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neo-my-geo · 5 months

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HELLO THERE THIS ASK IS ENABLING YOU TO RAMBLE ABOUT THE DND AU!!!! AA!!!!

Thank you for this wonderful Christmas present, anon! I would love nothing more!

Time for some rapid fire random fun facts about the gang!

1. Scout

- Most of his brothers are full orcs, and the ones that aren't are half-goliath. He's a hard-core runt of the litter.

- He lost his foot after cussing out an incredibly powerful warlock and getting cursed. No healing magic could bring it back, so Dell took it as an opportunity to practice his prosthetics!

- He makes his Bonk himself. It is not sanctioned by the church.

- Scoutma is an orc paladin, and Scout loves her very much.

2. Jane Doe/Merasmus

- The inside of his tome shares an uncanny resemblance with Merasmus' apartment. Merasmus exclusively experiences the world through hearing what Jane says, so he's usually about 40% sure he knows what's going on. Jane can enter and exit at will, but Merasmus is bound to it.

- Going by how Jane describes him, Merasmus is about 89% sure Spy is a raccoon. He keeps a tally chart.

- Jane likes to boost his jumps by pointing his tome directly downward and casting fireball. Yes, this goes about as well as you'd expect.

- When Jane casts a spell with his tome, it's actually Merasmus firing it out of the window of the apartment into the void. They find their way out in around 2-6 seconds.

3. Pyro

- Pyro is often regarded as one of the most powerful sorcerers in the area; the only reason he isn't brought on every mission is because he doesn't use a lot of discretion when casting evocation spells.

- He has attempted (and nearly succeeded) to usurp a red dragon and their hoard before. The only reason he failed was because he had to go home for dinner.

- Dell is his favourite teammate by a long shot and he doesn't usually bother hiding it. He likes his cooking.

4. Heavy

- That is his legal name. He cracked a floor tile when he was born.

- Don't mistake his lack of a weapon for a lack of skill. He doesn't use a sword because he doesn't need to.

- Heavy worships the art of battle, and hasn't quite found a god that exemplifies it to his standards. A handful of dwarven gods have been fighting to have him as their warrior for the last hundred or so years.

5. Ta'Vish "Tafish" Degroot

- It's pronounced 'tah-vish.'

- He's a bit vain about his appearance and takes the longest of anyone to get ready in the morning.

- While he will usually be the first of the group to suggest talking things out over instant aggression, he will shift tracks entirely the second a firebomb is placed in his hands. That's the point of no return.

- Merasmus is still the reason he lost his eye. It was turned into a beholder that stalks the group from a distance and tries to attack them every few weeks, but it's no match for a group with a vampire, dragon(?), and legend-worthy paladin.

6. Dell

- He's the backbone of the guild, other than Pauling. He's very very good at making magically-infused inventions, including his own and Scout's prosthetics.

- His cannons are named Byron, Barnham, Bowie, and Odessa. They each fill their own niche, and Dell loves them all like they're his children.

- Byron is a wild card that will fire at anything he's pointing at. He's great at clearing a room.

- Barnham fires small healing pulses. They aren't a replacement for an actual healer, but they feel a hell of a lot better than being in death saves.

- Bowie is a flamethrower, incredibly patient, and great at standing guard in front of dungeons. He's Pyro and Sniper's favourite.

- Odessa is the largest, oldest, and packs the biggest punch, but she also takes much longer between shots than the others. She likes taking naps by the fireplace.

- Dell invented a self-moving wagon to get the party around. It's called the Subaru (no relation).

7. Dr. Ludwig/Archimedes

- He recently escaped being trapped in a pocket dimension for several hundred years, so he's still getting used to current society. He met another, absurdly dickish vampire while he was there, but he ditched him on his way out.

- He and Heavy are tied as the best hand-to-hand fighters in the guild. Point the two of them at a target and rest assured they'll be reduced to a fine red mist. Just maybe don't send them on bureaucratic missions.

- Whenever the beholder attempts to ambush them at night, Ludwig is happy to fight it off on his own. He sees it as a fun challenge.

- Archimedes is a lich, and Ludwig is his lair.

8. Sniper

- He's BLU, has 125 hit points, and an average walking speed. His loadout is stock, other than swapping his vest for a cloak.

- He still has his rifle, but he uses it sparingly because Dell is still working on mass-producing .30 caliber rounds. He's been aching for his huntsman ever since crossing over.

- He's still getting used to all of this, so be nice to him ok?

9. The Spy

- Yes, he includes the prefix when he introduces himself.

- Being both a soulknife and a changeling, his abilities include telepathy, shape-shifting (as long as it's into a medium-sized biped), invisibility, and the ability to summon knives with his mind.

- He dumped CON, so a light breeze can knock him over.

- Thieves' Cant is his first language, and it sounds suspiciously similar to Parisian French.

Thank you very very kindly to @pinapin for letting me use your sketches because I'm stuck away from my computer! Everyone say thank you pinapin

#ask #neo's got the mic #tf2 au #blink and youll miss the freedom fries #i love asks like these #keep em coming #tf2 #D&D #D&D au

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