, and his grip on the bottle seemed close to shattering it.

"Like what?" He spoke in a low menacing tone that sent chills down your spine. "Come on! Say it! What the hell do you think I act like? Oh for fuck's sake, Y/n, stop fucking crying!"

At that moment you had slammed your head against the kitchen cabinet. Your hands trembled clutching onto the edge of the counter while your lower back was pressed up against it. You didn't realize how close he had gotten now. His glare pierced your watery gaze and for a brief second the hardened look in his expression was the cold stare of a violent mafioso, not the sweet, confident lover you adored. He had backed you up against the kitchen counter, almost daring you to fight back.

Instead, your head throbbed at the dripping pain seeping from the spot your head had impacted the cabinet. You just stared at him in terrified awe and horror.

Your voice came out soft and downtrodden; broken and cracky. "Just... Oh, you're so..."

With that, Chuuya was shoved aside and watched you run down the hallway crying. Chuuya blinked, realizing the bottle he had been clutching onto had crackled and broken. Blood beaded out, dripped down his palm to his fingers, then to the glass shards on the floor.

Ah, he had fucked up.

Chuuya let out a sobering breath. "Shit."

At the harsh 'goodbye' of the bathroom door slamming, he winced, sinking to the ground of the kitchen, head in his hands. Bitterly, he could hear the soft sobs of your voice leading from the lonely bathroom down the hall. He hated to think that he was the cause of it. His stomach churned and regret filled his lungs. He choked and suffocated from it, burning a hole in his heart.

He knew it wasn't your fault. That you could only wish and hope to imagine the things that he'd been through. Picking himself up off the kitchen floor, he quietly trudged to the bathroom door. He didn't dare touch the doorknob, instead simply leaning against the door.

Chuuya called your name softly. Your sobs quieted but stayed a broken record in the background. Chuuya swallowed down the prying tears.

"I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have... I know you were just..." No, none of those words felt right. Then again, Chuuya was never good with his words.

"If you don't get those words out, I'll leave you," you sniffled from the other side. From the tone of your voice, Chuuya caught the lies. He knew you wouldn't do as you said. But the light threat still made his throat close.

"I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on you... It's not your fault. It'll never be your fault. I know you're just trying to help me. I swear I love you more than anything else in the world."

The lock clicked and there you stood in front of him. Your glassy eyes shone with tears and Chuuya reached forward to wipe them away with his thumb whilst cupping your face gently.

"I know you're struggling with things. But you can always come to me like I do you. I'm here to help you, so don't say... things like that." Your voice trembled and Chuuya's heart nearly shattered.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he kissed your fears away; In doing so, silently promising to do better because for you he'd change the moon and stars.

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Curry and Mochi

Dazai x Fem reader 💌 ⛅Fluff/Angst⛅ Mention of death 🏳 A/N : You guys liked Fluffy Chuuya⁉ Here have Dazai Angst 💕 (Sorry I swear I love him) 

It was that date again, May fourth.

To majority people, it was another day, nothing making it specials from the others.

Not to Dazai.

He can remember the day like yesterday. For the first time in his life he felt nervous. Silly it was, being nervous to ask a girl to be his only one. You had him wrapped your pretty finger, now days he'd shamelessly admit it. You gave him the yes while sheepishly playing with your fingers and rose tinted cheeks. With out a doubt that was the most important day in Dazai's life.

That's right, your anniversary.

Your anniversary was why he woke up early to make your favorites ; Curry and strawberry mochi. You always had such the biggest sweet tooth, never ate any actual food always eating strawberry mochi unless it was curry that Dazai made, It had to be made by him other wise you refused to eat it with a pout from across your face like a small child.

»»————-　　————-««

You sat at the table, swigging you legs back and forward while he served you a bowl of curry.

"I still don't understand, why you like the curry I make." He asked you while taking a set and serving a bowl for him self. He wasn't even a great cook, why chose his curry over all the others?

A smile found its way to your face while you inhaled the welcoming and comforting sent of the food before you. "easy, your taste way better, probably because you adds lots of love in it, don't you Osamu?"

He dramatically waved his arms in front of him "Of course I do Y/n! But you can't say these thing out of the blue, am a ruthless mafioso, I have a reputation to hold up!"

You took no care in what he just said and laughed while shaking your head "Oh Osamu, your so funny. Am so glad we met, my life would be like boring vase."

This time it was his turn to laugh "A boring vase?"

"Yeah, you know, those plain boring vases nobody ever buys. The ones thats stay for ages in the store" You said with such a straight face it jut humor him more.

"Hey y/n~" he loved saying your name, it was so pretty when he said it even made goose bumps raise all over the skin of his body.

"Yes Osamu?" you put your curry down and gave him that loving look only he would get from you.

"You know I love you right?" "Yeah, just as much as I love you."

»»————-　————-««

It was memories like those that made him feel like a lovesick boy again, falling for you over and over again but he couldn't help it. He finished packing everything into the picnic box you loved so much, the same one you used over and over again on all those endless picnic your insisted on going on, which he of course happily went along. He caught a glance of the time, almost noon already? He better get going. He take hold of picnic box in on hand and the bouquet of sunflowers get got you and took his leave. He hates being late even if it didn't upset you. You were such a kind and understanding person, such a caring and selfless natured person.

»»————-　————-««

"Oh Bella donna! Sorry for being late, just things got a little messy, and Chuuya was no help." He started to explain while walking toward where you were sitting. Every just before sunset you'd go to Yokohama port to watch the sun set into the ocean, and he'd join you as much as he could. It was a beautiful sight indeed, but it couldn't compare to you.

You turned around and greeted him with a smile so bright it could put the sun itself to shame. And the gold and pink lighting just made it more mesmerizing than before.

"Osamu, your here. I'm glad." He stood there and admired you for a little longer than he should of

You sweet laughter broke him his thought "Well don't just stand there, come here."

He smiled softly while snaking his arms around your wait, hugging you from behind and resting his chin on top your head. You leaned to his loving touch. and you repeated that little chant you two came up with.

"I loved you yesterday, Osamu"

"I loved you today Y/n"

"I'll love you forever"

"I'll love you till forever falls apart."

»»————-　————-««

That same soft smile remained on his face when he got to the spot. He checked his watch, yup right on time. He sat down and rested his back against the stone and laid the flowers next to it.

"Hey Dazai, who's grave are you visiting?." A familiar voice asked.

Dazai tilted his head back, a sad smile replacing his former one.

"What makes you think I am vising a grave Atsushi?"

Atsushi stood and thought for a moment "Well those flowers, the sunflowers you placed next to it maybe?"

Dazai nods "Can you tell me whos grave this is?"

"Y/n L/n.." Atsushi read from the grave.

"Bingo"

"You must of love her a lot right."

"Sure do, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her."

"Ah, I see, I'll go look for Mr. Kunikida now." Atsushi took a quick bow leaving.

Dazai slipped his hand into his coat pocket and pulled out a small box. He opened it and stared at the inside. It was a bracelet he bought over four years ago. It was a simple one truly. But it had his name engraved it along side yours. No it wasn't much but it represented much more than a shiny gold bracelet. It was a reminder, no matter where you were he'll always be with you.

And maybe he should tried to give it to you sooner but he dint know what you'd say. But his something always seemed to get in the way. He wished he could of had at least one more chance before it happen.

Your death, it was four years ago.

Four years for self blaming because it was his fault. If he's just kept you safe, If he'd just made sure no one knew about you You would of never become a target for a personal attack toward him. Then he would of never have found you badly wounded, Then you'd still be here with him

»»————-　————-««

He rocked you in him warm while holding you as close as he could. He knew based of your wounds you weren't going to live. All he could do was stay with you until your last breath. He tried to hide the shake of his bones, the tears threating to stream out his eyes.

" Osamu.." you said with a weak smile "Its okay..."

He didn't understand how you could say that. How was he supposed to see the light of day if you weren't going to be there. Anything he would never want to lose is always lost. It is given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment he's obtain it. There's nothing worth pursing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering. But for you he'd gladly go to hell and back.

With your last bit of strength you caressed his cheek and place of last kiss on his lip. Yes it was short but it held more meaning than any of the rest. It was a memory of start, a reminder of everything in between, and a farewell. Everything played in the back of his memory as your body went limp and cold in his arms.

»»————-　————-««

He let out a shaky breath and put the box back where it belonged, even after so long he couldn't bring himself to leave his home with out it. He knows one day he'll met the same fate, but part of him was glad this you didn't met more of this cruel world. Where you were now, eh was sure you had everything you deserved, everything he couldn't give you.

He felt his eyes started to burn and he laughed while smiling at your grave and stood up.

"Awe Y/n, look what you turned me into. Now I'm all soft and i even cook for you. Well I suppose that ruthless Mafioso act wasn't going to last long. Maybe house wife fits me better, what do you think?"

He waited, no response.

"Yeah maybe not. You know you would of loved Atsushi."

still not response

"You'd probably treat him as if he was your son or little brother."

He smiles sadly and his eyes soften.

"Same time next year? Curry and Strawberry mochi, right"

"I still love you."

He turns around and picks up the basket and arranges the flowers "Its alright, I know what you would of said any way."

Hey there! Can you right how S/o would comfort Chuuya and Dazai when she caught them crying? For chuuya, he thinks back when he was a member of the sheep and for Dazai, he thinks of Oda and his death?

OH THIS IS SAD, I LIKE WRITING SAD STUFF

(SAD BOI/GURL GANG)

I hope you enjoy!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Chuuya

You had told him that you were gonna go grocery shopping, and that’s when you first suspected something was wrong. He usually went with you, always so protective when it came to you leaving the house by yourself, but this time he just kissed your cheek and told you to be careful.

When you walked in you were shocked to see that he was still in the same spot as when you left, but he was curled into himself on the couch, his body shaking and he sobbed silently. He must not have heard you come in, he didn’t look up at all, or maybe he just didn’t care that you walked in on him crying, which wasn’t like him at all. He never cried, not even around you. You quickly set the bags down on the floor by the door and walked over to where he was sitting.

“Chuu, what’s wrong?” You asked quietly, taking a seat next to him. You didn’t touch him, not knowing whether he would accept it or not. You weren’t expecting him to fall over onto you, laying his head on your lap as he continued crying. You ran your fingers through his hair, letting him cry for a little longer before you asked anymore questions. You knew how hard it was to talk while crying, you had to just let him get it all out first.

“You know that group of kids we saw yesterday?” He asked, finally rolling over on your lap to look up at you. You nodded as you wiped away a stray tear from the corner of his eye. It was a small pack of seven or eight kids running around the streets, led by three older, maybe teenage year kids. “They just reminded me... so much of....” He couldn’t finish his sentence as he started to break down again.

“Hey, shhh.... Take your time, honey.” You crooned as he curled up in fetal position, burying his face into your stomach. You weren’t used to seeing him like this and it made your heart break. He seemed like a child in this state, and the only thing you could do was hold him for now until you found out what was wrong.

“They just made me think of my old friends. They betrayed me, but... I betrayed them.... It’s all that stupid Dazai’s fault. They were all I had though, when I had no one else, I had them. I just think back to when it was just me and the sheep....” He hiccuped as he finished his explanation, sniffling as he stared up at you with glossy tear framed eyes.

“It was easier then... yeah?” You asked. He hadn’t told you about the sheep, not even once. It was a part of his life that he usually didn’t dwell on, but seeing those children must have triggered memories that tore him apart inside.

“I guess... Not really, now that I think back. But back then, when it was just the sheep I felt like it was. They were real friends, we would look after each other, and I left them to work with the Port. I hated the Port Mafia then, I let them down. Am I a bad person?” He asked, and you quickly shook your head no. This was a completely different side of him, he seemed so... fragile. You leaned over to kiss his nose, then his forehead, then his lips.

“Chuuya, you are an amazing person. I don’t know much about what happened then, if you’d like to tell me about it I’ll gladly listen, but you must have done what you thought would be right. You always do what’s right. That’s why I trust you, that’s why everyone at the Port trusts you. You’re a great man.” You nodded to him and he weakly smiled and took a deep breath before finally sitting up. You stretched your legs and he sheepishly apologized.

“You really think that?” He asked, and you smiled back to him.

“I know that.” You said, and he leaned over to kiss you, deeper this time. You tasted the salt on his lips from the tears that had fallen earlier.

“I guess you’re right. If I hadn’t have left the sheep I wouldn’t have met you.” His hand slid to the back of your neck as he pressed his forehead against yours. “I’m so glad I met you Y/N...” You kissed his nose before you pulled back, he was smiling wider now, and the only sign that he had been crying were the red rims of his eyes and the glistening streaks on his cheeks where his tears had ran.

“I’m glad I met you too. Are you okay though?” It was still a shock to see him like that, and it worried you more than you’d let him know.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Now that you’re here, it’s alright.” He nodded and got up off the couch, smoothing out the wrinkles in his pants and walking over to the door to pick up the bags of groceries that you had dropped.

He acted as if the whole thing never happened, and you didn’t want to bring it up, knowing how much it hurt him to think of those things. He helped you prepare dinner, smiling the entire time, just having you there next to him was enough to brighten his mood. You usually feared that type of emotional responsibility, but with him it was different. You would do anything for him, even if it was just being there for him when he was surrounded by dark clouds, you would gladly do it.

Dazai

The golden brown and red leaves littered the ground and Dazai kicked through piles as the two of you walked through the streets. He wasn’t his usual self today, but you didn’t question his mood, you had no reason to. You knew exactly why he was acting this way, and you couldn’t blame him. Oda’s birthday was always a rough day for him, he would be silent the entire day, usually holing himself up inside and sulking. This was the first year that he had wanted to go to the cemetery, and you agreed to go with him, even if just for the emotional support that he might need.

He bought a small bouquet of flowers and held them in shaky hands as he walked up the stairs to Oda’s grave under the large tree. He brushed the leaved away from plot and dropped to the ground in front of the headstone.

“I’ll give you some time.” You said, leaning down to kiss the top of his head before walking away. You knew that it was what he would want, its what you would have wanted too if you were him.

As much as Dazai talked to you about Oda, you were never able to fully grasp how close the two actually were. Sure, they both worked in the same place, and they often went out at night to Lupins, but you weren’t aware of the deepness of their friendship.

You made your way back to the grave, slowly walking back up the stairs. Dazai was leaning against the tombstone, but you could hear him sniffling.

“Why did you have to leave?” Dazai asked as he stared up at the sky through the bare spots in the tree where the leaves had already fell. “You were my only friend. Are you... are you at least proud of me...?” A muffled sob escaped his lips and you took the final steps to be next to him.

“Dazai...” You whispered his name, kneeling down on the ground in front of him.

“I’m not crying.” He said quickly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. He tried to push himself up off the ground but you placed a hand on his leg to stop him, and he sighed.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, it’s okay to cry. If you’d like I can leave again.” You said, and you saw how hard he swallowed, trying to hold back his tears.

“Don’t leave. You don’t have to. He never got to meet you.” He mumbled, dropping his head into his knees.

“Well, I’ll introduce myself.” You said, and he peaked up at you from behind his legs. “Hi Oda, my name is Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you before, Dazai has told me so much about you. I hope you’re proud of him and watching him from wherever you are. He’s such a great man, and that’s all thanks to you.” You said, and Dazai finally broke. The tears rolled down his cheeks in streams, he couldn’t wipe them away fast enough.

“He would.... have.... loved you....” Dazai said between choked sobs and you felt the lump rising in your throat. “Do you.... think he’s p-proud of me?” He asked, looking at you with the saddest eyes and you felt the warmth of your own tears start to fall.

“I think he’s so proud of you Dazai.” You said, and a sudden gust of wind rushed by, sending the leaves circling around you, Dazai, and the tombstone. “It must be him, letting you know he’s here. He’s always with you Dazai, that’s how you have the strength to do what you’re doing. You changed, and you did it for him.” The leaves settled at Dazai’s feet and he reached down to pick one of the leaves from the ground.

“He’s the reason we’re together... if it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have joined the Agency... do you really think he’s always with me though?” He asked, sniffling loudly as he tried to calm his shaky breaths.

You reached over and placed your palm over his heart. “He’s always in here, and I think that it’s the best place for him to remain.” He nodded, wiping the remaining tears that clung to his lash line.

“Thank you, for coming here with me. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without you.” He got up off the ground, grabbing your hand to help pull you up. He wrapped his arms around you from behind as you both stared down at Oda’s grave. “I think he’s proud of me for finding you, he must see how happy you make me.” He turned you around to face him, he was smiling for the first time all day and you mirrored his smile right back to him. “Maybe we can do this every year?”

“Of course. I think he’d like that.”

Dazai and you walked out of the cemetery together, hand in hand. He had a new aura to him, it wasn’t the same sadness that he carried with him on this day every other year. It was bittersweet, still somber, but not completely black. There was some light coming back in the day as he spent the rest of the evening reminiscing on fonder memories with his best friend.

by Anonymous

in the second month of the year 20xx, im merely testing the limits of ao3s inaction

Words: 40, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong, Marvel Cinematic Universe, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game), Real Person Fiction, Original Work, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed, Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, Naruto, 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV), Teen Wolf (TV), Voltron: Legendary Defender, Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), One Direction (Band), Star Wars - All Media Types, Doctor Who, Haikyuu!!, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball, Free!, Miraculous Ladybug, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, One Piece, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Hobbit - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV), James Bond (Craig movies), Homestuck, Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Men's Hockey RPF, Glee, Merlin (TV), Once Upon a Time (TV), Hamilton - Miranda, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Final Fantasy, Overwatch (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game), Mass Effect Trilogy, Fire Emblem Series, Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga), Death Note (Anime & Manga)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk, Han Sooyoung, Yoo Sangah, Jung Heewon, lee hyungsung, Lee Jihye, Lee Seolhwa, Jang Hayoung, Kim Namwoon, Biyoo, Bihyung, Uriel, Prisoner of the Golden Headband | Sun Wukong, Secretive Plotter (Omniscient Reader)

Relationships: Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk, Han Sooyoung/Kim Dokja, Han Sooyoung/Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk, Han Sooyoung/Yoo Sangah, Han Sooyoung/Jung Heewon, Anna Croft/Han Sooyoung, Kim Dokja/Sung Jin-Woo, Kim Dokja/Yoo Sangah, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Additional Tags: im trying to prove a point, There are three ways to survive in a ruined world., now, I have forgotten a few, but one thing is certain., The fact that you who are reading this now will survive., -Three ways to survive in a ruined world, Prologue – There are three ways to survive in a ruined world., Episode 1 – Starting the Paid Service (1), “I’m Dokja.”, (translater note: Dokja can me only son or reader)., I usually introduced myself to people like this, then the following misunderstanding would occur., Chapter 2: Episode 1 – Starting the Paid Service (2), Dokkaebi., The first time he appeared, someone said so., Chapter 3: Episode 1 - Starting the Paid Service (3), People reacted differently after the dokkaebi disappeared., Some people tried to get out of the train while others called the police., Chapter 4: Episode 1 - Starting the Paid Service (4), Laughter emerged., I had to clear my eyes and look again to see if it was a lie., The file extension was TXT., Then this person…, The gift they sent me was a copy of their novel?, Chapter 5: Episode 1 - Starting the Paid Service (5), People panicked as they saw the insects running around the carriage., Chapter 6: Episode 2 – Protagonist (1), The subway stopped around halfway past Dongho Bridge., Chaptr 7: Episode 2 – Protagonist (2), [Sponsor Selection has ended.], Chapter 8: Episode 2 – Protagonist (3), I stared straight into Lee Hyunsung and Han Myungoh’s eyes and said., “Do you want to die from that guy beyond the iron door, or do you want to try your luck outside the train?, Which one will you choose?”, Episode 2 – Protagonist (4), at this moment, Yoo Sangah shouted., “Dokja-ssi! Behind you!”, Episode 2 – Protagonist (5), It would be quite a ludicrous sight if anyone else saw it., A large adult man was being grabbed by the neck and hanging like a monkey., Episode 3 – Contract (1), My body suddenly became heavy as I felt water entering my lungs., Then I was sucked in somewhere., I wasn’t torn apart because I fell with perfect timing., however, I couldn’t lose consciousness here., Episode 3 – Contract (2), Star Stream system., The star stream broadcasting was designed to relay its contents to the entire universe., Episode 3 – Contract (3), Looking at the situation, I got a sense of what happened., Episode 3 – Contract (4), I didn’t know how much time passed., My breathing was often interrupted, and all my muscles were so stiff, that I could barely move them., Episode 4 – Line of Hypocrisy (1), A meteor shower was pouring down in the starry sky., It was a sight that anyone would admire, but not Yoo Joonghyuk., Episode 4 – Line of Hypocrisy (2), I often thought about it., Episode 4 – Line of Hypocrisy (3), Despite the interference of Cheon Inho, the constellations didn’t ask for a bounty scenario., in other words, it wasn’t the best time to deal with him., Episode 4 – Line of Hypocrisy (4), the next morning, I was almost out of supplies., Jung Heewon stared at the convenience store bags, as if she couldn’t believe it., Episode 5 – Shadow Keeper (1), [T-Then I will let everyone take care of it! Yihihihit!], The dokkaebi said these words and disappeared., Episode 5 – Shadow Keeper (2), The party fought well., It was actually a little bit surprising., in particular, Lee Hyunsung and Jung Heewon, who stepped forward with me were very influential., Episode 5 – Shadow Keeper (3), “Hyung! This…”, Right after Lee Gilyoung discovered the treasure box, I blocked his little mouth., “Shh, wait.”, Episode 5 – Shadow Keeper (4), Maybe we would’ve fought for a long time., [The exclusive skill ‘Bookmark’ can now be activated.], [The number two bookmark has been activated.], [The level of the Bookmark skill is low, shortening the activation time.], [Activation Time: One minute.], Episode 6 – Judgment Time (1), The limited random items box., According to the setting of Ways of Survival, this was a coin item that was sold as a limited edition in a past ‘scenario.’, Episode 6 – Judgment Time (2), Just as I was about to open my mouth, I heard Cheon Inho’s voice., “Oh, Dokja-ssi! You came just in time.”, Episode 6 – Judgment Time (3), The following morning, there were a few changes to Gumho Station., first of all, Han Myungoh had disappeared., Episode 6 – Judgment Time (4), A few minutes later, I once again entered Dongdae Station, and ate a ground rat., It was in order to heal, the skin contaminated by the poisonous fog., Episode 7 – Landlord (1), We followed Lee Jihye and entered Chungmuro., Yoo Sangah saw the shattered screen door of the platform and said., “…It is a chaotic atmosphere.”, Episode 7 – Landlord (2), The 10 Evils., The list and rankings were often changed, according to Yoo Joonghyuk’s regression cycle, but they were the 10 people in charge of being the main villains, in this world of Ways of Survival, Episode 7 – Landlord (3), Yoo Joonghyuk was looking at everyone except for Lee Hyunsung., The three remaining people were standing together, and I couldn’t figure out exactly who Yoo Joonghyuk was looking at, 「…How is this possible? 」, Episode 7 – Landlord (4), After the dokkaebi disappeared ×dozens of casualties appeared on the platform of line 3., Episode 7 – Landlord (5), As I watched the surging wave of monsters, I gave strength to my thighs., The level 15 strength condensed at once, and my feet developed a strong propulsion force., Episode 8 – Emergency Defense (1), 「 Lee Hyunsung was dozing like an officer on duty, 」 - Freeform, Episode 8 – Emergency Defense (2), It was finally the promised time., I gathered on the line 3 platform with the party., Every member was checking their weapons., Lee Hyunsung seemed to have handled it properly., Episode 8 – Emergency Defense (3), I couldn’t kill Gong Pildu because he was useful in future scenarios, but I needed Gong Pildu to leave his land., Episode 8 – Emergency Defense (4), One hour after the battle began, Gong Pildu fought and fought., The number of monsters had barely decreased but it was still great., Gong Pildu was considered to have the strongest defense among the 10 Evils for a reason., Episode 9 – Omniscient Sunfish (1), After a while, we moved towards the entrance, of the ‘hidden dungeon’ on the first underground floor., I walked behind Lee Jihye, Lee Gilyoung and Jung Heewon while looking at my smartphone., Episode 9 – Omniscient Sunfish (2), The moment the yellow eyes looked at us, a deafening roar echoed in our ears., Episode 9 – Omniscient Sunfish (3), [The constellation Secretive Plotter is curious about your scam.], [The constellations have sponsored you 200 coins.], Episode 9 – Omniscient Sunfish (4), unfortunately, Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t on the sixth floor., Episode 9 – Omniscient Sunfish (5), The cold sensation numbed my fingers., dammit, I really wanted to beat this guy up., but..., There was something strange., Episode 9 – Omniscient Sunfish (6), “What?”, 「 What are you…? 」, Episode 10 – Future War (1), [Main Scenario #3 – Emergency Defense has ended.], [You have obtained 1, 000 coins as compensation.], Episode 10 – Future War (2), As soon as my hand wrapped around the flag, I felt a strong energy rising in my body., originally, this was something the third turn Yoo Jonghyuk should have but…, it didn’t matter., Episode 10 – Future War (3), …It hadn’t been long since the scenario began and already?, Episode 10 – Future War (4), “Push through to the flag holder!”, Episode 10 – Future War (5), After coming down from the theater, I headed straight to Myeongdong Station with Lee Hyunsung and Yoo Sangah., Dongmyo Station was important but there was something to be done first., Episode 10 – Future War (6), It wasn’t an illusion., The guy’s eyes instantly widened when he heard my name., Episode 10 – Future War (7), the internet - Freeform, it wasn’t possible., Episode 11 – Night of the Prophets (4), “The 9th person to get off.., it is the first time I’ve heard of this attribute.”, Episode 11 – Night of the Prophets (2), “A prophet like us?”

This wip intro is a response to a very sweet anon who wanted to know more about the fantasy fic that I’ve been working on for the past week. It’s hard to believe that on Monday, I only had a vague idea of my Kitsune & Seer concept/AU. And now on Saturday, I’ve compiled a huge word document of worldbuilding and character development. Thank you, to anon and to everyone who had expressed interest in this idea. Your enthusiasm is like a hug after a very long, exhausting day.

Title → Catching Fire & Chasing Smoke Rating → Mature Genre → Dark Fantasy, Folklore, Adventure Content Warnings → Adult Themes & Suggestive Undertones, Implied/Explicit Descriptions of Violence, Dubious Morality & Ethics

Chapter One → When Darkness Falls ETA → Late August, 2019

Year → 1287 (mid-Kamakura period)

    → Context: The story is set a few years after the second invasion-attempt by the Mongols where a heavenly, divine wind (a typhoon) wiped out the foreign fleet and protected the island nation. In the aftermath of the Mongol war, there was a significant drain on the Japanese economy and new taxes were levied on the people in preparation for future defensive measures. Political and economic instability and distrust in the Kamakura bakufu (military government) were soon apparent if the increase of roving bandits and rōnin were not enough. This time period could best be described as an internal, warring period as eventual civil wars ravaged the lands to restore imperial authority. For the sake of this story, I’m mostly focusing on the internal conflicts between politics and the economy for simplicity.

General Idea → The story of Catching Fire & Chasing Smoke revolves around a kitsune and seer, who’ve been driven out and viewed as outcasts to others of their own kind. The spiritual and literal journey that these two characters embark on illustrates the alchemy of truths and lies, of sorrows and regrets, of life and purpose, and of searching for a land overflowing in laughter and alcohol. Ultimately, this is a journey of finding a place where they could truly belong and of finding peace and acceptance for who they are. In the midst of their travels, they encounter a striking array of both humans and youkai who’ve found the answers to these difficulties for themselves.

Catching Fire & Chasing Smoke is written in an episodic-format, where every chapter is its own short story and follows the slice-of-life approach of the kitsune and seer along on their journey. While the chapters can be read as standalones, they are connected via overarching themes, progressions, and threaded storylines.

Characters

Oda Sakunosuke | Seer (Capnomancy) When the gods of the land asked him of what he desired most in this world, Oda responded with the mere breath of his voice. If he were his previous-self, he’d desire the power to destroy all of those who’d harm the people he cared for. However, the decision wouldn’t reflect the changed man he had become. Because of the children he was caring for, Oda was able to keep his hands clean for as long as he did. To dirty them, once more, would only insult the memory and of how much the children meant to him. As an alternative, Oda asked the gods of the land to grant him one simple request: the ability to protect people from the dangers they had yet to know.

Dazai Osamu | Four-Tail Kitsune Legend has it that tragedy follows the heels of a four-tail kitsune and that the youkai is forever on the move unless it wants the tragedy that’s following it to come true. By the same thread, superstition has dictated that four bears the misfortune of death. Woven across the tales passed by man, if a kitsune were to cease in its roaming and beckon tragedy to unravel across the land, what would follow would be all the deaths of those that the youkai had held dear. Fortunately or unfortunately, some kitsune have held doubt as the heart of all philosophy and that there was no such thing as an absolute truth. The matters of virtue or saving people from an inevitable demise were as foreign as trading bandages for wings. Death was merely an extension of a part of everyday life. Without an imminent threat of its arrival, how could one capture the full significance of what it meant to be alive? Such a threat would be a glorious thing, Dazai was sure, and he’d want nothing more than the leisure and euphoria of his own demise if he could.

Ace | Exorcist Just as words are poison when poured into another’s ears, close proximity with Ace has led to the deaths of those who’ve been esteemed so dearly. He is a man of indulgences and desires, content to trade his soul an hour before the Devil knows it has lost it. But if he’s to renounce himself as a monster to this world, Ace makes it certain that no one ignores the one growing inside of them. For in each and every individual, there lies the truth that one is simultaneously a human, yet a monster. None can be exempt from either.

Karma | An Apprentice yet Servant Of all the things he had learned during his time in Ace’s household, whether it was specifically from the man or not, the questions that couldn’t be answered were what taught him the most. Rather ideal for his position, Karma could pick apart a situation until he found what he had been looking for. Without a trial, it was nothing more than giving him a fact to memorize. But give him a question with hardly an answer to, and that was how Karma found his footing amongst those in the household. The harder the question, the harder the hunt for what he needed to find. The harder the hunt, the more he realized that the simple truths of this world were nothing more but just lies.

Nakahara Chuuya | Vessel for Arahabaki Having bounded his existence and his soul to Arahabaki, Chuuya straddles the line between man and kami. Referring to him as a demigod would seem appropriate, but the man held no pleasure in being called that. Simply, if he were to describe himself, Chuuya would say that he’s a humble messenger to those that ask of his assistance.

Ozaki Kouyou | Courtesan (Oiran, ranked: tayū) Kouyou is a woman of dignity and grace, of poise and of nobility, of benevolence and ferocity, and as cruel as she is kind. Kouyou did not ascend to where she is with a soft heart. No, her heart is that of ivy and stone. However, if one were to ask what her greatest strength was, Kouyou would respond that her greatest strength originated from love. And if one were to ask her of what her greatest downfall would be, Kouyou would respond that her greatest downfall would be because of that love. Neither a stranger to care or violence, she’s aware of what she brings to the table and doesn’t mind if she’s to dine, alone.

Izumi Kyouka | Lady in Waiting Like phantom threads, woven through the kimono that she often wears, there were a set of truths that Kyouka kept near. She kept them near for they were one of the very things that could ground her to this earth. But if she were to be honest, Kyouka did so to understand the truest nature of what she didn’t know. For, by her own words: ‘Fear is what we create on our own, and it’s the fruit of all of our inhibitions. My imagination dictates the size of my fear, so I’ve chosen to not be afraid anymore. The only thing I’m worried about is what remains hidden in the dark after all the lights have turned on.’

Sakaguchi Ango | Wandering Priest Words from the mouth were such peculiar things. At times, they were destined to die upon another’s ears. Yet, at different times, these words would find their way into another’s heart and survive. For the past two since, since he abandoned his former-life, a single piece of advice had never perished within Ango’s heart: ‘One’s past doesn’t necessarily dictate or define who someone is for the rest of their life. How they move forward after realizing what they’ve done is significant and shouldn’t be ignored.’ If one were to ask who he had heard this from, how many would scoff that such words had come from a youkai?

Title: a bird cage, faded in colour

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Characters: Chuuya Nakahara, Dazai Osamu, Mori Ougai (mentioned)

Summary: Chuuya is no stranger to pain even before he joins the mafia, but once Corruption awakens it becomes his constant companion

Even before he joins the Mafia, Chuuya is no stranger to pain, he crawls out of the wreckage of the lab worn and hurting, his body covered in bruises and his head thick with fog. Everything aches, but just for that moment he reveals in it because it's proof that he's alive.

The next couple years that follow have their fair share of pain as well, it's not always easy for him to find food on the streets and there's many a night he goes to bed with his stomach growling in anguish. He pushes through it though just like he pushes through the pain of the bruises and broken bones he receives, his ability is strong and he's found himself to be much more durable then the other street kids (just more proof he's not human, a voice in his head whispers, bringing with it a different kind of pain), but still there are occasions he knows it's better to just take the hits, to not draw unnecessary attention to himself by drawing upon his power. In a way, it's the feeling of being weak, of having to be cautious, that hurts more than any of the physical injuries he gets at those times.

After joining the Sheep, the pain in Chuuya's day to day life goes down drastically, there's strength in numbers and with a group of them working together it's easy to obtain the things they need; no longer are there any nights spent hungry or huddled up in a ball trying to stay warm while the wind whips through a too-thin shirt, anything they need they take. He's stronger now too, there's no need for him to retreat from or submit to anyone anymore, he's able to throw caution to the wind, dominating anyone who tries to go against them without going so much as a bruise.

Good things don't always last though and when Dazai and the Port Mafia first enter his life they bring with them fresh pain. He's grown used to being in control and so when Dazai's fingers wrap around the back of his neck, snuffing his ability out like one would a candle, he once again feels the old familiar pain of weakness creeping upon him.  Being forced to cooperate with the stupid waste of bandages only drives that pain in deeper, but Chuuya's not one to just lie down and suffer, he pushes through does his best to cause his temporary partner as much frustration as he can in revenge for the pain.

When all is said and done though, none of the hurt he's felt up to the point prepares him for the pain of betrayal. The knife wound in his gut is agonizing, but it doesn't compare to the sheer pain in his heart as those he considered friends glare at him with hostile expressions and speak of killing him.  

(It hurts, it hurts so much, but still, he forgives them, it's not their fault)

Joining the mafia brings with it a new set of pains, he's not the only ability user around anymore and for all his skill in fighting he's never had formal training before, more often than not he falls into his bed at night feeling bruised all over from being slammed into the mats. It's a good sort of pain though and he's a quick learner so it's not long before he leaves trying with only the pain of tired muscles rather than a beating.

(He can't do anything to train away the pain of Mori's punishments on the few occasions he messes up a mission though, can't use his ability to defend himself from it, all he can do is submit and remind himself that even he didn't have much of a choice, he still chose this life)

Sometimes the pain comes in his dreams too, it's never anything too bad, just the poking sensation of needles and bruising grips on his limbs, but there's always a painful sense of fear accompanying it. He's never quite sure if they're just dreams or memories, never can understand any of the words spoken in them, but he always awakens drenched in sweat and breathing hard.

Those dreams go away mostly after he discovers Corruption, something he would be grateful for if it hadn't brought new troubles with it. With Corruption's awakening pain becomes a never-ending presence in Chuuya's life, the first time he activates it, it feels like he's being ripped to shreds and even after Dazai shuts it off all he can do is collapse on the ground in agony as blood trickles out of his mouth and eyes.  

(He's never quite sure if the sound of Dazai crying his name in terror as he falls unconscious is just a pain cause hallucination or if it really happened)

It takes him a week to wake up afterward and several more for the burning pain to disappear, and even then there's a dull ache in his bones that doesn't disappear. He mentions it to Mori's once during a checkup, but the man merely hums thoughtfully and tells Chuuya it will most likely fade, before adding that sometimes people need to suffer for the good of the organization.

(It doesn't fade, but Chuuya never brings it up again.)

He desperately wants to never use Corruption again, but Mori's is not one to ignore any tools in his arsenal and so a warehouse is set aside for them to test it in, Dazai always nearby to shut him down before he goes too far out of control.  The first time he uses it on a mission is ironically of his own choice, the relationships he builds are of great importance to him and the sight of his dead friends during the Dragon's Head Conflict makes him angry enough to not care about the pain.

His actions net him an executive position and gives birth to the powerhouse duo Double Black, it's an exhilarating prize but at the same time a curse for he's proven the usefulness of Corruption and guaranteed he'll have to use it again.

And use it again he does, though thankfully not as often as he had feared. Whether it's out of consideration to Chuuya, or more likely just out of logic, Dazai always figures it into their plans as only a last resort, it's only under Mori's direct orders that they ever start off with it.  

No matter how many times he uses it though, the agony of it never lessens; every time he activates it while his body carries out its rampage he remains trapped within his own mind, writhing in agony as his power tears him apart from the inside. It's only when Dazai activates his ability, shutting it down, and he's able to collapse into unconsciousness, that he's granted a reprieve.  

Each time he uses it the lingering ache gets worse, no longer is it just a dull ache in his bones but a burning pain in his nerves and chest, he never says a word though just learns to work through the pain. There's no room for useless people in the mafia and he doesn't want people to think his pain makes him a liability, doesn't want to risk his position. He'll take to the physical pain over the pain of being alone again any day.

(He never even tells Dazai about it, he's come to trust the other boy with his life and loves him like a brother, but he's well aware of how cruel he can be. He doesn't want to risk his mockery or even worse risk being seen as weak.)

When the day comes that Dazai leaves the mafia, it is both a new pain and a relief to Chuuya. On the one hand he was angry, Chuuya was creature of loyalty, even if he hadn't really wanted to join in the first place, the moment he'd become part of the organization he'd devoted himself to it; Dazai didn't get to run away after he'd put so much effort into making Chuuya join, he didn't get to betray the mafia just like he'd made the Sheep betray Chuuya, it wasn't allowed!

(And maybe, just maybe, there's a small part of Chuuya that's hurt he didn't invite Chuuya to come with him, to leave a place where sometimes he felt more like a weapon than a person. He doesn't know how he'd have answered if Dazai had invited him, but he'd thought that maybe Dazai had also thought of him as family, so the fact that he hadn't hurt)

On the other hand though, with Dazai gone, Mori couldn't make Chuuya use Corruption, not when no one could stop him. As much as Mori's made Chuuya felt like just a weapon at times, Chuuya knew that he had plenty of value outside of Corruption, enough so that Mori wouldn't throw him away as a suicide attack.    

With Dazai gone he'd be free of a bunch of pain, he'd no longer have to deal with an annoying waste of bandages, and he'd finally get the chance to make a name for himself outside of Double Black.  When he thought of it like that, the situation really wasn't painful at all! And if it took a bottle of expensive wine for him to fully convince himself of that, well, no one but him had to know.  

Of course, Dazai had to ruin it by showing up again four years later and pick away at the scabs covering all that pain, still, as annoyed as he was at being outwitted by Dazai yet again, it had been nice to fall back into their old habits of bantering with one another. He remembered Kouyou commenting once not long after they'd first been partnered that they squabble like a pair of siblings and the horrified looks they had both given her. Truth be told it had made Chuuya kind of happy, he certainly hadn't thought of Dazai as anything like a sibling back then, but it had been nice to interact with someone his own age who didn't fear his ability and would say whatever they wanted right to his face.

Those days were long gone though, the two of them were on different sides now, there would be no more team-ups where they spent just as long attacking each other with insults as they did taking out the enemy instead they would be each other's enemy. Or at least that was what he'd thought but then The Guild had attacked and the weretiger had proposed their organizations form an alliance, and suddenly he was back to fighting side by side with Dazai again, even if it was only for one night.

They had easily slipped back into their old roles, Dazai insulting Chuuya's appearance (and not for the first time in his life Chuuya wished he had a mind-reading ability so he could figure out if Dazai really thought his outfit was bad or if he was just messing with him; then again, Dazai's mind would probably be a terrifying thing to read) and Chuuya would sling back whatever insult he could think of to try and get a rise out of him. He knew he was going to be remembering the slight fear in Dazai voice when he'd threatened to send his address to all the women he'd made cry, for years to come.  

Of course, it was just their luck then that one of the Guild members would be conscious and attack them as soon as Chuuya reached the doorway.  Once again they switched back into their old roles as Dazai strategized and Chuuya attacked, but none of their attacks had a lasting effect and Chuuya couldn't stop the feeling of dread as he realized what their only remaining option was.  Not having to use Corruption even once during the past four years had been wonderful and now, despite what Dazai said about leaving the choice up to him, he really had no choice at all.

Stripping his gloves off, Chuuya approached the creature while chanting rhetoric stanzas that would unleash his ability,

"Oh granters of dark desire, do not wake me again!" As soon as the words were finished pain shot through his whole body, it was likely the pain hadn't increased from the last time he'd used Corruption, but four years without doing so certainly made it feel like it had.  Part of him wanted to scream, to beg Dazai to stop him already, but he had no voice with which do so right now even if he wanted to so instead he focused his attention on the fight, trying to ignore the way the tearing pain in his chest and the blood creeping up his throat and seeping from his mouth. It seemed like an eternity before the creature was defeated, one of Chuuya's gravity balls finishing it off after the damage Dazai's bomb had caused, and really why hadn't heard used that earlier, the stupid waste of bandages.  

With the creature defeated, he waited for Dazai's touch to end his ability and free him from his mad rampage, but moments passed and nothing happened and all the while his body continues to toss around gravity balls, destroying the landscape around him while the pain his body was in increased. Finally after what seemed like an eternity a familiar hand grasps his wrist.

"The enemy has been eliminated. Take a break now, Chuuya." Dazai's familiar voice washes over him and he collapses bonelessly to his knees, coughing harshly as blood dribbles down his chin onto the ground.  

“I told you to stop me as soon as it was over.” He manages to gasp out between coughs, his whole body is an all too familiar mess of pain and he hates it.  Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Dazai crouching down next to him, an infuriating grin on his face.

“I was going to, but it was entertaining, so I had to watch.” He comments, his grin never falling and as agonizing as it is to do so, Chuuya turns his head to glare at him,

“I used Corruption because I trusted you.” He growls out, trying hard to hide the hurt in his voice the Dazai’s words had caused; knowing the man as well as he did, it was a 50/50 chance on whether he was joking or serious but that didn’t make the fact he’d let Corruption stay active longer then he needed to any better. He didn’t have the energy to stay angry at his old partner at the moment though, he could already feel his senses beginning to dull as unconsciousness crept in on him.

Raising a fist, he punched Dazai in the chest, though with his current amount of strength it turned into little more than a light tap,

“You... better take me...to the extraction point.” He manages to gasp out before he can’t keep himself upright anymore and tips over, Dazai’s soft assurance that he will, the last thing he hears before blacking out.

(Several hours later when he awakes alone, in pain and in the exact spot he had been, he curses his own foolishness.  Curses how he’d let their easy banter and teamwork lull him into thinking that things were somehow back to the way they used to be, he’d let himself forget for just a bit too long that they weren’t partners anymore and that he couldn’t count on him the way he used to.  And as he lays there on the ground, still too exhausted to move, he thinks that maybe false hope is the worst pain of all)

Stray Dogs and Tiger Cubs (pt.17)

Also on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters: Dazai, Atsushi, Yosano, Kunikida, Chuuya, Akutagawa.

...

"O-o-ow-!"

"Oh, grow up, Dazai. Maybe if you hadn't gotten yourself into that situation in the first place, you wouldn't be in this one now. Atsushi's a better patient than you are!"

"Atsushi-chan can heal because of the tig-ow! - so that doesn't count. And you know I hate pain."

Atsushi himself, completely unharmed despite everything that had happened just earlier, looked over at Yosano with wide eyes.

"Is... is Da-san going to be okay?"

Dazai put on his most morose expression.

"I'm going to die," he said, putting his free arm not currently being manhandled by Yosano, over his eyes. "A long, slow, and painful death. It's awful."

"Don't be ridiculous, Dazai. Atsushi-chan, stop making that face, he's not dying, even if he wishes he was."

He lifted his arm away to find that yes, Atsushi was doing a very good job of making him feel guilty as hell by looking that concerned. 

"I'm just joking, Atsushi-chan~"

"You did get pretty beat up, though. Otherwise I wouldn't still be picking out bits of what can only be described as debris out of your hands. What were you doing, fighting a wall or something?"

"Or something," he said in a tone that was meant to be far more carefree than it came out, what with Yosano dabbing at yet another sore patch and making him wince.

"Da-san did say that Aku-san had been mean to him too," Atsushi said, making Dazai have to fight not to laugh.

Aku-san? So, Akutagawa has become Mr. Bad Guy now? Well... it isn't as though he hasn't earned it.

...

"I see you brought the girl back with you," Kunikida says stiffly.

It wasn't as though he wasn't concerned by everything that was going on; just the sight of Dazai's face had been enough to shock him speechless for a good moment when the small group had returned to the Agency. Dazai was the one out of all of them that was the hardest to kill, to the point where most of them had stopped being concerned at his disappearances a long time ago, expecting that he'd turn up sooner or later, or someone would eventually drag him back to them like a lost dog.

Seeing evidence of the fact that he wasn't somehow invulnerable and that those damn bandages of his probably hid worse, was more than a little unsettling, and he was still attempting to find his balance from the reminder.

"Of course," Dazai said, sounding nowhere near as concerned by any of this than he had any right to be. "She asked so politely not to have to go back to the mafia, so she's staying here for the time being, watching over Atsushi-chan."

He noticed the shift in honorific, and wondered if that meant anything, but made a mental note to ask Dazai about that later, since there were far more pressing problems right now.

"Yes, but - this is the mafia. Not some small gang that Kenji can encourage to just let the matter drop! And aside from that, she's a wanted murderer. The police are going to be after her!"

For a moment, Dazai doesn't respond, just staring over in the direction of where Atsushi is talking to Kenji, who then puts his hat on the small boy's head, which completely covers his eyes until his pushes it up so that he can see, a clear smile on his face as he looks over in their direction. In Dazai's direction.

Dazai smiles, and for the first time, Kunikida finds himself wondering if perhaps Dazai looking after Atsushi might not be the worst thing in the world, for either of them.

"I know that," his partner says at last, voice soft and low and reminding him of when they'd first met, with all of his secrets and no reason to be trusted yet. Reminding him that a lot of the things that he had distrusted Dazai for back then still haven't been answered, even if he's been able to trust the other man with his life for going on two years now. "We don't need to worry about the mafia for the moment, though," Dazai continues brightly, and the sense of something being swept under the rug and hidden away again makes Kunikida grind his teeth. "And I already have an idea for what we can do with her, too."

"Don't need to- do I even want to know what you mean by that?" He pinches the bridge of his nose. "And that'd better be a good idea, because for the life of me, I can't think of anything."

It wasn't for lack of trying, either, but-

"The mafia are busy right now, because someone made a very bad mistake in thinking that they could make them into fools," Dazai point out, and Kunikida shuddered. "Ah, well, because of all of that, and me being Atsushi-chan's guardian, it means that we'll be having to talk with them on even terms to figure out what happens next, which definitely won't be any fun. With any luck they'll just let it drop and go after the one who set up the bounty, but..." Dazai sighed, and trailed off.

"But?"

"Kyouka-chan's the more complicated situation." And there was the serious expression, back again. "And my idea can only work if it's what she truly wants."

"And that is?"

Dazai just smiled enigmatically, damn him, and didn't answer.

...

"Akutagawa. Oi, Akutagawa, listen to me." Chuuya sighed. He'd had to listen to silence interspersed with coughing all the way back to headquarters, and then he'd had to force the damn coat of the overgrown bratty teenager just to get him to be treated. Mori had left him in his care for the time being, to boot. "Look, do you even have any idea why everyone's mad at you."

"...I went against orders."

It was the same stiff and unyielding tone Akutagawa had used against Mori earlier, and it didn't give him any feeling of hope that anything had actually sunk in.

"You do that all the time," he says, waving that idea out the window. "Hell, I went against orders by letting a traitor loose, but in the end, it was the right decision. So what's the difference? And that was a question. I'm expecting an answer."

"Chuuya-san is an executive," came the response, in the same tone as before, making Chuuya put his hand to his head. If he hadn't been getting a headache before, he definitely was now.

"Well, yeah, that helps, but mostly it was because I got good information out of it. Boss likes it best when he's got all the information, not just bits and pieces of it."

Which was similar to Dazai, come to think of it, though he wasn't sure if that was something the Boss had taught Dazai, or if it'd just naturally always been something the mackerel'd had in his head.

"I..." for a moment, he almost thought he'd imagined that, it was so quiet, even and especially with the fit of coughing. "I just... wanted to be stronger. Strong enough... he..."

Chuuya sighed. Leaned back on his chair, and stared at the ceiling, wondering just how many times his (ex) partner had told him how much he hated people who only threw around their strength without using their heads.

"You don't... really get Dazai, do you Akutagawa," he said, glancing back down.

Akutagawa blinked, and it took Chuuya a moment to realise that the expression he was now wearing was one of confusion.

"Get... Dazai-san? That's... it's pointless to even try. Anyone who attempts to understand him falls into a cognitive prison, a dead end with no way out."

"So that's what you think, huh." Dazai really did a number on this kid, whatever it was he did. I dunno if the worst thing is that Dazai doesn't even seem to realise what it is he's done. It's a damn good job he looks like he's treating that weretiger kid better, or... eh, I dunno. "That's your first mistake, then."

He expected some sort of response, a rebuttal, maybe, but all he got was Akutagawa's head turning away in an immature way of saying he didn't want to talk about it, or that's what it seemed like.

The most baffling thing was, Chuuya had worked with Akutagawa before this, and he'd never been this bad. The fact that he knew exactly what was causing it all only made it more frustrating.

"You start thinking of Dazai as some great mystery you're never gonna be able to solve, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy you've got there. Sure, trying to get inside his head's like trying to stick your hand in a bag full of cats, and trying to figure out his plans is sometimes like trying to get 'em all in a line, but... motivation in general? Like, why he'd be pissed off right now? That's not too hard. He's as human as anyone, you and me included."

He was aware there was a certain amount of irony about that particular phrase and including himself in it, but... it fitted. All too well. But he wasn't about to explain personal things like that, not to Akutagawa, and not here and now.

"After all," added, carefully watching Akutagawa's reaction, "from what I heard, that kid's ability's less like how your Rashomon practically has a mind of its own, or that girl's Demon Snow, or ane-san's Golden Demon, either. Even just from what I saw, it's more like..." Like a softer, fluffier, version of Corruption that's less lethal to the user, came the unwelcome but unfortunately accurate thought. Right down to the fact that they both seemed to need Dazai to stop them once they'd started. "It's still the kid, it's just the shape that's changed."

He stands, hands in pockets and hat shading his eyes as he turns to leave the briefing room he'd appropriated for their 'discussion' a while back.

"But-" the one word paused him at the doorway, full of so much desperate emotion it'd be impossible to pick it all apart. "Dazai-san... Dazai-san never... never once treated me like that! What - what has one kid got, that I- I couldn't-!"

"Yeah? Welcome to the club, then. Personally, I'd say it's because he's an ass who finds it easier to piss people off than stay to deal with the fallout, but... that's just me."

In the end, it sucked, but that was the way things were. Besides, he didn't have time to play therapist when it felt like there were a million other things he needed to be doing right now along with making sure Dazai's mistakes didn't blow up in everyone's faces.

ships in the night. || ChuuAku

Chuuaku week day 3 || Intensity - Marriage  Corruption could have handled this. Albeit, the wreckage would have aggregated a much larger mass of land the number of his men he now had to bury could have been sliced into eighths. Rarely did the Port Mafia find itself under the talons of an operation as large and prepared as this, but Chuuya was not Mori. He couldn’t see an attack two weeks into the future based upon a simple note and the look from a subordinate turned rat. His fists clench at his sides rubble beginning to quake beneath his feet. Akutagawa inhales sharply waiting on the furthest corner atop an upturned piece of cement large enough to crush two cars. Despite the expansive distance Akutagawa notes Chuuya’s usual sapphirine eyes had begun shift in color mirroring deep ocean waves rising up before a thunderstorm hits. Akutagawa’s heart rises to his throat. The enemy had been defeated with the backup of a decent amount in the defense bracket, but many of them didn’t make it. Chuuya knew, at least in some part of his mind, that he would lose members during this. As the mafia did in the great war and as it had against the American’s the year prior.

Though, Akutagawa could feel the ground beginning to vibrate beneath his feet. Against his better judgement he steps forward off the debris beginning to walk in slow careful steps to avoid the body parts still littered around him. It didn’t bother him as much as it bothered the new boss even with the amount of time Chuuya had racked on his timecard. Red flows down Chuuya’s silhouette mimicking the appearance of liquified garnet. Or the wine Chuuya tended to share with Akutagawa on the nights they found each other wandering the hallways of headquarters far past an appropriate time. Often, Akutagawa had been training rather than resting. Hiding from his sister knowing she was either at their shared apartment sleeping or stuck on a mission that kept her away from headquarters. Chuuya--Akutagawa didn’t know what he was doing outside his office. He never asked. But as of late the number of bodies stacking due to the ongoing war and government’s decision to remain offensive the bags had been growing beneath Chuuya’s eyes. Heavy ink settling where pallid skin lay serving as a soft backdrop to the intense blue that would ignite when Chuuya laughed. Chuuya wasn’t sleeping, that was fucking apparent even in the dim lighting of the hallways. Akutagawa’s throat cinches upon gaining a closer look at the newly appointed boss. The intense fire that often soared in the midst of a fight he was enjoying or a mission gone the way he intended had become something much more...meaningful, deeper. It radiated an indescribable feeling that made Akutagawa want to apologize for his lack of care, for being unable to help those lost in the battle. Chuuya was not one to take death lightly. A plight Aktuagawa did not understand. Akutagawa had survived the ordeal due to his strength and ability to carry out what Chuuya had asked of him, but their sacrifices did not go unnoticed even if he thought their weakness had been the reason they were-- for lack of a better word--pawns to allow Akutagawa to remain king. But, he had slaughtered the each individual enemy in the most painful of ways to make up for the bloodshed Akutagawa amassed to the necessity of winning the war. He drops to his knees anyway. “I am sorry I did not do better to ensure they did not die, boss.” Akutagawa’s voice flutters out much weaker than he intended. Fire in his chest riding up from the bottom of his lungs as he inhales. Chuuya slides his hands in his pockets as if shaken from a daze. Blinking once, twice, before crouching down to Akutagawa’s level. When Akutagawa looks up he feels his heart fall from his throat to the pit of his stomach. A ferocity as bright as the birth of a star making its stance known behind pools of cerulean. The loss, the anger, the resentment in taking a position that did not allow him to put his life at risk as often as he did before. “You couldn’t have stopped this.” Chuuya states, tilting his head to the side. Orange curls brushing down his shoulder. “This is on me.” Akutagawa remains silent unsure of if he should answer or what he should say. “Blame is useless. It was their choice to fight just as you have decided on multiple occasions to set your life on the line for the organization.” The words tumble too quickly for him to catch. Akutagawa holds his breath in his throat. Chuuya stills, eyes locked on the former subordinate, now executive in the wake of Mori’s passing, stare grinding through Akutagawa like he’d been created from paper. “Is it now.” Chuuya half smiles, turning to look at the wreckage. Eyes scanning the continuous black bags and rubble holding the skyline as a backdrop. Chuuya returns his attention back to Akutagawa who had become rooted to the floor. “Then I guess you shouldn’t blame yourself so much either. Hypocrite.” His tone is light, but pointed. Smirk returning as Chuuya stands gaze skimming his surroundings before turning on his heel. Akutagawa rises and follows Chuuya without prompting. Stopping only when Chuuya does at the edge of the water. Quietly, Akutagawa takes the position next to him hands slid into his pockets. Chuuya’s attention had wandered again. Mind far off in the distance leaving Akutagawa time to catch the shifting in force behind his gaze. A sea becoming calm in the aftermath of wreckage seeking to rebuild. The intensity of focus driven by something Akutagawa couldn’t quite grasp in words. It was there, though, often enough that Akutagawa felt comfortable leaving Chuuya’s presence knowing the mess in his head had come undone. “Goodnight, boss.” Akutagawa states back turned to the sea. Chuuya glances to the side and waves him off knowing full well he’d see him later in the hallways. Training when he should be sleeping. A roaring, determined fire with the intensity to ignite gunmetal grey to a vibrant silver. “Goodnight, Akutagawa.”

I finally drew Isidora's character sheet! I tried using BSD anime style, tho idk if I managed to make it look quite as good.

Either way, without further ado, here is more info under the cut:

Name: Isidora Sekulić

Hair: Light Ash Brown

Eyes: Blue-Green

Hight: 154cm (5')

Weight: 44kg (98lbs)

Age: 22

Birthday: 16. February

Ability name: The Companion

Ability description: "The Companion" allowes its master to experience life events of every person she touches, understanding their emotion levels and partially deduction process (not acquiring it tho)

Aligance: Government (former), Decaying Angles (current)

Ship: You can ship her with whoever you like xD but I ship her with Chuuya. :3

Likes: Mountians, Unusual minds, Medicine, Knives and swords (tho she can only handle the first), Hot chocolate, Rarities of various kinds.

Dislikes: Humanity in general, Physical fights, Cake, Jazz.

Strengths: Curiosity, Medical knowledge, Youthfulness (in her opinion), Speed.

Weaknesses: Low attention span, Naive (at least more than she wants to admit), Awkwardness.

Backstory:

Isidora was rised in her homeland, Serbia, along with 16 other kids, by her adopted father Branko Radičević, who was an enthusiastic goverment aka military scientist secretly looking for eternal youth. In his way of finding the resources Isidora's ability was well used, and he always made sure to give her an award after a successful job. Still, every once in a while she kept refusing to read people because of severe nightmares it caused, pushing Branko to formulate a specific drug to make her sleep without having any deams whatsoever in order to bribe her. She was 11 when she started using it, and apart from taking away her dreams it also helped her focus on science she loved so much. Over time, she also helped Branko with minor experiments and taking down a few "unnecessary" people.

Being treated so nicely by her adoptive father, combined with her natural cold attitude, made other children envious and quite hostile of her, causing grotesque feelings in Isidora. Now, instead of having nightmares she wouldn't sleep for days concerned about her social situation and questions about humanity. She thought only people who Branko told her to read were exceptions from the kind nature of humans, but when she was forced to touch her "siblings" (fights in self defense) she saw no qualities she found redeeming, and having never touched Branko, she started to question his mind as well.

Soon, using the information she already had she started forming a bigger picture. After secretly hacking Branko's computer her thoughts were confirmed and Isidora assumed he was insane and that he had an intention of abusing all of the children under his wing very soon. But instead of acting quick, she decided to wait until he actually did something, just to make sure, since she was forbidden of ever touching him.

Her predictions were right and within half a year two of her "siblungs" died of a mysterious illness. Isidora copied the files in secrecy and gathered evidence, enough to get him convinced for years in jail, but when she delivered them to the police, the minister was informed and instead of taking immediate action against Branko, she was put away as a harmful lawbreaker. Because of her betrayal Branko fell into a deep depression, or so they said, and turned to alcohol, making Serbian military lose an important part of their medical team. Thus, she was set to be eliminated.

Havig assumed this will happen, during her time in juvenile prison, she made a deal with one of the guards, Ivo, to take her with him to Russia so she could help him determine the truth of a mysterious claim. The chances of escape were slim, but she felt a strange determination in the guards eyes and realised he is truly in need of her ability.

When the news arrived, Ivo used his superior to disable the alarms by drugging him with a substance Isidora told him how to make (Branko used it on the enemy officers), switched the tapes of the shift from a few months ago to make everything look clean, and then came for Isidora who was very inpatiently waiting. She took some of his clothes and they quickly dissappeared into the night, sneaking into a train which transported charcoal. They managed to get through all the boarders by diggig themselves in and they made their exit by Ivo using his ability- "Damned Court" which can transport him and people he is touching to the nearest place he has visited, if the said location is within a kilometer away.

There they met with a man called simply mr. Obradović who didn't even seem bothered by their horrible, sketchy appearence. Isidora was not amazed by this elegant elder man, but she was still in shock from having read Ivo's mind just a moment earlier. He was he first person who's mind was so complex she could not comprehend the logic behind his motivation. This sparked her desire to read what she calles unusual minds.

After the business with Obradović was done, she asked Ivo if she could stay with him for a while longer to which he agreed if she would become his business partner. Isidora had no choice but to agree, and ti be fair, a thought of her own laboratory sounded tempting. Days turned to months and months turned into a year, but soon came the day he overpriced himself and Isidora decided to finish him off...with the help of a clown and his demon friend whom she had met during a particularly bloody mission a few months earlier.

Her mind was intrigued once more, this time not by the lack of understanding, but by the similarities with her own and the deviant powers each one hides.

Holy shit this is a lot longer than I expected. If you want to know more, feel free to ask! ^-^

Okay so now that I’ve had food and sleep, it is time to revisit this post. Naturally, everything is under the cut. I tried to put things into some sort of chronological order but I probably failed.

Spoilers for both Dead Apple and the Stray Dogs anime itself ahead.

Proceed with caution ye who enter here.

Okay, first off: Odasaku showing up in the opening minutes. I was not surprised by this, or by him picking the kid up (was that Sakura? Looked like Sakura to me,) what surprised me was the audible, squeak-gasps from behind us in the theatre. Followed by the pained cries when the grave-marker was revealed, and when Oda’s death was rehashed. Apparently we were among Oda fans, which is fine.

Chuuya. Could not tell if that bike was bright pink or bright purple, but either way of course the tiny red-headed hell-raiser would have that gaudy of a bike. Of course he would also almost immediately total it, partially out of the sheer need to be dramatic.

Dazai is incredibly bendy. I already knew this, but that kick to the jaw was no small feat all the same. Side-note: Do cuffs ever work on Dazai? Because I’ve yet to see a pair not just instantly fall off his scrawny wrists.

The fact that Atsushi is now more concerned about Kunikida yelling at him than about the fact that Dazai said he was going to try a new method to off himself. The poor boy has finally accepted that Dazai is a roach, and can never be killed.

Ranpo literally shoving his snacks in a safe. Which, in a house-full of children / teenagers with no concept of ‘mine, not yours,’ I can relate to on an almost spiritual level.

Atsushi freaking out and Kyouka, four years his junior, having to take the reins as always. Related note: Kyouka’s immediate reaction to “we need to get to the Agency, quickly,” is to steal a car.

SEPARATE BUT RELATED NOTE: Who let Kyouka drive throughout this whole freakin’ movie? Can she even see over the dashboard?? Is she driving by photographic memory of streets alone and just hoping there’s nothing actually in her way??? I need answers.

Kunikida is also a roach. He is indestructible. Also, that man has impressive leg strength. That is all. Side-note: Where were all those guns and tech when the Guild was giving people a hard time? Why did they not send the office staff to the safe-house with at least a couple PISTOLS out of that stash? Would that have been so hard? (Gun regulation differences aside, I’m 99% certain no one’s gonna argue in the middle of a Gifteds’ war.)

Akutagawa being PUNTED across the street by Rashoumon, indirectly saving Atsushi’s hide. Atsushi thinking all three of them are dead meat because “Holy -bleep- it’s Rashoumon.” Rashoumon immediately forsaking his assault on Akutagawa because “WERE-TIGER, MUST KILL”. I was joking when I said those two only ever got anything done In The Name of Mutual Spite, but even their abilities hate each other’s guts. No one else’s ability goes after anyone but their owner. Literally just Atsushi and Akutagawa’s. Also: the fact that Akutagawa just accepts this, decides “Welp, easier for us to leave, then, if they’re tearing each other apart. See ‘ya,” and walks off.

Atsushi, put that gun away, everyone knows you’re too much of a coward to put a bullet between Akutagawa’s eyes, and that’s including you. Side-note: Kyouka setting aside the fact that Akutagawa has tormented her more than probably anyone else because “Shut up Atsushi, we have a job to do.”

Poor Tanizaki getting smacked around endlessly by Light Snow.

Everyone’s talking about how good Dazai looks with his hair tucked behind his ear, meanwhile I was just sitting there going, “that hairstyle was not meant to do that, Dazai, what are you doing.”

“I can out-manipulate you!”

“No, I can!”

“Clearly you two do not realize that it is I who is superior.”

Be quite all of you, you’re all nerds.

Akutagawa outsmarting Rashoumon by grace of better reflexes alone.

Demon Snow returning the cell-phone to Kyouka as a peace offering.

Chuuya, the shorter of the pair, lifting Ango up by the collar. Because Small Person Spite. Also, did he use his ability to keep his hat on when he jumped out of that plane, or is that thing super-glued to his head?

Yeah just, smack it with an entire building and shove it in its mouth. Unwieldy, inelegant, but effective. Also, Jesus Christ Chuuya, you look like a gremlin in that scene.

“That was a violent way of waking Sleeping Beauty.”

“YOU KNEW I’D PUNCH YOU.”

Ah. Yes. Such a healthy working relationship you two have. No wonder Dazai doesn’t question the viability of a relationship between Akutagawa and Atsushi despite the fact they outright hate each other and would never get along for love nor money.

The mutters, gasps, and cackles from behind us during the Lap Scene. The poor animators tried to make that look as unquestionable as possible. Alas, they were given an almost impossible task. I know you “have no such tastes in men,” Dazai, but could you get off your ‘humiliate Chuuya’ horse for two seconds and just let the poor man pass out in relative peace?

Shock therapy. I am not shocked. Side note: Atsushi why would you eat it?

I was expecting the Lotus Juice BG music. I was not expecting Reason Living. I am not, however, complaining.

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Akutagawa, someone’s gotta. Last time you were left to your own devices, you got catapulted. Actually, even in that battle you were catapulted. More than once. Stop going directly after things bigger than you. Stealth is your friend.

All’s well that ends well and no one’s gonna talk about the fact that, just as in Stray Dogs proper, this is still all Dazai’s fault and doing.

Favorite part over-all? My grandmother in that pause of silence and black screen-time 2/3rds through the movie leaning over and just saying “wow.” Followed after by her saying to me earlier today “I was not expecting it to be so action-packed!”