12.02.2018 - Today I am having a "flare up day", a bad skin day. My skin took a turn for the worst last year and I was diagnosed with Erythrodermic Eczema. I currently keep it under control by taking immune suppresants and applying ointments and essential oils. I also have allergies too which doesn't help. I have had eczema since being just a few months old but it hasn't been until I've got older, am on social media and up to date with the world that it's affected me physically, mentally and emotionally. Today a little girl at the primary school I work at said "Miss, I wished I was as beautiful as you are"... When I have days like today where my skin is red raw, dry, itching and burning, I don't feel beautiful. People don't realise how long it takes you to get ready, the time that goes into preparing my skin for the day on top of doing my hair, my make-up and being a typical woman! There's people out there like that little girl at school that see beyond what is on the outside, but unfortunately there's some that don't. I'm not posting this for attention, I'm posting this for myself. To remind myself that it's not just what is on the outside but what is on the inside too. That on bad days like today where my skin has flared up, I'm in pain, unable to put make-up on, do my hair nicely and feel attractive that I am still me. Still the same person I am when I am having a good skin day, when my make-up is on, my hair is done nicely and I am feeling great. I've seen a lot more people on social media recently posting about body positivity, posting pure selfies showing off their imperfections and telling their stories instead of the typical ego boosting selfie stacked with filters and there's a few of them that have helped me get through the rough days *shout out to @bodyposipanda @bryneenee @carriehopefletcher @mypaleskinblog* so here's mine... Just love being you! ❤🙋‍♀️ #nofilter #eczema #skin #bodypositive #loveyourself #spreadthelove

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Methotrexate Mondays

Monday is my MTX day but I take it late Sunday night so I'm not as bad on Mondays but I'm still insanely exhausted its now 2pm and I haven't left my bed, my Mum just wakes me up in regular intervals to drink some water then go back to sleep oh also I work 5.30-9pm on Mondays yes a short shift but my god it kills me I am exhausted and achy I hate it 🙅🏼😭

I am completely and utterly distraught at this article I can't quite beleive it the extremity of my psoriasis caused my derm and my parents to worry about my mental health & I was advised counselling etc I was asked once 'Have you ever felt like killing yourself' My answer was 'Yes BUT I would never do it to my family friends couldn't bring myself to do it but I did feel like dissappearing until it was gone the pain is unbearable you learn to deal with the cosmetic side of it you learn to cope with the fact you're spotty but the pain you just cannot learn to deal with it is horrendous just imagine waking up in the night and your back, tummy legs etc etc feeling wet or sweaty but you're not wet or sweaty you are soaked in your own blood you have uncontrollably attacked your body with your own hands/nails and shredded your skin to peices and are now laying in a blood bath, imagine waking up in the morning and having to hoover up an entire body worth of skin EVERY SINGLE MORNING imagine not being able to wear underwear because your psoriasis has attacked the most smallest places imagine not being able to wear a bra because your underwire is ripping your skin off, imagine not being able to walk you're in that much pain Imagine waking up in the middle of the night and thinking ' I can't do this anymore i'm done' Just imagine that ok that was me every single one of those things has happend to me and so much more you want to give up you don't think you can do it any more but you can IT DOES GET BETTER its honestly the hardest thing i've been through in my entire life but it does get better I wish oh how I wish psoriasis blogs were reccomended to young people that have psoriasis, this could have been prevented this should NOT have happened I class this as a medical failure although P cannot be cured there is things that can be done, I really wish the NHS would suggest blogs like mine to people with psoriasis the forums are tragic they are doom and gloom and facts who gives a fuck what cells are being produced to much we wanna know what calms it down what creams actually make a difference what we use as coping mechanisms how we cover facial P I am furious and so upset all at the same time, I feel for this poor girls family my family are extremely upset after reading this article knowing that could have been me http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/beautiful-vibrant-nurse-took-life-4320696?ICID=FB_mirror_main

THIS IS FOR THE ANON I GOT THIS MORNING SORRY I'TS LATE AND CRAPPY I TRIED MY BEST xxxx

98% sure my body is on self destruct

On antibiotics because of a infection in the psoriasis on my scalp and my lympth nodes working overtime to try and drain them so have golf ball size lumps on the back of my head 4 tablets a day for a week Ugh! Also quick update my psoriasis is horrendous today I cant even bend without almost crying I'm in agony but calling a homeopath today (reccomended to me via the lady I work for) because to be honest I'm at my wits ends I will do anything right now

Had a very exciting phone call today... from a TV company called Betty and they are doing a new documentary and one of the issues raised is Psoriasis I spent about an hour on the phone to this poor woman gibbering away as I do about my P experience and how my ultimate aim is to help other people with P and that there just isnt enough awearness about it it was a very interesting and exciting phone call and shall update you all if anything it to come of this hehe