who did this to them 😭

official persona 5 character review

i have only played up to the end of the third palace but i won’t be able to play for a few weeks because my sibling has ABANDONED ME (single tear) and we play together. and i’m bored. so HERES MY REVIEW of all the major characters so far. under read more because i do tend to ramble

- mc/joker (bob johnson)

why is my silent video game protagonist a catboy. it’s funny to me how much personality he manages to have despite being. yknow. a blank slate to project on. charisma! the dialogue options when you’re talking to shadows that are like “girl power!” live in my mind. joker is a girlboss to me. feminism win

- ryuji

he’s like one of those very excited big dogs where you’re like “oh good for you buddy! oh yeah buddy!” but you’re also just like man this is a bit much. on one hand he’s a very good guy but on the other hand sometimes i feel a very strong urge to insult him or just be mean to him in general, often for no particular reason. i like him i really do he just has that kind of personality. he’s a bro. his pirate thing is funny i know they’re named after like. historical figures/characters in literature(?) but captain kidd sounds so. it’s funny ok. it’s funny. he’d be a backyardagain. i like how he’s a mamas boy that’s cute. sorry about your leg buddy. he’s very. naive isn’t the right word but something like that. i still want to bully him. his grin looks dumb (endeared)

- morgana

i think it’s funny how big his head is when he’s in his metaverse mascot form he’s like a bobblehead i want him to fall over from the weight. the gags about his puppy crush on ann and his dislike of being called a cat are ANNOYING like sorry about your identity crisis but i really don’t care. he is cute sometimes though it’s not like i hate him but he’s a little annoying! you know! i’m not big on mascot characters in general haha

- ann

i adore ann she is cute and great and she deserves a lot better get this girl a better costume PLEASE. at the start of the game i was already rooting for her hardcore cause everyone was being terrible to her (very common occurrence that happens to like every character i have noticed. Society) and then she had that thing where she was like “let’s have him continue to live so he can suffer more” and i was like HELL YEAH ann is always saying the truth man. other thieves like “yah it wouldn’t be moral to kill them” (tho they’re cool with the mind control lol 🤔) but ann’s like “idc about that lol i just want him to suffer” SO TRUE. so true. i like her pigtails

- yusuke

ngl before i started playing i kind of already knew that i’d like this guy. i didn’t know much about him other than gay little artist but i knew. i was right. i am incredibly fond of this guy. partially because i too am a weirdo artist with parental issues (his persona awakening had me like *vibrates*) but mostly because he is just so funny. look at this guy! look at his stupid little tail! i lost my mind while doing his first confidant event thing he is GREAT. VERY cool. i just really like him. i could sit there and listen to his long impassioned speeches for a long time

- makoto

i was a big fairy tail fan in early middle school (unfortunate) and i play in dub so every time she opens her mouth i can only hear lucy/every other dub character her va has voiced cause there’s lots of them. ok first of all i’m not a big fan of her character archetype. yknow the straight laced student council president type. nothing personal just not my thing yknow! i do sympathize with her Issues of being useful and being used by the adults around her ofc but i’m not like INVESTED invested. tbf i haven’t known her too long. what’s his face mafia guy’s palace didn’t feel as personal as the last couple which probably contributes to that (underwhelming). on the other hand i really like that she has a motorcycle i was like ?! QUEEN and then THAT WAS HER CODENme??? very cool of her. i don’t care about her that much but i do think she is cool. if i were to encounter her irl i would be so intimidated

- akechi

he has not joined the team yet but he obviously will. i have not seen much of him yet but i do have many opinions. i did know he was this games komaeda archetype before playing because of the sheer amount of arguing i can vaguely remember scrolling past about him but even if i didn’t i would’ve instantly been able to tell. he’s fake as hell. i lose it every other sentence whenever he’s on screen WHO IS THIS GUY. “thesis antithesis *pretentious stuff*” “woowwwww you’re so interesting ^-^” “woahh look we happen to have met waiting for the train teehee” (whenever he pops up in those train scenes it feels like a jumpscare) there is a high percentage chance that i will like this guy a lot. there is a precedent for me really liking that sort of character and he is very entertaining. i hope he is just so unhinged. i mean there’s like a 99% chance he’s the ~mysterious guy causing all the accidents~ and also the “heh kid u were betrayed by one of your own” guy. so. he gives me the vibes of one of those really tiny cutesy dogs who are just incredibly aggressive. funny to me how ryuji hates him to an absurd degree like buddy chilll yeah he sucks but wowww. i LOVE that stupid doodle of him on the classroom chalkboard. the anime sparkles. his hair is ugly btw. we met on 6/9 which turns me into a 12 year old. i enjoyed our silly little tv debate

- futaba

i’m 99% sure that’s the name of the girl with the orange hair and glasses? i haven’t met her yet. she does the hackerman typing thing in the opening which is cute. i’m just mentioning her because i think she’s cute. she’s a techie with orange hair so i’ll probably like her

- fluffy brown hair girl

only character in the game art i haven’t mentioned so i kind of have to so it’s fair. she looks kind?? very fluffy. fluttershy is probably her favorite my little pony. she would eat bread

IN CONCLUSION everybody here needs therapy and also i’m mad that i got invested in a game with time / resource management / stealth mechanics :/ . the battle system is very cool. also the menus are the best character they’re SO sexy