#big marinara exists to a handful of people
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Burnt Toast - One
Summary: Everyone at Belle Reve has a secret. Even you, the new cook. But when Rick Flag smiles at you, you know everything will become unraveled.
A/N: Do I need to be starting a new series? No! Am I going to? Can’t stop me now. I hope you guys like it. I lost the list of urls of people who wanted to be tagged so I am so, so, so sorry to you all! This story will deal with themes of domestic violence so please do not read if this upsets you.
Pairing: Rick Flag/F!Reader
Rating for this Chapter: PG-13 for guns, violence, Harley being Harley
Word Count: 7.3k
Or read on Ao3 here!
Chapter One
“I can do this.” You didn’t believe that for a second. “I can do this!” Your hands shook as you tried to smooth the invisible wrinkles on your apron. “It is…just food.”
You had answered the ad in the paper like an idiot. The promised salary and benefits package had been too good to be true and the person you had first interviewed with had definitely smiled too wide to be trusted but you…needed the money. Needed the security. Needed to never go back to Gotham ever again.
So, when you went in for the second interview (which should have also been a red flag—even the four star restaurant in Gotham where you were a Sous Chef didn’t have two interviews) and showed off your best cacio e pepe and turkey scallopini, and learned where you would be cooking, you should have known better. Should have said no.
But a voice whispered at the back of your mind, reminding you that you needed to be safe. And where would be safer than behind the gates of a super-high-security prison, specifically in the wing filled with world-renowned criminals and metahumans?
“Thank you for this opportunity. I won’t let you down.” Stupid.
The first day went fairly well. Your hands only shook a half dozen times when you were handing over the plates but everyone did seem to enjoy their food. And there was a system in place, only a few of the prisoners were allowed in the cafeteria at the time—to avoid fights, you assumed—so you were able to learn almost everyone’s quirks fairly quickly. And most others were still confined to their cells during meal time so you would take a little cart around and push the food through the door, trying your best to be friendly. A woman you knew to be named Harley Quinn actually asked for seconds with a vibrant smile and a bit of your marinara sauce streaked on her cheek. You happily obliged, happier still to have her in the cafeteria instead of the box of barbed wire and fencing they called her cell. She had been your first and fiercest friend, happily holding up the line to talk with you about anything and everything and not leaving until you gave her an extra helping of the day’s dessert and even then, she lingered.
A man named Robert DuBois was the next to make you feel a little more at home behind all the trip wires and concrete. “This is good,” he said as he finished his serving of pumpkin-pie waffles when you came to collect his plate through his cell door. “A little heavy on the brown sugar.”
You just nodded, fighting a smile. “I’ll adjust the recipe. Thank you for the feedback.”
He chuckled at that and shook his head. “You’re too nice to be here. But I do like your food.”
It gave you a little bit of pep in your step for the rest of the day.
The job wasn’t that hard, really. You only had to make three meals a day for two dozen people and maybe a few more if the missions called for a few extra hands. It was just you, alone, in a big kitchen with an almost unlimited budget. You called the kitchen your little kingdom and were happy.
It had made you, for a moment or two, wonder why you were cooking in a prison. There were stereotypes about prison food for as long as prisons had existed and the muck you had seen growing in the fridges when you first arrived had only confused you further. They were suddenly feeding them well? You decided not to question it after a while; asking questions just made things more complicated. You knew that better than most.
But Harley seemed to know what you were thinking.
“Flag told Waller we’d behave better if we ate better,” Harley said with a wink about four months into your new position and after you had learned about Task Force X aka The Suicide Squad. “I think she just wanted him out of her office.”
Of course you had met Amanda Waller. You hardly ever cooked for her but she had commented on the steak and grilled asparagus you’d plated for her, half-asleep after being woken up at half past midnight just after another mission wrapped. “Not the worst,” she’d called it. You had guessed that was as close to a compliment you were ever going to get and you were thankful that you had barely any contact with her.
And then there was Rick Flag.
Always tired, perpetually exasperated, infuriatingly kind Colonel Rick Flag. He liked your mashed potatoes and always said thank you with a soft smile. He usually sat by himself in the cafeteria, or tried to. Harley often took the seat beside him. Sometimes Digger would join him and Harley. Sometimes not.
It was cute, in a strange way, to see how they cared for each other in their unique way. You supposed running around the world and saving it over and over again would form pretty strong bonds, no matter how infuriating.
And he was…cute. Handsome, actually. And you might have really liked how he filled out his holster but it wasn’t like you were about to do anything about your schoolgirl attraction, no matter how his soft, southern twang made your traitorous heart leap into your throat or how his smile always made you mirror the expression.
“Thank you, ma’am,” he said as you handed over the plate of avocado caprese salad with grilled chicken breast. You hurried to add a small chunk the ciabatta bread you’d just pulled from the cooling rack onto his plate before he stepped away.
“How many times do I have to tell you, call me Y/N?”
“I guess I need daily reminding.” His smile grew a little wider and you, flustered, immediately looked away.
Harley caught your eye and sent you an over-enthusiastic thumbs up, gaining Digger’s attention. “The fuck you doin’, Harls?”
“Y/N?”
Your head shot up to see Flag still standing in front of you, worry creasing his forehead. “Oh, um. I think I left the oven on.” And then you sprinted into the back, letting the heavy door swing closed behind you.
Jesus Christ.
This was not why you were here. This was the exact opposite of why you were here. You shouldn’t even be thinking about Rick…Flag or anyone in that way. Hadn’t you learned your lesson?
“I’m the only one who will ever love you. Don’t you see? Don’t you see, sweetness? It is me and you—forever.”
“You okay?”
You jumped at the sound of Harley’s voice and spun, your hip knocking into the hard metal prep table and scattering bits of avocado skin and chopped tomato onto the broken tile floor. “Oh, Harley, I don’t think you’re supposed to be back here. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
But Harley, as always, was undeterred. “You’re crying. Flag say something to you?”
You frowned and reached up and—yep—your fingers came back wet. “No, no, of course not. Flag’s been nothing but kind. All of you have.”
“Except for Blackguard,” Harley said with a sniff. She did not care for the young supervillain.
You chuckled and hurriedly wiped at your cheeks. “Seriously, ‘m fine.” You waved her on. “Don’t want to have security come back here and drag you out. You just got out of solitary.”
Harley sighed with a dramatic roll of her eyes. “You’re no fun.” But she turned and walked back toward the cafeteria.
“If, um, Flag asks, tell him it wasn’t him; he didn’t scare me off.” Why were you even saying this? It didn’t matter-
But the Queen of Gotham turned and winked. “Let ‘im squirm a bit. Builds character.”
The door swung shut behind and you had to smile—Rick Flag didn’t need to build character. He had plenty already. You liked him just fine.
But the smile faded quickly, too, with a terrible voice still whispering in your ear. “Sweetness, you know you can’t hide forever.”
But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try.
**
On your singular day off, letting your kitchen be occupied by the people who ran the other kitchen in the main wing of the prison, you sat down at your unsteady dining table and read the letter you’d picked up from the PO Box in the next town over.
Your nephew’s uneven handwriting on the front already had you smiling as you carefully opened the envelope. He wrote about his new school and the friends he made and finished the short letter with a drawing of a daisy because he remembered that you always liked them.
A second letter was folded behind the first and was decidedly less colorful. Your brother had always been full of smiles when you were growing up—it had been you two against the world. He had protected you when the world wanted to eat you alive. And now the tables had turned. You had to protect him.
But that was your fault, too.
His letter was short; how he was still enjoying his new job, how little Artie was his teacher’s favorite, how he missed you. And he (again) thanked you for the money you had given him before you all left Gotham. Miss you, asshole.
You chuckled and sniffled, feeling tears sting your eyes as you lifted the letter to your mouth to kiss the paper. “Miss you too, dumbass.”
You wrote a quick letter in return, telling them you were doing okay, that you’d made a few new friends, that you missed them both terribly, and you attached a recipe you’d thought up. It was simple enough your brother could follow it and you thought he and his son would both enjoy it. You didn’t write a return address and made sure it would be sent to the PO Box that your brother had set up, far away from his small apartment in Metropolis.
It was a precaution you both needed to take—because you had believed a terrible man when he said he loved you. He had ruined not only your life, but your brother and nephew’s too. And now you were alone.
**
“You seem sad.”
You looked up from your pan of French dip sandwiches on the bread you’d baked that morning and frowned at Cleo. She was new. Got caught trying to rob a bank with…rats and had been hauled off to Belle Reve. She was a handful of years younger than you and forever tired and nice. Nice and sweet and had a little rat on her shoulder who always waved to you when they came through the line.
“I’m fine, Cleo. I promise.”
“You have kind eyes,” she continued, earning a squeak from the Rat—Sebastian, you think his name was. “But they are sad. Even when you smile, you are sad.”
“Hurry up!” Blackguard groused. “I’m hungry!”
You pressed a smile to your face, trying to ignore her comments. Were you that easy to read? On the side of her tray, you put a tiny plate you’d found at a flea market, meant for Barbies you think, and filled it with a bit of cheese and spinach. Sebastian let out a happy squeak when he saw it. “Enjoy your lunch, Cleo.”
The girl nodded and took her tray, walking away to a table in the far corner, and you quickly plated the sandwich and small salad for Blackguard and ignored the rude comments he sent your way.
“I could kill him for you.”
You glanced up to see Harley next in line; you were pretty sure she had jumped the line because the last time you had seen her, she had been at the back of group. “That’s very sweet of you, Harley. But no.”
She shrugged and took her sandwich, making the au jus slosh a bit over the side of the tray. “Offer’s on the table, babe! Just let me know!”
The rest of the line waited their turn and you dutifully handed them food and made polite conversation with a few of them but you were exhausted. And Cleo was right. You were sad.
“Now, please don’t take this the wrong way,” an oh-so-familiar southern twang said, catching your attention. “But you look as exhausted as I feel.”
You had to chuckle at that and put an extra half of a sandwich on Rick’s plate before setting it on his tray. “Thank you for that, Rick. That’s what all the ladies want to hear.”
A pretty blush bloomed on his cheeks and he shook his head. “No, I mean, you look good. You always do. You’re beautiful.” The blush grew darker and your smile widened when he winced, finally stopping the deluge of words coming from his mouth. “Fuck. Sorry. I just think you may…need a nap.” His giant shoulders slumped. Defeated. “Just-just ignore me. I need a nap. Or a drink.”
You laughed and, yeah, it sounded tired. But he had called you beautiful and you hated how that was what you focused on. But it almost felt okay because it came from Rick. Sweet, kind Rick. “Coffee?” You asked at his retreating back.
He turned, brows pulled together. “What?”
And the courage you had only a second ago seemed to evaporate in an instant when you locked your eyes with his honey-colored gaze. “C-coffee? Do you…want some?” Your voice cracked on the last syllable like some lovesick pubescent teenager. Smooth.
But he smiled and you felt something your chest squeeze. “Yeah. That sounds good.”
You both settled on a time and you went about cleaning up, fighting a smile on your face.
“You owe me fifty bucks!” Harley’s voice rang out.
You glanced up to see Boomer grumble and pull out a stack of bills from god knows where and hand a rumpled fifty dollar bill to Harley who gleefully snatched it away.
She caught your eye and winked. “Thanks, babe!”
You didn’t know what that meant.
**
The coffee was…bad. You should have known because you were in a literal prison and you had no control over what brand was purchased or what creamers were stocked but damn. It was awful. You winced when you took a sip and Rick laughed.
“Sorry. Should’ve warned you.” But he kept drinking his own cup without even batting an eye.
“That is awful.”
“You get used to it after a bit.”
“I think I’ll just bring my own if I need coffee.” You pushed the steaming cup away with a grimace but huffed when Rick took it and downed that one, too. “You’re that tired? That you’d drink two cups of tar?”
He shrugged and you tried not to bite you lip when your eyes dragged across his shoulders. “Can I bribe you into bringing me good coffee?” Rick leaned forward, closer to you over the small table.
“Oh?” You asked, rising to the occasion without realizing you definitely, definitely should not. “What do you think my price is?”
Again, a pretty, vibrant red colored his cheeks and his large hands curled around the empty cup in his grip. He was pretty. “I honestly don’t know.”
And maybe it was your need for a friend outside the criminals who made you smile, but you opened your mouth and asked, “Can you just talk to me when you get the chance?” A wince crumpled your face as soon as you finished. That just sounded pathetic. “Actually, I-”
“I’d really like that.” And his smile was so sincere and his face was so open that you had to bite down your refusal. “ ‘s been a while since I’ve had any sort of conversation with somebody without a body count.”
“Who says I haven’t killed anyone?” Oh. A question for the ages. And you almost hated how Rick’s eyes seemed to light up with quiet laughter.
“So, what should our first topic of conversation be? I’m partial to the weather, food, and shitty 80s movies.”
And you relaxed with that, stress leaching from your shoulders. He was giving you an out. Keep it simple, keep it light. “You know I’m partial to food. So, let’s try 80’s movies for now.”
And that was how it started. You would trade terrible movies, giving the other a few days to watch them and then ‘discuss’ them the next time you met up between your meal prep in the kitchen and his missions and meetings with Waller.
“This was the worst movie I have ever seen.” Rick threw down the copy of ‘Space Mutiny’ onto the small table you’d both claimed as ‘yours’ in the shitty breakroom and settled into his chair. “Friendship over.”
You just laughed.
But Rick paid you back double with telling you to watch ‘The Pumaman.’ You nearly chucked the blu-ray case at his head when you saw him next. But it was good. The tradition continued for a few weeks only bracketed by one or two missions that kept him away.
It had been a late night in the kitchens. You’d promised Boomer eggs benedict for breakfast the next day and hadn’t realized your fridges were decidedly empty of everything you needed. You’d had to wait for the delivery and stocked the kitchen yourself when you heard someone knocking at the kitchen door. You turned, arms filled with five dozen eggs and six pounds of butter, to see Rick in the doorway. The light from the cafeteria framing him like some angry, beautiful angel. You quickly tried to erase that thought. (You were unsuccessful.)
He’d been out on a mission for the past week and must’ve just come back—it looked like he was still covered in grime and blood and had a bandage across the bridge of his nose.
“Hey! You’re back!” You glanced at that the clock and grimaced. It was nearing midnight. “You need to sleep.” The food in your arms was unceremoniously pushed into the nearest fridge and you turned to him. “I can make you some tea? Some of the guys asked for nighttime tea. I’m surprised Waller approved that purchase. I promise it’ll be better than that coffee I made.” You started toward the cabinet where the tea was kept, not even realizing he hadn’t said a word, when a warm hand grasped your wrist and pulled you to a stop.
“Can we…just watch a movie?” He was tired. You could hear it in his voice and he swayed on his feet. And you couldn’t tell him no. “Sure. Yeah, of course. Lead the way.”
And he did, his hand sliding down to gently grasp your hand and his roughened fingers curled around yours and you almost froze, nearly tripped over yourself as he pivoted and started to lead you out of the kitchens.
His office was small but well-kept with a desk and chair and a couch on the other side. He all but set you down on the couch and then clacked on his computer, shoving something into the drive and turning the screen toward the couch in the dark.
You were only about twenty minutes into the (god awful—what were you thinking, Olivia Newton-John?!) movie when Rick actually said something. “I usually can’t sleep after a mission like that.” He paused and you had to stop yourself from reaching out and grabbing his hand, trying to provide a miniscule bit of comfort. “We lost a few good ones today. Had some close calls.”
“You don’t have to tell me. It’s okay.”
Rick’s head lolled to the side and he gave you a soft smile that had you sighing. Dammit. “But I want to. Is that okay?”
“Of course it is.”
And so he did. He told you about how Carl Draper stepped into a nuclear reactor to keep it from exploding and saved the entire team after it was sabotaged by a guy who went by the name Parasite. Two other team members died along the way, keeping the world safe and without any of the thanks usually reserved for the so-called Justice League.
“Some of these guys are real assholes; world is better without ‘em anyway. But some of them…” he paused. “Some of them are good, deep down. Just a little hurt.”
And that was the last thing he said before his eyes closed and he started to snore.
You started to move, to get up to turn off the movie, but then Rick’s head slipped to your shoulder and you didn’t dare move. You could give him this, couldn’t you? Just a little bit of rest. Even if you knew this was all you could—nothing more. You learned your lesson and didn’t want to bring Rick down into your mess.
He obviously had enough to deal with.
So, you shifted just enough to let his head rest a little higher on your shoulder so his neck wouldn’t hurt, and suffered through the rest of Xanadu.
**
“Can you get me hair dye?”
You looked up from the pot of hoisin sauce you’d just brought out from the kitchen to see Harley waiting for you. “Hair dye?”
She hummed, smile widening. “I need a change. I just don’t think pink and blue are for me.” With a flick of her wrist, she tossed her long, white-blonde hair over her shoulders with a wink. “I either change my hair or change someone else’s. And I don’t think Flag would like to wake up with tangerine colored hair next time he goes to sleep on a mission.”
You chuckled and pivoted to grab the beef you’d been cooking all night and into the morning and placed it next to the sauce. “What color, Harley?”
She screeched with a laugh and clapped her hands. “Can you please, please, please get me red and black? I think I’d look so cute.”
You agreed as long as she promised to leave Rick’s hair alone and she pinky-promised before skipping back to Boomer’s side as he slept on one of the cafeteria tables, waiting for lunch to be served. You readied the rest of the food and made sure your stack of plates was ready before calling everyone forward and watching the usual jockeying for the first place in line.
It had been a quiet couple of weeks. The most ‘action’ your ragtag criminals had seen was being shipped out to Monaco and then immediately shipped back because the Justice League had arrived first. Waller had been horrendously embarrassed. Probably because it had been discovered a handful of senators had been having quite a party, completely unaware of the destruction around them. Classy.
But it was good to have everyone back so soon, and technically, Waller still needed to take ten years off everyone’s sentence because the mission had been completed. Just not by them.
It was a fun little loophole. Rick had been so proud when he told you, nearly glowing.
Movies in his office progressed to movies at your tiny little rental home which progressed to you trying to teach him how to cook. You poked fun at how he readily admitted to burning anything he tried to sauté but learned that he was particularly proud of the French toast recipe he learned from his grandma.
And today, he’d arrived at your little rental, on your rare day off, with a bag filled with the ingredients and all but told you to keep your hands away from the stove while he ‘worked.’ And you liked watching him work. Rick had a habit of sticking the tip of his tongue out of the side of his mouth when he was really concentrating, something you knew he did not do while out in the field. You’d seen the videos. He was smart. Lethal. Handsome. And it was dangerous enough to have him as a friend. But you were always bad at telling people, including yourself, no. And you wanted to be near him. Wanted to make him smile. Wanted…him. In any way you could have him. For however long this strange relationship lasted.
He set a plate full of the powdered sugar-covered treat in front of her with a timid smile. “I…hope you like it.”
You only smiled and picked up your fork and dug in. And while a bit of the corners were a bit burnt, it was delicious and you quickly demolished the entire serving, mopping up the last bit of butter slick syrup with your finger.
“I can make you more.”
You felt a hot wave of embarrassment wash over you and you hung your head in shame. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Rick shuffled the cheaply-made chair he currently occupied a little closer to yours, a shit-eating grin on his face. “I finally made something edible for you.”
“It was really, really good, Rick. I just ate it so-”
“You ate like you were hungry. Nothing wrong with a bit of an appetite. And I’m just happy I didn’t set off your fire alarm again.”
You chuckled and watched him cock his head to the side with a sweet smile. “You’re getting better. But really, give your Gram my best. I might want to steal that recipe from her.”
His smile widened. “She’ll love to hear that.”
You batted him away when he tried to clean up the (horrendous) mess he left behind and told him to pick a movie while he waited.
He huffed, grumbling something about “I made the mess, I should clean it” but did as he was told. The sink was soon filled with hot, soapy water and stung at your hands as you plunged the messy plates and pans deep. No matter how much time you had spent washing dishes before everything in Gotham, you still liked the sting, the bite of the hot water. You scrubbed mindlessly, yelling at Rick when he suggested watching “Mac and Me” and laughing when he laughed, too.
This felt nice. Normal. Domestic. So far and away from what you had left behind in Gotham. It felt good to have (gorgeous) friends and be able to laugh with them on a late Saturday morning. It felt like you could finally breathe and-
“Y/N?”
You looked up from the soapy water, clean spatula in hand, to see Rick suddenly at your side. When had he moved? “Yeah?”
“What’s this?” He held up a torn piece of paper, on familiar letterhead.
In your messy scrawl, was written: 33-45-12-99-67-00-14 – Two bags – locker 22 at Amusement Mile station – car waiting in Old Gotham – ditch phone
Your wet hand reached out and snatched it, throwing it into the soapy water. The ink bled and distorted in moments. “Nothing. Just um…just…”
“Don’t lie.”
You turned at the sound of his soft voice. It wasn’t the bravado he saved for the field or the stern cadence he reserved for new Task Force X recruits. This was just Rick Flag. Your friend. Asking you not to lie to him.
“It doesn’t matter now.” Not a lie. But you saw the disappointment flicker across his features anyway.
He nodded and looked away. “You still wanna watch a movie?”
And your poor heart leapt into your throat. Hope. “Of course.”
And he smiled.
**
It was good. Things were good. You got scolded after helping Harley dye her hair in the kitchen sink but it was okay because she wrapped you in one of the tightest hugs you’d ever received and offered to kill the “office chump” who had caught you. It was good because Robert was out of solitary for meals and you could smile at him without the metal door separating you. It was good because Rick was…Rick. Still terrible at cooking but learning.
And he recently developed a new habit.
It started with his fingers drumming next to yours on the counter. Just close enough for you to feel the roughened skin move against your own. And then his hand would slide across your back if he had to shuffle around you in your tiny, tiny kitchen and you always had to bite your lip to stop the smile you felt growing.
And then he hugged you. It first started as one arm slung over your shoulder when you brought him and his team unevenly frosted cupcakes after they landed and thanked them for saving the world. Then it progressed further to ever so briefly holding you close after longer missions (which seemed to be coming more and more often) and then…his hands would softly cradle your face, thumbs swiping against your jaw like you were made of the finest gold before all but crushing you to his chest. Those types of hugs were usually reserved after missions when he lost a teammate and you would wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze him back, trying to press a bit of joy back into his soul through the contact.
Yes. Rick had a new habit. And it revolved around touching you.
And you didn’t complain.
But it was a slowly twisting knife in your gut. His strangely addictive scent of earth, black coffee, some sort of spicy cologne, and burnt toast that would cling to his clothes after another rushed breakfast had burned its way into your nose. And you found yourself plucking at your shirt and bringing it to your nose after he gave you another hug just to smell it again.
“Hey darlin’,” Rick said, stepping into the kitchen early one morning. And that was another thing—his choice of nickname. Darling. You had never been anyone’s darling. And he called you his.
Dangerous.
It was all so dangerous.
You looked up from your stack of pancakes to smile at him. “Good morning. You’re here early.”
A small smile pushed at his lips as he stepped closer, letting the door swing closed behind him. “Waller called me in.”
“Where’s she sending you now?” You quickly plated a few pancakes and a handful of bacon and thrust it at him, knowing he probably hadn’t eaten, or if he had, it was just black coffee and burnt toast (again).
“You know that’s classified, darlin’,” he said, taking the plate. “Just wanted to see you before we shipped out.”
You smiled at him and shook your head. “And I’ll be here when you get back. I promise.”
He nodded and rolled up a bit of bacon in one of the pancakes and took a large bite. “Yeah. I know,” he said as he swallowed. “Still just…wanted to see you.”
You looked away at that fighting a smile and a sinking feeling in your gut. “I’m glad. You know I always like seeing you.” You had to clear your throat. “Need me to box up a bit of this? For the team?”
Rick paused, a bit of pancake still squirrelled away in his cheek, his lips again turning up in a smile. “I’m sure they’d like that.”
A few minutes later you were out on the tarmac, handing Styrofoam containers filled with breakfast to each of the teammates and wishing them luck. Rick was the last to board and he stepped to your side as the sun started to rise above the hangar. “We’ll be back in a few days.”
“Keep Harley out of trouble.”
Rick groaned. “You know she creates trouble.”
You laughed and reached out to grab his hand and squeeze before you could stop yourself. “I am aware. Was worth a shot, though.”
Rick turned to look at you, broad shoulders blocking out the sun for a moment. “Can we have cinnamon rolls for breakfast when we get back?”
You nodded, laughing a bit at how serious he had seemed. “Of course. I think everyone will like that.”
Rick nodded and his familiar small smile pushed at his lips. “I’ll be back soon,” he repeated.
You opened your mouth, ready to tease him a bit, but your brain short-circuited when you felt his lips brush against your forehead and one of his large hands squeezed at your hip.
And then he was gone.
You went through the rest of the day in a haze, nearly burning the chicken you had made for lunch. But you couldn’t stop smiling. It was a good day. You felt lighter, despite the voice at the back of your mind whispering that this was dangerous.
“You’re smiling today,” Cleo said with Sebastian squeaking on her shoulder. “Your eyes are bright.”
You chuckled, feeling a bit of embarrassment wash over you and you moved her along quickly with an extra bit of food for her beloved companion and ignored the sneer that quickly followed from Blackguard.
The rest of the day finished in a neat little bow and you waved to a few of the guards as you walked out to your tiny little sedan and drove back to your rental. When you threw the car in park, you glanced up at the tiny home and your heart clenched. The front door was open.
You quickly leaned down and grabbed the small handgun you had taped to the bottom of your seat and stepped out, cocked and ready. It was easy to realize you were alone in the house and you took stock of the damage. The house was a wreck. Your precious-few belongings were all in pieces. The handful of outfits you’d brought from Gotham were shredded. But that wasn’t what you cared about.
No.
Painted over your bed in red paint were the words: Found You!
Terror gripped your spine and you felt bile rise in your throat, making you dash to your bathroom to empty your stomach. You thought you had been so safe, so careful. How had he found you? You pushed out a breath and scratched at your forehead with the butt of the gun. “Fuck.”
**
Obviously you wouldn’t get your deposit back since you were cutting your rental agreement laughably short and you nearly depleted your saving sending in painters and handymen to repair all the damage so your landlord wouldn’t see it. But it wasn’t like you could stay here. You were already playing with fire by supervising the repairs. Staying where he knew you to be was stupid. But running wasn’t an option. Your place of work was safe. Safer than anywhere else you could find in the country.
You had slept in your car, parked in Belle Reve’s parking lot, your gun still in your hand. When one of the guards caught you, you had to make a plan. Had to find another place to live but it wasn’t like the surrounding area was bursting with apartments or rental homes. There was a couch in the small breakroom that was…basically all yours anyway. It was small and lumpy and probably older than you, but it would work. You really only wore the over-starched trousers and button-down that had been your assigned ‘uniform’ since taking the job, and you had several of each, just enough to fill the small locker with your name on it in tape.
All of your “good” clothes had been left in Gotham.
Your home had become Belle Reve overnight. You would survive. And that was all that mattered now. He would be stupid to try to get to you here.
On the third night of your ‘stay’ at Belle Reve’s breakroom, you were dead on your feet and the shitty couch looked welcoming after you had washed your face and you curled under a cheap blanket after flicking off the light.
But, just as sleep started to welcome you, a warm hand wrapped around your arm and your eyes shot open. The jump nearly tore you from your skin but you just tumbled to the dirty floor instead.
“Y/N?”
It didn’t sound like him—it didn’t, it didn’t, it didn’t. But you couldn’t stop the shakes wracking your body or how you had immediately reached up to shield your face.
“Y/N? Hey, hey, it’s me.”
And then a large body was crowding you, muscular thighs bracketing yours on the worn carpet. Careful, rough hands gently grasped your shoulders and you looked up and—there was Rick. Warm eyes wide with questions and concern and still covered in grime and blood from the mission. “Oh, Rick. I-I’m sorry-”
“No. No you have nothing to say sorry for—I scared you.” He sighed and you watched something skitter across his gaze, like he was contemplating something and then his warm hands moved to cradle your face and you felt yourself sag in his grip. It was so gentle. “What’re you doin’ here, darlin’?”
Embarrassment washed over you and you winced. “I was…uh…sleeping.”
“Here?”
“Yeah. M’house got broken into and I didn’t really have another place to go.”
“Don’t trust the motels around here, yeah?” He asked it with a smile, and you had to reciprocate. And he still held you so gently.
But you still didn’t tell the complete truth. “Yeah. Thought there would be fewer bed bugs here.”
Rick smiled and shook his head before he stood and you tried not to frown at how the warmth had left. But then he held out a hand to you, still a mess on the floor. “C’mon.”
“What?”
“I’ve got an extra bedroom.”
“Rick, I couldn’t-”
“No bed bugs. I promise. And I paid good money for that mattress. Someone’s gotta use it.”
You didn’t have the energy to argue and let him lead you to his truck out in the parking lot. The pair of you were quiet as he drove, some old country song whispering over his speakers. It was quiet and comfortable.
The apartment was in a quiet part of town about forty-five minutes away from Belle Reve. It was well-kept, almost meticulously clean, and mostly devoid of any sort of personal items except for a few scattered pictures in small frames. You smiled as you recognized Harley and Boomer in one of the photos. Harley had slung her arm over Rick’s shoulders and was beaming at the camera. All of them were covered in blood and…something orange.
“One of the guys took that picture—it was his last mission before he qualified for an early release.”
“Who?” You asked, turning to look at him.
“Floyd Lawton.”
“Deadshot took this family photo?!” Of course you knew who the famed assassin was-Gotham had been his stomping ground.
Rick chuckled and nodded. “Took my phone without me noticing and yelled at us to smile.” He stepped to your side and looked at the picture. “I think you’d like him.”
“If you like him, he’s gotta be a good guy.” You spoke for a little longer, mostly about the mission and how Harley once again became a trouble magnet, before he took you by your hand and led you toward the spare bedroom. The bed did look comfortable, even with the terrible plaid comforter and mismatched pillows on top. “Are you sure this is okay?”
Rick squeezed your hand, his gentle smile still on his face. “Yeah. Get some sleep. There’s a few of my shirts and stuff in the dresser if you want something to sleep in.” He looked away after that, a bit of pink on his cheeks. “Want me to wake you up around five? So we can go in together?”
“Sounds good.”
He nodded and leaned forward to brush another kiss to your forehead. “Get some sleep, darlin’.”
And you tried, head fuzzy with thoughts of Rick and terrible red paint. But you slept better in that handful of hours in Rick’s guest room than you did during the 8 hours you managed to get each night on the breakroom’s couch.
And maybe it was the near-high you achieved for sleeping so well but you felt like you could take on the world when you heard Rick knock on the bedroom door and murmur a soft, “good morning.”
You washed your face again and slipped out of the shirt you had commandeered last night and back into your uniform, meeting Rick at the front door.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Yeah.” And your traitorous heart thudded sharply behind your ribs when Rick’s hand settled on the small of your back as he led you down to his truck. He was quick to open the passenger side door for you and then jogged around to the driver’s side. And you expected another quiet, comfortable drive back to the prison.
That didn’t happen.
“You know you can tell me anything.” Rick glanced at you through the corner of his eye.
No, I can’t. “Yeah, I know.”
He paused. “Wanna tell me why you had a gun hidden in your car?”
Your lips twisted into a grimace and you turned to look out the window. “I’ve just got some things in my past that I want to keep in my past.”
“That’s not an answer, darlin’.”
You didn’t answer.
Rick murmured your name. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
“You’re doing enough—more than enough, by letting me stay at your apartment. I promise I’ll find another place soon and-”
The words evaporated as his warm hand covered yours on your leg. “Don’t. Don’t do that. I’m here to help. I want to help.”
“It isn’t your fight.”
“But I want it to be; I want to help you. Don’t you know I care about you?”
You pulled your hand out from under his to wring your hands together with a grimace. “I know you’re used to saving the world and fighting the good fight but this is complicated. And I don’t want to drag you into it. You’ve got enough going on.”
“I want to help!” He said, voice bordering on exasperation. “Let me help!”
“You can’t!” You snap and instantly regret it. You visibly deflate and shake your head. You never wanted to hurt him. “I can handle this. You don’t have to save me.”
“I’m not trying to save you. I’m trying to help you.”
“Rick,” his name is pushed out in a soft breath, “just stop. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
You watched him wrap his hands a little tighter around the steering wheel, leather creaking under his grip. You had seen another man do something like that, time and time again. He was angry. You opened your mouth to apologize—to babble about just needing time, to say that you didn’t mean it—his grip relaxed and he nodded. And he sighed. “Everyone’s got secrets. I understand. But you let me know if there’s anything I can do, yeah? Anything.”
Tension you didn’t realize you’d felt seizing your body leached out with your next breath. Gentle Rick. Always gentle. You nodded and murmured, “thank you,” just as he pulled into the parking lot.
He got out and made sure to open your door again for you. You smiled at him and reached out to squeeze his arm in thanks. It was okay. Everything was okay. You’d go back to the kitchens to cook the promised cinnamon rolls and he’d go speak with Waller and it would be okay. It would go back to normal. It would-
A hand caught your arm and you turned with a stumble, a question on your tongue, but then his lips were on yours and his warm hand was cradling your cheek and you…you felt his smile against your own and your hand reached up to tangle in his hair and you knew then; you were in trouble.
A/N: Please let me know what you think! I hope to have the next part up soon.
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@polyfacetious big ass Christmas Drabble Extravagaza: Day Eleven
Asexual and aromantic.
Those were the words Five found for himself when he looked up his “symptoms” on the internet. The scientific terms for someone who didn’t have any desire for sexual interaction, or romantic entanglements. And while it didn’t feel exactly like it fit him (Five liked to jerk off as much as the next 17 year old guy, he just didn’t find anyone sexually attractive), it was closer than he’d ever been before.
And Five liked titles. He liked being able to put things in neat little boxes. The world was massive, and confusing, and full of shitty people who would manipulate you and use you under the guise of caring about you. If you knew your place and you knew what to look out for, you could keep it from happening.
The best thing you could do was look after yourself. As long as you didn’t rely on anyone, they couldn’t hurt you. It was a lesson hard learned.
That’s why Five turned in his completed, signed and notarized emancipation forms the day he turned sixteen. Relying on his dad was like dropping through a sheet of ice and hoping you’d come out the other side as an acorn. You couldn’t change the fundamentals, be it time and space or a person’s nature. They were who they were, and no amount of bellyaching was going to change that.
Hell, if it wasn’t for seeing Sir Reginald’s name on his completed form that got mailed back to him, Five wouldn’t even have been sure that the old man knew he was gone. But it was there, stamped, because the old man signed too many forms to do it by hand, and it felt like a burden lifted and a new one hung around his neck in equal measure.
For a reactive, petulant teenager who wanted nothing more than to be acknowledged, it had been a swift kick in the ass to actually be acknowledged. Wasn’t that just karma rearing her ugly head?
That day, five days after the papers were filed, was the last day that Adrian Christopher Hargreeves ever existed outside of legal documents. That was the day he decided that his name was Five. Not for any real reason, there was nothing monumental or thoughtful behind the choice. It had been the first thing to come to mind and Five let it be his choice, fueled by spite.
He was no heir apparent to an aeronautical empire. He was just another number.
Living in a hostel wasn’t ideal, but it was better than trying to pay for a hotel every night, or deal with landlords who didn’t want a teenager on their lease. It gave him a shower to use every night without having to go to a gym and a safe place to keep his things, as long as he didn’t leave anything expensive lying around in plain sight. His laptop came with him wherever he went, always in his backpack. Just in case.
Sometimes, he thinks about asking Peter and Eddie if he can crash on their couch. He knows they’d say yes if he did. But as accommodating as they were, there were always limits to people’s kindness, and Five didn’t work his ass off to get out of being beholden to one man’s whims so he could find himself at the mercy of another.
(Peter isn’t like Sir Reginald. He actually listens when Five talks. But he won’t take the risk, not when things were going so good for him.)
Head Chef.
That was another title, another little box. But where the other ones were titles and boxes that Five could wrap his hands around and declare with a decision, this one was one that was going to take some work.
Five spent days mooching off of the wifi at the hotel near the beach, moving from bench to bench so they wouldn’t ask him to leave. It was how he figured out exactly what he was going to need to get from sixteen year old with no experience to head chef. And it was going to be a long, hard road.
Getting the job at Tony’s place seemed like the best way to start down that road. A Michelin star restaurant on his resume would look good when he applied for culinary school. But what Five didn’t account for was how much he’d hate the damn job. If he had to shuck another oyster again, it would be too soon.
Why anyone would eat those things was beyond him. They were disgusting. And if you needed a slimy mussel to get your dick hard, then maybe you needed to see a doctor, not spend hard earned money sucking down disgusting sea creatures.
And no matter how much he told himself to suck it up and power through, Five spent most of his time miserable for those few months he worked at Tony’s restaurant. To the point that he’d even started considering giving up on it altogether. What was the point of going to culinary school if he was going to hate it? What was the point of all his hard work if it wasn’t going to make him happy?
The whole point of this endeavor was to not end up like his father. If Five was going to go home every night miserable, he would have kept the money and the business. At least then he would have been miserable on silk sheets. Or miserable driving a Maserati.
That’s when Peter stepped in. With his idiot grin and his unending well of optimism and bottomless pit of a stomach. He was the one to tell Five that he should follow his dreams. That there were plenty of chefs out there who didn’t have degrees but still made some of the best food on the planet.
‘I think there’s a fryer in the back of the bar’ sounded like the best escape plan that Five had ever heard. Not that he was going to tell Peter Parker that. He’d bite off his own tongue before he told Peter just how much he needed him. (How much he loved him. Like family.)
So head chef became owner in Five’s head, all the plans he’d built around himself shifting to accommodate. Now the focus was on making money, saving up what he could, learning what would make people go out of their way to try.
Shifting a title and a box in his head turned out to be easier than Five thought it was going to be. And in a way, he should be glad that he figured it out with head chef because Eleanor Crain walked into his life and blew up two other boxes that Five was content with.
Asexual and aromantic no more. Nell was beautiful in a brushed clean kind of way. Like she’d never worn make up in her life. Five knew women went for that look, that they carefully cultivated the kind of make up that made them look like they weren’t wearing any at all. But Nell’s face wasn’t like that. It was simple, and clean, and beautiful.
She had a laugh that was light and bright and effervescent, a smile that lit up a room. She was the kind of girl that Five would have been convinced was an unattainable creation of the media if he hadn’t met her for himself.
But he did, and now he was in too deep, right off of the diving board and into the deep end. Because now all of his decisions had a Nell Crain shaped question mark at the end. Would she still like him if he did this? That had given him pause a time or two.
Of course, it didn’t stop him from decking a drunk in an alley behind the bar, but he took the time to think about it and that was a whole new kettle of fish for him. (Sometimes, Five got so angry that he couldn’t breathe. He never wanted Nell to see that. And if it took back alley bar brawls to keep it away from the surface and from her, then so be it.)
It even started affecting his cooking.
Not in a bad way, not exactly. But for the first time in his admittedly short but stellar cooking career, Five found himself thinking about what someone else wanted. About what she would think of each item, whether she would savor it on her tongue or pretend and smile her way through something she had to choke down.
He learns about her life in between small tasting plates of chicken wings and mozzarella sticks. She tells him about her father giving up on her and her brother and Five says fuck him with a vitriol that makes Nell laugh.
She tells him about her mother, dead when she was six years old. Nell pushes a mozzarella stick around in a puddle of marinara when she does, making abstract designs. Nell says she doesn’t remember her mother, and Five admits the same. It’s not the kind of bonding that anyone wants to do, but it’s knotted between them all the same.
Five doesn’t know how it happens, but he tells her about Sir Reginald. About emancipation. He dances around the part about living in a hostel, because he doesn’t know if he can turn down kindness from her.
By the time they make it through the bar’s short menu, she’s given him sweet but solid advice on all of it. (Better than Peter, who licked the plate when Five first made parmesan and garlic chicken wings.) Five has notes written down in a small notebook he keeps in the breast pocket of his apron, and he fully intends to adjust and adapt his recipes.
But he can’t stop thinking about Nell. About how nothing he made really sparked any joy in her. And he wanted that. Hell, he could be honest with himself, he needed that. He needed her approval, and it was a big, bright red flag flapping in the wind, but Five was too far gone to do anything about it.
Which is how he ends up in the bar’s kitchen on a Sunday morning, tossing his third sandwich in a frustrated heap. But the fourth, oh the fourth is a thing of beauty, just the right amount of crisp on the edges and golden brown all over, the cheese starting to seep out of the sides of the sandwich. It was purely aesthetic, but it was perfect.
He brings the bowl and the plate out of the kitchen and up to where Nell sits, the lone body at the bar. Peter and Eddie wouldn’t come downstairs for hours. This was the closest to privacy that Five had these days. (He wasn’t stupid, he knew they slept in on Sundays for this very reason. Eddie Brock the lapsed Catholic had started going to Mass at night on Sundays.)
“Grilled cheese and tomato bisque for the lady.” Grudgingly, the bisque was Tony’s recipe. But it was a damn good one, and Five wasn’t going to spit in the wind. Just because it wasn’t his idea didn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea.
Nell laughs, but the sound falls away to something more appreciative as she breaks the two triangles of the sandwich apart, watching the golden cheese stretch between the two halves. It’s only when she bites down on the edge of the sandwich, the crisp bread crackling that Five realizes he’s holding his breath.
And it’s released in a whoosh of laughter when Nell fans her mouth. “It’s good! Really good. Really hot, but really good!”
Being in love was not a box or a title that Five had expected to ever have. But now that he found himself in that box, he wasn’t in a hurry to get out. And there was maybe a few more box’s and titles he’d like to get his hands on now that he knew about it.
Nell Crain’s boyfriend would be a good one to start with.
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Okay guys, I’m getting a liveblog done today if it kills me. This one is gonna take a bit longer to do, because I hurt my hand so typing is bleh, but we carry on!
Xingo Nation, because my son is the most important thing in this franchise.
Have I mentioned lately that I love the use of music in this show? Because I do. Also, yay Kelly Turnbull! This promises to at least be fun visually then.
“Now we’re not saying it was aliens-” says nerd-on-tv in front of several pictures of America’s Next Top Space Squid.
Oh look, a Mike production. I miss him, he should’ve gotten more and better, wasted potential as a villain and character.
Ben, not impressed by this tv lineup.
Oh lords, he’s not even feeling Xingo? Gwen check his temperature I think the boy may be ill.
Lucky Girl and Xingo run in the same timeslot. No wonder Ben and Gwen are so primed to argue.
And lo, the fighting begins. Watch the feelings show, Ben, it’s good for you. A magical girl a day keeps the toxic masculinity at bay.
Ben’s response to not being able to steal the remote back from Gwen is to go Stinkfly and odor her into submission.
Ooo, Lucky Girl goes for female villains and what looks to be an all female main cast. It is Sailor Moon for Gwens. Takes the color coding to a whole new level though.
Queen Griefenstein, lords preserve me
Lucky Girl: *talks about ‘an insecure heart corrupts the soul’*
Kevin: *ruins a display in the process of stealing a remote*
~I love this sort’ve storytelling~
Bystander: It’s so nice to see a little boy in touch with his emotions like that
Kevin: *insecure preteen panic*
“Uh, what? I don’t have emotions!” My son
Pausing because I can’t feel my hands, be back when they aren’t numb
If nothing else can we stop and acknowledge the emo poet panicking at the concept that 1) he may have emotions, and 2) he may be in touch with them
Kevin Levin, going from ‘bad mood’ to ‘insecure panic’ to ‘okay, Xingo, this is properly non-feelingsy’ over the span of 20 seconds
“haha Violence.“ My son
There is a character on the Xingo show complaining about said show getting bad ratings. I’m not surprised, I’m just acknowledging the matter.
Kevin: *yet more preteen panic*
Kevin, honey, take a step back, check the internet, confirm before you panic.
...okay, I don’t agree with calling Lucky Girl garbage, but 18 seasons is excessive. Honestly by that point it probably is garbage, nothing can survive that long without devolving into chaff. Quick, somebody get this child the 1st season, stat!
Plus a Japan-only radio drama, a comic to-in, and a spin-off series. Damn. Also Kevin, dearheart, you know a suspicious amount about Lucky Girl and it’s various works for someone who supposedly thinks it’s garbage.
My son, my dear, sweet, insecure, ‘I have no emotions and totally have nothing to do with anything that may acknowledge emotions exist’ son
11-year-olds
Check the fucking internet before you go alien over this, child
My son is a moron. Brilliant, but a moron.
Xingo: *potentially cancelled cartoon panic*
Oh look, the Xingo x Lucky Girl Crossover everyone’s been waiting for
I think I’m gonna have to try muting this and going off subtitles, just to actually get through it sometime before the turn of the next decade.
(Also, can I just say how I love that this decade’s first liveblog includes Kevin yelling ‘I don’t have emotions’. Feels like it’s setting a good baseline for the next ten years of Kevin content (which you will be getting, don’t doubt it))
Queen Griefenstein: *has too high of standards to work with Xingo*
Xingo pies Lucky Girl. To see Kevin’s reaction you would think this was the funniest thing to happen ever.
*snort* Okay, that second pieing was funny.
Ben has successfully gassed Gwen out of the Rustbucket.
Welp.
Max: *explaining the majesty of free hotdogs*
..........double welp. Maybe Xingo needs cancelling.
Max: Maybe they’re doing a crossover
Gwen: The audacity to even think-
Kevin: *laughs in the distance*
Ben: The audacity-
Honestly the best part here is Kevin has no reason to think setting Xingo loose could go badly. He’s had nothing to do with and heard nothing of the shit Xingo keeps pulling. In his inexperienced 11-yo mind this makes perfect sense.
Ben: *fiercely demands to know if Kevin is the one who set Xingo loose*
Kevin: Uh, nope
Xingo: Buddy!
Kevin wasn’t even looking for trouble today, he just found it. My headcanon that he is a walking disaster area continues to be supported.
He is not comfortable with Xingo reaching out of the tv to pat him on the head.
“-while I go put marinara in Lucky Girl’s wig“ welp
Mike’s character did not deserve a Xingo smooch, and his character’s love interest did not deserve to have a Xingo smooch their guy. Just because Mike is 100% Immortal Little Shit does not mean they aren’t good people
Oh gods that UAF expy is as painful as the show
Note to self: Do not let Xingo on the news
Operation Change The Fucking Channel is a go
Scratch that, Operation Shut off the Goddamn TVs is a go
I gotta say, at this point at least we really need an Argit. Give Kev a steady friend with limits on the trouble they’ll get him into.
Welp. Better go find another remote Gwen
Ah, yes, the channel change buttons on the tv proper, so handy
“-where two obnoxious boys who can turn into alien monsters have engaged in combat“ That’s it, that’s the show
Also, oo, Max got ice cream. Honestly until told otherwise I’m going to assume the entire reason Kevin is here is for the free food.
Gwen saves the day, holy fuck that was close. We do not need a Xingo the size of a planet
‘Kev-a-lev-a-ding-dong’ good lords
‘Second rate’ goddamn will somebody give this child a fucking break! I swear he’s been appreciated once and a combo of Ben and his own issues screwed it up!
My baby...
Ben, while Xingo is tearing Kevin down to nothing: .......
Ben, when Kevin’s temper starts going: *shocked*
And lo but the boys were on the same page again, because Xingo couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.
I love these children
The boys working together and Kevin hitting Xingo so hard he flew through several shows and right back into Lucky Girl.
‘Constructive criticism‘ somebody hit him again
Hello Lucky Girl, thank you Lucky Girl
And lo, Xingo was no longer an immediate issue
Kevin: *causes problem*
Team Tennyson: *celebrate solving problem*
Kevin: Bitch, without me-
Huh, it’s a Wednesday. Now I’m even more annoyed I wasn’t feeling up to doing this liveblog yesterday
Lucky Girl: *talks about ‘rattling the rifts between enemies’ and emotional honesty*
Ben & Kev: *’not emotions no’ cringe*
Ben is all for the ‘if you can’t talk out your problems, punch a bitch’ moral of the day and now is willing to give Lucky Girl a shot
Meanwhile Kevin is at first confused- or possibly concerned- by the moral, then Ben’s response to it, and then goes right back to ‘I totally don’t enjoy this show, I would never, I Am The Night’
Then slips into the next aisle back and moves a box so he can watch the episode in secret
These children are so cute
10/11, not perfect but close enough
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1-30
Not sure if this is all 30 I had to copy and paste one at a time
your favourite playlist (made by yourself or someone else): damn my old crying playlist from like 6 or so years ago. Never ever failed to hit hard
how many houseplants in your room, and what kinds are they?: none, not a plant person, although I like how they look, succulents are cute though
your favourite “grounding” activity (anything that involves using the hands/doesn’t involve “spacing out” or escapism - something like gardening, knitting, dancing, cooking): cleaning, cuz that usually involves dancing
an account on social media whose posts make you smile: my girl somethingabouttheway haha like the last account here I follow that's active. And a girl we know on fb always posts the funniest things.
5 tv shows that cheer you up: the office, brooklyne nine nine, soul eater, ouran high school host club, the good place
how you get relaxed when you’re struggling to sleep: I don't, I just put on YouTube and wait till I knock out
your favourite board game: my bros and I took a monopoly board and made our own, however it's broken and while one bro was getting all these things I still technically won. A version 2.0 patch is still to come
if you were going to write a non-fiction book on any topic, what would it be?: not sure, maybe heartbreaks, just curious to actually talk to people about emotions and thoughts on life in general but pain is always interesting
a quote that you would consider getting tattooed or putting in a frame: "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" Dead Poets Society
something you’ve created in the last year that you’re proud of (a playlist, a piece of art, some writing, a craft hobby, a social media account, etc): oof been a year of just getting by, well last how many years I guess. One of my bros and i are trying to write more, we keep brainstorming ideas whenever we hang out
a tip or hack you’ve learned that makes cleaning or tidying easier: nothing, still clean how I usually do
if you could make a candle that smelt like anything, what would you pick?: I don't even know, honestly my favorite scent is usually from a girl so
the last so-bad-it’s-good joke you heard: what's a duck's favorite drug? Quack lol wasn't that good but a friend and I were just sending jokes at each other it was a good moment
an artist (of any kind) whose work you look forward to seeing: in what way? I mean love to see whatever epik high does next. Or I wanna read more of Neil Gaiman. Or now that I've heard of Terry Pratchett I wanna read the Discworld series
the last tv episode that made you laugh out loud: brooklyn nine nine, watch it every week
how you wake your body up when it’s feeling tired, achy or needs a stretch: so I slap my chest, rotate my shoulders and start jumping
a bath, shower, beauty or toiletry product that makes you feel revived, or that you always re-order when it’s running out: nada
a book series you can always escape in: I wanna read series of unfortunate events again, I have most of the books, found them at a place that sells used books
the sport or exercise you enjoy the most, and what’s helped you get better at it: basketball, I still suck, but the sound and movements, the rhythm, feels amazing
a skill you’ve picked up in the past few years: I am a guy of no skill sorry
a youtube video you find useful, entertaining or relaxing:
https://youtu.be/AaV8NeT0fnY
And this isn't even mu favorite episode
if you were going to dye your hair any colour of the rainbow, what would you choose?: so weeb of me but I been wanting to do a white or silver with black mix. Was actually getting the balls to do it for vacation but that's canceled
the book you just finished and what you thought (no spoilers!): Good Omens was really good, not my favorite from Gaiman but how do i even compare books from my favorite author. It was enjoyable the whole way, i had fun and laughs.
describe the most wacky, weird and wonderful at-home outfit you’ve put together: don't think I have one, I prefer less clothes at home lol
a game you’re playing that takes your mind off things: besides the obvious of animal crossing haha astral chain
the film you watched most recently that you could watch again and again: tough one, I don't watch too many of the good ones over and over like I enjoyed parasite and knives out but not sure I'd watch often. I'd probably get sick of sonic or alita or detective pikachu after too many. AH rush hour was on tv, damn I can watch those all the time and still laugh
your favourite flavour and brand of tea: not sure, kinda just drink whatever tea is lying around the house. Not a big tea drinker but I like it and prefer it over coffee
a good-will story you’ve heard on the news that’s made you feel hopeful: my friend invited me to a fb group called go outside and howl at 8pm and it's just super wholesome seeing strangers send supporting messages or how people can post recovery type stories and find solace. Makes my day seeing it
a favourite easy recipe: 5 ingredients or less, or takes less than 30 min to make: does spaghetti take long? Cuz mom's spaghetti of marinara sauce, ground beef, pasta, brown sugar, sausages and pasta (yes that's 6 but whatever) love it
a song that makes you want to have a boogie round your bedroom:
https://youtu.be/Lbc2BkJrvWQ
My favorite singer took one of my favorite songs from him and changed it up and I still love it
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Here, have a piece of the story in question! I think maybe I’ll put the first bit up on AO3 tomorrow or Friday, then, if there’s interest!
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Day one. Los Angeles at fifteen minutes before six in the morning. The Raven Studios lot, and a make-up chair. The first make-up chair, on the first official day, not a test or an exploration.
Jason patiently closed eyes for an airbrush, a sharpened eyeliner pencil, gentle blending. Opened them and regarded himself in the mirror.
Another person looked back, a strange hybrid self. Captain Stephen Lanyon’s slightly longer hair, courtesy of extensions, enough to pull into a gentlemanly queue. Lighter in places than Jason’s own dark brown: still brown, yeah, but kissed by the sun, by salt, by shipboard naval life. The airbrush had sun-kissed his skin as well; he was tempted to touch it, but knew better. Cherry Khan’s hands danced around him, working her spells; he’d liked her calmness ever since the first trial run. They got along; he was glad to’ve met her, part of Jillian Poe’s crew.
He met his own gaze, through mirror-gleam and make-up. Still his eyes. Still his clothes, at least for the moment: jeans and a casual red shirt, simple and uncomplicated.
He liked to think of himself as uncomplicated. He was: an action hero, big and justifiably proud of muscles, generally goodhearted, appreciative of his family and his grandmother’s marinara sauce.
He didn’t feel uncomplicated right now. This role, this chance, this future: he wanted to grab onto it with both hands and cling. To prove that he could be that other self. Someone who could do more than kick and punch and shout angrily at evildoers.
He wanted to tell stories. To tell this story, history-drenched and rich as velvet and deeply textured with the lives of two men loving each other, as men had throughout the past.
He wanted to do this story justice. He wanted to prove himself. He wanted to impress Colby Kent and apologize to Colby Kent. They’d not spent any real time together—a table read or two, a few emails from Colby wearing the producer hat and checking on a detail or two of Jason’s contract—and Jason’d been gnawed half to death by guilt.
He wasn’t really a dick. He hadn’t meant to hurt Colby. He’d been having a rough day, chased in circles by desperation and inadequacy, and he’d said stupid words in the hallway, and Colby’d heard him and then not been able to look at him, and—
And Colby and Jillian had cast him anyway. That was the part Jason couldn’t figure out.
“A bit more brightness, I think,” Cherry murmured, and one slim finger dabbed a mystery potion under his eyes. “And don’t fret so much. Is it first-day jitters, then? Or something else? Maybe…a boy?” She lifted eyebrows at him; Jason laughed. “Tell me all about it if it is. All the details.”
“Sort of a boy,” Jason agreed obligingly. True, for a given interpretation. “It’s not like that, though. Just that I said something dumb and I haven’t been able to apologize. He’s probably not even thinking about it or me—” Also likely true; Colby must have much more interesting thoughts to occupy his time. Fabulous parties in that luxurious apartment. New ways to spend that A-list income. Guys flinging themselves his direction. Everyone adoring him.
“—it’s just, y’know, it bothers me,” he finished. “But at least I look great, Cher, thanks.”
“You’re lovely, dear.” She patted his shoulder. “And I’m sure if you apologize he’ll forgive you. Especially with those big pretty eyes. I’d forgive you.”
“Thanks more?”
“I could think of a few more things to do with you, if I was at all interested in the eggplant crowd.” Cherry patted him again. Her partner Diana was a chef, Jason knew; they’d chatted about the proper layering of lasagna and Jason’s family’s recipe early on. “I’m sure your boy could, too.”
“He’s not my anything. It’s not…” He sighed. “It’s not like that.”
“Of course it’s not,” Cherry said, “you’re only obsessing over something dumb you said and whether or not he’s thinking of you,” and poked a pencil at his eyebrow.
It wasn’t like that. It’d never be. Colby might’ve agreed to work with him, the in-role chemistry might be fantastic, but Colby couldn’t look at him. Found other people to talk to after table reads. Sent proper businesslike emails that always sounded vaguely British in tone and phrasing, as if that childhood training remained inescapable.
But Jason remembered the way that hand felt in his. He’d seen those glorious eyes upturned and gazing into his. He’d seen Colby Kent flinch, an ephemeral specter of genuine vulnerability. He’d wanted to help then; he wanted to now.
He didn’t even know why. They weren’t friends. Colby couldn’t need him.
But some tiny wistful part of his heart hoped Colby had someone, among that sea of admirers. Someone who’d see him. Someone who’d be there for him.
Jason’s heart wished it could help. Not even because Colby Kent was gorgeous and talented and a daydream come to life. Just because it did not like the idea of someone being unhappy, and particularly that someone being Colby, who would choose a co-star based on what’d be best for the film, regardless of personal discomfort.
Jason, eyeing himself and his newly shaped eyebrows, knew he should be thinking of his own role. Slipping into Stephen’s skin. Preparing for a soundstage and a ship’s deck, the movie-magic half-built version. Conversations with Leo Whyte, playing his loyal lieutenant. Later, that afternoon, one conversation with Colby. A moment in which William Crawford, Viscount Easterly, had dared ill health and parental anger to slip onto Stephen’s ship and say farewell. They would not touch, not even kiss, in a space filled with crew and pre-departure bustle; but they would take each other’s hands, briefly, and they would know.
Jason, who’d taken Colby’s hand once, understood. Intimacy stolen out of public view. A commitment made sweeter by the ache of restraint. By the brush of skin to skin, laid bare.
Colby’d chosen. Had put his hand into Jason’s, given the invitation.
And Jason needed to stop remembering, imagining, wondering. For one thing, he didn’t have the right. For another, those imaginings were starting to cause certain effects in his jeans, a fact simultaneously hot and potentially embarrassing and startling. He knew what he liked, as far as sweetness and surrender actively forthrightly given; he could not remember a time when he’d gone achingly hard from the memory of a touch of a hand.
Dammit. He had to stop thinking about Colby Kent. About wide blue eyes with their unusual darker outer ring of color, about the sparkle in them when saying Captain like a dare, like a tease—
“Good morning!” Cherry chirped to someone behind his shoulder. “What’re you doing in this early, sugar, you’re not on set until this afternoon!”
“I can’t come by to say hello to my favorite artistic genius?” That voice. Oh god, that voice. Amusement in ancient castles. Sunlight over stones. Arthurian mythology by way of Southern California. Jason sat frozen, thanking God and Cherry for concealer that’d hide flushed cheeks.
Colby went on, “I’ve also bought pastries for everyone. There’s more on the cart outside, but I thought I’d bring this box over. I know they’re nothing as good as Di’s, but perhaps still good enough to begin the shoot with? And—oh, Jason! Good morning. Would you like some sort of apple tart? Or a cinnamon…well, I don’t know what that is, but it’s definitely got cinnamon in.”
“Um,” Jason managed.
“I’ll just leave these and get out of your way.”
“No you won’t,” Cherry said, picking up something round and chocolate-dipped. “Colby, darling, tell us exactly everything from Maureen Hart’s engagement party last month. Did she really invite all her exes? And did Skylar Mason really get drunk and fall into the pool, because the tabloids are saying so, but I know someone who worked on all five seasons of Vampire High with him and said he was the sweetest nicest boy—”
Colby, who of course had been invited—Mo Hart’s engagement party invite list had comprised most of A-list Hollywood, several billionaires, and a prince or two, and decidedly not Jason—perched on the edge of a second chair and said willingly, “No, as far as I know he only tripped over someone, there was hardly any room to breathe even up on that rooftop patio, and I’m very sorry but I didn’t properly count the number of exes, though I did see Brett Claremont gazing longingly at Lindsay Miller, and she seemed to be looking back?” and they disappeared into a discussion of glamorous film-star hook-ups and break-ups and whether Lindsay should take Brett back, for a good twenty minutes.
They seemed to forget that Jason existed. That was fine. Jason was busy getting breath back. Forcing blood into other parts of his body.
Colby, he noticed, tended not to lead a conversation. Answering questions, smiling, happily responding to whatever Cherry wanted to know and apologizing for not knowing some answers, but definitely reacting instead of directing. Being exactly what she wanted of him.
Jason did not know what to do with this information.
He watched Colby Kent some more. Colby, even dressed casually, came in layers. Comfortable-looking but stylish pants, not jeans. A blue cardigan over a button-down shirt, even at six in the morning. The cardigan was buttoned also. Jason thought about that for a minute, too.
Colby might just be one of those people who couldn’t stand to look unkempt. Considering the motion of those hands, the half-messy swoop of dark hair that fluffed outward more on one side than the other, Jason wasn’t sure. Something about the sleeves and the buttons suggested armor. Something about Colby’s smile suggested steps across ice: not shy, not afraid, but aware. Conscious of each reply, as if making sure it was what would be desired.
Colby’s hair was longer now as well. William needed to have dramatic windswept Byronic locks, good for pensive longing beside a library window or winding a lover’s fingers through. Colby hadn’t done extensions, though; that was all his hair, soft and dark and rumpled from the early morning.
Jason’s fingers, without regard for Jason’s brain, wanted to go over there and rumple it more.
“I’m so sorry,” Colby said, turning his way. “We’re neglecting you. It wasn’t even that good a party; I only went because, well, they invited me, and I didn’t want to be rude and say no. I left early, in fact, and went home and found a book. Have you had any pastries? This one’s got blueberries and some sort of creamy center. How are you feeling about this morning? Have you been practicing all of Stephen’s nautical terminology?”
You went because they invited you and your popularity with the media, Jason thought. You probably bought the most expensive item on their gift list, too. And then went home early. With a book. He said, “What book?”
#actor regency fic#fic in progress#my fic#kernezelda#esaael#thebestpersonherelovesbucky#clashfanusa#for you guys
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Do You Feel It?
Who: Mason McCarthy & Sam Evans
When: Friday night - 10/26
Where: Breadstix
What: cute first date stuff
Mason knew the nerves didn't make sense. He knew Sam pretty well by now, they'd hung out quite a few times and talked pretty consistently for almost a month now, but the idea of things shifting... that had to be what the nerves were from. As soon as they got to Breadstix Mason slid into a booth and started fiddling with his napkin, giving Sam the shyest grin as he offered him a breadstick. "You look really good. I know I've said that like... a half dozen times already, but you really do."
Sam grabbed a breadstick and bit a piece off, willing himself to relax. He'd been on plenty of dates before. But this was different for some obvious reasons and maybe some not as obvious ones. He wasn't sure yet. He smiled softly at Mason's compliment. "You do too. I'm gonna be honest. This is my first date with... a guy. Not that it's totally different. A date's a date, right? But it feels kinda different, I guess."
Mason took a bite out of his own breadstick and washed it down before replying, the weird shy feeling creeping out again and making it hard to speak normally. "If it makes you feel any better this is my first date with a guy too. It feels... definitely something new. Good, but it's still new. At least the basics are still the same! Plus we don't have to deal with the super awkward initial get to know you part in the process."
"I guess it's harder to get a date with a guy around here," Sam reasoned. "But Blaine has two boyfriends, so I still think he must be really good at this dating thing, no matter what he says." He shrugged and slurped at his water for a moment. "That's true. I already know you're awesome."
"I've never met anyone who had two boyfriends before so he must be a big smooth talker...." Mason thought back to what Sebastian had mentioned about the three of them and blushed all over again. "What did he tell you about this whole dating thing, then?" It was an assumption, but not one he was too worried about making. "Same! Plus, you know from the get-go we'll get along."
"He is pretty charming. I think it's a requirement to be a Warbler," Sam chuckled. His own cheeks turned a soft pink at the question though for different reasons. "If I tell you that, I'll have to tell you what I asked him and then you'll know what a major doofus I am, so..."
"I think so, considering Sebastian and Skylar seem to have a similar vein of charming too. Just... slightly different." Mason's eyebrows raised and he leaned forward in his seat curiously, both elbows going up on the table. "I wouldn't think you were a doofus, Sam!"
"Blaine's totally got a nerd side too though, which is why we make such good friends." Sam nodded simply before he saw Mason leaning in towards him and he sighed. Mason already agreed to go out with him, so he might as well just be honest since it obviously wasn't going to freak the guy out too much. "I just asked him what I should do cause I liked you... I do like you. And I didn't know if you liked me and I didn't want you to stop being my friend," he admitted, looking down at his menu for a moment. "So he told me to just... ask you to dinner and see how you reacted. And if you weren't into it I could play it off like a friend thing."
"Blaine has a nerd side?! Like, outside of the musicals and stuff?" Mason was genuinely surprised - Blaine seemed very suave, and he admittedly didn't typically associate suave with nerdy. The idea of Sam being nervous about asking him out - and not knowing if Mason liked him back - had a pleased grin spreading over his face and he reached forward to squeeze Sam's hand quickly before letting it go. "I like you too. Just for the record. I also think that was a brilliant idea on his part, but I can definitely say it wasn't needed - I was already trying to figure out how to tell you that I wasn't just like... jokingly flirting with you."
"Oh, yeah. He sends me links to the best Star Wars fanfic. And we were talking about starting a superhero club before he transferred," Sam explained. He smiled as Mason's hand laid over his and he squeezed back, finding himself kind of sad when Mason took his hand back. "Yeah? I mean that makes sense, since you said yes and everything. But it's nice to hear and stuff."
“Okay but please tell me there’s some shipping of the robots in there. You should still start that! I know several interested parties.” Where before their hands had touched, Mason let his foot nudge forward until it was pressed again Sam’s, looking a little shy still. “Yeah. Like.... it’s really really nice to be able to call you my date. Plus, you have good taste in restaurants!”
"If it exists, someone will ship it, that's for sure. I like the ones about Endor and ewoks. They get way too much hate if you ask me," Sam insisted, shaking his head in disappointment. "Are they all you?" He squinted, but let out a playful laugh. "It is really nice. And to be fair, there aren't a ton of options."
"Tell me, Sam Evans, have you actually written any of this fanfiction yourself?" Mason just grinned a little, dipping his breadstick in marinara sauce. "Well. Maybe most of them...." He knew he was being silly, but it was still so nice to be here with someone on a DATE, with Sam specifically after weeks of flirting. "No, but I'm also a big fan of italian food. Especially lasagna. And breadsticks. And alfredo sauce."
Sam shrugged but then shook his head a little. "Nah. I mean not actually written. I do make up stories in my head a lot, but I'm not very good at the writing part. I'm more a fan art guy. Or I can do comics. But not really long stories," he explained. "I mean, we could still try though maybe. It might be fun. And I'm glad you're having a good time. I feel really like... comfortable with you. It's cool."
"That is so cool! You do fan art?! You mentioned liking sketching before, but I didn't connect the dots to how much you actually liked drawing. What kind of stuff?" The idea of trying it had him nodding, and he was already thinking of things they could do. "Reasons to date your friends, right? Oh! Speaking of! Do you happen to be a fan of spooky things outside of spooky movies?"
"Yeah, I love drawing. I want to learn animation too, but I'm saving up for some of the equipment you need to do it, " Sam explained proudly. "I like to create my own comics and make up characters and stuff. And I do a lotta Cap designs cause he's my favorite." He smiled shyly at that thought. He'd never really dated someone he was close friends with beforehand. "I mean, it's Halloween. It's all about the spoopy!"
“That would be so cool! Do you want to animate based off the characters you come up with? You’re a very Captain America kind of guy, it makes sense. Not just the physique either, but the way you care about people and your entire personality.” Mason complimented intentionally all the time, sure, but some things were merely glaringly obvious observations. “It is! Okay good. You mentioned wanting to go see Halloween - why don’t we do a haunted house beforehand?”
"Maybe." Sam shrugged, still unsure of himself in that particularly area. "I'm just having fun with it and seeing what I can learn for now." His smile returned and his cheeks turned a soft pink at Mason's compliment. "Ooh, that'd be fun! We totally have to dress up too. In the spirit of Halloween and all."
The conversation flowed so easily the rest of the night that Mason was almost giddy with it - maybe he'd done the right thing in waiting to date someone properly who was more of a friend than simply an infatuation. Asking Sam to take him home was admittedly in part to extend their time together, and when they pulled up to his house Mason was already turning to face Sam. "Tonight was so much fun, Sam."
Sam put his car in park and turned his body as much as he could as well, smiling over at Mason. With a quick calming breath, he reached over and took Mason's hand in his own. "It was. I had a blast. I'm really glad you said... over and over," he added with a little laugh. Mason's excitement about everything was super contagious.
"So am I! I'm really glad my rambling hasn't scared you off yet." Mason squeezed Sam's hand, and this time he kept their hands pressed together. The contact was so night and the 'first date' feel of it all was so nice that he wanted to just... soak it up. For a second his eyes darted down to Sam's lips and he didn't know what proper protocol was, so he went for a whispered "Can I kiss you?"(edited)
The corners of Sam's lips curled up slowly and he took another breath. It seemed he hadn't forgotten how to make words with his mouth, so he just nodded slightly at first as he kept staring at Mason's eyes. "Yeah," he finally managed to get out. "Definitely yeah."
Mason waited for consent before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Sam's. The pressure was gentle, but firm, and he let himself enjoy it for exactly what it was. It was like physically manifesting all the wonderful things Sam had been making him feel since they'd first met and putting them into the kiss.
Sam's hand instinctively came up and his fingertips brushed over Mason's cheek. In the moment, the thought ran through his hand how different it felt from kissing a girl. Mason's skin was still soft but it was in a different way, his jaw more pronounced. He really liked it. He returned the kiss, careful not to press forward to quickly and enjoy the moment for what it was. He was still smiling like a fool when they broke apart.
Mason felt a little like he was floating when Sam's lips pulled away from his, and like a teenager very much in like he let his eyes stay closed for a few moments more just to really let the feeling linger before finally he opened his eyes and grinned. "Holy /wow/, Sam."
Sam let out a breathy little chuckle because he couldn't imagine a better reaction, especially from Mason. "Yeah, dude. Same," he replied before realizing how incredibly stupid that sounded. Not that his brain was really in working order right now anyway. "I mean... you're really good at that."
"So are you," Mason admitted, hoping Sam wouldn't think he was too weird for not really knowing what to say after that. "Usually I can string words together at least. I really, really hope that kiss means you're interested in a second date, because if you are, then the answer is already yes."
"Well, you're usually doing better than me then," Sam joked, still holding tight to Mason's hand. "And, yeah. Most definitely. Haunted house and Halloween, yeah? You can even hide against my shoulder if you want. Or I might have to hide against yours. I can't make any promises."
"Yes! Haunted house and Halloween. Whenever you want.. If you really want to hide, I will absolutely make sure I have on my softest hoodie," Mason teased quietly, taking a chance and leaning in one more time for a slightly less quick kiss, one that seemed to linger before he pulled away. "Text me!"
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A Rational Case For Optimism
Those who know me will know that I have generally not been an optimist about most things. I wouldn’t categorically call myself a pessimist, but when it comes to macro issues such as industry, government, and organized religion, it has seemed as though the powerful bodies that be are always a disappointment. Given the assumption that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, it seemed logical to surmise that large groups of people (except for the ones I belonged to of course) would generally not act in a manner that benefits the greater good. This rationality, however, is flawed on many counts.
Now in some sense, the pessimist is correct: negative and painful things will most definitely occur. But by that logic, the optimist is also correct. People will always find things to be happy about. We always have. If we did not find moments of joy, even in dark times, then I’m not sure our species would have gotten this far. Given this fluctuation between subjectively good and bad experiences, both the pessimist and the optimist have ample “objective” evidence to support their claims. This makes building an argument based on fact and historical evidence a futile exercise, as both sides will be more than able to render a case that demonstrates the virtue of their worldview. So if easily manipulated facts cannot get us to the ideal schema, then we must depend on a bit of rationality.
Knowing that death is inevitable, it is highly improbable that I will escape pain (both physical and emotional). When people close to us die, it is an intensely painful experience. If everyone dies eventually, then this pain is ineluctable. Worrying about pain only causes me to suffer more now (when there is no apparent need for suffering). Drawing conclusions about the future that predict an adverse outcome (as pessimism dictates) seems only to cause worry in the present. Is such cynicism objectively incorrect? As previously established, no many “bad” things happen all the time. Yet by focusing on the potential for future “bad” (which is a given), pessimism only serves to provoke anxiety in the now.
Why are worry and anxiety in the now unfavorable? Here I will invoke some objective facts and subjective experiences as this is a verifiable point. While our acceptance of the importance of mental health is still in its nascency, we generally tend to agree that physical suffering is “bad.” Well, it turns out that anxiety is implicated in a range of physical maladies such as heart disease, gastrointestinal disorders, and respiratory disorders. If we are in agreement that physical suffering is bad, then logically we must conclude that anxiety (a potential cause of physical suffering) is also bad. (To my fellow anxious folk who are now spiraling at the thought of their anxiety causing a multitude of physical maladies, please read the italicized postscript at the bottom of this page, the point of which is: everything is ok.)
Speaking as someone who has lived something of an anxiety-ridden life, I can tell you that it is indeed physically uncomfortable. My partner and I lovingly refer to my amygdala as “Big Myg.” (The amygdala is associated with regulating emotion and anxiety is linked to large amygdalas.) This makes sense right? The brain generates emotions and is also responsible for coordinating muscle movements. If the brain is creating anxiety (regardless of whether or not there is an external cause), then fight-or-flight instincts would dictate that the brain must tell the body to tense and prepare for whatever threat is on the horizon. As no actual threat can be assessed and subsequently countered or dismissed, the body and mind remain tense. I can attest to the muscular tension, nausea, clicking jaw, and marinara-esque body odor (anyone else? no?) that are attributable to anxiety. I consider these states to be less-than-optimal.
You might posit that my physical anxiety is a “first-world problem” and not something worth this magnitude of verbiage. This is a valid point. Is my physical discomfort resulting from anxiety such a terrible thing? Perhaps my anxiety comes as a natural cost to creating a more technologically developed world. Perhaps that technologically developed world, in turn, alleviates the more severe physical suffering of people in objectively more dire conditions. That is a fair position and one I would wholeheartedly agree with. But does that mean that I and my anxious brethren must live in an anxiety vortex (because it is one hell of a vortex) indefinitely for the sake of alleviating more severe physical suffering?
As a human, I am programmed to desire the most efficient course of action. We would not use tools or depend on agriculture if this were not the case. With this premise in mind, I ask whether anxious thoughts, not spurred by the present context, are efficient? Modern science is pretty clear on the fact that multitasking is a myth. The brain can only focus on one thing at a time. If you’re anything like me, worrying involves obsessing over scenarios yet-to-come (or ruminating on outcomes that were not to taste). If waking hours are limited, and if we can only focus on one thing at a time, then cycling through a series of possible adverse outcomes reduces the quantity of time that can be spent thinking about other things.
If pessimism induces worry and anxiety, then it must reduce the time and brain-space for potentially more constructive thought processes. The neuronal circuits devoted to worrying could instead be put to use creating strategies to empower the developing world. They could be used to invent technologies to address issues of climate change and sea level rise. They could be used to identify a neighbor’s needs and what resources you might possess to help them. They could be used to better understand a point of view you disagree with. There are infinite positive possibilities, big and small, for the use of those neurological networks. Remaining in a pessimistic state eliminates these possibilities by virtue of limited time, and must inherently create a less ideal world. Pessimism, at best, is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Optimism, on the other hand, is not anxiety-inducing. It may help now to clarify what I am not arguing for. I am not arguing for an optimistic view in which we ignore the present situation and simply believe against all odds that things will work out with no positive inputs from us. I am not arguing that people daydream of specific positive scenarios that may or may not come to fruition. That is akin to worrying about specific negative events the future may hold and is a similarly useless application of brain cells in the context of progress. Rather, I am suggesting that in our efforts to combat the ills of our society we take a more general optimistic view. This view is something to the tune of “If I do good, the world will be ok” or whatever mantra works for you. This leaves headspace to address specific strategies and present-day facts with a clarity that pessimism does not allow.
In order for me to take action, I must believe that my effort will yield a positive result, and action is undoubtedly needed in the face of our current political toxicity. Remembering that even the largest groups are comprised of individuals, we can rightly assume that individual actions and speech contribute to zeitgeists at large. If, like me, you need the promise of a result to inspire your own efforts, then keep that simple premise in mind. Poof! That, my friends, is optimism. Our actions and speech, positive and negative, do not exist in a vacuum. We may never know the impact of our deeds or ideas, but an impact will most definitely be felt. The question is, which way do we want to move the needle?
Activism is essential and an undeniable component of widespread change. But marches, elections, and phone-banks take but a small fraction of the time we have available to us every day. In each moment of our day-to-day lives, we have a choice about how to approach the tasks at hand. We can choose to be friendly or distant. We can choose to pick up the trash on the road or to leave it be. We can choose to check in on our neighbors or bunker down in our households. We can choose to be kind or harsh. But make no mistake, every action and inaction is a choice and has a consequence.
Imagine what the world would look like if every single individual were optimistic about what they could accomplish with a friendly smile and a conversation. Imagine the needs that could be met, the information that could be shared, and the human connections that would undoubtedly ensue. I think we would agree that that would be a positive thing in and of itself. Optimism, too, is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
*To my fellow anxiety tornadoes: I alluded to several physical ailments that can be the result of anxiety. Try to remember that we do not know what the future holds. If you are presently cycling through the "what-ifs" of those diseases, take a moment to think about it this way: if you are able to think about what might happen in the future, is there anything right now that is a threat to your safety or life? If you are reading this, then you are likely not in imminent danger.
I suggest the following only because it is the course I have taken, there are infinite paths you can choose to deal with anxiety (and it can be dealt with - that's the good news). If anything in this post made your stomach drop and sent your mind spinning on an "I am going to die/suffer because of___" spiral, then I recommend that you talk to a friend or therapist. My anxiety reducing cocktail consists of the following: therapy, friend-dates, exercise (any flavor), an SSRI, and an educated/conscious understanding of each of these ingredients. Your cocktail might look different. Ask yourself this: do you have anything to lose by tackling your anxiety head-on? What is the worst that could happen? If you are dying of one of these anxiety-induced diseases (which you are likely not), wouldn't it be more pleasant to not be anxious in the process?
#optimist#optimism#hope#optimistic#pessimism#pessimistic#philosophy#half full#half empty#action#responsibility
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Barry Keoghan Can Do It All
Barry Keoghan returns from the bathroom of a “members only” club on the Lower East Side in New York City and plops down a handful of Dubble Bubble in front of me and his girlfriend, Shona Guerin. “Here’s some gum,” the 25-year-old Irishman says. I grab one—not because I necessarily want any, but because Keoghan seems to be presenting the Dubble Bubble as some kind of ice breaker, and it’d be rude not to join in. But as I start to untwist the wrapper, he quickly interjects: “The question is, do you trust me?”
It’s a pretty fucked up thing to say, considering Keoghan knows I’ve just seen The Killing of a Sacred Deer. In the film, directed by Yorgos Lanthimos (The Lobster, Dogtooth) and costarring Colin Farrell and Nicole Kidman, Keoghan plays a teenage boy named Martin who forces the surgeon who accidentally killed his father (Farrell) to make a dreadful compromise: sacrifice an immediate family member, or else watch each of them go paralyzed, bleed from their eyes, and then slowly die. How Martin is able to set off this agonizing chain of events is never explained; Keoghan plays him with an eerie matter-of-factness, blankly reciting the horrific rules to Farrell’s Steven Murphy like they’re lines from a book report. He uses a similar intonation to suggest that he’s poisoned the Dubble Bubble, clearly relishing the layer of wickedness that starring in Sacred Deer has added to his bright-eyed, innocent-seeming persona.
I put the gum down on the table.
Keoghan has had a remarkable few months: Before Sacred Deer, he played George, a naive, pure-hearted teen in a sweater vest, in Christopher Nolan’s blockbuster World War II epic Dunkirk. It was a small role with a basic function and only a handful of lines, but Keoghan managed to capture a sense of idealism in the character—to the point that his sudden death is genuinely and tragically sad. “I always said, I want to work with good indie filmmakers, and if a blockbuster comes up and the filmmaker is great, I’ll do that,” Keoghan says. “And then I get the best of all that! It’s Chris Nolan! The best director who also makes big films.”
Still, Keoghan’s performance in Dunkirk hardly compares to his turn as the Sacred Deer’s grim reaper in blue jeans and a backpack. Sacred Deer is a movie about responsibility, consequences, and comeuppance, and Keoghan’s Martin is the center of gravity around which all of those themes revolve. Lanthimos, as always when it comes to his films, is the one who crafted the seemingly alternate, near-human universe of Sacred Deer—at once sick and sickly humorous—but Keoghan is his mouthpiece, morphing from a simple, sympathetic kid into a merciless but magnetic exactor of justice over the course of two hours. “His face, his physicality, his whole presence,” Lanthimos tells me, when I ask why he decided to cast Keoghan. “He’s just an interesting human being to watch. It would’ve been easy to create this one-dimensional evil kid, but his mere presence conveys many different things at the same time.”
“To get to play those two roles within the space of a few months, to show my range, that’s a dream,” Keoghan says. “I want people to go, ‘Fuck, that’s him? He’s completely different.’”
Keoghan was born in one of the grittier neighborhoods of Dublin, Ireland. He’s from the north side of the River Liffey, which bisects the city and acts as a socioeconomic dividing line between the underprivileged north and the more affluent south. His mother, who was addicted to heroin, died when he was 5 years old, and he was sent to live in foster care. It’s the only segment of Keoghan’s life he won’t talk about; when I ask him about his childhood he responds, “You’ve probably done your research, haven’t you?” as if to say, “The information’s out there, so let’s move on.” When he was 11, his grandmother took him in. He’s more than happy to tell stories from his adolescence, painting a picture of himself to be just as sneakily sinister as some of the characters he’s played. He got kicked out of his all-boys high school because “they weren’t having my games anymore. The last thing I done was, I threw a coin and it hit a teacher in the head. That was the last straw for them.” He tells the story bashfully, staring down at his feet and suppressing a smile.
It was around that time that Keoghan started acting. “I seen this note in a window that said this small Irish movie Between the Canals, they were looking for actors.” Keoghan, who had never acted before, saw an opportunity. “I took the number down on the sly, because I knew that my friends would take the piss out of me, and I rang it when I went home.”
“Acting? I don’t know—I just see money,” Keoghan says when I ask what made him audition for the movie, an admission that feels honest and understandable. Actors are especially known for treating their profession like a craft they were drawn to by Dionysus himself; to hear one flatly admit that it’s a job is both jarring and refreshing. For much of the beginning of his career, Keoghan played characters similar to the side role he landed in Between the Canals: troubled kids from the streets. In 2013, he appeared in six episodes of the fourth season of Love/Hate, an Irish television series about Dublin’s criminal underbelly; he played a homeless youth in 2016’s Mammal. They weren’t splashy parts (Mammal screened at Sundance), but they were enough to get Keoghan noticed.
As Lanthimos says, Keoghan just has one of those faces. It somehow seems to be in constant flux; one second he looks like a Dior model, the next he looks like if Cillian Murphy got hit with a shovel. Sitting in front of me in a white tee and gray, Superdry sweats, he looks kind, innocent, and young—much younger than 25—but his expression can quickly flip, either because the light hit the scar under his right eye in a funny way or because he wants to tease you about poisoning your food. It’s his greatest weapon, and he knows how to use it.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer is full of disturbingly memorable scenes, but one stands out: About two-thirds through the film, Stephen Murphy’s wife, played by Kidman, confronts Martin in his home and begs him to lift the curse. Martin’s in his boxers and in the middle of eating a plate of spaghetti, which reminds him of a story about his father. As a kid, Martin remembers, he used to marvel at the way his dad ate pasta: so efficient, so brilliant. He demonstrates, twirling some of the pasta around his fork and eating it in one big mouthful. Still chewing, and with sauce covering his face, he continues the story, blankly recalling how devastating it was to grow up and one day realize that the way his father ate pasta is the way everyone eats pasta. The discovery made him feel betrayed, Martin says; as if the man whom he revered so much barely even existed. Meanwhile, Kidman’s character sits across from Martin dumbfounded, realizing how deep the boy’s scars go and perhaps coming to grips with the fact that the person who holds her life and her children’s lives in the balance is a teenager covered in marinara sauce.
It’s an outrageous scene, this kid shoveling spaghetti into his face while spouting an allegory about coming to realize your own insignificance—and Keoghan is unflinching, turning each forkful into a work of art. “You know, sitting in front of Nicole Kidman in your boxers is not an easy thing to do,” Keoghan tells me, hardly interested in talking about his performance or how he’s able to simultaneously capture pain, loss, and bald evil in one fell swoop. “I was just constantly like, ‘Can she see up there?’”
On the day we meet, Keoghan’s particularly giddy because Aaron Paul tweeted about how good he was in Sacred Deer. After six years of toiling away in mostly Irish productions, Keoghan’s performance as Martin has put him in a position where he can not only think about the future of his career, but the next five or 10 years of his life in general. Keoghan says, “It’s all a plan.” When he first signed with his talent agency, WME, this plan was already partially formulated: He had written down a list of directors he wanted to work with. Christopher Nolan and Yorgos Lanthimos were both on it. “I write everything down,” he says. “Directors, movies I want to do, that I want to produce, direct, start my own company, start my own boxing club.” Keoghan takes his roles in Dunkirk and Sacred Deer as proof that the first step to achieving a goal is putting it down on paper (or in his iPhone Notes). “I’m a big fan of the law of attraction,” he proudly states. He won’t show anyone the obsessively curated and growing list, but everything on it can be boiled down to one simple goal: “Have a successful, good career.”
Keoghan seems to know that, at 25, after two prominent roles in the films of two high-profile directors, his plan is coming together. He has two upcoming projects on his slate—an Irish movie starring Hugo Weaving and Jim Broadbent called Black 47, and American Animals, costarring Blake Jenner and Evan Peters—but he wants to ride this momentum even more. “I’m lookin’ for that script,” he says, leaning into the recorder, graveling his voice to sound tougher. “I’m lookin’ for that script!”
His personal life shows a different side of him, one that’s less scrappy and not so firmly tuned to survival mode. You might even call him a romantic. He met his girlfriend, Shona, at a bar she worked in in Kerry. He asked her out on the spot, but not to dinner or anything like that: He suggested they drive out to Dingle, a picturesque peninsula on the west coast of Ireland. “Luckily she had a car. I had no way to get to Dingle,” Keoghan notes. Two weeks later, he returned to Kerry with suitcases. They’ve been living with Shona’s mom since.
“He doesn’t put a lot of thought into things,” Shona tells me, with more admiration than admonishment. “But he’s very caring. He can feel when he’s done something wrong. It hurts him.”
Now Keoghan and Shona want to move to the United States. They don’t know where exactly—he prefers New York City, she prefers L.A.—but the idea of turning ex-pat is thrilling to them. “And we’re looking to get our own dog,” Keoghan adds. “A rescue one. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just love them, don’t I? They just listen.”
“I have to try to be in the moment,” Keoghan says at the end of our interview. “Because these moments we’ve been having lately are great. Everyone is looking at you, and it’s like, you’re totally in control of everything. It’s something that you need to enjoy.”
I pick up the gum again, and Keoghan’s eyes follow me as I put it in my coat pocket. He says nothing this time. Walking away from the table, I pull out the gum and decide to eat it.
By Andrew Gruttadaro
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Don't Just Sit There! Start Weight Loss & Control
There are a lot of handy damage control diet strategies that you should employ to best prevent yourself from overdoing it in the dining room table this holiday season. Use the tips below allowing yourself to stay social also to be capable of enjoy moderation without splitting your pants before the New Year:
1.) Perform High-Intensity Activity Before and/or After a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
I know, I know. I promised diet strategies, but I simply cannot go without recommending some activity. Your is most receptive to higher calorie and/or carbohydrate meals within half an hour before and within three hours following high-intensity activity. Ideally, you would like to workout out before AND after a big meal, however, if you'll be able to only do one, which will suffice. It is less important once you undertake it and more important that you simply undertake it. Your best options will likely be twenty or so minutes of circuit weight training or cardio interval training. Even a 20-30 plus minute walk several hours afterward can serve as being a bit of damage control.
2.) Do NOT Fast in Preparation for the Big Meal or Holiday Feast
Fasting is preparation for the free meal doesn't just lead to overeating, but worse: overeating foods which can be elevated in sugar, fat, or both! Your body is often a survival mechanism. If it hasn't had food for a while it anticipates a famine state. This means that next time that you eat your body use quite as much of the incoming food as possible to hold as excess fat (survival energy) in anticipation that it certainly can't see food again for an additional any period of time. Do yourself and one's body a favor by consuming every two to four hours when you normally should prevent yourself from being a ravenous, fat-storing beast this winter holiday!
3.) Do NOT Gorge Yourself
Eat prior to the point of satisfaction, not discomfort. Remember this: binge eating just isn't the habit of lean individuals. It is important to recognize that those holiday your meals are not only a ticket to eat just as much as it is possible to in very little time as you can. However, listen to the body and make certain to take pleasure from the meals you are craving without excess and just eat when you are hungry.
4.) Eat a High-Fiber, Protein-Rich Meal An Hour Before a Holiday Event
A meal high in fiber and protein before a big holiday meal can help prevent overeating start by making you really feel more full which means fewer calories consumed throughout the ensuing feast. My favorite strategy is always to drink a protein shake with the added fiber and healthy fats (e.g. 2-4 Tbsp. flax meal) and 1 liter of water before such a meal to maintain me nice and full upon arrival. This way you'll not lose any friends to eat their dinner platter and you'll save your midsection from the fluffier existence!
5.) Eat Leans Proteins and Fruits and Vegetables FIRST
Just because it's actually a holiday meal does not imply you are able to't eat any nutritious food. Make sure to stock up on healthier food choices first and try to eat the maximum amount of lean meat, fish, and fruits and vegetables as you can on the start of each holiday event. This will leave less room to the unhealthier, higher-calorie treats. At least this way you know one's body becomes in certain good nutrition and you're not putting yourself at excessive risk for sickness and/or other health issues.
6.) Drink, Drink, Drink Water!
Water competes for space within your stomach and truly helps decrease appetite. For every plate, consume, try to drink at the very least 1-2 servings of water. After that second plate, when you have 1 full liter of water inside your stomach, I bet you could just throw inside towel!
7.) Do NOT Eat Again Until Hungry Following a Large Meal
Now I know I already said to nibble on every 2-4 hours, but there is certainly one exception for this. If you consume a huge meal, it is important not to consume again until you are hungry and/or no more full. If the body is just not employed to eating such a major meal, it will need an extremely longer time to digest everything food and the worst thing you are able to do is put more food into a currently full stomach, unless your ultimate goal would be to perform the stop, drop and roll drill. Only whenever you are hungry again in the event you resume your normal diet plan following a major holiday meal.
8.) Immediately Resume Your Normal Eating Schedule on the Next Meal
What's done is performed. Now it's time for it to make contact with your regular eating plan. Remember weekly calorie consumption is far more important than daily caloric intake. For example, let's say which you need 3,000 calories per day to take care of your overall bodyweight. Well, all that you have to do is make certain the average daily calorie consumption every week is 3,000 calories daily. This means that you'll be able to fluctuate your everyday calorie consumption and yield the same results as if you ate that same amount on a daily basis. So if you have one day of big eating where you consume 9,000 calories (just a sample, not a recommendation), but you only eat 2,000 calories each day the remainder of the week, you still turn out with the same caloric balance. Again, I am not recommending that you eat in such a severe manner, rather I am suggesting that you do not have to obsess about being perfect. Enjoy some indulging without excess at your various holiday festivities if you know the week in review trumps a day, even once you are particularly naughty on any given day.
9.) Never Eat Junk Food for Breakfast or Before Bed
Eating a highly refined carbohydrate meal very first thing within the morning could make your glucose levels go crazy for the remainder of the afternoon producing greater unhealthy food cravings and uncontrollable hunger. On the other hand, eating a huge meal before going to bed can lead to a bunch of unused energy which will be stored as body fat and you well might have trouble sleeping wonderful that extra food volume inside your stomach!
10.) Control your Portions
Try to eat only half of all of the servings of unhealthy food that you choose. Half of the portions equal half the calories!
11.) Avoid Empty Liquid Calories and Alcohol
One can easily consume over 1,000 calories per day from liquid calories alone. This means that in one week, you will gain 2 lbs of unwanted fat from just fluids! Opt for regular solid food calories versus empty liquid calories (e.g. juices and soda pops), for a minimum of the foodstuff will satisfy you and provide some nutrition whereas liquid calories, particularly alcohol, haven't any such effect. Rather, sugary and/or alcoholic drinks tend to make you hungrier generally speaking and sometimes hungrier for unhealthy food especially. Furthermore, one's body cannot burn up fat before alcohol is processed out of the body in addition to the fact that consumption of alcohol lowers leptin levels thus defeating one of the primary purposes of this flexible eating (decreased leptin levels increase hunger and decreases the body's using fat for fuel). Thus over-consumption of alcohol can avoid the weight loss process from resuming until a few days later and/or even cause unwanted fat gain and thus cost you as little as a few days to as long like a full week!
12.) Use Lower Calorie/Carbohydrate Substitutes Whenever Possible
Instead of employing sugar, choose zero-calorie alternatives like Splenda or stevia. They can deliver much the same taste without every one of the extra sugar and calories. Even try replacing yeast with protein powder whenever you bake. The extra protein and reduced carbohydrates will lead to a slimmer you while still providing some great tasting treats! Your goal should be to get the minimal volume of calories that could provide a similar great taste which makes the vacation treats enjoyable instead of simply overdoing it since you can!
13.) Avoid Eating Meals which can be High in Both Fat and Carbohydrates
youtube
The absolute worst thing that you can do is to have a meal that's loaded with both fat and carbs. The high amount of carbs will cause a rapid increase in blood sugar and so large increases within the potent fat-storing hormone Insulin. The high amount of fat will cause a large surge in free essential fatty acids inside your bloodstream. Since Insulin has already been present in considerable amounts, in addition to there like a large amount of free essential fatty acids now available with your blood, takes place is set for anyone free fat to be gobbled up and stored because of your fat cells. This may be the same in principle as becoming the following Goodyear blimp, so it's imperative to use caution at your holiday meals when it comes to combining fat (particularly saturated fats) and carbs (particularly starches and refined sugars). In general, it's best to pick one within the other. But since most people crave carbs at their free meals, it can be essential to maintain your fat low at this meal. Want pasta? Instead of alfredo sauce, opt for a marinara sauce with wholemeal pasta. Want pizza? Make your pizza with whole-grain crust and fat-free cheese. Want mashed potatoes? Well then make sure to skip the gravy and go easy for the butter. These small changes can help you save hundreds, even thousands of calories, and more importantly prevents your holiday feasts from creating the best fat-storing environment that may amount to from achieving your quality of life and fitness goals.
0 notes
Text
Want More Money? Start Weight Loss & Control
There are a few handy damage control diet strategies that you ought to employ to best prevent yourself from overdoing it at the table this holidays. Use the tips below allowing yourself to stay social and to have the ability to take pleasure in moderation without splitting your pants prior to New Year:
1.) Perform High-Intensity Activity Before and/or After a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
I know, I know. I promised diet strategies, but I simply cannot go without recommending some activity. Your person is most receptive to higher calorie and/or carbohydrate meals within half an hour before and within three hours following high-intensity activity. Ideally, you would like to workout out before AND after a huge meal, in case you are able to only do one, that can suffice. It is less important whenever you take action and more important which you take action. Your best options will probably be twenty minutes of circuit strength training or cardio interval training. Even a 20-30 plus minute walk a couple of hours afterward can serve as being a bit of damage control.
2.) Do NOT Fast in Preparation for any Big Meal or Holiday Feast
Fasting is preparation for any free meal doesn't only lead to overeating, but worse: overeating foods which might be very high in sugar, fat, or both! Your body can be a survival mechanism. If it hasn't had food in a while it anticipates a famine state. This means that next time that you simply eat one's body use because the incoming food as you can to store as extra fat (survival energy) in anticipation that it certainly can't see food again for one more long time. Do yourself and your system a big favor by eating every 2 to 4 hours as you normally should prevent yourself from becoming a ravenous, fat-storing beast this winter holiday!
3.) Do NOT Gorge Yourself
Eat before point of satisfaction, not discomfort. Remember this: binge eating just isn't the habit of lean individuals. It is important to understand that those holiday meals is not only a ticket you can eat just as much as it is possible to in very little time as possible. However, pay attention to the body and be sure to enjoy the meals you might be craving without excess simply eat once you are hungry.
4.) Eat a High-Fiber, Protein-Rich Meal An Hour Before a Holiday Event
A meal an excellent source of fiber and protein before a huge holiday meal can help prevent overeating by making you're feeling more full which often means fewer calories consumed in the ensuing feast. My favorite strategy is to drink a protein shake with an added fiber and healthy fats (e.g. 2-4 Tbsp. flax meal) and 1 liter of water before such a meal to help keep me nice and full upon arrival. This way you'll not lose any friends by eating their entire dinner platter and you should useful midsection from your fluffier existence!
5.) Eat Leans Proteins and Fruits and Vegetables FIRST
Just because it's a holiday meal does not mean you'll be able to't eat any nutritious food. Make sure to load up on healthier food choices first and try and eat all the lean meat, fish, and vegetables and fruits as you can on the start of each holiday event. This will leave less room for your unhealthier, higher-calorie treats. At least using this method you understand the body becomes in certain good nutrition and you are not putting yourself at excessive risk for sickness and/or other health issues.
6.) Drink, Drink, Drink Water!
Water competes for space within your stomach and truly helps decrease appetite. For every plate, you eat, attempt to drink a minimum of 1-2 servings of water. After that second plate, whenever you have 1 full liter of water in your stomach, I bet you may just throw within the towel!
7.) Do NOT Eat Again Until Hungry Following a Large Meal
Now I know I already mentioned to consume every 2-4 hours, but there's one exception for this. If you eat a huge meal, it is important not to consume again until you might be hungry and/or no more full. If the body is not utilized to eating such a major meal, this will require a significantly longer time to digest all of that food and the worst thing it is possible to do is put more food into a currently full stomach, unless your ultimate goal is always to perform stop, drop and roll drill. Only once you are hungry again in the event you resume your normal weight loss program following a large holiday meal.
8.) Immediately Resume Your Normal Eating Schedule in the Next Meal
What's done is completed. Now it is time for it to make contact with your family diet plan. Remember weekly calorie intake is far more essential than daily caloric intake. For example, let's say that you simply need 3,000 calories each day to keep your existing body weight. Well, all of that you need to do is be sure the average daily calorie consumption every week is 3,000 calories per day. This means that you'll be able to fluctuate your everyday calorie intake and yield a similar results that you ate that same amount daily. So if you have one day of big eating where you take in 9,000 calories (just an illustration, not only a recommendation), however you only eat 2,000 calories per day other week, you will still turn out in the same caloric balance. Again, I am not recommending that you simply eat in these a serious manner, rather I am suggesting that you do not must obsess about being perfect. Enjoy some indulging in moderation for your various holiday festivities realizing that the week in review trumps each day, even when you are particularly naughty on any given day.
9.) Never Eat Junk Food for Breakfast or Before Bed
Eating a very refined carbohydrate meal initial thing inside the morning is likely to make your blood sugar add too much throughout your day resulting in greater processed foods cravings and uncontrollable hunger. On the other hand, eating a major meal before going to bed will lead to a couple of unused energy that can be stored as extra fat and also you well could have sleep problems wonderful that extra food volume inside your stomach!
10.) Control your Portions
Try you can eat only half each of the servings of unhealthy food that you simply choose. Half of the portions equal half the calories!
youtube
11.) Avoid Empty Liquid Calories and Alcohol
One can certainly consume over 1,000 calories daily from liquid calories alone. This means that a single week, you will get 2 lbs of unwanted fat from just fluids! Opt for regular solid food calories versus empty liquid calories (e.g. juices and sodas), for no less than the meals will satisfy you and still provide some nutrition whereas liquid calories, particularly alcohol, have zero such effect. Rather, sugary and/or alcoholic drinks tend to make you hungrier normally and sometimes hungrier for unhealthy foods especially. Furthermore, your system cannot burn up fat before the alcohol is processed out of the body as well as the idea that consumption of alcohol lowers leptin levels thus defeating one of many purposes of the flexible eating (decreased leptin levels increase hunger and decreases one's body's using fat for fuel). Thus over-consumption of alcohol can steer clear of the fat reducing process from resuming until a couple of days later and/or even cause unwanted fat gain thereby amount to very little as a few days to as long as a full week!
12.) Use Lower Calorie/Carbohydrate Substitutes Whenever Possible
Instead of employing sugar, choose zero-calorie alternatives like Splenda or stevia. They can deliver the same taste without every one of the extra sugar and calories. Even try replacing yeast with protein powder if you bake. The extra protein and reduced carbohydrates can lead to a slimmer you while still providing some terrific tasting treats! Your goal should be to obtain the minimal quantity of calories that could provide a similar great taste that makes the break treats enjoyable in lieu of simply overdoing it as you can!
13.) Avoid Eating Meals which are High in Both Fat and Carbohydrates
The absolute worst thing that it is possible to do is usually to consume a meal which is full of both fat and carbs. The high amount of carbs will lead to a rapid boost in blood sugar and so large increases inside potent fat-storing hormone Insulin. The high volume of fat will lead to a large rise in free essential fatty acids within your bloodstream. Since Insulin is already present in a lot, along with there like a large quantity of free fat now available within your blood, happens is set for those free fatty acids being gobbled up and stored by your fat cells. This could be the same as becoming the following Goodyear blimp, so it is vital to be cautious your holiday meals with regards to combining fat (particularly saturated fats) and carbs (particularly starches and refined sugars). In general, it's best to choose one in the other. But since most of the people crave carbs at their free meals, it really is essential to keep the fat low as of this meal. Want pasta? Instead of alfredo sauce, opt for the marinara sauce with wholegrain pasta. Want pizza? Make your pizza with whole-grain crust and fat-free cheese. Want mashed potatoes? Well then make sure to skip the gravy and go easy about the butter. These small changes will save you hundreds, even thousands of calories, and much more importantly prevents your holiday feasts from creating the perfect fat-storing environment that will cost you from achieving your overall health and fitness goals.
0 notes
Text
3 Tips About Weight Loss & Control You Can't Afford To Miss
There are a few handy damage control diet strategies that you ought to employ to best prevent yourself from overdoing it on the dining room table this winter holiday. Use the tips below to allow yourself to stay social also to be able to have pleasure in moderation without splitting your pants prior to New Year:
1.) Perform High-Intensity Activity Before and/or After a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
I know, I know. I promised diet strategies, but I simply cannot go without recommending some activity. Your is most receptive to raised calorie and/or carbohydrate meals within half an hour before and within three hours following high-intensity activity. Ideally, you need to workout out before AND after a large meal, in case you are able to only do one, that can suffice. It is less important if you take action and more essential that you do it. Your best options will likely be 20 minutes of circuit weight training or cardio interval training. Even a 20-30 plus minute walk a few hours afterward can serve as a bit of damage control.
2.) Do NOT Fast in Preparation for a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
Fasting is preparation for a free meal won't bring about overeating, but worse: overeating foods which can be elevated in sugar, fat, or both! Your body can be a survival mechanism. If it hasn't had food in a while it anticipates a famine state. This means that the next time which you eat your system uses quite as much of the incoming food as possible to hold as body fat (survival energy) in anticipation that it will not see food again for one more long period. Do yourself and your body the following favor by eating every a couple of hours because you normally should prevent yourself from being a ravenous, fat-storing beast this winter holiday!
3.) Do NOT Gorge Yourself
Eat until the point of satisfaction, not discomfort. Remember this: binge eating isn't the habit of lean individuals. It is vital to recognize that those holiday your meals are not a ticket to consume up to it is possible to in only a small amount time as you can. However, tune in to one's body and ensure to savor the meals you happen to be craving sparingly and only eat whenever you are hungry.
4.) Eat a High-Fiber, Protein-Rich Meal An Hour Before a Holiday Event
A meal an excellent source of fiber and protein before a large holiday meal can help prevent overeating by causing you feel more full which means fewer calories consumed in the ensuing feast. My favorite strategy is to drink a protein shake having an added fiber and healthy fats (e.g. 2-4 Tbsp. flax meal) and 1 liter of water before such a meal to maintain me nice and full upon arrival. This way you will not lose any friends when you eat their dinner platter and you should save your midsection from your fluffier existence!
5.) Eat Leans Proteins and Fruits and Vegetables FIRST
Just because it is a holiday meal doesn't mean you are able to't eat any nutritious food. Make sure to group on healthier food choices first and try and eat the maximum amount of lean meat, fish, and vegetables and fruits as you possibly can at the start of each holiday event. This will leave less room for the unhealthier, higher-calorie treats. At least in this way you already know the body gets in most good nutrition and you happen to be not putting yourself at excessive risk for sickness and/or other health conditions.
6.) Drink, Drink, Drink Water!
youtube
Water competes for space within your stomach and truly helps decrease appetite. For every plate, you take in, try to drink no less than 1-2 servings of water. After that second plate, when you have 1 full liter of water inside your stomach, I bet you may just throw within the towel!
7.) Do NOT Eat Again Until Hungry Following a Large Meal
Now I know I already said to consume every 2-4 hours, but there's one exception to this. If you have a huge meal, it can be important not to eat again until you happen to be hungry and/or no more full. If your system just isn't accustomed to eating such a major meal, that will require a significantly longer timeframe to digest all that food and the worst thing you can do is put more food into an already full stomach, unless your goals is always to perform the stop, drop and roll drill. Only whenever you are hungry again should you resume your normal eating plan following a big holiday meal.
8.) Immediately Resume Your Normal Eating Schedule with the Next Meal
What's done is conducted. Now it can be time to make contact with your family eating plan. Remember weekly calorie intake is far more important than daily caloric intake. For example, let's say that you need 3,000 calories every day to take care of your existing body mass. Well, everything you need to do is ensure the average daily calorie consumption per week is 3,000 calories each day. This means that you are able to fluctuate your day-to-day caloric intake and yield the same results as if you ate that same amount each day. So if you have 1 day of big eating where you take in 9,000 calories (just a sample, not just a recommendation), nevertheless, you only eat 2,000 calories each day other week, you continue to wind up with the same caloric balance. Again, I am not recommending which you eat in these a serious manner, rather I am suggesting that you just do not ought to obsess about being perfect. Enjoy some indulging moderately your various holiday festivities knowing that the week in review trumps each day, even whenever you are particularly naughty on a day.
9.) Never Eat Junk Food for Breakfast or Before Bed
Eating an incredibly refined carbohydrate meal very first thing inside the morning could make your glucose levels add too much throughout the afternoon leading to greater unhealthy food cravings and uncontrollable hunger. On the other hand, eating a big meal before going to bed can lead to a couple of unused energy that can be stored as excess fat and also you very well may have sleep disorders effortlessly that extra food volume within your stomach!
10.) Control your Portions
Try you can eat only 50 % of every one of the servings of unhealthy food that you simply choose. Half of the portions equal half the calories!
11.) Avoid Empty Liquid Calories and Alcohol
One can readily consume over 1,000 calories every day from liquid calories alone. This means that a single week, you get 2 lbs of unwanted fat from just fluids! Opt for regular solid food calories versus empty liquid calories (e.g. juices and carbonated drinks), for no less than the meal will satisfy you and provide some nutrition whereas liquid calories, particularly alcohol, don't have any such effect. Rather, sugary and/or alcoholic drinks make you hungrier generally and frequently hungrier for unhealthy foods particularly. Furthermore, your body cannot burn up fat before the alcohol is processed out of the body beyond the proven fact that consumption of alcohol lowers leptin levels thus defeating one of the main purposes of the flexible eating (decreased leptin levels increase hunger and decreases one's body's use of fat for fuel). Thus over-consumption of alcohol can stop the fat reducing process from resuming until several days later and/or even cause extra fat gain thereby set you back only a small amount like a few days to as long being a full week!
12.) Use Lower Calorie/Carbohydrate Substitutes Whenever Possible
Instead of employing sugar, go for zero-calorie alternatives like Splenda or stevia. They can deliver much the same taste without all the extra sugar and calories. Even try replacing yeast with protein powder if you bake. The extra protein and reduced carbohydrates can lead to a slimmer you while still providing some terrific tasting treats! Your goal is always to find the minimal level of calories that could provide a similar great taste which makes the vacation treats enjoyable as opposed to simply overdoing it as you can!
13.) Avoid Eating Meals that are High in Both Fat and Carbohydrates
The absolute worst thing that you are able to do is always to follow a meal that is certainly an excellent source of both fat and carbs. The high level of carbs will bring about a rapid boost in blood sugar levels and thus large increases inside the potent fat-storing hormone Insulin. The high quantity of fat will result in a large boost in free efas with your bloodstream. Since Insulin is within huge amounts, together with there being a large quantity of free essential fatty acids available today in your blood, the stage is defined for all those free essential fatty acids to become gobbled up and stored because of your fat cells. This will be the same as becoming another Goodyear blimp, so it really is important to be cautious for your holiday meals in relation to combining fat (particularly bad fats) and carbs (particularly starches and refined sugars). In general, it is best to make a choice in the other. But since many people crave carbs at their free meals, it can be essential to keep your fat low as of this meal. Want pasta? Instead of alfredo sauce, opt for the marinara sauce with wholegrain pasta. Want pizza? Make your pizza with whole-grain crust and fat-free cheese. Want mashed potatoes? Well then be sure you skip the gravy and go easy about the butter. These small changes will save you hundreds, even a huge number of calories, plus more importantly will prevent your holiday feasts from creating the optimal fat-storing environment that will amount to from achieving your quality of life and fitness goals.
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Text
How To Learn Weight Loss & Control
There are a few handy damage control diet strategies that you should employ to best prevent yourself from overdoing it in the dining room table this christmas season. Use the tips below to allow for yourself to stay social and to have the ability to indulge in moderation without splitting your pants prior to New Year:
1.) Perform High-Intensity Activity Before and/or After a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
I know, I know. I promised diet strategies, but I just cannot go without recommending some activity. Your body's most receptive to higher calorie and/or carbohydrate meals within half an hour before and within three hours following high-intensity activity. Ideally, you would like to workout out before AND after a large meal, but if you'll be able to only do one, that may suffice. It is less important whenever you get it done and more valuable that you do it. Your best options is going to be twenty minutes of circuit resistance training or cardio interval training. Even a 20-30 plus minute walk a couple of hours afterward can serve like a bit of damage control.
2.) Do NOT Fast in Preparation for any Big Meal or Holiday Feast
Fasting is preparation for a free meal doesn't only result in overeating, but worse: overeating foods that are extremely high in sugar, fat, or both! Your body is a survival mechanism. If it hasn't had food for a while it anticipates a famine state. This means that when that you eat your system uses because the incoming food as you possibly can to hold as excess fat (survival energy) in anticipation that it won't see food again for one more any period of time. Do yourself and the body a big favor when you eat every two to four hours because you normally should prevent yourself from becoming a ravenous, fat-storing beast this christmas season!
3.) Do NOT Gorge Yourself
Eat prior to the point of satisfaction, not discomfort. Remember this: binge eating is not the habit of lean individuals. It is imperative to understand that those holiday your meals are not just a ticket you can eat up to it is possible to in only a small amount time as is possible. However, pay attention to one's body and make certain to savor the meals you are craving without excess and only eat if you are hungry.
4.) Eat a High-Fiber, Protein-Rich Meal An Hour Before a Holiday Event
A meal an excellent source of fiber and protein before a large holiday meal may help prevent overeating by causing you feel more full which often means fewer calories consumed in the ensuing feast. My favorite strategy is to drink a protein shake with an added fiber and healthy fats (e.g. 2-4 Tbsp. flax meal) and 1 liter of water before such a meal to help keep me nice and full upon arrival. This way you won't lose any friends when you eat their entire dinner platter and you'll save your midsection coming from a fluffier existence!
5.) Eat Leans Proteins and Fruits and Vegetables FIRST
Just because it's actually a holiday meal does not imply you can't eat any nutritious food. Make sure to group on healthier food choices first and make an effort to eat the maximum amount of lean meat, fish, and vegetables and fruits as you possibly can on the start of each holiday event. This will leave less room to the unhealthier, higher-calorie treats. At least this way you already know your body is getting in certain good nutrition and you happen to be not putting yourself at excessive risk for sickness and/or other health concerns.
6.) Drink, Drink, Drink Water!
youtube
Water competes for space in your stomach and truly helps decrease appetite. For every plate, you take in, make an effort to drink a minimum of 1-2 associated with water. After that second plate, if you have 1 full liter of water with your stomach, I bet you may just throw inside towel!
7.) Do NOT Eat Again Until Hungry Following a Large Meal
Now I know I already mentioned you can eat every 2-4 hours, but there exists one exception to this particular. If you follow a huge meal, it is important not to consume again until you might be hungry and/or no longer full. If your body is not employed to eating such a large meal, that is going to take a significantly extended period to digest everything that food as well as the worst thing you can do is put more food into a currently full stomach, unless your goals is always to do the stop, drop and roll drill. Only when you are hungry again should you resume your normal diet program following a huge holiday meal.
8.) Immediately Resume Your Normal Eating Schedule in the Next Meal
What's done is done. Now it can be time for you to return to your normal eating plan. Remember weekly caloric intake is far more valuable than daily calorie consumption. For example, let's say that you simply need 3,000 calories per day to keep up your existing body weight. Well, everything you'll want to do is make sure the average daily calorie consumption per week is 3,000 calories every day. This means that you'll be able to fluctuate your everyday calorie intake and yield the same results as if you ate that same amount on a daily basis. So if you have 1 day of big eating where you eat 9,000 calories (just an illustration, not just a recommendation), however you only eat 2,000 calories daily the remainder of the week, you will still end up in the same caloric balance. Again, I am not recommending which you eat such a serious manner, rather I am suggesting which you do not need to obsess about being perfect. Enjoy some indulging without excess your various holiday festivities knowing that the week in review trumps per day, even whenever you are particularly naughty on any given day.
9.) Never Eat Junk Food for Breakfast or Before Bed
Eating an incredibly refined carbohydrate meal very first thing within the morning could make your blood sugar levels drink too much for the remainder of your day causing greater unhealthy foods cravings and uncontrollable hunger. On the other hand, eating a big meal before bed will lead to a couple of unused energy that will be stored as body fat and you well could have trouble sleeping wonderful that extra food volume with your stomach!
10.) Control your Portions
Try to nibble on only half of every one of the servings of unhealthy food that you simply choose. Half of the portions equal half the calories!
11.) Avoid Empty Liquid Calories and Alcohol
One can easily consume over 1,000 calories each day from liquid calories alone. This means that in one week, you get 2 lbs of body fat from just fluids! Opt for regular solid food calories versus empty liquid calories (e.g. juices and carbonated drinks), for at the very least the foodstuff will satisfy you and offer some nutrition whereas liquid calories, particularly alcohol, have no such effect. Rather, sugary and/or alcoholic drinks make you hungrier generally and sometimes hungrier for junk food specifically. Furthermore, the body cannot burn up fat before alcohol is processed out of the body as well as the proven fact that alcohol consumption lowers leptin levels thus defeating one of the many purposes with this flexible eating (decreased leptin levels increase hunger and decreases the body's use of fat for fuel). Thus over-consumption of alcohol can avoid the weight loss process from resuming until a couple of days later and/or even cause unwanted weight gain and therefore cost you only a small amount as being a few days to as long as being a full week!
12.) Use Lower Calorie/Carbohydrate Substitutes Whenever Possible
Instead of utilizing sugar, select zero-calorie alternatives like Splenda or stevia. They can deliver an identical taste without every one of the extra sugar and calories. Even try replacing yeast with protein powder whenever you bake. The extra protein and reduced carbohydrates can lead to a slimmer you while still providing some terrific tasting treats! Your goal must be to obtain the minimal quantity of calories that may provide a similar great taste that creates the break treats enjoyable instead of simply overdoing it because you can!
13.) Avoid Eating Meals which are High in Both Fat and Carbohydrates
The absolute worst thing that you are able to do is usually to follow a meal which is full of both fat and carbs. The high amount of carbs will cause a rapid boost in glucose levels and so large increases inside potent fat-storing hormone Insulin. The high amount of fat will cause a large rise in free efas with your bloodstream. Since Insulin is already contained in huge amounts, as well as there like a large volume of free fatty acids available nowadays within your blood, takes place is set for all those free fatty acids being gobbled up and stored by your fat cells. This may be the same as becoming the next Goodyear blimp, so it can be important use caution at the holiday meals in relation to combining fat (particularly bad fats) and carbs (particularly starches and refined sugars). In general, it really is best to choose one over the other. But since most of the people crave carbs at their free meals, it can be essential to keep your fat low only at that meal. Want pasta? Instead of alfredo sauce, opt for a marinara sauce with whole fiber pasta. Want pizza? Make your pizza with whole-grain crust and fat-free cheese. Want mashed potatoes? Well then be sure to skip the gravy and go easy about the butter. These small changes can help you save hundreds, even a huge number of calories, and much more importantly prevents your holiday feasts from creating the perfect fat-storing environment that can set you back from achieving your overall health and fitness goals.
0 notes
Text
How To Find The Right Weight Loss & Control For Your Specific Product(Service).
There are a few handy damage control diet strategies that you need to employ to best prevent yourself from overdoing it on the dinning table this christmas season. Use the tips below to allow yourself to stay social also to have the ability to have pleasure in moderation without splitting your pants prior to New Year:
1.) Perform High-Intensity Activity Before and/or After a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
I know, I know. I promised diet strategies, but I just can't go without recommending some activity. Your is most receptive to raised calorie and/or carbohydrate meals within a half-hour before and within three hours following high-intensity activity. Ideally, you would want to workout out before AND after a big meal, however, if you can only do one, that will suffice. It is less important if you undertake it and more important which you undertake it. Your best options will probably be 20 minutes of circuit strength training or cardio interval training. Even a 20-30 plus minute walk a couple of hours afterward can serve like a bit of damage control.
2.) Do NOT Fast in Preparation for any Big Meal or Holiday Feast
Fasting is preparation for the free meal will not only bring about overeating, but worse: overeating foods which might be extremely high in sugar, fat, or both! Your body is often a survival mechanism. If it hasn't had food for a while it anticipates a famine state. This means that the very next time that you just eat your system use as much of the incoming food as possible to keep as extra fat (survival energy) in anticipation that it certainly can't see food again for one more long period. Do yourself and the body a favor by eating every a couple of hours because you normally should prevent yourself from becoming a ravenous, fat-storing beast this holidays!
youtube
3.) Do NOT Gorge Yourself
Eat before the point of satisfaction, not discomfort. Remember this: binge eating is just not the habit of lean individuals. It is vital to understand that those holiday meals is not just a ticket to eat up to you can in as little time as you possibly can. However, pay attention to the body and ensure to enjoy the foods you are craving moderately in support of eat when you are hungry.
4.) Eat a High-Fiber, Protein-Rich Meal An Hour Before a Holiday Event
A meal loaded with fiber and protein before a major holiday meal might help prevent overeating by making you really feel more full which in turn means fewer calories consumed through the ensuing feast. My favorite strategy is to drink a protein shake with an added fiber and healthy fats (e.g. 2-4 Tbsp. flax meal) and 1 liter of water before this type of meal to keep me nice and full upon arrival. This way you won't lose any friends by consuming all of their dinner platter and you will probably useful midsection from the fluffier existence!
5.) Eat Leans Proteins and Fruits and Vegetables FIRST
Just because it is a holiday meal doesn't mean you can't eat any nutritious food. Make sure to bunch on healthier food choices first and attempt to eat as much lean meat, fish, and fruits and vegetables as you possibly can in the start of each holiday event. This will leave less room for your unhealthier, higher-calorie treats. At least by doing this you realize your body is becoming in some good nutrition and you're not putting yourself at excessive risk for sickness and/or other health conditions.
6.) Drink, Drink, Drink Water!
Water competes for space with your stomach and truly helps decrease appetite. For every plate, you take in, try and drink no less than 1-2 portions of water. After that second plate, once you have 1 full liter of water in your stomach, I bet you could possibly just throw inside the towel!
7.) Do NOT Eat Again Until Hungry Following a Large Meal
Now I know I already stated you can eat every 2-4 hours, but there is one exception to the. If you have a huge meal, it is important not to eat again until you happen to be hungry and/or will no longer full. If the body isn't utilized to eating such a big meal, that will require an extremely extended period to digest everything that food and the worst thing you'll be able to do is put more food into an already full stomach, unless your ultimate goal is to perform stop, drop and roll drill. Only if you are hungry again when you resume your normal eating plan following a big holiday meal.
8.) Immediately Resume Your Normal Eating Schedule with the Next Meal
What's done is done. Now it really is time for it to make contact with your normal eating plan. Remember weekly calorie consumption is far more important than daily calorie consumption. For example, let's say that you just need 3,000 calories per day to maintain your current body weight. Well, all of that you'll want to do is make certain the average daily calorie intake weekly is 3,000 calories each day. This means that you'll be able to fluctuate your evryday calorie consumption and yield a similar results as if you ate that same amount every day. So if you have 1 day of big eating where you take in 9,000 calories (just a good example, not just a recommendation), nevertheless, you only eat 2,000 calories per day the rest of the week, you will still find yourself on the same caloric balance. Again, I am not recommending which you eat in these a serious manner, rather I am suggesting which you do not must obsess about being perfect. Enjoy some indulging sparingly your various holiday festivities if you know the week in review trumps a day, even if you are particularly naughty on any given day.
9.) Never Eat Junk Food for Breakfast or Before Bed
Eating a highly refined carbohydrate meal very first thing inside morning is likely to make your blood sugar levels add too much throughout the day resulting in greater processed foods cravings and uncontrollable hunger. On the other hand, eating a big meal before going to bed will result in a few unused energy which will be stored as extra fat and you adequately may have sleep disorders with all of that extra food volume within your stomach!
10.) Control your Portions
Try to eat only 1 / 2 of all of the servings of unhealthy food that you choose. Half of the portions equal half the calories!
11.) Avoid Empty Liquid Calories and Alcohol
One can readily consume over 1,000 calories every day from liquid calories alone. This means that in one week, you will gain 2 lbs of unwanted fat from just fluids! Opt for regular solid food calories versus empty liquid calories (e.g. juices and soda pops), for at least the meals will satiate and provide some nutrition whereas liquid calories, particularly alcohol, haven't any such effect. Rather, sugary and/or alcoholic drinks make you hungrier generally speaking and sometimes hungrier for processed foods in particular. Furthermore, your system cannot burn up fat before alcohol is processed out of the body in addition to the fact that drinking lowers leptin levels thus defeating one of the many purposes with this flexible eating (decreased leptin levels increase hunger and decreases your body's using fat for fuel). Thus over-consumption of alcohol can steer clear of the weight loss process from resuming until a few days later and/or even cause unwanted fat gain and so cost you as little being a few days to as long being a full week!
12.) Use Lower Calorie/Carbohydrate Substitutes Whenever Possible
Instead utilizing sugar, select zero-calorie alternatives like Splenda or stevia. They can deliver much the same taste without all the extra sugar and calories. Even try replacing yeast with protein powder whenever you bake. The extra protein and reduced carbohydrates will lead to a slimmer you while still providing some great tasting treats! Your goal should be to find the minimal amount of calories that can provide the identical great taste that makes the holiday treats enjoyable rather than simply overdoing it because you can!
13.) Avoid Eating Meals which might be High in Both Fat and Carbohydrates
The absolute worst thing that you can do is usually to follow a meal which is full of both fat and carbs. The high level of carbs will bring about a rapid surge in glucose levels and therefore large increases inside potent fat-storing hormone Insulin. The high amount of fat will bring about a large boost in free efas in your bloodstream. Since Insulin is already present in huge amounts, in addition to there as being a large volume of free essential fatty acids now available in your blood, happens is defined for those free essential fatty acids being gobbled up and stored through your fat cells. This will be the same in principle as becoming another Goodyear blimp, so it's imperative to be cautious for your holiday meals in terms of combining fat (particularly saturated and trans fats) and carbs (particularly starches and refined sugars). In general, it can be best to pick one over the other. But since many people crave carbs at their free meals, it's essential to keep the fat low at this meal. Want pasta? Instead of alfredo sauce, opt for any marinara sauce with wholegrain pasta. Want pizza? Make your pizza with whole-grain crust and fat-free cheese. Want mashed potatoes? Well then make sure you skip the gravy and go easy on the butter. These small changes could help you save hundreds, even a large number of calories, and more importantly may prevent your holiday feasts from creating the perfect fat-storing environment that may run you from achieving your quality of life and fitness goals.
0 notes
Text
The 10 Best New Sandwiches In Austin added to Google Docs
The 10 Best New Sandwiches In Austin
Austin is a taco town - with a taco truck basically on every corner - but as more places switch to takeout and delivery, we’ve seen an influx of restaurants adding new sandwiches to their menus. So we put this list together of our favorites because we would really hate for you to miss out on a sandwich opportunity (don’t worry, we still love tacos, especially breakfast tacos. As far as new sandwiches go, there’s everything from po’boys to fried chicken sandwiches, to a Vietnamese pho dip and more.
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plus more restaurant intel you won't find anywhere else. ATL ATX BOS CHI LDN LA MIA NYC PHL SF SEA DC Subscribe Smart move. Excellent information will arrive in your inbox soon. Do you have friends and family who also eat food? Enter their emails below and we’ll make sure they’re eating well. (Don’t worry, we won’t subscribe them to our newsletter - they can do that themselves.) Help Your Friends No Thanks Well done. You’re a good person. All good. We still like you. Want to quickly find restaurants on the go? Download The Infatuation app. The New Sandwich Spots Raphael Brion Easy Tiger Linc $$$$ 6406 N Interstate 35 Frontage Rd
It takes a village to make a good sandwich it seems - the Prosciutto Baguette sandwich is a multinational affair, combining a French-inspired baguette, Italian prosciutto, and Spanish manchego cheese. And Easy Tiger knows that they have something special here, going so far as wrapping it in paper and tying it up with string, like it belongs in a picnic basket attached to your bicycle out in the French countryside. “Sacré bleu,” you mutter to yourself as you eat one of the better sandwiches you’ve ever had.
The sandwich: Prosciutto Baguette
Price: $12
Raphael Brion Bufalina Deli $ $ $ $ Sandwiches , Italian in East Austin $$$$ 500 San Marcos St #105
Bufalina Deli’s meatball parm hoagie is the kind of sandwich that you happily drive clear across town for. It’s the kind of sandwich you order the day before to ensure you get one before they sell out. It’s a proper hoagie - a hulking, two-handed affair. Like building a dresser from Ikea, the sandwich is a little bit of a commitment, but instead of a set of Allen wrenches and the better part of an afternoon, it involves your jaw, a hearty combination of meatballs, marinara, mozzarella, and parmesan cheese - and most likely a nap.
The sandwich: Meatball Parm Hoagie
Price: $14
Nicolai McCrary Kalimotxo $ $ $ $ Spanish in Downtown Austin $$$$ 607 W 3rd St Suite 105
To call this sandwich just a “ham sandwich” is a bit of a misnomer, akin to calling a double patty melt on Texas toast simply a “beef sandwich.” It starts from the outside with pan cristal, a.k.a. “glass bread” - a thin, Spanish-style ciabatta with big air bubbles and a thin, crackly crust - that gets topped with a generous spread of boquerone aioli which provides just a hint of anchovy flavor. Then come the staples - whole-grain mustard, lettuce, tomato, red onion, guindilla pepper, and of course, Berkshire ham. The ham sandwich at Kalimotxo is wholly different from what you’re probably making at home and worthy of the journey downtown to meet its greatness.
The sandwich: Ham sandwich
Price: $16
Nicolai McCrary R&B’s Steak And Fries $$$$ 2730 E Caesar Chavez
R&B’s focuses on one type of sandwich, and one sandwich only - the cheesesteak. Small, focused menus tend to be some of our favorites, and R&B’s is no exception. Here, your options are the cheesesteak, or the cheesesteak hoagie (it comes with onions, tomatoes, and lettuce). Both sandwiches feature thinly-sliced Texas ribeye on an Amoroso roll with your choice of cheese whiz, provolone, or white American cheese - we’re on Team Whiz, by the way. They also sell loaded french fries - the perfect opportunity to forego all social graces and find yourselves knuckles-deep in a mountain of crinkle-cut potatoes, cheese, steak, and onions.
The sandwich: Cheesesteak
Price: $10
Raphael Brion Hold Out Brewing $ $ $ $ American , Bar Food in Clarksville $$$$ 1208 W 4th St
McDonald’s has the Filet-O-Fish, Burger King has the Big Fish, Whataburger has the Whatacatch, and Hold Out Brewing has the “Fish Sandwich.” It may be modestly named, but the sandwich packs an incredible punch, with breaded Texas drum, Cheddar Bay mayo, and a Cajun hot sauce chimichurri - all on sturdy, homemade Texas toast. It’s so good, perhaps they should name it The Fish Sandwich You’ll Like So Much That You’ll Talk About It To Anyone Who Will Listen? Pair it with curly fries and some of their excellent beers.
The sandwich: Fish Sandwich
Price: $13
Raphael Brion 101 by Tea Haus $ $ $ $ Japanese , Chinese , Korean , Vietnamese , Thai , Fusion in Highland $$$$ 6929 Airport Blvd #131
The Haus Chicken Sandwich 101 by Tea Haus is the type of sandwich that when you finish it, you wish you could have another, so you make a mental note to order two next time (no sharing). It features a very generously-sized, crispy Taiwanese basil fried chicken thigh with a tangy Asian slaw served on a sweet buttered bun. The sandwich has only been around since April 2020, but it’s found a permanent place in the chicken sandwich-sized part of our hearts (and in our regular lunch rotation).
The sandwich: Haus Chicken Sandwich
Price: $7
Raphael Brion DipDipDip Tatsu-Ya $ $ $ $ Japanese in North Austin , North Loop $$$$ 7301 Burnet Rd
DipDipDip Tatsu-Ya, from the Ramen Tatsu-ya team, pivoted into a takeout-only pop-up shop serving sandwiches designed to be dipped and dunked, brilliantly mashing up the French dip and shabu-shabu. All of them are great, but our favorite is definitely the beef sandwich, with thinly-sliced Texas Wagyu, wasabi ranch, and a sweet and spicy chow chow. For dipping they recommend the umami jus, made from beef stock, soy sauce, mirin, and sake. While we can’t speak about the likely very broad sandwich situation in the multiverse, this is a sandwich experience that up until recently did not exist in this known universe, and we are very glad it does.
The sandwich: Beef sandwich
Price: $12.75
Raphael Brion Huckleberry $ $ $ $ Seafood , Sandwiches , Cajun in North Burnet $$$$ 2340 W Braker Ln
Huckleberry highlights ingredients from local farms and the Gulf Coast, and most of the menu consists of dishes like seafood po’boys, sandwiches, and platters. On a recent visit, the standout sandwich was the fried green tomato po’boy, with the tomatoes perfectly crispy. It’s vegetarian, and if you think about it, this po’boy is technically like almost a salad - there are fried green tomatoes, lettuce, and red onion. Well, except that there are also pickles, a lemon-caper remoulade, and there’s the whole bun to contend with, so OK fine, it’s probably a sandwich. Either way, we’d definitely eat it again.
The sandwich: Fried Green Tomato Po’boy
Price: $14
Nicolai McCrary 20Pho7Austin $$$$ 601 W Live Oak St
At 20pho7, everything is about pho (and presumably, all the time). Hot bowls of Vietnamese noodle soup, pho tacos, and pho sandwiches make up the bulk of the menu. But what is a pho sandwich? Think thinly-sliced New York strip steak or brisket (or filet mignon for a few dollars more), onions, basil, cilantro, and mung bean sprouts in a French-style baguette with a side of savory pho broth. It’s kind of like a French dip (but a Vietnamese dip?). It’s a pinkies-out situation, but only because we don’t want you to burn your fingers on the steaming hot bowl of broth that your sandwich is practically jumping to bathe in. There’s also chicken, shiitake, and tofu available if you’re not feeling beef-inclined.
The sandwich: Beef dip
Price: $12
Raphael Brion Vic & Al’s $ $ $ $ Sandwiches , Cajun in Cherrywood , East Austin $$$$ 2406 Manor Road
The Cochon De Lait po’boy at Vic & Al’s - the Cajun brick and mortar restaurant from the people behind Italian food trailer Patrizi’s - is something to behold. It’s chunks and strands of caramelized pig that’s been slow-roasted for 18 hours in a pizza oven, topped with pickled red onion, herbs, and hot sauce. The sauce on the pork is so rich, it’s almost like a tonkotsu broth. And it’s so good that when we found some leftover sauce in the plastic takeout container, we ended up just drinking it.
The sandwich: Cochon De Lait Po’Boy
Price: $13
via The Infatuation Feed https://www.theinfatuation.com/austin/guides/best-new-sandwiches-austin Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://trello.com/userhuongsen
Created July 31, 2020 at 03:42AM
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View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF
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Read This Controversial Article And Find Out More About Weight Loss & Control
There are a couple of handy damage control diet strategies that you need to employ to best prevent yourself from overdoing it in the dinner table this winter holiday. Use the tips below to permit yourself to stay social also to manage to have pleasure in moderation without splitting your pants prior to the New Year:
1.) Perform High-Intensity Activity Before and/or After a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
I know, I know. I promised diet strategies, but I simply cannot go without recommending some activity. Your person is most receptive to higher calorie and/or carbohydrate meals within a half-hour before and within three hours following high-intensity activity. Ideally, you would want to workout out before AND after a large meal, but when you can only do one, that may suffice. It is less important once you get it done and more valuable which you do it. Your best options is going to be 20 minutes of circuit weight training or cardio interval training. Even a 20-30 plus minute walk a number of hours afterward can serve as a bit of damage control.
2.) Do NOT Fast in Preparation for a Big Meal or Holiday Feast
Fasting is preparation for a free meal doesn't only result in overeating, but worse: overeating foods that are extremely high in sugar, fat, or both! Your body is often a survival mechanism. If it hasn't had food in a while it anticipates a famine state. This means that the very next time that you just eat the body make use of quite as much of the incoming food as possible to keep as excess fat (survival energy) in anticipation that it certainly can't see food again for another any period of time. Do yourself and the body a favor by eating every 2-4 hours because you normally should prevent yourself from transforming into a ravenous, fat-storing beast this holidays!
3.) Do NOT Gorge Yourself
Eat prior to the point of satisfaction, not discomfort. Remember this: binge eating is just not the habit of lean individuals. It is important to know that those holiday your meals are not really a ticket you can eat up to it is possible to in as little time as possible. However, pay attention to your body and ensure to savor the meals you might be craving in moderation and only eat once you are hungry.
4.) Eat a High-Fiber, Protein-Rich Meal An Hour Before a Holiday Event
A meal loaded with fiber and protein before a huge holiday meal will help prevent overeating by causing you are feeling more full which experts claim means fewer calories consumed throughout the ensuing feast. My favorite strategy is always to drink a protein shake with the added fiber and healthy fats (e.g. 2-4 Tbsp. flax meal) and 1 liter of water before a real meal to keep me nice and full upon arrival. This way you won't lose any friends when you eat their dinner platter and you'll useful midsection coming from a fluffier existence!
5.) Eat Leans Proteins and Fruits and Vegetables FIRST
Just because it's actually a holiday meal does not mean you'll be able to't eat any nutritious food. Make sure to load up on healthier food choices first and try and eat the maximum amount of lean meat, fish, and fruits and veggies as possible on the start of each holiday event. This will leave less room for the unhealthier, higher-calorie treats. At least in this way you already know one's body becomes in a few good nutrition and you might be not putting yourself at excessive risk for sickness and/or other health concerns.
6.) Drink, Drink, Drink Water!
Water competes for space with your stomach and truly helps decrease appetite. For every plate, you eat, make an effort to drink a minimum of 1-2 servings of water. After that second plate, once you have 1 full liter of water in your stomach, I bet you might just throw in the towel!
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7.) Do NOT Eat Again Until Hungry Following a Large Meal
Now I know I already stated you can eat every 2-4 hours, but there is one exception to this. If you eat a huge meal, it's important not to consume again until you might be hungry and/or don't full. If your system isn't utilized to eating such a huge meal, that will need an extremely longer timeframe to digest all of that food as well as the worst thing it is possible to do is put more food into a currently full stomach, unless your goal is always to perform the stop, drop and roll drill. Only whenever you are hungry again should you resume your normal eating plan following a big holiday meal.
8.) Immediately Resume Your Normal Eating Schedule on the Next Meal
What's done is done. Now it really is time for it to get back to your normal diet program. Remember weekly calorie intake is far more important than daily calorie intake. For example, let's say that you just need 3,000 calories per day to keep up your present weight. Well, all that you have to do is ensure the average daily caloric intake each week is 3,000 calories every day. This means that you are able to fluctuate your day-to-day calorie consumption and yield exactly the same results just like you ate that same amount every day. So if you have 1 day of big eating where you eat 9,000 calories (just an illustration, not just a recommendation), but you only eat 2,000 calories daily the rest of the week, you will still find yourself at the same caloric balance. Again, I am not recommending that you simply eat such a considerable manner, rather I am suggesting that you simply do not need to obsess about being perfect. Enjoy some indulging without excess at the various holiday festivities knowing that the week in review trumps per day, even when you are particularly naughty on a day.
9.) Never Eat Junk Food for Breakfast or Before Bed
Eating a very refined carbohydrate meal initial thing in the morning is likely to make your blood sugar drink too much throughout the day leading to greater unhealthy food cravings and uncontrollable hunger. On the other hand, eating a huge meal when it is bedtime can lead to a bunch of unused energy which will be stored as excess fat so you adequately could have sleep problems wonderful that extra food volume in your stomach!
10.) Control your Portions
Try to nibble on only half all of the servings of unhealthy food that you simply choose. Half of the portions equal half the calories!
11.) Avoid Empty Liquid Calories and Alcohol
One can readily consume over 1,000 calories daily from liquid calories alone. This means that in a week, you will get 2 lbs of extra fat from just fluids! Opt for regular solid food calories versus empty liquid calories (e.g. juices and soda pops), for a minimum of the meal will fill you up and offer some nutrition whereas liquid calories, particularly alcohol, don't have any such effect. Rather, sugary and/or alcoholic drinks tend to make you hungrier in general and sometimes hungrier for unhealthy food especially. Furthermore, your body cannot burn fat prior to the alcohol is processed out of your system as well as the fact that consumption of alcohol lowers leptin levels thus defeating one of many purposes with this flexible eating (decreased leptin levels increase hunger and decreases the body's using fat for fuel). Thus over-consumption of alcohol can stop the fat burning process from resuming until a few days later and/or even cause weight gain and therefore cost you very little as being a few days to as long as being a full week!
12.) Use Lower Calorie/Carbohydrate Substitutes Whenever Possible
Instead of employing sugar, opt for zero-calorie alternatives like Splenda or stevia. They can deliver a similar taste without each of the extra sugar and calories. Even try replacing yeast with protein powder whenever you bake. The extra protein and reduced carbohydrates can lead to a slimmer you while still providing some very nice tasting treats! Your goal is always to find the minimal level of calories that will provide a similar great taste that produces the vacation treats enjoyable in lieu of simply overdoing it as you can!
13.) Avoid Eating Meals that are High in Both Fat and Carbohydrates
The absolute worst thing that it is possible to do is usually to have a meal which is high in both fat and carbs. The high volume of carbs will result in a rapid surge in blood sugar and so large increases inside the potent fat-storing hormone Insulin. The high volume of fat will lead to a large surge in free efas with your bloodstream. Since Insulin is contained in large amounts, together with there like a large amount of free efas now available with your blood, the stage is scheduled for those free fat to get gobbled up and stored from your fat cells. This will be the same in principle as becoming the next Goodyear blimp, so it really is important be cautious at the holiday meals with regards to combining fat (particularly saturated and trans fats) and carbs (particularly starches and refined sugars). In general, it can be best to make a choice on the other. But since most of the people crave carbs at their free meals, it's essential to keep the fat low at this meal. Want pasta? Instead of alfredo sauce, opt for the marinara sauce with whole grain pasta. Want pizza? Make your pizza with whole-grain crust and fat-free cheese. Want mashed potatoes? Well then be sure to skip the gravy and go easy for the butter. These small changes can save you hundreds, even 1000s of calories, plus more importantly will prevent your holiday feasts from creating the suitable fat-storing environment that will run you from achieving your quality of life and fitness goals.
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