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askhetaliancients · 9 years

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Britannia and her Whole Family Making Lunch

Britannia: okay everyone, let's make the best lunch today! I'm starving!

England: how about we make scones-

America: how about we not? Let's make something more edible, yay!

England: shut up you idiot!

Britannia: Ire, honey, what would you like to make?

Ireland: well... how about something with potatoes?

North Ireland: yay, potatoes!

America: then we can at MEAT!!

Canada: ... can I make pancakes with ice cream for dessert?

Britannia: Of course, poppet~

Scotland: I'll make the sausages and meat.

Hong Kong: I'll just be watching from a safe distance over.... here.

Australia: Hey, Hong Kong, why are you holding your cell phone, and the cutting board as shield?

Hong Kong: I want to record family time...

New Zealand: Australia, help me cut the kiwis.

Australia: I thought you don't eat your national animal, New Zealand.

Hutt River: he meant the fruit, big brother.

Australia: ahhhhh.... Anyways, look what I found while driving to here, a KANGAROO!

New Zealand: wait... WASN'T THIS THE SAME KANGAROO WE RAN OVER ON THE STREET???

Australia: .... yeah, so?

England: WE'RE GOING TO EAT THAT?!?!?

Britannia: Does it still have the fat and meat inside?

Australia: ... I think the meat is mixed with the oil from the car, but yeah, it still has meat.

Wy: There is no way I'M going to EAT a dead Kangaroo you crashed on the street!!!

Britannia: hmmmm... I think it's still edible though... if we wash the blood off, that is.

Wales: Mum, please think logically.

Molossia: erm... Hey you fuckers, I think the fucking oven is on fire.

America: we need to talk about your swearing- OH MY DEAR LORD, IT'S ON FIRE!!!

England: Someone get the fire hydrant, now!

Canada: ....where...?

England: It's over there- WAIT, AMERICA, DON'T SQUEEZE THE FIRE HYDRANT LIKE THAT-

*PSSHHHHHHH*:

Ireland: .... I WILL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING YANKEE!!

America: GAHHH! DON'T HIT ME WITH THE FIRE HYDRANT!!!

Canada: OW! I'm not America!!

Wales: erm... everyone... I think something is moving...

England: is that.... the food...?

Everyone: ....?

Wy: EEEEEEPPPPP!!! IT'S MOVING!!!

Sealand: IT'S ALIVE!!!

America: IT'S A NEW SPECIES!! SOMEONE KILL IT NOW- DON'T HIT ME WITH THE FIRE HYDRANT, IRELAND!!!

Ireland: sorry, reflexes.

Britannia: Don't worry sweeties, I'll protect you from it!

England: mum, I don't think it will harm us- OH MY GOD, MOTHER!! DON'T USE AN AXE IN THE KITCHEN!!!

Sealand: AHHHH!!! IT'S RUNNING AROUND THE KITCHEN!!

Molossia: MY GOD, EVERYONE, THE FUCKING MICROWAVE IS ONE FIRE!!! HOW THE FUCK CAN A FUCKING MICROWAVE BE ON FIRE?!?!?

Ireland: someone call 911 or something!

America: 911 is only in my country.

Australia: GET OFF OF ME YOU UNIDENTIFIABLE SUBSTANCE!!

Britannia: BRING IT ON, YOU WEIRD BEING!!

England: ....my kitchen....

Scotland: SOMEONE CALM OUR MOTHER DOWN!!

Hong Kong: this is glorious, I can't, like, believe I'm getting this on tape!

Hutt River: YOU'RE NOT HELPING HONG KONG!!

America: OH MY GOD, IT GREW TEETH!!! GAHHHH!!!

Britannia: SOMEBODY GIVE ME A FLAMETHROWER!!! OR EVEN A MALLET OR SPEAR OR SOMETHING!!

New Zealand: THAT'S NOT GOING TO HELP, MUM!!

Hong Kong: ... good thing I have the ambulance, the fire department, the CIA, people of area 51, and China sensei on speed-dial... I wonder if I should upload this on youtube....

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