#awesomewweus | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zabiume · 3 years

Note

I love your character interactions! I ,especially, love the Renji chapters

Could you do one Ichigo acts as a wingman for Renji? Seeing as they spent most of their years battling or being part of their respective squad, I'd like to think their social skills are not on the great side

We need more Renji hijinks!

Ichigo is Bad at love lives in general, both his own and that of others, so I improvised a little and took the crack-ish route with this. Hope you enjoy!

“You’re so cute.” Ichigo pinched Chad’s cheek, leaving the latter rather flustered and questioning the exact sequence of moments that led them all here. Here, being the back alley of the Second Division barracks, but also the general life circumstances that had just happened in the last 72 hours.

“Oh dear.” Orihime fanned her face, rocking from foot to foot as she tried to make eye contact with Chad over Ichigo’s unruly hair. No avail.

“Don’t worry, Inoue, I think you’re real cute, too,” Ichigo declared, swaying heavily from where was tucked into Chad’s side and drawing closer to her in big, bumbling steps. His hands arched forward in a grabby motion, like he was searching for her head. “C’mere.”

Orihime squeaked with a jump, swatting his hand away and shooting Chad a helpless stare. Chad returned it with a shrug, watching Ichigo’s every move with all the bewildered posturing of Frankenstein upon creating his own monster. Horror. Awe. Regret. Orihime read it clear as day in his eyes because she was sure they were all reflected in her own.

“Kurosaki-kun.” She valiantly tried to duck out of the headlock hug Ichigo was trying to pull her into. “Please. You’ll regret this in the morning--oh, Sado-kun, help!”

Chad rushed forward and grabbed Ichigo’s arm before he could haul her up in the air in one graceless swoop. “Ichigo, she’s right.” Chad yanked him with minimum effort, despite his murmured protests. Orihime stumbled backwards with a grateful wheeze, going pink in the face as she held one thumb up to indicate she was relatively okay.

Given the circumstances.

“The only thing I’ll regret in the morning is not telling my friends how much I love them!” Ichigo roared, thrashing helplessly in Chad’s arms. He paused briefly when his eyes caught a shadow of movement, a lone shinigami passing them by as he made his way to the Second’s offices. “Oi! You!” The shinigami arched a brow. Surely he was wondering what the savior of three worlds was doing by the Second Division, restrained by his ryoka comrades. “You--shinigami dude.” He jerked his thumb back to Chad and Orihime. “These are my friends. Tell 'em I love 'em, they don’t seem to get it.”

“Oh god,” Orihime whispered, making placating and equally floundering gestures as she indicated for the shinigami to keep walking and not pay any attention to Ichigo. Chad gave an apologetic smile, but didn’t loosen his iron-clad grip on Ichigo’s shoulders either.

This was going to be a long, long night.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The thing was, the Second Division of the Gotei 13, also dubbed affectionately by some as the Onmitsukido, was taking the aid of one Urahara Kisuke in developing the perfect truth serum for witness interrogation purposes. It had very much been a joint effort from the beginning, he would attest humbly, but the truth of the matter was that the Twelfth Division had the spottiest record for ethical research practices and no one could answer for how that truth serum had ended up in the hands of one substitute shinigami, Kurosaki Ichigo. And if there was anyone who had a spottier record on giving in to base and curious impulses more than Division 12, it was, indeed, the hailed savior of three worlds--

-- or so the Seireitei Communication would report, a good thirteen hours after the entire fiasco had simmered down.

Luckily or unluckily for everyone else involved, the night was still young.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Kuchiki Rukia felt the low buzz of her spirit phone, mid-conversation with her brother and his lieutenant by the Sixth Division barracks. She fished it out of her robes and frowned, knowing full well Inoue would not text her an SOS unless there was an emergency of world-ending proportions or if the latest chapter in the shoujo they were co-reading had come out.

We tried to stop him, it read instead, followed by an, I’m so sorry, Kuchiki-san :(((

“Sorry?” Rukia mumbled, impervious to Renji and Byakuya’s confused glances in her direction. “Sorry about what?”

Stop whom?

Her answer came in the form of a sudden, but incredible burst of blurred energy whirring past her senses and leaving several afterimages after it came to a halt. Rukia remained lax, already having sensed Ichigo’s reiatsu--not to mention his obscenely orange hair that defeated the stealthy purpose of shunpo in the first place--but Byakuya’s hand came to rest warily on the hilt of his zanpakuto, mouth downturned in displeasure that Ichigo had pulled a Yoruichi on them and shown up full speed ahead when they were least expecting him.

“Kurosaki,” he intoned, which really meant, ‘what is the meaning of this?’

“Hey Ichigo,” Renji greeted, not deterred in the slightest. None of the trio had noticed anything off about him just yet--not the way his pupils were exceptionally large, nor the way he walked like he had the world’s heaviest weights balancing on his shoulders. Ichigo was a teenager after all, and teenagers, well-- they slouched.

“Renji!” Ichigo cheered, shoving his face right into where the crook of Renji’s face met his shoulder. “Been lookin’ for you and Rukia all over.” He cracked one eye open, still awkwardly snuggled into Renji’s side as he observed Byakuya. “Not you, though.”

Byakuya’s shoulders hunched and Rukia would have rolled her eyes at his callous attitude--except he was acting rather weird, cuddling up to Renji like that. Renji himself took Ichigo’s gestures amicably, patting him on the back with one hand and exchanging a confused, but happy grin with Rukia.

“Good to see you, bud,” Renji replied after a moment too long’s worth of a hug, like he was speaking to someone particularly slow. He gingerly peeled Ichigo off his shoulders, however, because Byakuya was giving him the ‘improper body language on the divison premises’ glare and Renji did not want to get demoted on the grounds that Ichigo was having a touch-starved day. “What can we do for ya?”

“Ichigo, what are you doing here?” Rukia demanded, pinching his elbow lightly when his eyes flickered after a meandering grasshopper. Was he drunk? She sniffed his breath but couldn’t discern anything. Was this what Inoue was trying to warn him about? Because Inoue was definitely trying to warn her about...whatever this was.

“You two,” Ichigo said suddenly, making all three of them flinch as he pointed to Renji and Rukia. “I’ve got a serious bone to pick with you two, but especially you, Rukia.” Rukia was about to open her mouth and tell Ichigo where exactly he could put his bone, but Byakuya spoke up first after a long moment’s silence.

“If it is combat practice you accosted my sister about, I will have to remind you that she is far too busy to accommodate your childish whims and needs.” He leveled his gaze with an irate Ichigo who couldn’t give less of a shit about him. “Though it might make for interesting observation how you would tackle her graceful bankai with your own bullheadedness, you will have to stop by after hours. Unlike regular humans, we have work to do.”

“Combat practice?” Ichigo echoed, making a disgusted face. “What are you, stoned?” Byakuya’s face turned scary shades of white, while Renji visibly flinched behind him. “I’m here because I’m sick of the way you two have been dancin’ around each other but being too damn stupid to get together already, damn it!”

Renji wanted the floor to bury him alive. His ears were so red in blatant shock, he didn’t dare look at Byakuya, choosing to look at the floor instead. He’d never explicitly told Ichigo it was a secret, but never in his life had he fathomed...this. This was it. This was the day Byakuya would senbonzakura his ass out of here and he could kiss his dreams of making a methodical and proper proposal goodbye. Even if he could pass it off as a joke later, Byakuya would not take this slight to his professionalism right under his nose so easily without consequences.

Rukia, on the other hand, was pissed.

“Just what do you think of yourself, Ichigo, coming here and saying sh--things like that!” Rukia yanked Ichigo by the collar until he was down to her level. If Renji had been looking anywhere but at his sandals, he would have noticed her ears reddening too, but he was too busy marveling at the shrill anger in her voice to notice it. “What’s wrong with you?!”

“What’s wrong with me?” Ichigo demanded, shoving Rukia off and coming around to stand beside Renji. “What’s wrong with you?” He lifted one arm, a firm hand clenching around Renji’s bicep back and forth. “I mean, are you blind?”

“Ichigo,” Renji warned, though it came out more as a squeak.

“This guy nearly dragged his ass through the dirt for forty years. He’s got a job. Do you know how hard it is to get a job?” Ichigo let his arm drop but prodded one finger on Renji’s left eyebrow. “He does his eyebrows. He’s 6′2--”

“Kurosaki Ichigo,” Byakuya warned, slightly affronted at the mention of Renji’s height, but Ichigo was on a full-fledged soapbox roll now.

“-- And he loves you, Rukia!” he yelled, shaking a fist impatiently. “He looks at you like you hung the moon and stars; hell, he looks at you like you are the moon and stars.” He clapped a very mortified Renji’s shoulders with--what he probably thought--were encouraging thumps. He looked all for the world like a car salesman trying to make a busted sell out of a very old Honda. Renji looked like he wanted to die, but Ichigo went on, “I think you know he loves you, Rukia, and I think you love him too. The only problem is that you’re both too stupid to accept it! Going on, this an’ that about how I’m the reason you’re back together and you owe me your first born kid--well that’s great and all but it means horseshit if you’re gonna keep dancing around like this all the time! Isn’t it about damn time you made your feelings clear?”

There was a very pronounced silence in the air. Byakuya cleared his throat uncomfortably. Rukia looked like a solid mix between wanting to murder Ichigo and wanting somebody to murder her. Renji had backed himself into the shadows and begun planning his quickest escape route because he did not want to be here. Ichigo stared.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” he whispered, rubbing the back of his neck. “I feel like I’m going crazy.”

Byakuya opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes widened when he spotted the telltale brown of a staff coming out to whack Ichigo on the back of his head. Ichigo’s eyes glazed over and he slumped forward, almost crashing to the floor if it hadn’t been for Rukia and Renji catching his weight from either side.

“Yoo-hoo,” Urahara sang casually, lifting one hand sheepishly against his hat. “I’ve come to pick up a very important package. If you good folks could just hand him over, that would be great for all parties involved, thank you.”

The silence was considerably stilted, now that Ichigo had passed out, but Renji and Rukia were still quite in shock.

“Abarai, Rukia,” Byakuya said, primly locking his hands ahead of him and giving Ichigo’s knocked-out figure a nod. “You will want to see him off, correct?”

“Y-yes, sir!” they both chorused, drawing closer together even as they balanced Ichigo between them. Urahara hummed to himself, locking his own arms behind him.

“Then get going,” Byakuya ordered, eyebrow twitching in annoyance at Urahara. “I have conveniently pressing matters to tend to for the rest of the afternoon.”

Rukia and Renji shared a look. “Yes, sir!” They took off behind Urahara, feeling lines of sweat race past both their faces as they didn’t dare once look behind them.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“So, uh,” Renji said, later that evening, over a glass of beer. “About that whole Ichigo thing...”

“I know Renji,” Rukia said quickly, ears flaring red, before her eyes softened and she tacked on a quiet, “I do, too.”

“Oh.” Renji coughed. “Good. That’s, uh--that’s good.”

Rukia’s eyes narrowed at him. “You were going to deny it, weren’t you?”

“Maybe,” Renji said, then admitted sheepishly, “Only if you were. I was gonna put the whole thing behind us, if we’re being totally honest.”

Rukia tossed a tissue at him. “Shut up,” she muttered, but neither of them held back their shit-eating grins as their hands warmly reached for each other under the table.

Renji squeezed once. Rukia squeezed back, and both of them made mental promises to beat the living shit out of Ichigo when he came to, later

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“Urrrrrrgh, I feel like shit,” Ichigo grumbled, pressing the heel of his hand against his forehead. “Did I come see you and Renji yesterday?”

“You did,” Rukia said shortly, dabbing at his forehead with a wet cloth. “Lay still, Urahara said you’d come down with side-effects if you aren’t being careful.”

Ichigo winced. “He drugged me, didn’t he?”

Rukia stared at him, wondering if he really didn’t remember the events of yesterday at all. “Yeah,” she grumbled, jabbing him extra hard on his eyebrow. “You sure spouted a lot of shit on that truth serum.”

Ichigo’s eyes widened for a second, fully considering the weight of Rukia’s words. She looked away, feeling a swarm of heat flushing up her face.

“I asked you to confess to Renji, didn’t I?” he said slowly, and Rukia’s quick inhale was about telltale as anything that he’d hit the mark. “Was I right? Did you two do it?”

“Shut up, Ichigo,” Rukia said with a long sigh, tossing aside the rag and beginning to storm out of one of the many rooms in the shoten.

“I totally am!” he called out after her, a wide and shit-eating grin on his face, “You two so owe me one.” Rukia was about to slam the door behind her when she heard him quietly mutter, “God, Inoue owes me so much cash, too.”

She swung back into the room immediately. “You bet on this?!”

The shoten door slammed closed. If anyone heard Ichigo screaming for help after, they didn’t mention it.

sorry for the short ending. thank you for the prompt!

#renruki #awesomewweus #ichiruki brotp #myfic #ichigo on the truth serum is just: i love my friends and i want them to be happy #Zabiume's Birthday Round-Up

27 notes · View notes