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clifford5sosx · 4 years

Text

5SOS Chat

Who: The 5SOS Boys

What: Being themselves

Where: A Hotel in LA

When: Aug 3, 2020

Rating: Let’s give it a PG-13 for language and sex references

@famelukehemmings, @calumshoodstf, @latenightdemons

Ashton: Knock knock.

Calum: no ash

Ashton: I regret writing a song about you right now.

Luke: What did I just walk into

Ashton: Knock knock.

Luke: No Ashton

Ashton: I didn't write a song about you

Luke: Okay and?

Ashton: ???? Well I couldn't say I regretted writing one so I went with that.

Calum: you wrote a song for me??

Calum: it was best years, wasn’t it? you guys, you shouldn’t have

Luke: Shut up Calum

Ashton: Calum, please picture my eye roll.

Calum: ew don’t make me do that

Ashton: Mikey is about to be my favorite.

Luke: HEY

Calum: mikey is mine ash

Calum: malum all the way

Ashton: 🙄 fair.

Ashton: Shut up, Like. You've always been my favorite.

Ashton: Luke too.

Calum: Is like luke’s evil twin brother?

Ashton: Oh god.

Ashton: I don't need two of them.

Luke: I'll give you two of me out of fucking spite now

Luke: Trying to trade my ass in for Mikey

Calum: All mikey does is play video games, he’s the least problematic of us all

Ashton: I wasn't trading the ass, I was reading the whole human.

Luke: Fine! I'll trade you in for another Drummer

Ashton: You act like I could trade you actually.

Luke: It wouldn't stop you from trying

Ashton: .......

Luke: Yeah that's what I thought

Ashton: 🙄

Luke: Did you just roll your eyes at me?

Ashton: I did. Gonna do something about it?

Luke: You are so lucky I love you

Ashton: 🙄

Luke: Slowly that love is turning to hatred

Ashton: Is it?

Luke: Yes it is

Ashton: I don't even know what love is.

Luke: Well that’s a depressing thought

Calum: could you guys not

Ashton: Not what?

Ashton: Sometimes thoughts are depressing.

Luke: I'm aware of how depressing thoughts can be.

Ashton: I was also joking. I love my drums.

Luke: Your drums don't count they're inatimate

Ashton: Just break my heart, why don't you?

Luke: I would never break your heart!

Ashton: 🤔

Calum: yes he would

Luke: I would not!

Calum: I know, I know.

Mikey: Boys, what are you doing? And who is breaking who?

Luke: No one is breaking anyone!

Mikey: What? I was looking forward to some action. Damn.

Luke: Well you've come to the wrong place

Mikey: What about Ashton's heart?

Luke: He said I was breaking his heart because he loves his drums and I told him that his drum don't count because they're inatimate

Ashton: He's breaking my heart.

Mikey: For him, that counts.

Calum: Ladies please

Luke: IM NOT BREAKING YOUR HEART

Mikey: I don't think he's had a real relationship since.... shit

Ashton: It's BROKEN.

Luke: I'm just gonna shut up now

Ashton: ..........I've had more fuck buddies then actual partners, yes. You're correct.

Luke: I don't want to hear about all your fuck buddies

Calum: I’m almost to the hotel, put on your happy face because I know you fuckers have missed me.

Mikey: I hope you aren't talking about drumsticks

Luke: I'll get right on that Calum

Mikey: Any word on our housing situation. Do we get a beach house or what?

Ashton: Ew Michael.

Ashton: Why not, Luke?

Ashton: What's a happy face.

Luke: I'm working on it, I have to talk to Harry about it but I'm sure the offer is still on the table

Calum: Yes, let’s get a fucking beach house!

Calum: Please, I wanna play bass shirtless in the sunset while the waves are crashing

Ashton: A beach house.

Mikey: For us, it better be. I'm gonna sit out on the beach at sunset and get shitfaced.

Calum: Yes. This will be fun ash

Ashton: I'm terrified

Luke: Listen I felt pressuered into doing this! The house was supposed to be mine not for all of us

Luke: But I love you all so why not

Ashton: I just kind of nod my head and agree.

Luke: Well if it brings us all together again I'm okay with it

Mikey: Plus there is Ashton's heart

Ashton: What about my heart.

Ashton: Awww Luke misses us.

Luke: What about his heart?

Luke: Shut up, Ashton

Ashton: Make me.

Luke: I'll pass

Ashton: 🙄

Luke: Why are you always rolling your eyes at me?

Mikey: I'm not

Mikey: I'm just saying

Luke: I think I should second guess actually living with the three of you

Ashton: My heart????? What about my heart?

Ashton: .........because rolling my eyes is fun.

Luke: I don't know! It was Mikey! I don't even think he knows what he was talking about

Ashton: 🤣

Ashton: I'm teaching myself tiktok dances.

Luke: Half the time I don't even know what he's talking about

Luke: NO

Luke: NO NO NO! You will not fall victim to that!

Ashton: ....But I look good.

Luke: I-

Luke: No comment

Mikey: His arms are big.

Mikey: Again - just saying.

Mikey: I'm also a great roommate

Mikey: Cal is too, and what will he do without us

Luke: I've noticed how big his arms are

Ashton: There's one that's like "come and fuck my life up" and then you push the camera down. And I'm kind of amused by it.

Ashton: Mikey has a point.

Mikey: Mikey - who, what?

Ashton: I said you had a pooooint.

Luke: See he doesn't even know what he talks about

Mikey: Yeah, that's what I thought. Just checking.

Luke: You had a point Mikey

Ashton: 🤣

Ashton: Also it's nice to know "I look good" gets a no comment

Luke: I said no comment

Luke: Thats kinda a comment

Mikey: I said your arms were big and Luke agreed

Luke: No one wants my comment trust me on this

Mikey: I'm not sure I want to guess at that comment

Luke: No Mikey you don't

Ashton: I'm curious.

Luke: No Ashton, you're not

Ashton: 👀

Luke: You're not, Irwin

Ashton: 👀

Luke: Stop giving me those eyes!

Ashton: 👀👀

Luke: Ashton Fletcher Irwin!

Ashton: Yes?

Luke: Stop it

Ashton: But.

Luke: but what? there's no buts

Ashton: I have a butt.

Luke: Yes yes you do

Ashton: ......

Luke: Okay time to change the subject

Ashton: I'm learning a lot.

Mikey: Do you guys want to share a room?

Ashton: What.

Mikey: Also, what about Luke? He's really tall, knows how to dress.

Ashton: He's basically a bean stalk with a good fashion sense.

Luke: Shut the fuck up, Clifford

Luke: Well gee thanks

Ashton: Was a compliment.

Luke: Calling me a bean stalk is not a compliment

Mikey: He's filled out a bit. Five years ago he was a beanstalk.

Mikey: I'm just helping.

Ashton: Helping...?

Luke: Mikey, Mikey darling just stop

Mikey: I'm helping. Come on, Ash, it's your turn.

Ashton: You've gotta tell me what you're helping with.

Ashton: Because what am I taking a turn on?!

Mikey: Okay what about him turns you on?

Luke: MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD

Luke: WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING THIS

Ashton: I just choked.

Mikey: Why? I'm helping. That's Doctor Clifford to you.

Ashton: And I'm highly amused.

Luke: Helping with what?

Luke: I swear to god I am going to hurt you

Mikey: Ashton, you did not answer my question.

Ashton: 🤣

Ashton: I love seeing him sweat. This is amusimg

Luke: Mikey! Stop it!

Luke: Oh my god I'm trading this whole damn band in

Calum: Hey! What did I do!

Calum: I walk back in this chat and I see you’re trading us in?

Luke: Okay I'll keep Cal

Luke: But you two are gone

Ashton: Because Mikey's helping

Calum: Thank you 😍

Luke: HELPING WITH WHAT?!

Luke: Embarassing me?

Ashton: And I have no idea what he's helping with

Calum: In other news

Mikey: Luke, his answer is everything, he just doesn't want to say.

Ashton: Calum.

Luke: Mikey stop it OMG

Calum: I might be a bit late getting to the hotel, I have a stop to make

Ashton: Are you getting laid.

Mikey: MAKE WHAT

Luke: I dont need to know about anyone getting laid

Ashton: Also how am I embarrassing you?!

Calum: Wow ash, you read me like a book

Calum: It’ll literally be like five minutes

Ashton:.......Man. I hope it doesn't take five minutes.

Luke: Not you, Ash! Mikey

Calum: Mate

Luke: la la la la I can't hear any of this

Ashton: I love fucking with all of you. It's fun.

Mikey: Sure you can. He's behind you staring at you all night.

Luke: jackass

Calum: It’s been a hot minute, so I gotta do what I gotta do.

Calum: Text you all soon

Luke: MICHAEL STOP OH MY GOD

Calum: 😍

Mikey: Cal, you sound like you gotta piss, not fuck

Calum: Jesus mate, what do you want me to say??

Calum: I’m about to go to pound town on a girl I hardly know??

Calum: Luke is going to literally die of embarrassment

Mikey: I know what you meant, but never say it'll just take a minute

Mikey: Unless it will just take a minute

Mikey: and that is a little sad.

Calum: No, idk. I don’t know her.

Ashton: I'm crying.

Calum: Literally tinder over here is nuts

Calum: Aussie girls are hard to get but American girls??

Mikey: Sex first then you can get to know her.

Calum: EXACTLY

Mikey: See, Mikey solves everything

Ashton: ....this is the first thing you've solved all night.

Calum: Oh what the fuck

Calum: She dipped

Mikey: I'm working on the rest. I think you and Luke should share a room

Luke: No Michael

Ashton: Why?

Luke: Did Calum get stood up?

Calum: I did... what the fuck man

Luke: Lets focus on that, K Mikey?

Luke: Focus on Cal

Calum: No, it’s fine. Damnit.

Calum: Okay, alright, I’m heading to the hotel now.

Ashton: Michael, answer me and then we focus on Cal.

Mikey: Wait, what?

Luke: Fuck

Calum: Let’s all just regroup. I’m hugging all of you as soon as I see you all.

Mikey: How? Were you supposed to meet her?

Calum: Yes.

Calum: And she backed out.

Calum: I’m not mad

Ashton: She's a dumb shit.

Mikey: Oh shit, what was she doing instead?

Calum: Right? I’m a stud. How could anyone resist these curls?

Calum: Or

Mikey: curls?

Luke: Dude maybe she got nervous

Ashton: You're adorable.

Luke: And where tf do you have curls?!

Calum: Yeah, idk where curls came from

Calum: I used to have curls

Ashton: 🤣

Calum: Should I bring them back?

Luke: I have curls

Luke: NO

Ashton: Yes you should.

Luke: Thats my thing now

Calum: Remember that poll I did on Twitter

Calum: And I said no curls

Calum: Well

Calum: Now I’m gonna put a new one up

Ashton: 🤣

#Here it is #and I'm home at last so replies coming

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