Shoutout to knitblr for getting knitting trending today. Without that I very honestly would not have finished this sweater vest (that I started over a year ago)

Also she is for sale if anyone is interested (I have not set a price nor have I finished weaving in ends but feel free to hit me up if you want the measurements 👀)

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 27

Bev, exhausted from a day of surgery and tutoring, collapses in her bed.  Seven of Nine immediately enters her quarters.

Bev: We just had a 17 hour day, Seven.  What could you possibly need? Seven: I wanted to update you on the number of Borg we have in the recovery chamber. Bev: And that couldn’t wait until morning? Seven: There are surgeries in progress right now.  The number might change. Bev: FiNe. (is so tired she starts to change in front of Seven and prepare her bed for the evening) Seven: (in proper Seven fashion, unphased) We have 20 humanoids recovering from surgery right now.  Erin is able to speak in full sentences and sit up on her own now.  I predict she will make a full recovery. Bev: (wearing her blankets as capes) Splendid.  Now go away. Seven: (on autopilot, not budging) Counselor Troi reports that her counselors are beginning week 2 of their studies, and the results in conventional trauma volunteers are promising. Bev: (in the middle of a hot milk toddy, in a comfy nighty, sitting on the bed) Brilliant.  Leave. Seven: The Doctor--(interrupted by the sight of KJ coming out of the bathroom.  KJ sees the look on Bev’s face of pure exhaustion.) KJ: Seven, you’re dismissed.  That’s Starfleet for “Get out.” Seven: (as if back on Voyager) Yes, Captain. (turns and leaves)

KJ snickers and lays down next to a weary Bev.  Bev rolls over to face KJ.

Bev: Tell me about your trip here.  I’m really glad to see you. (small kiss)  KJ: (kisses back briefly) Bev, we can talk about that tomorrow when you’re not asleep with your eyes open. Bev: No, (yawn) no.  I want to know about your day.  What about your mother? (through a yawn) What did she say about u--(sleep)

KJ smiles.  She kisses Bev on the forehead as if to say, “Sleep well; I love you.”  She rolls over and tries to fall asleep.  As she does, visions of the last week fill her head.  She flashes back.

Gretchen Janeway: Katie.  My Katie. KJ: Hi, Mom.  (they hug for a while. from the hug)  GJ: I thought I’d never see you again. KJ: (confused) You’ve seen me since I got back from the Delta Quadrant. GJ: (incredulously) Are you forgetting you fought the Borg since then? KJ: Well...I, uh--I guess I forgot you knew about what was going on. GJ: (finally letting the hug go) Katie, I’m old, but I’m not blind.  Or deaf.  Do you know how many people ask me if we’re related when I’m out walking Rocco and Molly? (on cue, two large Irish setters emerge from behind the dog gate and tackle KJ) KJ: (laughing) I am so glad to see you guys!  (petting, loving on, and playing with them)  GJ: (sitting down on the floor) They’ve missed you so much. (Beat) She asks about you, you know? KJ: (a look as if her blood ran cold) You mean she woke up? GJ: It’s touch and go.  The last time she was awake, though, I told her how you were coming home. KJ: After all the damage done, she still remembers me. GJ: You’re her sister.  Of course she does. KJ: But her brain...it’s being eaten, cell by cell. GJ: You don’t have to put it that way. KJ: Yes, I do.  That’s what’s happening. GJ: Just because that’s the science of it doesn’t mean you have to actually phrase it that way.  KJ: What would you rather me say?  Hmm?  Would you rather me say that my baby sister tried to kill herself?  That she was dead for an hour?  That the doctors thought they saved her? GJ: They did save her, Kathryn. KJ: She had a stroke! GJ: One of their interns had asked to be in on the original surgery.  She wanted to know exactly how to repair a spine from that kind of fall.  She didn’t know she was sick. KJ: Is that supposed to make me feel better?   GJ: The intern was immediately terminated from her position.  Phoebe was supposed to make a full recovery.  They spent another full day in surgery to try to make sure they cleared all signs of the virus. KJ: Phoebe is literally being eaten alive, inside out, by an infection.   GJ: WHY do you have to say it like that?! KJ: BECAUSE. (struggling, trying not to sob) If I say it the way you want me to say it, I’m going to lose all my shit. GJ: (taking her to the couch gently.  Molly whines at KJ because she knows she’s upset.  KJ pets her absently and goes to the couch.  Molly hops up on the couch with her and tries to distract her.) Katie, come on.  Phoebe is dying, yes.  She won’t be with us anymore.  The way the doctors talk, it won’t be long now.  Before too long, she’ll be completely wasted away in front of us.  But the way I see it, this way, I get to say goodbye. KJ: What do you mean? GJ: If she would have succeeded, I would have never gotten the chance to tell her I love her one last time.  I never would have gotten to replicate her her favorite breakfast, or help her paint, or dictate a story she came up with.  I have cherished the last few years. And now that you’ve come home, I want you to cherish this time with her, too. KJ: What do I do? GJ: She’s your sister.  Treat her like you would normally. KJ: Okay.

GJ and KJ join hands.  They walk to a room.  The door opens on a very sick woman.  She’s completely emaciated; her collarbone juts out.  She’s in a lot of pain, but upon seeing KJ, she smiles broadly.   Rocco goes to her with a proud sense of loyalty.

Phoebe Janeway: Katie! KJ: (chuckling in spite of herself) Hey there, Pheebs.  (looking around, she sees a portrait of her, standing on a starship bridge with her hands on her hips.) What’s this? PJ: Didn’t you know? KJ: Know what? GJ: Oh, Katie.  You’d better sit down.

KJ in the present wakes up in tears.  She goes to the living area.  She replicates a fuzzy blanket and some coffee.  She takes a few sips of coffee and then, lying down on the couch, starts a few breathing exercises.  They don’t work, and she continues to try to cry quietly.

Bev wakes up to go to the bathroom.  When she sees KJ isn’t in bed, she gets up to look for her.

Bev: Kate? KJ: (sniffling) Yeah? Bev: (going to her on the couch)  Kate!  What’s wrong? KJ: (sobbing profusely) My sister killed herself because of me. Bev: What?  No.  (obviously still exhausted) What happened? KJ: Three years ago, when Voyager was declared lost, Starfleet command asked my sister to paint a portrait of me to hang at headquarters. She went up to the roof of her apartment building, and she began to paint. Hours later, when she was done, she sat back to look at the painting. My “death” weighed so heavily on her that she threw herself off the roof. Bev: Oh no, Kate.(stroking her hair) KJ: Someone found her immediately and got her to medical. Her spine and skull were severely fractured, but the doctors got right to it. One of the interns asked to assist in the surgery for first hand experience of how to fix a spine and skull that were so badly fractured. She didn’t realize she was very ill until halfway through the surgery. She became ill within a sterile environment with an extremely vulnerable patient unconscious before her. The doctors did all they could to clean her wounds out, but the day after her surgery was over, she had a massive stroke. The viral parasite was in place, and there was nothing they could do to remove it. Bev: Viral parasite? KJ: Basically, it’s a strain of a virus so vicious that it’s comparable to a parasite. (Bev nods) while I was home, she told me all this. Bev: and you think if you wouldn’t have left, she wouldn’t be like this. KJ: she would be alive and well and able to be my maid of honor if I get married. But she’s...not. She’s dead. (rocking back and forth, sobbing profusely) Bev: Computer, replicate weighted blanket, ten pounds, jersey knit. (Bev retrieves the blanket and places it over KJ’s shoulders. KJ relaxes a bit, but still collapses into a puddle of tears in Bev’s lap.) Kate, I am always going to be here for you. The late nights, the tears? I signed on for that, too. I will be there at the funeral, right by your side. Nothing is more important to me than you right now, right here. So cry all you need to. I’m going to shut up now and just hold you for as long as it takes. I love you.