#bc this is gonna be embarrassing in the morning
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this is def one of the best fandoms i’ve been in y’all r so funny and nice! and like i’ve never been the best with social queues or talking like a human being and especially not with interacting with other people but y’all r really nice about it y’all are great!
#bleh#just a silly post#bc i do really appreciate like#people being nice#in general#i’m sleep deprived#hm… i overuse exclamations#okay i’m#gonna try to go to ed#do people actually read tags#bc this is gonna be embarrassing in the morning
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and angel was so proud of himself for being able to carry mr-hollow-bones husk over here
based on the hc where husk died from falling, and that's why his demon form is an ironic mix between two animals that should not be taking fall damage
so yeah he's afraid of heights and that's why he doesn't fly
aftermath:
they'll be okay
#hazbin hotel#angel dust#husk#angelhusk#huskerdust#angel dusk you're too tall look at that you scared the kitty#i posted this to my new twitter account since when i checked this morning i was finally unshadowbanned#BUT THEN WHEN I CHECKED AGAIN AFTER I POSTED I WAS REBANNED??#i'm gonna punch muskrat in the face#i was kinda embarrassed to post this with how heavily headcanon this is but uh..#fuck cringe#i'm proud of this#also you know in episode 3 where vaggie is throwing the gang into the trenches and husk runs away?#i don't think that was just bc vaggie scared him#i think he was genuinely terrified of being thrown off a high place again#sun art
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly would’ve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, you’ve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didn’t go right for him. It’s why you’re so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.
He’s a clinger, you’ve also learned as you’ve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you can’t help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.
omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because he’s such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking you��ll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.
it belatedly shocks him when it’s the exact opposite. when he’s slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. he’s just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe it’s the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings he’s always suppressed.
drunk sex with Dabi where he’s the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesn’t do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before he’s flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.
#at first I wrote about him getting whisky dick and not even realizing it and being so embarrassed about it the next morning#but it made me laugh too hard and I was like#no one will enjoy that dude shut up AJSHDKDJDJD#but omg lightweight baby that can only cling to you and whine to go back to your room to fuck#only to pass out immediately on the bed lmfao#I love him I’m gonna str*ngle him so bad#anyway I finished all my work for the week and now I feel empty so I will be moving onto next weeks work tomorrow LOL NERD#but everything next week is simple too so why not get it out the way ya know????#after that I might sit down and actually write another fic since it’s been a little minute#everyone voted for therapist obsessed bkg next but I kinda wanna write something emotional for touya now lmfao#I’m becoming so obsessed with him and it HURTS!!!!!#I can only handle one ☝🏻 at a time or else I start getting the shakes#also omg my regular dr is making me go to the heart dr bc she said my anxiety worries her for my physical condition aksjdj embarrassing#okay bye I’m gonna read a little and sleep#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dabi treats! 🍬#tw: alchohol mention
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You know what for the first time thank fuck my parents are getting divorced im just gonna sleep in dad's bed cause he's not at home
#this is going to be embarrassing to explain tomorrow oh well#i just hope it doesn't fly inside my room but I probably will#it'll probs be nowhere to be seen in the morning and then tomorrow night EVERYONE'S#gonna have an awesome waking up bc im going to scream fucking murder if i see it in my room#ESPECIALLY if it starts to fly omg#bro if i get a nightmare here i think the amount of angsty fic cliche might kill us
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idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just
like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings
but like
I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.
like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.
#red said#the thing my therapist keeps pointing out is like. i got on this adulthood thing WAY too early#metaphorically i have Had To Go To Work In The Morning since i was like. 4. bc i am congenitally incapable of#Not Thinking About Consequences. and it's so important to be Good and Tough and Have It Together#but like. maybe if id done more crying and melting down when i DIDN'T Have To Go To Work In The Morning bc i was a Literal Infant#i might be a more balanced adult now that i actually DO. Have To Go To Work In The Morning.#what do people like. do. when they have to have feelings but also meet adult responsibilities? impossible. gotta choose.#i think it doesn't help that i already really struggle to work a full time job. like I'm already late basically every day bc i a night guy#so it's like. there's no give in this. maybe if i was back into a 3-4 day week? but idk if i can afford that#but also the work is only partly work. it's also like. having human relationships. eating. washing. being a person.#but idk. like. until i have some genuinely open-ended time i think I'm gonna always find it impossible to actually let go#i said in therapy it's like. like sadness specifically is like a thick muddy bog. and i can dip a foot in it#but bc i know i need to be able to keep moving#i can only stick a foot in and deal with a bit of it if I'm holding onto something. so in practise i can only cry#right before it becomes inappropriate to cry. so like. end of a therapy session. heading to a train station after seeing someone.#that kind of thing. it's a safety thing.#it would be much more effectively Dealing With to go dive into the bog and plough through it#but I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE and i have to like. come out all muddy and deal with that#and there's always somewhere i gotta be soon. i can't just jump into the mud. not cause I'll get hurt i just Don't Have Time#anyway. feelings. how do they work. embarrassed about having them. embarrassed about suppressing them. generally just embarrassed.
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so you're out here starting arguments, putting words in people's mouths, and then getting pissy when people disagree with you and you just give up and say "I'm not reading all that" when someone explains why they think you're wrong. Nice job, that's real mature. Also it’s not the same person fye. How do you even think he could be typing out that long response on his main blog while also typing out a long ask in your inbox at the same time? It doesn't make sense that he would be doing both at once.
homie it is 9am, go eat breakfast
#also the way this entire ask is incorrect 💀💀#didn’t start any arguments nor did i put words in anyone’s mouth#and i’m actually the furthest from pissy#i was straight up laughing abt it w friends#bc it was so embarrassing for this random person on the internet to try and excuse harrassing other people …#and all for content that you can — like i said before — scroll past and ignore#not to mention?? derailing my initial post?? which wasn’t about tagging to begin with#oh oh oh and i didn’t give up anything! i just made the easy decision that this petty nonsensical argument wasn’t worth my time#and finally! you very much can write the lemgth of rb he did in the handful of minutes after sending that ask!#everyone types at different speeds my friend <3#anyways i’m gonna go back to enjoying my morning! hopefully you’ll manage to do the same <3#USER ID: guest ..!#cas has mail !!
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tired of denying the fact that kenny loggins is extremely hot i don't care if yall judge me for it im not listening and will not be taking constructive criticism at this time
man is a whopping 6'4 ft tall, hairy as fuck and an insanely talented singer songwriter--- not to mention he's a genuinely good person that donates a ton of his money to charities and made not one but TWO children's albums about winnie the pooh
THEY DON'T MAKE MEN LIKE THAT NO MORE !!!!
yeah....no stfu none of u are allowed to disagree with me on this bc u all know im objectively right.....
i love u forever mr. loggins wishing you the best wherever u are
#im sleep deprived and unfiltered#this man is so fucking fine im soooooo tired of having to keep it to myself i had to scream into the void#bc like even when i try to say it i got ppl telling me “oh that's weird that you think that” and it's like no bitch????#like i KNOW we're not looking at the same man if ur saying all that....#i already love his music but i just saw this performance he did like in 1975 or something and ZOO WEE MAMA#whatever yall i don't give a fuck#rinnie's brainrot hour#kenny loggins#yall better enjoy this post when i get back#the way im gonna get embarrassed over this impulsive ass post in the morning wheeew but i still said what i said
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Very glad my brain doesn't always circulate spn knowledge like it used to. I'd be trying to have a nice conversation with someone and then remember something related to an episode and have to track down the episode in my mind for a throw away line and only think about that until I wrote something pertaining it. And it was usually Sastiel related. And if wasn't originally I made it into Sastiel. I actually do miss that part, turning mundane things into Sastiel posting. I should do that again.
#Rather than thinking about arms tonite by mother mother and thinking about Sastiel#Don't ask I don't know what my brain is brewing there#But yeah I miss those posts but appreciate the spn free mind majority of the time#It's like hey you're not completely isolated in your mind thinking about a show and nothing more#You're still depressed and traumatized but you're healing slightly#But like one episode can easily send you back so like be careful#Yeah sleep is necessary bc I'm being too honest about that and gonna regret that aren't I#Probably will be embarrassed in the morning#Oh well
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im so fucking embarrassed im going to have to hobble into work tomorrow and tell them i sprained my ankle tripping off a CURB and won't be in for a few days and it's going to ruin everything for both me and my coworkers i hate it here
#the only reason why they started hiring library pages is bc No One enjoys putting all the books away#cause the carts full of returned items get full so fucking fast and luckily im there to keep things moving and get items back on shelves#but if i cant do that then some of my coworkers are gonna have to take over till im better and im legitimately scared they're going to#hate me#I KNOW IT'S CHILDISH OKAY. but they used to have to shelve AND help patrons until i came around and the wont be happy about shelving again#plus tomorrow in the morning me and my coworkers are meeting with the library director to say hi and introduce ourselves and i was hoping#he would see how good of a job im doing and offer me more hours#but if im fucking hobbling in there like a pathetic freak???? WELL THAT DOESNT LOOK TOO GOOD DOES IT#GODDDDDD WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN IM MISERABLE OVER THE STATE OF THINGS RIGHT NOW#a sprained anke's really nothing severe but im just embarrassed and angry with myself for being careless and jeopardizing my job. whatever.#loquitur
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not 2 be a teenager but my parents are actually so embarrassing. they write their emails in font size Huge, my dad writes his in times new roman ?? they don't check their spelling or grammar and they write like
good evening
i would like a speak with you
when is a good time tomorrow to call
pleaseeeee just write one paragraph u both work in email intensive jobs i know u know how. and then my mom signs everything "respectfully,". which is just. awkward. she's my college guidance counselor not a rabbi. yikes
#also they just dont undesrtand how anything works & that's embarrassing too and rlly frustrating#i spoke to guidance counselor yesterday and made my final decision but then my dad said he watned to speak to her before i enroll#so i was like. ok email her and set up a meeting. and i even told my mom to email or make sure my dad does#then at 11pm before i go to sleep i check in and ofc neither of them emailed so my mom sent an email right then#and this morning i ask my dad what time his meeting is and he goes 'idk what time should i call her? when's she available?'#YOU DONT HAVE HER NUMBER YOU HAVE HER EMAIL HOW ARE YOU GONNA CALL HER. you need. to set up a fucking meeting u cant just call people i#idk why theyre like this like im sure they dont behave like this for work related things#my mom likes to say my dad is like this bc he's israeli but i feel like u could figure things out after living here for over 20 years and#me giving u seven reminders#ugh. ok. it's fine i dont care that i have to take care of everything and do it all on my own bc they never have a clue it's ok#nachi speaks
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my sunghoon playlist LOL
#a/#the only other kpop boy i have a playlist for is seungmin LOLLL#gonna delete this tmr morning im embarrassed.#i feel like some ppl might recognize the title bc i say it a lot randomly here but it means ‘i hope youre always happy’ in indo#semoga is hope/pray so it’s something like that
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i was supposed to get lots of shit done today and its now 11 and all i've done all day is play spider solitaire.
#i've missed the 45 minutes in the morning where i can actually be productive#ok but i called my manager and told her all the shit that's going on w me and she was super nice about it#and i made plans to hang out with my brother on friday bc he's visiting our nana#so i have done SOME stuff#but i haven't written a word#i'll get to it i promise#jorj rambles#(its not like i have completed wips in my drafts or anything)#(that's a lie i do i have multiple completed wips in my drafts but im procrastinating posting them bc what if being shadowbanned was just#an excuse and nobody likes my writing and its gonna get no notes and im gonna be embarrassed for trying)#anyways
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its 11. ive slept for less than 5 hours (my fault for sleeping after 6am, i know). my mom has people over and they are not even trying to not be extremely loud. i woke up, im hungry, i want to get up. i dont want to interact with said people (cause its people and im tireddddd). i feel like i might start crying.
#i know that 11 is not very early in the morning and that if id gone to sleep a normal time i would have slept more#but all im asking is for them to speak at a normal volume#and they are sitting in the kitchen so even if i get up ill get too nervous to eat breakfast cause i always get embarrassed when eating#breakfast in front of people who are over for coffee or whatever (i seriously dont know why)#also i know that in a few hours im gonna have a headache and start feeling sick bc i have slept less than 6-7 hours and that happens when i#sleep less than that#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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another meds update:
I can't tell if the pills are working or not, or if its just a placebo, but I've gotten a lot more art done recently than I have in previous months. (which isnt a lot, but better than the absolute nothing I was doing before)
but I decided I'm gonna take a break from them. I have a lot of unprocessed trauma, and I constantly have daily panic attacks, my body is always shaking with stress, and I also have manic episodes, and I feel taking new medication right now is adding to my stress levels, and I really dont need that.
I'll probably pick them up later this year, or whenever the fuck my heart decides to slow the fuck down and chill out. my doctor agreed to this and said that was totally fine—so im really happy i have this option.
so like basically im saying my productivity levels can get fucked for now until I learn to deal with the infected, gushing wound that is my trauma lmao
#i literally wake up every morning now to a panic attack which is like..... super cool LMAO#but im also a hypochondriac so being on new pills im like 'my heads gonna implode my heart is failing my bones are going to collapse' etc#bc i spend an embarrassing amount of time looking up worse case scenario symptoms and then start to panic
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i hate the food situation at my house so much for the love of god. theres only so many times a man can eat ramen with nothing or tuna with nothing
#theres no fucking. ingredients. theres nothing to add. i used to walk around my kitchen trying to look up stuff to make with what we had but#it required like. an onion. an egg. a spice. a vegetable. and we dont have that#and something about me. idk what it is idk if its me or my dads fault but i cant ask for it. i cant. i think part of it is bc i need the#ingredient for my one thing and then. it goes bad and its my fault and i feel bad#i hate my food situation so much. my dad makes this food in the microwave that he knows i dont like or eat. but if i make something else he#gets offended like thats not fair#and i feel bad for complaining bc i should just get a job and buy my own food but im not gonna do that bc im not gonna get a job.#i have trust fund money. like a decent amount from when i was hit buy a car#i should move out of state like right now. and live off that and when it runs out. ill just lay in the street i guess. i hate my life so#much guys its not funny. idk what to do. theres no fixing this theres nothing i want to do and nobody can help me bc theres no solution#everyone ignores it bc theres no solution to my problem. im never gonna be happy. its never gonna be worth it#nobody wants to tell me thats life suck it up or die bc they know id rather die by a mile. im so embarrassed of my stupid life im such a#failure. i want to kill myself bc i dont want to work like how pathetic is that. thats so stupid. i dont really say it to my parents bc they#would just laugh at me. or yell at me. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do. i find myself hoping i get in a car accident and die#anytime i go out. i hope i dont wake up in the morning. i hope something bad happens and its not my fault so i dont get the blame i just get#the benifit of not having to do this anymore#god thats so. dark. its how i feel.#its getting to the point where i dont feel like i should say im not gonna kill myself at the end of these. im still not yet. but it feels#like a yet situation. like its gonna get to the point where i start trying again.#im still not there yet though. please dont… well idk what happens so suicidal adults. call the police on me. my methods arent any more#refined than they were when i was 14 trying to drink. nail polish.#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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