I find it fascinating to witness the straight audience of any media not being able to pick up what the makers of the movie/show puts down.

It’s like when people reacted to the “You wear fine things well” scene in Our Flag Means Death with “aw, they’re such good friends” whereas the queer audience went “omg, this is happening”. We all had access to the same scene, we’d all watched the build up to that scene but the straight audience wrongly read it as friends/straight whereas the queer audience had suspected they were building up to a romance but this was the confirmation. Even the creator of the show was baffled that people were surprised that Ed and Stede fell in love. Because he thought they had made it obvious.

And as I said, we, the queer audience picked up on it. And I feel like the same thing is happening with Ted Lasso. Do I know that Ted and Trent will get together? No, I am unfortunately not a writer on Ted Lasso. But you can’t deny that there are clues pointing to it. But the straight audience barely pick up the fact that Ted and Trent like each other, be that in a platonic way or romantic way. I’ve seen several reactions to the last episode of season 2 and ONE of them included the scene where Ted reacts to Trent not being in the press room. All of them severely cut down the scene in the parking lot. One of the scenes most of us Ted/Trent truthers point to as a huge piece of evidence for it going canon. The parallel of them meeting in an empty parking lot, just like Ted and his ex-wife and Roy and Keeley. But because Ted and Trent are both men it couldn’t possibly mean anything. And Ted has an ex-wife and a kid so he can’t possibly be into men, as if there is no such thing as being bisexual. “But I’m pretty sure Trent has a family, he has a kid right?” So? He could be divorced, we also have no idea if his daughter has another dad or a mum. And the same thing applies to him, it doesn’t mean he can’t be into men (take also into account all of James Lance’s interviews, and his choice of shirt in one of them, friend of Dorothy anyone? He's the captain of this ship, we're just along for the ride tbh.)

Then we have the wonderful “I’m so not homophobic, in fact, you are homophobic because you think Ted is gay just because he likes musicals and has ‘feminine’ traits” um no… it’s the fact that he kind of acts in a way that an ally wouldn't. Yeah, he called himself an ally in that one episode. But every single person who is now out as queer who at one point considered themselves an ally because "I’m not one of them but I sure think they're neat" raise a hand 🖐️ (been there, done that. Was very into queer things before I realised I myself am one of them). What it always comes down to is "it's pandering", "it's tokenism" (having the main character on the show be queer wouldn't be fucking tokenism), "not everything has to be gay", "why can't men just be friends, there is a severe lack of male friendships on tv". And like the last one makes me go??? There are a MILLION friendships between men on TV. There are even multiple friendships between men in Ted Lasso. Beard and Ted, Ted and Higgins, Ted and Roy, the himbos and so on. Having Ted and Trent become a couple wouldn't really change anything because there are still friendships between men. They also claim that Ted is needed as the "straight without toxic masculinity" representation. As if Beard isn't right there. The man who has no problem going to an immersive show about the menstrual cycle. Has no problem with shrieking when he's surprised and so on.

I also like that if we'd get Ted and Trent together, we'd get two middle aged queer dads. Which isn't that common. It's not even super common to see people realising they're queer late in life on TV, and yet it happens every day. Because let's face it, most queer men on TV kind of look like Colin, and I don't mean that as a bad thing. And I'm looking forward to his storyline. But it's also nice seeing middle aged or old people finding themselves and being allowed to be who they are (see Ed and Stede from OFMD). Also would enjoy seeing people lose their minds when they realise they've been fooled this entire time. It'll be like Black Sails all over again.

I do not have any doubts about the fact that, had Trent or Ted been a woman and they saw Trent give up his career because of Ted's influence, they sure as hell wouldn't protest people thinking they'd become a couple. But because it's two men it's just delusional for some reason (homophobia).

What I'm saying is, it's clear that the straight audience has a hard time picking up subtext and clues that the makers are planting. Because they've never had to do that. Because they are always clearly represented. They don't have to look for minor side characters and hope that they might be queer. Because the main character is straight and most of the supporting cast too. When you've grown up with a lack of representation or with representation that is meant to be subtext, you'll learn to pick up on it. And you do look at media differently. I just wish that the straight audience could listen to us for once, without getting defensive and dancing around the fact that they are uncomfortable relating to a character that turned out to be queer.

As an aro, the aromantic community needs to have a serious talk about the "Why can't two people just be friends?"

I agree with this statement a lot but sometimes I see it being used when referring to the fandom shipping two people of the same gender and uuuuh...that's where the problem is.

Friendship is an under represented part of fandom but like some of you all say this like there isn't a BIG CULTURAL reason WHY fandom ships two dudes or two women that are friends in canon. LGBT+ community has been and still is underrepresented in media. The two guy characters will have more chemistry with eachother than the love interest because cishets see a woman and a man and believe that's enough of a reason for them to be together, no build up needed. This is a common issue that queer shippers know to be heteronormativity at it's finest. The only way the LGBT+ community could find solace in these shitty canonical pairing decisions, is within fanfiction (and fanart but I will stick to saying fanfiction cause you'll get the point) where the show,book, movie, comic,play could be as queer as they wanted it because mainstream media wouldn't dare to do it themselves. I know people love to bring up cishet women being a big part of fanfiction culture but the lgbt+ community and fanfiction have deep ties. Yes, amatonormativity is an issue in fanfiction spaces, aphobia is prominant in the LGBT+ community, especially arophobia. But not every shipper has bad intentions when they write lovey dovey fanfiction of their otp. We aren't the only oppressed community. Recently there has been small growth in lgbt+ rep but queerbaiting still happens and I can name recent books with strictly cishet casts. I don't say this to start a "Who's more oppressed olympics but a reminder to look outside your bubbles and be mindful of what you say. Not every step forward will directly affect us but that doesn't mean we shouldn't respect or celebrate when our LGBT+ siblings are represented in entertainment.

Ok, you'll are probably still wondering why saying "Why can't two characters just be friends." Is an issue. Everything I said above comes back to why this statement can be harmful. Emphasis on can. I'll touch on that later, but the how is because this has been used by homphobes to defend why queer ships don't need to become canon. Using "friendship matters!" as a weapon for bigotry. Friendship does matter and we love to see a healthy friendship. The problem is, homophobes say this... A lot. If they genuinely cared, they would say this when a man and a woman kiss but they don't. I'd love to see a man and a woman be friends because I see that less than people of the same gender being friends. We do see Men being friends, and sometimes women being friends.(Media needs to work on the women hating eachother but this post isn't about misogyny. Hooo boy, that's a can of worms I'm not opening, people breka down these problems all the time and I have nothing to add to it) It's not like other queer people hate friendships being seen but saying "Why can't two men be friends" is not helpful to the lack of rep across all communities.

But this statement isn't always said to keep the homophobic agenda alive. Aro community has good intentions but for all that is good- PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT WHEN IT COMES TO QUEER SHIPS. Sure, say this to all the canon straight couples in media but be more mindful about other queer struggles. I am so sick of seeing that statement being thrown around, as if certain comments don't have bad connotations attached to it too.

Ok I'm done. Feel free to discuss or add to this but be civil. Arophobes/Aphobes/ exclusionist/TERFS dni.

Me bringing up issues within the Aro community does not mean you're bigotry will be tolerated. Comparing the oppression of aro's to the rest of the LGBT+ community as gotcha points to attack aro people counts too.

Ok, thanks for reading.