Who's the idiot who spread that myth milk is pus? Turns out it spread so badly even my vegan (not brain damaged) roommate believes there's noticeable pus in cow's milk.

Lmao i think its so funny when TERFS think that any agreement with a terf on anything, especially feminism, makes someone a terf who is 'blinded by trans ideology' and needs to be freed. Some of the shit I see on 'honorary terf posts' and stuff, it's really grasping at straws.

Like, seriously.

Me and ecofascists both care about the environment.

Me and radical racist vegans both think animals deserve better treatment.

Hell, me and GOP conservatives probably both think that the government having complete control over the people is a Bad Idea.

Agreeing with people on some things is not a 'gotcha' its literally being a human being with rational opinions. ANyone with critical thinking skills is going to coincide with those they despise on some points.

I have no problem going through life knowing me and some terf on the internet agree about women being able to have body hair without scrutiny, or the fact makeup is overnormalized for women, or that gender has caused a great deal of harm as a concept in society, or EVEN the fact that vaginas on women are cool, although unlike them I don't think they belong on women exclusively.

Where we DISAGREE is the whole part where terfs think trans people are a danger to women, to feminism, to 'the kids' and society at large, and don't deserve basic human respect.

Y'know. The actually important part.

If anyone out there is dangling on the precipice of TERF indoctrination because they're being fed the idea that caring about women's issues, or gynocological health issues, which are still a thing and CAN be a thing while also being inclusive, are somehow the exclusive property of bigots, let me coax you down from that ledge.

You can have nuanced opinions, but as long as you believe trans people deserve the same rights as cis people; the right to safety, privacy, dignity, and respect, you will NEVER be a terf. You're not "gender critical" or a "radfem" its all a packaged deal with commandeered language, and if you're even in for a penny, they will take that pound out of your flesh. On the basis of thought I actually stated alone, a basis of belief that doesn't even require LIKING trans or queer culture, or even understanding it, JUST THAT baseline respect, that actually means that to them you are in fact what they would consider a 'trans rights activist'. Something they spurn and scorn. Crazy right? Trust me. I'm a cis fem if that gives me any credit with a partially indoctrinated person: As long as you're picking the side of human dignity, you ain't a TERF. Scrape that grooming, warped, frustrated human old gum off your shoe and keep on truckin' like the badass feminist and egalitarian you are. Being frustrated or confused by identities you might find obnoxious or hard to understand is normal. That's what being part of a community is like. People will have perspectives that confuse you or maybe even make you feel threatened. Wanting them to stop existing, being convinced their real lives are a hoax, an illness, or cult that's killing the kids? That is fearmongering beholden to the fascist idea of "everyone has to be like me to make me safe" that is as old as the first neanderthal.

El hoyo (2019)

"The message needs no carrier" (spoiler: it actually does)

"There are 3 kinds of people; the ones above, the ones below, and the ones who fall. "

I've just watched this small masterpieces and here's my own interpretation.

Obviously the whole movie is a big metaphor. Both an analogy about our society and one about the Afterlife are present.

First of all, in my view, the place they're kept into is like a Purgatory between heaven and hell. The protagonist entered there voluntary because after the six months trial he would have expiated his sins and would finally be ready to enter Heaven. The old man is an accidental killer, therefore he doesn't deserve Hell, but definitely can't go into Heaven either, and his punishment is longer than Goreng's because he did in fact end a life.

Also Goreng is referenced multiples times as the Messiah, and his travel towards this purge tower is quite similar to Dante's one.

Each prisoner wakes up the first day of the month in a different position, which represents our birth. Some are born in better environments, families and countries and all of it is just luck, fate.

Then, since everyone knows that each of higher floors will likely take advantage of their position, our selfishness takes the best of us.

The higher floors know that the lower ones will literally eat their leftovers, while the ones under know that they better take as much as they can, otherwise they won't be able to survive. There's no altruism or generosity in the society.

You're placed high, you sh*t on who's below. You're below, you dream to reach above.

Each of the characters represents something.

The first roommate, the old man, is someone who's very aware of their surrounding, who's tired of fighting and knows very well how the world works because he's been in a better as much as a worse situation.

The lady coming from the Administration is a middle class representative, trying to change the world but also completely unaware of what's happening right under her nose.

The fact that she keeps on saying that a baby cannot be there and there are 200 floors is just further proof that we blindly lie to ourselves that things can't be that bad, that the world isn't that evil and the rules are respect, being delusional of course, to help us sleep at night. That's why when she hits lower than what she was told was possible, she killed herself.

She's also a vegetarian, with a big love for animals. She obviously represents both an activist that is trying to tell others that they shouldn't eat more than they need, because that means that who's lower won't have anything left, which is such a big innuendo to climate change, but at the same time she's also a privileged person who's never been lower than a certain point and thinks that anyone can easily "just eat less" without caring about other's issues (it reminded me of some vegans who cannot accept that veganism is not accessible or sustainable for the majority of the would population)

The last roommate, the one with the rope represents a religious person, who endures the hardship without giving up because of his faith.

Another pragmatic sequence in my opinion was the one where the two, while descending the tower, met an ill man with a companion with the Down Syndrome (I'm sorry if I'm sounding insensitive is just that I don't know how else to better describe the scene to make it recognizable to you) who said that he will proceed to suffocate his cellmate to also eat what went into his stomach even while being no more hungry himself, I mean, can you better descrive greed than this sentence?

Now, coming to the final scene, which left many of the viewers disappoint or confused, here's my idea.

The deranged girl who claims to have a daughter is definitely crazy, but not completely gone. I do believe there is a baby there, and the Administration is probability unaware of that because there's someone higher than them, and they're being lied to, also. But I don't think the protagonist actually saw the little girl.

I think that he reached such a place of histeria that he convinced himself that the baby was alive, hallucinating, to have a last strand of hope as he was dying. Notice how the baby is perfectly clean and well nourished, that would be impossible. The little girl is long gone and dead God knows in which floor but he convinced himself that he saw her as a way of also hoping that some kind of humanity is still left, that they wouldn't kill and eat an innocent and innocuous creature. But that's not the case.

Notice how he reaches the 333th floor and then walks like he doesn't even have a scar. Now multiply that number for each room residents, which are two. He's dead and has now reached Hell. There he finds his first roommate who's also in Hell since they both damned themselves letting their selfishness take over. The lady is obviously absent, since she never hurt a thing or specifically ate someone's flesh.

The baby was all part of his imagination and she doesn't reach the 0 level, simply because she was never there in the first place.

The girl could have been the message if she reached the top, since it would have proven how flawed the system is, but she never will. Some people claimed that it is not possible to reach the top because of how fast the platform goes, that it will just crash on the ceiling. I do not agree. There's no point in letting the platform crash each time so it will probably slow down enough to reach level 0, in facts we don't even know how tall level 1 is.

Someone also claimed that it's impossible that no one else ever reached the top through this method, which means to go all the way down to then come back up. First of all, it could have happened and that person could have been sent back down, but what I find most reasonable is that no one knows how deep the hole is, probably up to hell, and no one is brave enough to do it because no matter how bad your situation is, you're still afraid of having it worse. It's a suicidal mission which led to crazyness and then death even our brave characters.

Another reference I've loved is when it's mentioned that usually the poorest kill each other's to survive, while the richest have the highest rate of suicide. Why is that? Easy, they have nothing to endure, to live for, they have everything, they're not longing for the hope of food plus there's frightening in knowing that the next month it can only worsen.

So now the question remains: What is the ending then if the baby doesn't reach the top? The finale guys was right in front of our eyes, around the middle of the movie. Remember when the chef complains to other cooks about the hair in the pannacotta? That's the real ending: the pannacotta reaches the top (further proof that the platform won't crash) as the message but instead of being interpreted as a statement of insurrection, the level 0 workers believe it was sent back because there was a hair in there. This is the ultimate slap in the face, the final proof that those people are so out of touch, so blind towards what's happening downstairs that they think that was the issue, the hair in the pannacotta, without realizing that people are literally eating each others down there.

So, there was actually a satisfying finale which gave us answers, it's just that the finale was not at the end as usual.

so about Jeremy's weight thing...obviously Jeremy isn't at fault for my insecurities or whatever, but him putting his weight in his stream title or something like that is kinda fucked to me? I know most people are agreeing that it's kind of a bad/not great thing to do, but it's just...yucky imo. like ive struggled with my weight basically my whole life and knowing that jeremy is about my height (a little shorter) and weighs like...way less isn't a great feeling. I know "he isn't responsible for your triggers" but it still feels bad, y'know? And the faturday comment was poor taste. I just don't want everyone to think that "fat" means you're instantly not healthy. Sure, being super overweight can cause health issues, but just because someone is overweight doesn't mean they're unhealthy? I just hate that ideology. And everyone caries their weight differently. Like I have friends who weigh 20 pounds more than me (technically overweight for their height) and look skinnier than me. I hope I don't sound like a dick or crazy or anything about all this. I just feel yucky finding out about all of this (sorry I'm late to this party). Anyway, I'm glad Jeremy is happy, but I do hate the way he's going about his weightloss

I feel like there’s a line content creators need to be aware of. I think when it’s something like his weight in the title and people are telling him it triggers them he should take it into consideration. Idk like I have a friend who is vegan and they requested I hide all meat posts from them specifically and I just? Do it? Like I don’t want to trigger anyone ever. I’m not saying Jeremy is a bad person or anything of course I just wish he would take his viewers into consideration. And 100% agree that he kind of perpetuates the idea that fat = unhealthy and that’s just not true? It would also be so easy to just call it a cheat day but we can’t control what language he uses. I wish someone would take a second to educate him on those things bc I feel like if he realized how much these things affect others he would care about that? Like he seems like a good person (sorry I use seems for all content creators now I don’t know them I’m just going off of what they show us)

Personally from the research and dieticians I have looked into, fasting just seems like an awful way to lose weight? Like yeah it works but you’re so much more likely to gain weight once you go back to normal eating. Like there isn’t a healthy relationship with food being created there? Also the way he talks about calories and shit is so triggering. Like I have to constantly remind myself that calories are what give us energy and they’re not evil. Like I’ve done so much research and like regular working out and healthy eating is the way to go and doesn’t promote the idea that skinny = healthy.

Once again all of that is my own research and everyone goes about things differently. I just do wish he would take into consideration how triggering certain things can be. I feel like it would be so easy to just have the command in the title and get rid of the number in the title. For everyone who watches: if he starts talking about his fasting and things like that if you ask chat to @ you when he’s done talking about it they will! Just mute and keep an eye on chat the highlighted @

Coffee burns

Prompt(s): lmao this had prompts but i forgot about them and this fic went in another direction it turned into i love the gang lets write them

G/T mean girls

The co-sized mall- which wasn't very co-sized- was one of my least favorite places to be.  Each individual store had tiny areas with a small cashier and tiny workers and shit, but the mall itself had no form of tiny transportation or tiny recreation areas, like food courts or those random couches you just find to take a break. 

Northshore, like its high school, did not have many tinies. I could name everyone and their moms who live in the tiny neighborhood. 

It's no secret that I hate being in primarily giant places. I mean, I feel like I'd hate high school anyway, but anywhere other than Damian's house just makes me all around nervous.

Now put me in a crowded mall?

Yeah, I'll pass.

Except I didn't. 

Regina had somehow convinced the whole group that a trip to the mall would be fun. I didn't believe her, but the whole group was going so why not. 

We were currently at the food court. Regina was on Gretchen's shoulder eating a fry she stole from Karen. Probably the funniest visual of Regina I have to date. She broke off part of fry yet it was still half the size of her. 

Aaron was in his own conversation with Cady who had her elbows propped up on the table and was holding Aaron in her hands. 

Food court tables are nasty. You won't catch me (or any tiny with common sense) sitting on them. 

I was on Damian's shoulder only partly paying attention to his conversation with Karen. Too busy making faces at Regina to contribute to whatever was going on. 

Yeah, sometimes I can see why Aaron calls us 'literally children'. But hey, we aren't hurting anyone. 

"You sure you don't want food, Janis?" Damian asks. 

I look away from Regina. "Yeah, I'm not hungry."

Like every time I get nervous, the pit in my stomach prevents any appetite. I don't know why I was nervous. I think just being around so many people puts me in a constant state of anxiety, whether they're giants or not. 

"Jesus, Regina!" I watch as she finishes the fucking french fry.

"We don't talk about it." She says. "I already regret that decision."

I lean closer to Damain's neck with a smile. It's nice to have a group where, no matter where we hang out or at what time, it's always fun. 

"Guys," Aaron speaks up, grabbing all out attention. "Who's right. Me or Cady. We're sayin-"

"Cady." Damian and I say in unison.

"You don't even know what we're talking about yet!" 

"Yeah, but it's Cady." Regina says.

Aaron huffs. "Crazy."

Cady gives a good-natured chuckle and brings Aaron to sit on his shoulder. "Everyone done eating?"

There a chorus of yeahs from around the table. 

"Can we stop at forever 21?" Gretchen asks. "I know its not a store for all of us but there's a shirt I wanna get while it's still on sale but Regina needs to see it first."

Damian shrugs lightly but it's enough to make me tip a bit. I ignore Regina laughing at me.

"Doesn't matter to me." Karen says.

Cady waves her hand. "I don't mind."

"Cady's my ride. I gotta go where she goes." Aaron says.

I shrug. "Sure."

There aren't many tinies in high school, but they're also is a smaller group of giants. All people of all ages go to the mall, and most tinies avoided it like the plague. So the ratio of tinies to giants is even greater here. 

In high school, you only get in trouble for fucking with tinies when you're caught. In the mall, you only get in trouble for shoplifting or doing coke in the back of the JC Pennies while on a lunch break from your job at Spencer's.

True story.

The kid moved on to be a teacher in the next town over. He's got kids now.

The point I'm trying to get to is, even if the mall did accommodate more for tinies, I don't think we'd start going. It's dangerous. 

Damian wasn't wearing his jacket and I had nowhere to hide. I think that stressed me more than anything. 

Whatever it's fine.

Damian was wearing a sweatshirt. I was sitting pushed against his neck with the hood pulled over my legs for warmth. Its tits cold in the middle of December and the mall is fucking air-conditioned. Why? Who knows. Not me.

We walk past a trio of women I can only describe as "karens". Not our Karen. The shoulder haircut, let me speak to your manager type vibe. The gross karens. 

One of them eyes me and I can't help but pull Damian's hoodie further over me, the knot in my stomach is back.

"Young man?" She asks as Damian walks past.

For fucks sakes.

Damian turns to her, and I don't even need to look at his face to know he's unamused. We both kinda know what's coming.

"Are you aware of the tiny on your shoulder?"

"Yes. I am." He states flatly.

"Is it bothering you?"

It? Well, that's better than space dyke I guess.

"No, she's my friend." Damian states. "Why, is there an issue here?"

The rest of our friends have walked away without noticing Damian got stopped.

"How can you stand with tinies?" One of the ladies speaks up.

Wow. Rude.

I leaned against Damian's neck more, pulling the hoodie over me fully like a blanket. I wasn't offended, just bored. These ladies can go on for hours about how 'tinies don't deserve rights'. 

"How can you stand against them?" Damian retaliates. He begins walking away, ignoring the offended gawks he received.

I laugh a little, looking over his shoulder.

"You showed them." I cheer weakly.

"Sure did." Damian nods catching up to the group. They were still at the entrance to forever 21.

"Where did you guys go?" Cady asked. "We turn around and you're just gone!"

"Got stopped by annoying old ladies," Damian says with a dramatic eye roll.

"Don't fuck with Damian and his tiny!" I point to myself with a grin. "They called me an it."

"That's original." Aaron remarks. 

I watch as a soft smile passes Damian's face at the 'his tiny'. After we had the dreadful emotion talk, he was a lot more open to the idea that his tiny her tiny was not as self belittling as it seemed. When it came from a tiny of course.

"If I was their size, I could and would punch them." Regina said from Gretchen's shoulder.

"I dunno man, some of them were pretty short. I think you could." Damian smiled.

"Hell yeah!" I cheer.

"Well, now that mom friend and reckless are here, let's go see that shirt, Gretch." Regina says motioning further into the store.

Everyone follows Gretchen into the store. Even though we're only here for Gretchen a shirt caught Regina's eye that 'Cady would look so fucking hot in'. 

I'm still tucked carefully under Damian's hood, watching as Regina makes Gretchen and Cady try on the two shirts. Cady walks over to Damian holding out Aaron. "Can you?"

Damian grins. "Yeah, shoulder next to Janis?" He asks Aaron as Cady hands him off.

"I won't shove you like Regina!" I throw jazz hands and both boys laugh.

"Sure, shoulder."

Because I'm curled up so close to Damian's neck, Aaron can sit in the center without it feeling too crowded. We watch as Cady walks out first in a shirt.

Its pink, obviously, and loose. The pale pink brought out the constant rosey shades in Cady's cheeks. It shows some mid-drift and- Jesus christ I'm gay.

"Cute!" Damian says. I pull the hoodie up in a vain attempt to hide how hard I was blushing, 

Cady went back in to change as Gretchen came out. She was wearing a shirt. It was whatever.

As the two girls got up to pay I could feel the stressed feeling fade. I pushed Damian's hoodie off me a bit. Even as a barely co-sized mall, the fun nature of the group didn't leave. It was nice.

Cady walks over to retrieve Aaron. "What'd you think of the shirt, Janis?" She asks, scooping up Aaron wordlessly. 

"It- it was pretty," I say, trying to will my face from getting hot. "It looked cute on you. Nice color."

Damian chuckles and I elbow his neck slightly. 

Cady grins. "Thanks, Janis!"

"No problem." My face is red again.

It's so red she can tell oh god why am I like this why-

Cady gives one last smile before walking away to catch up with Gretchen and Karen. Damian does too but he stays a bit behind to talk with me.

"Smooth one, Janis."

"I didn't lie. It looks fucking good on her."

"And I'm the too gay to function one."

"I was functioning! Just poorly."

"Sure." Damian teases. 

I huff crossing my arms as a hand scoops me up.

"You know I love you." Damian says holding me to his chest as he weaves through a crowd. There's a lot of shoulder bumping and I'm glad to be here instead of up there. Or more likely on the floor. "What's going on?" He asks catching up to the group.

Gretchen shrugs, Regina in her hands. Both tinies seemed to be in a similar relocated-for-safety- position.

"The crowd came out of nowhere," Karen explained. 

It didn't seem like anyone was standing waiting for something, more like we just his a bit of traffic where too many people are all walking in different directions. 

We pull over and sit down on one of those charging phone stations with a couple of couches and a table. We're gonna wait for the crowd to pass.

Damian sets me gently on the table in front of the sofa and sits down. 

Aaron joins me on the table but Regina stays on Gretchen's shoulder with a huff after being told she isn't allowed to push me off.

We sit and talk for a while, waiting for the crowd to clear out when I see the old ladies from before approaching the area.

Great.

They were sporting coffee from the shitty vegan cafe next to the Starbucks. Pretty sure old cranky Karens are the only thing keeping the store open.

The way the seating area was laid out had two couches with a coffee table in the center. 

The 'karens' sat on the other sofa. While I didn't feel great about having my backs to them, I could see Damian and Cady both eyeing them nervously. 

"Um," A cranky and high pitched voice speaks up from behind me. "Maybe you shouldn't put your dirty tinies on the table."

And this is where possession became an issue.

"We don't own them," Damian said dully. 

Hell yeah, baby.

"They're also cleaner than most things on that table, including the table," Cady says, but both her and Damian lean forward in their seats a little anyway.

"Then where am I supposed to put my coffee?" Another voice whines.

"It's a big table, Miss," Damian says. "They don't take up much room."

"You're mother did a poor job in raising you, young man." One of the ladies speak.

You insult Sherry Hubbard one more time and I'll stab you with one of those plastic coffee mixers. As much as I wanna vocalize my opinion and get violent, I figure its best I left this one to Damian.

"My mother taught me the value of living beings. Tiny or not." Damian says calmly, but I can tell he's as pissed as I am.

There's shuffling behind me and a huge cup of coffee gets slammed down next to me.

I'm sorry, what?

Out of the huge fucking table, you chose half an inch away from me.

It's not even the worst part.

Scalding hot coffee splashes over the edge a bit, landing on my arm and steeping through my jacket.

I shake my arm, jumping back with a yell. 

"Janis!" Fear flashes in Damian's eyes as he reaches over and scoops me off the table. "What was that for?" He asked one of the ladies who looked very smug with themselves.

"All I did was place my coffee on the coffee table."

I bit my lip, slipping off my jacket despite all my inner protest to never take it off. The coffee drenched my entire sleeve and left it burning hot. My arm underneath the coat was red and splotchy. 

Aaron, who had been transported to Cady's shoulder the second this got violent, looked down at me and gasped.

It didn't hurt too bad, it just looked bad. It felt like sunburn, not blistering burns.

Damian looks down at me and I can see the fear in his eyes turn to anger.

"Do you even care that you hurt her?" 

The lady shrugged. "Not particularly, no."

"Yet if somebody spilt boiling hot coffee on a dog, you'd flip shit I assume." Cady said. There was an edge to her voice. Cady never cursed. She's gotta be pissed. 

"Somebody spilt coffee on a dog?" Our Karen asked with extreme worry.

"No. Somebody spilt boiling coffee on Janis." Gretchen explains.

"Janis, that's awful!" Karen throws a sympathetic look at me.

I give her a thumbs up knowing she can't hear me.

It hurts to move my arm. I poke it. The skin stays white in contrast to the red around it momentarily. Just like sunburn. 

It'll be worse tomorrow, for sure.

I tune back into the conversation after doing a quick harm check.

I don't think I've ever seen Cady chew somebody out so hard. It isn't long before the trio mysteriously has somewhere to be.

The walk away and Cady leans back into the sofa. "One thing I don't miss about Africa? Entitled Karens."

"They disrespect my name." Karen agreed. 

"You okay, Jan?" Damian asked, holding me up to eye level with him. 

His hands were laid pretty flat like he was scared if he touched me he'd hurt me.

"I'm fine," I say. "For now."

While I may hate high school, I do miss Regina being in charge. Since the whole gang kinda got more open about our friendship with eating lunch altogether or walking the halls with each other, people stopped bothering Damian and I. 

Regina George's friends are off-limits.

But the mall isn't high school. 

I lay backways in Damian's hands, looking at the ceiling.

"I remember why I don't come here often," I mumble.

Damian laughs, but the stress on his face doesn't ease.

"We should start heading home," Gretchen says. "It was a nice day, lets ditch before more shit goes wrong. You know our luck."

"Yeah," Cady laughs. "No kidding."

"The bad stuff always happens to me!" I groan.

I watch as Cady silently slips Aaron into the chest pocket on her flannel.

He fell asleep.

Lucky bitch.

"I want to take a nap." I say, turning on my side. The coffee burned arm is in the air.

"Sucks that Damian doesn't have his jacket." Regina teased as everyone gets up.

Damian grins. "Still have pockets though."

Damian shifts me onto one hand as he gets up, lowing me to his hoodie pocket.

I typically only go here post-panic attack or something, when I need to hide way but don't want to get claustrophobic with something as snug as the chest pocket. 

Still, I'm not complaining.

Damian's hand stays in the pocket, cupped gently around me. I lean further into his hand, without my jacket on I feel cold as fuck. His hands, as always, are warm and soft. 

His fingers curl around me protectively and I can't help but laugh softly. 

Leave to Damian to worry about me over even the little things.

Hot coffee is by far not the worst injury I’ve gotten over my years. But I could trip and fall on a flat surface or fall from someone's shoulders and Damian would get equally stressed about both of them.

I smelt like burnt black coffee but it was overpowered by the familiar comfort of Damian. 

Damian's thumb ran up and down my uninjured arm softly as he continued on with his day like there wasn't a tiny being in his pocket.

The conversation outside of the pocket was muffled. Occasionally Damian spoke up, clearer than the rest, but even his voice was hushed so I could fall asleep.

And to be honest? I wasn't hard to. 

Gretchen was right, we had a really fun day.

A little coffee burn can't change that.

Especially if it means my day ends with a nap.

And I'll probably get to stay at Damian's then, where I can see his mother, the wonderful lady who taught him about the value of lives, no matter what some old karen says. 

I wrap my arm around one of Damian's fingers as I let myself fall asleep.

i had so much fun writing this fic while yelling at bear about pocket content,,,,its not a g/t mg fic with out pocket time

@realmisspolarbear @musicallygt @smallsoysauce @sourishlemons

Cosmo & Amber

Amber: [okay so the clerb was a whole mood ™ before his ⚽ mates make it awkward and she goes off with some other lad, but we wanna say anything happened between them before then or is it just a VIBE] Cosmo: [I say a VIBE] Amber: [if you wanted you could do your own #necklaceapology here unless you wanna say that already happened] Cosmo: [probably not now 'cos of the leaving with someone else element of it all, even though he deffo changed and blanked her basically, 'cos you know] Amber: [ah the joys] Cosmo: [fun times all 'round] Cosmo: get home safe? Amber: I will when he takes me home Amber: how are you feeling? Cosmo: fantastic Amber: 9 lives Cosmo: no need to compare numbers Amber: did you have a game today? Cosmo: friendly Amber: and was it? Cosmo: you wanna know if I got carded? Amber: and if you scored or helped someone else to Amber: I want to know everything that happened Cosmo: We lost Amber: and you don't want to talk about it or we can? Cosmo: we've had enough of an ear-bashing off the management but if you reckon you've got any suggestions feel free Amber: why do you think I'd be coming from a place of 😠? Cosmo: losing = bad Amber: not if it means you win next time Amber: everything's a learning experience when your dad's a teacher Cosmo: I was just off my game Cosmo: it's not going to happen again Amber: I do remember saying that maybe Saturday wasn't the best night to take my clubbing 🍒 Cosmo: you wanted to go, you got what you wanted Amber: do you want to talk about it? Cosmo: about what, exactly Amber: that dig which implies you didn't get what you wanted Cosmo: There's no dig, I lost, that's not what I wanted Cosmo: I don't need you coming in after the fact with an 'I told you so' Cosmo: you saw the rest of my team out, it's a weekly occurrence Amber: then don't put the blame onto me Cosmo: where'd I say that Amber: I wanted to go, it's my fault Cosmo: You didn't force me to take you Cosmo: you couldn't Amber: I know, so I don't appreciate the tone Cosmo: I'm so sorry Amber: I'm sorry you lost Cosmo: sure you are Amber: it's genuine, unlike yours Cosmo: I'm not apologising to you, what the fuck have I done but take you out Cosmo: and you clearly had a good time Amber: you could apologise for how you acted last night or how you are now Amber: but I won't wait for either Cosmo: I weren't acting Amber: not before your friends got there Amber: only after Cosmo: other way 'round Cosmo: that's who I am Amber: why did you invite me out if you don't want to be seen with me? Cosmo: it's not that Cosmo: I knew they weren't your people, you wouldn't have enjoyed hanging with them Amber: you don't get to make those kind of decisions for me Cosmo: I wasn't going to let them be dicks to you Amber: neither would I Amber: I can defend my own honour, thanks Cosmo: Well if I can, then I'm going to, simple as Cosmo: it didn't need to be a thing Amber: no, if you can keep me separate from them, you're going to Amber: that's what you mean Cosmo: I told you, you're not my type of person, I'm not yours Cosmo: that includes my friends Amber: you spelled out to me in great detail how I don't fit into your life the way it is, so why did you invite me out?! Amber: you made it into a thing Cosmo: you wanted to Amber: I wanted to, the way you said it would be, not THAT Cosmo: they usually go [different club] Amber: we could've left, I'd have gone to a different club with you Cosmo: wasn't my plan either Cosmo: you would? Amber: of course, I would've, I meant everything I said about not adding to the pressure that you're under Amber: but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for you to smuggle me into dark corners like it's such a shameful secret that we're friends Amber: you don't get to treat me however you want because your life is hard Cosmo: I know it's fucked up Cosmo: and yeah, it saves me hassle, not going to deny it, but I don't wanna hear the shit they'd have to say about you, any more than I'd want you to hear it Amber: address it and you wouldn't have to hear it again, about any girl Amber: stop giving them a free pass to say things like that Cosmo: yeah, it's that easy Amber: It's not easy, nor is it easy being a girl getting treated like an object Cosmo: this is my career we're talking about Cosmo: I make their lives hard, they make mine hard for me right back Cosmo: I'd be off the team before I knew it Cosmo: it's not like they're rapists or anything crazy Amber: you've got better excuses than your brother, I'll give you that Cosmo: don't compare us Amber: why not? it's a variation of the same behaviour and I'm tired of it Cosmo: I'm fuck all like my brother Amber: at least you're sorry Cosmo: What's he done to you now? Amber: he hasn't done anything to me and this conversation isn't about him anyway Cosmo: Amber Cosmo: you can tell me Amber: you already know what he's like, I don't need to Cosmo: Sure, he's a little prick Cosmo: but why are you upset with him right now Amber: because there are girls there that are more vulnerable than me and the way you're acting like you need to stand up for me against your friends is what they need and aren't getting Amber: it was brought to my attention and I should've realised before Cosmo: what does that mean though Amber: I need to do something to help, I don't know Cosmo: you mean he's like hurt someone Amber: not physically, don't worry Cosmo: okay, good Cosmo: it sounded like you meant he'd like Cosmo: assaulted someone Amber: I'm sorry, no, it's not that Amber: like your friends, I'm sure he wouldn't Cosmo: don't girls have a whole code Cosmo: put the word out about him being whatever type of dick he's being, then you won't have to feel bad, it'll be on him and them Amber: I have Cosmo: there you go then Cosmo: they'll have the info to make their own decisions now Cosmo: opposed to whatever bullshit he might come out with Amber: I don't want to talk about Dash Cosmo: okay Amber: was your dad at your game? Cosmo: no, he was doing something with his girlfriend's family Cosmo: so I'll have to tell him now, that we lost Amber: how upset is he going to be? Cosmo: when he realizes why Cosmo: quite a bit Amber: you could lie, I won't sneak in through his window and tell him Cosmo: he'll see Cosmo: or talk to the managers Cosmo: I can maybe think of something that makes it sound better but he isn't big on excuses so Amber: they don't know why, do they? unless they were also at the club which is a bit hypocritical and strange Amber: but I was asking to see if you wanna do a meditation or something with me before you tell him Amber: this boy doesn't have a yoga mat, I could improvise though Cosmo: One of the lads practically sprayed the pitch Cosmo: weren't me but it's a sort of if one of us is in shit then we all are Cosmo: but no one else's dad will make 'em do extra training on top of the extra training Cosmo: it's fine, just not ideal Cosmo: I think you should leave, though Amber: why do you think I should leave? Cosmo: you don't even know who he is Amber: he's making brunch and I have manners Cosmo: if you had manners you wouldn't be using me for entertainment whilst you wait Amber: I'm not Amber: I'm making sure you're okay because I haven't seen or heard from you since last night happened the way it did Cosmo: You don't need to check up on me Cosmo: go enjoy your brunch Amber: you didn't need to either but you started this conversation to do exactly that Cosmo: I had no idea you were having brunch Amber: relax, 9, it isn't candlelit Amber: he's on his phone too Amber: just because I sleep outside doesn't mean I was born in a barn Cosmo: Does he know how old you are Amber: yes, I don't seduce men via deception Cosmo: how old is this man then Amber: 18, he's a boy really Cosmo: 🙄 Amber: what? Cosmo: bit weird on his part Amber: where did you meet all your stalkers and girlfriends? Cosmo: I've not gone out with an 18 year old Amber: you're behaving like I said 28 Amber: if I'd met him at school, it wouldn't even be an issue Cosmo: it'd still be weird Cosmo: you're a kid Amber: ⭐ Cosmo: Whatever Amber: it's not, stop trying to make me feel bad about this Cosmo: I'm not, I'm saying he's weird Amber: do you know him? Amber: because after your reluctance to let your friends anywhere near me, I don't think you're in any position to judge Cosmo: he's 18, you told him you were 15 Cosmo: speaks for itself Amber: boy, you're in the wrong career 👮 Amber: I'm fine thanks, officer Cosmo: 'cos sound lads can never get girls their own age Cosmo: it isn't my fault if you feel bad Amber: yes it is because last night is a weekly occurrence for you and it you know it wasn't for me Amber: so you don't get to tell me how I can or can't decide to make the best of something Cosmo: Then you should listen to me and go home Cosmo: for fuck's sake Amber: I can't walk home from here in this outfit, it's too far Amber: you think he's weird that'd be nothing on what I'd get from actual grown men if I do Cosmo: you can't make him give you money for a cab? Amber: I don't want to ask, because if he says no then you're right, and I don't want you to be right Cosmo: I'll ping you some now alright Cosmo: then we don't have to find out Amber: don't, I haven't got any way to pay you back Amber: you've spelled out your feelings about 🍏🍊🐓 Cosmo: would you rather chance it and get a lift back from someone you don't even want to ask about the taxi Cosmo: how else are you going to do it, don't be stupid Amber: 😠 okay Amber: but I'm staying angry at you Cosmo: do what you like, I don't care about the money or paying you to be nice Amber: what do you care about? I'll do something that'll benefit that Cosmo: just get home unmurdered, yeah Cosmo: that works for me Amber: are you home? I could make you brunch Cosmo: you just want two brunches Amber: yes, but I also want you to have one Cosmo: What are you going to make? Amber: after extensive research, a lot of footballers are vegan, are you? Cosmo: for the most part Cosmo: I eat fish sometimes Amber: oily fish is good for ⚽ that was part of the research and 🍣📸 is apparently part of the lifestyle Amber: but avocado toast with blueberry, banana and chia seed pancakes won't get me voted out of the commune Cosmo: alright nerd Cosmo: is he a footballer or what? Amber: no, he goes to some catholic school, I don't know it Cosmo: definite weirdo then Cosmo: nah, thanks though Cosmo: sounds good Amber: his parents house is pretty close to yours so don't ruin your appetite with snacks Cosmo: I don't eat snacks Cosmo: not even to piss you off Amber: never?! Amber: What about 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 ? Amber: or 🥜? Cosmo: if I was dying but nah Cosmo: little and often Amber: I'm relieved you're not dying Amber: it sounds like you and your friends partied harder than I did after we separated Cosmo: They did anyway Amber: you didn't? Cosmo: I never get as fucked up as them Amber: because you don't want to or because you're 💪🏽? Cosmo: I don't wanna be the one making us lose Cosmo: or losing my spot on the team Amber: it stops being fun Amber: if I make a decision I'd like to know that it wasn't my blood alcohol level that really did Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: think a lot of people do the opposite for the excuse Amber: not to side with your dad before I've even met him but I don't love excuses either Cosmo: it's a good rule, if a little tough Amber: I did think you were saying that was why you weren't as focused though Cosmo: can be, if you like Amber: but what's the answer? Cosmo: nosy Amber: secretive Cosmo: it doesn't matter does it Amber: it must matter to you if it's why you lost Amber: but it doesn't matter if you don't want to tell me, I'm still making brunch Amber: [show up and knock 9 times again gal] Cosmo: [shooketh lowkey like didn't think you were that close, also so many knocks, saying Indie is home so being over your shoulder like it's fine I know who it is as you open the door] Amber: [we know the vibe she's making herself at home immediately because she's that bitch, saying hi to his mum and asking her if she wants brunch too or just tea or coffee all the while in last night's extra af club lewk because awkwardness doesn't exist for her and we're getting in that kitchen and putting on music and dancing and cooking like we live here] Cosmo: [just introducing her because we're freaking out but then you're like, idk what to even say so you're calling her 'Dash's friend' which frankly makes this stranger though I guess explainable lol, lowkey not even looking at her because we cannot for all the reasons] Amber: [that hurt her heart because boy I'm literally making you brunch, we're friends, but we're not correcting that sentence, we're just chatting to his mum and doing all the things like he's lowkey not there] Cosmo: [oh boy, so lowkey rude truly on accident because you don't want the conversation I highly doubt your mum would start rn like OOOOOOOOH lol, gonna make your dad call you like he's found out so go outside and promise all the shit you're gonna do to stay on top] Amber: [Indie would never do you like that boy but we know where you're coming from and Amber isn't coming for your life rn either even if she doesn't understand because she literally tells her parents everything] Cosmo: [come in in a bit visibly more stressed even though you already were/always are, poor boy[ Amber: [at least the food would probably be ready by then because none of the things she was making would take that long and I assume his dad was going off for a while so she can just put the food in front of him] Cosmo: [look like ? as if you literally didn't compute she was really doing it until it's fully in front of you like oh 'thank you' also piss off now Indie/Billie sorry bye] Amber: [take your coffee and go gal before he has a breakdown please, the bae who isn't the bae needs to smile at him in a really genuine and adorable way because he remembered his manners] Cosmo: [smiling back but we're just distracted by all things so it's not as real as it can be though we trying 'what did you have for your first brunch?'] Amber: ['oatmeal' not said in a shady way but it's just reinforcing that the boy wasn't bringing his A game here] Cosmo: [just raising a brow and trying not to smile too smugly 'glad you put more effort in'] Amber: [😠 lowkey because he doesn't get to be smug like at least that boy made something he hasn't even made her a drink like excuse you 'I'm glad you like it'] Cosmo: [nudging her under the table with his foot like what] Amber: [a look like you know what] Cosmo: ['you want more oatmeal?' doing a bad mimic of her voice] Amber: [hitting him on the arm like stop, even if she has to lean across the table to do it] Cosmo: ['what?' well done for saying it] Amber: ['I like oatmeal more than you right now' because we're cross] Cosmo: ['hey' and reaching across the table to do the squeeze-of-the-hand-apology and then gesturing at her plate like let's just eat] Amber: [when he literally hasn't touched her before this so we're dying but eating like it's chill] Cosmo: ['this is a better way to do the footballer diet than I have been' for a compliment moment 'cos like everything we're being overly regimented duh] Amber: [leaves the pancake recipe in the chat for him because quick and easy tbh] Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: [then doing it IRL like a nerd] Amber: 🤓 Amber: [but we're amused] Cosmo: that's you Cosmo: I'm evil, I remember Cosmo: [jokey 😒 'cos wants to be a Gryffindor 'good guy'] Amber: no, you're brave but not stupid Amber: [goes on a little slytherin pride style rant like this is how great you are] Cosmo: [just like 'say how you really feel about me' like it's all bants but listening to all her nerding out] Amber: ['I feel like you'd be a good friend to have' because we haven't forgotten what he said earlier] Cosmo: [penny dropping moment 'cos boys are that oblivious facts lol, shrugging like come on but clearly awkward 'what should I have said? after last night-' like are you even my friend now] Amber: ['You said what you were comfortable with' again not said in a shady way, just like yet again I'm not trying to make your life hard boy 'but after last night, if I were you, I'd want to pacify me'] Cosmo: ['how would you suggest I do that?' saucy saucy] Amber: ['I would suggest it comes from you, to be like, actually sincere'] Cosmo: [🤔 then being like hold up and go get that necklace honeyyy] Amber: [we're immediately putting that on even though it doesn't go with this outfit] Cosmo: [nodding our approval 'cos not risking saying anything rn] Amber: ['it's not a good luck charm, right?' like I'm not getting blamed if you lose again] Cosmo: [shakes his head 'if you start doing that kind of thing, can get a bit OCD, like'] Amber: [playing with this necklace casually 'maybe it will be for me' cos we're happy now that he's being nice] Cosmo: ['what do you need luck for?' actual question not being rude lol] Amber: ['next time you take me clubbing' we got bants] Cosmo: [just like alright, alright 'it was me who ended up having a shit night anyway'] Amber: [doing the hand squeeze apology back to him] Cosmo: [pulling away, not too dramatically 'cos not an ew moment, but clearly not her fault so like nah girl] Amber: [getting up to wash up because even though they've 100% got a dishwasher she wouldn't have ever lived anywhere that does cos hippie life so it wouldn't occur to her honestly] Cosmo: [finding a tea towel like I'll dry] Amber: [how coupley of you, love that, just grooving while we do this because of course] Cosmo: [gonna lowkey check you out 'you didn't do enough dancing...we'll have to go again, actually'] Amber: [just giving a horrified look like they're no such thing as enough dancing thank you but then loling 'we could do a friday night instead, if that works better for you'] Cosmo: ['alright' then pausing 'probably not for a while' 'cos we have all this extra training to do and people to appease so we gon' be busy] Amber: ['okay' genuine because she will wait and that's the tea, then I'm gonna take the bathtub moment from the OG convo we did because #mood and it actually works better now cos she does need to bathe lol so I'm saying she goes upstairs, making herself at home again obvs and calls 'bring me tea' over her shoulder as she goes like the queen she is] Cosmo: [it does work better and is needed so go ahead, though he is truly confused where she is going and why but like okay, pop off at this point] Amber: [excuse us Indie because you're assumedly still here lol] Cosmo: how do you take your tea Cosmo: we don't have green Amber: I don't like green tea, don't worry Amber: but I still take black tea that way, no milk Amber: what colour is your sugar? Cosmo: I think we might have some 🤎 in the baking shit if it's a dealbreaker Amber: if there is, I'll have some but it's not Amber: we run out of everything at home Cosmo: I'll be amazed if we have any left but 🤞🙏 Amber: at least you have hot water Cosmo: that's what you're doing Amber: 🛀🏽🧜🏽 Cosmo: don't get in yet Amber: why? Cosmo: your tea will get cold Amber: you're supposed to bring it to me, boy Cosmo: how am I meant to Cosmo: leave it at the door? Cosmo: close my eyes? Amber: I won't be able to reach it if you leave it there, and you don't need to be embarrassed Cosmo: I'm not embarrassed Amber: fine, neither of us will get accidentally scolded by hot tea that you're carrying around with your eyes closed then Cosmo: not clumsy, for one, do more research nerd Amber: oh, are you carrying it with your feet? I didn't realise, sorry Cosmo: you reckon all my skill is in my feet only? Amber: and your head, if footballers are still allowed to do that? Amber: but you're not a goalkeeper Cosmo: yeah, headers are valid Cosmo: rest assured, I can still get a full mug to you Amber: they are banned for children because the risk of brain damage is valid too, according to my research Amber: chronic traumatic encephalopathy Cosmo: big words Cosmo: all I know is rugby is rougher Cosmo: or I could be a boxer, so Amber: it also happens to boxers, I don't know about rugby players Cosmo: anything where you're getting bashed about the head too much Cosmo: most only do it when necessary but it's some people's 'thing' to assist or score rather than lose it in the scrabble of feet Amber: that makes sense, but we've digressed here away from the debate of how good you are, or aren't, with your hands Cosmo: what you mean is, we've digressed away from you getting your tea in a prompt manner Cosmo: diva Amber: yes and yes Cosmo: 😏 Cosmo: it's brewing Amber: thanks Cosmo: you can take back what you said about my lack of skills later, like Amber: if you have foraging skills for sugar, maybe I will Cosmo: see if you taste the difference Amber: now you're doubting my skills? I guess I deserve that Cosmo: your taste? Cosmo: happened last night tbh Amber: 😠 Cosmo: come on Cosmo: I could've said when we met Cosmo: I was being well nice Amber: if you'd said it when we met I'd have agreed with you Cosmo: I suppose anything's a step up Amber: the sex absolutely was Cosmo: thrilled for you Amber: there's still plenty left for you to make fun of him, and me, about Cosmo: I'd rather not Amber: I'd rather you didn't either but it hasn't stopped you so far Cosmo: just stop talking then Amber: talking to me like that isn't going to provoke me into giving you the silent treatment Cosmo: [just bring this tea up moodily] Amber: [taking it and saying thanks again as if you're just at the kitchen table or whatever instead of naked and chilling in this bath lol] Cosmo: [we are not looking and just shrugging like whatever idc] Amber: [splashing him obvs like stop being rude] Cosmo: [when you can't even be mad like your ma uses this bathroom 'cos clearly not so you're just scowling but not 👀 her] Amber: [just smelling everything that's on the side of this bath because you don't want to use anything that's Dash's] Cosmo: [doing our hair in the mirror as if we need] Amber: ['are you always like this when a girl wants to spend time with you?' do we mean rude or checking yourself out instead of her or both tbh] Cosmo: [big sigh and rubbing our temples 'you wanted a bath'] Amber: ['and you'd also rather I didn't do that?'] Cosmo: ['do you not think this is weird?'] Amber: ['You're making it bizarre now' because genuinely doesn't think it's weird obviously or she wouldn't do it] Cosmo: [scoffs like oh yeah, me] Amber: [splashing him bigger than before] Cosmo: [turning 'round like STOP but then you're just looking at her the most intense] Amber: [obviously looking back like please just say something or do something before we both die lol] Cosmo: [when you shake your head microscopically to say you can't 'cos you wanna so bad obvs] Amber: [when you're not even doing the pout for a pisstake it just happens naturally because likewise, soz for drawing even more attention to those lips like] Cosmo: [the noise you're barely holding back here 'you know we can't'] Amber: ['I know we could' because it would be so easy rn to let this happen and they both know it lbr and I can only imagine how her voice sounds rn, soz again] Cosmo: [shaking your head more vigorously to snap yourself outta it 'cos you must, and throwing a new towel down for her like there you go and making your exit] Amber: [doing such a cinematic and dramatic lay down in the water moment because ffs] Cosmo: [lord knows what you're gonna do with yourself boy] Amber: [she should literally leave right now immediately but we in this bath now so blatantly getting clean first, a lot quicker than she would of but still the idea makes me lol] Cosmo: [lmao, just glad you no doubt have a gym sesh or something now so get that frustration out but lord] Amber: [just gotta awkwardly leave here in that club lewk because we can't ask him for an outfit rn, oh gal] Cosmo: [ah the awks awks awks] Amber: [such fun, this is why I love you two, he cockblocks himself so we don't have to] Cosmo: [truly but also hate it lol] Amber: [we 100% need to give him a WAG girlfriend like remember when Joe had that cringey Blake Lively one back in the day] Cosmo: [oh lord yes] Amber: [I'm trying to think who looks like a WAG so we can give her a face for the lols] Cosmo: [I was thinking a character like Ruby from sex education, she's the only one I can think of rn, but that's a WAG-ish vibe] Amber: [I vibe that and I also have an idea how he could meet her like what if she's to do with the dad's girlfriend like when people are really extra about their goddaughters pretending like they are fam when they're for real not even] Cosmo: [that's a fat mood, just using your godmother to get a mans lowkey lol] Amber: [anyways that's for another convo, you can post this if you like]