I think it’s bad writing that Nancy is so unaware/dismissive of Jonathan’s struggles with money and class. It’s not bad writing that she has this issue at all; when you grow up solidly middle-class in a society that won’t talk about that class openly and treats poverty as a problem that individuals and families can and should overcome with hard work (or, worse, a moral failing), you’re probably not going to have a thorough understanding of what it means to be poor, especially at a time when Americans were (on average) less skeptical about capitalism.

The problem is the extent of her dismissiveness. She’s not just forgetting that he has to worry about things she doesn’t; she’s actively unwilling to hear about it in Season 3. Now, her initial comments about the “Oliver Twist routine” can be chalked up to anger in a trying situation (Jonathan, also angry, had just unfairly characterized her feelings of frustration and humiliation at work as entitlement, and they’d both just been fired), but her apology to him later specifically doesn’t address those comments; she just says she shouldn’t have compared him to their sexist bosses. Then, in Season 4, it never occurs to her that money might be an issue for him re: visiting her or going to college. It’s very possible he didn’t try to explain, but she’s smart, and it’s not like it’s never come up. The overall impression the show gives is that she has a gigantic gap in her understanding when it comes to this subject. She can be kind and understanding and perceptive elsewhere, but money changes everything.

So, why is this bad writing? Some people really are just like that. Yet I don’t think the way she is about this in S3 and S4 is consistent with her actions in S1, and, while there are hints of her lack of understanding in S2, it’s portrayed with far more delicacy and subtlety as compared to later seasons. In the hotel, she expresses hurt that he didn’t make a move in the month following Will’s recovery from the Upside Down; he expresses disbelief that a month was too long, given everything he had going on with his family. Probably she doesn’t get the full extent of what he had to deal with, but there’s a lot else going on: he does kind of use his responsibilities with Will to avoid engaging with social situations that he finds difficult or painful, she probably wishes she hadn’t gotten back together with Steve at all (as it ultimately made her and Steve unhappy) and feels like Jonathan making a move would’ve prevented that, and he’s probably confused/annoyed that she got back with Steve at all (because, while I’m sure he thinks better of Steve for his interrupted apology and monster-fighting contributions, he’s still seen far less of Steve’s good qualities than Nancy has). And none of this prevents Nancy and Jonathan from being friendly with each other early in the season. She’s joking with him! They’ve obviously been talking about books and music! They want each other to be happy!

And, elsewhere, throughout the first two seasons, she’s so open to understanding him. She initially thinks it’s stupid that she has to stay home just because Will is missing, but she still recognizes how much it sucks for Jonathan. She’s the only person who outright validates his feelings about Lonnie, even when he tries to deflect. She picks up on why he won’t tell his mom about the demogorgon and tells him that it would be okay if he did. She even takes it on faith that the photo situation isn’t quite as bad as it looks and tries to understand what was going on. She’s been to his house at the most fucked-up times. She knows and seems to respect his mom. She was cool with helping exorcise his little brother. It’s one thing for her to dismiss his concerns as an attempt to play some kind of poverty card in the heat of the moment, or even to not feel too bad about it later re: him because he was being such a dick, but you’d think that later she’d be like “ugh, I should have just called him a fucking prick. It was wrong to bring his family’s very real problems into it.”

So, what’s the point of making her so hostile to acknowledging that money is a real issue for Jonathan? There are a couple explanations that have to do with the show’s general weaknesses. It has a problem writing established romantic relationships where people aren’t having big fights, and almost everyone has become emotionally stupider throughout the seasons. But there’s another explanation that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Nancy initially spends time with Jonathan and then gets together with him because he takes her goals and concerns seriously, rather than encouraging her to let them go. This relationship is reciprocal in S1—she’s always putting her hand out for him, too, as he searches for Will. It’s less so in S2, due to Jonathan being underwritten, but she’s still coming through for him in a big way during Will’s exorcism. Once they’re together in S3, though, it’s all about what he can and should do for her, with no room even to discuss his concerns. And now the show is pushing the idea that maybe it’s Steve who’s right for her. Steve, who has many good qualities and genuinely cares for her, but who has never taken her perspective seriously and shows no signs of starting now. What’s the message here? That a woman may think that she wants someone who take her goals seriously and doesn’t always have to take the lead, but ultimately she’ll run roughshod over him and won’t respect him? That what she really needs is someone who thinks she’s great but will ultimately take charge in all situations? That compromise and communication aren’t possible in a relationship? We don’t need this. Not in 2022.

(Some side notes: Jonathan, in the last two seasons, contributes to this dynamic by not telling her shit and not asserting boundaries. If the show cared more than a minuscule amount about Jonathan, this could be something, especially if Nancy realized that neither guy was right for her, because Steve doesn’t really know her and Jonathan…has too much of his own stuff to deal with, I guess? I also don’t think the show’s really trying to make a point about classism, except in the most half-assed way possible. Finally, I think there is an open question about how much of Jonathan’s fear of leaving his family and spending money on college is based in practical concerns and how much is psychological, but I don’t think it ultimately matters—it’s a real problem either way.)