#but im loving my hating solomon era so fuck that guy
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Apparently I reached the option limit and can't list Solomon, but if you truly think that he would win send me your dissertation in the comments because I'd need to be convinced.
#i could only narrow it to top four#tbf I could replace levi with solomon#cause levi DOES NOT excude good parent material#and i'd let solomon babysit for at least an hour#but im loving my hating solomon era so fuck that guy#obey me#obey me shall we date#future reference#hc opinion needed
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Obey Me Romanian MC
idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)
Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30
Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele
[added translations]
(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)
Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?
MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩🍳👌😘 mwah
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MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.
Asmo: Awww
Beel: :(
Belphie: What?!
Satan: Why?
MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴
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Asmo: But I thought you could-
MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
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Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-
MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*
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Solomon: What is this weird potion.
MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*
MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖
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MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?
MC: Tsch tsch tsch
Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond
MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it
Lucifer: Fair enough
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Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?
MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔
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MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨
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(after the Belphie incident)
MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too
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MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜
Belphie: My butt still hurts...
MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)
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*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*
Mammon: W-what's that???
Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose
Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!
MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)
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MC: Who has summoned me?
Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.
MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨
Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.
MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*
Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable
MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-
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Barbatos: MC...
MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.
Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?
MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*
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Diavolo: Do you like my castle?
MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.
MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows
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Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...
MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳
MC: Real music here 😌
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MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*
Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...
MC: That's the spirit!
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MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!
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Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.
Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.
MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼
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Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!
MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...
MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?
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Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*
Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*
MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*
MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!
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MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊
Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-
MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)
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Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?
MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*
MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...
Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?
MC: The secret is to use your wrist-
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MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?
Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?
MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you
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MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?
Simeon: ...what? :)
MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!
MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there
MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.
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Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.
MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)
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MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is
Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.
Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.
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MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜♀️🧜♂️
(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)
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MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*
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Belphie: *misbehaving*
MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)
MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*
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MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ
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MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)
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MC: Where is my țuică? :)
Everyone: *quiet*
MC: I won't get mad :)
MC:
MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)
Everybody: *runs*
MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use
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Levi: *exists*
MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*
MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)
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MC: Lucifer you don't understand!
MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!
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MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore
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Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight
MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)
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MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică
MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)
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Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe
MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)
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Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?
MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)
Mammon, clueless: ok thanks
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MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like
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Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?
MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.
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Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*
Asmo: Please love me!
MC: *already in wedding attire*
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MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!
MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?
MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT
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MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*
MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)
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MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again
MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.
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MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)
MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)
MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition
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Diavolo: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)
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Simeon: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)
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Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...
MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)
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MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?
MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake
MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house
MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN
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MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so
MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*
MC: that works wonders for me
#IM SLEEPY SO IM GOING TO SLEEP AT 7AM BYYYE#♡♡♡#romanian mc#romanian mc obey me#obey me#obey me swd#Diavolo e dilf nu ați auzit de la mine#romanian#romania
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