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collapsingintojupiter · 5 years

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Birthday Party

So before I begin, lemme just say--

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

It's @starbucks-remy 's birthday y'all, so please go and let them know how great they are!!

I asked them what they wanted to see and they mentioned Logince and Intrulogical, so I did my best to combine a little fluff and comedy with both! (Also I've already written a couple of fics with Logince fluff in them if you want to see 'em here and here). I wrote this kinda fast cause I really wanted to give it to @starbucks-remy on their birthday, so I’m sorry if it’s not as good? I tried I promise.

Anyways, without further ado:

Characters: Logan, Remus, Roman, Virgil, Remy, and Patton.

Relationships: Kind of a smash up but I tried to include some (mostly platonic) Intrulogical and Logince, as well as a little background Moxiety (also platonic).

Warnings: Uh, there’s like one curse? Food mention. Also Remus is in it, for those of you that are triggered by him. Please tell me if there’s something else I should add.

Logan sat on the front porch with a glass of water in one hand and a calculator in the other. A chemistry book was open on his lap, and he squinted against the bright sunlight overhead as he read the next question to himself and sipped at his water. Being hydrated, if he remembered correctly, would allow him to study more efficiently by improving his mood, focus, and concentration. The sunlight also provided valuable vitamin D. Speaking of which, maybe he could call Virgil, and they could--

"Logan!" A shout from down the road dragged his attention away from his studying and Logan looked up, surprised. Someone was approaching him at a rather unsteady run, almost as if they were injured. Remus…?

"Logan!" He called again. "LOGAN!"

Logan scrambled to his feet and threw the book aside, his heart pounding.

"What's wrong?" He shouted, running to Remus' side. "Are you hurt? Where's Roman? What happened? Is someone in danger?"

Remus stumbled to a stop and doubled over, gasping for breath. A black long-sleeved shirt hung loosely from his shoulders, matched by pants that were the most peculiar shade of green one had ever seen. Logan didn’t see any blood.

"It's…birthday… Roman...wanted...somethin' special…" Logan blinked at the other boy.

"Wait…what?" Remus grabbed his shoulders.

"Birthday!" He shouted in Logan's face. "Roman's birthday is today!" He coughed, sucked in a deep breath, and tried again.

"I need your car." Logan blinked.

"I…you've got to be kidding me!" He stumbled over his own words, but that didn't stop him. "I...I thought someone got...got hurt or something and you just need my car!? Where's your car? What…what about Roman? Where is he? I thought he was dead or something with all your shouting!"

"Well obviously I can't go shopping with him for his birthday present now can I?"

"And your car?" Logan tried to fight off the exasperation creeping into his voice.

"I got my license revoked." Remus grinned widely.

"You what?"

"Yeah. Apparently I'm a reckless driver or something--can we go?"

"I...I don't even know how you got a license…" Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Okay, so let me get this straight--"

"--Logan, neither of us are straight." That earned Remus a sharp glare, to which he only grinned in response.

"--So it's Roman's birthday and you're trying to…?" That statement actually made Remus stop and think, which was quite worrying to see when you knew the kinds of things that happened when you let Remus think. He scrunched up his face and puffed up his cheeks, then exhaled loudly through his nose.

"Uh... birthday party…" he said finally. "Like...a surprise? For Roman?"

God help me.

Logan sighed. "You want to use my house don't you?" Remus' eyes lit up at that.

"See, I knew I could count on you!" He broke into a run towards the garage.

"Wait...I didn't…" Logan let his voice trail off and sighed again as he watched the other boy go. Then he started after Remus. Looks like I'm in charge of this now, he thought to himself. I’ll have to put off studying until tomorrow morning. There was absolutely no way Logan could let Remus create this surprise party unsupervised, as someone's house was liable to end up catching fire if he did (and yeah, he was saying that from experience).

Remus was already seated in the passenger side of the car as Logan climbed in.

"You need to contact Remy, Virgil, and Patton right now," he told Remus as he started the car. "And put your seatbelt on. Tell the others to meet us at my place in twenty minutes. You're lucky my parents aren't home, but if we're doing this at my house this means you're agreeing to clean up afterwards. Understand?" Remus nodded and quickly pulled his phone out.

"Good."

---

Three figures were standing on the front porch when Logan and Remus got back. One, dressed in a blue polo and wearing glasses, another with shades down and a frappe in one hand, and the third hunched over in a purple and black patch jacket.

Remus barreled out of the car and insisted on carrying all of the bags into the house by himself--Logan had decided to pick up everything on his parents' grocery list while they were at the grocery store, so there were quite a few stacked up in the trunk. Of course, that didn't stop Remus. His arms were covered in the white plastic handles and he’d even wrapped several around his neck, despite Logan’s protests.

"You're going to choke yourself…" Logan sighed as Remus marched up the steps without heeding him, nodding to Virgil and accepting a hug from Patton as he followed.

"How'd it go?" Remy asked with a smirk, glancing up from his phone.

"We almost got arrested."

"Again?" Virgil snickered. "What happened this time?"

"THEY CHARGE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THE DONUTS!" Remus shouted over his shoulder.

"How'd he try to steal them?" Patton asked. Logan slapped a hand over Remus' mouth before he could blurt out the answer.

“Don’t you dare,” he hissed. He looked up at Patton. "Creatively," was all he said. He stepped past Remus and unlocked the house, leading everyone inside. "So this is a very last minute project, but I believe that we can accomplish our goal if we’re efficient at our jobs and work together." He winced as Remus roughly dumped the bags onto the kitchen counter. "Remy, let’s put you and Virgil in charge of decorating. Patton--"

"Uh, actually…" Patton cleared his throat. "Remus helped me come up with a good gift idea earlier…" Logan listened as he explained, and found himself nodding.

"Alright, you want to go take care of that, then?" Patton nodded and rushed off. "Okay, so slight plan change. Virgil, you and Remus will be in charge of the cake. Remy, I will assist you with the decorations. Any questions?"

"Yeah. Can you kill me?"

"I'm sure you two will be fine, Virgil." Logan looked down at his watch. "We have three hours. Let's get going."

Virgil disappeared into the kitchen, muttering, and Remus pranced after him. Logan worried about it for a minute, but that was why he'd put Virgil in there with Remus. Surely he'd be able to handle him.

"Alright, so I've got some ideas. Ya think you can rig something up that'll drop confetti from overhead when you trigger it? Say, when someone opens the front door?" Remy looked back from where he was examining the walls, eyebrows raised. Logan thought about his suggestion for a moment, then nodded.

"I'll see what I can do," he answered. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to hang up steamers and make a sign that'll hang from…probably here," Remy motioned to the ceiling and set his coffee down on the kitchen counter.

Logan set about gathering the materials he'd need for Remy's suggested confetti drop, and he was in the middle of trying to figure out what kind of tape to use when pandemonium erupted from the kitchen.

"Remus, we're trying to hurry here!"

"Oh don't worry, I can mix it really fast!"

"REMUS NO!"

A high-pitched whirring sound came from the kitchen, and Logan and Remy burst into the room just as a cloud of flour and other ingredients exploded from the bowl. Instantly, everything within a twenty-foot radius was coated in white powder. Virgil shrieked and before Logan knew what was happening he was on top of the fridge, his hood pulled down over his face and his hands over his ears. Remus scrambled to stop the mixer, and ended up toppling the entire bowl of cake batter over onto the floor. The crash of breaking glass combined with the string of curses that came from Remus' mouth were enough to make anybody's ears ring, the mixer was still running, and how the hell did Virgil even get on top of the fridge?

Logan shook himself, then suddenly he was hurrying over towards Remus and the chaos he'd created, being careful not to step on any glass as he did so. He reached over and shut off the mixer, and the three exchanged glances over the now flour-coated kitchen.

"Huh," Remus said finally. " So that's why you're not supposed to do that." Logan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing a small avalanche of flour to join the rest of the disaster on the floor.

"Go get a broom, Remus, I'll start wiping off the counters. Remy, can you get Virgil down from the fridge?"

"Oh thanks, give me that job,” Remy muttered.

“Would you prefer wiping down the counters?”

“I would to getting bit by that bitch-ass vampire!” Logan sighed again and handed Remy the sponge.

“Here, take this then.” Remy took the sponge and he started over to where Virgil was still sitting on top of the fridge. His hands hadn’t come away from his ears yet. Logan reached up and gently nudged his knee with one hand.

“It stopped,” he said quietly.

“Hsssssssss…” Virgil opened his eyes and glowered down at Logan. “I’m not getting down and you can’t make me. Not with that...not with Remus in here!”

“He’s not in here right now.” The other glanced up at this and seemed to consider this, but he didn’t move.

“Look...I’ll trade with you,” Logan offered. “I’ll help Remus cook, and you can set up the confetti drop. That shouldn’t be too complicated and you won’t have to interact with him anymore, alright?” Virgil thought over the offer for a moment, then nodded slowly and slid off the top of the fridge.

“How did you even get up there?” Remy asked as he exited the kitchen.

“I have my ways.” The one in shades rolled his eyes and tossed the sponge to Logan, who only barely managed to catch it and got flour all over his shirt as a result.

“Have fun.” Then Remy was gone. Logan began wiping everything down with the sponge and Remus came in a few minutes later, having finally located a broom. Somehow they managed to clean up the mess without any further incidents, and moved on to making the cake...again. There’s a reason I bought at least three boxes of cake mix, after all, Logan thought to himself with a small sigh. Once all the ingredients were in the bowl Remus moved to turn the mixer on again, but Logan stopped him before he could.

“I don’t think so,” he grumbled. “Already had to get Virgil off the fridge once today.” “How’d he do that, by the way?”

“Who knows?” He started the mixer--slowly, this time, and soon enough they had a decent bowl full of cake batter.

“Remus, can you get me a glass pan?” He went in search of one while Logan went looking for the oil spray.

“Can I do it?” Remus asked when they met back at the kitchen counter. How much of a mess could he cause? Logan hesitantly handed it to Remus, who promptly sprayed the oil in his own face. Okay, a lot of a mess.

“Dammit!” Remus quietly cursed and turned the nozzle, and before he knew what was happening Logan’s glasses were coated in oil, along with the rest of his face.

“Remus!”

“SHIT!”

Logan fumbled with his glasses and tried to wipe the oil off with the corner of his shirt, but he only succeeded in smearing it all over the lenses.

“There, it’s in the pan!” Remus called. “How’d I do?”

“Remus, I can’t see.”

“Don’t worry! I can take care of--”

“--REMY!!”

“What’s happening? Who’s on fire...Logan?” He saw his sassy friend’s blurry form enter the room, and gestured helplessly towards the green and black blob on his right.

“Can you...stop him...get the cake in the oven...I gotta clean my glasses off now.” Logan stumbled over to the kitchen sink; Remus sounded outraged that Logan wasn’t trusting him with cake duty, and Remy was even more outraged at having been put in charge of the wildest, most chaotic human being that any of them had ever met.

“Okay it’s in, try not to burn the house down Remus...chow.” Logan heard Remy leave as he scrubbed at his glasses with dish soap, while Remus flopped down onto the floor to watch the cake bake. Well, he probably wasn’t actually watching it bake, but as long as the house wasn’t catching fire things were going pretty good as far as Logan was concerned. He finished getting the last of the oil off of his glasses, dried them, and breathed a sigh of relief as the world came back into focus around him. It always made him nervous to not be able to see, though he’d never admit it of course.

Soon the cake was ready and the decorations had been prepared for the surprise party. Patton came back, laughed at Virgil’s wild telling of the incident in the kitchen, told Remus he’d done well for trying, and helped Logan make the frosting for the cake while Remus disappeared in order to ‘take care of Roman’s present,’ as he’d said.

Whatever that meant.

“Got the pizza ordered?” Logan poked his head out of the kitchen once the cake was out and cooling off on the counter, directing his question at Remy.

“Hey, this bitch don’t mess around with pizza--of course I did.” Remy might’ve said more, but before he could continue Remus burst back into the house, holding a very oddly-wrapped something in his hands.

“THE SACRIFICE HAS BEEN PREPARED!” he shrieked. Virgil flinched away from the loud noise and shook his head, while Logan and Remy raised their eyebrows and exchanged slightly worried, slightly amused glances. Remus’ wrapping skills were tragic at best, and as Patton came out of the kitchen his eyes went wide at the sight.

“Do…do you...” he stopped himself and shook his head, retreating back into the kitchen. Logan glanced over at Remus.

“We’re putting all the gifts on the counter over there, go ahead and add yours,” he told the other boy. Remus nodded and hurried over, adding his gift to the others that had already been stacked there.

“You contact your brother?” Remus nodded quickly.

“Yup!” Logan nodded, checking the room around them to ensure that all was in order. The front entryway had been transformed by Remy and Virgil’s handiwork--the confetti drop was up and ready over the doorway, set to fall when the string which had been tied to the door handle was pulled. Streamers were hung up on the walls, balloons were scattered around the low ceiling, and a large sign that said “Happy Birthday Roman!” hung from the middle, done in Remy’s handwriting of course. Virgil’s handwriting was usually illegible, Logan’s looked more like chicken scratch than the work of an actual human, Remus couldn’t spell, and Patton’s cursive was impossible to decipher in even the best situations.

“The cake’s ready!” Patton came into the room, the cake balanced delicately in his hands. A blue, powdered sugar-coated apron hung from his shoulders and his hair was dusted white, as were his glasses. “Hey Logan--can you get the candles, please?”

“Certainly.” Logan retrieved the candles and lighter, arranging them on the cake in what he thought was a pleasing pattern. “Is Roman almost here?” he called to Remus. The other boy rushed to the window.

“He’s coming down the street right now!” he announced. “Light the candles!”

“What did you tell your brother, anyways?” Logan asked as he flicked the lighter on.

“I told him that you were texting him from my phone cause I got hurt and he needed to come over right away.” Patton’s eyes widened and he looked at Logan, who just shook his head.

“It’s definitely believable,” Remy said, sipping at his Starbucks.

“How have you still not finished your coffee?”

“I bring extra.” Logan would’ve continued his questioning (like, how does one bring extra coffee and where was Remy hiding it?), but then a knock sounded at the door. He strode forward and opened it a crack. Roman was standing there, and he looked awfully worried.

“Oh Lo, I’m so sorry about my idiot brother!” he burst out immediately, but before any more could be said Remus crashed into Logan, dragging the door open the rest of the way and yanking his brother into the house.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER!” He shouted as confetti rained down on them and Remy laughed his head off in the corner and Patton tried not to drop the cake. He came over with the dessert and they all started singing happy birthday to Roman--yes, even Logan did, though he’d never admit it later.

“Wait...wait...you’re not hurt! This was just a surprise…” Roman’s jaw dropped, and then he snapped his mouth shut. “Remus! I thought you’d killed yourself!” He dragged his brother into a hug. “You idiot! Come up with a better excuse next time, you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Sorry!” Remus said, though he was so excited that he didn’t sound sorry at all. “C’mon c’mon c’mon, we got you presents and everything!” Roman looked around at the decorations that had been put up for him, and once he was sure that his brother was okay and the anger from that had worn off he grinned like an idiot as he walked through the room. A rather illegally cute idiot as far as Logan was concerned, though of course he didn’t admit that as he ushered the others into the living room and brought in the packages.

“So the pizza should be here in a few minutes,” he said as the others sat down, “but we thought you’d like it if you could open your presents first.” Roman looked wide-eyed at the packages that had been set out in front of them, grinning from ear to ear. He reached first for a small, neatly packaged gift that had been wrapped in purple paper, and pulled it away to reveal a pair of red headphones. Virgil smiled awkwardly at his friend, who immediately reached across the room and pulled him into a hug.

“I hope you like it,” he said quietly.

“Like it? Like it? LIKE IT!? I love it!” Roman set the headphones down next to him, admiring them for a moment before reaching for a tiny silver package next.

“Now you can stop begging me to buy you coffee,” Remy grinned as Roman held up a Starbucks gift card.

“That’s awesome, thank you Remy!” Roman cast a confused look at the third package, which was wrapped in green, then looked at his brother. Remus looked like he was about to explode from sheer excitement and chaotic energy--it was a miracle he’d managed to stay quiet for as long as he had. He reached for it and pulled off the paper, holding up a large machete with a slightly-confused-but-excited expression.

“Remus…?” “I’ve been saving up to get us matching ones!” Remus burst out. “Now we can duel! Isn’t that gonna be awesome!?”

“Nice!” The two high-fived and Roman hugged his brother again. Patton looked at Remus and Logan and stood up.

“Just a minute,” he said quietly. He disappeared and came back a few minutes later, and Roman’s brow crinkled in confusion.

“A backpack? Why’s it...moving? Why does it look so heavy?” Roman reached for it as Patton gently handed it to him, and let out a squeal as he opened the top and a little golden puppy leaped out of the bag and started licking his face.

“Oh my gosh, a puppy!” He squealed. Patton and Remus both grinned, and Logan found himself smiling a little as well.

“Remus got permission from your parents, I got my dad’s help, and Logan picked the puppy out for you,” Patton explained. Roman reached for the little note that had been tied to the puppy’s collar, reading it out loud.

Dear Roman,

I hope you find this gift satisfactory, your brother mentioned that you had been wanting a dog for quite some time, so we thought that we would try to make your wish a reality. His name at the shelter was Tillie, but you may name him whatever you would like.

“You...amazing...nerd…” Roman slowly set the card down, then launched himself into Logan’s arms, hugging him tight. “Thank you so much!” They were suddenly joined by Remus, and out of the corner of his eye Logan saw Patton yell something and hug Virgil. The puppy wagged his little tail and tried to climb into Roman’s lap; he let go of Logan so that he could and then hugged the pup too. Remy watched them all from the couch, shaking his head and smirking.

“What should we name it?” Roman asked, looking around at the others.

“Shadow,” Virgil suggested. “Or maybe like, Killer, or Demon, or--”

“Chaos! Death! Destruction! Carrion! Carcass! Vulture! Decay!” Remus shouted, bouncing with every name idea.

“How about...Rose? Or Lily. Or Tulip. Or Dandelion. Or Daisy…” Patton tried, clearly trying to remember every flower name he’d ever heard.

“Frappe, Latte, Mocha, Capuchino, Coffee bean.” Remy yawned, pretending that he wasn’t interested in the conversation at all.

“The most popular dog names include Max, Buddy, Jack, Rocky, Bear, and Charlie,” Logan quoted.

“You googled most popular dog names?” Remy asked with a snort.

“I’m not good with names.” Logan shrugged. “But I figured I would do my best to contribute.”

“That’s so cute,” Patton gushed. “What do you think, Roman?” Roman held up the puppy, who wagged its tail and licked his face. He giggled.

“How about...Princess?” he said. “I like that name.”

“The dog is a male though,” Logan said, a little confused.

“Princess the Magnificent, then.” Roman laughed and set the puppy down.

“Princey for short,” Virgil said.

“I like that!” Roman nodded, then hugged the puppy to his chest again. “You’re so cute!” he told the puppy.

The doorbell rang.

“Pizza’s here,” Logan announced. Roman jumped up as he stood, then hugged him again.

“Thank you so much,” he whispered, “for making this the best birthday ever.”

#logan's bday #i did my best i hope you like it mate #you're amazing #fanfiction #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #remus #patton sanders #logan sanders #remy sanders #sleep sanders #virgil sanders #logince #intrulogical #moxiety

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