#but it was sort of funny after i spent years lying and prenending like i cared about doing well and behaving
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no but i was really like, after intentionally misrepresenting my personality, wHy DoEs nO oNe uNdeRstAnd Me?!??!?
#how the fuck are you meant to format that#i was like this in high school so much though and there were like extenuating circccumstances and stuff#but it was sort of funny after i spent years lying and prenending like i cared about doing well and behaving#and then in year twelve i just didnt care about prentending anymore so i admitted i didnt care#and then the staff members this specific one#was like i dont understand whats happened to you why are you like this all of a sudden#and i was confused before i remembered how i used to act#dont know how i forgot guess im really just that dumb#but the fact that she actually bought my clueless well meaning really really dumb but academically smart loser act#i mean the only thing there that was a lie was the well meaning like id say i didnt mean to do the thing that got me in trouble i thought i#was allowed or it was an accident or something#actually sometimes that was somewhat true#but as a teenager lying to adults especially school people is literally the easiest thing ever and yet they all think they can see through#and i guess at the time i was convinced that they all did see through it a ot more than it turned out they actually did#i mean like sometimes it was so obvious i was lying and it was obvious they knew i was lying but it wasnt that important so they let it go#and this specific person who did that was one of those like she was more easily convinced i guess but i was sure she saw through me sometim#there was this specific time which was a bit more serious and like i lied as much as i could and they clearly werent convinced but they wen#with it for some reason i guess they did know i didnt actually mean any harm that was clear#i only lied about the specifics instead of admitting i was bored and showing off#but there was no way they believed me#and yet they still had this totally inaccurate version of me in their head and had no idea of my actual motivations for anything#i mean obviously they could see through a bit and still think that but its like she though i didnt lie at all#obviously a parrt of this is that i was just one student and they probably forgot a lot its just funny how she thought she knew me#like her specifically just had a personality like that#they all had very specific personalities that influenced how they saw students behaviour and stuff#i feel like it was weirldy like christian or some shit#not the right word but like when they think theyre this great righeoteous benefactor doing all this good#and theyre actually just cluesless
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