#but how mushi really does care for yokomizo so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missy-0-piink · 1 year

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LMAOAOAO yes that"s why i said that, yokomizo flashbacks

Bro?? 🤨

I’m afraid I don’t see it 😔

If you did ask him to choke you, this is what would happen:

TW: PANIC ATTACK, PTSD FLASHBACK, HURT/COMFORT

————

You had asked him to do it

And he loves you too much to deny you, especially when you give him those puppy dog eyes

And the way you were ecstatic when he hesitantly agreed?

God, he felt like he had to

He softly wrapped his hand around your throat, far from enough to actually achieve the desired affect

You urged him to go further, pushing down on his had

And he obliged

But when the first choked out noise you made escaped you?

He froze, face going pale and he started hyperventilating

He ripped his hand away from your throat like it had burned him, bringing it up to cover the lower part of his face as he stared at you in fear

Not fearing you, but fearing himself

You quickly sat up, reaching a hand out to place on his shoulder, but he didn’t react

“No!” He sobbed violently, curling in on himself, wide eyes staring at something not in reality, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, m’sorry, imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry-“

“Mushi!” You said slightly loud, trying to snap him out of it

Little did you know, that nickname only brought back memories this time, sad memories

“Yokomizo! Please don’t go! I’m so sorry” he choked out, almost wailing his late friends name, hands pulling at his hair as tears streamed down his face

You felt so guilty, you shouldn’t have asked

He never told you how he killed his friend, but now you could guess

You started rubbing slow circles into his shoulder, trying to ground him,

“Mushitarou, it me, (name). You’re here, in our bedroom, not there,” you said gently, right near his ear,

He blinked, still breathing heavily and sobbing, but less intensely by the minute and seeming to slowly come to

“look, can you feel me touching your shoulder?” You asked, and he nodded slowly, you then gently brought his hand away from his face and to the fluffy blankets on the bed (courtesy of you) , “what does this feel like?”

“It-it’s the blanket-“ his breath hitched, “- you b-bought”

“Yeah, you always hate it because the fluff gets on your clothes” you chuckle,

He seemed to at least be able to tell what room he’s in, but you still had to be slow and careful,

“Look around the room, tell me what you see” you ask softly

“There-there’s-“ he gasped, “-there’s you,”

“Good,” you chuckled, surprised , “what else?”

“And there’s… t-the nightstand?”

“Mhm, what about the sheets, what colours are they?”

“Grey and white..” he said,

Good, you thought

His voice and breathing were becoming more stable, his shaking slowly subsiding

“What about the patterns?” You asked

“Some… some kind geometric design” he said, studying the sheets he didn’t spare so much as a glance to before

“Good… do you feel a bit better?” You question, worried

“Yeah…” he says, turning his head away from you, “I’m sorry… I-“

Before he could say another word, you grabbed him by his chin and turned his face towards you

His eyes were red rimmed, still glassy, but the tears have stopped

He looked shameful

“Don’t!” You say sternly, “it wasn’t your fault, and it’s ok. Sometimes, things like this happen”

“But I- should have told you! I’ve now ruined ruined your view of me!” He says, a hysterical edge to his voice

“You didn’t ‘have’ to tell me anything!” You say, “you’re not required to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with, and you haven’t ruined anything! If anything, this just brings us closer together”

“H-how haven’t I ruined anything? I’ve made a fool of myself!” He asks, dumbfounded. Surely seeing him this weak made you think he was pathetic?

“If we didn’t like what society deems the darkest, and most vulnerable parts of each other, then would it really be love at all?” You say to him

in this moment, with the way you were looking at him? Full of adoration?he thinks you could preach anything to him and he’d believe it

You pull him in for a hug, which he gladly melts into,

“I’m sorry that this brought up those memories,” you say regretfully, “do you… want to talk about it?”

His voice is unsure when he answers, “if it’s alright with you… I’d rather not”

“Of course!” You reply happily, “well then, maybe we should continue that show we were watching the other day!”

“Yeah” he says,

He thinks- no, he knows- he’ll love you forever

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungoustraydogs #mushitaro oguri #bsd mushitarou #Mushitarou x reader #mushitarou oguri x reader

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

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Finally responding, and augh I really want to know about Mushi's past as well, especially with that line about his father, yeah... I love his goofy personality, but he definitely strikes me (similar to all you said in the last post) as the type that was lonely as a kid and didn't have many friends to share his interests with, so he tried to mask said loneliness with his eternal pompous, cocky, tsundere attitude. But anyone who knows him intimately, like Yokomizo did, knows that he's actually a very kind and sentimental person deep down :' ) which is what makes me so emotional about him, how deeply he seems to care despite how much he tries to hide it, and how he probably doesn't see himself as much of a good person, even prior to killing Yokomizo... I know canon pretty much implies that the whole plan was carried out long before Yokomizo's illness started seriously affecting him, but I am a lover of angst and hurt/comfort lmao so I really love to imagine Mushitarou taking care of him (and this is what I want to write about)... He just seems so caring and gentle and, again, sentimental, so I'm sure he was very good at that and that it brought both of them even closer together before Yokomizo's inevitable death (and so I headcanon that Mushi has some medical knowledge from having to deal with all of that... ). He really did so much for Yokomizo, despite how damaging it was to himself, cause I get the sense that they were pretty much all each other had 💔 Anyone would be lucky to have Mushi as a friend (which is why it hurts so much when Poe says he looks like someone who doesn't have many friends 😭 Of course, that's changed now 🥹) 💔 He and Ango really are similar to me, beyond just the obvious "dead best friend and guilt over causing said death" angle, and I love them for similar reasons; they both appear so uptight and strict on the outside, but are really just incredibly soft and sentimental and are stuck in the past, unable to move on yet trying to hide from their immense grief over what they once had, that is now forever lost. I'm really happy Asagiri put them together because it just makes SO much sense, they're so alike in so many ways, and I really need both of them to come back because I need to see more of their dynamic together and see how they help each other grow. Ango is one of my other favorite characters (the buraiha as a whole tbh, of course) and it's so meaningful to me that Mushi is the one who prompted that scene with him reminiscing about Dazai and Oda 😭🥹💖💔 augh... it's just so good, it gives me so many feelings. Asagiri, bring Mushi back!! Bring both of them back!!

Hey again! Always nice to hear your thoughts; they're really fun to read.

Mm, I'm super intrigued by Ranpo's seiyuu commenting on Mushitaro and his arc in the latest interview. The implication that things may not have gone the same way if he was less clumsy and a little more honest with himself... does that refer to his ultimate defeat by Ranpo? Or are we also talking about events that happened earlier?

I kind of always interpreted the situation with Yokomizo as "there was no other way this could've gone". That's why, to me, it's such a tragedy. But I'm intrigued by the notion that things might've been a little different if Mushitaro had been more honest.

All those times that he talked about killing him, all the arguing and the derision towards mysteries... it must've been fairly obvious to Yokomizo, but did Mushitaro ever actually say that he cared aloud to anyone other than the ghost of his friend? Really, would that have changed anything at all? I don't know if it would've, in the end. I think it was always going to end the same way.

You know, to be quite honest, I still don't know how to feel about Yokomizo's request of his friend. On the one hand, I think it's quite a selfish thing to ask. After all, it is not Yokomizo who will have to live with that grief, and I daresay, knowing Mushitaro's character, he was quite assured that he would follow through with it. On the other, I think you're right in saying they were all the other had. There was no one else who could've done it, and to die without regret is certainly the dream. It's a bit... screwed up, ultimately, but you also can't deny they were fond of each other. Then again, this is BSD, the story in which many dynamics are a little screwed up but there is also genuine care between them.

Yeah, I think Mushitaro is a good friend, honestly, or he can be. He's a bit... pathetic, and he's not exactly brave in any sense, but you can't deny he's very loyal to the people he cares for. Which is funny, because that's not the way he comes across at all at the beginning! He initially seems like the kind of person who would sell you to satan for one corn chip. Still, he has some serious issues with expressing anything genuine, though I think he's on his way, and I think Poe, at least, kind of gets it without him having to say anything.

The concept of the perfect murder trio as a friend group is so funny to me, because absolutely all of them are off in their own weird little worlds. Mushitaro probably thinks he is the normal one in the group but he is... very much not that. Except maybe when Ranpo and Poe are completely in sync with their deductions and he's just left standing there like :/

Having said that, I do think he brings a fun balance to the group. He's their resident reluctant tag-along, and he's got a pretty good grasp on mystery techniques from association with Yokomizo. And I think it's really sweet in a way how Ranpo seems to genuinely like him after such a short time, and I suspect Poe understands him a little better than most. A show in the style of Buzzfeed Unsolved with these three would be an absolute riot. I want a spinoff.

About Ango: I think you're right in the similarity, but I think there are some important differences worth noting between them too!

For one, Ango is actually genuinely threatening at times. He is described as a little bit scary when he needs to be, and I believe he often comes across as intimidating to the rest of the Special Division. (I hope they do the bit where he tracks down Atsushi, Kyouka and Mushitaro justice in the anime, because that scene definitely showcased that aspect of his reputation to me!) Suffice to say, I would not want Ango mad at me. Mushitaro, on the other hand... I really cannot stress enough how non-threatening this guy is. He's more creepy than anything else, and that's not even his real personality - that's when he's acting out the role of perfect murderer.

Secondly, Ango is actually more open about his feelings than Mushitaro ever was. Not to most people, but to his friends - he doesn't have much issue with expressing how he wishes they could all come back to Bar Lupin one day, and while he tended to roll his eyes at Dazai's antics and Odasaku's lack of reaction, he never really made it a secret that he was fond of them. Mushitaro, by contrast, was in denial about his conflicted feelings until he couldn't deny that he missed him any longer.

Finally, and related to the above point, they both deal with their emotions differently. Ango is able to suppress his emotions so he is cold and stoic for whatever his mission requires of him. (Interestingly enough, this capacity for cold-heartedness is something he sees as a weakness according to the guidebook - though I got this info from the wiki, so I don't know how reputable this info is. Still, it's interesting to consider the implications of that.) Mushitaro isn't really able to suppress, so he represses them instead under easier emotions and dramatic outbursts.

It's these contrasts that intrigue me a lot. There's room for development and growth, I think, with contrast.

Thank you again! I never get tired of talking about them! :D

#thanks for the ask!#bsd #bsd mushitaro #bsd yokomizo #bsd ranpo #bsd poe #bsd ango #storyrambles

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