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unforth · 1 month

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Danmei and Baihe C Novels and Manhua Officially Licensed in English

Things are getting licensed fast enough that keeping a list like this up-to-date is basically impossible, but I saw someone asking in the tags so I figured I'd try. All titles are danmei unless otherwise noted (very little baihe is licensed so far). I've included Chinese titles and linked novelupdates for each title when I was able to find them, but sometimes publishers change the original titles so much that I can't track them down, apologies.

Basically: this is everything I know of as of April 12, 2024. There might be more. I tried.

For the latest danmei news, Danmeinews.com is a great resources.

Note that some of this information was sourced from this Carrd, last updated in March 2023.

Seven Seas:

The full list of danmei novels licensed by Seven Seas is here. The full list of danmei manhua licensed by Seven Seas is here.

These titles are in various stages of publication, from "entire series released" to "license literally announced less than a week ago." As far as I know, all Seven Seas titles are available world-wide, through major distributors and libraries, and in e-book and print formats.

Mo Xiang Tong Xiu titles:

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong).

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Mo Dao Zu Shi)

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Mo Dao Zu Shi) manhua

Heaven Official's Blessing (Tian Guan Ci Fu)

Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat titles:

Case File Compendium (Bing an Ben)

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (Erha he Ta de Bai Mao Shizun)

Remnants of Filth (Yuwu)

Meng Xi Shi titles:

Thousand Autumns (Qian Qiu)

Peerless (Wushuang)

priest titles:

Guardian (Zhenhun)

Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang)

Other titles:

Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiuqing

I Ship My Rival x Me (Wo Kele Duijia x Wo de CP) manhua by PEPA

Run Wild (Saye) by Wu Zhe

The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish (Canji Baojun de Zhangxin Yu Chong) by Xue Shan Fei Hu

You've Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post (Fei Ge Jiao You Xu Jin Shen) by Blackegg

Rosmei:

Rosmei licenses are Singapore distribution rights only. There is a list of international partners organizing group orders here. I've personally placed my orders through Yiggybean, as discussed in reply to this ask.

These titles are only being released as print editions.

Eta: titles that weren't originally on JJWXC (of which there are several here) WILL have e-book editions.

Ning Yuan titles:

BAIHE: At the World's Mercy by Ning Yuan

BAIHE (I think???) The Creator's Grace by Ning Yuan

priest titles:

Coins of Destiny (Liu Yao)

The Defectives (Can Ci Pin)

Drowning Sorrows in Raging Fire (Lie Huo Jiao Chou)

Other titles:

Albert from Earth by Jie Mo Jun

The Bat (Bian Fu) by Feng Nong

Breaking Through the Clouds (Po Yun) by Huai Shang

Don't You Like Me (Ni Shi Bushi Xihuan Wo) by Lv Tian Yi

The Earth is Online (Diqiu Shangxian) by Mo Chen Huan

Everyone Loves the Cannon Fodder (Chuan Cheng Wan Ren Mi de Paohui Zhuma) by Qie Zai Shan Yang

Global Examination (Qianqiu Gao Kao) by Mu Su Li

Gold Class Enforcers (Jinpai Dashou) by Pao Pao Xue Er

How to Survive as a Villain (Chuanyue Cheng Fanpai Yao Ruhe Huming) by Yi Yi Yi Yi

Kaleidoscope of Death (Siwang Wanhuatong) by Xi Zi Xu

The Killer of Killers (Sha Qing) by Wu Yi

Nan Chan by Tang Jiuqing

Obsessed (Ki Ma) by Wu Chen Shui

Wine and Gun (Jiu yu Qiang) by Mengye Mengye

Wow, You Guys are Really Good at Gaming (Nimen Nansheng Da Youxi Hao Lihai O~) by Yi Xiu Luo

Peach Flower House:

Peach Flower House titles are primarily for sale through their website and through some distributors, such as Amazon.com. Whether titles are e-book only, print only, or both varies by title.

Da Feng Gua Guo:

The Imperial Uncle (Huang Shu)

Peach Blossom Debt (Taohua Zhai)

Other Titles:

Golden Terrace (Huang Jin Tai) by Cang Wu Bin Bai

In the Dark (Zai Hei An Zhong) by Jin Shisi Chai

Little Mushroom (Xiao Mogu) by Shisi

University of the Underworld by Ziloi

Via Lactea:

The full list of danmei novels licensed by Via Lactea is here.

Via Lactea titles are primarily for sale through their website and through some distributors, such as Amazon.com. All titles are either print-only or e-book + print. Only a handful have actually been released, the rest are licensed and presumably in progress.

Jing Shui Bian titles:

Salad Days (Jing Jiu)

Silent Hearts (Mo Mai)

Other Titles:

Dawning (Liming Zhihou) by ICE

Euthanasia by Feng Su Jun

Falling (Luo Chi) by Yu Cheng

Psycho (Feng Zi) by Xiao Yao Zi

Limerence (Wo Xichen Ni Nan Pengyou Henjiule) by Jiang Zi Bei

Lip and Sword (Chun Qiang) by Jin Shisi Chai

The Missing Piece (Maoheshenli) by Kun Yi Wei Lou

Raising Myself in 2006 by Qing Lv

Rose and Renaissance (Wo Zhi Xihuan Ni de Renshe [Yule Quan]) by Zhi Chu

Killing Show (Sha Lu Xiu) by Fox

Soul Vibration (Linghun Saodong) by Dr.solo

To Rule in a Turbulent World (Luan Shi Wei Wang) by Gu Xuerou

Monogatari Novels:

It is unclear to me if Monogatari Novel titles are available for world-wide distribution, but there are group orders being organized or I think they can be ordered directly from their webpage; they are based in Spain. These titles can also be ordered from at least some major retailers. Note that there has been some controversy about Monogatari Novels.

BAIHE: A Clear and Muddy Loss of Love (Jing Wei Qing Shang) by Please Don't Laugh

BAIHE: Female General and Eldest Princess (NuJiangjun he Zhang Gongzhu) by Please Don't Laugh

How to Survive as a Villain (Chuan Yue Cheng Fanpai Yao Ru He Huo Ming) manhua by Yi Yi Yi Yi

The Legendary Master's Wife (Chuanshuo Zhi Zhu de Furen) by Yin Ya

The Silent Concubine (Ya Nu) by Qiang Tang

BAIHE: Soulmate manhua by Wenzhi Lizi

Aloha Comics:

A tiny, Hawaii-based press focusing on manhua. Titles appear to primarily be available through Diamond Comics. There are also pre-orders on Yiggybean. All of these are pre-orders, though the earliest are coming out by the end of April 2024 (about two weeks after when I'm posting this).

All these titles are manhua!

Day Off by Qing Cai

Here U Are by DJUN

Link Click by Li Haoling and Haoliners (not technically danmei!)

Nirvana in Fire (Lang Ya Bang) by Hai Yan (not technically danmei!)

Chaleuria:

As far as I can tell, Chaleuria has not updated their webpage since April 2023, so the current status of in-progress titles is unknown. All titles are digital and/or e-book, and I'm not sure how to purchase them as I haven't tried.

Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal Assistant (Zhuli Shiyong Zhinan) by Why Radiance

Deep in the Act (Ru Xi) by Tongzi

Fake Slackers (Wei Zhuang Xue Zha) by Mu Gua Huang (no longer available)

From Body to Love (Leng Yan E Nan: Xian Shenhou Ai) by Wan Wan Yi Xia

Interstellar Power Couple (Xingji Qiangli Lianyin) by Kun Cheng Xiongmao (no longer available)

Intoxicated Friends (Zui Qing Zhi Pengyou) by Ye Shu Ying

The Long Chase for the President's Spouse (Zongcai Zhui Fu Lu Manman) by Three Thousand Crow Language

Reborn into a Hamster for 233 Days (Chong Shengcheng Cangshu de 233 Tian) by Yi Shu

Records of the Dragon Follower (Cong Long Ji) by Yueren Ge

Urban Tales of Demons and Spirits (Dushi Yaogui Lu) by Qie Er

World Hopping: Avenge Our Love (Ni Wufa Yuliao de Fenshou, Wo Du Neng Gei Ni Song Shang) by Xiaomao Bu Ai Jiao (no longer available)

Honorable Mentions:

There are a handful of titles I know of that are official translations of C Novels, where the C Novels aren't danmei or baihe but are often treated as adjacent within fandom (as in: I've seen people shipping characters from them, lol). I've included two above under the entry for titles from Aloha Comics (Link Click and Nirvana in Fire) and here are a couple others I currently know of:

The Grave Robbers' Chronicles (Daomu Biji) by Nanpai Sanshu (six volumes are available in English from Things Asian Press

The Legend of the Condor Heroes (She Diao Yingxiong Chuan) by Jin Yong from St. Martin's Press

Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Sanguo Yanyi), attributed to Luo Guanzhong, available in multiple translations

The Seven Heroes and Five Gallants (Zonglie Xiayi Chuan), attributed to Shi Yukun, there are two translations to English listed at the linked Wikipedia page

Note that to the best of my knowledge both of these are considered very substandard translations. I've personally read the official DMBJ translations and... yeah... and I've heard the LOCH translation is also mediocre.

I will add to the "Honorable Mentions" list if I find any other more mainstream titles with official translations.

Please don't come at me for including a couple classics. The characters shippable, what can I do? I've written fic for Romance of the Three Kingdoms...

A handful of other licenses are mentioned on the Carrd I linked at the beginning of this post; I have no idea the status of those titles and wasn't able to find information on them while putting together this post other than what was listed on that Carrd, so I've omitted them.

As a final note, I've personally purchased from every printer on this list EXCEPT Monogatari Novels (I'm holding off because of the controversy and will see how things play out) and Chaleuria (which I vaguely knew existed but nothing beyond that).

Seven Seas translation varies but the editing is general strong and the editions are sturdy and nice. Extras that have come with final volumes are lovely. I am buying literally everything they publish except for You've Got Mail, due to information about the author that was shared with me that the author is a transphobe. Note that Kinnporsche by Daemi is not danmei as it's Thai (and I've heard unsavory things about the author - I don't have a link for that as the information was shared with me on Discord, and I encourage you to do your own research rather than taking my word for it). No judgement if you make a different choice than me, to be clear, I'm just sharing the information I have and why I personally am not buying the books). Note that Seven Seas isn't without controversy, especially for treating their contractors poorly resulting in them unionizing. Some people have also been unhappy with the fidelity of their translations compared to the original Chinese (I've been satisfied personally but ymmv).

Peach Flower House has inconsistent inconsistent editing quality, but the books are very readable, and I'm excited that they're working with translators such as E. Danglars. I haven't bought any of their special editions so can't speak to their extras, but I've bought all their print translations and will continue to do so going forward.

I just got my first title from Via Lactea last week and finished reading it on Sunday, and the translation read very well and there were minimal errors. It also came with a bundle of cute extras, which I wasn't expecting and pleased, and writing this post has caused me to cave and spend $150 to buy the rest of their books. Thank you, tax refund. (Should I spend this money? No. Did I anyway? ...)

No Rosmei titles have actually shipped yet, so I can't speak to their quality, though the previews they've shared on social media (as outlined here, for example) read decently and I'm optimistic. The cover art is also lovely, and they've been communicative and responsive, for example they've already issued a statement related to a recent controversy over perceived poor marketing for At the World's Mercy.

Tl:dr, the above is absolutely everything I personally know about mlm and wlw Chinese novels and manhua that have been licensed for English publication. I hope it helps someone.

Now go forth, and buy some books!

#danmei #baihe #mxtx #priest #priest novels #tang jiuqing #mu su li #meng xi shi #yi yi yi yi #this probably needs a billion other tags but oh well #i've been meaning to write something like this for ages #like there's literally a similar post saved in my drafts #but apparently today is the day i don't have the willpower to not #as also evidenced by my literally buying some of these books while in the middle of putting the post together lmao #i broke a windshield wiper on sunday and SHOULD spend money fixing that instead but here we are #at least it's the passenger side wiper???#anyway as always just tryin to do my part to get people to read more than just mxtx #not that i don't love mxtx #but please guys there's so much amazing stuff out there READ MORE BOOKS

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tomeandflickcorner · 4 years

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Episode Review- The Real Ghostbusters: Slimer, Come Home

Okay, we got a Slimer centric episode. This should be interesting.

It turns out that there’s been a recent spike in poltergeist activity in the city. But the strange thing is that these particular poltergeists seem to defy the usual Modus operandi. Usually, poltergeists are attached to one place and grow weaker the further they travel from that set place. But these poltergeists seem to be able to roam freely through the city and are attacking random targets. And even though the Ghostbusters have been tracking them for the past three nights, the poltergeists continue to get the better of them. And this night is no different, as the poltergeists manage to trap the Ghostbusters inside a giant vortex before escaping through an open manhole. We also get our first glimpse of the de facto leader of the poltergeists. While the episode doesn’t directly state this ghost’s name, he is apparently called Ghash.

As the Ghostbuters return to the Firehouse, they theorize that perhaps the reason why these poltergeists aren’t growing weaker as they travel around is because Ghash is drawing energy from the smaller poltergeists. Rather like a battery absorbing power from other batteries. Or something to that effect. Either way, Winston can’t help but notice that the trip back to the Firehouse seems to be taking longer than usual. But it turns out that the other Ghostbusters were taking the long way back on purpose. Because it’s Winston’s birthday, and they were hoping to give Janine enough time to finish setting up his surprise party. When they finally make it back to the Firehouse, Peter, Ray and Egon somehow manage to beat Winston inside, as they are standing with Janine when Winston walks in. (Slight plothole, but whatever.) When the surprise party is revealed, Winston is clearly touched by the gesture. Especially when Janine wheels out his birthday cake. Which is a simply massive 3-tierd cake that must have cost them a good chunk of money to make, considering it must have been prepared by a professional bakery. I refuse to believe that the Firehouse has an oven that can handle baking a cake that size. Janine even announces it’s a Blueberry Fudge cake, which is Winston’s favorite. That seems like a rather exotic flavor for a cake, but perhaps that’s what makes it so very special.

Unfortunately, Slimer takes one look at the cake and instantly eats it all in one gulp. Because it’s Slimer, and he just can’t help himself sometimes. While Winston seems to take it in stride, this is apparently the final straw for Peter, who really lays into Slimer for this mishap. As a result, Slimer slinks off in misery, with Ray informing Peter that he might have hurt Slimer’s feelings. Although, Peter seems to wave that statement away, claiming that ghosts don’t have feelings. Which seems like a very odd thing to say, even for Peter. It would be one thing if the ghosts featured in this show were depicted as animals (because it’s a matter of debate on how complex an animal’s feelings are), but for the most part, all the ghosts we’ve seen so far clearly have some manner of human-like intelligence.

Either way, it seems as if Slimer was indeed particularly hurt by Peter’s recent reprimand. That evening, while the Ghostbusters were asleep, Slimer decided to run away, even leaving a goodbye note for them. The note is soon discovered by Janine when she returns to the Firehouse after making a trip to the doughnut shop. (While it does seem strange that there’s a doughnut shop that’s open in what is probably supposed to be the middle of the night, this is New York City. And there are probably a lot of 24 hour stores around.) She quickly alerts the Ghostbusters that Slimer has run away, accompanied by a rather decent joke of how Janine can understand Slimer’s illegible handwriting. Because she, as a secretary, can read anything. When they’re told that Slimer is gone, the Ghostbusters all promptly don rain jackets and head out into the pouring rain to find him. Except for Peter, who initially acts as if he’s completely okay with never seeing Slimer again. Although, a short time later, Peter also sneaks out to join in the search, proving that he really does care about Slimer deep down. While Janine does catch him sneaking out, she pretends to buy his excuse that he’s only going out for a walk.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Ghostbusters are continuing their search for Slimer. Egon is particularly concerned, as he remembers the poltergeists they were hunting earlier. He points out that if Ghash was indeed looking for more ghosts to provide him with more ghost energy, then he might end up targeting Slimer as well. And it would be really bad if Ghash managed to get Slimer in his grasp, since just one more recruit could make Ghash unbeatable. So obviously, time is off the essence. Especially since we see Slimer has indeed noticed Ghash’s followers convening inside a building and, out of what I guess was curiosity, decided to follow them.

Upon noticing Slimer amongst them, the group of poltergeists welcome him as a newcomer. And, in what I think was supposed to be an initiation ritual, Ghash takes it upon himself to teach Slimer how to be more frightening. This ultimately leads to a scene where Slimer, following Ghash’s instructions to scare the next human that comes around the corner, literally ‘runs’ headlong into Peter, who happened to be searching for Slimer in that exact part of town. The moment Peter spots Slimer, he radios the other Ghostbusters, informing them that he’s located their missing pet ghost.

The Ghostbusters quickly gather outside the building Peter saw Slimer entering, and Egon, upon checking his PKE meter, notices that the various frequencies of the different ghosts gathered inside the building are starting to merge into one. Which means that Ghash is starting to absorb his poltergeist followers. They hurry inside, only to find that Slimer had been forced to merge with Ghash as well. Knowing that they have to act quickly, the Ghostbusters set their proton throwers at precisely 500,000 Megahertz, which is Slimer’s unique frequency, in the hopes that they can pull Slimer back out before he can be fully absorbed by Ghash. This, of course, works. But Ghash has still merged with all the other poltergeists, which makes him even more formidable. Ghash manages to briefly capture the Ghostbusters, but Slimer intervenes by activating one of the Proton Packs lying nearby. This results in the Ghostbusters breaking free of Ghash’s hold. Once they’re free, they’re able to catch Ghash inside a Ghost Trap. But it’s not over yet, as the Ghost Trap was not designed to hold so many entities at once. So the Ghostbusters have to book it back to the Firehouse and load the trap inside the containment unit before it explodes. Naturally, they just make it in the nick of time.

In the episode’s final moments, the Ghostbusters instruct Slimer, who returned to the Firehouse along with them, to join them upstairs. There, it’s revealed that the Ghostbusters have put together a Welcome Back party for Slimer, informing him that they’re all glad he’s back and that they missed him. Even Peter admits that he missed Slimer. But only a little bit. Winston then reveals he put together a cake to celebrate. Except it’s the most unappetizing cake you could imagine. Nevertheless, Slimer consumes it in one bite like before. The moment he realizes he’s done it again, Slimer is immediately fearful, wondering if he’ll get yelled at the way he did before. Until Winston reveals that this time, they learned to anticipate Slimer’s actions and prepared a backup cake. And then, for some reason, Ray announces he taught Slmer a trick. Which, even though we don’t actually see this ‘trick,’ seems to entail Slimer barfing up the cake he just ate, as evidenced by everyone’s disgusted reactions to the so-called trick. Which makes me wonder why exactly Ray would even think to teach Slimer that.

Overall, it wasn’t bad for a Slimer centric. Though, while the show itself is very episodic in nature with no overarching storyline, this still comes across as a filler episode. Personally, I think the best moment in the episode was a short scene where Egon runs into a group of punks during his search for Slimer. This scene in particular was simply golden since a) Egon is completely oblivious to the fact that these punks are clearly looking to mug him or worse and b) the leader of the punks quickly decides to let Egon go, stating ‘my dad told me never to mess with anybody weirder than I am.’

(Click here to read more Ghostbuster reviews)

#the real ghostbusters #rgb episode review #ghostbusters franchise

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tauers-go-dutch · 6 years

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Greece-y Turkey

Hold onto your butts- this one is a long one. We spent a week on vacation, so we have a lot to write about.

A couple of months ago, Mariah and I were talking about plans to go on a longer trip for her birthday and for Thanksgiving, both of which would fall on the same week. We first discussed Iceland- eventually turning it down not due to the cold (it’s apparently always cold in Iceland), but due to the perpetual darkness with no guarantee for a decent view of the Northern Lights. So we looked for warmer alternatives. After talking to various friends that had been there before, our minds turned towards Turkey. Sure, the political climate hasn’t been great the past couple of years, but we figured the everyday people would be friendly enough. Besides, Turkey looked beautiful, and Istanbul is one of the most historic cities in the world. So we made plans… oh, and we decided why not go to Greece in the same trip?

The trip wasn’t without snags… Turkey requires a visa for US citizens. We bought ours online, and two days later, shit went down and the US and Turkey revoked tourist visa privileges from each other. So… we didn’t know if we could go for a few weeks. We ended up calling the embassy and previously issued travel visas were said to be honored. Further, eventually privileges were reinstated by both countries. That didn’t stop the Dutch checking agents at the airport from harassing us with outdated information- they almost didn’t let us board because, ‘Well, the presidents of both countries are fighting right now.’ Um, close… I guess. And people say Americans are ignorant.

Obviously we got on the plane. It was literally the last flight out of Schipol at midnight. A poor three and a half hours of sleep and we were in Istanbul. But that was just the layover. Another sleepless few hours and we were in Kayseri- a small city in the center of the Asian portion of the country. From there, it was an hour shuttle ride to Goreme, the main city in the Cappadocia region. Yes, I wrote this to indicate the bit of a pain to get to Cappadocia, but it is worth it. The region is populated with ‘fairy chimney’ rock formations. They are gorgeous, and even more so when you learn that people carved homes and churches in them in the middle ages. Now, whole hotels are embedded in the rocks- including ours! After settling in, Mariah and I found lunch (delicious Turkish pide), and just walked around taking in the sites. I mean, the sunset was amazing! Then was an early dinner (seriously delicious and home cooked) and early bedtime.

Our cave hotel

The next morning, we were supposed to have a balloon tour to see the sunrise, but the wind was too strong to go up. Oh well, we made the most of it by going to see some of the aforementioned churches in the Goreme Open Air Museum. If you end up going, pay the extra fee to go into the Dark Church. Luckily, when we went, we were the only people in at the time, and the docent was kind enough to give us a mini tour of the church and the beautiful frescoes adorning the walls. Unfortunately, the frescoes are only preserved from the little light entering the church (hence Dark Church), and no photos are allowed.

Afterwards, we tried Turkish ravioli (which is a dish from Cappadocia as we came to find out later) and some amazing Turkish samosas (I can’t remember the actual names, so I have to resort to analogizing the dishes). We then took a quick taxi to a small town to the north called Avanos. The main part of town is very nice and picturesque, but we quickly found out the rest of town is not so nice. We bobbled around a bit (and were guilted into buying a souvenir), then we made our way back to Goreme. We were told that the balloon ride would be canceled again the next day, so Mariah scheduled a consolation prize- a hamam bath.

This was a real treat- just be sure to check you inhibitions at the door. We paid for a bath, massage, and facial. We started in a sauna, which we really got the sweat going. Then, in just a towel, you lie down on a stone table. A person then dowses you in water and gives you rough luffa scrub up and down your entire body. This is followed by a lavender soap rub down- again all over. You are rinsed and then given slippers to go back and relax before your massage. Too bad my slippers were three sizes too small! The massage and facial were standard, but welcomed. We left the place feeling so relaxed and refreshed. Dinner that night was some of the best I’ve had. Truly a great night.

Avanos

One size... fits all?

The next day wasn’t too eventful. Honestly we just made our way back to Istanbul, which was rainy. We had some good durum and climbed the Galata Tower for some spectacular views of the city. Plus we had some great baklava. You might be sensing a theme that I enjoyed the food there, which was good because the next day we scheduled a food tour around the city.

Galata Tower

We met our guide, Latif, in the old city. Latif opened up a small local tour company, Istanbul on Food, with his college friend. His friend has since moved to Australia, but Latif carries on the business. I can’t stress enough how good this tour is. Latif has been in the tour game for 12 years, and his passion for Turkey really shows. If you go to Istanbul, book this tour. The food is so good, and there is so much (really too much).

We went on the ‘Taste of Two Continents’ tour, and started the day off with breakfast in the Spice Bazaar. Latif gathered simit bread, various cheeses, Turkish pastrami, menemen (eggs with peppers and tomatoes), clotted creamy and honey, and both chunky and smooth hazelnut butter. Holy shit, everything was amazing, but the smooth hazelnut butter was dangerous, which shouldn’t be a surprise given it was basically Nutella without chocolate. Afterwards we hopped on a ferry over to the Asian side of the city. While it was chilly, we sat outside and caught some amazing views. In the meantime, Lafit shared how the Asian side, specifically the Kadikoy neighborhood, is, ironically, situated more like a European city than the European side of Istanbul. After living in Europe for a year, I completely agree. It really is an intangible feeling, but Kadikoy was hip and trendy, and very enjoyable. To hammer home the European feel, we started at a sweet shop by the port. There we had salep, a spiced hot drink made from orchid flour. While the Salep was good, the really cool thing about the shop was the Christmas sweets that they sold. Turkey, as you may know, is predominately an Islamic nation. However, it is a secular nation, and very open to people of other faiths, as evidenced by its sale of chocolate Santas. It was very heartwarming to see Latif relive childhood memories upon sight of the chocolate Santas which he used to have as a kid growing up in Germany (Germany has the largest Turkish population in Europe, outside Turkey).

From there, we had lunch at Ciya, which is widely regarded as the best lunch in the city. Each day the restaurant has a new menu of various dishes from regions throughout the country. We had samples of two different stews, baba ganoush, stuffed eggplant, puff bread, and Turkish pizza. Seriously, SO. MUCH. FOOD. And this was stop three of 12. The next stop was to the originator of a special type of donor kebap- an iskender kebap. This one doesn’t come wrapped up, but is rather eaten like an open-face sandwich and smothered in tomato sauce. And it is considered more upscale than the common street food version. Luckily, after this stop we a stop for some lighter fare- traditional pickled veggies. We had cucumbers (ie pickles), beets, cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, and even a plum. The plum was weird, but we cleansed our palate with a mix of pomegranate molasses and tahini. Yum!

Next we walked over to a street stand, and tried some mussels. We had both fried and steamed- the steamed was mixed with rice and lemon, and was heavenly. Well, at least for me… not sure Mariah thought as much. But our next stop was for tantuni. This was described as Turkish tacos, and that’s pretty accurate. They’re even better with hot peppers! The sour yogurts drinks that came with them were pretty awful, though. Latif said every American he’s taken on tour has hated them, so there’s that. Next was kokorec, which, stay with me here, is pig intestine wrapped around tripe, roasted, diced, and served in toasted bread. Actually not too bad, but I wouldn’t make it a habit. Supposedly, the EU is cracking down on kokorec for sanitary reasons (Turkey is/was half-heartedly trying to join the EU), which is probably a good call. Next is a quick stop for raw meatballs, which is actually meat-free, and made from walnuts. Supposedly, the original recipes called for meat, which wasn’t cooked due to a punishment from god, but now is made from walnuts. It’s actually decent.

Unfortunately, this is not a milkshake- it is a salty, plain yogurt beverage!

Ok, so now after a few lighter stops, we went to a small pide restaurant. Pide is a popular dish in Turkey. It is sometimes called Turkish pizza, but Turkish pizza often refers to the flat pita with a meat and tomato spread. Pide has a thicker crust, and layer with cheese and toppings like a typical pizza, and sometimes wrapped like a calzone. It is delicious. We had a veggie (which unfortunately included mushrooms to Mariah’s chagrin), and was the absolute best thing we had all day. In fact, Latif didn’t really eat all day (he tries to keep from eating too much on the tours to keep from gaining weight), but indulged here. My only regret is that I forgot to take a picture of the restaurant, and I can’t remember the name.

I don’t think she can eat any more

On the final stop, we stopped at a local ice cream chain- Mado. While a chain, this has the best ice cream according to Latif. We had some traditional Turkish ice cream, which is made thicker and richer than the American version. We were also treated to a surprise birthday cake, courtesy of Latif. SO. MUCH. FOOD. Also, I forgot that we had some delicious baklava and Turkish coffee (no, you don’t drink the grounds that are left in the cup). Latif even treated us to an extra treat of pudding made from barley/wheat topped with cinnamon and chickpeas. It was good (truly), but we could barely eat it after stuffing ourselves earlier. After the tour, we wanted to see the Taksim neighborhood, which is where Latif’s evening tour was located. So he accompanied us and gave us a few more tips. We thanked him and explored the neighborhood, including a holiday market, an orthodox Christian church, and an extremely lavish high school. Then we went up to a brewery to close out the night. If I were hungry, I would have tried a burger, because they looked delicious (the beer was decent). We called it a decently early night, but were pleasantly surprised when our hotel left us a complementary chocolate cake for Mariah’s birthday. We made room. Overall, I think we can call this a birthday success.

Just kidding - she made room

The next day, we hit up all of the hot tourist spots of the city. We went first to the Blue Mosque. The architecture is tremendous, but I feel that the lack of décor within mosques leaves them feeling empty. Outside the mosque we were harassed by a vendor who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and despite our best intentions, we admittedly fell a bit into his tourist trap and bough some spices and candies. After that annoying side quest, we went to the Hagia Sophia, which was the grand church of the Byzantine Empire in the mid-6th century, until being converted to a mosque in the Ottoman Empire. Now it is a museum, and houses the art from both eras. Additionally, there are some neat tombs for old sultans of the Ottoman Empire. Afterwards, we toured the Topkaki Palace. The palace was grand, but I’m still palace’d out. There were some beautiful views that made the entrance fee worth it, though. What I was really excited for were the city cisterns, though. These used to house the water for the whole city. It was pretty cool seeing the setting for (*spoiler*) the climax of Dan Brown’s Inferno. Finally, we walked through the Grand Bazaar, which is really a glorified flea market, before getting a small bite to eat. Oh, and we saw a surprise aqueduct along the way. Not much more going on for the rest of the evening.

Underground cisterns

Hagia Sophia

The Blue Mosque

The tombs of young princes

Alright, so now we are on to the last leg of the trip. We went to the airport to hop over to Athens… literally, we were going in a puddle hopper. I may have been in a prop plane before, but I honestly don’t remember it. I even got to have the window seat right by the engine- some cool photos ensued. We traveled with an interesting set of characters, including an American diplomat (hopefully she made some progress while she was in town).

Upon arriving in Athens, we of course went to find food. To our surprise, Turkey was really lacking solid falafel, despite being neighbored by several countries in the Mediterranean that specialize in it. That wasn’t a problem in Athens! We arrived in the afternoon, so some of the sites had closed their entrances early for winter hours. However, we still got to see some cool stuff, including the first arena for the Modern Olympic games (side note- don’t pay to go in, you can see it all from the outside). We also walked through the city garden and found a little pond with so many turtles! They had even stacked on one another- super cute. We then climbed up toward the Acropolis (but not actually to it- that would be for the next day), and watch the sun set over the city. It was gorgeous. We walked around the city a bit more, and found some awesome street art. We also found a beer bar, which had some solid brews.

First falafel!

We started the next morning with brunch! Mariah had a Greek omelet, but I tried something new. Alas, I again can’t remember the name, but it was basically orzo-esque pasta, tomato sauce, and eggs. Mix it up, and you have deliciousness on a plate. We then split Nutella stuffed pancakes. Yum! Then we went up the Acropolis. Yes, it is worth it. The views are amazing. Just check out the pics. We also went to see the agora, which is cool, but probably not entirely worth admission. BTW, despite Greece not having the best economy, they sure know how to price admission to their attractions. They take a page from Disney, and charge the maximum you’re willing to pay, cause, I mean, you’re not going to not see the Acropolis. As a side note, I was actually surprised at the number of Americans I saw around the city, considering it was Thanksgiving weekend. We got some souvlaki (basically gyros), which by now you probably know were amazing- you just have to wait in line for an hour or so before getting some.

Pretty excited about having a Greek omelette in Greece!

A view of Hadrian’s Arch and the Temple of Zeus from the Acropolis

That evening, we caught a drink in a cute coffee house that changes décor for the season. We happened to catch them as they changed for the Christmas season. The drinks were awful, but the atmosphere was really cool. We then found yet another amazing meal for dinner. This place was seriously cool, because it was a family deli with a dinner service. They not only give you free bread, but also pastrami and cheese as a free appetizer. We then ordered some dolmas (basically the first of the whole trip) and bulger salad. We also had a pastrami egg dish (well, I did) and a Greek salad. Superb! We then closed with drinks in a trendy bar called the Clumsies. My Celtic Forest drink played with my head a bit, since the ice kinda looks like seaweed.

Final baklava

A quick stop for Christmas tea

Seaweed cocktail?

The next morning, we went home. It was particularly interesting, since we (ie, the whole plane) were immediately stopped after landing by border control. This was very odd since we were traveling from one EU member country to another. Fortunately, we were able to pass with no problems (even though Mariah had to check her hand luggage at the gate so she didn’t have her passport). At least we made it back in time to join our friends for a belated Friends-giving celebration.

To say the least, this was an epic trip. Easily one of the best we’ve had. While I miss our family, and the traditional food, I loved trying out this Turkey for Thanksgiving, even if it was a bit Greece-y…

…

Ok, that was a bit much. Tot ziens for now!

#tauersgodutch #tauers go dutch #Thanksgivingturkey #turkeydayinturkey

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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New Man Pt. 2 - Fucking Awful.

A/N: THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR KIND FEEDBACK! I am so appreciative that you took the time to read Part 1 of “New Man” and glad to hear you enjoyed it. You all make my little Grinch heart grow 10 sizes.

Here is Part 2 – I know I promised fluff and happiness, but the story took me in a different direction for this chapter. That said, this is Part 2/?? and if you bear with my I promise to take you to the Promised Land of kisses and glitter. Darkness before the dawn, right?

A good chunk of this is flashback/Roy recounting how we got here, so not as much forward movement as background. Hope you don’t mind some heavy-handed exposition…

Last 2 things – I’m seeing what happens if I switch into Roy’s POV, because I like the narrative structure flipping back and forth between the 2. Would love to get feedback on that, and happy to adapt the structure to one POV or the other if you have strong feelings. AND THIS IS A LONG ONE, sorry if 3K words is brutal.

Thanks for readying, y’all are the real MVPs.

This was going really fucking great.

That was the only thing running through Roy’s mind as he felt Danny smile underneath his kiss. In the 4 hours he’d been in Seattle he thought he had totally screwed up his plan, but somehow things had gotten back on track. Clearly this was meant to –

And then Danny broke away. Suddenly, roughly. Ripping is lips away and pushing off with surprising force. Roy stumbled back a few paces as both men caught their breath.

“No. This is…you’re…no.” Danny picked up the lighter he’d dropped in the heat of the moment, still muttering to himself just low enough that Roy couldn’t hear. Then he grabbed Roy by the forearm and dragged him back into the bar – again, sudden and rough. Roy couldn’t help but giggle just a tiny bit, thinking how ridiculous Danny must look hauling a 40-year-old man off like a misbehaving toddler.

“This isn’t funny, man. What was…ugh!” Throwing his hands off dramatically, Danny let go and continued back to their friends. Shit, the kid was really frustrated and probably even a little mad. Roy steeled himself from the drunken giggles, rejoining the table a few seconds behind.

He was thankful that the crew didn’t acknowledge anything that had just happened – the benefit of drunk friends, amiright? Roy eased back into the group conversation, light chatter about who totally saw the ending coming on Westworld or what memes would make the best protest t-shirts. He took every opportunity to steal an unnoticed look at Danny, who was half participating in the discussion and half furiously clicking at his phone. In his cross-faded fog, Roy couldn’t tell what the kid was doing. Grindr? Writing a novel? Playing Bejeweled – that was still a thing, right?

His stealth staring mission was clearly a failure, though, evidenced by the sharp kick of Jinkx’s boot on his shin.

“OH what the fuck Jinkx?!” Curiosity became shooting pain as Roy clutched for his leg underneath the table.

“Sorry Roy, clumsy as ever! Let me grab you a drink, dull the pain. Come with me to the bar?” The redhead emphasized the last request with Uzo Aduba-level crazy eyes. This was not a request, and while Jinkx didn’t intimidate Roy he was too fuzzy to fight.

“Sure, queen. Somebody has to make sure you don’t drop the booze.” Oof, his snapbacks were weak tonight. The two left the table and headed to see Todd at the bar.

“I’ll take a –“

“Oh no, you’ll have a water. Todd, water for Bianca del Drunko. I’ll take a few shots of Jack for the table, and Ginger backs.” Roy pouted and raised an eyebrow, sorting through his Rolodex of Hate for a quippy insult about ginger and redheads and minj, but finding his speed dulled a bit by the smoke and alcohol.

Jinkx turned back to him. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you right now but get it together. Jesus, del Rio, you’re supposed to be the mature one. The rest of us get to fuck things up. Just drink your water and mellow out for a minute.” The redhead knew about Roy’s plan, his oh-so-secret plan to use this weekend to woo Danny, and could tell he was putting it at risk.

“Alright, alright Jinkx. Don’t get so worked up you fall asleep on me.”

The joke fell flat. “You can do better than that.”

“Damn straight I can. You –“

For what had to be the millionth time that night, Roy was interrupted. This time by his phone, pinging with a text – from Danny. Roy looked over to the table to see what was going on, but all he saw was the kid deep in conversation and finally ignoring his phone. Roy swiped to open…

Danny: What the hell, Roy? I know we haven’t gotten to see much of each other since I moved up here, but something is different about you and it’s really fucked. You’ve been acting like a bit of a cunt the last few weeks, you hardly call me or Shane or even your mom anymore, and now you’re here doing everything you can to cheat on your boyfriend? With strangers, with me…This isn’t you, and if it is then I’m not sure I know you anymore.

Roy scanned the text eight more times before throwing his phone down on the bar. Jinkx didn’t flinch, too occupied flirting with one of the cute bartenders. Seizing the moment, Roy grabbed the three shots of Jack the guy had poured and knocked them back in quick succession. It wasn’t until the slam of the last shot glass onto the bar that the redhead looked up, just in time to see Roy storming for the exit.

As he stood out on the curb, trying desperately to get an Uber with his now smashed up phone, there was only one thing running through Roy’s mind:

This was going really fucking awful.

—

Roy woke up suddenly, eyes snapping open to his unfamiliar hotel room lit by dawn creeping through haphazardly closed curtains. He rolled over to look at the clock – 5:12am. It figures, Roy was never one to sleep off a night of drinking. While most people spent the next day wrapped in blankets and sleeping like a rock until at least 11am, he always seemed to be yanked out of slumber after only a few hours of restless shut-eye. Sometime between 5am and 6am he would be awake, mind reeling and trying unsuccessfully to will himself back to sleep until the headache went away.

This morning was no different – only the pain was so, so much worse. Sure, he used three shots of whiskey to put an exclamation mark on a night of heavy drinking, but the pain that was nagging him most was emotional. Roy grabbed for his phone – oh right, it was smashed to shit by angry Bianca last night – and re-read Danny’s text. He was hit by a sudden wave of nausea, a feeling that made him want to cry as it made him want to vomit. He grabbed a bottle of water from the minibar, charge be damned, and chugged the whole thing has he tried to figure out how the hell he had screwed this up so badly.

—

His plan was never *simple*, but that wouldn’t be Roy’s style. As Bob had frequently told him, he was a “lover of complexity” and couldn’t help himself. The plan to woo Danny was no different.

To say he cooked this up when he caught Sky sleeping with one of his personal training clients 2 weeks ago was only half right. Roy had actually planned to spend the three months off between the US and UK legs of Not Today Satan to finally make a play for Danny, but bitch moved to Seattle before he could make any of the many grand gestures he’d cooked up. In the first few weeks after Danny left, when the kid’s social media had been flooded with posts about how much he loved Seattle and the people, Roy hit a real low point. Jealous, exhausted, and feeling quite sorry for himself, he met Sky in a bar and hooked up with him a few times before falling into an effortless relationship.

Effortless not in the good sense of the word, though; effortless in the sense that Roy put in literally no effort, and didn’t care to make it work. The guy was named SKY after all – Roy could barely believe he’d been able to fuck a guy named Sky for 2 whole months, but he supposed the abs helped. Sky was just a nice distraction, a pretty shiny toy to brag about when he needed to overcompensate in conversations with Danny and Shane…which had quickly become all the time. He learned a hot, rich boyfriend is a great way to deflect questions about himself or his wellbeing. The new man, combined with dialing the bitchiness up to 11, was like armor; helpful in denying to himself and the outside world that he was not in a good place.

But when Roy walked in on Sky with his 2pm-Tuesdays balls deep in his ass, he resolved that even in his lowest moments he had the self-respect not to date a cheater. So he cut if off with Sky and 20 minutes later booked a 2 week trip to Seattle. Time to put the Noriega-Haylock plan back in action, for the thousandth time in 4 years.

This time, Roy would show Danny how perfect and the right kind of effortless they could be. He would breeze into town – but let’s be real, Roy never breezes – and seamlessly integrate himself into the Seattle version of Danny’s life. He would meet the new friends, support him at all his local shows, become a member at the EMP…hell he’d even buy a few flannels and a beanie. At the same time, Roy would make his feelings for Danny abundantly clear. He was confident that Danny reciprocated them; he knew it in his heart, but he also knew because Danny had told him on more than one occasion. Three times over the course of their friendship Danny had been the fearless one and professed his love for Roy. Ok, so maybe fearless is the wrong word – the drunk and cross-faded one may be a more apt description – but the point was that Roy knew Danny wanted this as much as he did. He felt it in his soul, his mind, every fiber of his body. Now it was time to make it real.

After booking the flights, he called Dela to layout his plan. He knew he needed a confidante in this, and it wouldn’t be fair to Shane to put him in the middle of this.

“B, I’m really glad you’re finally taking the plunge with Danny. It’s been too long coming. But you realize you have 2 big problems, right?” Ben was his always-enthusiastic self, but had some concerns. “You still aren’t solving the long-distance and time problem you’ve always been worried about.”

“We’ll find a way to work through it. I have to stop using that as an excuse to not give this a chance.”

“Very big of you, and I agree. But, uh, the second thing – don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Well, funny story – no. That was always a waste of my time – c’mon, his name was SKY – and I caught him getting fucked by a bear about an hour ago.”

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry! Are you ok? Are you alone?” Ben launched into caregiver mode, instantly making Roy uncomfortable.

“No, Ben I’m really fine. It was not –“

“I know Michelle’s in town, she’s always my breakup guru, maybe you should –“

Fuck. Roy realized a major problem. If he announced to his friends (and social media, shit) that he and his new man had broken up, his life would become an endless barrage of sympathy. Everything he’d done to ward off questions about the bags under his tired eyes, the increasingly infrequent and short calls to friends and family, and the mess in his usually tidy life would crumble. Roy couldn’t have that – he was fine, he was the caretaker for everyone else, and he couldn’t stand people to fuss over his well-being.

It was in that moment that he made the decision that made the plan *complex* - “Ben, stop. I’m fine, really I’m ok. Peachy fucking keen. But can I ask one favor of you? One tiny thing and I’ll name my next dog after you?”

“Anything, dear.”

“Do not – and I repeat, do NOT – tell anyone that Sky and I broke up.”

“What?” Ben was confused, understandably.

“I don’t want to deal with all of these conversations about it, and the only person who really needs to know right now is Danny. I’ll tell him in person when I’m in Seattle, please just keep quiet about it until then.”

“I’m not sure that’s the best…”

“Please, Dela. Just let me do this my way?”

After a long pause – “Ok, alright, sure. Let me go on record saying I don’t think that’s a healthy way to handle this.”

“Dually noted, Judge Judy. Thank you, I appreciate it.” Roy hung up with Dela and began crafting his “casual” message to Danny to tell him he’d be in town. Mid-way through the 5th round of editing, his phone rang: Jinkx.

“Hey Jinkx, can I call you back I –“

“Are you an idiot? I mean really, are the blonde wigs affecting your brain?” Jinkx steamrolled him.

“Excuse me?” “Dela is on with me – I know what you’re coming to Seattle to do –“

“Well now it’s to come cut up that bitch Dela’s wigs. I asked you one thing, you little fruit fly –“ “Sorry Roy, I –“

“Don’t apologize, Ben. He was right to tell me, he’s going to be out of town when you get here and someone has to help you not screw this up. I know we can’t talk you out of it, but at least let us try to support you. This is big risk, big reward, and it could – you’re going to need wing-people.”

Roy knew there was no point in fighting. As good natured as Jinkx was, bitch was aggressive. If we wanted to help, goddammit he was going to help. With a sigh – “Ok, you’re in on this. Great. But please let me handle this they way I want to – I need to. Danny and I are endgame to a long, long story and I have to do this the way I feel is right. If this gets out beyond the two of you, I will call Darienne and Roxxxy so that those shady elephants can trample you. Is that clear?”

“Sure, whatever you say.” Jinkx scoffed.

Ben soothed. “What Jinkx means to say, Roy, is we are here for you and support you. We are so happy you’re finally going after what we’ve all seen for years.”

“Yes, all that.” Jinkx reassured. “And I promise I won’t let you fuck it up.”

Roy laughed. “Gee, thanks.” Now, with less sarcasm – “I do actually appreciate it. But I think I got this.”

It was Jinkx’s turn for sarcasm. “Uh huh, sure.”

—

It did not bring Roy any joy to have proven Jinkx right. Again, he felt nauseous.

He had basically blown his chance with Danny on the first night but if he was being honest the mistakes started long before. The sexting. See, Roy refused to tell anyone else – not Shane, not Detox, nobody – about his breakup with Sky. That meant a lot of nights alone before his trip to Seattle, pretending to be busy to avoid having to be avoidant. That also meant a lot of solo wine nights, which somehow quickly devolved into sending dirty texts – so, so many dirty texts – to Danny. Now that he was committing to his pursuit, the fact that his every sexual fantasy had the same male lead was not something Drunk Roy felt the need to hide. At some point every night, his filter would disappear and he’d send Danny a (he thought) beautifully written description of the patterns he wanted to draw across his body with his tongue, the ways in which he wanted to tie up and be tied, the rhythms he wanted to pound into him, etc.

That Danny did not respond to these texts or bring them up in their regular conversations was a little confusing to Roy, but he was glad for it. He figured Danny just read them when he was equally pissed drunk – he knew he deleted messages as he read them – and forgot about it. At least that’s what he hoped, so that there could be some element of surprise in his plan. But seeing Danny’s reaction to the kiss and everything after, Roy understood he was wrong. It seemed like Danny was actually mad about it – not a reaction he had expected.

And then there was the bar – for that, Roy couldn’t muster an explanation or an excuse. He knew that he did this. During times of high anxiety and stress, Roy makes terrible decisions when he drinks. He tried for years to understand how or why, but for some reason worry plus whiskey turns him into a bad idea machine. This wasn’t the first time the same combination ended with him lip-locked (or worse) with a stranger that he later regretted. He should’ve just kept it low-key last night, not drinking much if at all so that he could play it cool with Danny. But nerves got the best of Roy, and from the moment he got on the plane he’d been building a buzz. By the time he got to the bar he was browning out, and he barely remembered how he ended up cuddled up with this random guy.

It wasn’t until Danny started singing that damn song that Roy realized what was going on. Immediately he was horrified – it looked like he was cheating on his boyfriend. Not only did he ignore the love of his life when he had flown to Seattle to see him, but he also appeared to be committing Danny’s #1 cardinal unforgivable sin. He immediately stood up and left the stranger’s table, and rejoined his so-called friends – What the fuck, why didn’t Jinkx stop him? What kind of wing-person was that? Roy sat for a few minutes, half seething and half feeling like he was actually going to die of embarrassment and sadness. When he saw Danny get up to leave, he jumped at the chance to catch him outside and apologize.

And yet – again, with the good ideas from Drunk Roy – instead of apologizing he found himself aggressively accosting Danny before going in for the kiss he’d dreamed about for years. And for just a few seconds, Roy thought everything was going to be ok. He thought that despite all his mistakes today, the last two weeks, the last few years…he thought he’d finally gotten it right. But we all saw how that ended…

—

Finished with a second bottle of water now, Roy emerged from his self reflective daze. He stared at the text from Danny hoping against all hope that he would feel better and last night could be erased and that he could save him and Danny. But when he looked down at the message for the thousandth time, he had to choke back searing tears.

I’m not sure I know you anymore.

“Sometimes I don’t think I know me anymore either, kid.” He muttered. He rifled through is bag to find some Benadryl – the only way he can sleep some days – and popped two of the pink pills before rolling back to bed. “But I’ll make this right. God and Joan Rivers help me, we’re gonna do this.”

Roy couldn’t fix anything now, so at least he could try to sleep.

—

[End of Part 2]

#bianca del rio #adore delano #jinkx monsoon #bendelacreme #biadore #angst #tw cheating #tw depression #rpdr fanfiction #submission #new man #fucking awful #canon compliant

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athena29stone · 7 years

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This Amazing South Bronx School Grows 50,000 Pounds of Vegetables a Year

Episode 131 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Today Stephen Ritz @StephenRitz grows 50,000 pounds of vegetables in the Bronx. As founder of the Green Bronx Machine, his students grow plants while learning more and going onto college. Exciting!

Today’s sponsor is Kids Discover. They’re doing awesome things to drive inquiry based learning. The Kids Discover online platform lets students enter discovery mode. This fun, visual tool lets students explore 150 different science and social studies units for elementary and middle school learners. And while they can explore a wide variety of topics from the US Constitution to Ecology and Ancient China, I also like that you can assign these nonfiction texts at three different lexiles to supplement what you’re doing in the classroom. Go to coolcatteacher.com/discover and get started for free. They support single sign-on with Google and Clever.

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is a transcript modified for your reading pleasure. For information on the guests and items mentioned in this show, scroll down to the bottom of this post.

The Power of a Plant Book Giveaway Contest

****

Enhanced Transcript for Episode 131

The Power of a Plant with Stephen Ritz

Shownotes: www.coolcatteacher.com/e131 Transcript: http://www.coolcatteacher.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/131-transcript-Stephen-Ritz-KM1.pdf Monday, August 21, 2017

50,000 pounds of Vegetables in the South Bronx

Vicki: Stephen Ritz @StephenRitz is with us today, a finalist from the 2015 Global Teacher Prize, and just a very excited amazing person who really has a green classroom. So, Stephen, describe for us what you’ve done in your classroom.

Stephan: Well, in the poorest Congressional district in the America in the least healthy county of all of New York state, in the largest stretch of public housing, in a 100+ year old building, we are growing food! And I mean tons of it. Fifty thousand pounds of vegetables! And fifty thousand pounds of vegetables later, my favorite crop is organically grown citizens. Grant you, it’s members of the middle class, it’s kids who are going to college.

But I took the money from the Global Teacher Prize and created this National Health Wellness and Learning Center, which is a state of the art facility, four stories up in a walk-up building, mind you, where we grow food, we cook, we have integrated science labs.

Stephen Ritz and his students are gardening and growing food for their school and neighborhood.

It is net positive on food and energy. We have bicycle-powered blenders. We have a Green Bronx Machine mobile classroom kitchen. We have solar generators, bicycle blenders, bicycle-powered kitchens, a TV studio. And it’s all low-cost, replicable, and of course, there are our incredible tower gardens where we are growing food in a food-insecure community using 90% less water, 90% less space, and sending home 100 bags of groceries per week. Aligns to content area, instruction, and Common Core Next Generation Science Standards.

What can any teacher do to add sustainable practices to their school?

Vicki: Wow! Now you have a book called The Power of a Plant which is going to help our teachers who are completely overwhelmed and have their jaw on the floor be able to do this, because is there something that an average everyday teacher can do, because it seems like so much!

Stephan: Well, nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something. That is the mantra and the premise behind my book, The Power of a Plant: A Teacher’s Odyssey to Grow Healthy Minds and Schools.

I literally realized six years ago I was over 300 pounds myself, so The Power of a Plant really talks about so many things, but getting specifically to the book – the book will make you laugh, the book will make you cry. Realize I started teaching in 1984 when New York City, the South Bronx was in shambles and burnt to a crisp. So it highlights my odyssey, if you will, across pedagogy, across scaling, across dealing with administration, about dealing with your own personal tragedies and conflicts and challenges within the teaching profession. So it’s 100% inspiration, 100% perspiration, but it is a blueprint.

It also has a growing guide, all kinds of suggested tools. It has letters from students, letters from teachers, 45 luminaries have blurbed the book. Really, it’s designed for one thing – to help you make epic happen in your personal life, in your professional life, and in every single community you serve.

So. as we like to say in the South Bronx, “Si, se puede!” or “Yes, we can!” If I can, you can. That’s the purpose of this book, The Power of a Plant. In fact, it comes with a double-your-money-back guarantee. If you buy the book and don’t like it, I’ll buy it back for twice the price. All the proceeds are being donated to public education, so this is an opportunity for all of us to pay it forward and celebrate the profession that we all know and love.

What is a day in the life of a student at Stephen’s school like?

Vicki: Love it! OK, Stephen, could you take me through what a day of students that you work with, what they’ll do in a day with you?

Aeroponic methods help students grow plants indoors. Units are taught and integrated with the plants that grow alongside student’s growing minds.

Stephan: So, we believe – that’s a great question – we believe that the art and science of growing vegetables aligned to content area instruction grows healthy students, healthy schools, and high-performing resilient communities.

So, in the course of a day, you will come into this lab, where it’s 25 periods of weekly classroom instruction. Before school, lunchtime, after school and weekend programming. And you will get thematic science programming, aligned to Next Generation Science Standards. We do all the ratio, proportions, statistics and measuring aligned to seed propagation, so we touch on math. We touch on literacy, making prediction, doing measurements, if-then conditional statements, the whole art of ordinal direction, of prediction. Then we do a whole lot of science, we do a whole lot of cooking. Then this classroom is aligned to 25 periods of in class content area instruction.

So we believe that the art and science of growing vegetables and taking a garden and putting it at the heart of school, in a classroom, indoors, is not a band-aid so to speak but is a whole school solution. We are not an add on. We are a whole school program that really teaches children in food-insecure communities how to grow food, get the parents involved, brings parents in and aligns it.

Believe it or not, next week we are meeting with the State University of New York to create K-20 programming! Because the one thing about food and plants is that without all of it, we’d all be naked and hungry, and that’s not a thought that looks good on radio or sounds good either.

How do you have time to garden and teach school?

Vicki: (laughs) OK. So I’m a farmer’s daughter. I grew up on a farm. I’m trying to figure out when do the kids work in the garden? Growing plants is actually very hard work, as you know.

Stephan: Well, we have an indoor garden and an outdoor garden. So the outdoor garden is done after school, and not that I am anti-soil, I’m actually pro-soil and pro-garden-time but I’m actually very pro-instructional-time.

During the school day, our plants, our garden is indoors using aeroponic systems known as a tower garden, where the plants are literally growing themselves. The only thing that’s not happening is that they don’t take care of themselves, so the children take care of them, but no school uniforms are ruined, I have reading plant programs, I have leaf monitors, I have Ph patrols, you name it. Kids taking care of plants can document, collecting data, aggregating data, they’re talking about it, discussing it.

And we grew tremendous volumes of food, so deciding what we’re going to do with that food, what we’re going to do with the profits that we sell. Those are the kinds of collegial and professional conversations that really dictate a productive and proactive healthy school culture and climate.

And, it’s being evidenced in our test scores, our school report card, our teacher retention, our teacher satisfaction, our ability to attract new young dynamic teachers who LOVE coming to school in this state of the art facility.

And that’s what we do, so kids are in here literally from about 7:00 in the morning — another set will be coming in here soon – until 7:00 at night. We have about anywhere on any given day, 50-100 kids showing up after school in one of the most productive soil gardens in all of New York City — in the heart of a housing project, I might add – and we do cooking programs, TV shows.

We have our Green Bronx Machine (mobile kitchen) which is a state of the art food truck on wheels for a fraction of the cost which goes classroom to classroom. So it’s not only teaching kids to HAVE food, it’s teaching them what to do with it, giving parents access to it, giving grandparents access to it, and flooding our community with a whole new set of options aligned to help, wellness, and 21st Century college and career readiness.

Stephen’s 30-second Pep Talk for Every Teacher

Vicki: You’ve given us so much. It’s so very exciting. Could you give us a 30-second pep talk to every teacher out there listening about what they can do today?

Stephan: The secret sauce to all of my success is three things – passion, purpose and hope. And I believe that passion, purpose and hope will get you close. And sometimes you just need to take that endless leap of faith to get to the finish line. But teachers, don’t be afraid to fail. If anyone has perfected failing in life, it is me. But I have some hard buttocks, I bounce up quickly, and I keep falling up the ladder of success, saying “Please,” and “Thank you, and “Have a nice day,” and “How can we work to make things better?” And that’s what this is all about, growing the next generation of healthy students, healthy teachers, healthy schools, and healthy communities.

Vicki: Well, teachers. What we’ve heard is truly remarkable. Please go to the Shownotes. We’re giving away a book, The Power of a Plant. I’ve known Stephen for quite some time, and he always amazes me with how much he’s doing and how much we all need to be doing to be going green in our schools.

Full Bio As Submitted

Stephen Ritz

Stephen Ritz, Founder of Green Bronx Machine, Top Ten Global Teacher Prize Finalist, one of NPR’s 50 Greatest Teachers and BAMMY Laureate – Elementary Educator of the Year is a South Bronx educator who believes that children should not have to leave their neighborhood to live, learn and earn in a better one.

Stephen and his students have grown more than 50,000 pounds of vegetables, indoors, farming their way to the White House and back, using 90% less water and space, en route to outstanding personal and school performance which is highlighted in his new book via Rodale: The Power of A Plant with co-author Suzie Boss. To learn more about Stephen’s revolutionary program, see this powerful new two-minute video via Chan Zuckerberg Initiative.

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.)

The post This Amazing South Bronx School Grows 50,000 Pounds of Vegetables a Year appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

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