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panthera-tigris-venenata · 2 years

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Audrey babysitting CJ! (They are bonding!)

Canon ages are a suggestion!

And yeah, it’s a bit wonky, but I don’t have energy, to, like, edit. Or finish this, probably.

Honestly, Audrey didn’t know why she agreed to this. Sure, there were reasons, well, at least one: Anthony Tremaine, who has become something like her friend in the months after the fall of the Barrier, wanted to take his girlfriend on a date to some fancy restaurant, and she absolutely refused to go until her little sister got appropriate supervision.

That much on how Audrey Rose, the princess of Auroria and Ulstred and the former Queen of Mean, ended up babysitting the menace that is CJ Hook.

The things she does for her friends, the sacrifices…

She takes a deep breath and rings the bell on Anthony’s apartment. (Harriet stays on her ship, and CJ stays wherever she wants. As Audrey said, she is a menace.)

The door opens, and the delightful sound of Hook sisters arguing with each other floods her ears; she does her uttermost best to keep her face expressionless.

„Sorry about that,“ says Anthony instead of a greeting, „Harriet says you have her permission to spell the little scallywag unconscious if she causes too many problems. Oh, and you can come in for now, this is probably gonna take a while.“

„But I NEED those, Harriet! What if someone attacks us?!“

„You don’t NEED a collection of throwing knives, a garotte, forty metres of rope AND a gas mask!“

„I’m not giving up my garotte!“

„…You hid another one in your ponytail, didn’t you.“

Gods, he has it hard.

Audrey enters the apartment and sits down on the sofa with Anthony.

„Excited for your date?“ she asks, not thinking about how she will survive his date and with no fear for her life whatsoever.

„Very,“ smiles Anthony softy, making heart eyes towards the general area of the continuous screams.

Good for him.

She leaves the flat a few minutes later with a bar of dark chocolate (for her nerves), phone with Harriet, the police, and the firefighters on speed dial, and one annoyed little pirate in tow. (She was forced to abandon the collection of throwing knives and the gas mask. And the second garotte.)

„Uh. Don’t you mean don’t steal from anybody?“

„Do you remember the ground rules?“ she asks. Anthony assured her that he and Harriet covered them several times and CJ looked like she was paying attention.

„Of course!“ she answers, rolling back her eyes, „Do not kill anybody, murder, accident, or othervise. No arson, no hostage taking, no running away. Cross the street on green light, say please and thank you. Do not steal from you.“

„No,“ CJ grins and holds up a bracelet she didn’t have a moment ago, her eyes full of mischievous victory. This is gonna be a LONG evening.

Absolutely not.

…Also, are they gonna return the bracelet? Somehow?

Yeah, no, probably no. That doesn’t sound like a one-evening babysitter problem.

She just has to put up some movies, get dinner, and make sure her charge doesn’t bolt and/or murder anyone.

You know, no pressure.

„Okay,“ Audrey takes a deep breath, „That works. Now go along, we’re going to my place. It‘s not far.“

„Wait,“ protests CJ, „We’re, like, actually going? Like, walking? You don’t have a fancy pink limousine driving you everywhere? With a personal driver and lots of sweets or a smoothie bar or something? Or a personal helicopter? A chariot, at the very least?“

„Helicopters are bad for the environment and walking is the best cardio.“

„Ugh. I hate Auradon. You guys have cars and fuel and like actual roads and you don‘t even use them!“

Audrey decides to not point out that there is, in fact, a good number of vehicles driving around, and instead chooses to remind CJ to not run into the traffic. Just to be sure.

Which, surprisingly, causes CJ to pout and stay silent for the rest of the way. Audrey is sure that must be a new record for her.

Unfortunately, the blissful silence breaks as soon as they get to Audrey‘s.

Good things never last.

At least for Audrey.

She kind of hopes Anthony’s date is going alright: He has been speaking of it for quite some time. He might or might not have asked her for help with the planning and choosing the perfect spot. They spent one afternoon with a language of flowers dictionary, laughing over insult-bouquets and drinking wine. (She totally sent one of those to Mal.)

„So! What are we doing today?“ asks CJ, „Plotting a hostile takeover? A revolution? Revolutions are cool! Oh! We could go to the Zoo and kidnap some animals, like crocodiles, crocodiles are awesome for getting rid of dead bodies! And you do get those with a revolution!“

Audrey stares at her in shock.

„No, no. You are right. Crocodiles aren’t really your thing, are they? How about something more elegant? A pride of lionesses? A pack of wolves? Wolves are, like, totally an Ulstred thing, right?“

„…I’m fairly sure the national animal of Ulstred is a bear.“

…Why did Audrey agree to this again?

„Cool!“ CJ’s eyes are starting to shine with unearthly light.

„I want a bear! We’re gonna kidnap a bear!“

„Yeah, maybe another time. I was thinking we could just watch some movies today.“

And she needs to ask Harriet to broaden CJ’s ground rules a good deal.

„Sure,“ she says and collapses down on the couch next to her, putting up the selection of movies, „No horror ones though.“

CJ deflates at that and Audrey definitely doesn’t feel even the tiniest pang of regret at ruing the Isle girl‘s fun as she nudges her along inside and reminds her to take off her boots. She then places them into a neat row with the other ones.

She follows into the living room and finds CJ already sitting cross legged on the couch.

„Can I pick the movie then?“

„Please,“ Audrey chuckles, „You are talking with the Queen of Mean: I wreaked havoc on all of Auradon, making their darkest nightmares come true. I could take a simple horror movie any time. I just don’t want to give you any more ideas.“

„Yay!”

CJ reaches out for the remote control.

„Are you scared, princess?“

A fair choice, all in all.

CJ stares at her slack-jawed.

„You are just like my sister,“ she declares, a slight echo of awe in her voice, and then proceeds to put on Grease.

„Do you want to keep watching, or do you want to do something else?“ Audrey asks.

The opening song passes in peace, which is… Suspicious.

She glances over at CJ and finds her drawing with a pen on her tight. She’s not sure where she got the pen. And the fact that CJ can draw an anatomically accurate human skull is a tiny bit concerning. Only a tiny bit, though.

CJ waves her hand dismissively, stating that the movie is fine, they can keep watching, and continues sketching on her skin.

„You know, I could give you a paper if you want to draw.“

„No, no! I’m tattooing myself! With a temporary tattoo, because Harriet said I can’t have a real one until I’m at least twenty.“

„She does have a point.“

„Which is totally unfair, because she AND Harry totally both have tattoos, and Harry absolutely isn’t twenty yet!“

„Well, he IS a first mate of his own crew. That is bound to come with some privileges, right?“

CJ pouts at her, which Audrey interprets to mean „You are right, but I don’t wanna say it,“ and Audrey briefly thinks that Harry Hook would do absolutely anything if Uma asked, tattoo being the smallest thing. She’d love to know where the pirate Captains keep finding boys like this.

She turns her attention back to the musical.

It takes about five minutes before she feels CJ’s intense stare at her.

„What do you want, little bird?“ she asks.

„I’m done with my tattoo!“

„Okay…?“

Audrey isn’t sure she likes the direction this conversation is going.

The pen passing over her skin tickles, and when she tries to take a look at the emerging picture, CJ hisses at her. No need to fuss, really.

„Can I do yours next?” CJ makes a tiny pause and glances up above her shoulder briefly, before brightening up, „Please?“

Audrey can’t really refuse her puppy eyes, and besides, she did say please. With a sight, she extends her wrist and resigns herself to a freakishly accurate skeleton tattoo. Too bad she can’t reach the chocolate like that.

Audrey would appreciate a drink right now.

But watching musicals and pointedly not looking at her forearm it is.

The little but strong hand holding her wrist in place disappears and CJ brightly announces that she is done: Swallowing any nervosity, Audrey looks at her new tattoo.

Minutes pass, stuff on screen happens, and Audrey's mind wanders. After she finds herself going into a tangent about Auradon's entertainment industry and censorship, she forces her mind blank. Auradon's problems aren't synonymous with her problems anymore, and maybe never were.

Contrary to what her grandmother may believe.

It's… surprisingly pretty. A compass rose, surrounded by something Audrey can't identify yet. Intricate, delicate but sharp and strong. And it contains no bones or skeletons whatsoever. Audrey likes it.

„That's roses,“ states CJ.

She listens as CJ explains what she drew:

„A compass is something every sailor must have: it shows us where our purpose is, it shows us a way. Where does your compass point, princess?“

Audrey looks away from CJ's eyes that really have no business being as bright as they are and asks what about the stuff around it?

Because she does have a purpose, of course she has-

She always had one, hadn't she?

„…It's just the stems and the thorns, isn't it?“

Oh. Roses. Pretty. A nice flower for an Auradonian princess. No skull or staff for Queen of Mean. Not that Audrey misses her Queen of Mean phrase. Any part of it, absolutely not.

Except Audrey sees no blooms…?

„Why, but of course!“ exclaims the pirate, standing up to her feet. Still on the sofa. Sure.

„Beauty ain't everything, my Queen of Mean, and you deserve to celebrate your prickly side!“

She makes a dramatic bow and the end of what must be the garotte swings in front of her face.

Prickly side, of course.

Then again, what does Audrey care for Auradon's society?

A small smile tugs at Audrey's lips before she vipes it aways.

Auradon doesn't care for prickly and sharp, much less for evil queens and princesses that make their own ways.

„Do you like it?“ CJ bounces up and down.

Maybe she should get this tattoo for real. It's not like anyone could stop her, and she'd love to see everyone's shocked faces.

She could ask Anthony if he has any contacts.

„Do not jump on my sofa,“ replies Audrey automatically, „And it's… It's certainly passable, I suppose.“

…And CJ starts jumping on the couch again. Great. At least she didn't climb on the chandelier yet.

The pirate falls down with a huff and makes eyes at her. Audrey just wanted to nag her a little, but she cracks:

„Just kidding. I think it's pretty wicked.“

„Sit down, Calista.“

„Or what?“ asks CJ, still standing and genuinely curious.

„Or you won't get any dinner AND I'll tell Harriet you tried to run away.“

Not the most imaginative threat Audrey could come up with, but effective nonetheless. She knows that her older sister is the only authority CJ somehow respects, at least when she feels like it. Besides, she is scary. Probably scarier that anything Audrey could say.

CJ falls down.

„What's for dinner?“ she asks.

#They are having pizza for dinner #CJ never had pizza #Audrey proceeds to order it so that each quarter of pizza has different flavour #Audrey is then like: Why am I emotionally atached to this tiny menace??#And proceeds to adopt said tiny menace because fuck society #disney descendants #Audrey Rose #CJ Hook #Harriet Hook #Anthony Tremaine #story

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