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#anyways fuck this teacher forever and ever god i hate her. creepy ass woman
absentmoon · 1 year
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i think my old hs principal has tried to out me from beyond the grave
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artificialqueens · 5 years
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untitled melodrama (sharolet) - melody
A/N: I’m happy to announce that I wrote something for the fic challenge!! I started writing this a while ago with this crazy idea I got and BOOM i saw it was one of the tropes, and then I got the other one. I used the following clichés/tropes:  ’‘4. A and B are childhood best friends or neighbors’’ and “8. A and B reunite after a long time apart.” and hope you like it + “lesbian au” from the bonus list. @artificialmeggie thanks for beta reading, and for handling me freaking out because of this fic many times heh. - I wrote this for someone, and that’s the dedicatory to her: I’m sorry, and I admit I have blood in my hands on writing this  I just want to let you know I love you, before I fade away as the memories. 
‘’C’mon Violet, you have to sleep.’’
‘’Uh, that’s a no for me,’’ Violet replied, grabbing the pack of Cheetos beside her even if the girl near her stared at her with a serious terrifying expression.
‘’It’s late!’’ Sharon complained, patting Violet’s head.
‘’Huh, can’t you be awake? Oh, wow, you’re so tough Sharon Needles.’’
Sharon smirked and pulled her out of bed while the sound of Violet’s melodical laugh filled the room. ‘’I can, I’m only saying that because it’s time for the baby, which means you, to sleep.’’
‘’Fuck you. I’ll only sleep if you stay. Now.’’
A soft sigh was let out from Sharon’s mouth, Violet knew she was trying to find a way: she always did. Even if she seemed badass and the kind of girl who would leave her sleeping alone,Violet wouldn’t ask her to stay without telling her to go fuck herself.
‘’I can be a little rebel and sleep here, but sleep!’’
Violet yawned, resting her head on Sharon’s shoulder - Sharon’s cheeks were red as a tomato. ‘’Good, because I’m gonna need you anyways, I’m gonna need your arms…’’
‘’You want me to cuddle and protect you, don’t you doll?’’ Sharon petted Violet’s long black hair making the girl blush. Violet Chachki never blushed ever. But when Sharon said that, her cheeks turned red immediately, but she would never show it with words.
She called her ‘’doll,’’ she had the right to blush. Or, maybe she hadn’t, they were friends, she had to repeat that to herself in her mind multiple times before saying something that would distract Sharon of how flushed Violet got.
‘’I don’t need protection, but if you wanna choke me with those arms I wouldn’t be mad.’’
‘’Me either, but I think my mother-in-law wouldn’t be very happy with that, would she?’’
‘’Your who?’’ Violet blushed even more. ‘’My mom would kick your well-kicked ass. Now put your dumb arms around me and cuddle me, I’m sleepy.’’
‘’Was that soft Violet speaking? Cutie.’’
‘’Shut up, I’m cold.’’
Violet was aggressive, a true spoiled brat. She only let a few friends see her soft side with a bit of her personality of course - it was her true self when she let herself blush at what other people said - Sharon was one of them… Was Sharon one of them? She wasn’t sure if friends did the stuff she did, but she was glad anyway: glad to feel like herself when she was with her.
Glad to be herself, glad to have Sharon beside her, helping sleepy Violet to get in her pajamas. She was glad that Sharon kissed her goodnight - on the cheek, but it had its turn to make Violet red over and over again- and that her arms were around her; all Violet could hear was her heartbeat, her soft sighs - all Violet wanted to whisper was an ‘’I love you’’ and let it go out with the cold wind that blew from her open window.
But she couldn’t, so she wished she could freeze in it. Too late, Sharon was there making her warm.
[…]
A cup of coffee was all Violet needed on that rainy morning. As a teen she used to be addicted to coffee, and drank it recklessly; as an adult she needed it - otherwise she would not function. Now back in bed in her red silk pajamas, she reached for her laptop, the essay she had to write for college wouldn’t write itself, and a rainy day like that one suggested that it was time for some work.
As a college student life was like that: a lot of coffee, essays to be done before they’re due. Her fingers worked fast; she was doing it at last moment since the essay was for tomorrow. The sound of the laptop keys furiously being hit by her long black nails indicated that Violet was a fierce girl - she wouldn’t give up just because she forgot to do it; she had coffee at her side.
Violet Chachki was an aspiring model who came to the city of New York to pursue her dream. As a teenager she was told that she had danger in her eyes and could cut a bitch with grace. Violet was pretty but poison and that attitude helped her to survive. FIT was crowded snobby rich people who mocked Violet for living in her small flat and for not having a large amount of money even if she seemed to. But Violet was a fighter, and she wouldn’t give up; she was a fighter, and it reflected in the aggressive way she typed her essay.
Her dreams were too beautiful to not be followed, so the only thing she could focus on right now was on the screen of her laptop and in the words flowing in her mind. She couldn’t wait for when she finished it; she had gone for months without dating anyone or going to parties because college was too rough - fair enough, her parents spend a whole lot of money on her future, no time to be a dumb young adult now.
When she was done, she breathed in victoriously looking at her essay. Mostly, her teacher hated everything she wrote but her flawless essay about the history of fashion was more than just an essay: it was an essay she wrote with all her rage, love, and caffeine. Violet liked feeling so confident when she finished her stuff, she felt on top of world, like the queen of her own planet - she could do whatever she wanted now.
Whatever she wanted meant being a dumb young adult and swiping on Tinder. It was the last essay she had to write, and finals were far off; she could finally breathe. She only loved one girl in her whole life, when she was a teen. It was the only time Violet opened her heart for love and fully embraced it, such a shame that the girl walked away… Since the day, her heart became stone cold, and now she only looked for silly hookups when she felt like it.
Too creepy, too boring, too straight girl looking for a threesome with her boyfriend… Or Violet was too picky, or Tinder really wasn’t her cup of tea. She was about to give up when somebody caught her attention: a woman with black hair, black eyes, and plump black lips. She had strong facial features, and this look that spoke deep to Violet’s soul - that definitely reminded her of why she was a lesbian. She reminded Violet of someone, but she was so hypnotized by the picture and the instinct of liking it that she couldn’t bother.
What she thought it was most strange was the name. That girl didn’t put her name on her profile only an ‘’S’’. She thought it was mysterious, kinda sexy… Violet wanted to meet her stranger so badly, her heart almost did backflips when she saw that they got a match.
She was feeling kinda dizzy, nauseated by the feeling as her heart was trying to tell her something. Nah, it was the lack of sleep, another cup of coffee would help.
[…]
All the people didn’t matter to Violet in that moment, not even her friends waving at her from the table where they always used to sit. She was looking for Sharon, of course she was. Every day at lunch was like that, Violet’s heart skipping a beat when she found the dark haired girl and her hypnotic laugh. Her heart skipped even more when Needles wrapped her arm around her waist, in front of all of her cool friends.
‘’Hi princess, how are you?’’
But she was her friend too, right? Violet was always in this awful denial, she knew what she felt - the blush on her cheeks, the heart palpitations, the glow in her eyes every time she looked at Sharon - but being in denial was better than facing that she loved Sharon with all her heart, if she did she could let her heart be broken: Violet Chachki could never. But that love was so hard to hide, Sharon didn’t make that easy because well… Sharon was just Sharon, and that was why she loved her: she loved her qualities, and her flaws, all that composed the beautiful piece of art of Sharon Needles - a unique piece to look at, then when you looked at the details, you would fall even more and love with art suddenly.
‘’Good.’’ was all she could reply, indifferent because she was absorbed in her thoughts.
‘’Oh, okay.’’
Sharon looked away and sighed: if Violet knew how to be indifferent, Sharon knew even more. Sharon’s other friends looked at them with curious eyes, Violet knew them only by sight but suddenly she was very worried about their judgment.
‘’…Didn’t meant to be a bitch’’
‘’I guess you had a tough morning didn’t you?’’ Sharon smirked. Gods, Violet loved her smirk so much. “I’ll take the apology’’
‘’I do not apologize. Bye bitch.’’ Violet threatened to leave.
‘’Nah, I know you’re staying.’’
Violet blushed, only a whisper could be heard.
‘’I swear, when will these two get together? Oh my god-’’
Never. That was the answer, even if Violet stayed at that table and ate her lunch trying to hide her love for her friend, even if they flirted and acted like they were together, even if Violet got a lot jealous whenever Sharon flirted with another girl, even if Sharon made her feel like the most loved girl in the world with the excuse they were just friends… They never would get together.
[…]
Days later, it was a Friday night. Seven thirty. Violet looked flawlesswaiting for the mysterious girl. Still mysterious, because she didn’t reveal who she was when they started talking; it could be some creep but in a restaurant full of people it would be hard for her to do shady stuff. It was all part of a game, Violet knew well how to play it, her life was too boring to be honest - her dreams were big, but some classes in college made her want to sleep forever - a little fun wouldn’t be bad. Something about S made her heart skip a beat like she did when she was a teenagerwhen she fell in love; she liked it.
S was funny and mysterious, and vaguely mentioned she was in NY for some time off college in her hometown. In their talks she seemed to be the most addictive person Violet ever talked with. There was something about her, this aura she couldn’t distinguish… She kept calling Violet her princess which made her not think with her brain anymore. Well, she had a pretty free time; why not fall for that sexy stranger? It was just a hookup anyway. Just a silly hookup, right?
All the people outside weren’t her, Violet was starting to get impatient, after all itcould be just a prank. Violet felt humiliated, she could never be treated like that - she had a big ego, when broken it made her go insane. That’s why she treated the woman who asked for her information so badly, and almost broke her heel stomping her feet on the floor. Did she even exist or was just a daydream of her mind?
Her profile picture reminded her of the first girl she loved, Sharon Needles - and she remembered the moment so clearly, when her brain started to get confused and she had to stare at her screen for five minutes in a row. Maybe she was projecting her after all these years, Sharon was in Pittsburgh, it could never be her it was geographically impossible… Just a projection… Violet was starting to go crazy.
‘’Hey doll, found you.’’ In a second the stranger was standing next to her.
Now Violet thought she was crazy. She really looked like Sharon… But it couldn’t be, Sharon stayed in Pittsburgh, was following her dreams with her band probably, and they never spoke again. S was in New York, it was just a ridiculous ressemblance. But even her voice… No. Violet had to forget Sharon again - she never forgot her completely, in some moments like that she had to take her out of her system, but she always came back into her mind like a kind of witch. She had to do a witch hunt now, because S was in front of her looking like a goddess of the night with her black long sleeve dress.
‘’Wow you’re real, and late.’’
‘’Hm looks like somebody here is a brat, am I right?’’
Violet was quiet, the other woman bit her lips and stared at her silently getting a lock of Violet’s black straight hair in her hands.
‘’S-sorry.’’ Violet never apologized, but the goddess in front of her was just so hypnotic that the words came out of her mouth as an impulse.
‘’Good, I’m very glad to meet you. You’re even prettier in real life.’’ She kissed her hand.
‘’You too, damn that… Personality.’’ Violet bit her lips
‘’Oh boo, don’t worry I know you were staring at my body.’’
Violet blushed.
‘’…May we come in, princess?’’
S was just amazing, in many aspects she reminded her of Sharon - even in the personality. But she wasn’t like Sharon, she was… More mature than her, a crazy voice in her mind told her. It was an adult and more mature Sharon, but it was impossible - Sharon had a selfie in Pittsburgh taken two days ago, not that Violet stalked her still… Or maybe sometimes she did.
S, right, she had to focus on S. The dinner was just amazing. It wasn’t just another girl trying to get in Violet’s pants. S actually listened to her and was attractive and addictive at the same time. Violet felt like a teenage girl again to the girl talking about rock bands, babbling about cigarette brands, any random topic could be fun when S’s beautiful voice said it.
‘’What do you mean you don’t like Jennifer’s Body?’’
‘’It’s not horror, it’s a bad movie.’’
‘’It’s my favorite movie!’’ Violet pouted, feeling the wine starting to take effect in her brain - drunk Violet was a little bit whiny. ‘’It’s funny and very horror.’’
‘’Violet, sweetheart how many horror movies have you ever watched?’’
‘’Hmph, four, maybe five. Six with Jennifer’s Body aka the most important cinematic work of the century, duh.’’
‘’Jennifer’s Body it’s not horror!’’
‘’It has blood, it is horror, and my point is the only valid point bitch.’’
‘’Watch your mouth’’ S’s voice was low now. Fuck.
And more food - and wine obviously - arrived, and more topics came into the table, until they were drunk and laughing… Was that S’s hand on her thigh?
‘Why don’t you reveal your name to me?’’ Violet babbled.
Did she just saw the other girl gulp and shake?
‘’Because it wouldn’t be fun, sweetheart…’’
‘’Why not?’’ Violet pouted. ‘’C’mon you’re gonna see me like once in your life, why are you so mysterious?’’
S stopped and placed her hand over Violet’s, caressing it like it was the most precious thing in the world: ‘’You will have to find out… Don’t you like little games?’’
Violet bit her lip, she surely knew how to win her.
[…]
Usually, Violet loved parties and to be the center of attention, but in this one she was just sitting in the corner of the room with what should be her third drink for the night. Teenage parties were messy, but Violet was pretty and modelesque so everyone wanted to look like her, to party like her. In this one, the always shiny and attractive Violet was a sad figure even if looking flawless as always.
Her friends dragged her there, when she didn’t want to see the world that night. The reason? It might or not be the fact Sharon would be there, and Sharon at parties was one thing: a womanizer. A lot of girls would follow her, ask her to dance, or have drinks bought by her… And none of them would be Violet, she was in parties with Sharon before - she was always just her pretty friend, the one who helped her going home after drinking too much.
She just didn’t want to handle this, not on that night. She decided to throw denial away and accept her love for Sharon. At firstshe felt free, but with the love the disappointing truth came: it would never work. They were friends, would never be more than that; even if they flirted, even if Sharon called Violet’s mom ‘’mother-in-law’’ a lot of times on a daily basis, if she told her beautiful things when they fell asleep in their little sleepovers, was dangerously close to her in a lot of moments, made her feel more special than anyone else ever did - Violet was sure she had no idea of how much - and was the love of her seventeen-year-old life… They would never be together.
Violet used to get everything she wanted in the palm of her hands, not getting the thing she most wanted in the world was upsetting enough. Now she had to see Sharon Needles in action, with a new girl every time she blinked - basically. Why did Pearl promise it would be fun? It clearly wasn’t, but her friends would never know why; they all thought Violet was just dramatic about Sharon.
Dramatic or not, she was sitting sad in the corner with a beer - a thing Violet hated, but it was the only thing to drink at that stupid party, and Violet couldn’t bear being there sober. Feeling the awful taste it had, and repeating to herself that she deserved it for feeling things.
‘’And why is the little lady sitting alone there?’’
‘’Oh I see that she let out the drinks and the girls to talk to her pathetically alone sad friend, very good for you Sharon’’ she thought, and gave her a smirk.
‘’I’m just…’’ She sighed. ‘’Bored’’
She was bored of all that situation, bored of having feelings for her, so bored that nothing would ever happen - boredom was sad, like a funeral, her heart was a funeral.
‘’Oh Violet, c’mon go dance, they will play a slow dance song soon! There’s plenty people here and suddenly you will find a girl who is not me to baby you.’’ she pretended to sob.
Why was she like that? Jesus!
‘’I don’t want to find a random girl to dance.’’
‘’Oh c’mon, you’re literally the prettiest girl I ever saw.’’ Sharon crossed her arms.
‘’I doubt, you saw so many, “Womanizer” by Britney is totally about you’.’ Violet tried to bitch to hide the fact it was more true than she would like to.
‘’Oh don’t you dare! What’s what I win for praising you, ugh.’’
‘’Shut up.’’ she laughed.
Why was she like that? Always making her laugh, when she shouldn’t, always making her heart beat, when she couldn’t let it beat…
‘’So what do you want, doll?’’
Violet would blame it on alcohol, even if she only had three drinks. But she got up and stared at Sharon, sighing: ‘’if there was nobody in this party, only us and the music, would you dance with me?’’
Drunk Violet was clingy as she never thought she would be, or maybe was the feeling. But she blamed the alcohol, even if she couldn’t.
Sharon was quiet.
‘’How would you do it?’’
More silence, Violet thought on making up an excuse. ‘’I’m drunk,’’ she could say. ‘’I’m probably gonna bang the next girl I find.’’ ‘’I’m on that days you know.’’ ‘’Fuck you,’’ all were acceptable excuses - once Sharon took her hand.
‘’Why don’t I show you?’’
Violet blushed, now Sharon’s hands were on her waist as the slow dance song started to play in the living room. It was almost the end of the party, people were wasted, some even were sleeping - but a few people who still could stand went to dance, all of them were couples. Very different than Violet and Sharon, but the girl was so close to her, her breathing on her neck, the sound of her heartbeat…
‘’I would hold you tight,’’ she whispered, ‘’because even if you don’t admit it you’re such a cute little thing I want like to hold you forever.
Violet’s bad defense mechanism would totally tell Sharon to fuck herself, but in that moment she couldn’t… She only could sigh softly with her head laid down on Sharon’s chest.
‘’…and we don’t need to be alone’’
‘’I thought we needed…’’
‘’Why?’’
‘’This party is so full of cute girls, I’m sure you would rather be dancing with them.’’ Violet confessed, it was hard for her to not form a sentence with her superiority complex showing, but at that moment she knew she couldn’t hide behind her mask anymore, she was just so vulnerable under the party lights.
‘’I would pick you, and you know it.’’
She was so close that for one moment she thought they would…
‘’Sharon!’’
It was Alaska, probably really drunk. Alaska was one of the many girls Sharon used to go out with, blonde, tall, and wore an excessive amount of lipgloss - but Violet had to admit she was pretty. Alaska awkwardly ran to her, completely breaking the moment.
‘’I need you.’’ She pouted, and then realized Violet was there. ‘’Oh!’’
‘’No need to worry, doll. What do you need?’’
And Sharon was gone, walking with Alaska in the party, probably to some room to ‘’help her’’ - Violet knew exactly what they would do. It was like the moment they just had meant nothing to her, as all the moments they had meant nothing at all; all the deep talks, the pretty things Sharon told her, the heartbeats… Sharon did it for everyone, and would never admit she would do it for Violet - She knew that if they both faced that they felt something for each other at the same time, they would never speak again, things would be weird.
Now Violet decided to truly get drunk, only alcohol would help her to process that night. She had to dance, as Kesha said in the song that played next, with tears in her eyes.  […]
Stumbling on the stairs because the elevator was broken, drunkenly laughing in S’s arms, Violet was in ecstasy. Her kisses warmed Violet up while it rained outside in the cold night: the laugh, the kisses, the thrill. She felt something so good in S’s arms, something she hadn’t felt since she was young, something so vibing - maybe it was the alcohol speaking.
In the morning, her eyes opened to a big window and to the rain. When she turned to the other side, she saw a goddess lying by her side. S was truly so beautiful, she reminded her of Sharon over and over again - they had many sleepovers, she remembered waking up first just to watch her sleep, cursing herself so badly. But that girl wasn’t Sharon, she could watch her, she could be cuddled by her with no shame.
Except she didn’t know her name, she couldn’t be Sharon. No, Violet was totally crazy. She tried to make those thoughts go away and replace them with memories from the last night - the dinner, the kisses, S… It worked; she was smiling.
It was a pretty fancy apartment, with big windows Violet could never afford, expensive furniture, a big screen tv, a king size bed and the softest sheets she ever lied on. Violet wondered how could S afford all of it being a college student.
‘’It’s my aunt’s. She lets me crash here while I visit the city; she’s like rich or something. I bet she doesn’t even miss it.’’ S yawned. ‘’Good morning, princess.’’
‘’Oh that’s good, I was about to ask you to be my sugar mommy but I’ll have to ask her then.’’
‘’Good luck with it, to be honest even if she’s straight, I think you will get it for being so damn cute.’’
‘’Maybe you should kill her and take her money so I can be your sugar baby.’’
‘’Damn, I would like that.’’ S joked. ‘’We had quite a night, didn’t we baby girl?’’
Violet was red as the sheets that covered her body.
S petted her hair silently, and they remained like that. It was weird how Violet was getting attached to it, as something kept stopping her for being the good old cold-hearted Violet to that stranger, she liked the comfort of her arms so much. She just wanted to end that damn mystery, something was behind her ear telling her to question S about it.
‘’Now I really wanna know your name. Didn’t I win the game?’’
‘’You did… I just can’t tell you’’
‘’Why?’’ Violet crossed her arms ‘’Literally, of all reasons in the world, why?’’
‘’You know me.’’
‘’From where?’’
‘’Pittsburgh.’’
No, no, no. It couldn’t be, Violet felt like she was going to faint, the world got fast and all she could see was circles, faster and faster. Her hands were cold, and it was like she just saw her worst nightmare. It couldn’t be; she was too scared to ask.
‘’S-Sharon?’’ that was all she could say, in broken syllables.
The girl nodded. Fuck. Instead of fainting, Violet got up angrily and started picking up her clothes and getting dressed. She didn’t want to take a single look at Sharon’s face, after all those years, after all she did to her… After the day she broke her heart and made her never want to love again. She was there, she was there and they fucked. She was there and made her feel the exact same thing she felt in the past; she was there.
‘’Calm down I’m sorry-’’
‘’Explain!’’ Violet shouted angrily.
‘’I saw you gave me a like on Tinder. I had no idea you were doing college here; I haven’t seen you since you went to live with your godmother in Paris, since…’’
‘’Since you dumped me?’’
‘’If you wanna call it that…’’
‘’Keep. Fucking. Talking’’
‘’I saw you, and I already used ‘’S’’ in my profile because it’s mysterious and cool, but I tell people my name, I’m not that weird but… I really wanted to see you, and I didn’t know what you would do because of all that stuff-’’’
‘’Do you mean our feelings?’’ Violet yelled.
‘’Fuck, Violet. I messaged you, and when I saw you, I really-’’
Sharon wanted to see her, she wanted to see her. That little teenage girl feeling was still awaken inside her, she got butterflies in her stomach at the thought that Sharon Needles did all of that just to see her, but she couldn’t let herself fall again, she couldn’t.
‘’What about that Instagram picture? You really could be in Pittsburgh right now; it was two days ago.’’
‘’Do you know people don’t actually post pictures right after they are taken, right?’’
‘’In what world you live?’’
‘’Gods…’’ Sharon shook her head in denial.
‘’So what we do now?’’
‘’…I need time, to think, after all of this.’’ Sharon sighed.
Good thing she didn’t fall, she was wrong - the little young teenage Violet inside her was completely wrong.
‘’You need what now?’’ Violet was ready to lose her mind. ‘’I should be the one who needs time to think. What the fuck?’’
‘’You act like you didn’t do the same thing to me when we were freshmen You used to put a lot of anonymous letters in my locker and made me believe it was somebody else than you, and I forgave you for fooling me.’’
‘’Oh, I didn’t fool you. We were children Sharon-’’
‘’Stop being such a hypocrite!’’ Now she was yelling too.
‘’I’m not being a hypocrite, why do you always come back into my life like a fucking hurricane? You mess up my life all over, all over but…’’
‘’But what?’’
‘’But I love you.’’ Violet was crying; she didn’t even care about the ‘Violet Chacki never cried’ bullshit. ‘’I still love you, I never stopped loving you.’’
And they were kissing; it was a different kiss. It was hurtful, full of unresolved feelings all over the years, Violet was so messed up but she was never more sure of what she was doing. It just felt right, even if it was wrong. Violet started crying between the kiss.
‘’Shhh, it’s okay, please don’t cry.’’
‘’Fuck you!’’
‘’Let’s give each other a little time, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, take your time to leave and-’’
In a matter of seconds Violet grabbed her purse and mumbled a ‘’see you then’’ angrily. When she left the building, she didn’t even care if she never cried in public - she did, violently, it was her almost losing the love of her life over and over again. That was what she won for opening her heart again.
[…]
Weird was the word who could define Sharon in that day. In the weeks after the party, they were closer than ever, like they actually dated - Violet couldn’t help letting her blood boil every time she saw some girl flirting with Sharon, but she knew nothing could be said, just the fact they held hands on the way back home was enough.
But the other days were sunny in Pittsburgh, this one was cloudy and dark. On the other days Sharon laughed, on that day she was silent. On the other days they held hands back home, on this one the only thing in their way was the awkward silence. On the other days their love - or whatever they had - lived, on that one it was a ghost.
Violet questioned her, a lot of times. She was worried that something had happened to her; so silly, so naive. She saw the bags under her eyes, she saw how apathetic she was, she saw how she looked at the floor and couldn’t let it pass. So when they were almost in their neighborhood Violet stopped.
‘’Sharon!’’
‘’What?’’ She questioned.
‘’You know you are weird today, what’s going on?’’
Sharon sighed.
‘’Whatever this is I’m here for you, I’m worried’’
She sighed, again.
‘’Sharon Needles! What. Happened?’’
‘’I don’t know. The last weeks were so crazy-’’
‘’It will pass, okay?’’ Violet held her hand.
And Sharon took her hand off Violet’s abruptly. Silence again. Sharon looked into her eyes:
‘’I’m scared to hurt you, I always hurt you.’’ It was like somebody punched Violet in the face.
It was all her feelings, all the butterflies she had for Sharon felt the urge to be thrown out - with tears. She cried her feeling tears, and almost could heart the sound of her heart getting broken. Her hands were cold, and the love that one day made her feel so good violently hit her brain, hurting her, it hurt her… But it wasn’t Sharon, it was the situation.
‘’Do I bother you?’’
‘’No, what? I just don’t know what bothers me, I’m just scared of making you feel bad.’’
‘’You would never make me feel bad.’’ She cried in broken sentences. ‘’You always make me feel so good.’’
Sharon was in silence again. Violet could’ve said it in a lot of moments, but of all moments she picked that one - on that sidewalk, on that dark day, crying with no air in her lungs and cold hands:
‘’I love you, I’ve always loved you Sharon Needles.’’
And she told her everything, how and why she loved her. Violet was awful with feelings that weren’t hate, but that came out so naturally of her mouth. Her love for Sharon made all the boundaries she created for herself disappear, but broke her inside - but she was setting it free, setting it free to make herself free.
‘’…I feel so vulnerable right now’’
‘’I feel something too, I just don’t know what it is.’’
Violet was losing her mind: ‘’So why don’t we come back to what we were literally before today?’’
‘’Violet…’’
‘’Why Sharon, why?’’
‘’Because I can’t keep pretending, I can’t make myself feel bad this way, even if I feel whatever I feel for you. I don’t know what this is going to end I-’’
It was like the world was burning inside of Violet, she felt her breathing not working anymore. She was sweating, shaking, and her hands were so cold that it hurt. The tears couldn’t stop falling from her eyes.
‘’…I don’t know how to deal with my feelings, I don’t want to deal with my feelings’’
She could call her a coward, but Violet knew she wasn’t. Sharon wasn’t a coward for saying that, she couldn’t blame her, she really couldn’t hate that in that moment - and this was what she hated.
‘’But what do you feel for me?’’ Violet risked.
‘’I. Don’t. Know! I’m so messed up, that’s why I don’t want to risk.’’
Everything made her want to convince Sharon to stay, even if she knew she never would..
‘’But risking can be good sometimes… It’s okay if we mess up, I love you too much for being scared of a mess.’ Violet looked down with the heat on her cheeks, being vulnerable really wasn’t her cup of tea.
‘’No Violet, it’s not okay if we mess up!’’
‘’Why?’’
‘’Because we fucking will hurt each other even more! Don’t you fucking see it?’’ Sharon was staring to get angry, Violet blamed herself so badly, she kept repeating how dumb she was in her head.
‘’Will you get hurt if you stay?’’ Violet asked.
The answer to her question hurt more than a hundred knives stabbing her at once:
‘’I think so.’’
Silence, all over again that cold dark day.
She didn’t remember who said goodbye first, the rest of that day was a blank to her. She didn’t remember what she ate, or who she was after Sharon Needles went out of her life and left Violet on her knees, with all the love she had for her in the palms of her hands - fading away. She didn’t remember if her parents were home, or what was on TV, but just remembered the fact she didn’t sleep, she didn’t even blink properly. No words could be said; it was like somebody took her heart out of her chest and now she had to live heartless; Violet was a love zombie, a living-dead.
After that, she didn’t go to school for a couple of weeks. And when she was strong enough to come back to school, something took her down: Sharon and all of her girls. Alaska on Monday, Willam on Tuesday, Phi Phi on Wednesday… She saw her flirting with them between walks in the hallways or quick looks at lunch. She saw her tell them the same words she told her, to hold them, to feel something for them - was that the same Sharon who weeks ago told her she couldn’t deal with anything she felt?
Violet just couldn’t stand this, so luckily when her rich godmother asked her if she wanted to finish high school in Paris she didn’t twink twice - she said goodbye to Pittsburgh forever and ever. She always imagined Sharon dating one of her flings and that always hurt her so bad. She imagined her getting married one day; she imagined being invited to the wedding or seeing a picture of one of their kids on Facebook some day…
And she blamed herself for all her life, because she couldn’t stop Sharon from loving other people. Violet felt just so selfish. She felt so selfish for feeling the worse because it wasn’t her, she wished it was her beside Sharon in her garage band shows - being the girl who was there for her. But Violet was away, and Sharon was cold to her - warm to the others.
Life found its order like this.
[…] One day later, they met in a coffee shop. Violet didn’t look flawless as she always did, but a zombie version of herself: she was wearing sweats, and her hair was tied up in a sloppy ponytail. Violet had a lot of bags under her puffy eyes, which indicated she didn’t sleep because of the amount of tears she had in them. Sharon looked good as always, but she didn’t let it distract her; she knew what was going to happen.
She knew there was no happy ending. Violet wasn’t a princess needing to be saved, and Sharon wasn’t some brave knight ready to take her out of her sadness tower. Sharon Needles would never tell her she wanted to stay, it was unlikely - that kind of stuff only happened in fiction, not in real life: real life was sad, tough, and tasted like the strong espresso Violet ordered as soon as she got the menu.
Once their coffees arrived, Sharon sighed.
‘’I thought… A lot.’’
‘’And I know you wont stay,’’ Violet replied harshly, looking at her phone.
‘’Violet…’’ She tried to hold her hand.
‘’No.’’ Violet took her hand off hers. ‘’Sharon, I love you so much-” Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes.
She had to be strong, she had to deal with Sharon’s annoying silence, she had to-
‘’Please don’t leave me.’’ Violet sobbed, changing from water to wine, she couldn’t control it anymore. Everyone was looking at them, but for once in her life she didn’t care. ‘’Don’t leave me again, Sharon, please.’’
‘’I won’t, shh, shhh.’’ She held her hand again, rubbing it with her thumb.
After all of that Sharon was calming her down. Like the rainbow before the storm, except another storm would surely come. She just wanted to kiss her, to lie down her chest, to hold her hand, to laugh with her, to have the ecstasy of love back in her veins…
‘’You will…’’
‘’I won’t leave now.’’
She knew Sharon only would leave when she calmed down. Violet didn’t hate Sharon, she never did, she never could. She knew Sharon cared about her, she knew the girl felt something - as messy as it could seem. And she knew that she was there for her, she would always be. It was like they were soulmates, in a cruel world where a magnetic camp would put them apart with the strongest forces of disgrace; poor soulmates, in this cruel world where there was no happy endings, they would have to wake up some day.
Sharon heard her crying, was there for her, and once Violet accepted it, she paid the bill and left. Violet knew she was only staying a few more days in New York, and that she would never look for her. If it was just a hookup for her she didn’t know, but she really wish she kept focused on college; she just wished she was as heartless as she pretended to be her whole life.
After Hurricane Sharon there was no rainbow; only devastation, tears, and an espresso bitter as life could be. 
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alphabees-writes · 4 years
Text
Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)
Mama Mia, here I go again!
Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.
Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.
Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him. 
You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.
“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.
Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.
SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room. 
For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify
Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes
These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher
Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me 
Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly
Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it
Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it
I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped
Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?
Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her
Kendra also nails that.
A “used” house oh my god
THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.
It’s the first rap of the show, folks. 
I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore. 
The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT
Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.
Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?
KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT
Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing. 
KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too
They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB
“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same
AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF
Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job
“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you
“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”
Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!
I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?
Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?
Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again
Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!
How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...
The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him. 
Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!
I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.
OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .
Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.
I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus. 
Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine
Quinn really hates contraception, huh!
I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!
Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him
I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh
This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!
“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles
Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...
AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.
I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART
Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...
THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever. 
AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!
Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!
They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble 
I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too. 
I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue
Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition
Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!
Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!
Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...
She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...
The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups
Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???
THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...
Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...
THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING
Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...
Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.
Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?
By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10
Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass. 
I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...
Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.
The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip
I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time
Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.
So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.
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hs-1dfan · 7 years
Text
* Is being rewritten *
Fairy tale prince part 1
 Characters:
Harry & Aylin
Friday 3rd May 2013
‘’Oh, my god… yes, I’m coming stop yelling at me!’’ you screamed at your friend Anne. She woke you up from your amazing nap in this great HUGE bed. This bed was bigger than the one you have at home. You see I’m not at home right now, my friend Anne dragged me down to Amsterdam for a one direction concert, so were staying in a hotel.  I’ve known about one direction for a while, but never became a full-on fan. Anne got tickets for the take me home tour and she didn’t want to go alone, so I decided to go with her…. I mean what can happen right? We can go to bars and maybe go out.
 Suddenly you hear a loud knocking on the door again and again and again, and then you realised you were still in bed and were lost in your in thoughts.  ‘’ AYLIN GET UP… get your lazy ass out of bed.’’ Anne yelled again. ‘’ YES YES OKAY, I’M COMING!!’’ you dragged yourself out of bed and got dressed, put a little bit of make-up on. You decided not to look in the mirror because you already knew it looked like shit. You opened the door and there she was your best friend Anne… She looked a bit pissed off that you took so long to get ready. ‘’ I’m sorry okay! I needed to take a nap… I’m not ready for this fan girl stuff.’’ // ‘’ yeah yeah… just shut up. Your 19 years old WHY do you need to take a nap. Seriously I don’t get it.  NOW LET’S GO’’. The first few hours walking around in Amsterdam was alright. Seeing the nice buildings, canals, the markets. But that was not why we were walking around. You see Anne has been loving these guys ever since they were on the X Factor. She told me all about Harry, Liam, Zayn, Niall and Louis. To be completely honest the only one she talked about was Harry, showing me photos and videos. I swear I’ve never seen a girl freak out so much over a picture. All she wanted out of this day was to see one of the guys (preferably Harry). After like 5 hours of walking around in Amsterdam, drinking coffee at Starbucks (Yes Starbucks. And we all know the reason why) I decided it was time to have dinner. Anne didn’t want to at first because we wouldn’t find Harry if we were having dinner.
I found this lovely little French restaurant and asked if there was a table for two available, the nice lady led us to a table in the back. Anne was freaking out as usual because in her words; ‘’ OH MY GOD, HARRY KNOWS FRENCH, YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND’’ I just shrugged and sat down. What Anne didn’t know was that Harry was at the same place as we were. Surprisingly I recognised him, I mean I must be able to recognise at his face after seeing it so much. The fact that she freaked out near him made me giggle and laugh out loud. All Anne could do was look at me funny and ask; ‘’ uhm… why are you laughing like this? I mean its harry.’’ I said to her’’ yeah, I know love. It’s just that… uhm ‘’ And I started pointing at a table two rows on our left side. She took a glance at that table turned around quickly.  Anne started whispering; “ oh my god… That is Harry styles”
I didn’t think he heard what she was saying or that Anne was freaking out. At least that’s what I thought, I should have known better then to think that. Anne and I were ordering our food and chatting about everything and anything. We heard Harry laugh a couple of times, and to be honest it was the beautiful thing on the planet.  You know about fans who try to get a sneaky picture of Harry?? Yeah… I stopped Anne from doing that and told her to let him have his privacy. Anne understood that, she has seen what some fans can do. Anyways I’m drifting away from what I wanted to tell. After a while Anne left to go use the restroom, and I was stuck sitting by myself. One thing about me; I hate being alone in a restaurant.
 I was looking around in the restaurant trying to find something that would make me feel less awkward.  Oh… and yes, I did find something. It was sad though. I saw this nice-looking guy being dumped by his girlfriend, and she started yelling at the poor guy.
There were more people who noticed that event including Harry. Harry and I looked at each other and we both gave a weak smile. Like we both felt sorry for the guy. That was the first-time Harry and I looked at each other, and might I say it was mesmerizing and magical. He looked like a real-life prince.  All the things I’ve heard from Anne about fans being in love with him as a person. Yeah… I could see that. I might have stared at him longer then you might think is appropriate, and when I heard Anne’s heels I snapped out of my own thoughts. Anne stood in front of my perfect view of Harry and smirked ‘’ Well well well. What did I see just now? Did you stare at the one and only Harry Styles?’’ I felt that a blush was starting to creep up my face. ‘’ ssst.. no I…i.. i wasn’t. I didn’t stare.’’ Not only did I started to stammer, I also realised that Anne said it with enough volume that HE could hear it. The thing is I noticed Harry look over to me again when Anne said that, I swear I looked like his smile grew even bigger. When Anne and I were done with our dinner, we asked for the check. The waiter came over to our table and informed us that our check had been paid. I looked at Anne and said ‘’ He didn’t pay, right?’’. Anne just shrugged and got her coat. That girl was something else, first freak out over harry and then when he might have paid our bill she’s acting like it’s the most normal thing in the world.  
 We were about to leave when the nice lady who showed us our seats called us back. Not us to be honest, just me. Things like that always make me very nervous, I’m not joking. It’s like being called out by your teacher when they ask if you’ve learned any of the things they gave up as homework.
‘’ AYLIN, are you coming?????’’ Anne yelled, ‘’ Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.’’ and Anne just nodded. The woman (she introduced herself as Tess) gave me a note and wished me a lovely evening. When I walked outside I saw that Anne was in tears and jumping up and down. And I watched her jump like a bunny for a while. Don’t hate me for it… it’s just really funny. I put the note in the pocket of my jeans and asked  ‘’ what’s with the jumping?’’. Anne stopped her jumping and looked at me. ‘’ I JUST GOT A PICTURE WIITH HARRY STYLES, AAAAAAAAAHHHH. MY LIFE IS COMPLEET, I‘VE FLATLINED. HE LOOKS SO GOOD, HIS ABS ARE AMAZING, I FELT THEM… IT’S JUST OH MY GOD….’’ That is my friend in full fan girl mode, its entertaining. While we were walking back to our hotel, she showed me the picture. I’m not afraid or ashamed to say that yes, he looked stunning in that photo. ‘’ Aylin, why did that lady asked you to come back inside?’’ Anne suddenly asked. ‘’ OH… shit I forgot! She gave me a note. Haven’t even looked at it yet,’’ as I opened the note I felt two eyes burning a hole in the paper. So much for privacy.
 The note;
Hi,
I know this may look strange and even a little bit creepy. Sorry I couldn’t give it to you personally.  I saw you in the restaurant today and you grabbed my attention. I’d like to get to know you better! Give me a call or a text if you’re okay with that.. I’m going to be her for at least one more day. Maybe we can have lunch somewhere? My number is +44 1234 567890.
 Hope to see you soon!
 H.
In all honesty? I FUCKING died on the spot, excuse my rudeness. Anne did the external freak out for me. When I was laying in my bed I was thinking about if I should text him. I decided to take the plunge and texted him.
 # Aylin:
Hi! I got your note. I’d like to meet you to! My name is Aylin btw.
I was so fucking scared he wouldn’t replay. That I couldn’t fall asleep until I heard the sound from my phone. *ping* oh god my heart dropped in to my toes. I got my phone and when I looked it was just a message from Anne.
 # Anne:
So…..my lovely almost harry styles his girlfriend,  did you send him a text or not? I’d like to be updated if possible. 
# Aylin:
Yeah yeah. I texted okay? Can you please stop texting? I’ll keep you updated. Probably tomorrow.
 *ping* Anne wouldn’t reply so fast, she never does. Literally its always 10-20 minutes before she replies.
 # Harry:
Hi! Nice to sort of meet you Aylin.  I was hoping you’d reply! :)  how does 1 pm sound? We can meet at the restaurant we were tonight?  H.
 # Aylin:
1 pm sounds good! And yes, that’s probably a good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow Harry.
 # Harry:
See you then Aylin! I’m looking forward to it.
 This day… this day changed my life forever. This day I met the man that I would call my friend, lover and my own personal fairy- tale prince.
 Hope you enjoyed. It’s my first story, and it’s going to be in three parts. I have some other smut stories planned, but those won’t be done in a while. 
All the love,
M
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