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chantelle-x0x · 6 years

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Because I Had You (3/3) - Steve Rogers x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: It’s finally here! The angstiest part of them all! Thank you so so much @flatbottomholland for letting me get involved in your writing challenge! I had so much fun writing all three parts, this part especially! The lyrics from the song ‘Because I Had You’ were changed a little because reader is female so it just made a little more sense for this fic. Check that song out!

Permanent tag list: @glorious-fandoms, @rousetta, @fuckyourgondola Steve Rogers tag list: @alepowell, @kaitlynw011 Series tag list: @i-just-wanna-live-gc

Disclaimer: **All characters besides Reader, belongs to Marvel (MCU)**

Word count: 1,422

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter

MCU Characters: Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter, Bucky Barnes (mentioned)

Rating: General

Warnings: Sexual intentions at the end. Nothing descriptive though. Just a mention. Still very clean fic though :) Angst!

Summery: You decide to confront Steve about the distance, but that may have been the wrong move.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You went to bed that night with a really hurt feeling. Steve moved on, well technically you were never together so it wasn’t as if he really had moved on, it just really hurt you. You were in bed and thinking about the biggest regret you held; getting Steve to leave. Getting Steve to pursue his dream. It was such a selfish regret, but you wanted him and only him. You thought you knew what you wanted for Steve, for him to be happy because that’s what made you happy, and now he was happy however, it wasn’t making you happy. He was being distant and it hurt so much. Almost like he took out your heart and ripped it apart with his new found super strength.

Peggy Carter was a fabulous woman. Apparently people knew who she was. She was a strong and independent person. She was driven and smart, so intelligent is was beyond your belief. Above all else though, the thoughts that spun in your head formed round the fact that she was everything you weren’t. Tall, amazing posture, hair that had not one strand out of place. She was just all out stunning. She didn’t even have to try. Steve saw it all too, that’s why he was in love with her. It was clear he was happy with her around and maybe he just didn’t need you there anymore.

You finally managed to find sleep even with all the racing thoughts in your head. You got out of the house earlier than you usually do, but it was to see Steve off. To move on, you needed to say goodbye. It wasn’t only a physical goodbye that you needed, but an emotional one. You needed to say goodbye to all the pent up emotions and feelings. Things he should never know about. Moving on meant taking risks, which wasn’t your forte but it was worth it if it meant giving Steve the life he deserved.

You arrived at the station since you heard that they’d be taking a train to the next stop, thanking your lucky stars, Steve was there, alone. ‘Hey.’ You said cooly. Steve smiled at you and walked over to meet you in the middle.

‘What are you doing here?’ He asked wrapping you in a hug. If only he knew what that hug meant for you.

You pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes, you were cursing the tears that had already started to form. ‘I came to say goodbye.’ The crack in your voice didn’t go unnoticed by Steve. You pulled you by the arm to sit on the seat next to him in the station.

‘Y/N, you know this isn’t goodbye right? I’ll be back and so will Buck.’ He smiled at the thought. Your heart swelled at the thought of it being like old times. ‘Maybe Peggy can join us. Of course only if she wanted to.’ And your heart cracked.

‘Yeah, of course. I must ask, does Bucky even ask about me?’ You wanted to change that subject to anything else.

‘Yeah! I mean, not lately since we stopped the whole sending letters thing, but when we were doing it, every time I got one he asked how you were doing without us.’ You both chuckled. Bucky may have been Steve’s best friend, but you’d be damned if he didn’t care just as much about you. This is how it was before Peggy. You could talk without hesitation, and it just rolled. Words rolled from your tongue and it was just easy. Unfortunately, just as things turned slightly normal, the woman herself came out onto the platform.

‘The train is delayed. We’ll be here for at least another hour.’ She said with a slight annoyance to her tone.

‘Do they know why?’ Steve asked standing up to be next to her.

‘Repairs.’ She huffed. ‘I’m going to see if I can find another station close by that has a different train running. Can’t have Captain America late to a show.’ She teased with a smirk before leaving.

‘Steve?’ You spoke softly and he turned around with a blush to his cheeks. You really needed to get this out. ‘We need to talk.’ Your tone never went louder, it stayed levelled and quiet. Steve sat next to you and you breathed out a shaky breath. ‘I, I um, I have no idea how to start.’ You laughed a breathy laugh.

‘You can me anything doll.’ He said it with such a beauty to his voice. He was so sincere. This was so much harder than you anticipated.

‘Since you’ve met Peggy, things have changed between us. You’re more distant and I don’t know, I guess it hurts.’ Steve’s eyes never left yours, but the glint he had did fade.

‘What are you saying Y/N?’ Steve asked a little taken back.

‘I’m just saying that maybe you being around Peggy has changed you.’ You suggest, but Steve wasn’t having it. He stood up as fast as a snap of your fingers.

‘Seriously Y/N? I’m finally happy, and you can’t bear to see that?’ He scoffed and continued before you could say anything. ‘That is such a selfish thing to say.’ He snapped.

‘I’m happy for you Steve, but is it such a bad thing that I don’t want things to change?’ Tears began to blur your vision.

‘Not bad, just selfish.’ He shook his head then his eyes locked to yours once more. ‘I think this is where the ‘goodbye’ happens.’ His voice was warm, but it now had a saddened and cold undertone. You nod before picking up your bag.

‘Goodbye Steve.’ You walked away before he could say anything. He was mad and hurt. After having about 20 minutes of time to calm down, you realised that the way you said goodbye wasn’t how you wanted to leave Steve. You raced back to the station and asked the man there when the train left. He said that it was now boarding so you ran to the platform. The train was gone though. So was Steve. There was one thing left though. Sitting on the bench was the locket. Your heart stung deeply and tears flowed freely down your flushed cheeks. After what seemed forever, you left.

You went to the bar, you sat and ordered a heavy drink, and let a guy sit next to you. By this point, all your morals were washed away. He flirted with you but you didn’t tell him to back off. You ended the night leaving the place with this man in tow. It wasn’t your nature, and he wasn’t the man you ever thought you'd do something intimate with. He was not Steven Grant Rogers. But maybe that was a good thing. You’d just never be able to love anyone, so was there a point in even seeking love anymore? You did do one thing right that night though, you left the locket in the bar. It was important but had too many memories. Steve didn’t want you in any shape or form. Not only did you lose the person you loved that day, but also a much needed friend.

~~~~~

Bonus - Steve POV (Earlier/after fight) He regretted everything. It had been about 15 minutes and the train had reached the platform. Steve sat in a seat, slouched posture and his head was held in his hands. In his anger, Steve put the locket, the only piece left of you on the bench so he could completely leave you behind. He was furious at your accusations, but now sitting here, he realised that maybe you were right, maybe he was letting you go. But he didn’t want that ever. You were so much to him. Peggy sat next to him, keeping a professional distance. Steve was about to stand up and get that locket, but the train started moving. He cursed himself for even acting on his anger.

‘She’ll be here when you get back Steve.’ Peggy smiled softly. You weren’t who Steve wanted, Peggy was. You were just, a very important person in his life. You never dared turn your back on him, in fact, you were there for him in his hardest times, but he decided to turn his back on you when life got hard.

~~~~~

No one would make either of your lives like they were before and you both had the same last thought about each other, “Because I had you.”

~~~~~

If you’d like to be part of my permanent Marvel tag list or an individual character tag list, let me know!

Constructive criticism and general feedback would be awesome as well! Thanks for reading x

Masterlist

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve x reader #steve x you #rosaliewritingchallenge #flatbottomhollandchallenge #steve rogers x peggy carter #steve rogers x peggy #captain america #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers imagines #captain america imagines #captain america imagine #marvel imagine #marvel universe #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers angst

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