#but even tho shams feels a very good connection to her father due to the fact that he actually acted like a father | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adamanteine · 18 days

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many thoughts about shams being able to sympathize with her mother but still being angry at her father (and having this one part of her that isn't able to forgive him) despite the fact that she is much closer to her father

#ethnic oldest daughter things!#her relationship with her mother is strained #yes!#but even tho shams feels a very good connection to her father due to the fact that he actually acted like a father #she feels angry at almost everything #at the fact that she lost her wings bc of the feud her father has #which deep down shams can understand is not entirely his fault #but its not something she can control #so even though her and her father spend a lot of time together and she trust him greatly there is still this part of her that cannot do it #100%...... she loves him YES but she is angry with him #i wouldnt say her relationship with him is bad in any way tho just a bit more complicated #and then you have her mother #who never actually acted like a mother #who just did her responsibilities without the actual motherly aspect of caring #who had her life ruined due to the misogyny of their society #and decided to reflect that same misogyny unto shams #(which took shams some time to genuinely be able to get rid off and make a choice for herself)#but she???? understands where her mother is coming from #she's helped so many women in her lifetime that she understands enough of what they go through in a society like theirs #and she knows her father may have been a good father but he was not a good husband #so any time she thinks of her mother its more sadness than anger #bc she wants so bad for them to have a better relationship #but at some points she also had to step back bc of how draining dealing with her is #but she understands in the end!!! where her mother is coming from #sorry i'm listening to ethel cain i'm just insane rn #&̲. 　 ¹ 　 out of character.

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