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thebibliomancer · 7 years

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100 Days of Comics! 088/100: Mrs. Deadpool and the Howling Commandos #2 (2015)

Today’s selection from the box of exactly twelve remaining mysteries comes to us from Secret Wars! No, not that one. N-no not that one either. N- the most recent one. Where everything blew up and Doom became God-Emperor of Battleworld.

The main story was... serviceable. It wasn’t really bad. It had some good moments, like Carol Danvers beating her way into control of the Sinister Hivemind. It probably all comes down to how much weight you give the Doom/RICHARRRRRRRRRRRRDS dynamic.

Where it really shined was the tie-ins. Which mostly did not tie-in. When reading the main story, I was sure that some of the stuff there was going to get more fully explained in the tie-ins but mostly no, not really.

But they did explore this crazy new mixed up patchwork world. Many of the tie-ins were not very good. Superficial retreads of the stories they were inspired by. Looking at you, E for Extinction and Age of Apocalypse Secret Wars tie-ins.

But some of them were bonkers enough to be worth it.

So here we have Mrs. Deadpool and the Howling Commandos. Which is a bit of a misnomer.

Ghost Deadpool: “Hey there gang! Deadpool here -- emphasis on the dead! Because I am a ghost. Because I am dead.

Crazy right?

Anyway, this series takes place on Battleworld -- it’s like this “everything bagel” but where all the sesame seeds and poppy seeds are bits of different realities. It was made by Doctor Doom after all of everything everywhere died.

(That was how I died too.)

My wife Shiklah is still alive in the little slice of our world that got preserved... but Doom done doomed-up everyone’s memories so they don’t remember things the right way. Shikkie-poo doesn’t remember being my missus -- in this world she’s still Dracula’s betrothed!

Don’t worry -- the Shikster is not really into Drac. She’s got half of an ancient weapon and plans to betray him as soon as she gets the other half.

Only problem? The Howling Commandos -- Dracula’s top warriors comprised of Werewolf-by-Night, the Living Mummy, Frankenstein’s Monster, Man-Thing, and Marcus, the Roman centaur with a symbiote and diabetes -- have been sent along with her on her quest... and told by their master to make sure she doesn’t survive the deal!”

As we pick up, Deadpool sits in a fancy chair and reads Daredevil, throwing it away when he notices us come in. But also Shiklah is still on her fake quest to spread her brothers’ ashes.

Shiklah doesn’t trust the Howling Commandos because on top of being Dracula’s stooges, they killed one of their own for displeasing Dracula. But Werewolf-by-Night Jack reveals that Invisible Man had been leaking secrets to the Thor Corps and its not a good sign that they are interested in Dracula’s realm. But Jack doesn’t think its a big deal. He figures that Invisible Man was just making stuff up to get cool mole money. Frankenstein confides that he thinks the Invisible Man watched him change for bed.

But then they arrives at the river styx and Shiklah demands the boatman ferry them across. He refuses. They’re not dead yet.

Shiklah: “You’ll be dead if you don’t move our asses across this stupid river!”

Living Mummy: -whisper- “She’s a terrible negotiator.”

And then zombies attack and the Howling Commandos and Shiklah leap into action.

Living Mummy tells Shiklah to just dump her brothers’ ashes on this beach so they can leave but she refuses.

And they’re fighting. Its a pretty cool monster mash. Maybe even a graveyard smash.

Shiklah wonders why Man-Thing doesn’t help and the Mummy says he’s sensitive to emotions. And I guess the zombies don’t have any. But Frankenstein is afraid of zombies and has been covering his face. So Man-Thing comes up and gives him a reassuring hug- OH GOD EVERYTHING IS FIRE

The ferryman comes back and offers to bend the rules this one time since they did kill all the zombies. But Frankenstein puts his fist literally through the boatman’s head. So they steal his boat.

Not that they needed it. Apparently the river Styx is just a shallow stream. You could walk across.

When they reach the other shore, Shiklah dumps out her brothers’ ashes in a heap. In reality, she thought they were boobs who underestimated their enemy.

The Howling Commandos keep trying to tell Shiklah something but she pulls out a watermelon with bananas taped to it.

Wait, what?

Oh, that wily Living Mummy pickpocketed the Medusa head from her and hid it in his wraps. That zany mummy.

The Howling Commandos come clean. Dracula ordered them to kill her but they don’t want to. They actually want to help take Dracula down. Oh and they didn’t kill the Invisible Man. He’s back in Dracula’s palace invisibly spying on Dracula right now.

Jack and Shiklah get into an argument about who the leader should be. Shiklah settles it by kissing Jack into a stupor.

Deadpool is unhappy with this and floats into the comic to demand a talk with Shiklah. But he dead. She can’t see him. Its like It’s A Wonderful Life. But at least he doesn’t have a guardian angel.

Bob, Agent of Hydra, shows up to be Deadpool’s guardian angel. So Deadpool karate chops him in the neck. “Ain’t got time for your &#$%&%#$, Bob.”

Meanwhile, at Dracula’s palace. Invisible Man invisibly eats a chicken drumstick. And then angry Dracula angrily barges in, stops in confusion and asks why there is a cooked bird. Dracula’s nosferatu-esque servant thought Dracula asked him to fetch it as a test of his abilities. It was hard to find. They had to cut it from the belly of a poisonous orc.

Dracula continues his angry storm-off and when he’s alone, the Invisible Man invisibly vomits after learning where the chicken was from.

And then we see why Dracula was so angry. Some Thors came to see him. The jivest Blade Thor and a Lizard Thor.

Blade Thor: “Here’s the deal: I’ve been hearing a lot of gum bumping up in the streets about friction down here. Like some crazy exorcist jive. So nip it in the bud, you dig? Otherwise you’re gonna be mixing it up with the bad brothers of the Thor Corps.”

Geez. It makes so much sense to have a Thor’d Blade be the one who oversees the monster mash realm. And to some extent, the Lizard too. He’s a monster. He can speak their language. “Sssskgk!” And Blade hunts vampires. Good, inspired selection for Thors, Gerry Duggan.

And I like this book. I already read it when I was reading every Secret Wars tie-in. But there’s just something fun about a group of Howling Commandos that are a bunch of Hammer Horror monsters, and Marcus the Roman centaur with a symbiote and diabetes.

Its just a great concept. Unfortunately limited to four issues because of the nature of Secret Wars.

I know there was another Howling Commandos book with monsters. It had Hit-Monkey, Manphibian, Man-Thing, Teen Abomination, Orrgo, undead Jasper Sitwell, vampire Nina Price, and LMD Dum Dum Dugan in command. I won’t say no to Hit-Monkey but as for the others, they’re okay monsters but they don’t really match up to the same bonkers feel that the Hammer Horror squad had.

DC also had a similar team concept. The Creature Commandos. Basically following the Hammer Horror idea. They had a normal human, a werewolf, a vampire, Frankenstein, and a gorgon. Initially. The team make up changes. At one point it included a mummy and a bogman.

The point being that Hammer Horror superhero team is a great idea and I would read it a lot. Especially if they then also included Hit-Monkey. He’s a monkey who is also an assassin who assassinates assassins.

Pander to me, comics! Pander to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

#100 Days of Comics!#Mrs Deadpool and the Howling Commandos #this comic watered my crops and etc #Hammer Horror #i love ridiculousness in my comics #dark and gritty photorealism is fine for those who like that #i want a girl with squirrel powers befriending Galactus #and a werewolf leading a squad with a mummy and frankenstein

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vincentbuckles · 5 years

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Weekend reading: Can we take back control from Brexit?

[A quick update on Brexit thoughts for those who want to reasonably discuss it. For those who don’t, please feel free to skip to the links.]

Imagine having anticipated something for 30 years, finally getting the freedom to do it, and then making a car crash out of it.

But enough about my life as a mid-life singleton. I’m thinking here of the Eurosceptic wing of the Conservative party.

You know – those 40-odd guys who can’t muster up enough votes to unseat the UK’s most ineffectual leader since Hugh Laurie’s Prince Regent in Blackadder the Third, and yet who’ve somehow managed to send 63 million of us towards an apparently imminent impoverished future.

You might think the World Class farce we’ve endured over the past 30 months would see me smiling.

After all a second referendum is looking ever more likely, if still not odds-on.

But unfortunately, I continue to read and hear abundant evidence that most of the Leave voting contingent still doesn’t get it.

And that means despite the demographic challenges of that faction (i.e. its original margin of victory is literally dying) it’s quite possible Leave could win again.

Especially if the Remain side sticks to the previous policy of dull facts over bus-splattering bullshit fabrications.

No wonder Leave voters seem almost as angry as Remainers:

I’ve seen a parade of #Brexit leaders on news programmes today. Their position boils down to this: We are absolutely sure voters knew exactly what they voted for and, as soon as we manage to agree among ourselves what that was, we will inform voters what it was they voted for.

— Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) December 6, 2018

A second referendum is a horrible solution to a stupid problem, with plenty of downsides.

However from my perspective it has the minor virtue of being less terrible than all the other alternatives.

Whose Brexit is it, anyway

Can we not stop this death march? Absolutely no one seems happy with the direction of travel.

Not even the Leave voters, that’s the most galling – if unsurprising – thing.

Blogger Ermine came close to capturing this contradiction at the heart of the Leave vote with a graphic this week. Leavers are represented here by the two Mickey Mouse ears on top of the smug metropolitan elite mug:

What @ermine’s Venn diagram is missing though is the set of people who voted either Leave or Remain to make us poorer.

Perhaps that’s because it doesn’t exist – despite even the Government admitting that’s what we face.

True, a tiny set of Brexiteers have belatedly conceded that a No Deal Brexit will hit us in the national nads.

That, they now say, is a price worth paying for sovereignty / blue passports / the right to negotiate trade deals with Madagascar and Kazakhstan.

But all the leading Leave-supporting players continue to lie to the electorate.

Theresa May herself rounded off her Deal Debate Dodge by harking back to the supposed ability of Brexit to reduce the inequalities and insecurities she spoke of in the aftermath of the vote – despite almost every single analysis of Brexit showing a net negative impact, economically-speaking.1

If you want sovereignty or fewer immigrants from Brexit, fair enough. Own that. Don’t claim the tooth fairy too.

But sadly, the very few Leavers I come across in real-life are still saying things like “The EU needs us more than we need them.”

The same EU that has run rings around us in negotiations.

The EU that has stuck firmly together, despite all forecasts to the contrary, and strangely believes more in its vision of togetherness than in the fantasies of Brexiteers.

The EU that takes 44% of our exports, while we take 8%2 of theirs.

The roughly 450 million of them versus the 63 million of us.

The UK vs the EU is a negotiating position that only looks attractive to Tories of a certain class raised to see greatness in the self-destruction of The Charge Of The Light Brigade.

“C’est magnifique, mais ce n’est pas la guerre; c’est de la folie”.3

Barry Barricades

What I missed when I created Barry Blimp – the archetypal Home Counties Leave voter of not inconsiderable means and more than a few years – was his zealotry.

Because I now see a big chunk of the Leave cohort want Brexit no matter what.

In fact I rather think some would enjoy it if we had ferries piled up outside Dover and food rationing at Tesco.

Obviously I feel vindicated when I think back to the insults hurled at me when I ventured my opinion on my own blog that many Leave voters didn’t know what they’d started, or that this would drag on for years.

But that’s about as satisfying as telling the person in the seat next to you that yes, you were right that the 747’s engine sounded a bit funny as the Captain shouts “Brace, brace!” over the tannoy.

There seems no good solution to this mess now. Revolutions have started over less.

(That may sound melodramatic if you don’t know your history. I suggest you Google the origins of the French Revolution, the English Civil War, or the American War of Independence before you jab your finger in my chest.)

To be clear I’m not predicting revolution – let alone hoping for it, from any perspective – but there’s got to be a non-zero chance.

Currently we are just living through a nationalist coup, and that’s bad enough.

The irony is for many on the right, Jeremy Corbyn is a revolutionary Marxist.

Politics has abandoned the center ground. As a result, lots of people are going to be very unhappy, however this turns out.

Our politicians need to get a grip, fast.

From Monevator

Money is power – Monevator

From the archive-ator: The characteristics of an entrepreneur – Monevator

News

Note: Some links are Google search results – in PC/desktop view you can click to read the piece without being a paid subscriber. Try privacy/incognito mode to avoid cookies. Consider subscribing if you read them a lot!4

UK economy slows as car sales fall – BBC

Property market at weakest since 2012 as Brexit takes toll, says RICS – Guardian

ECB ends €2.5tn eurozone QE stimulus programme – BBC

Luxury goods inflation running at nearly 6%, says Coutts – Guardian

Richest parts of London generate 30x cash of poorest parts of UK – ThisIsMoney

Scotland freezes threshold for higher-rate income tax – Guardian

Crowdcube investors threaten legal action after Emoov goes bust – ThisIsMoney

Check out the collapse in the price of solar powered energy – Vox

Products and services

Are real or fake Christmas trees better for the planet? – Guardian

Small energy providers keep going bust. Is switching too risky? – ThisIsMoney

Investors flock to venture capital funds [Search result] – FT

Britain to force broadband providers to tell customers their best deals – Reuters

Ratesetter will pay you £100 [and me a cash bonus] if you invest £1,000 for a year – Ratesetter

Examining the risks and rewards of securities lending for funds – Morningstar

Investec’s new notice savings account allows 20% withdrawals – ThisIsMoney

Questioning the $1million retirement maths special

$1 million isn’t enough – Fat Tailed and Happy

The hardest problem in finance – The Irrelevant Investor

$1 million? Meh. [US but relevant] – The Belle Curve

Comment and opinion

Stellar take on the savings-versus-investment-returns debate – Get Rich Slowly

Situational spending – Seth Godin

Index-investing critic takes aim, fires, misses – Bloomberg

Rational versus reasonable – Morgan Housel

Financial planning – Indeedably

Three investing maths mistakes to drive you nuts – The IT Investor

The current danger for stocks: Fear itself – Morningstar

Why you need a money mentor – The Cut

The reason many billionaires aren’t satisfied with their wealth – The Atlantic

The wonderful Portfolio Charts has had a makeover – Portfolio Charts

How to measure a company’s growth rate – UK Value Investor

The best investing white papers of 2018 [For nerds/pros] – Savvy Investor

Crypto corner (December 2017 nostalgic edition)

Four days trapped at sea with crypto’s nouveau riche – Breaker Mag

Yes Bitcoin was a bubble. And it popped… – Bloomberg

…but is it time for believers to buy back into Ethereum? – AVC

Prices are down more than the ‘fundamentals’ [My quotes] – Chris Burniske

Brexit

The EU rebuffs Theresa May on Brexit — six takeaways [Search result] – FT

Lord Heseltine nails it on Brexit [Video] – via Facebook

“This was the second failed attempt to unseat May in three weeks, for a bunch of guys who’d be picked last for paintball and are led by rejected Paddington villain Jacob Rees-Mogg.” – Guardian

EU leaders scrap plans to help Theresa May pass deal after disastrous meeting in Brussels – Independent

Sir Ivan Rogers on Brexit [Full speech] – University of Liverpool

How Ireland outwitted Britain on Brexit – Bloomberg

Don’t know why people see a nasty, racist fringe to the Leave vote… – via Twitter

Kindle book bargains

The Barcelona Way: How to Create a High-performance Culture by Damian Hughes – £1.09 on Kindle

The 100-Year Life: Living and Working in an Age of Longevity by Lynda Gratton and Andrew Scott – £2.99 on Kindle

James Acaster’s Classic Scrapes by James Acaster – £0.99 on Kindle

Off our beat

Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement – Farnham Street

Population mountains [Striking 3D maps of global populations] – The Pudding

KFC debuts fried chicken-scented fire logs ahead of Christmas – Fox News

We need academic conferences about robots, love, and sex – Slate

And finally…

“For half a century the competition to produce the fastest stock price-printing machine was almost as frantic as the pursuit of the stocks and the shares. Indeed for many, the two were inseparable.” – Selwyn Parker, The Great Crash: How the Stock Market Crash of 1929 Plunged the World into Depression

Like these links? Subscribe to get them every Friday!

Yes, a couple of things might be made better for a tiny subset of the population. But as we’ve discussed before, almost every serious economist believes those benefits would be grossly outweighed by the economic negatives. They’d be far better addressed directly via redistribution or government investment.

Or 18%, in a certain light.

“It’s magnificent, but it’s not war; it’s madness” – General Pierre Bosquet.

Note some articles can only be accessed through the search results if you’re using PC/desktop view (from mobile/tablet view they bring up the firewall/subscription page). To circumvent, switch your mobile browser to use the desktop view. On Chrome for Android: press the menu button followed by “Request Desktop Site”.

Weekend reading: Can we take back control from Brexit? published first on https://justinbetreviews.weebly.com/

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kfrinhamburg · 6 years

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My train was cancelled?

Sorry for the hiatus, between a few more trips, and working on a presentation for class, I haven’t been able to motivate myself to write up a new post. However, I am hoping to get the blog back up to speed with my recent trips to the some more Scandinavian countries (the Netherlands and Denmark). First though, as promised, I wanted to give you a little insight into the much less glamorous, and often stressful side of travel. And, perhaps knowing that I hadn’t yet posted about this topic as promised, the universe decided to give me a second instance of cancelled train in Germany (which now puts me at a 2 out of 2 losing streak). This is going to be a long post with a fair bit of detail about my miserable train night. If you don’t want to read all about that misery you can stop here and hold off till my next, more fun post.

Coming back from Munich, the best (read cheapest that would get me back in time for class on Monday) option was an overnight train to Hamburg. Although not ideal, I felt like after “roughing it” in a tent for the weekend, it was a perfectly acceptable way to get myself back safely. I also had wonderfully high hopes, given the punctuality and cleanliness of the train system in Switzerland. Unfortunately, I was in for a rough night. I arrived back from my tour a little earlier than I had initially planned, but I figured it would be a good chance to charge my phone, get some snacks for the ride and get myself organized. My tour guide very helpfully let me into her key only hostel (where she works) which gave me a safe place that wasn’t the train station to hang out for a few hours. I was in high spirits (though tired) and recharged a bit before heading back to the train station. Everything seemed in order when I got back, my train was on the board, I got to my platform and waited for the train to pull in to the station, which it did about 20 minutes early (or so I thought). Upon finding myself an open seat and settling in, I hear an announcement in German which I vaguely understand to be saying a lot of numbers (which I am moderately ok at mentally translating at speed) but the real meaning was lost to me. I do however see a lot of people moving, and after a second stilted announcement in English, I learn that this is in fact not my train but a train going to Zurich. More than a little confused, and now highly concerned that I was going to miss my train (it was supposed to leave at 8:44 and it was 8:40) I grabbed my backpack (luckily I travel very light) and rush off the train to check out the board for the correct platform.

This is where the real stress of the evening began. Next to the listing for my train there was no platform number, rather “Zug abgesagt”, along with some other unfamiliar German words, is scrolling across the screen. Using google translate I learn this means “train cancelled”. “WHAT!?! Can they do that???” Well, yes. Yes they can. Apparently there were storms that caused the train to just be cancelled. And no, there was no immediate alternative option presented for me to travel back home. After some frantic questions to the man working nearby, I lined up at the customer service center to hope for some sort of solution. Arriving at the front, and showing her my ticket, the woman writes up a new ticket (by hand) and gives me a print out of a train leaving at midnight, that will route me through Frankfurt, but will get me back in time for my second class and to hand in my materials to get my German visa so i can stay in the country legally!! At this point its 9:15, and I need to find a safe place to sit myself for a few hours, even though it’s late on a Sunday and most of the shops are starting to close up. I was able to find a place in a tea shop and charge up my phone a little more, but sadly this closed at 10 :/ I then spent the next hour sitting on the train platform, near some outrageously drunk people (because if you’ve forgotten it was Oktoberfest) feeling exhausted, cold, and wildly unhappy. I eventually located a Starbucks around 11, and wandered my way in, found a stool, and parked myself there hoping to have a fully charged phone for the trip and some wifi to confirm what was going on.

Feeling a little better, and perked up from my cup of tea. I made my way to my new train to try and make sure I snagged a seat, and waited. And waited. And waited. The new train was delayed 40 minutes. When it pulled into the station, there were more people than seats and it was a scramble to find an open spot. Well lucky me, I did happen to grab a seat (although it was potentially reserved for a different portion of the trip). So briefly, in Germany a lot of these trains are local, and so they can oversell a train for seats. The potential for overcrowding was not helped by Oktoberfest and a cancelled train. This first train was set to take about 4 hours, and there was the potential to be standing for that entire time without a seat. My exhaustion and stress level at this point is terribly high. I was on a train in a seat that I might get asked to vacate and thus be forced to stand for hours, going to the wrong city, hoping to catch a connecting train to the correct city that only had a 20 minute cushion, that was now very likely to be missed because my replacement train was 40 minutes late. There was no conductor or anyone who worked for the company to ask, and the train set off with me hoping to sleep a little and that the train would make up some time.

Sadly, I was unable to sleep because of the aforementioned stress. And half dozed, half kept an eye on both people getting on at every stop to see if they’d kick me out of my seat, and if the train was going to get me to my connection in time. After about 2.5 hours, I did in fact get kicked out of my seat, but luckily snagged a new spot a car or two over. At first I was super excited to just have a spot (and one that didn’t have a reservation potentially coming to kick me out of my seat). Unfortunately, I soon learned why my seat was empty, the man next to me was kind of a vile human being. He was in rumpled lederhosen with trash all on the floor and seat pocket in front of him. He was snoring quite loudly and would kind of throw his arms and end up hitting me or touching my leg (in his sleep so it was still creepy but not as awful as it might be). But of course, I didn’t want to stand for an hour and a half and was going to stick to my seat. After about 45 minutes of my trying to get comfortable, commiserating through looks with the woman to my left, the man wakes up farts aggressively loudly basically right on me, and gets up and walks away. This was just the kind of stupid miserable thing that really felt like it belonged as part of this night. For the last 45 minutes or so I had the seat to myself, somewhat dozed and was happy to see we were making up the time from the initial delay. We arrived in Frankfurt as initially scheduled. It was cold and I was exhausted and felt gross, but I was going to make my transfer! The last leg went off without a hitch, and I got back to Hamburg in time to hand in my visa materials, though given the 2 hours of sleep I managed to get I ended up having to leave class early and had just enough energy to shower, change into PJs and then slept 15 hours (and through the alarm to go to my language class on Monday night).

Despite the misery of this trip, I booked a train to Copenhagen, this time with a friend. This train was also cancelled (as I said 2 for 2), but they scheduled a replacement train immediately so none of the ticket window nonsense of the last time. The replacement ended up being an hour late, but at least we got seats together! UNTIL, the ferry crossing, where the replacement conductor for the Danish part of the trip didn’t show up. We had to board the ferry separately and try to catch a different train that didn’t show up on the other end. Ended up being delayed again to wait for this train. When it did show up we had to shove our way on to a standing, non-air conditioned car (which was about 30 minutes). This train then announced it was going out of service, but luckily we were able to quickly hop on a different one (air conditioned with a seat!) for the remaining hour and a half of our trip. We ended up getting in about 3 hours later than originally scheduled (which caused us to miss a random sighting of the Queen of Denmark with a friend who arrived earlier). Although this bit was frustrating and turned a 5hour trip into 8, it luckily was during the day, with a friend, and the authorities handling this bit were significantly more aware and helpful at getting us transferred to where we needed to go than the first time.

After all this, all I can say is I’m disappointed in the German train system, which is not as efficient or reliable as I had anticipated they would be. Thank GOODNESS English is widely spoken, and that I now have the ability to use data in Germany because otherwise all this would have been impossible to navigate. And finally, I’m sticking to planes so long as they are priced reasonably, and otherwise I’ll probably try to go with busses!

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msblue-books-blog · 6 years

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As I mentioned in my last post, I was planning on visiting the Isle of Wight. I booked my ticket in advance, since I understand traveling on a ferry is not like hotels; where you can get a discount if you rock up late.

It is not cheap to move a van to the Isle of Wight. Why anyone goes there is beyond me. If I didn’t have friends there I probably would have just said sod to the whole thing. What didn’t help was that I got the return trip for 80 quid, only to have my session time out and have the price go up to 150. Sneaky internet. Of course I didn’t pay that much, I went down to the Red Funnel office and made nice with the receptionist who helped me out and got my tickets back down to 100. Although such a price came with a 5:15AM ferry (Having spent a lot of my life working night shifts I’m at least used to such a horrible wake up time, although the ordeal was still painful).

On top of that, I have to admit, I was a bit nervous about taking the ferry. I haven’t taken a ferry since I was about ten and at the time I, obviously, was not responsible for driving, or anything much beyond nagging my parents to feed me. This time was rather different, having to drive onto the ferry in Enid; the fantastic gear dropping camper van.

I am pleased to report it was quite uneventful, although rather exciting, since, Enid being so tall, I got put right in the belly of the boat with all the lorry’s and some heavy duty crane equipment that was being moved.

I collected the animals, got myself an absurdly overpriced coffee and enjoyed watching the sun rise as I sailed across with some very unhappy pets.

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First impression; that there is a weird high vis vest trend on the Isle of Wight.

I thought at first it was just because I was seeing dock workers, but no, people out walking their dogs early, kids on their way to school. I met up with my friend in McDonalds for a coffee and everyone except us was wearing a high vis vest. I rather felt that I should get one to blend in.

My friend met me in McD’s near the port because they were heading out (to return in the evening) as I was coming in. We parted ways after a disgusting McD’s breakfast, him giving me directions to his place on the very south of the island in a village called Ventna.

I did not realize how small the Isle of Wight actually is.

Took me half an hour to get there.

Of course, the first thing I did was take Caspian and try to find the beach. It was an easy task accomplished in ten minutes and, although the sand beach is quite small, it is very nice, clean sand with a variety of places to eat and drink along the front, and a costal path running up the cliffs either side.

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I found a dinosaur maze, which I had to go in because it was advertised as both free and amazing, and how often do you find something like that?

Me and Caspian spent our first afternoon running up and down the hills and enjoying the sea air, and that night we were taken out (because Ventna is one of those place where dogs are welcome everywhere, which gets it a tick from me) to experience a night out in the village.

Now, for those not in the know (like I wasn’t before I rocked up) but the Isle of Wight, being situated where it is, i.e. directly between Brazil and the rest of the UK, is quite a cheap place to go and find drugs, are you so inclined.

It’s personally not to my tastes, but it apparently is to…. Pretty much everyone on the Isle of Wight. It makes for a slightly more relaxed atmosphere than you might find in the average pub, which was nice, although the flip side of it is it’s very difficult to understand a large portion of the people in there.

But still, the evening was nice, we grabbed some Indian food and I met some of the locals; an absurdly rude man and his lovely son, a woman known to most people because she refuses to move on from the 80’s and take her thigh high sparkly boots off, and a girl who, don’t get me wrong was lovely to talk to, but unusual to me in that she had not only never left the Isle of Wight, but was reluctant to even leave the town of Ventna.

I actually found this reluctance to be a recurring theme the longer I stayed. I started to suspect the residents of Ventna were under the influence of some sophoriphic drug, perhaps something in the water, as no one seemed willing to leave, the main town of Newport being “such a long way” (remember my comment earlier on how tiny the island is) , and I was worried about my leaving early Friday morning as I started to wonder if, in true horror move fashion, I would wake to find my tires gone and a note on my windscreen saying “It’s such a long way, now you can stay.”

This lethargy wasn’t just in people’s personal attitudes though, it was also in their professional outlook. It baffles me how anything ever gets done out there. Everyone is late for everything, shops just don’t open if they don’t feel like it, my friend openly admitted to having gone through near ten tradesman before he found one even willing to turn up. One day there I ventured into Newport (despite the apparent distance) with the aim of getting my laptop repaired. Of the four IT repair shops in Newport only one of them would take it, the rest shrugged and yawned and one of the guys was obviously so off his face I’m not 100% sure he thought I was real.

I’m sure the last man I spoke to only deigned to look at my laptop because I got quite upset, “I will pay literally anything for you to fix this,” I begged him. It was true enough, it is difficult to write and blog with no laptop after all.

He took it for an hour, inspected it and then gave it back to me, still sodding broken!! Refusing to do anything else because he “can’t figure what’s wrong. It’s broken though.” How foolish of me, to have brought my broken laptop into a computer repair shop!

Calm now.

In all fairness he didn’t charge me at least, but I’m very confused as to how Island businesses make money if this is how they all function.

But, laptop frustration aside, the Isle of Wight is actually very nice for a holiday or if you’re getting to that stage of your life when you don’t mind things moving infuriatingly slowly.

Because it is beautiful and, even though my friends have only been living there four months, they can’t go into town without getting caught up in conversation with someone else because there’s this great community feel. The weather is lovely. I’m here in the middle of October and it’s been sunny five days out of seven.

I had quite a fitness week, went on a few runs along the beach, went to my friends Pilate’s class. I almost joined in a senior’s dance event with 50s/60s music, but I left before things really picked up so I missed the best bits (like my friend realizing her knickers were too loose and dancing the whole event commando, because she’s a classy girl).

We did have another night out where we went to see live music, from a guitarist who was a session guitarist for Pink Floyd back in the day. He was really good. Although I will admit I had to leave half way through, since I had been up

since about 4 looking for a certain dog, who decided to take herself for a walk.

Now, I don’t want you guys to think I’m a bad owner. But the first evening when we went out my friend offered to let me sleep in their spare bed, exhausted from Southampton and a little sniffley with possibly the beginnings of a cold, I was quite keen on a warm night’s sleep in a real bed.

However, the catch was Caspian could not come in the house, because the resident cats were frightened of her.

It would be fine, I reasoned, for one night, as long as I checked on her first and last thing, and made sure Enid was secure and out the way.

I woke up at four in the morning feeling terrible, wracked with quilt, and ran out the house to see her.

And Caspian had escaped.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

I’ll save you the worry and assure you I did find her, or, more accurately, the dog warden did. So that was our (expensive) drama for the week.

One more thing worth mentioning about the Isle of Wight that doesn’t really fit well into this story was my friend’s ring. I didn’t realize but there are a few pearl farms on the Isle of Wight and she’d been hoping to get a ring from one for a while, and did so while I was visiting, I’d like to share it here because it was actually very pretty.

Drama and professional frustrations aside, the week was nice, sea air is always a mood lifter, and it was nice to catch up with the friend I’ve not seen in a few months.

Next time; a flying trip to London.

#travelblog I visit the most relaxed place in the whole of England and nearly get trapped there #isleofwight #animalblog As I mentioned in my last post, I was planning on visiting the Isle of Wight. I booked my ticket in advance, since I understand traveling on a ferry is not like hotels; where you can get a discount if you rock up late.

#Animals #Beach #Camper Full Of Animals #Dog #Ferry #Isle of Wight #Photos

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