Instead of saying Ironwood fell into villainy, I'm gonna say he was teleported there

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 23 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

A Taste of Armageddon - in plot, if not title - is one I remember from TV Tropes years ago, which even today sounds like one of the most interesting metaphors for war and politics that anyone’s ever come up with. But what of its execution, and its applicability? Let’s find out.

* Pretty good nutshell of diplomacy: we’re here to save lives... by claiming territory, whether the locals want us or not! * Good impression of the special guest ambassador’s actor, too. The script has him just this side of unreasonable, but there’s a gravitas to the performance that says he’s not acting this way for fun. * Wait, I thought Sulu was in charge if both Kirk and Spock left? * Oh good golly this is a gorgeous planet backdrop... ** ... balanced out by the silly-ass outfits on the actual inhabitants, of course. I kinda missed these balls-to-the-wall future fashions the last few eps. * So knowing the twist ahead of time takes some of the fun out of it, but I still love the buildup of Kirk trying all his weapon sensors one-by-one (starting with Spock’s ears!). Because on the Final Frontier, you can’t take anything for granted - how many times has the Enterprise’s best tech been punked by the alien-of-the-week, already? ** “Computer don't kill a half million people.” I take some of those points back. Kirk, what the fuck do you think shoots everything in the Enterprise’s arsenal?! * That aside, this is still an utter banger to drop in the first act. It’s Kodos’ butchery, stretched into a matter of routine, centuries-long policy, as a means of coping with exponentially higher stakes. Spock’s “I do not approve. I understand.” is the absolute crowner of it all. * Ooh, Bones-Scotty dynamic! Pretty rare- ** Okay Scotty is officially my favorite backup Captain. * So Vulcan Mind-Melds can be used for brainwashing now? ** I wouldn’t mind this so much if it was truly the only way Kirk and co. could’ve escaped, but if all they needed was for the guard to open the door a split-second, couldn’t they feign one of the party having a heart attack or a mental crackup or something? * How convenient, we’re just in time to save the young, pretty local! * Well. That was significantly less funny than the script thought it was. * I guess I should save this for the end, but I should put it here before I forget: this episode is kicking Return of the Archons’ ass in every quarter, despite hitting the same beats with an even more aggressively jingoistic Kirk (not even a mention of the Prime Directive here!). What a difference competent pacing and tension makes. * Alas, the Enterprise crew being this competent means someone has to cock things up enough to fill another two acts. Even doing my best to ignore the “he’s opposing the main characters so he must be wrong!” instinct, it takes a special kind of arrogance to waltz into a place the locals admit is an open warzone and still think you can just plant an embassy. ** And Scotty does damn well for himself here, though I would’ve loved to see him fire back with “Oh, a diplomat? Why don’t you try summa your diplomacy on me 'stead of barking orders?” * Just like that, this lead Councilman guy instantly proves himself one of the season’s most interesting villains: he’s judging humanity because he considers himself part of it, and the atrocities he’s doing for the greater good are as relevant today as they were in 1966. ** Meanwhile, the best Kirk’s got is “We don't make war with computers.” [Laughs in NATO] * Attaboy, Scotty. Let the jackass beam himself down and Natural Selection will take care of the rest. * Awww, way to ruin the fun, Spock. * Getting back to how superior this is to Archons in every way imaginable - what I love about these planets’ nightmarish setup is that it’s the perfect extreme of a quote-unquote pragmatic state, more than any emotionless, secret police-controlled cult could ever be. These are governments that have completely embraced the idea that violence and suffering can’t be reduced - only dammed and redirected. That predictable is the closest any decent-sized society can ever get to good. That they don’t revel in the death lets us maintain a level of sympathy; that they don’t even think about haggling it down lets us know there’s nothing wrong with Kirk tearing the whole thing apart. ** (That said, he could stand to be a little less smug about it, and straight-up telling the Enterprise to raze everything if they don’t play ball is... not good.) * Well, we’re getting close to the end, so time for the rest of the guards to make like dominoes. * Okay, Kirk’s “neat and painless” speech - it’s not quite addressing the topic I find most interesting, but it’s still plenty relevant to Current Issues so I’ll applaud. ** Also applause-worthy: he saves it for the people of this planet, not the computers. I understand this is a lesson Roddenberry himself will be struggling with - inasmuch as any computer can be evil, it’s only by making such things easier for people. * “I've had some small experiences in such matters.” Considering how easily you got suckered by them, I’d reckon it’s damn small... * ... wait, that raze-the-planet thing wasn’t just a bluff? You really were going to do it if they didn’t knuckle? What the hell, man.

So I’ve heaped plenty praise on this episode - more, possibly, than even Balance of Terror - as a pure sci-fi adventure. But that, alas, only throws the political/moral message into sharper relief, and when all’s said and done I’m not sure it’s one I agree with. As a pure metaphor for how detached and arbitrary war becomes with every new generation, it’s still a thing of beauty - but the idea that all you really need to do to solve it all is have a barrel-chested hero barge in, smash everything up, and instate peace at Phaser-point evokes Archons without really improving on it in any meaningful way. Maybe two episodes’ worth of story could’ve let it develop into something more satisfactory still; maybe a promising premise and a bleh ending was all it was ever going to be...

Next: KHHHHAAhhh, you know the rest.

Top 15 Star Trek TOS Episodes (Part Two)

(Part One)

Continuing from the last post, here are the remaining seven episodes~! Also picking Number One was SUPER hard. I was stuck between it and two for a long while. But I finally picked, so here we go!

#7. The Trouble With Tribbles

Up to this point, I hadn’t been crazy over some of the goofier episodes of Star Trek. Shore Leave was a mindscrew that left me uncertain about what was even happening by the end, though my opinion has lightened up upon looking back. The Squire of Gothos had a villain that I found far more annoying than entertaining and it remains one of my least favorite episodes. The only more silly one I did like was I, Mudd which remains an utter laugh riot once everyone acts as illogical as possible, including Spock. But then this episode came along, and Dear Lord it is hilarious. Our heroes stop at a space station, but it’s also occupied by Klingons. But wait, it gets better! A sleezy guy convinces Uhura to buy a Tribble, these little puff ball things that are kind of cute... until they begin to reproduce so rapidly that they infest the ship and base. To put it simply, it’s not a good time for Kirk. Honestly Kirk is the best part just because of how much he LOATHES every single thing about this episode. The scene where a whole bunch of Tribbles just topple over him and he just resigns himself to his fate and later his epic death glare at Bones when he orders him to figure out what killed the things. And then there’s what makes him come aorund to them, their shared hatred of Klingons. Seriosuly, Kirk is just So Done in this episode and it is amazing~

But seriously, it’s a very entertianing episode. Far more than I thought it was going to be when I read the description. It’s not an episode taken seriosuly, but not in the ‘they just gave up’ kind of way like in certain S3 episodes. The cast seem to be legit having a fun time with this one. The brawl between Scotty, Chekov, and a few other guys against the Klingons was super fun as was Kirk sulking when Scotty revelas that he got provoked over the Enteprise being insulted and not the captain. Poor Jim XD Cyrano Jones was also just a fun delight with how scummy yet amusing he is. The scene with him and the drinks during the brawl had me laughing so much XD Seriosuly there’s just so many good moments. Spock not being immune to the Tribble’s comforting effect and being embarassed at this revelaiton, Spock and McCoy’s snark, the Klingons utter horror at the tiny little furballs, it’s just an entertaining ride from beginning to end.

Not anything to really note flaws wise to justify the ranking. It doesn’t have that emotional or philosophical umph that I normally seek out in shows like this, so it’s here at seven. But that ain’t a bad thing at all. Not every episode has to have deep meanings or complex stories. Sometimes it can just be something fun and amusing, and the effort was still there to make it entertaining. It’s one of those episodes that I would watch above the others on a bad day just so I can laugh. Probably the most fun episode I have on this list, and that’s nothing to snuff at~!

#6. The Doomsday Machine

Our heroes find a Starship where the only survivor is Commadore Decker, his crew having all been killed when he beamed them to a planet that a planet destroyer... well, destroyed shortly after. The destroyer is still active and now the Enterprise is in danger. As Kirk remains on that ship, Decker is determined to destroyt he doomsday machine once and for all, including taking command of the Enteprrise and risking their lives to do so. Yeah, this is a pretty intense one. Decker, while his sucicdal actions were wrong, is VERY sympathetic. His crew was killed through no fault of his own, the machine that did it is still loose, and the losses have left him utterly broken. He’s very much traumatized but as he is the highest ranking officer and they can’t officially prove that he’s too mentlaly unfit to be relieved (which imo is idiotic cause even someone who isn’t a psycologist can tell he’s mentally unfit, but whatever), they can’t do much to stop him. Spock DOES finally manage to do so, and it leads to Decker’s ultimate choice that leads to his tragic end.

This one really gripped me. There’s this tension throughout. We have an unstable, suicidal man taking control of the Enterprise and willing to get them all killed to stop the doomsday machine. It’s scary to see how broken the man is. Again, he’s wrong to be willing to sacrifice everyone on The Enterprise to destroy the thing even though none of them want to die, but you understand why. I mean imagine if that happened to Kirk, he’d probably snap too if his actions in Obsession is any indication of how he handles major losses like that. Then we have Decker’s final act. Once relieved of command, he steals a shuttle and goes at the machine himself. He knows that he’s going to die and accepts that fact if it means some chance, any chance of destroying the machine once and for all. While he fails to destory it, he DOES give Kirk the opprotunity needed to do so with the ruined ship. A move that almost gets Kirk killed, but still Decker’s act was not in vain. It’s a very interesting character study with themes of guilt, trauma, and desperation. Kind of like in Obsession in a way, only Kirk manages to survive and pull himself together before it was too late. Decker’s only goal was to take down the machine that took his crew’s lives, even if that meant losing his own.

As I said, these are the kinds of episodes I live for. I guess self-sacrifice is also genetic consideirng what happened with his son in The Motion Picture, haha. Flaws... ugh... I guess McCoy disappeairng after the first half sucked? But that’s a me thing that doesn’t affect anything. I just remember watching it wide-eyed despite fully well knowing that everyone I cared about were going to be perfectly fine. It really gripped me! A great episode with great character exploration and themes which for a one off character, is pretty dang impressive!

#5. Journey to Babel

Meet the parents epidsode! Yay! The Enteprise is transporting various ambassadors of various planets to the Babel Conference. This includes the Vulcan Ambassador Sarek and his human wife Amanda, aka Spock’s parents. Yep, it’s time for some good ol’ fashioned family issues! Sarek wasn’t exactly happy with Spock choosing Starfleet and their relationship has been strained ever since. But when Sarek has severe heart problems, the only way to save him is via blood transfusion with Spock the only one compatible. But to make it worse, Kirk gets stabbed and put out of comission, forcing Spock to take command... at the same time that his father needs the surgery. Yeah... it sucks to be Spock in this episode. I know that Sarek is a bit divisive, but I like Spock’s parents. Sarek comes off as good at his job, but not great as a parent. He’s far fromt he worst and we do see that he does seem to still care about his son, he’s just God awful at admitting it and his previous mistakes. Like father, like son I guess. Amanda was a delight, especially when she tells McCoy about the sehlat aka giant teddy bear. Anyone who can make Bones smile that big deserves our thanks. Spock trying to make it less embarassing only made it funnier XD But back on topic, they come off as interesitng characters. They ain’t ideal, but they seem to genuinely be in love, which is nice.

Spock was just great here as we see him in one of the roughest spots he’s been in. He’s naturally not happy about being around the father that cast him aside again, though after his heart issues it’s clear that he IS concerned. Leonard Nimoy once again does such a fantastic job at having Spock express so much but without breaking character. It’s all in the eyes and the strained tone of voice. Then when Spock is more than willing to go through with the tranfusion, Kirk is injured. He has no choice but to take command, knowing that in doing so his father will die. While he COULD give command to Scotty, with the VERY intense circumstances of an assaliant on board and a ship ready to attack wit a number of ambassadors on board, he’s the best bet in handling it. Amanda is of course upset and even smacks him which IS overly harsh, but she’s about to lose her husband and her son, despite clealry hating the fact, has to place his duty above all else. Sarek dying is the least worst outcome to everyone else being killed. It’s the most logical route. Fortunately Kirk is able to pull himself together long enough to take over and the transfusion goes through perfectly despite the fight making it more difficult. Which again, McCoy is the true MVP here for managing to pull that off successfully under those conditions and Thank God that the episode rewarded him by letting him finally get the last word. He earned that one!

It’s such a great episode for me. Family drama, Spock conflict, political tensions, and just some relaly fun bits. Seriosuly, the teddy bear bit will NEVER stop being funny. Hoenstly these last five were all pretty tight and this ende dup here cause the other four had just a little bit mroe to keep me invested for reasons. Spock and Sarek don’t really reach a resolution but we do see that it has the chance to improve, and the movies do show that Sarek DOES truly care about his son and even admits that he had been wrong. It takes a lot for a man, even a Vulcan man, to do that. Although I DID double take when I realized that Sarek is played by the same guy who did the Romulan Captain in Balance of Terror. Guess he was that good XD. But yeah, a really great episode and very much my favorite Spock-centric episode.

#4. The Empath

TRIUMVIRATE FEELS BABY~! Our heroes end up trapped by a duo of aliens and encounter a mute empath woman that McCoy names Gem. They try to figure out how to escape as the aliens known as Vians plan to use them for an experiment as they have others. Shenanigains happen while elad to Kirk getting totured p, and then given the ultimate sadistic choice in having to decide if either Spock or McCoy get tortured to the point of either death (McCoy) or permenant brain damage (Spock). Now the episode has it’s issues, like why the Vians needed to do this to decide that Gem’s people were worth saivng is..l really baffling. But I’m also not a Vian so what do I know anout their mindset? But due to those kinds of plot holes, it landed here at four. It also kind of reads like a hurt/comfort fanfic, which isn’t a surprise when you find out that this was written and submitted by a fan. Which is freakin’ awesome and I can’t complain tbh cause it’s a good hurt/comfort fic. What it fails in some plot tightning it succeeds at in emphasizing the relationship between the main trio and it’s themes of emotion and self-sacrifice. Because OF COURSE that would be relevant for these three numbskulls at some point!

The second half is really what sells it. Kirk of course can’t make a choice like that, so Bones hypos him so that he’ll be spared of it. But that means that Spock is in command and he fully intends to hand himself over to the Vians to spare the two. Just the scene where he looks at Kirk, knowing that it’ll likely be the last time he sees him and Gem touching him to feel his emotions. Her smile sums it sll up. Which sidenote, the actress for Gem was freakin’ fantastic in how she displayed so much emotion and character without saying one word. Excellent acting. Anyways, Spock’s plan seems full-proof... except that he forgot that he’s dealing with McCoy, who promptly hypos him as well and sacrifices himself to the Vians. That was when McCoy became my favorite character, the moment he chose to be tortured to near death to save his two best friends and an innocent woman and even took the time to try and comfort her before being taken away. When we see the ifnal result and are greeted to DeForest Kelley looking at the camera with the most dead expression that he can muster... yeah the image STILL haunts me. Then Bones is dying with the two unable to do anything but try to give him some comfort and Gem is just so distraught and... heah this episode mad eit this high simply because it hit the emotional beats perfectly. That’s not even going into Gem trying to heal him to drive home the themes of the episode, also done VERY well.

This episode really shows how much the three care for one another. They’re all willing to be tortured and die to spare the other two. Ultimately McCoy gets the ‘honor’, but Kirk and Spock were absolutely ready to throw themselves to the fire. The characterization, interactions, and dynamic are just done so well that it’s why I can forgive the plot issues. I’m a sucker for feelings okay?! So yeah it’s not perfect but what it got right it got right. As such, it managed to land here at Number Four with only those plot holes keeping it from Number One. And trust me, I was tempted.

#3. The Tholian Web

Season 3 hadn’t been doing it for me with only one or two episodes really getitng my attention up to that point. This one though? This was the best episode in the seaosn bar none. Our heroes end up in a subspace where they find a starship and it’s crew all dead. Whien they teleport back to The Enterprise, it disappears... and takes Kirk with it. Okay, doesn’t sound liek anythignt hat new right? Kirk goes missing, the crew have to deal without him and find him as quickly as posisble. But this one has a bit of a twist... they cut Kirk out completely. Yeah, from the moment he vanishes in the first act to the very end he is out of the episode. Not only does the crew not know what happened to him, but neither does the audience, this ramps up the fear and emotional weight big time as the longer the crew is int hat space, the influence of it drives them to insanity. Bones wants to get out because of this, while Spock is unwilling to leave Kirk if he is alive. Needles to say, things go off the rails quickly.

With Kirk out of the equation, we keep our focus on Spock and McCoy. Their arguing is probably at the most personal it’s ever been with Kirk seming dead, the crew losing their minds, and it looking more and more uncertain that they can both treat the crew and ge tout alive. While one can say that McCoy may be too harsh here, I think along with the space affecting him in a less intense way, he’s also stressed from all the patients as well as his grief about Jim. Spock is the only one that he can take it out on, especially since his chocie to not leave is why they’re now int he mess that they’re in. Spock is trying to perform his duties despite the hostilities and his own grief that he’s trying to keep a grip on with all the responsibility of the crew and whatever happens due to his choice firmly sititng on his shoulders. What finally starts to get them to resolve this? A tape that Kirk made for them in the event of his death. He gives them his confidence that they can perform their duties withiut him, but that they need to lsiten to and support each other. They CAN go on without him. It’ll hurt but they’re now all that they each have and they need to work together now more than ever. It’s a sobering moment for both with McCoy realizng how ovelry harsh he had been and Spock expressing genuine grief. They do still bicke rone more time, but McCoy catches himself before it goes too far, apologizes, and Spock simply says what Jim would: “Forget it, Bones”. Cue Bones fainting like the Southern Bell that he is, haha!

Now of course Kirk is alive and they manage to save him and get out of the situation fine. But I just loved this because of the focus on Spock and McCoy without Kirk. Why? Because Kirk is the one thing that can unite them. It’s not the only thing, but if anything can make them get over their disagreements quickly, it’s Kirk. So what happens when it looks like he’s gone and never coming back? How will the two deal with it now that that balance is gone? They don’t deal with it well, being at each other’s throats until they see that tape. But it DOES show that if they did lose Kirk, they CAN work together and go on. Like I said, I adore these two’s relationship and while not as slashy as All Our Yesterdays, this is such an excellent one for that relationship as we see that yes, they will bicker but they will also be there for each other when it all comes down to it. It’s such a great episode for that reason and the plot was just well done. Like I said, casitng out Jim and leaving us unsure of what happened to him was an excellent move for this one and I enjoyed the exploration that it allowed.

#2. The Immunity Syndrome

Out heroes are scent to investigate what caused a whole solar system to disappear just as they also receive a message from a Vulcan science vessel. Unfortunately, Spock senses he vessel’s destruction and the Enterprise finds itself against a giant space amoeba that will devour everything unless stopped. That may not sound like much, but it leads into what I think was the most intense situation that the Enterprise has been in. Everything, and I mean everything, is pushed to their limits here. This amoeba can outright destroy galaxies and utterly mindless, so there’s no reasoning with it. But it gets especially tense when, in order to understand exactly what’s going on, Kirk has to send someone in the space shuttle to observe, but in doing so, he’s sending someone to most likely die. And his choices? Either Spock or Bones... yeah.

This is what makes this episode great. Spock and Bones are already on rockier than usual terms due to McCoy treating the Vulcan deaths more like a statistic while Spock sensed all of it outright. That itself is an interesting observation on how we treat these kinds of things, not really understanding how horrific it is unless we’re involved in it outright, otherwise it’s sad and unfortunate but just another number. But then we have the suicide mission. Bones originally volunteers himself, after all he’s a doctor and would have the knowledge to make the necessary observaitons and likely the most fit for it. But Spock is not only also perfectly capable even if not specialized in medical science, but he’s also more fit physically and emotionally to undergo the risk and come out alive. In the end, Kirk picks Spock and McCoy ain’t happy about it. The scene with Spock about ready to go with McCoy still unhappy even when Spock asks him to wish him luck. He does... once the doors have shut and Spock can’t hear him anymore. It’s a very strong scene and it only gets more painful when it looks like Spock is truly going to die and his final words are that McCoy should have wished him luck. Bones’ face says everything.

The episode is just excellent. Great character moments. Great emotional weight. Great stakes that keep going up and up and it truly feels like the darkest hour for the crew. Kirk and Spock outright begin to record their respective final words. Even they’re convinced that this is most likely the end, which is just... dang man. I couldn’t look away during this one. They hit everything perfectly with pretty much everything. If I have any issues, none of them come to mind. It’s just an excellent episode and the best of Season 2. I had a REALLY hard time picking between this and my Number One for the top slot. The top one just had a little bit more emotional impact to get it, but it just barely topped this one. Regardless, it is still an excellent episode and one of the best by far. But what is Number One? Well...

#1. The City on the Edge of Forever

Yeah, yeah, obvious pick I know. I normally don’t go wth popular opinion... but sometimes it’s that way for a reason, and this one I can’t argue about. When McCoy gets badly drugged on accident, he goes into a derranged state and beams onto a planet. The crew is unable to stop him from entering a portal known as the Guardian of Forever that sends him into the distant past where he does something to change histry. In order to figure out what changed and to stop McCoy, Kirk and Spock travel into the 1930’s a few days earlier to cut him off and must now navigate their way though the time period where they end up at a soup kitchen run by a woman named Edith Keller. Which Edith is an excellent character. She’s kind, optimistic, charming, hard-working, ad caring towards those who need it. Kirk ends up falling for her, and... it’s legit really cute. Kirk isn’t being forced to make out with a woman or doing so for information. We see how Kirk is when he genunely likes someone, having been drawn to Edith’s optimism and hopes for a better future. A future that he is from and knows will be reality. He’s really sweet and it’s just cute... which makes what happens at the end all the more tragic.

The 1930’s were fun with Kirk trying to come up with an excuse for Spock’s ears having me dying from laughter. The acting was excellent with DeForest Kelley as drugged!Bones especially being both crazy and scary. I quit doubting that he played villains in Westerns after this episode, haha. But of course Spock soon discovers that the change that McCoy is to make is saving Edith form death, and in doing so she leads a pacifist campaign that delays America’s entry into World War II and... well, things go badly. They are in a time where sadly optimism and peace are simply not options, which is even crueler. In order for time to be restored, they have to let Edith die. Kirk is horrified by this and when the time comes (sidenote, the Triumvirate reunion is utterly adorable), he just grabs Bones, keeps his back turned, and can only listen as Edith screams and is killed via car colission. Whatever grievances I have about William Shatner, he absoluteley nailed Kirk’s utter heartbreak and pain as Kirk just looks utterly boken. His final wordds after they return to the 23rd Century simply being a bitter “Let’s get the Hell out of here” sums it all up perfectly. Bones’ horror at it, especially since he DID have to watch it and him being upset at Kirk is also heartbreaking as he asks him if he knows what he just did. Spock can only somberly inform him that yes, he does.

It’s one of those cases where I wish serialization was more of a thign cause DAMN this is some major emotional baggage for everyone but as per usual. It happens and they go on from there with no lingering development. I guess if I had to complain, that would be it but that’s jut the nature of these shows at the time. Kind of feel like Bones getting as bady overdosed as he did pretty much got forgotten after they enter the 1930’s, but I also know nothing about 23rd Century drugs so... ah well. But the rest of the episode is so good that I can forgive those issues and they clealry did nothing to impact the placing. It had a storgn story, great emotion, great acting, great pacing, and a heartbreaking but fitting ending. The episode has a LOT of history behind it’s making that could be a post all it’s own, but no mater how this episode came to be, it is very much the best of Star Trek TOS. It was fun yet sad and had me gripped form beginning to ed and just htinkign about it now still makes me sad. Thus, it earns it’s place as my favorite episode of Star Trek TOS.

And we are done! There were a lot of really good episodes and some i REALLY did consider. A Piece of the Action, The Enemy Within (that was skipped for... certian reasons), Is There in Truth No Beauty?, This Side of Paradise, and plenty of others that I enjoyed. There were others I.. well, didn’t, but I can’t recall outright hating anything. Regardless I came in apathetic at best, and I left a fan for it’s characters, interesting ideas, and I just had a lot of fun. It’s outdated in many ways, but still relevant in others. Overall, I’m glad to have finally watched it, and I hope that I enjoy TNG just as much. But if not, I’ll always have this~!

(Image Source: TrekCore TOS Gallery)

February 3: 2x05 The Apple

Today’s ep: The Apple!

I feel like people who enjoy hating on TOS probably especially hate The Apple but I like it and will defend it so--haters be gone.

I do think it’s an uncomfortable episode and asks questions with no good answers, but that’s a plus, not a minus, for it.

I love this red sky. It’s very alien.

Okay so Starfleet wants the planet explored and “the inhabitants contacted.”

I can’t believe Spock, who must know that Kirk has unrealistic fantasies of a simple, romantic life outside of the demands of Starfleet, just happens to mention that the soil is “good for husbandry.” Like “This would be a great place to settle down and farm, Captain. no reason for saying so. Just thought you should know." And Kirk tries to capitalize on this flirting and Spock doesn’t get it.

Bones is so personally affronted that Chekov thinks of Russia, not Eden.

This Yeoman is all up on Chekov.

Scotty angling for an invite to the surface.

Kirk picking flowers! Smelling the flowers! He is soft and likes plants.

“This isn’t a field experiment in human biology.” First lol. Second... isn’t it a little though?

“I know you find each other fascinating.” Interesting word choice there.

Sorry yet a third bullet point on Daddy Kirk telling the young people to calm themselves down it’s hilaaaaarious.

I love Spock in this episode. He’s always at his best when he gets to turn his scientific curiosity to stuff. Because like he loves new, weird stuff but he’s also very funny about it. “An analysis of this rock should prove interesting.” Then he just throws the other half away! And it explodes! And he’s not even embarrassed, he just thinks the explosion is cool.

Ugh this is one of my favorite underrated K/S moments: the “Jim!” the “Spock!” Spock putting himself in danger for Kirk. Kirk being grumbly about Spock being hurt. Concerned space husbands.

“Spock has been injured...this is a nightmare.”

Honestly, I love everything about this triumvirate scene too. “Dr. McCoy’s potions turn my stomach.” Spock’s clumsiness (he really isn’t graceful lol... I sometimes think people want to imagine he is, but he is NOT). “Do you know how much Starfleet has invested in you?”

I legit jumped at the explosion.

“His father helped me get into the Academy.” Interesting. How? What help did he need?

“I could have prevented all of this.” / “I don’t see how.” Spock is so....he’s so emotional about defending Kirk’s decisions and making Kirk feel better.

“As my father told me, Starfleet is dangerous.”

...I’m sorry I’m getting so many Spock and Kirk and K/S feelings right now.

This Spock and Chekov distraction conversation is hilarious. “Uh--you’re dumb!”

That’s not very nice, Kirk, just punching the confused humanoid.

“Vaal is Vaal” reminds me of that Daria episode with “Val.” “I’m Val, as in, VAL!”

“We come in peace,” says the man who just punched him.

Antennae! Spock wants to touch the interesting alien.

Scotty knows more about the Enterprise than the people who designed her.

Fire AND burned up in flames? Not a good day for Scotty.

Great Vaal design. This is not an ironic comment.

Not a good day for Spock either. That’s injury... 2?? Force field that knocks him on his ass.

“We have been introduced to Vaal.”

Don’t tell Sybok you met god.

“Vaal sleeps now.” Poor sleepy Vaal.

“Replacement” is a better word than children tbh.

“What is love?” Chekov just slides on in like HINT HINT.

McCoy lol. “No sex?? That’s not paradise to me!”

“It really does something for you.” / “Indeed it does. It makes me uncomfortable.”

Now everyone is laughing at him! A super bad day for Spock all around.

I do think he likes the decorations in the hut though.

McCoy is still wearing the flower decorations <3

The feeding of Vaal is so creepy. The machine needs to eat! At first I didn’t really get what they were feeding him, but my mom suggested it was the explosive rocks and I think that makes sense.

“Humans are only a tiny minority in the galaxy.”

The last time they thought they’d found aliens who were making no progress they’d actually found the Organians, who were BEYOND progress, so perhaps they should have learned by now not to be so hubristic in their judgements.

I like the philosophical argument and I like that they had it on prime time network tv.

I also think it’s interesting that Spock likes this kind of way.

Honestly, can you even imagine being a young Starfleet officer and you’re assigned to the Enterprise and KIRK is your Captain? And you end up on an away mission with him and he asks your opinion about the aliens? I think I’d find him intimidatingly cool. I’d probably have a big Captain Crush on him.

Kirk really walked his way into this awkward sex conversation though.

Hilarious how he asks Spock to explain sex lol--when he knows what sex convos with Spock are like. I mean that’s probably why he did it but still.

Spock probably WISHES he’d learned about sex from a machine. Rather than Sarek. Or Amanda.

His eyeshadow is a lot more subtle this season. (I know this is just the makeup team learning how to do makeup for tv but I’m going to assume it’s a choice.)

Chekov is so smooth lol.

PAV.

Can’t believe Chekov literally taught the aliens sex.

“Killing is a thing to do.” Well I mean... you’re not WRONG.

I think McCoy has a point that it is creepy and weird for a machine to control an apparently intelligent race so utterly that it can teach them how to kill without also teaching them what killing means, essentially turning them into mindless killing machines.

Like, Spock is up on his high horse about them becoming more human by learning how to kill and I guess technically that’s something they wouldn’t have learned but for the Enterprise interference but... it doesn’t come from them pulling away from the machine. It’s not that the machine spell is broken and the first thing they learn to do is kill. The machine taught them that FOR ITS OWN PURPOSES. Not even the murder is a choice.

“They exist to serve a machine.”

“They should have the opportunity of choice.”

I can’t believe Kirk can outright carry Spock. He’s gotta be heavy. (Also...injury 3?)

“Put them in the hut. They’re in time out.”

Poor Jim... feeling guilty again. "I had to follow orders...always orders." But he's a rebellious person who doesn't care about rules right???

Oh no, the aliens are escaping! “Get back in there. No. Back in there.” (That’s actual dialogue btw.)

I find it weird that they still have phaser power. Weren’t they diverting everything but life support?

Poor hungry Vaal.

Honestly, I do feel bad for them. This is a really sad situation in a lot of ways. Also, awkward. Like...not even going to explain kids to them? Just let them figure it out? That’s actually nighmarish in my opinion.

The ending is really awkward imo because the last bits of triumvirate dialogue usually do simplify the week’s adventure, which I get, but this one defies simplification, and so literally painting Spock as the villain for holding the opinion that didn’t win the day--especially when his metaphor is apt and Kirk IS the devil in it--seems very mean, not within the realm of casual friendly joking that they usually do.

Apparently Den of Geek compared this ep unfavorably to Return of the Archons, which I actually think is one of the weakest eps of S1 and not as good as The Apple. I think part of it is that the dialogue and adventure of The Apple is preferable to me, though I guess one could argue that Archons had a more evolved and interesting alien society, who were in a position to have opinions about their computer overlord. But it also had weird unexplained stuff like the purge or what-have-you, and my overall memory of the ep is that it didn’t really come together. One could argue The Apple doesn’t either, but in my opinion what it leaves open are more questions of world building than basic facts. Perhaps a splitting of hairs. Because the aliens in The Apple don’t (can’t) have opinions, I think the moral question is more complicated and defies a good solution.

Whether or not the Enterprise should have interfered with the Feeders of Vaal is a complicated question I think.

First of all, as it actually worked out, they had to in order to free themselves. But that makes me wonder...why were they there? Kirk is upset with himself in this ep for losing 3 officers and putting his ship in danger, more than interfering with the culture, but he IS upset with himself and I think it’s because his instincts were right, and he didn’t listen to them. The mission isn’t important. It isn’t worth everything that happened, to be honest.

So I’m uncertain about why Starfleet sent them on it. They’re not just there to look around an uninhabited planet or the uninhabited parts. They’re there to make contact with the people--which means they know there are people there! And like in one sense this isn’t weird, right, because the Enterprise’s mission is one of exploration--to make new friends for the Federation. But I feel like they should really only be seeking out relationships with aliens who are ready for them. You can’t beam down onto a planet of people who haven’t heard of space travel and NOT interfere with them. That’s interference! So you’d have to do some surveillance first. So either the Enterprise/Federation didn’t do that surveillance or they misjudged what they were seeing. 

Of course, a society can not itself have space travel and still be open to alien visitors (like the Organians). So maybe they determined the Feeders of Vaal were in this category. And then I would think the role of the Federation vessel would be to determine if their society is the kind that the Federation could establish some kind of diplomatic relationship with. In my opinion, if it hadn’t been for the danger to the Enterprise, the correct thing for the Enterprise to do would be to leave the Feeders of Vaal and report back that they aren’t a suitable race for the Federation to ally with in any way, because their values aren’t the Federation’s values: they don’t think independently. I don’t think it’s the place of the Federation to MAKE their values match but I do think it’s fair to judge others by your core values, because they’re CORE values for a reason.

In other words, I do think it’s fair for McCoy to judge the Feeders of Vaal harshly and to think it’s wrong in some objective sense for intelligent humanoids to live with no history, no love, no families, no purpose, no creativity, no innovation, and no independent thoughts. I mean that’s pretty awful in a lot of ways!! Again, I think the ease with which Vaal turns them into weapons is very chilling. Because they lack so many basic concepts, they’re extremely malleable. That’s gross.

But Spock is right too... They do have a society that works. Their planet is beautiful, they have enough to eat and drink, they’re peaceful, and they seem happy, to the extent that they can be happy. They can’t die, they’re in good health, and they’re protected from all natural dangers.

Also, the Enterprise really doesn’t know what their society used to be or how they ended up with this version of a society. So when they kill Vaal and undo all of that, they don’t really know what they’re returning the people too. I think it’s irresponsible to just say ‘you’ll figure it out.’ And it is arrogant, to assume it just will work out, and what they’ll build now will be better than what they had with Vaal. The culture has been pretty clearly decimated by Vaal and so perhaps none of them can even recall what it used to be like. (I think this is an open question.. they don’t know “kill” or “sex” or “love” or “children” but they can refer to a “dark time” so....do they remember the details of the dark time??) But generally speaking, people tend to be experts in themselves. And so perhaps no one is an expert because the information is just lost, but certainly in no case are Kirk and McCoy experts.

In other words, someone built Vaal for a reason. He’s a machine so he didn’t just come to be. So the question is who built him and why? It’s possible that it wasn’t this society at all. I mean, there could have been another society who built Vaal and then died, and then these people took over. But I think the more likely explanation is that they built Vaal themselves, or, possibly, their parents built Vaal for them as children. Given that Vaal seems to have a lot of power over the physical planet--the killer plants, the lightning from the sky--that McCoy mentions that the computer protects them from the harmful rays of the sun, and that the people specifically praise Vaal as being the one who gives them food and “provides” for them, I think their paradise of a planet, without the computer, was probably very harsh. Kirk says it’s not so hard to gather fruit and Spock points out the good qualities of the soil but what if these things really do COME FROM Vaal and now, without the computer, they go away?

I’m not sure how the people came to be so dependent on Vaal or to have lost so much of whatever advanced culture they must have once had to create a computer like this (again, assuming it was them...). Maybe they had to spend so much time “feeding” Vaal that they forgot everything else. Maybe Vaal realized on its own that it couldn’t support a population any bigger than this and so forbid sex and reproduction. Maybe the turning point was in the attachment of the antennae, when the computer ceased to serve the people but to be served by them. But my point is that I think the computer was not created to for the purpose of people serving it, so much as it was created for some other unknown purpose and the society the Enterprise encountered was an accidental unintended long-term consequence of its actual purpose. And I don’t find this hard to believe, given both the sketchiness of AI (it does not think like humans!!!!!! very scary!) and the general inevitability of unintended consequences.

I think this ep is pretty relevant to today specifically because its unanswerable core question--how does a freedom-loving society react to a society that choose not to be free? can it respect another’s choice not to have choices anymore?--is similar to a common question floating about now: can a tolerant society tolerate intolerance itself? (The answer to that is no, and I feel like it might be no to the first question too, when phrased that way...and yet the interventionist attitude of the Enterprise makes a lot of people, including me, uncomfortable!!)

Not having context for why the society chose this or became this way really makes it much harder to judge Kirk’s actions imo. Like I was thinking about how powerful our machines are now. What if we somehow evolved to mindlessly serve them, and then thousands of years on, aliens came in a space ship and freed us? Would that be morally wrong of the aliens? I don't think so. I wouldn't want that for my future self. But from the aliens' perspective, we chose that life and so maybe it's wrong to free us. Like I think Spock's pov is basically dependent on this being chosen BY them. But eve if it was...how long ago was it chosen? If they themselves can no longer remember or in any way identify with or even explain the original choice, does it still hold?

I think there are some indicators that this society isn’t satisfied being the Feeders of Vaal. Vaal tries very hard to keep outsiders out (the flowers, the lightning, etc.). But the people are curious. They follow the newcomers and spy on them. They’re friendly and welcoming. They see Chekov make out with his girlfriend for about 10 seconds before they start wanting to do it, too. They seem to do literally nothing but feed Vaal and occasionally dance (?). But they were once smart enough to build this whole machine (I assume). Maybe they ARE bored in stagnation.

I wonder if Spock’s defensiveness of this society comes in part from being a Vulcan serving with humans. McCoy thinks it’s just inherently wrong for humans to give up their autonomy in service to a machine, and he doesn’t ever think about why they might have done that. But he ALSO thinks it’s wrong or at least weird for Spock to live his life ruled by logic rather than emotion, and he rarely thinks about WHY Vulcans do that: because without logic, they’d be so violent they’d risk destroying themselves. Maybe that puts Spock in a better position to think about their REASONS for Vaal: because they value peace and prosperity and health more than autonomy and creativity and innovation, perhaps, or because without Vaal they would not be able to survive any more than he believes Vulcan could have survived without the Reformation.

Anyway that’s a lot of thoughts! I think I got everything. I’m very tired now and must rest. I’m in service to my own Vaal tomorrow.

Next up is The Doomsday Machine, which I have seen, but don’t remember at all.

Bond-age (Theo)

no whips WASSUP GUYS I’VE GOT ANOTHER PART THANKS TO THE LIL ANON WHO ASKED AND BECAUSE NEW THEO IS A DELIGHT. ofc this is a second installment so it’s not as good as the first, but what do you expect?

“Is that a nightlight?” Theo stares and you freeze, pausing in sifting through your clean clothes pile. Rolling your shoulders, you continue searching, though you’re more focused on him across the room than the clothes in your hands now.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal.”

“And you sleep with it on, every night?” He asks, still eyeing it and you groan a long sound.

“Yes, I hate the dark, jeez.” You snap, finally locating his shirt and pulling it from the pile. “Here’s your shirt.”

“Cool.” He smiles, taking the soft grey cloth from your fingers without looking at it. “I- Yeah, okay, thanks.”

“All good.” You nod, leaning back on your heels and glancing around. “So when are you-”

“I should go- Oh were you-?”

“Nah, nothing, okay. See ya.” You smile, waving him to the door and he nods, seemingly to himself, before exiting.

A soft tap hits your window and you jerk awake, the deep blue patterns of your nightlight decorating the walls. Carefully, you pad across the room, claws coming unsheathed on one hand.

“Whose there?” You hiss, stretching and curling your clawed hand. You’d never technically had to use them before. Your mom made sure the both of you were safe from fights and you’d missed out on most of the fights the pack were a part of. Scott tended to keep you hidden, more of a symbolic werewolf than a real one.

“It’s me, open up.” Theo demands and you can’t help snorting. That’s a joke. Last you remember he was chained up every night. So no. You’re not opening up to some shapeshifter freak.

Ha. Shapeshifter freak. Works both ways, even if it is really Theo and not some monster wearing his skin.

“Please leave so I don’t have to cut your skin off, Skin Stealer.” You hiss, twitching the curtains a little to see Theos face peering through your window. Hell, he’s so cute. You’ve got to resist. To save yours and Melissas lives.

“Seriously, Y/N? It’s me.” He snaps and you drop the curtain, crossing back to your bed and eyeing the fish patterns on your roof.

“Whale, whale, whale.” You whisper, snickering softly and curling up under your blanket. If you ignore the skin stealer, maybe it’ll go away and not murder you.

“Y/N!” It calls through the window and you squeak softly, despite yourself. Curling tighter, you duck under the blankets and breath loudly. Maybe it’ll drown out the sounds of whatevers out there.

A thud sounds and you hear the back door open, your body unclenching. Scotts home. Maybe he even killed the thing at your window. Wouldn’t that be nice. Your door snicks open softly and you peek out of the covers, expecting Scott to be glancing in on you with an affectionate goodnight.

Theo face monster.

Your lips part to scream and it leaps across the room, landing on you, it’s palm covering your mouth as the weight of it takes your breath away.

“Be quiet, it’s me.” Theo whispers, his lips brushing your ear and you inhale a panicked breath, only to relax and nearly melt into a puddle. No one smells quite as good as real Theo. His eyes meet yours for a long moment before he removes his hand, setting it on the bed beside your head.

“Sorry.” You whisper and he smiles, glancing toward your wall, only for his gaze to travel over your walls and roof.

“It’s so cool.” He marvels, gaping at the giant whale above your bed. You can’t help yourself from watching his expression avidly, the utter delight almost an aphrodisiac. His gaze returns to you and you force a bright smile and nod happily.

“Really cool. And sorry again that I didn’t let you in. I thought someone had stolen your skin.” You mumble and he laughs quietly, sliding off you and stretching across your blankets.

“I like this bed.” He observes, rising to his side and you nod, silently. How else can you respond? Theo, pretty Theo, is here in your bed. And he’s on his side staring down at you. When moments ago he was on you. And if he just flopped his arm out, it’d be across your waist. Then it’d be one of those moments, the really cute ones.

“Why’re you here?” You ask suddenly, the thought like ice water over your too hot body.

“To see your nightlight.” He shrugs, laying back with his head on your pillow, hair brushing yours. “I wanted to see it at night.”

“Didn’t think to just ask for a snap, say?” You hum and he chuckles softly, sliding his arm under your neck and pulling you close till your head rests on his shoulder.

“But then I couldn’t do this and feel fantastic that I’ve got an adorable girl all over me.” He teases, still watching the still patterns above and you chuckle. Idiot.

“Scott will get angry.”

“Let’s see him do it, I like your company enough to risk it.” He counters, turning and pressing his forehead to yours for a moment. Your breath rattles out softly as he pulls away and you shift, curling into his side tighter and letting your eyes fall closed.

“Don’t wake me when you leave.” You warn softly and he smirks audibly, kicking his shoes off and pushing himself under the blankets.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Scott snaps and you jerk awake, your palm resting on Theos chest as your eyes slowly focus on Scott in the doorway.

“What?” You croak blearily, rubbing your eyes with the hand that isn’t holding Theo down and blinking at the boy in the doorway.

“Theo. What is he doing here?” Scott snaps and you glance down at him, the ex-villain looking somehow more sleep rumpled than you. And sure, it’s cute, but it’s not cute too. Like Goldilocks porridge.

“I wanted to-”

“That’s my sister, dude. First you had to try and kill the town and now you’re gonna try and hook up with my sister too? Where does the betrayal end, man?” Scott groans, rubbing his face tiredly and you snicker, letting Theo sit up. Your body wavers a moment before you lean against your bedmate, your eyes falling shut.

“We didn’t hook up, Scotty. He wanted to see my nightlight and sleeping together makes bonds better. I’m ingratiating him.” You blather, waving your hand in circles and yawning widely. “He’s too pretty to date me- this isn’t an argument, and I’m too bad to be tied down.”

Theo laughs softly, the sound a little off, but Scott grins at the two of you.

“Sorry, kid, I forgot.” He laughs, eyeing you both with a keen interest and you wave your hands at him. Once he’s been shooed out, and your door is closed once more, you flop back against the sheets and groan.

“You leaving now or staying?” You ask, yawning again and tugging on the blanket.

“Stay?”

“Cool.” You murmur, pulling him back down beside you and half crawling onto him.

“How the hell did you slip them?” Liam shouts, shoving into your room and you can’t help hissing at him and dragging the blanket over yours and Theos heads.

“If we stay quiet he might leave.” You whisper to Theo, who’s smiling with his eyes closed.

“Maybe.” He agrees, his voice warm, sleepy and affectionate. Shuffling closer, you smile as his arms wrap around you and his face tucks against your neck.

“I can hear you.” Liam snaps from the doorway and you snort, squeaking as Theo nibbles on your neck. “Oh god.”

“I’ll return him once we’re awake.” You call through the blankets, scoffing at the disgusted noise Liam makes. The door shuts hard and you throw the blankets off your head, pulling away from Theo some. “That was a snake move, you- murder puppy!”

He laughs, his grip around your waist pulling you back toward him lightly.

“I won’t do it again,” He promises and you sigh, relaxing into his arms. “Unless you ask me to, of course.”

“Yeah, whatever.” You laugh, snuggling into his chest and closing your eyes, only for your phone to start ringing. “Dammit!”

“Ta-da! The murder puppy, rumpled, but still completely virtuous.” You beam, gesturing grandly to Theo beside you, who watches you with half a smile. Scott sighs, Liam scowling at the pair of you. That is, until he realizes what you’ve said.

“Wait- wait- He’s a virgin?” Liam snorts, staring at Theo with a deviously delighted expression and your eyes narrow. Theo doesn’t react, but you can’t help yourself.

“So am I, something funny about it?” You snap, moving forward half a step, only to pause as Theo gently touches your elbow.

“No but-”

“No buts, asshole. Some people are too busy living their lives to have sex.” You hiss, glaring at him dangerously as you flounce to Scotts side and throw yourself onto the couch beside him.

“You mean, too busy being raised to be evil by a group of nut case doctors?” Liam shoots you a scowl, but rises from the couch and jerks his head to the door for Theo to follow.

“He can stay.” Scott orders, not raising his head from where he’s staring at the carpet and you blink, the other two staring too. “Theo can stay here, for now.”

“Where?” Liam points out helpfully, reminding all of you of the limited space but you’re already beaming at Theo. Theo watches Scott fixedly, expression tight and you watch Liams face darken at the other boys reaction.

“Here.” Scott snaps, raising his head to meet Liams eyes with a quelling look. “He needs somewhere to stay, since he technically died.”

Theo stands stock still, not even moving his gaze between the two of them like you are and you push to your feet.

“Theo.” You call softly, glad when he looks up and crosses to your side. His silence makes you nervous, as if the moment means something to him.

“But-” Liam starts, his voice cut off my Scott.

“I can keep an eye on him. He’s staying.” Scott snaps, his gaze shifting from his beta to the omega at your side. “He’s not going to cause any trouble.”

“No.” Theo promises quietly and you beam at him, then at Scott.

“See?” Scott says to Liam, who watches the two of you with a sick fascination in his eyes. Nodding tightly, Liam pulls the front door open and disappears through it. You grin at the two boys, watching Theo relax some.

“You two are on probation. A wrong move from either and it’s over.” He warns and you gape, looking Theo over before retuning your gaze to Scott.

“But I’m good!” You whine, cringing when Scott laughs.

“Didn’t you just say a few hours ago that you’re “bad”?” He counters and you growl.

“Oh whatever, lets go, murder puppy.” You snap, pushing Theo toward the stairs and he bounds up them without looking back, the tension only leaving his shoulders after he crosses the threshold of your room. “Better?”

“Much.” He sighs, collapsing onto your bed and you nab your laptop from the desk and crawl onto the bed beside him. “Netflix and chill?”

“Downloaded and bonding.” You counter, laughing as he rolls his eyes and groans.

there we goo