people like this exhaust me to no end. if artists asking for a little help getting visibility and traction for art that you enjoy and downloaded bothers you, then you don’t actually respect artists or the work, you just want the final product. believe it or not artists are not here at your beck and call to entertain you and then be tossed aside when you’ve gotten your fill. im not even asking for money or for you to tell your friends who made your phone wallpaper. im not asking you to make a post and link my socials or anything. im just asking for a simple reblog. there’s really no work required at all, im not even gonna know if you don’t reblog it and did save it, because it’s just a courtesy thing. but you just had to announce it anyway because you wanted to make sure i knew that you don’t respect my wishes for the people who like my art to support a starving artist with the click of a button while i’m making free content for you to enjoy. (and don’t get me wrong, i wouldn’t share my art if i didn’t enjoy it, but the support and feedback are my lifeline.) if you can’t respect my asking for a single reblog enough to even pretend you care by scrolling on by, then i don’t want you interacting with my content anyway. begone

Anyhow, SHORT version of the very long abortion discourse post:

I don’t think that life begins at conception or that abortion is morally wrong. I think abortion is a morally neutral medical procedure and that there’s actually not a hard and fast line between human life and not (philosophically like the “heap” problem) but that whatever you have in first trimester is definitely not a human life (yet) and shouldn’t be treated as a potential human life rather than an actual one (in the same way that there isn’t really a hard and fast line between childhood and adulthood but a five year old is definitely not an adult and should be treated like a future adult but not like a current adult), and the first trimester is when the vast majority of abortions happen.

I can get along with people who disagree with me on that, but who think abortion should be legal, because criminalization is not the best way to handle the problem of abortion.

I absolutely cannot in any way get along with people who disagree with me about the morality of abortion and the appropriateness of abortion bans. So if for some reason you follow me and are against abortion, I think you’re wrong, but also hey there are people who are morally opposed to abortion but think it should be legal and that is a stance you can take if you’re not convinced that abortion is actually morally OK.

(And if you’re actually coming from a respect for life place rather than a sex is bad unless it’s for reproductive purposes place, I will point out that people have fewer abortions when they have access to birth control and are optimistic about their future and can afford to have a child. There are a lot of things people can do and actually do to support women/etc who want to continue a pregnancy or are on the fence but are discouraged by a lack of money or other factors.)

Still need help!

Last August, I was in a mental health facility for suicidal thoughts due to a department manager who was overworking me and bullying me when I had the gall to stand up to her and take my actual day off instead of switching my days off like she wanted. (That was my breaking point anyhow) And when I told my father what had happened and that I was scared b/c I didn’t have anywhere to go at the time, he called me manipulative. I haven’t spoken to anyone in my family in months because they’re all being emotionally abusive and manipulative. Gaslighting me and treating me like the villain. 

Eventually, a friend of a friend took me in and I was able to move in with him. But by January, I had to leave there b/c he couldn’t afford his rent anymore b/c of the pandemic and economy. 

So, I got here 7 months ago and originally I was told that I could stay as long as I needed and to look for work when I felt ready. Obviously working,etc during a pandemic wasn’t a very good option. (let alone my mental health was and still is.... A mess.) Shortly after I got fully vaxxed (which wasn’t until May) she asked me to start earning some money b/c while she wasn’t going to charge me rent, she would like me to be able to buy my own food/groceries. Which was generous and fair. I recently started donating plasma to make some money which has been nice.

Last night, out of the blue she told me that I need to try and find somewhere else to go. So I am about to be homeless... Yet again. This is the third time I’m having to ask for help and I hate it. I feel like a waste of space, like I’m unwanted trash. Because people seem to keep going back on their words and abandoning me when I need it. She gave me until the end of July, which is in a couple of weeks from now.

I have no money to fly anywhere, etc but I’m currently in Indiana. IDK if anyone can help with a spare room, etc or come and pick me up and take me home with them or SOMETHING but I’m really scared and feeling HIGHLY suicidal most days, my stress and anxiety levels are so high I’m barely sleeping and I’m really fucking scared.

I don’t have a working phone because I had to cancel that with no money. The bank closed my account b/c it was overdrawn so I can’t even do a gofundme for help.

My family doesn’t want me, I have no REAL friends apparently since these ones are kicking me out like this.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to stay positive and actually GET BETTER when this kind of thing keeps happening to me and I don’t have an actual support system to help. 

PLEASE if you or anyone you know can take me and help me..... I desperately need it. Shelters are unsafe for women and there are no women’s shelters where I am, the one’s that are here... Are for pregnant women or women struggling with addictions. Neither of which are for me. 

Please, please, please reblog this. Please ask your friends to reblog this. 

Just..... Please help me. I’m really, really scared. 

Haven't written on here in a while.

Hello everyone, I haven't been writing on my blog in a while but things have changed. I ended up having my own apartment and working for Alorica. But I got to a point where I felt like I was not progressing nor feeling like that was what i needed to do. So, as everyone knows, I want to go to school. However, I don't have a lot of money and it was going to come down between me working a full time job and paying for an apartment or paying for school. Based on my income, I cannot afford both. I decided to quit Alorica and work part time elsewhere. I felt it was best for me and myself. My original plan was to move with my dad soon, but I am trying to obtain rent money so I can stay here. I used my last check (along with my small income tax due to not working very much last year), I used to pay towards school and buy a few things I needed for my new job. This new job is also a call center, but part time and required me to get a chromebook. I sold some of my cosplay stuff to get my laptop. An investment for work as well as school. But just before that decision was made, on February 12, 2021, I injured myself. That was the weekend just before the "Winter Storm 2021" hit all of Texas, including South Texas. We actually got REALLY COLD. Like record-breaking, never happens, ever cold. And trust me, a lot of people were out of power, out of everything. People did what they did when COVID started. People were panic buying everything. It took a good week or two for the stores to finally keep up, even after five days of cold weather. Power was out for many, wifi was out for my apartment for bit-even my phone when out of service for a little bit at some point. If COVID couldn't keep people home, this nasty weather forced everyone to bunker down. We had some snow (very little where I was at) and I tried to take Elsa pictures but they sucked due to it being outside in the dark and no real snow. So, on Feb 12, I had gotten paid and also had to go food shopping, so i had already bought my food for the "month" or sooner. I try to stock up the best i can but I also don't overbuy either. (I still have food now and generally I do have 'more food than I need'" which is good. Rather have more than less, and most meats get frozen anyways. Sometimes I use the crockpot (like tonight with taco meat-ground beef) or i'll bake it. Once in a while, food will get fried up but I normally used the above. Sure, I've got microwavable meals too, but it varies. I try to have quick fixes too when I don't feel like cooking anything. Just something you can pop in the microwave or even the oven-like my chicken tenders. Or maybe a frozen pizza.

So anyhow, I am going to talk about my injured foot. So, when I arrived back home, and was unloading the groceries, I went back to get the last bit of groceries. My apartment/city are going under some construction on our street-it's either for sidewalks (maybe) or to open up the street since our street is narrow. Anyhow, the dirt there was uneven-very uneven-it's not as uneven, but I never thought I'd trip and fall like i did. Next thing, I know, BOOM! I tripped and fell over the curb. I was in a lot of pain when it happened. My intial thought was my ankle because it was the ankle I broke back in middle school. Walking was so much pain. Like majorly painful. I couldn't walk without screaming bloody murder. I told my friends that were visiting-including my drag sister, Jackie and her friend, Isabelle, to grab my office chair. I sat down and tried to elevate my foot the best I could. But at a closer look, it was more my foot and it was swollen. My Mom and Mark thought it was a hairline fracture. I had a long bruise develop on the side of foot and some brusing on the top of my foot and on the edge of my toes. I couldn't bear weight on it without hurting. The first thing I did was call a teledoc, which she advised me to get an xray and get it looked at. I refused to go to the ER for lots of reasons-partly COVID, partly due to it being expensive. I was told to go see a doctor OR visit an urgent care. I found an urgent care in Network (When I had insurance) and they looked at my foot. I did an xray and turns out, it was indeed, fractured. I had fracuted a bone on the side of my foot called the "metetarsal" but it was not the focus of my injury. It was called an avulsion fracture, where a nerve causes a fracture of a small bone on my foot. Crazy, that causes that much pain, right? The Urgent Care staff gave me a boot and crutches-and told me take tylenol plus and sent me on my way. Trust me, that is not pleasant to hear. Then, I found a doctor to do a "follow up" with. And once again, I arrive and they refer me to a orthopedic doctor-which I haven't gotten any calls YET. That doctor all she did was prescribe me ibuprofen 800mg and sent me on my way. My friend TJ says they should've done more-at both places, but it is what it is. I hope this injury isn't something that is going to mess with me forever. I healed fine from my ankle all those years ago. I do try to do things, but I am limited. I can't go anywhere without a car-and sometimes I need help carrying stuff so I can focus on manuerving with my crutches. It sucks, and I still don't know how long i'm going to be recovering. Some say it's 4-6 weeks some say longer, from what I read online. When I broke my ankle, it took me three months to recover. So, until I am cleared by a doctor, I will not perform. Do I want to? Yes! Do I love performing? Yes! But my safety/health comes first. Yes, I still go out and support my organization and go to meetings if needed. That's all I can do, for now. Once I have an update about my injury I will let all of you know. So, there is some big events coming up soon. One of them, is our Prince, Princess and Princex Ball happening the weekend of April 30-May 2nd. So April 30th is the out of town show at the bar. It will feature all the in and out of town prince/princess from all over the International Court System that make it down to our event. It is essentially a mini-coronation. I've been asked to run Friday night, and that seems a lot to ask of me, however, it's an opportunity to prove I'm good enough to be part of this organization. I've had my ups and downs in the court, but I'm still here. So, I have to send out a list closer to day for the finger foods, how I want the lineup once the event gets posted. Also, I'll be doing the lineup. There was talk of having a DJ so one of us won't have to do that. But we shall see. It will depend on what we can get done. I've been asked to be a command for Saturday night and I've got what I'm going to do, hopefully. Once I have the outfits in my hand (don't worry they already paid for months ago)

Chapter 4 of Platonic Tran!Tarty

*Note: So here is my 4th chapter of this, probably will do 1 more but I have another Trans!TJ Tyrus story in mind. Also I am mixed on this chapter so nice words are appreciated.

Also side note: If you bind be safely. Never wear more than 8 hours at a time when avoidable, never sleep in, bind loosely when exercising, and take it off when you pain.

Listen to your body! This goes for store bought and home made binding methods. I have fucked myself up with binding unsafely!

Finally you matter whether you pass, don't pass, or don't want to pass. The way you present yourself is up to you. NO ONE can tell you how to present your gender or lack there of. ♡

"We kicked that boy out because we do not have a son, but our daughter is welcome back whenever she wants."

That was the last thing Marty's mother said to him when he went with his aunt to get his stuff from his former bedroom. He tried not to let on that what she said hurt him, but damn did it hurt. All he could muster up the courage to say was "You never had a daughter." Before closing the front door.

To say it has been a weird few days is an understatement. Marty was kicked out of his parent's home. He isn't necessarily upset about not being in that house though. Being there always felt like he was living in one of those abandoned minefields. From a distance, it looked safe, there was a delicate way to step to keep everything from blowing up around it. But Marty stepped on one of those mines the moment he refused to let his mother ignore who he was anymore. No, actually he didn't just step on it, it was like he purposely found it and slammed down on it, obliterating everything that kept their sham of a family together. 

As with any explosion, Marty didn't walk away unscathed either. It hurt him so badly that his mother would rather him not living with them just because he wanted to be happy. It hurt him to know that she, and his father chose bigotry over their own kid, because that means they never truly loved him. They loved the idea of having a child. But as soon as that child did something outside their mold they created, they wanted him to go back into that mold. They wanted him to deny who he was. They wanted him to go back to playing make believe. That's not love. That's hate.

But even with these wounds he endured, good came from them. The Kippens let him stay the first night. Mrs. Kippen also helped him arrange things with his aunt. Actually  as soon as she heard what her "horrid" sister and brother-in-law did to their own child, she gladly offered to take up guardianship. So now he is living with a guardian who is loving and supportive of him just the way he is. He doesn't go into detail about why his parents kicked him out to people who don't already know because he is still not ready to come out. The only people who know are the Kippens, his aunt, and Buffy. That night also confirmed for him how much he lov...really likes Buffy. She stood by his side through it all. On top of all of this, his aunt live a street over from the Kippens. 

TJ and Marty have taken to spending a lot of time together(when they weren't with their significant others.) It was nice having a bestfriend who could relate to what you were going through. It was this reason, that the boys were sitting at TJ's dining room table, scrolling through a tablet, searching for the perfect binder for Marty. It wasn't exactly Marty's idea. He was perfectly fine with binding with bandages and sports bras but TJ found out and insisted.

"Dude, you are a runner! Binders already constrict your chest, you know the thing with your lungs in it?" TJ says sarcastically. "You should find one that is more breathable than whatever makeshift one you are using."

"In case you've forgotten, it was kind of hard to have one in my parents house. I had saved up and bought one, then my mom found it and tossed it. I don't exactly have the money for one right now."

"Don't worry about that."

"Man, you can't afford one either." Marty knew that Amber and TJ's parents weren't super well off money wise. That's why both kids have jobs.

"I didn't say I was buying it." 

"How are we getting it then?"

TJ looks away guiltily like he said too much.

"How are we getting it TJ?" Marty demands as TJ tries to ignore him by continuing to scroll online.

"I know you heard me Teej."

TJ lets out a sigh. "Okay but you did not hear this from me! She will kill me if she knew I told you. But...Buffy is paying for it. She wanted you to be safe while running and playing sports. I think her exact words were 'How can I kick his butt if he goes passing out on me?'"

Marty groans. "She shouldn't waste her money on me."

"Look man, I would just take it. Buffy cares about you and wants the best for you."

Marty gets a dopey smile on his face. "I guess she does, doesn't she?"

TJ rolls his eyes in feigned annoyance before punching Marty's shoulder playfully. "Duh. I didn't think you were that dense. " 

"Whatever, let's get back to looking I guess." Marty laughs before the boys turned their attention back to the tablet in front of them.

**********

After a while, after they decide on the right one, they find themselves sitting in TJ's basement playing video games. Both their cell phones vibrate at the same time. It's the group chat.

Buffy: Is anyone free? Wanna get some lunch at The Spoon?

Andi: Yea, Amber and I will be there.

Buffy: Oh? You and Amber are hanging out.

Amber: Yea ;)

Andi: Amber! I'm just helping her a poster board for her English class.  

TJ: Sure ;)

Buffy: Anyhow...anyone else wanna come.

Marty: I'll be there Driscoll. <3 So will TJ.

Jonah: Did you just use the heart emoji? 

Marty: Yea, what of it?

Jonah: Nothing, man. I'll be there too.

TJ notices that Cyrus isn't responding to the group chat. He is a little worried because Cyrus is always the first to replying to an invite for babytaters.

TJ: Cy, you coming? 

Jonah: ?

Buffy: Cyrus?

Andi: Maybe God phone is dead. No biggie.

TJ: Maybe. I'm going  to take a rain check on The Spoon.

TJ turns to Marty. "Hey I will catch you later. I'm going to Cyrus' house to make sure he is okay."

"Alright, maybe you all can meet up with us later."

TJ gives a half smile. "Maybe."

Marty nods and heads out. A few minutes later, TJ has his coat on and is heading to Cyrus.

**********

Cyrus felt terrible. He honestly felt like his world was crashing down around him. He knows he is being oversensitive but can't help it. He was laying on his bed, trying not to cry. He was not succeeding very well. 

He had heard his phone vibrating from the night stand next to his bed. He just couldn't find the strength to reach over and see who it was. He was too busy being self-loathing, for that. 

After a while he hears a small knock on his bedroom door. He yells out "I don't want to talk about it, dad! Please go away." Sometimes Cyrus hated that his parents were psychiatrists. It made it hard to avoid his feelings.

"It's not your dad, it's me, Underdog." He didn't expect to hear TJ's voice come from the other side of the door. The voice continues "Can I come in please?"

The blonde waits on the other side of the door for a response. He listens to some shuffling before a weak voice calls out. "Yea, come in." 

When TJ enters the room, he sees the brunette sitting cross legged on his bed. It looks like he had hurriedly tried to wipe away some tears, leaving behind puffy eyes and streaks down his cheek. TJ immediately walks the room, closing the distance between  them. He sits on the edge of the bed and takes Cyrus' hand in his.

 Rubbing the rough skins on Cyrus knuckles with his thumb, he meets Cyrus' eyes. "Cy, what's wrong?"

Cyrus looks away, and attempts to change the subject. "Weren't you and Marty having a bros day or something?" He knows how lame that sounds coming out of his mouth.

"We were. But Buffy invited everyone to The Spoon and I was going to go, but you weren't replying to my messages, and I got worried."

Cyrus looks guiltily at his phone sitting on his nightstand. He turns back to TJ, still not being able to look him in the eye. "You should of gone. I'm sorry."

"I didn't want to go if you weren't there. Like I like our friends but you were the person I was looking forward to hanging out with."

A gap of air gets caught in Cyrus'  throat, almost as if he is attempting to hold back a sob. "Why…"

"Why what?" TJ looks confused.

"Why...why do you want to hang out with me?" Cyrus says quietly.

TJ looks at the boy, confused. "You're  are my boyfriend. Why wouldn't I want to hang out with you?"

"You don't get it. I don't  know why you want to be with me, why you were even my friend in the first place. I'm awkward, and annoying, and anxious, and I'm not really worth your time… and I'm..."

TJ interrupts Cyrus by throwing his arms around him and pulling into a hug. "Cyrus, none of that is true, what has gotten into you?"

Cyrus mumbles something against TJ's shirt. The jock pulls back slightly and says softly. "What did you say?"

"I said... Kira."

"Wait you mean that one girl Buffy kicked off the girl's team?"

Cyrus nods his head.

TJ looks angry but not at Cyrus. "What did she do?" His voice is scarily calm. But he is so mad, because whatever she did made the boy he loves hurt.

"It doesn't matter, Teej. She was right any ways."

"Cyrus, what did she do?"

"It's nothing, really. I promise."

"You were in here crying and even now you look like you are still on the verge of tears. I may be oblivious but never to anything that hurts you." TJ says as place his hand under Cyrus's chin, forcing him to look meet his eyes.

"Okay, I...I will tell you. But it is stupid." Cyrus sounds almost embarrassed. "I went out grocery shopping with my dad this morning. Outside the market, Kira was there with some of her friends. I had stepped outside to get some air because my dad was taking forever. She saw me and came over. I think she knows I am one of Buffy's best friends. She started talking to me and I could tell she wasn't trying to make polite small talk. But I tried to be nice and just kind of ignore her but then she said...some mean things."

TJ whispers, "What did she say Cy?"

"She doesn't understand why you are dating me. She said that it must have been a fluke that one of the most popular guys in school is dating a loser like me. She said you must have just felt bad for me or something. And Teej, she is right. I am not very cool obviously and I am pretty annoying. Remember you even said that."

TJ thinks back to the swings. He totally forgot about that. He was just blowing off steam trying to work up the courage to say more though that day. "Wow, Cyrus, you can't seriously believe that? I'm sorry I ever said that but do you remember what else I said that day. I meant it when I said you are the only person I can talk to like this." Cyrus turns a way. TJ continues. "You know she is only trying to hurt you. Nothing of what she said is true. Cyrus please tell me you know she is just trying to get into your head."

"I mean I get that she isn't a nice person but it still got to me, you know? I wish I could be confident and popular sometimes. It's stupid. I just like you so much, and I am worried that I am not good enough for you. Like...I would understand if you found someone better."

TJ instinctive moves his hands to cup Cyrus' cheeks, pushing slightly so the shorter boy stops talking. TJ smiles at  how cute his boyfriend looks before beginning to speak. "You know, for someone so smart, you can be so dumb sometimes."

Cyrus sarcastically replies "That makes me feel so much better." TJ's hands don't leave Cyrus'  face.

"Underdog, do you think I would leave you because you are not cool enough? I have had a crush on you since the day we met. It was not because I thought you were "cool" or whatever. I thought you were the cutest boy I had ever seen. I loved saying you were with me because I could pretend for that slight moment that you were with me. Then the more we talked, the more I wanted that to be true.I love how dorky you can be. I love how sweet you are. You are truly my favorite person. I wanted to be better so I could be good enough for you.  Then when I didn't think I could like you more than I already did, you managed to make that happen, too. You accepted me without question when I told you that I was trans. You have never made me feel like less then a guy. Cyrus, you are the only person I want to be with."

"Teej, that's because you are not less than any other guy. Why would I ever treat you differently?"

"Because not everyone thinks like that." 

"Well anyone who would treat you like less is wrong." Cyrus, for the first time since TJ arrived smiles. He smiles that cute smile that TJ know is just for him.

"Cyrus, I am so thankful everyday to have you in my life. You are amazing and I need you to know that."

"I know that you  think I am amazing, and even if I don't believe that I am, that is enough for now." Cyrus leans his forehead against TJ's. The boys are now both sitting across from each other on the bed.

TJ returns Cyrus' smile. His voice is quiet adding to the tiny world they created around them,making it feel like they were the only people that existed in that moment. "Well I am just going to have to remind you every day until you know what I know about you. No one gets to make you feel bad unless they want to deal with  me."

"Thanks, not-so-scary-basketball-guy." Cyrus pulls TJs hands into his lap and absentmindedly plays with his fingers. They sit like that for awhile, just enjoying each other's existence.

************

The following day was Monday and they had school. The previous night after TJ finally went home, he had an idea. He decided two things that night.

1)He never wants Cyrus to hurt again. It killed him that Cyrus looked so broken over a bully. He wanted Cyrus to know he is wonderful and deserves the world.

2) He didn't want to be a hypocrite. He was constantly telling Cyrus is perfect just being his dorky, adorable self. But Cyrus believed the same about TJ, that nothing was wrong with him, any part of him. TJ no longer wanted to hide that he was trans. He wanted to tell the world.

He remembers seeing this episode of Glee where the cast wore shirts with their truths on them and sang Born This Way. He was definitely not about to about to sing in front of the school but the shirts were a good idea. He could come out and also show Cyrus that he is worth it. So he texted his friends and asking if they will do it with him, except he did not mention what his would say. They agreed because they wanted to make Cyrus feel better.(Cyrus had filled them in over group chat what had happened.)

His friends and him walked to school that morning, with their shirts covered. It was winter after all so they all wore zipped up coats. Cyrus seemed apprehensive, he and TJ weren't exactly in the closet but being this straight forward about it was scary. TJ took his hand as they walked and squeezed it reassuringly. He hadn't even told Cyrus what his shirt says. Everyone's shirts were a surprise to each other.

They reached the door of the school. They stand off to the side so they can show each other their hand made shirts first before the rest of the student body. They unzip one by one.

Buffy's was white with plain black sharpie letters that read "Sports Bi with Great Hair." Everyone giggles at that. "What can I say? I got great hair and like all the genders."

"I'll go next." Jonah says as he shows him his shirt. It simply says "Panic Attacks." All his friends smile at him. They know this is a big step for him. They know how embarrassing he thinks they are. 

Andi follows suit and shows her shirt. "Pan. Proud. Asian. Artist. I am more than Stereotypes." Of course hers looks the best with glitter and beautiful designs surrounding the eloquently written letters.

Marty is next. It just reads "Parent Issues but still faster than you." Both Buffy and TJ slip reassuring glances at him. He is not ready to come out as trans and that's okay.

Next is Cyrus. He lamely jokes "Mine isn't really that surprising."  He opens his coat to reveal "Anxious Disaster Gay(but I Got a Cute Boyfriend)" There are a few little rainbow hearts crudely drawn on around the word boyfriend.TJ blushes at the last part of the sentence. He smiles like a dope at Cyrus. 

"Are you blushing  Kippen?" Buffy laughs.

"Shut up Driscoll." He counters  before turning back to Cyrus. "I love it Underdog."

TJ looks back at all his friends standing around him. They look at him expectantly. He is suddenly really nervous to reveal his. He knows they will support him. Marty and Cyrus already know and they don't care. But he knows soon everyone will know. For a split second he thinks about turning away and going home and changing. But then he feels Cyrus' finger squeeze around his hand. He takes a deep breath and unzips his coat.

He is wearing a soft blue T-shirt with a metallic pink sharpie writing. He reads "Trans Boi who is In Love With Cyrus Goodman." Everyone looks in shock. Cyrus throws his arms around TJ and pulls him into a hug. "I am so proud of you Teej, and I love you too." TJ squeezes back, afraid to let go, afraid to see his friends' face. He whispers "Thanks Underdog."

When they break their hug, he looks around to see what his friends have to say. But they don't speak. Instead, he is met with a crowd arms pulling into another hug. This one a group hug. It said everything without using words. These were his friends and they loved and supported him.

While this is happening, Marty thinks to himself that he wants to tell his friends soon, just not today or as publicly as TJ.

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

@abg-blah @kippens-a-goodman

*Roose Bolton voice* I'm dissapointed in you

HEY ANON SORRY FOR THE LATENESS BUT I’M SURE YOU SENT THIS FOR SPRINGSTEEN ANALYSIS, RIGHT? ;) then sure let’s have something! what can I get for you with the roose bolton voice, hm…

OH OKAY LET’S GO BLEAK POLITICAL.

so: SEEDS!

Seeds is an outtake from born in the USA and was only properly published in 1998 when it ended up on tracks (a four-cds compilation of outtakes that still doesn’t even fucking scratch the surface of what he has in the vaults bruce come on take the rest out), but as a lot of other bruce songs that were never technically published on official records it has enjoyed a very lively life on stage/live especially when our man gets political. we should probably put as a premise, other than that, that this was one of bruce’s first political pieces following the vein that would then end up in bitusa, tom joad, youngstown and so on, and as a lot of those songs it focuses on poverty/unemployment in the us of a. it’s not a coincidence that it was out of the bitusa sessions post-nebraska, but then again nebraska was his first record with Serious Political Themes and half of the original songs ended up on bitusa anyway so those records are pretty much tied together.

also, seeds has been a favorite throughout the bitusa tour (the one where bruce dissed reagan) where it was played along the title track, a cover of war that you can find on the live 75-85 box set, johnny 99 and atlantic city. as in, basically it gave you a pretty straight bleak picture of the current times, and it came back with a vengeance post bush-jr and I’m 100% sure it’ll show up again when he tours post-trump.

anyhow, as I think I’ve bored you enough with the technicalities, let’s move on to the actual thing. so, what do we have?

Well a great black river a man had foundSo he put all his money in a hole in the groundAnd sent a big steel arm driving down down downMan now I live on the streets of Houston town

so, we’re starting with a bang. first thing, the song’s title is seeds, which should suggest us that it’s about either agriculture or farmers.

except that it opens saying that ‘a man found a great black river’, and at the end of the stanza we find out that we’re in houston, so presumably around texas, so the black river that then turns into a hole in the ground with a big steel arm driving down down down (which considering the fast rhythm of the song gives you anxiety just hearing it) means that someone found oil and started drilling it in texas and as a consequence the narrator lives in the streets of one of texas’s biggest cities, so we can suppose that this guy was a farmer, he lost his land because of the oil drill and now he’s homeless. NICE START GUYS! but let’s go on.

Packed up my wife and kids when winter came alongAnd we headed down south with just spit and a songBut they said “Sorry son it’s gone gone gone”

next stanza, we find out that our guy has a family that he had to pack up when winter came along, so either his land was dead because of the oil drill or he couldn’t support them anymore out of farming. now, this could either be set in texas or not, but since in the eighties a lot of people from the north who lost their houses or land and used to be farmers or steel workers or so on went to texas because it was said to be someplace they could get jobs (again I know I say it every damned time but if you read dale maharidge’s somewhere like america or journey to nowhere you’ll see exactly what I meant), so either he went to texas from a nearby state or he was in northern texas and went down south, but the point is: he lost his job, he was a farmer (so not in a good position to start from since farming hasn’t made much money for small owners for a while) and now he’s gone to texas with a spit and a song (ie: hope), but as the song’s music keeps on being fairly bleak, the only answer he’s given is ‘sorry but it’s gone, gone, gone’, as in: if he wanted work, there isn’t any.

Well there’s men hunkered down by the railroad tracksThe Elkhorn Special blowing my hair backTents pitched on the highway in the dirty moonlightAnd I don’t know where I’m gonna sleep tonight

If we thought that was bad news, though, we’re just getting started, because not only our dude isn’t the only one in that same situation (men hunkered down by the railroad tracks, referring to the fact that in the eighties a lot of people had started riding trains again like in the great depression so they slept near the railroad - the elkohorn special is the name of a train), in tents along the highway in the *dirty* moonlight which suggests you a fairly bleak, sad picture. also, he doesn’t know where he’s going to sleep tonight, which means he doesn’t even have the tent.

Parked in the lumberyard freezing our asses offMy kids in the back seat got a graveyard coughWell I’m sleeping up in front with my wifeBilly club tapping on the windshield in the middle of the nightSays “Move along man move along”

solution: sleeping in the car, since they don’t have anything else. so, the guy and his family try to sleep in the car in a lumberyard with his children being sick (graveyard cough, suggesting that it’s pretty damned bad), except that they can’t even do that because the police shows up and tells them to leave, which was apparently common practice in texas at the time (again: same thing happened to the reporters in the aforementioned book because they had a car with ohio plates…), so they can’t stay and have to *move along*, but to where? we just don’t know.

so: the guy used to be a farmer, lost his job, went down to texas to look for work with his wife and kids, didn’t find any, was treated like crap and can’t even sleep in his car with his family, the alternative is tents along the highway or a railroad in winter, his kids are sick and there’s no hint of salvation anywhere nor of government help nor… really much of anything.

Well big limousine long shiny and blackYou don’t look ahead you don’t look backHow many times can you get up after you’ve been hit?

now, that’s it for the backstory - we don’t know where the narrator ends up or if he finds work. but we learn his opinion. first of all, he talks to a generic ‘big long shiny black limousine’, which we can automatically assume means that he’s talking to someone rich (or the idea of someone rich) who could afford such a car (he certainly can) accusing them of not looking ahead ( = not seeing the consequences of their greed, which we can tie back to the oil drill in the first part that started our guy’s problems) and of not looking back ( = can mean that they don’t care for who comes behind them in wealth or that they don’t remember not being wealthy or both), and then asks them, how many times can you get up after being hit, as in, how many times could you fall on your feet before you end up like me?

we just don’t know, but probably more than the narrator… though one supposes the narrator is hoping the time comes for them, too. that becomes veery clear in the next part:

Well I swear if I could spare the spitI’d lay one on your shiny chromeAnd send you on your way back home

if he could spare the spit (which suggests he can’t, so maybe they barely even have means to drink and eat) he’d use it to spit on the limousine ie what stands for enormous undeserved wealth that a) the narrator will never obtain, b) caused the (economical) situation that brought the narrator to misery, so we also can see that the narrator is absolutely aware that his poverty is tied with the fact that rich people don’t care for the likes of him and would throw him under the dirt in a second, nor care if he can’t support himself anymore. and then he’d send the rich person back home, if he could. but he can’t.

and that’s bleak enough, but then we get to the last part and it gets possibly worse:

So if you’re gonna leave your town where the north wind blowTo go on down where that sweet soda river flowWell you better think twice on it JackYou’re better off buying a shotgun dead off the rackYou ain’t gonna find nothing down here friendExcept seeds blowing up the highway in the south windMoving on moving on it’s gone gone it’s all gone

at this point, the narrator is addressing someone else - someone named jack who could be anyone as it’s an extremely common name - who might want to go south and tells him not to. going south means leaving a town where the north wind blows (so where it’s cold and there’s nothing for them) to go where that sweet soda river flow which paints an imagery of a river overflowing with sugary refined drink… from which poor people can’t serve themselves anyway, and according to the narrator if that is the plan, then you’re better off buying a shotgun ie killing yourself before you go south because there is nothing down there except seeds blowing up the highway in another type of wind, so the seeds they might have planted back home are getting wasted along the highway people sleep on… and everything is gone and they have nothing left.

and the fact that it’s this bleak is probably why it didn’t end up on the record proper (admittedly bitusa has a slightly different feeling so it probably wouldn’t have fit given that it’s a lot more raw and musically angry than any other song on that record except maybe bitusa but the electric version lures you in with the beat and you don’t realize how angry it is until you hear the original imvho), but it’s sadly a fairly accurate portrayal of how things were going bad economically for all the people laid off without a second chance to find something better in the late 70s-early 80s. too bad that things haven’t changed and this piece has stayed pretty much relevant even these days.

thank you anon with the roose bolton voice, I hope you enjoyed the fruits of your disappointment ;)

Health insurance HELLLLLLPPPP please?

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I was recently on my fathers health insurance and now that i have turned 18 i cannot be on it anymore, i have a good job and make a decent amount but not enough to cover like $100 or more a month, due to my car payment and other bills i have, does anyone know what i should do? or what a good health insurance company is? that can help me... thanks for all the help! I would recommend one to try this web page where one can compare quotes from the best companies: http://PROTECTIONQUOTES.NET

Powerful Single Mom Here

Being a single mom doesn't mean we (single moms) chose this lifestyle. The lifestyle of a single mom isn't easy, whenever that time comes. It's a struggle with everyday life events and even trying to understand how I arrived here. I have so much pride as a single woman that I don't want to ask family for help or even the government. If one gets help from the government it really seems like you are looked down upon or maybe it's just my own subconscious. Either way, I am writing this article to tell my story of how a single mother can be empowered and be powerful. I am still a single mom who owns the car I wanted, the house I wanted and also the retirement setup that I needed. Just by not quitting when people underestimate you or reaching for the stars when people say it's just a dream.

What Happened?

I did not choose to be a single mom. I had two small kids when I started to notice my husband was not coming home early and didn't seem to care about family events much anymore. I don't know if he was tired of the married life, or if I just became boring.

I have heard it said that a woman leaves a marriage years after she should have but a man only leaves after he has another woman lined up. I think that was probably pretty accurate for us. Anyhow, he decided not to do the “right” thing and take care of all of us, and instead decided to move to Sweden with his new redhead. I had two kids to feed.

A Long Road

It would have been easy to get government assistance, but I did not want to go that route. First of all, I knew it would be consistently not enough to live on and we had no other support. Second, I just did not feel good about it.

It wasn't easy, but we did it on our own (mostly). By then my oldest was able to babysit, enabling me to work full time, and I also went back to college. I was more thankful for online classes that you think I was. Really, they were a godsend.

Yet my credit was in the toilet as a result of too many bills and not enough money, and the kids and I were all under a lot of stress. Listen, if it sounds not fun it was even more not fun than that.

Once, my car completely broke down. I mean, it died the death. I visited the local car dealer and literally left the lot three times before I finally got the tiny payment I could afford. It sounds unreasonable, I know, but I really could only afford $120 per month plus car insurance, and it was that or live in the car and move out of the apartment!

Digging Out

But after a few years, I graduated with honors from a really good small university in town. I got a better job and started over. As my income went up and I paid bills more consistently, my credit score went up. As soon as I could afford it, I bought a more reliable car.

I actually really like this car. It is not new but it is very nice and great on gas. It is the car I want and one that I feel is safe for my family... and my family is everything.

Shopping and Necessities - the Single Mom Way

I generally shopped at second-hand stores and yard sales for furniture and clothes; except when school started and at Christmas. The kids got new shoes and something new to wear to school every year along with their school supplies. One or two things they really wanted were always under the tree.

I tried cutting coupons but eventually switched to buying mostly store brands. They were generally cheaper than the other items with coupons and I did not have to deal with expiration dates and small print. The exception to that is the occasional open store coupon which allows $10 off $50 or something similar. I always seek those out.

Buying My House...Yay!

I hated having to sell our house after the divorce. After almost 10 years I was finally able to buy a house again. If you want to buy a home, be sure to find out about special programs. There is some terrific rent to own homes out there. If you qualify for a USDA Direct home loan, you will not believe the benefits of that program. I talked to my San Antonio real estate attorney, who gave me pointers and helped me figure out how I could buy a home again.

My bank account was still not very big, but by that time I had been making on-time payments on all of my obligations for years and my life and my credit score were healing. I bought a decent sized home in a rural town and am very happy here.

What You Really Need To Know

I learned a few things along the way. One of them is that people really want to help each other. I had to learn to say, “yes.” Many kind people were generous to our families in those days, such as the neighbor who consistently watched my kids for free so that I could attend school and work. It was a blessing but it hurt my pride a bit. However, I hope to pay it forward someday.

Set your goals. If they are unreasonable but necessary set them anyway. I got a car payment I could afford because I demanded the unreasonable due to necessity. I asked questions until I found a way to buy my house. Determination and continuing to search for answers to your problems will eventually yield the answer you seek.

Don't give up. Things may really be as terrible as they feel but the situation is transitory. Things will change. They will get better.

In the same vein, enjoy times of happiness in the midst of adversity. Make sure to read a book, or walk on the beach, or play with your kids and remember to relish those good moments. They make the other parts easier.

Years after my divorce, I am a much sturdier, more self-confident and capable woman. I am happier. Yes, I can really say that I am happier than I have ever been. My kids are grown, and I help them as much as I can. I have my house. I drive a great car. I am saving for my retirement years. Maybe I will get to see Sweden myself someday.

I did it.

You can do it too! 

Escape: Not in Love

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Author’s Note: Roxanne finds herself talked into touring with the cover band. Peter finds himself pining after a Terran. But he's not in love. Continuation of Escape

Roxanne sat at the light table in the back of the tour bus, carefully hand lettering the posters for the next four concerts. Across the table from her, the bass guitar player, Alex, was colouring her doodles in with copic markers before dropping the finished posters into the box that was being sent to the printer as soon as they made it into New York City. They worked in companionable silence. From the front of the bus, Roxanne could hear Jinx tapping on the wall while Ken, the guitarist, noodled on his acoustic.

“I know you didn’t want to do the big venue concerts in this tour, Rox, but I think kicking off your tour big like this is going to be really awesome for the foundation,” Alex suddenly spoke.

“Yeah?” Roxanne wasn’t really paying attention.

“There are a lot of kids who are going to benefit from the proceeds of this tour. I’m glad you decided to start it out with a huge Pixie Stix concert,” Alex clarified.

“I’m not the only one who made the decision, Alex.”

“No, but you are the person who was adamant it all be small venues. I think the exposure is going to help the foundation get a really solid start.” Alex went back to colouring.

“It wasn’t until I read about how poorly Americans are showing in the sciences that I realized we needed to throw as much money at the problem as we could. It changed my focus. I’m glad you threw the research my way, Al,” Roxanne shrugged.

“So my kid sister was telling me about how Stark Industries is sponsoring a women in sciences program now. They’ve got buy in from a pile of other STEM companies as well. She applied for one of their summer camps. It sounds pretty rad,” Alex segued. Roxanne’s eyebrow quirked.

“Oh?”

“Maybe you should get Jerry to contact Stark Industries and see if we can’t work together. Stark is a billionaire, right? If we could get him to throw a few zeroes on the back of the foundation’s bank account it could do some real good,” Alex suggested. Roxanne shrugged.

“I don’t know. Stark’s kind of a dick, don’t you think?”

“TV always makes famous people look like dicks. Remember when you and Jinx split?” Alex reminded her. Roxanne made a sound of disgust. Every TV tabloid show had speculated on what and why they were divorcing, going as far as to make up details when they refused to release a statement. When Roxanne finally lost her temper at a paparazzi reporter who’d been stalking her, even people in the know started freaking out that the band was going to split. She rolled her eyes.

“I guess. I’d rather see what we can do on our own, you know? Star-Lady and the astronauts was a pet project. If we can start a grassroots campaign to improve educational opportunities for all kids, on our own, we’ll have started a dialogue within the music fan base. Maybe that seems narrow-minded, I don’t know,” Roxanne sighed. “I just like the idea of us starting something without corporate sponsorship.”

“Stark has been a questionable company in the past. We don’t want to alienate potential supporters,” Alex agreed.

“Besides, that dude is always looking for a sound bite. He’d probably show up at all our press and divert attention,” Roxanne pointed out.

“Solid.” Alex slid the last poster into the box and capped his markers, carefully returning them to the wooden box he stored all his art supplies in. Roxanne stretched and folded the table away, pulling the mattress across it.

“Here’s the part where I kick you out of my bunk so I can get some sleep. I’ve been crazy tired the past few weeks,” she yawned. Alex tilted his head in concern.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just feeling run down. There was a lot more braining that went into this tour. I had to micromanage Jerry to get him to back down from insisting on the huge stadium tour idea, and he refused to try to source more affordable and ethical vendors for memorabilia and and and.” Her complaint was stifled by another yawn.

“Take your vitamins, Rox. This is going to be a busy four months.” Alex teased.

“Get out of my bunk. We have a week off at the midpoint. I’ll rest up then,” Roxanne shouldered him toward the door of the tiny room. Alex raised his hands in surrender and backed away.

“You won’t be resting then. That’s birthday week!” He protested.

“Out!” Roxanne exclaimed, pushing him past the door, and pulling it shut.

“Roxy Rain! Tell us about the line-up for tonight’s concert!” Carmen, the radio DJ, was too bubbly, too excited. Roxanne smiled and adjusted the headset on her ears.

“We’ve got representation in Star-Lady and the astronauts from Pixie Stix, Dr. Schrödinger’s Kitty, Chainlink Fence and Spleen, so we decided for the kick-off concert, we’d each do a 30 minute set. Then Star-Lady and the astronauts will wrap up the concert with two half hour sets. So it’s a good long concert, well worth the price of the ticket. And you’ll be supporting the newly founded Star-Lady foundation for Science education.” Roxanne took a long swig from the coffee in front of her when she finished speaking.

“That’s ninety minutes of front-of-the-stage rocking for you, Roxy. Sounds exhausting!”

“It’ll be worth it. We’re doing 4 big city concerts on the tour; each one will feature one of the bands from tonight, plus Star-Lady and the astronauts. But for the most part, the Star-Lady concerts are going to be in smaller venues across America, and the profit from those concerts will be put back into science education in those communities. It’s going to be a busy four months.”

“Sounds like it’ll be worth it. What makes musicians want to give to science education?” Carmen asked.

“We’re all scientists first. Music was a passion that paid off in a big way for each member of Star-Lady and the astronauts, but the sciences are where we cut our teeth, and where we’d all planned to have careers,” Roxanne explained. She knew she would be explaining the same thing in every city they visited for the next four months. And she was already exhausted. She plastered a smile on her face.

“Any chance you’ll drop us a hint on what you’ll be playing tonight?” Carmen pressed. Roxanne laughed and picked up her acoustic guitar.

“Most of what Star-Lady does is cover music, but this is an original tune. It’s being released next week and as with everything from the tour, the profits are going to support science education and programs in communities across the country,” Roxanne explained. “You’ll have to forgive my playing, I don’t often pick up a guitar anymore, so I’m a little rusty.” She picked at the strings to make sure the guitar was tuned, and strummed a couple of practice chords. Carmen cocked her head and narrowed her eyes.

“Wait, before you start,” she interrupted. “This is an song that hasn’t been released? So you’re giving us a world premiere?” Roxanne pulled a face and giggled.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she nodded.

“Okay, folks, you’re hearing it here first, Roxy Rain from Pixie Stix and Star-Lady and the astronauts with the world premiere of the first single from the Star-Lady and the astronauts album!”

Roxanne could feel herself flushing and started playing the guitar again. She cleared her throat and winked at the DJ, who was nearly vibrating with excitement.

“I haven’t played guitar for anyone in ages. So everyone listening needs to remember, I’m the singer, okay?” She laughed self-consciously, and took a deep breath. “Hey spaceman, won’t you take me for a ride?” The words slipped out and the gentle musicality of Roxanne’s acoustic voice silenced the room. She was used to that. Any time she did acoustic work, and didn’t have what she called her ‘rock star voice’ amped to eleven, people fell silent. It was like they forget that she was actually a musician, if that made any sense. It didn’t to her, but she still noticed it. Her fingers stumbled on the guitar, but her voice was carrying the song anyhow. The guys had all said it was a strong melody when she’d written it, and there was very minimal accompaniment on the release or in practice.

“That’s a love song, Roxy,” Carmen commented, her eyebrow raised. Roxanne laughed.

“Sure. Here’s the thing. My background in the sciences has been esoteric Pixie Stix trivia for years, but I am a scientist at heart. And my specialty is space. Of course I’m in love with the notion of space travel, and seeing past our atmosphere. There is so much more than this little earth out there for us, and we have no idea what it all holds,” Roxanne shrugged.

“So if a spaceman offered, you’d tag along on an intergalactic adventure?” Carmen smirked, pressing for an answer.

“In a heartbeat,” Roxanne laughed. “That’s not realistic though is it? I’d have to wrap the tour, and plan to be off the grid for a while, get my affairs in order. There’d be too many questions otherwise, right?”

“Well, we know there is other life out there now,” Carmen led.

“Sure, we know there’s life out there, but is it life that is compatible with ours? So far, the aliens that have visited earth have been largely out to destroy it,” Roxanne stated. “Not exactly compatible with my romantic notions about travelling the universe.”

“They say that Thor is an alien,” Carmen waggled her eyebrows. “I’ve got some romantic notions about him.”

Roxanne couldn’t help but laugh. “Fair enough. But the aliens that invaded New York? Or the ones that hit London? They don’t really strike me as the kind that would like a human tag-along. In the end, it’s a song, and sure, it’s romantic. Because music is supposed to make us dream about the extraordinary.”

“Like aliens who are hot like Thor coming to sweep you off your feet,” Carmen determined.

“Exactly,” Roxanne laughed.

“I love the song, Roxy, I love the album. I love the motivation for the tour and I just love everything about you. I can’t wait for the concert tonight. I’m looking forward to following the tour and seeing all the awesome science stuff you guys are able to purchase to support education. I wish you all the best,” Carmen started to wrap up the interview. “We just released some tickets for the sold-out opening night of the Star-Lady and the astronauts tour tonight, and if you don’t have any luck at the box office, stay tuned because we are giving away three more pairs of tickets with backstage meet and greet coming up on the half hours. Thanks again for coming in, Roxy Rain!”

“Well thanks for having me. It’s been fun. See you tonight!” Roxanne waited until her mic had been turned off before she rose and packed up her guitar. “How’s the ticket give away been going?”

Carmen finished flicking some switches on the console to run the next music set. “It’s been cool. People are really excited. Last week, everyone who was entered to win tickets had to donate to an education program for underprivileged kids. We wound up raising over $3500 for a science program in the Bronx. Then Stark Industries matched it. Which was cool.”

“That’s very cool. I heard something about a women in STEM initiative that Stark Industries started,” Roxanne nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve got the info on it in my email. Want me to forward it to you? We’ve been giving it a lot of airtime. It sounds solid awesome.”

“Yeah, that would be cool,” Roxanne yawned. “Man, I’m sorry. I am already so bagged and the tour hasn’t even started. I’m going to need lots of B12 over the next few weeks.”

“I hope your bunk is comfy,” Carmen teased.

“That is where I am headed right now. I’ve got time for a catnap before I need to carb up for the show,” Roxanne laughed. “I’ll see you at the meet and greet. It was nice to meet you, Carmen.” She made her way out of the studio and down to the waiting driver, who returned her to the stadium. While set up continued, she pushed to the back of the tour bus and crashed in her bunk, becoming dead to the world.

“Rox, come eat, love,” Jinx shook her shoulder. Roxanne rolled over in the dim light of the bus and rubbed her eyes.

“It’s dark,” Roxanne mumbled.

“Yeah, dinner’s ready, you have thirty minutes before you need to be in hair and make-up. Meet and greet in 2 hours, concert in three.” Jinx ran through the itinerary quickly.

“Why did you let me sleep so long?” She stretched and yawned.

“This is the third time I’ve been in to wake you, love. I told you that you needed more sleep. You can’t start this tour run down, Rox.” Jinx was scolding, but his tone was gentle. It reminded her why she’d married him. She scrubbed her hand down her face and nodded.

“Straight to bed after the concert tonight, I promise.” She held her hand across her heart.

“Come eat then.” Jinx pulled her to her feet.

“In a heartbeat. That’s not realistic though is it?” The voice crackled across the radio and Rocket rolled his eyes.

“How did you manage to find a smart one, Quill?” He asked, fiddling around with some strange components.

“I didn’t find – you know, forget it, you wouldn’t understand.” Peter pushed out of his seat and stepped over to the radio, switching it back over to the iPod.

“Understand what exactly? That a month after leaving Terra we’re back in orbit over it, despite having nothing of value for us?”

“There’s value in Terra!” Peter exclaimed.

“There’s a girl on Terra, Quill, that’s not exactly our line of work, unless you want to add sex-trafficking to our list of potential jobs?” Rocket snapped.

“What?” Peter was confused.

“The way I see it, Quill, we’re back here because of that woman. And you said she was nothing special when we left Terra last month, so what gives?” Rocket demanded.

“Maybe she is something special,” Gamora suggested. “We haven’t been further than a quadrant away from Terra since we left.”

“Or maybe I’m homesick!” Peter protested.

“Explain why we’ve been listening to her radio interview for the past fifteen minutes?” Gamora demanded. Peter huffed out a sigh of defeat.

“You know what? Screw you guys. Maybe I would like to see her again!” Peter threw up his arms. “What does it matter?”

“She wrote a song about you, Quill. She wants to see you again too,” Gamora pointed out.

“That song was not about Quill. That song was about metaphors,” Drax protested. Gamora rolled her eyes. Peter threw his hands up in defeat and stalked toward the galley.

“It’s a good thing Rocket knows how to use the google,” Gamora sighed. “He managed to win you tickets to the concert tonight.” Peter froze between rooms, and turned slowly back to face the rest of the crew.

“What?”

“You can pick it up at the stadium box office,” Rocket confirmed. Peter’s eyes narrowed, disbelieving what he was hearing. “What? It’s why we’re here. It’s why you’ve been irritable. Go see the girl, get her out of your system, and then we can get back to loot. And credits.” Rocket watered Groot’s pot as he spoke.

After a huge coffee and a refill, Roxanne was feeling slightly more human. She devoured the steak and pasta that Jinx dropped in front of her, and made her way to hair and make up. She flopped down in the chair, nursing a third enormous coffee, feeling the caffeine work its way through her system.

“Roxy, meet and greet in ten,” Jerry leaned in through the door. Roxanne nodded and waved him off. She just needed to get dressed, and she had plenty of time to do that between the meet and greet and the stage call. She made her way out to the backstage fan area, still holding her coffee cup. She had on a pair of patterned leggings and a long t-shirt. It wasn’t a look she ever wore on stage, but she suspected she’d be seeing more of it in her fan base after the concert. The DJ from earlier was wrangling fans, and waved at her. She waved back, and then realized that Carmen was actually waving her over.

“Heya?” Roxanne met her halfway between the fan line and where she’d been standing.

“There’s a dude here to pick up tickets he won but he’s got no ID. Claims he knows you and you could ID him,” Carmen looked awkward.

“Oh yeah? What’s he say his name is?” Roxanne walked with Carmen back to the pick up area.

“Roxanne!” She heard a familiar male voice call. Her eyes narrowed and her head snapped around to where the voice had come from. It was Peter. She smiled broadly.

“This the guy?” She asked Carmen. Carmen nodded.

“Peter Quill?” Carmen looked down at her clipboard.

“Yeah, I know him,” Roxanne lengthened her stride and headed toward Peter. She threw her arms around him across the metal barricade separating the unsecured area from where she was standing. “You are a sight for sore eyes, Pete.”

“You look amazing, Rox.”

“Professional hair and make-up.” She waved it off, pulling away. She nodded at the security guard, who allowed Peter to pass through the gate into the secured area. Roxanne slipped her arm into the crook of Peter’s elbow and led him back to where the fans were. Roxanne tugged Peter’s shoulder down to whisper in his ear. “I’m not gonna have much time to catch up, Pete, but I’ll let security know you can stick around after the show.”

“I’d enjoy catching up,” Peter smiled. Roxanne winked and let go of his arm, to walk over to the fans waiting to meet her. Carmen was talking to them as she approached, and Roxanne glanced over her shoulder, looking for the ‘astronauts’. She saw them over near a table of food, looking uncomfortable. She reeled around and headed over to her bandmates.

“Guys, you need to relax. These people are here for you. And they’re science geeks. Check out the t-shirts,” Roxanne pointed out the front row of fans. There was a Carl Sagan t-shirt, a periodic table t-shirt and one that made a pun about covalent bonds that sent the drummer into fits of giggles. “Let’s go meet some people, shall we?”

Roxanne led the group over to the fans and waited for Carmen to bring everyone in. They cycled through the group, chatting with everyone, and eventually the rest of the band got more relaxed. Just as they were wrapping up, Carmen approached them again.

“Your friend is hot.” She gave Peter a once over. Roxanne smirked.

“Is he?” Roxanne was purposely vague.

“He is. I bet you’d run away in a heartbeat if he was your spaceman,” Carmen teased, winking. Roxanne let out a loud, surprised laugh.

“You have no idea,” she muttered as she walked toward Peter. She very carefully didn’t touch him on approach. “You look good enough to eat, Mr. Quill.”

Peter arched an eyebrow. “I don’t think we have time for that right now, Roxanne.”

“True story. Let me grab you an access pass, and show you the dressing room. You can come and go from the show back then.” Roxanne led him over to Jerry. “My friend needs a pass, Jer.”

“Roxy, really?” Jerry gave Peter a once over. “You’ve never been one for groupies.”

“He’s not a groupie,” Roxanne argued. Peter shook his head from behind Roxanne.

“Totally a groupie. Nice to meet you.” He offered his hand to Jerry. Jerry shook it, raising an eyebrow at Roxanne.

“Not a groupie. I’ll grab you that pass.” Jerry flipped through his clipboard and pulled a pass out for Peter, handing it over and then hustling off to do something.

“What did he mean?”

“If you were a groupie, you wouldn’t have shook his hand,” Roxanne informed him. She glanced around and saw that no one was watching and pressed a kiss to Peter’s lips quickly. “See you later.”

The concert went better than Roxanne had anticipated. They were called for three encores and the preliminary tally on the fundraising from merchandise was twice what had been anticipate, Jerry had announced as they came off-stage. The caffeine had finally worn off, and coupled with the intense concert, Roxanne was bagged. She stumbled into the dressing room, forgetting that Peter was waiting for her, and flopped on the couch.

“You look exhausted, Roxanne.” Peter stepped over to the couch, sat her up and began rubbing her back. Roxanne groaned in release.

“33 more dates, Pete. I won’t let you leave if you keep that backrub up,” Roxanne threatened. Peter climbed onto the couch behind her and kept massaging.

“You know the team wouldn’t allow that,” Peter murmured, dropping a kiss on the nape of her neck. “They say I’ve missed you.”

“Have you?”

“Probably,” he admitted. Roxanne laughed.

“And when are you expected back?”

“Eventually.” Peter’s hands stilled on her shoulders and slid forward, wrapping around her. He sighed and leaned against her.

“That’s vague. Tonight? Tomorrow?” Roxanne pushed up and turned in his arms, kneeling into the plush couch cushions. “Next Tuesday?”

Peter answered her with a kiss. He drew her up against his chest and slipped his hands under the spangly silver sequined top Roxanne had worn during her last set. “Long enough, Rox.”

“Then maybe we should move this to the bus, where we have half a chance of some privacy.” Roxanne stepped off the couch and took Peter’s hand, leading him down the hallway toward the loading bay. Roxanne pulled a magnetic flag off the inside of the bus door and put it on the outside before pulling the door shut. Peter peered around at it and started laughing.

“Sleeping? Not really.” He winked and followed her down to her bunk. “Where were we?” He pulled her back into his arms and tilted his head down to kiss her. Roxanne wrapped her arms around his neck and groaned.

“You were giving me an amazing massage,” she reminded him. “Here, I’ll get my show stuff off and you can continue. My back has been killing me the last few days.” She turned away to the drawers beside her bed and pulled out a pair of pajamas. Peter snorted.

“Don’t worry about those. They won’t be on long anyhow,” he teased. Roxanne smirked and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

“I don’t wear anything under my stage clothes, Pete,” she taunted from the bathroom. Peter pulled off his jacket and boots and dropped them in a pile on the floor. Roxanne reappeared and assessed him. “You could lose the shirt and pants too.” He stripped down to his boxers and hopped on the bed beside her, bouncing her slightly. She rolled onto her stomach and cleared her throat.

“Let’s have some more of those magic fingers, Star-Lord,” Roxanne demanded. Peter knelt beside her and dug into the tense muscles of her back and was gratified to hear Roxanne’s moan of pleasure at the massage. He leaned down and kissed her shoulder, watching goosebumps dance across the bare flesh at her neck. Roxanne sighed and settled under his skillful ministrations.

“I liked the song, Rox,” he offered.

“Yeah?”

“The Milano is remarkably warm inside. Just thought I’d confirm that for you,” he teased. Roxanne let out a low chuckle.

“Good to know.” Her voice had grown husky.

“I liked the acoustic version from the radio best,” he continued. “But I need to know, do I count as hot like Thor?”

There was no response from Roxanne, and Peter was ready to be offended when he caught the gentle snore and realized she’d fallen asleep. He pulled up the blankets and curled up next to her to go to sleep.

“I’m sorry,” Roxanne whispered, kissing Peter awake in the low light of pre-dawn.

“You were tired,” Peter grumbled, scrubbing his hand across his face. Roxanne slid closer on the bed and nodded.

“I was. I’m not now.” She dipped her head and nipped at his collarbone. Peter made a noise that Roxanne could only define as a purr and rolled on top of her, capturing her mouth with his own. He slid his hand down to her pajama bottoms and tugged at them. Roxanne shifted her hips, pulling free of the stretchy jersey shorts and wriggling them down her hips. She tugged at Peter’s briefs, struggling to shimmy the elastic down his hips. He broke free from the kiss to take over, kicking them off the foot of the bed. He dropped back between Roxanne’s legs and let out a sigh of contentment. Roxanne bit his lip, crooking her heel around the back of his thigh and tugging him closer.

The sharp staccato of purposeful knocking started at the front of the bus. Peter stilled, like he was a kid caught with his hand in the candy jar. “Who –“

“I don’t care, we’re busy, and I have my sleeping flag up. Everyone on the crew knows you do not disturb me when I’m sleeping,” she grumbled.

“We’re not sleeping,” Peter pointed out.

“I’m not answering the door,” Roxanne shrugged, and pulled his mouth back to hers. She tugged him against her and used his movement to shift her weight and roll on top of him. She sat back, and stared at him. His hair was tousled from sleep, and he had a few days growth of stubble. He looked good in the morning. She leaned back down and kissed him, rocking her hips until he slipped inside her. He groaned into her mouth, and settled his hands at her hips, following along as she rocked her pelvis back and forth.

The banging at the door intensified. He broke the kiss to stare over her shoulder, as if they were going to be interrupted.

“Pete, relax. The door is locked,” Roxanne reassured him. He sat up and rolled her onto her back, pistoning his hips against hers. Roxanne rocked in rhythm with him, letting out a whimper of pleasure as he ground against her roughly.

“Goddamnit, Roxy, I know you’re in there!” It sounded like Jerry. The banging became a cacophony of noise, and Peter slowed down just long enough to lean back and swing the door to the bunk shut and flip the lock. Roxanne pulled him back to her, taking his mouth aggressively with her own.

“Stop getting distracted, Pete,” she growled, tilting her hips and wrapping her legs tightly around his thighs. Peter closed his eyes and sighed, his thrusts getting rougher and quicker. The banging at the door echoed through the room, in syncope to the movements of their bodies. Peter grunted and tightened his grip on her hips, collapsing against her.

“I’m sorry, Rox. I couldn’t concentrate. And you felt really good,” he murmured into her ear, smoothing her hair away from her face as he shifted his weight and rolled to the side. He pressed his lips gently against hers.

“Been at sea too long, sailor?” Roxanne teased.

“Seems like a month is too long where you are concerned. I’ll make it up to you,” he promised.

“Yes, you will.” Roxanne climbed across him and picked his t-shirt off the floor, pulling it over her head. She grabbed a pair of panties out of the drawer and slipped them up over her hips. She moved to smooth her hair, and decided against it, unlatching the door and walking toward the front of the bus. The banging was enough that Peter pulled a pillow over his head. He heard Roxanne unlock the door of the bus and swing it open, and heard her pad back up the steps into the kitchenette. He peered at her from under the pillow, watching her pull a k-cup pod out of the box, and set a cup of coffee brewing.

“Christ Almighty, Roxy, I was banging on that door for ten minutes!” Jerry complained as he climbed the stairs into the bus. “Did you not get my text last night, you’re late for a meeting.”

“You’d better have another one of those nice white cups for me if you’re going to talk to me like that this early in the morning, Jer,” Roxanne snatched the Starbucks cup out of his hand, and took the coffee cup from the k-cup machine. She turned her back on the manager and brought the coffee down to Peter. “Here, you can have my coffee, since Jerry brought me whatever this is.” She put it on the bedside table and headed back down the narrow hall to the kitchenette. About halfway down the short hall, the bus rocked with the footfalls of another person climbing up the short stack of stairs. Roxanne opened the mini-fridge, and bent over, looking for something to eat. Peter watched Jerry look away uncomfortably as his t-shirt slipped up Roxanne’s hips exposing her hot pink panties. The guy at the top of the stairs had no such qualms about Roxanne’s state of undress.

“It’s been a while since I’ve spent quality time with a musician. But this looks promising.” The stranger pulled off his sunglasses and smiled wolfishly at Roxanne’s ass. Roxanne shot up, and turned to face him. The look he gave Roxanne made Peter want to run down the hall and punch him. Roxanne obviously felt the same way, and the crack of her hand connecting with the guy’s face reverberated through the confined space of the bus.

“Who the fuck is this, Jer?” She demanded.

“Roxanne Raintree, meet Tony Stark. Mr. Stark was interested in supporting the foundation.” Jerry dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his temple, masking a cringe. “I don’t suppose he still will be.”

“She’s not the first woman to slap me. Won’t be the last,” Stark shrugged. Roxanne tensed.

“No thanks. We’ve already discussed this, Jerry. We want to foundation to stand on its own, without corporate sponsorship.” Roxanne dismissed Stark and Jerry and went back to the fridge. She didn’t bend as far over as she looked inside it for something to eat. She pulled out a yogurt and slowly pulled the foil off, raising an eyebrow at Jerry. “You can go now.”

“Roxy, I can call you that, right? Roxy, Stark Industries wants to support any initiative that makes the sciences attainable,” Stark started. “And your particular foundation has huge potential to bring in kids that might not otherwise get those opportunities.”

“Yes, I know. That’s why we founded it.” Roxanne rummaged in the kitchenette for a spoon, and leaned against the short counter to eat. She crossed her ankles and pursed her lips as she watched Stark take in the pale length of her legs.

“Stark Industries wants to throw money at you. I’m having a hard time understanding –“

“Stark Industries might have successfully rebranded, but the bands involved in the foundation are really not interested in taking donations from a company that used to make military weapons,” Roxanne interrupted.

“So this granola and flaxseed reputation is legitimate?” Stark scoffed.

“My life isn’t about sound bites, Mr. Stark. I practice what I preach.”

“And you have the freedom to practice that because of sacrifices –“

“Don’t. Don’t go there, Mr. Stark,” Roxanne cut him off. “You don’t get to talk about the sacrifices of the military just because you provided them with weapons.”

“It must be nice to be wealthy enough to refuse donations on principle, but consider who is losing out while you ride your high horse into the sunset, princess.” Stark raised an eyebrow and then looked past her, settling his gaze on Peter, who was laying in the bed, pillow still over his head, blanket barely covering his ass. “I can see you’re busy. Another time.” Stark turned on his heel and walked out. Roxanne took a sip from the coffee she’d stolen from Jerry.

“Well done, Roxy. He was set to donate half a million.” Jerry shook his head and rose to leave.

“We don’t need his money.” Roxanne was adamant.

“Get that groupie out of here, we pull out in thirty minutes.” Jerry stomped down the stairs and slammed the bus door shut. Roxanne walked back to the bed and climbed in beside Peter. Peter groaned and pulled her close for a kiss before sitting up.

“You coming back any time soon?” She asked as he pulled his clothes on. He shrugged.

“I don’t know.” Peter pulled a concert t-shirt out of his pocket and pulled it over his head. He sat down on the edge of the bed and laced up his boots. Roxanne bit the inside of her cheek, trying to be cool with the answer.

“Well, you seem to be able to track down the concert schedule easily enough. And you’ve figured out radio contests,” she paused. Peter laughed.

“Actually, that was Rocket,” he admitted. Roxanne laughed.

“That is awesome. How? You know what, I don’t want to know,” she smiled. “Next time, I’ll make sure we can’t be disturbed.” Peter pushed her back onto the bed and kissed her again.

“I swear, I owe you one.” He murmured. Roxanne bit his lip and smiled.

“We already established that. A big one,” She teased and let go of him.

What happened to CC? And other thoughts regarding the future of Entertainment for the Braindead.

So... Yesterday my EP “Sun” has been released, not only on Bandcamp, but also Spotify, Deezer, iTunes, all those platforms, and.. well, the CDs are still lost in mail delivery limbo, but they do exist. That’s new, right? I had help from Motor Entertainment, the publisher I am actually contracted to now, and everything feels and sounds a bit less personal than it used to. You will also notice that for now, the songs aren’t CC-licensed anymore. What happened to hand-crafted artwork and painted postcards? To the idea of free music, the netlabel vision, this whole crafty DIY authenticity? Did EFTB join the dark side of power? Everything seems more detatched now... and what? I finally gave in to the GEMA as well?  Well, yes. Sort of. And it’s weird to me, too. Those who have followed me for some time know I've always been very seriously idealistic about the concept of free music, of DIY stuff, of keeping stuff small and  real and non-commercial. It might look a bit like I’m losing my indie-integrity now. It feels like that to me.. But maybe - I hope! - not completely. However, since I started recording songs and crafting CDs, things have changed on so many levels - in my personal life, but also in the music industry, net culture, everything.. So a change seemed necessary and appropriate. 1) Life circumstances and a change of perspective Let’s start with personal life. Ten years ago, when I made Hypersomnia + Hydrophobia and got in touch with the netlabel aaahh records, I was a student, living in my parents’ house in Cologne. No rent to pay, no job eating away on my time schedule, working with the cheapest equipment available – it was easy to make and give away music then. Now adult life has its weird grips on me, full time work and health care bills and a fridge that doesn’t just refill by default: And when I look at my surroundings I see that many friends who have been doing music “on the side” struggle to create enough space for that in the long term. It fades out. When your career lead you elsewhere, when family comes into play,... you have to weigh if you can afford to keep it up, in terms of money, time, focus... I’m afraid that if I don’t make music my “real job” to at least a certain degree, it will become increasingly hard to prioritize it and keep it alive, not allowing it to get buried under piles of other tasks and things to do. The music has been the defining force in my grown-up life so far, everything good that came to me over the last years was somehow rooted there. Thus I don’t want this to become a hobby that always has to stand back behind other tasks and missions. But for that I need it to be at least self-sustaining.  2) Motor as an opportunity // Why not CC this time? Thus the decision to work with Motor. I was being offered a contract that means that yes, it’s about monetizing my music to some degree now (but I managed to protect EFTB from actually being used for commercials), but also getting a bit of a structural backbone and support, and then it also meant that I had to join the GEMA, which I did teeth-gnashingly. Anyhow, they already help me a lot with actually getting the music out there, reaching an audience, dealing with bureaucratic stuff, giving me a loan for CD production, etc. So you see, I don’t love every aspect of this, but if I want to have the pleasant and helpful sides, there’s a certain trade-off, and I’ve decided that since I’ve been given this opportunity out of nowhere, I owe the gods of serendipity to give it a try. The disadvantage: GEMA is working on some non-commercial licensing programs too, but for now it doesn’t go very well with CC, or at least I don’t yet understand how. So my hands are a little tied there at the moment. I genuinely hope stuff will change over time though.

But the advantages: There are two things out of this collaboration that are really precious to me. One is not having to deal with all the logistics of making music, being able to delegate a few draining tasks and therefore having more space for the actual creative part. What a relief! The other thing is wildly underestimated, but it’s as simple as that: Creating a network that pushes you a little, also through creative crisis and self-doubt. You see, I haven’t been releasing anything in a long time. It’s not like I didn’t write or record anything, but as pathetic as it sounds: it needed someone to come along and pat me on the shoulder and go: “No, do this, this is nice!” to get me out of a dark cloud of “who the hell gives a shit anyways” when it came to releasing stuff. I was stuck, two album-length collections of songs rotting on my hard-drive for years. And now here we are! 3) But why not another netlabel release instead? Look around, what happened to the net audio scene? What is your favourite netlabel doing now? 9-10 years back when I started out as a musician, there was a certain hype about the topic. The idea of free access to music – legal! aside from piracy! – was new and netlabels sprouted manyfold, curating hidden music, uncovering gems, becoming a scene of their own. Even mainstream media caught up to it. Where did they go though? Since streaming services came into play, the whole perception of accessing and “owning” music changed once more, most people, especially the young millenial generation, wouldn’t even bother putting up with music piracy anymore because they can access anything anywhere all the time anyways. The convenience-oriented USP of CC-music (as opposed to “commercial” music) towards the consumers dissipated now that everything is equally accessible  - and thus netlabels just more or less disappeared from the digital horizon, or at least drastically decreased in relevance. Correct me if I got this wrong, but at least that’s my impression. Also, as a musician, “Are you on Spotify?” became the new “Are you on Facebook?” – you remember the moment when it became hard to stay in touch with your friends if you didn’t follow the pack into the social web? Yeah, it’s similar now. You’re not on those platforms, people won’t bother looking for you elsewhere. I don’t know, maybe it’s bullshit to follow those trends, but... maybe it’s ok to try to stay visible. And after all, even Creative Commons was never supposed to be a religion, but a concept designated to create a change in perception of music distribution. This change is now happening anyways, whether better or worse, we’ll see (for now: worse, but I don’t want to get into this now) - but thus I guess it’s fair to stray from that path (and maybe come back later if the circumstances allow).

4) And the CDs are professionally produced, does that mean the DIY days are over? Well I sure hope not entirely. But this connects to the first paragraph – spending days on my bedroom floor crafting CD sleeves and putting up with getting my printer not to fuck up the label prints is simply a luxury I can’t afford these days, as life is already too stuffed and the day still only has 24 hours.. That doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying to add some ideas and details here and there that will make stuff a little bit more personal, doesn’t mean I’ve only been waiting to delegate all the crafty tasks. I did love them, after all. Maybe the priorities have shifted these days, I spend more effort on working out live performance quirks rather than drawing pictures to mail out, but that might just be a phase, too.

--

Bottomline, I think what it comes down to for me: I was presented with this chance to give my musical path a slightly new direction that looks like it could end up being be more productive and sustainable. And while having no idea whether it’s good or bad in the end, I felt like I had to take it, like it would be ungrateful not to take it for the sake of stubborn principles.  At the core, things haven’t even changed all that much. I still record alone in my bedroom with a computer and two mics bought second-hand somewhere, still make the artwork pictures myself. Moving things to a slightly more professional level doesn’t imply that I suddenly strive for the big fame or money or anything fancy – only to find a balance that will allow me to keep doing this. As I said, I don’t even know yet where this is going either. If I haven’t bored you to death at this point with self-indulgent banter.. I’d be happy and grateful if you’d like to stick around with me and find out.

What is the Typical Type of Person That Needs Debt Management?

Let me ask you one concern:.

Why do you wish to leave financial obligation?

You're here on this blog for a reason. To learn if my hardship and battles will help you make peace with your debt and get you out of the red and back in the saddle with your financial resources.

But you need to ask yourself one concern - why? More accurately, what is the driving force behind you wanting to get out of financial obligation? Is it due to the fact that it's "the thing to do" or "no one likes debt anyhow"? If it is then you'll discover yourself failing at achieving this goal.

So what is a good "driving force"?

Let me side-step for a moment and broaden on why you'll stop working with a flat factor like the above to drive you.

Nobody can accomplish anything with a generic, half-assed reason to do it. The Romans' factor for constructing such a dominating empire wasn't since "there's land there, so why not?" or "well we've eliminated everyone here, may too construct stuff".

They desired to be the very best. To control the world - the most effective force on the planet (or what they knew of it). Success milebrook financial legit drove them. Or at least, the love of prospering. This is http://www.bbc.co.uk/search?q=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debt_relief an effective, psychological reason that they did what they did.

Yes, they eventually stopped working in a catastrophically abysmal way - however that's not the point (actually, it isn't!). I'm speaking about their driving force - what emotions they put behind their objectives.

So, coming back to the topic at hand: what about you?

What is driving you to leave financial obligation?

Perhaps it's a worry of not being able to support either yourself or your household if "the worst" takes place - or maybe it's the fear of being humiliated when you admit you can't afford a present that your girlfriend has been dying to get ever since she saw it. Possibly your fianc desires a PS3 so bad, but can't validate purchasing it as it's his birthday quickly. But you can't purchase it either - you have a head complete of debt to clear. What a bum birthday he'll have when he gets another card with a 20 present coupon inside it from you.

So here's the offer. Putting an emotional factor behind your goals will set your spirit on fire. Our sensations are the important things that get us through each day. They are the chemicals in our brain and blood that form our lives. They make us fall in love, hate the face off of somebody, feel jealous, starving, afraid, lonely ... you understand.

Realise what your connected emotions are with leaving financial obligation, and you'll be able to accomplish your goal( s) easily. Sure, it'll still be a difficult obstacle depending on just how much red you're in (or whatever your objective is), however whenever you struck a wall or fail on your face thanks to a financial miscalculation or surprise attack by your credit card business you'll push through, identified to be successful. Just think about your household's Christmas with absolutely no money concerns. Think about the PS3 for God of War 3's sake.

This entire subject happened when I enjoyed a video post on a wonderful blog site I visit often which gives life to this "feeling concept" by provoking the reasons above about psychological accessory. And it holds true. For someone you truly loved, would you do anything you can for them? Or if you do not like Human beings, how about your dog, feline or collection of strange and fantastic (but generally strange) bugs? You 'd do anything for them because you have actually attached an emotion to their being. You are connected to that other object/organism by a series of chain reactions in your thought factory.

Now, I'm not a saying you are to fall in love with financial obligation - you 'd need a different blog site for that. I'm speaking about being enthusiastic about your financial obligation. Think about the things you can do without it looming over your head and do not simply accept the state of mind of "I have actually got absolutely nothing else to do, might too attempt and get out of debt". It's weak. You'll fail.

Okay, so why do I wish to get out of financial obligation? Well, that's apparent for everyone. So we don't have cash concerns anymore. But what's my driving force? What has motivated me to start this blog site and journal my thoughts, feelings and actions to millions of individuals?

My driving force is that I am frightened. I fear that I will not have the ability to support myself or my sweetheart in the near or remote future if I keep this debt up. I'm afraid I won't be able to give her (or me) the life we desire. I do not wish to feel embarrassed since I can't take her on vacation on her birthday, or to shock her with a romantic gesture just due to the fact that I really can't afford it.

Finances reject! Finances reject!

I don't want that. Worry is my driving force. Fear is among the most powerful emotions you can feel and I wager it's the bulk of yours, too. Others might be humiliation, frustration or anger (at yourself for letting you enter debt in the first place). Ultimately the bulk of your feelings will be adversely powered - these tend to offer the "push" aspect; a "do or pass away" final notice.

I'm hoping that by admitting and discussing my feelings on here that it'll inspire you people to open and truly consider what your driving force is (or might be) to get out of financial obligation, or to even attain another goal as this little method is universal in that regard.

Summer of Destiny -- Chapter 3 -- A Rumbelle AU PROMPT VERSE . . . . .

This fic will be based entirely on this prompt list and I will cross off prompts as they are used.  And yes I’m making this a Historical AU because why not?  (Also I love the 60′s history and it’s ripe with angst opportunities.)  There WILL be angst. I am sorry. Yes, I also know I have umpteen other fics to finish. I’m working on it. Talk to my muse - she hates me, maybe she’ll listen to you. If you would like to submit a prompt for the next installment of this fic, my ask box is open. This is primarily a Rumbelle fic but will include a good amount of Swanfire and Papafire.

Summary:   Carson Gold is a World War II veteran and small business owner living a quiet life in Storybrooke, Maine. He is a devoted father to his son, Bae. His world is about to change upon meeting his son’s friend and mentor, free-spirited high school history teacher Belle French.  Rating is currently Mature but that may change to Explicit in the future.

Need to catch up? You can do that here: Chapter One, Chapter Two

I DO need lots of prompts!!!!  This fic is based on prompts and won’t continue unless I’m prompted!  Please see this prompt list and I will cross off prompts as they are used.   If you would like to submit a prompt from that list for the next installment of this fic, my ask box is open.

Chapter 3 is based on prompt 9 submitted by @sunflowerrosedaisy​: There’s a leaf in your hair.

Author's note: Just a reminder that this is set in 1967. Words that are considered "not PC" now were different then, and I'm trying to stay true to the era in which this story takes place.

Chapter 3

"So – what did you think?" Belle asked, then she took a sip of her iced tea. Belle and Gold were seated across from one another on the outdoor patio of a restaurant.

"I will admit it wasn't as bad as I presumed it would be. She made some good points," Gold confessed, and Belle smirked a bit.

"Well, I'm glad. It's not a perfect book – there are many things she doesn't address at all – I know that colored women aren't exactly fond of it, and rightly so. I guess not everything can change at one time no matter how much you think it should."

"People are slow to change. It's our nature to want things to be as they always have been."

"It's also our nature to invent, to create, and to see that sometimes – we were wrong."

"Yes – there's that as well." Gold took a sip of his drink, and a furious gust of wind rushed through the patio as he did so. The napkins that were on their table blew off, and Belle got up and chased them, retrieving all but one.

"Well, that came out of nowhere. Got to love Maine weather." Gold smirked at her, and suddenly Belle reached out toward him and brushed his hair a bit, and Gold's eyes widened with surprise. "There's a leaf in your hair. There – it's gone now." Belle looked up at him with a smirk on her face, then took another drink.

"Oh – thank you," Gold said, looking down nervously. Both were silent for a moment, until Belle finally spoke up.

"So – would you like to do another book discussion? I really love to read and not many of my friends are as enthusiastic about it as I am."

"I – I suppose that would be nice. What would you like to read?"

"Well – Dr. King's new book was just published not too long ago; I haven't read it yet. Would you be interested in reading that?"

"Actually, yes I would."

"So you – you support the civil rights movement then?"

"Of course I do."

"So do I. Hey – a friend of mine is giving a talk at the university tomorrow, would you like to go with me and hear him? His name is Merlin – he's working on his doctorate in history. He's marched with Dr. King."

"Merlin? Like the magician in the King Arthur story?" Belle giggled a bit.

"Well, apparently, his real name is Marlon Knight but his little brother used to say it 'Merlin' and it kind of stuck – at least that's the story he tells. He's a great speaker, I think you'll like him."

"Well, that – that sounds interesting. Yes, I'd love to go with you."

"You know, speaking of great speakers – you did a wonderful job in my class. They're still talking about you. Would you consider coming back?"

"I um – I don't know what else I'd have to say."

"Well, they're really interested in the nostalgia end of the thirties and forties; maybe you could talk about some of that."

"You know, I have quite a few things in my shop that I could bring to show them. Would that be alright?"

"Oh, that sounds perfect! Can you show me what you have? I mean – in your shop." Belle blushed a bit.

"We can go there right now if you like."

"Let's do that, then. We can stop at the bookstore and get copies of that book as well." Belle stood up and Gold grabbed his cane and did the same, following her out to the sidewalk.

"This is my private collection. Things I brought with me from Scotland," Gold said as he led Belle into a small back room of the shop that was filled with an array of items not for sale in the store.

"Wow. You're really quite the collector, aren't you?"

"Well, most of these things belonged to my aunties – they raised me. They were the ones who were the collectors. I just couldn't bear to sell them; all of these things meant a great deal to them." Gold moved to an old Victrola that was sitting on the shelf. "I used to sit and play this thing for hours when I was a lad. I do have some phonograph records here and it does work; I could bring this."

"It's beautiful." Belle couldn't help but notice the spinning wheel sitting in the corner. "An antique spinning wheel? Did your aunts use this?"

"Yeah – they were quite the avid spinners. Even taught me."

"You – you spin?"

"Used to. Haven't done it in years, but – I did get quite good at it."

"I bet you could pick it up again. What else do you have? I mean, I don't expect you to drag all of this along with you."

"I've got quite a few old photos we could put on display."

"Oh, look, an antique tea set! It's lovely!" Belle picked up one of the hand painted cups and looked it over. "Did this belong to your aunts?"

"Yes, they enjoyed their tea. I do have some of their jewelry as well."

"Oh, I'd love to see that." Belle moved to put the teacup back on the shelf, but it slipped out of her hand, falling to the floor, and she gasped in horror. "Oh – oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that!" Belle picked up the teacup and looked it over, noticing a small knick in the rim. "It – it's chipped. You can barely see it."

"It's just a cup – no matter," Gold said, taking the teacup from her and putting it back on the shelf.

"But – but it's an antique."

"Miss French, that tea set is barely worth fifty cents, if that. I keep it more for sentimental reasons than anything. As I said, it's no matter."

"Well, I – I am sorry. I won't touch anything else. I can be a bit clumsy at times."

"Yes, I do recall that. It's okay – try having a young, rambunctious son barreling through the shop for years. I promise you, Bae has broken far more valuable things in this place than a teacup."

"Well, pretty soon you'll be in the same situation with a grandchild."

"Yes – I'm afraid I will be." Gold picked up an old jewelry box and set it on the table. "None of these things are breakable, so feel free to touch them. I honestly haven't looked at these in years."

"Oh, I love old jewelry – I used to go through my mother's things all the time. See this pendant?" Belle pointed out the necklace she was wearing. "Her grandmother gave this to her on her sixteenth birthday. She gave it to me on mine, I wear it all the time."

"It's lovely," Gold commented. Belle opened the jewelry box and began to rummage through it, admiring all the trinkets inside of it. She stopped when she came across an item that clearly stood out among everything else. It was a medal, and Belle examined it closely.

"This – this is a Victoria Cross. Where did you get this?" Belle asked.

"Oh, um – that – that's mine," Gold admitted. "Forgot I put it there."

"You – you were awarded a Victoria Cross? But they're rare – they're only given for the most exceptional bravery in combat." Belle examined the medal again, then looked up at him. "You're not just a veteran – you're a war hero. This should be in a frame at your home, on display."

"I did what I had to do. I prefer not to think much about it." Gold grabbed the medal from Belle, as well as the jewelry box. "I have a business dinner to attend this evening, and I really need to go home and get ready for that."

"Oh, of course. I um – tomorrow then? How do you want to do this, you want to pick me up?"

"I suppose I could do that. What's your address?"

"Oh, I live in an apartment above the library. You know where that is, right?"

"Why do you live there?"

"Well, it's what I can afford. It's not bad – I'm hoping to move in a year or two, been saving money every month. It's kind of hard for women to find a place; most rentals want a man to sign off for you. So anyhow, the talk starts at six, so – pick me up at five-thirty then? I'll be waiting outside."

"I'll be there."

"I'm – really sorry about the cup. Goodnight, Mr. – you know, I think we've gotten to know each other well enough to not be that formal. What's your first name?"

"Carson," Gold replied.

"May I call you that?"

"I suppose that'll be fine."

"Alright. Goodnight – Carson."

"Goodnight – Belle." Belle smiled at him as she left the room, and when he heard the bell on his door jingle, indicating that she had left, he looked down at the medal he was holding. A single tear fell down his cheek as he opened the jewelry box, tossed the medal back inside it as if it was no more important than any other trinket inside, closed the lid and put the box on the shelf, hiding it behind several other items.

"Belle!" Merlin called out as he mingled through the university crowd after he had finished his talk. The crowd was populated with mostly young college students and a handful of young adults in their twenties, the majority of them black. In his perfectly tailored suit, and leaning on his cane, Gold stood out in the crowd and received a number of odd stares from many of those in attendance.

"Merlin! Hey – great speech, I'm so glad I was able to make it! Merlin, this is Carson Gold – he's a friend of mine."

"Hey, nice to meet you," Merlin said, offering Gold his hand.

"The pleasure is mine. It was a fine speech."

"Carson and I are reading Dr. King's new book – we kind of have this little private book club going," Belle said. "You know, Carson is a vet like your father – he has a Victoria Cross."

"Really? That's quite an honor, sir. My father received a purple heart. He's been my inspiration for my entire life. I wouldn't be where I am today without him."

"Well, I'm sure he's quite proud of you as well," Gold commented.

"I wouldn't know. He – he was stationed in Pearl Harbor in 1941."

"Oh. Well, I'm very sorry. I'm sure he was a wonderful man."

"Well, I've – I've got some good memories of him before he left us. I'm pretty sure he'd be quite happy with what I've accomplished. I'm the first one in my family to go to college."

"Well, it looks like you've done well for yourself. I look forward to reading your book someday."

"He definitely has a book in him, if not more than one," Belle agreed.

"Well, I'm going to bring the car around – it was very nice meeting you, Mr. Knight." Gold turned and left, and Merlin gave Belle a curious look.

"Book club?" he asked. "Really, Belle? Who is this guy?"

"He – he's a friend. I think." Merlin just stared at her. "He's the father of one of my former TA's, I met him at his son's wedding. I was looking for some presenters for my summer sessions and I remembered that his son told me about his father serving in the British Army during the war so I asked if he'd be willing to come and talk to them, and – well, we just struck up conversation from there."

"Is that all you struck up?"

"Merlin!" Belle smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "It's not like that."

"I hope not. The guy's old enough to be your father. And he dresses like a Republican."

"Not all Republicans are bad; my father's a Republican."

"And when was the last time you talked to him again?"

"Carson was willing to come to your talk, shouldn't that say enough about him?"

"You like him," Merlin said, a big grin coming across his face.

"Maybe I do. He's – interesting. And very nice. I thought you were more open minded than that."

"Hey, I'm not judging. Whatever makes you happy. We're still on for next month though, right? You're not gonna ditch me just because you got a new boyfriend, are you?"

"He's not my boyfriend. And no, I'm not ditching you, I've been working very hard on our project. I'll call you next week, we can set up a time to meet and work everything out. I'd better go, Carson is probably waiting with the car by now."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Belle stuck her tongue out at him, then turned and left.

"Well – here we are," Gold said as he pulled up in front of the library.

"Yes – here we are. Thank you for going with me tonight, Carson. I hope you enjoyed Merlin's talk."

"It was quite enlightening. Thank you for inviting me." Gold got out of the car and moved to the passenger door, opening it for Belle.

"You didn't have to do that," Belle said.

"I understand you're a 'liberated woman' and all but there's nothing wrong with good manners."

"I suppose you're right," Belle agreed. Gold glanced up at the window on the second floor of the library. It had several large pieces of tape across it.

"Is that your apartment window?" he asked.

"Yes, it is."

"It's cracked. You should call your landlord, get that fixed."

"You think I haven't? The wind blew hard at it two months ago, I've been on my building manager about it ever since. Leroy said he's been pestering the landlord for the okay to replace the window, but so far nothing, so the best he can do is patch it till then. It's not that bad for summer, but if it's not fixed before winter comes I'll be freezing up there. To be honest, I've only ever dealt with the building manager. I've never even met the landlord, it's some corporation. CG Properties – I guess they own lots of buildings, I'm probably not even on their radar. I was promised an air conditioner in my window when I moved in – that never happened either. I gave up on that fight some time ago. You know, if I ever met 'CG' or whoever the jerk is that owns that company, I'd certainly give them a piece of my mind. They're barely one notch above a slumlord if you ask me. Honestly, I'd have moved long ago if I could afford it, but – as I told you – I can't right now. Well, I should be going – I have a class first thing in the morning. Thank you for coming with me tonight; I'll see you Wednesday then at my class?"

"Yeah – see you then." Belle lingered a bit, wondering if Gold was going to give her a kiss or a hug or anything, but there was no move on his part.

"Well – goodnight, Carson."

"Goodnight, Belle." Belle turned and walked toward her door, and she stood in the doorway and watched as Gold got back into his car and drove away.

Back at his home, Gold entered his study and opened a file cabinet drawer. He rifled through the files until he found the one he was looking for. Gold took the file and moved to his desk chair, then he sat down and opened it up. He paged through the paperwork inside of it until he found what he was looking for. It was a lease for the apartment above the library, signed by Belle French.

Praying isn't gonna stop wars. It never has. More people have been killed in the name of God than have been saved by him or because of him. via /r/atheism

Submitted January 08, 2020 at 02:53AM by saman65 (Via reddit https://ift.tt/37N7Owa) Praying isn't gonna stop wars. It never has. More people have been killed in the name of God than have been saved by him or because of him.

Wasn't sure where to post this. But I had to get it out. I just saw #Prayforpeace trending on twitter and thought shit, every f ing time. I picked this sub because I think the topic is related to religion just as it is political and I needed a forum where people are more ciritical thinkers than politicially biased.

This is a long one. Read if you care enough. I’m not promising to say something outrageous. Just what I think, have seen and know.

Iran is a complex country, as I’m sure most countries are. There is this great video I recommend you all to watch it from this Amazing American dude who travels all around the world! Give it a chance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TWNXneUrMY&t=1s

I can go into how we were happily living under a secular democratic system for a short period of time after centuries of having a Kingdom and a dictator to rule us. I always wonder what could we achieve if we didn’t have oil, if Musaddegh wasn’t as hounrable as he was and would have become a friend to the west, negotiating on a deal that would have worked for both sides, even more for the US. I have pride but I would have wanted a good relation with the west even if that meant selling out your assets/resources to a foreign nation for cheaper because the alternative has been misery for the majority of Iranians, especially in the last 15 years.

What I know is that we had a secular system, with laws based on humanity and ethics not some guy from 1400 years ago who wasn’t even a Persian. Musaddegh didn’t sell out, he was toppled, Shah was installed. Shah did great things economically which in itself is a whole story but there were still many people living in poverty who didn’t like Shah living lavishly like a KING when they could barely afford a roof over their head.

He also oppressed religious minorities to some extent, banned headscarfs and persecuted activists. Anyhow he fucked up and people believed fell for right wing promise of a religious (and secular at the same time!) Mulla revolution that will bring oil money to everyone’s table, people, not only the ones in charge!

People believed in him, Khomeini, and it turned out his promise was a lie. The opposite happened. Almost no one except the people in charge has seen any of that oil money in the past 4 decades

I come from a small town where all schools, hospital, roads, pipeline, and basically every bit of infrastructure are built by donations from a few wealthy and generous people we have.

Some facts that are barely discussed in English speaking forums. Like how 80-90% of people working for the regime and more important politicians have dual nationalities along with their spouses and kids. MANY from the US and Europe.

Ali Larijani who is the speaker of the Parliment, very anti American(politics)and also happens to also be the Leader Khamenei’s son in Law, has a daughter who lives on Ohio and has finished her medical school there. So you see in the case of a war, almost none of them are gonna get hurt. Their families will be out of Iran in matter of days.

On the recent news and incident.

I have not seen many people, in anyone in the west describing the situation in Iran correctly. Why? Well one because they are right to not believe the MSM and government’s narrative but none are talking to actual Iranians directly, neither pro Trump nor anti war people in the west.

Don't take me and my stats for my word. What I have said or am saying could be asked from any Iranian. You can find hundreds of us on social media and more than a few of them know how to communicate basic messages in English. Just talk to them. I would suggest visiting our country to get the truth but at this time I don’t recommend it at all( unless you are an activist ) but it is still risky because you can’t really report the whole truth from there. The government would only allow half of it( the part people being angry at the west, not the entire reality and the majority being angry toward the government)

Pro government people are mourning his death and anti government people ( the majority) are not. I can't say what percentages of Iranians are unhappy with the government but I know for a fact that we are in the majority, well over 70% if you ask me. Among the younger generation, which are the majority of Iranians that number is well above 90%.

If these numbers seem irrational and unrealistic, well ask yourself or look up and read the US's congress and Senate's approval rating. It isn't any better.

The anti government portion is more worry of the possibility of a war because they don't wanna die for a system they despise while pro government people are expecting demand a retaliation.

98% of people in the west are looking at this as it is a black or white situation while this couldn't be any more gray.

Soleimani was fighting isis in Iraq( in itself a good thing ) in a war that again, the majority of Iranians don't support. Iran’s alliance in Syria is of a diplomatic nature not based on humanity or saving people from isis or whatever.

Soleimani was also the guy in charge of repressing anti government protest in Iran for decades, including 2008 uprising over a rigged election ( it was actually funny how rigged it was but they still got away with it). Thousands of protesters were gunned down under his command. The protests about three months ago also resulted in over 500 death . The sad part is both the left, right nor independent channels I watch and follow really reported on this topic.

If a war breaks out, the true victims of this situation are without a doubt the majority of Iranins, getting screwed by both the Iranian regime and US government, just as we are now.

The sanctions don’t hurt the rich or the government. It hurts the middle class and poor which consist the majority of Iranians.

Living expense has increased 3,4 folds, while waging the same or doubling at max. Property value/rent has risen almost anywhere from 5-10 times ( in response to our currency tanking over sanctions Hence the poor has become extremely poor and the middle class has become poor while the wealthy which owns property and materials like cars have become millionaires and extra wealthy even wealthier!

The cheapest (one of the shittiest available) car made in Iran, Kia Pride, (a newer version an old Kia Pride model) goes for 70 M toman brand new. The same car was 6 million a decade ago. I remember it being 6 million since I was a kid and …. That’s where we are after 10 years of sanctions.

Ok I will end this rant now

Neither pro war nor anti war people in the US are right on their report of the situation.

pro war people:

Soleimani is bad (true but not for the reason they say.)

Iran government bad(true, but is US government doing anyone any good?)

95% want government gone( not really that high. Unfortunately US's response and actions has given government more support no matter how much they suck. Trump killing Soleimani this way pushes people who are in the middle to the government’s side. So will a war. Saddam’s invasion with West’s “go ahead and blessing” only made the recently won revolution more popular, so will a war waged against a despised regime and forcing people to fight for a system that has oppressed them all their life, taking away the basic freedom and choices a human deserves.

I’d like to believe the regime doesn’t have more than 20% support but I don’t have a number on that. It is hard to conduct independent surveys with the limited freedoms of speech and press we have. if you live among Iranians, it won’t take you more than a week to realize the majority want a total reform.

-90% would love us to bomb them!(false). Like I said, the Iranian civilians will pay the highest cost for that war. Looking at our neighbors, they don’t seem to be better off than they were before US’s invasion.

Anti war people:

-Soleimani was good(false. Fighting isis doesn't make him a good guy! He wasn't fighting them to defend his people, for a good cause even though he believed that. Iran’s fight against ISIS has nothing to do with what the majority of Iranians wanted).

-Iran government good: (false) Not all of them are pushing this narrative. Secular talk and Kim Iverson on youtube have both correctly reported that Iranians are very unhappy with their government. Yet 95% of the left, anti war voices on the right and independents who are calling out Trump on this ignore this part. I know why they are doing it though. One you agree with the CIA’s talking point that X is a bad guy, then they say “well we have to do something about it don’t we?” and many people with good intentions would think that’s the right thing to do! Manufacturing conset I suppose it is called. Or maybe I’m wrong. But in this case, the bad guy is really bad! I’m upset they don’t say it but what I care more is me, my relatives and my compatriots not getting bombed. So I’m thankful to every anti war voice on the left, right and independent, even if they are reporting what goes on inside Iran not accurately.

-The majority don't want a war(true!) I don’t think this needs an explanation.

I'm personally not saddened even for a bit over Soleimani’s death news, but the possibility of a war has made me quit worry. I’ve always been afraid of war. Not dying in it but surviving it while many of the people I know and care for don't.

My number are my opinions and what I perceive. I encourage everyone to their own research on the things they can find online and talk to Iranians, the one who live in Iran, if you want to know how they feel about this situation! You will find many people angry at the government who would love anything, including a war, as oppose to the current situation but the majority don't want a war.

I’d like to leave it with a positive note which is a fact. Americans are probably the most liked(more like adored!) nationality for Iranians. Again I encourage all you to watch Peters video on Iran. Take his word for it not mine

For me personally, the most welcoming and warm people I have met in my life have been Americans and I have lived a few countries.

This war isn’t between us, the people, but sadly it is us who have to fight the wars. Praying and asking God to help isn't gonna do shit. Speaking to each other, believing in ourseleves, it can make a difference.

Forgive my grammar,spelling and poor writing skills.

Peace.

Hope Idiotic | Part 24

By David Himmel

Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]<Chuck Keller> Subject: Re: Can You Go Home Again?

Louie, Louie, I’m sorry about Michelle. You gave it a good effort. To answer your question, though I think it was rhetorical or metaphorical, yes. Yes, you can come home again. You should come home again. You can have your place back to yourself if you don’t want to live with me, though I am partial to this place and I have missed you. Things are going well with Lexi. Maybe she’ll let me rent her couch or something.

 Yes. Come home. Neal misses you, too. You can pick right back up. You don’t need that city or that girl. I think I might even have a job for you.

✶ 

WHEN MOST PEOPLE TRAVEL TO LAS VEGAS, they spend a week drinking and gambling and trading venereal diseases with strangers. Maybe they take in a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon. Lou’s week in Vegas was spent interviewing for a job and repairing his house, which had been haphazardly battered and bruised by his best friend and tenant, a recovering alcoholic.

Beyond the garage-door sensors being ripped off, the doorjamb between the kitchen and the garage had been split by Chuck kicking the door open when he returned home too drunk to use a key. The house alarm system had never been activated, but it chirped each time a door opened. When Chuck passed out with the sliding patio door open all night, the incessant chirping eventually woke him, and he tore the system’s keypad from the wall in a drunken rage, leaving it dangling by the wires. The downstairs toilet was cracked into two pieces. Chuck said it happened when he was trying to clean around it—that he must’ve leaned on it too much. But Lou knew it was really because Chuck was too drunk to know what was happening. He must have fallen into it, probably breaking it with his thick skull.

“I’m sorry about the broken house, man,” Chuck said to Lou as they unloaded supplies from Chuck’s car—the one he bought from the repo man for three hundred dollars.

“Not a big deal. But you’re paying for all of it, and you’re going to be my errand bitch until it’s all done. I’d take it out of your security deposit, but you never gave me one.”

“You never asked for one.”

“I should have.”

“I probably wouldn’t have had the money for it anyhow.”

“Valid point.”

For the first time in more than two years, things in Chuck Keller’s and Lou Bergman’s lives were quiet, calm and cool. If it weren’t for the home repairs, they wouldn’t have known what to do with themselves. Chuck went to work, while Lou interviewed for the communications specialist position at Metropolis Grande, Palm Gaming’s multiproperty project—the largest private development ever, which was currently under construction, collected vitamin D on the patio by the pool and puttered around the house making little repairs until his assistant returned at around six o’clock. He didn’t want anyone else knowing he was in town. He didn’t want to have to explain the Michelle thing or discuss the possibility of a move back. Avoidance was now how Lou managed and ultimately eliminated stress.

And on Saturday, he turned thirty years old. Lexi, Natalie and Stephen, and I came to the house for a small barbecue. Lexi had seen the mess Chuck had made of the place and was impressed by how good everything looked.

“Put the last nail into the doorjamb about three minutes before you guys came over,” Chuck said with pride.

“I put the last nail in,” Lou said. “Chuck doesn’t know how to use a hammer.”

We spent the afternoon laughing, eating and telling stories. Natalie made an angel food cake and served it with strawberries, homemade hot fudge and whipped cream—Lou’s favorite dessert.

“How did you know?” he asked her, as she cut him the first piece.

“You three talk about everything. All I had to do was ask Neal.”

“It’s strange, the amount of shit I can store and recall in this mangled brain,” I said.

Without saying anything about it directly, we strengthened the case that Lou needed to move back to Vegas.

By nine, our intimate birthday party was over, and we headed home. Lexi left with us and continued cooing over the baby as Natalie gently strapped him into the car. Chuck and Lou lounged in the plastic Adirondack chairs on the patio. Chuck drank an O’Doul’s beer; Lou nursed a glass of orange juice.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Chuck jumped up and ran back into the house. He returned a minute later with a gift bag. “Happy thirtieth, man.” Lou reached into the bag; he pulled out a bottle of scotch. “Sorry it’s not something nicer. It’s about all I could afford, but I know you drink it.”

“You shouldn’t be encouraging this. We’ve been doing so well with sobriety this week.”

“You’re welcome anyway. Besides, no one says that you had to stay sober. If anything, you should have an I.V. of that shit hooked up to your veins. A breakup, turning thirty. Red Letter Week for old Lou Bergman.”

 The cockroaches scurried about. Chuck smashed a few with his foot. A few more with an empty bottle.

 “I was too busy installing toilets.”

“Well, that’s done. Have a drink now.”

“Is it okay if I don’t?”

“Whatever man, it’s your birthday.”

“Let’s keep it here and save it for if I get the job and move back.”

“You’re gonna get the job. I already talked to Ling over in their HR department. She loved you. Said you were the best interview she may have ever had with anyone. Just gotta make it official, probably early next week. So, let me be the first to say, Congratulations, inaugural communication specialist for Metropolis Grande.”

“Thanks, buddy. I’m still not sure how this thing will work in this economy, but what do I know of business?”

They raised their beverages toward each other and took a drink. They sat quietly for a while, both of them staring up at the few dim stars they could see among the glow from the Strip. Lou broke the silence.

“Strange.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s not until I’m no longer with Michelle that a real job opportunity presents itself.”

“Yep.”

“I’ve hardly thought about her at all this week. I’m a little surprised that she hasn’t called, but don’t even really care.”

“Feel like a weight has been lifted from you, huh?”

“Yeah. Freedom. I finally understand why the Jewish people get so excited about being freed from bondage. It’s an amazing feeling.”

“Free of the accountability. Free from having to explain your moods.”

“Free from having to exhaust myself trying to act like everything is wonderful.”

“I think this is a good thing for you. Took a while to figure it out, but here you are. And I, for one, couldn’t be happier.”

“This feels good. I’m going back to where I was, but it feels more like a move forward.”

The cockroaches scurried about. Chuck smashed a few with his foot. A few more with an empty bottle.

“I don’t need her, right?” Lou asked. “I mean, everything I was—back when I was something—I did without her. All she did was hurt me. Even when she was being supportive, she’d remind me she was only supporting me because I needed to be supported. Like with money. God, I can’t even count the number of times she’d say, ‘I should be given sainthood for sticking by you through all this.’ Fucking bitch. She didn’t stick by me. She lorded over me.”

“You’ve got every right to be angry,” Chuck said. “But remember, you guys had good times, too. That’s why you stayed with her through all of it.”

“But I was so unhappy through most of it.”

“But you loved her. So there’s that.”

“I don’t think love matters, Chuck. It’s important, sure. But you can love someone with every fiber of your being, and if it doesn’t function, you’re fucked.”

“Like with Lexi.”

“What do you mean?”

“I love her. I mean I really love her. Everything about her. Even the shit I complain about, I love that stuff, too. Because she’s such a good person. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m actually uncomfortable with what a good person my girlfriend is. I feel out of place sometimes. The beer helps, but then, you know, it doesn’t.”

They both laughed knowingly. Lou picked up his shoe that he’d slid off earlier and slapped a roach dead with it.

“Besides, I miss Gina. I still want to be with her. When I think about marriage—which you know I don’t like doing—but when I do think about it, it’s easier for me to picture myself marrying Gina.”

“Come on. Really? Are you sure that’s not just because you can’t have her right now?”

“I thought that was it. But it’s deeper than that. Much deeper. An unfamiliar kind of deep.” He drank the last sip of his O’Doul’s “I’m gonna get another one. Want anything?”

“I’ll try one of those.”

Lou slaughtered maybe twenty or thirty more roaches while Chuck was inside. Let’s be clear: the patio wasn’t filled with roaches because the patio was filthy. Roaches roam the desert night the way mosquitoes swarm the nights of the midwest. Any man with his own pool in need of solace will do this. Another slap of the shoe, two more roaches dead, and Chuck was back. He was holding an envelope along with the two bottles.

“Check it out,” Lou said. “It’s like a roach holocaust out here.” Chuck handed him a bottle of the non-alcoholic O’Doul’s. He took a sip, looked at it and considered its taste. “Not bad.”

“Yeah. Tastes pretty much like beer.”

“Is it any cheaper?”

“Not really.”

“That’s bullshit. There’s no alcohol in here. It’s one less ingredient.”

“It’s the same as a twelve-pack of a regular cola costing the same as a twelve-pack of diet cola.”

“I think that’s bullshit, too.”

Chuck took his seat and handed Lou the envelope. “I wrote her a letter.”

“Who?”

“Gina.”

“This is it?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m supposed to read it?”

“Yeah.”

It was a love letter. Two pages front and back. It was unlike anything Chuck had written before. To Lou, the letter didn’t even sound like Chuck. It sounded like a lovesick poet. These were words that had been living in the most absolute depths of Chuck’s soul for twenty-nine years. They were raw and honest, and they began to make Lou cry.

Chuck had moved across the patio to the other side of the pool. He was sitting on the edge with his legs dipped in the water. He was staring at Lou, watching his reactions from a safe distance. No one likes to read anything when the author is right over their shoulder. And Chuck didn’t want to be so close that Lou felt he had to react a certain way. He knew that his letter was one that required the reader to fall into it completely. Any human distraction would disrupt the spirit.

When Lou finished, he looked up. The friends locked eyes.

“Really?” Lou said.

“Really.”

“It’s like I don’t even know you. But Jesus Christ, you’re beautiful.” He stood and walked to his friend, rolled up his jeans and dipped his legs into the cool pool water, too. The moon was out now, and it cast a gentle white light on either of their faces.

“And you mean all that for Gina?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t think there’s any emotion in there that came from your feelings for Lexi? That there’s not a single sentence in these four pages that is meant for her?”

“I’ve never written like that until I had Gina in my life, then out of it. But…” he kicked the water, splashing it across its own surface. The new ripples careened into the moonlit nothingness of the water. “I want it to be for Lexi.”

“Maybe you should take a cue from me. Be single. I currently have no relationship problem ’cuz I’m not in a relationship. It’s worked for me well these last few days.”

✶

THEY STAYED OUTSIDE UNTIL A LITTLE AFTER 4 A.M., when Chuck polished off the last of the O’Doul’s. Talking, laughing, the usual. As they picked up the empties and marveled at the incredible number of roach carcasses, Chuck said, “I hope you had a good birthday, buddy.”

“I can say without any doubt that this one was the best. Really. Thank you.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“You did everything. You’re an incredible person, Charles Keller. You really, really are. I mean you still owe me a couple of grand in back rent, but other than that, you’re the most important person to me, Chuck. I love you.”

“If I say I feel the same way, will it just seem like I’m being polite?”

“Yes.”

So, Chuck hugged him instead. Minutes passed.

“I think we’re gonna be okay,” said Chuck.

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23

Financial advice from my father (when I was nineteen)

“Who was there for your father when he died?” Kim asked me a few moments ago. She's interested in becoming a death doula, so she's reading a book about end-of-life care.

“It's odd you should ask that today,” I said after I told her the story of my father's six-year battle with cancer.

“Why?” she asked.

“Today is the equivalent day in my life as the day when Dad died in his,” I said. “It's ten days until I turn fifty. Dad died ten days before his fiftieth birthday. So, it's a somber day for me. I'll be thinking of him all day.”

Actually, I've been thinking of Dad all week.

It started when I published Naomi Veak's story about how she learned to stop feeling hopeless about money. In that article, Veak shared a letter her mother sent her when she was nineteen years old. Veak was a poor kid at a rich school, and she was struggling to figure out finances. Her mother offered some words of wisdom.

I had the exact same thing happen to me at the exact same age at the exact same college. I was a poor boy at this rich school. During my sophomore year at Willamette University, when I was nineteen, my father wrote me a letter filled with financial advice.

Today seems like a good day to share it with you folks.

Everything that follows — starting with the title “J.D.'s Points to Ponder” — is from my father except that I've added a few notes in order to provide context to some of the things Dad wrote. (If you're super interested, I've uploaded a PDF version of Dad's letter.)

Here's my father's financial advice to me when I was nineteen years old. (This is unedited. All misspellings are his.)

J.D.'s Points to Ponder

Warning — Make sure you read them all. There may be some surprises in them so read them all or you will miss them.

#1 Your scholarship is irreplacable. There is no way that you or I can make up $9500.00 a year difference. Study comes first. Before you panic, read on. I hear you talk about working and unless I missed something somewhere you are talking 32 hours a week at least or was that 24 hours a month on campus?

J.D.'s note: I was fortunate to attend Willamette on a full merit scholarship, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to afford it. During my sophomore year, I really did work 32 hours per week. I worked three (sometimes four) part-time jobs.

#2 You were successful at saving a little over $1000.00 this summer. That's an achievement for you. We will try to do better next summer won't we.

#3 Nutrition is important. Don't slight it. It is your body that supports your mind. If you slight your body you slight your mind so eat your green beans.

#4 Wear clean underwear.

#5 You used to play lots of video games. One of them had a rocket and you had an energy level you had to worry about. Energy was used to travel and to shoot at the enemy. Life is a big videogame. In our society money is the energy. There are certain things you have to or should do so make sure don't shoot so many asteroids just for the fun of it that you deplete your energy level and someone has to flash on your screen —GAME OVER—.

#6 Girls can be handy. They are nice to talk to and smooch and some times they take pity on poor helpless males and cook them a meal + iron for them.

#7 I have two ounces of yellow metal left among other things. A good inducement to get your father thinking the right direction would be for you to make a budget and keep track of how well you stick to it.

J.D.'s note: As I've mentioned before, my father was into gold. But he was dumb about it. He bought high and sold low. Here, he's suggesting he might give me an ounce or two of his gold if I keep a budget.

#8 While we are on the subject let me throw out some ideas that would point to reasons for subconscious compulsive spending.

a. When you were little mom was busy in the business and would buy you a new toy almost everyday. It was a way of saying “I feel so guilty — here, this toy is my love for you.”

Your dad played the same game only it was in large a grand ways — tropical fish instead of gold fish etc.

The result would be a compulsion to spend when lonely. The cure is to “look at them and sigh and know they love you.” You are a big boy now and it is time to say goodby to that part of parenting you never had. Please don't wait till you're 40 to do so. I can think of a zillion mistakes we made but I will guartee [sic] you that we did the best we knew how. The answer is for you to identify and acknowledge the mistakes for what they are. Then you will be able to see the love that was there too and compulsion will leave.

b. Don't forget the Saint Helens tee shirts. I can bet you tap into those feelings a dozen times a day as you walk around campus and compare your situation with that of some of the others. Spending and collecting is a way of trying to prove that you have it too.

J.D.'s note: In 1980, things were especially tight for my parents. Dad was unemployed and there was little money to buy clothes for three growing boys. Before I started sixth grade that fall, Mom shopped the close-out racks. Some of the t-shirts she got me commemorated the Mount St. Helens eruption a few months earlier. I hated those shirts and was embarrassed to wear them, but my parents made me do so.

Cure

If this is the case the cure is to focus on the objective — getting through school — and realizing that the “it” that they have is privelege that come with wealthy parents. No matter what you spend you will not create wealthy parents. Focus on the “it” that you have that no amount of money can buy. Looks, brains, nice to be around, kindness, talent to name a few. Just remember, “you never saw a fish wishing he were a frog.”

J.D.'s note: Looking back with 2019 eyes, I find it interesting that my father mentions “privilege” here. Remember, Dad had a love-hate relationship with wealth. He wanted to get rich himself, but he resented the folks who already had money.

#9 Your parents love you! We talk about you everyday. it wouldn't hurt to call sometimes and invite them down for a minute or two. They might come with bags of groceries in each arm.

#10 I know the time will come when you may go on an adventure such as a move out of state or a trip to Australia or whatever else crosses that mind of yours. We will probably throw out all kinds of cautions. That's just what parents do but follow your dreams anyhow. Please don't ever move off without letting us know where you are and dropping a note once in a while just to say your OK. Parents have spent 18 years listening to your every breath and loosing sleep if you missed a breath and they just can't get out of that habit easily. You can do most anything you want and you will have our approval as long as we know you are OK.

#11 We need to get the title transfered on the car + some repairs made soon. The new guy I hired is also a mechanic so plan a Saturday out here real soon.

#12 If you maintain your apartment address over the summer it may be worth $3500 in grants next fall. You can come stay with us but you need to prove you are living on your own to be considered on your own income.

Final Thoughts Looking back, it's clear that I inherited most of my money blueprint from my mother and father. I picked up the same bad habits they had. But being a poor boy at a rich school led me to develop some new bad habits of my own. Dad could see these bad habits forming and was trying to help me before I got into trouble.

I didn't heed his advice, obviously, and so ended up deep in debt. How would my life have been different if I'd listened to his words of warning? I don't know.

Although my relationship with Dad was strained at the end of his life, I admired him a great deal. He had his faults — including poor money skills — but he was a dreamer, and he loved his family.

The post Financial advice from my father (when I was nineteen) appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/financial-advice-from-my-father/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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How to get Temporary Car Insurance for one week in Florida?

Heres the deal. In May a couple of my friends and I are going to fly into Florida to visit some relatives. They have an extra car that nobody uses on a day to day basis, so instead of renting a car for the week... we would rather drive this car around. The problem is insurance... I don't know anything about this if its possible or not. Is there anyway to get one of us insured to drive the car for a week, we are all insured drivers here in Michigan if that matters. Also would it make any difference that the car we are using is my Aunt's, so we are closely related. Any information, experience with this type of situation, contact numbers etc. would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!""

Any websites that can comapre insurance rates for different cars?

I am looking at new cars and this information would be very useful. Obviously rates depend a lot on the person getting the insurance. I am not looking for an exact number, just looking an easy way to compare rates based on different cars.""

What kinds of life insurance should I have?

I'm 30 years old, and my love is 39. I have an AD&D insurance policy from work listing him as the beneficiary. What other insurance should I purchase? We do not have any children. Do not say we're going to hell, or that we are sinners. If you've read the bible and truly believe in it, then you should know about judging others and casting stones.""

Does anybody have or had insurance thru esurance?

they are by far the cheapest i found for full coverage for me. i know cheaper isnt always better but i just need insurance because my car is financed. esurance isnt a very big name and i dont know anyone who actually has insurance thru them. anybody know how they are compaired to other companies?

Estimated car insurance cost for an 18 year old beginner driver?

I waited until I turned 18 until I went to get my drivers permit. I've had my permit since November 18 2009. I plan to stay on the permit until its expiration date. I'm not sure what car I plan to purchase after that, something affordable (nothing over the top) and that will last quite awhile. Now assuming all that, can any of you share with me what your car insurance payment is monthly, just an estimate of course. And throw in what type of car you have in so I can get a better idea. I'll be 19 at the time I finally get my license. My parents will not be adding me to their insurance, I have to pay for this on my own and I'd like to start putting some money away towards it so that I can make the payments with no problem later on. Are their any other things I can do to lower the cost of my car insurance as well?""

Why would young people refuse to sign up for inexpensive health insurance?

Don't they know they will soon be older people in need of affordable health care? Or that community rated affordable insurance depends on a high rate of participation? Why would they want to subvert a system they will soon depend on?

""What type of Life Insurance is best for my husband and I? (We just purchased a home, we are both 23 years old)""

My husband and I are both 23 years old and we just purchased a home. We have been under pressure from our Insurance Agent and our Mortgage broker to obtain Life Insurance in case something happens to one of us. We would like to have coverage in case something happens. I know the importance of Life Insurance, as my mom was killed in a car accident when she was only 38. So, we want to be protected, and we want our house to be safe. We are pretty much clueless when it comes to Insurance policies. I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE INFO ON WIKIPEDIA, SO PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME MORE OF THAT. I want opinions on what the best kind of Life Insurance is for us. Term (but if it is a 30 year term, does that mean when we are for example 54 and something happens after the 30 years, we aren't covered???) or Permanant (whole life, and others). We didn't like the decreasing term policy our agent showed us. We have gotten 2 quotes for Term Life. Help us make an informed decision!!! Please!""

Term Life Insurance Duration?

I'm thinking about taking out a Term Life Insurance policy on my ex, for $250,000; for ten (10) years. Is there any advantage in taking out a Term Life policy for $250,000; for five (5) years? Thanking you in advance for your expert assistance in this matter.""

How much will it costs me to cancel my Car Insurance?

Hi guys, I pay monthly installments on my car insurance and renewed my policy on 2nd February. Anyhow to cut a long story short I've bought a house with my fiancee and I work in Leeds now, and figured that it's cheaper to buy a monthly ticket for the train than it is to drive there, so want to cancel my insurance asap. I rang my insurance firm and they didn't give me an exact cost, only an admin fee of 29.95 to cancel, but mentioned that it is carried out on a 'pro-rata' basis. What does this mean and how much roughly am I looking to pay? I pay 51.00 a month at the moment...I'm confused.com! Thanks guys!! D""

Where I can get best auto insurance rates ?

Please find me a good web site to get some details about best auto insurance rates . For my research this data will be useful to me. thank you

""What would be a cheap car insurance company for me,19 yrs old?""

I did some quotes but some companies couldn't give me a quote.. don't know why though but I am trying to find out what would be a cheap good company for me. The car I was going to buy was the Pontiac grand am year 2000-2002. If you know anything, please let me know. Thanks!""

No proof of insurance ticket in Southern California?

I got pulled over for speeding. Got a speeding ticket plus a ticket for no proof of insurance 16028 (a). I do have insurance for the car but I forgot to put it in my car the day I got pulled over. If i show prove of insurance during the fine date, how much does it cost in calfiorina law. It is a correctable offense. I heard that I can get that offense dissmiss just by showing my prove of insurance. Is that correct?""

Will my car insurance change if?

I have two cars under my insurance .. one has had an accident and the payments went up.. now if I remove that car from my insurance cuz I wanna sell it does the other cars payment go up..

Are all sportsbikes expensive on insurance?

im wanting to get either a 2007 kawasaki zx6r or honda cbr250r. im 18 but i plan on getting one at 19 or 20 and it will only be on insurance during the summers. so do you know if those are expensive on insurance? would it be less than a car like a honda or toyota?

Baby Insurance at 19?

I doubt it will, but, I am 19 years old and I am still on my mom's insurance plan. So if I were to get pregnant, would the insurance cover my baby's delivery and pregnancy appointments or would I still have to pay the noninsured payments.""

Can anyone help me find a source that explains Hourly Cost to Employer for employee's health insurance?

I can't find anything that says how much a year or hour it costs employers to offer health insurance. I'm sure there is a range, but I'd just like to find anything factual that isn't someone's esteemed opinion, saying that Obamacare will save 30% on costs or Obamacare will cost employers Billions. I would like to find some real numbers and come up with my own ideas. Thanks, in advance for your assistance.""

Should i move to California?

im a senior in high school, i just finished my junior year so its the summer in between lol. i really want to move to california. i also want to go to college there too but im just worried about it. its really been stressing me out alot lately. so do you have any advice or suggestions?""

I need cheap but good car insurance what do you recommend?

I need cheap but good car insurance what do you recommend?

liberty insurance car insurance

liberty insurance car insurance

Is there such a thing as a joint life insurance plan?

Just wondering if there is such a thing that would cover my spouse and I on one policy. For ex. 20 or 30 year policy for around $150,000.00 where either myself or spouse would ride the policy.""

Can u get motorcycle insurance without a permit or license?

Can u get motorcycle insurance without a permit or license?

Where to find affordable life insurance at 64?

Where to find affordable life insurance at 64?

Where can I find affordable but a very good individual vision insurance plan?

I've check out VSP but I'm not sure if it's the best and only choice out there for me. I also live in Pennsylvania if that helps out any.

What is the price of a mini copper and its insurance?

just wondering what the price of a mini copper is to buy and the cheapest insurance? Details would be helpful Thankx

Car accident! they didnt have insurance! what cam i do?

last monday i was on a car accident,,,,(t-bone colission) it was there fault...i had a green light...she turned left at a red!.....but they dont have insurance...i need money to fix my car.....what can i do....? they told me thy were going to get my car fixed,,,but now they dont want to pay....and the even want to sew me! the police officer told me that i had to sew them cuz they didnt have insurance! what could happen in court!? what are the chances that theyll pay for my car!!? i live in texas....thanks""

Car insurance question?

So my car got scratched in a parking lot and I don't know who did it. I plan on filing a claim with my insurance company to get this fixed. My deductible is $500. My question is: What safeguards do insurance companies have in place to prevent me from changing my collision and comprehensive coverage to drop my deductible to $100, get my car fixed, then switch the coverage back to my normal rate?""

Who buys Insurance like State Farm? ?

If by any chance, anyone know what type of people buy insurance like age or lifestyle (single, or married etc.)? Is it normal for a teenage guy to look insurance up? -Insurance as in Auto, Life, and House and everything if that narrows it down but covering all those types""

Does anyone know cheap car insurance websites for a 22 year old driver?

hi i am a 22 year old driver and i live in london does anyone know any cheap car insurance web sites?

How much is the average insurance on a mustang v6 for a 16 year old?

How much is the average insurance on a mustang v6 for a 16 year old?

Insurance company trying to scam me?

I just bought Home owners insurance through a company that shall not be named. While going over my coverage I asked should I photograph all my things and she said no. I said what if I don't have my receipt because I got it on trade or something, don't have a bill of sale or something and she directly told me: don't worry, you don't need an inventory of your property. A friend of mine at work said he had a gun stolen from his truck recently and they denied his claim because he didn't register the gun/have a receipt. We like to trade guns and keep our business our own, so an inventory seems logical.... I think if something gets stolen from me their going to not cough up any money on grounds that I don't have proof I had it. They allowed to do this? Tell me don't inventory my crap and then not pay me because I didn't?""

Who has the best car insurance in NJ?

Who has the best car insurance in NJ?

What is the cheapest car and insurance?

What is the cheapest car and insurance?

Do you pay for motorcycle insurance all year round?

I have my M1 and am taking the m2 course in may but I will not be riding by myself until June. The insurance companies want 4600$ a year (18 male,Ontario). Do I still pay 4600$ for the remaining few months I can ride or does that cover me until June o next year? Someone please explain. Thanks""

What is the fastest and best looking insurance group 4 or 5 car i can get?

looking for a newer car to buy that is not just quick but looks good.

Who needs life insurance?

At what point in life should one stop buying term insurance?

What is the average cost for replacing a damaged A frame on a vehicle?

My friends son was driving her car and lost control hitting a curb, the right front passenger tire is now bent towards the back. I told her more than likely it is the lower A frame that is bent, my question is what would it cost to fix? She has a 2011 Dodge Caliber and no insurance, her husband and her separated a few months ago left her with no support and she couldn't afford to continue paying the insurance on the vehicle so she is now coming out of pocket. We just need a ballpark figure. Only serious answers please, no obvious dumb answers. Thank you in advance.""

Insurance question please?

hi i am a learner and but my partner has a car that is insured on his friends name. my question is my partner states he cannot teach me how to drive or put my name under the insurance because it would cost more and he might get into trouble with the police . i just want to know if this is true and if so like how much would it cost.

Will speeding convictions affect my car insurance?

I have to speeding convictions, the first one a went to a speed awareness workshop so i didnt recieve any points but on my second one i recieved 3 points on my license. Will this show on my insurance renewal and will it bump up my insurance rates? I have been driving for a year.""

""If i lie about my car mileage for auto insurance, will they eventually find out my real auto mileage?""

If i lie about my car mileage for auto insurance, will they eventually find out my real auto mileage?""

""Car payments, insurance and registration fees?""

I want to buy a car soon, but besides the car payment I was wondering how much it costs to register the car. Also I dont know if I have to register a car if Im buying a used car (itll be a newer year, but used). Im only 18 (female) and I just received my license a little while ago. Also how do I see how much insurance will cost me? Im on a budget because Im also attending college (graduated high school) and Im paying for everything myself. I do not have people to rely on for any financial aid. Though, I may ask for a car loan if I can get one. I live in the sate of Oregon (If laws vary in different states).""

How much will insurance cost after getting a DUI?

Does someone know how much roughly insurance will probably cost after a DUI? Perhaps someone who has had one in the past could tell me.

Can I put car insurance in my name on my brothers car?

My brother recently got a dui and he already has sr-22 insurance. His license is going to be taken away and he lost his job because his job involoved driving a vehicle. He wont be able to pay for his insurance and car. I don't have the credit to out right buy his car from him but loan is in his name. I want to take over his payments for him cause he wont get back out of the car what he owes the bank. The bank will let him keep the car as long as the payments are made I know that, but will they allow me to put full coverage insurance on his car and drive it? I am trying to save his credit and his car from gettin takin""

""Insurance, Drivers license, and insurance all from different states?""

Someone has told me that this is illegal and that it falls under the tri-state law but I havent been able to find any links or anything describing this situation. Im wondering because my husband has a California license and our truck is registered in Arizona with Missouri insurance (we live in Missouri now & my husband is active duty Army) When we contacted our insurance company when we moved here they just informed us that we would just need to make sure our insurance has where we currently live & keep the vehicle. According to the person who told me their husband had a TX license, KY registration, and NC insurance.""

Why isn't the Affordable Healthcare Act more like car insurance?

I'm just wondering why no one thought to copy how car insurance works to work with healthcare. Think about it, we'd save a lot on government spending. Those who buy healthcare, are covered through insurance. If you don't buy healthcare, it is up to you to buy it, and if you're asked to show proof of health insurance and don't have it, you're fined. It's simple, easy, and perfectly understandable by anyone. So.. if it works for car insurance... why wouldn't it work for health insurance?""

liberty insurance car insurance

liberty insurance car insurance

Auto Insurance?

I have a 1981 Chevy Silverado that I have poured money into over the years. I was wanting to full coverage seeing as how much money I have put into it. These trucks are very common so they aren't worth a lot. I'd say the going rate for a nice specimen would be $3,500 in my area. I have somewhere around $10,000-$12,000 invested in mine. Can I have it insured for what I have in it or just what its worth? I've never had full coverage insurance so I have no idea. Thanks for any input.""

How will the insurances work out with 95 car accidents at one scene?

Just wonder because of news yesterday at California highway. I don't know about law in that state but what if it's like this in new york where I live. Ya know whoever fault will pay by their own insurance for repairs and injury for victims and a vehciles. Same for most state. How would 95 different insurance handle it? It might will have several lawsuits. With 95 cars, hard to say who started the accident and whatever if it's one person cause 95 altogther or all 95 is fault on it own. Some may not even have insurance. There would be 95 different drivers so it will be 95 different verison or story of what happening. The court with lawyers and several case line up, it can last 100 years before it all done.""

Maternity Insurance?

I'm looking for health insurance that I can have for basic coverage, and at somepoint (if needed) add maternity coverage. Everything I have looked at so far will only cover ...show more""

""If you move to a higher-cost car insurance state, when does the increase take effect?""

If I move to a new state that has higher car theft and higher minimums, which I imagine would definitely increase my premium, would I have to pay as soon as I told the company of the address change? Or, would the increase only be seen on my next bill (a few months later)? This is for moving from Arizona to Washington, if it matters. Thanks!""

Best car insurance quote for a 17 year old. (UK)?

im going on my parents insurance, and i need the cheapest insurance as possible. i heard a company named something like 'quantitive' do a good price? but im not sure... looking for no more than 2000""

Does car insurance get significantly cheaper when you turn 21?

Does car insurance get significantly cheaper when you turn 21?

Any suggestions on best Health Insurance for a diabetic?

My son is in his late twenties, without health insurance and was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, requiring him to take insulin daily. We are trying to help him with this financially, and bills are enormous. Any ideas on what might be the best health insurance plan for him? Thanks in advance for any suggestions.""

Is there an insurance that gives the same benifits as AAA at a lower price?

AAA is awsome but expenisve is there any other car insurance that offers the same benifits at a lower price

What is this type of insurance called? And how much?

So from general information, i know typically an arena will say that you need some insurance to cover (X) amount, like $1,000,000. My question is how does that person get that insurance? What does the insurance policy look like? And how much would he/she have to pay to get that insurance?""

Where can I sign up for just 1 week of health insurance?

I just graduated and I will have travel health insurance (for a extended trip celebrating graduation) until September 16th and my health insurance from my new job will start on Septemeber 21st. Everything online for health insurance keeps giving me monthly rates -- is there a way I can just buy 1 week's worth of insurance? (I live in Massachsuetts, so while I would normally go uninsured for 5 days, I hear it might cause me huge tax issues under the new mandatory health insurance laws)""

Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

I was looking at prices online for one person and it's between 2K and - 3k for 6 Months just for me and my friends are own there parents insurance and they only pay 100 - 200 a month is that true about that? Where close to the same age.

Car Insurance Online Chat?

Does anyone know if there is a car insurance company that offers online chat with a representative? If so, which one? A lot of the ones I am looking at ask for all of your information and if when I call others they put you on hold for a long time!""

Do I qualify for my parents health insurance?

I have a job that offers health insurance at a price I'm in school I'm 22

Do any of you have insurance?

Car insurance cell phone insurance life insurance health insurance renters insurance homeowners insurance Title insurance Troll insurance No matter what the product its good to have insurance AM I RIGHT?

How do you find out if buisness's / companys have insurance?

how do you find out if a newspaper company has insurance

""Spouse suspended license, live together, can I get auto insurance?""

Actually, it is my son in law who has a suspended license. My Daughter's policy was canceled and she wants to start a new policy, but she says that no insurance company will touch her because she lives with someone with a suspended license. Is this for real? Sound like a bunch of hog-wash to me. She lives in Massachusetts.""

Car insurance first time owner?

Hi, I'm an international student with USA drivings license in Fl. I'm covered by my boyfriends car insurance company in order to drive his car but that's everything what I have as insurance. I'm on my way on buying a new car and I don't know what to do. Because I have my driving's license for an less than year the rates are pretty high. Almost 500$ for a month. Does anybody know any cheap insurance company that will help me to overcome this obstacle and moreover is there any other trick that I can use in order to reduce the rates. Thank you in advance.""

Most Comprehensive Health Insurance for a College Student?

I'll be going to college in a few years, and I'm fully aware of the healthcare crisis. Although money is an issue, my health is more important. Assuming that money is not ...show more""

What is the cost of an insurance for a 250 cc scooter? (Louisiana)?

I know that there are many options, but a vague answer is fine. I just want to know if it will be around 100$ or 500$.""

What is the average car insurance rate for a teenager?

I am currently under my mom's insurance. I don't know what she has, but she said after I get my license I need to give her $1200 up front for my part of the insurance. Is there anything cheaper I can get on my own? JSYK: I am a 17 year old about to get a license in 10 days. I have a 3.8 GPA and got over a 90 on the written portion to get my permit. I live in New Jersey, and I am a female. I currently have about $1,100 saved from working the passed few months but I need some of it for band camp and I am paying for my car. My parents won't put anything forth to help me with the payments.""

Is a 1978 lincoln mark v cheap to insure?

i am looking at a very cheap car to insure. i was looking into one of these classic cars. i currently drive a 1995 ford explorer V6 and its RWD that costs $140 a month on insurance and it gets worse gas mileage than a 1969 lincoln mark iii. as far as i know, this is a 34 year old car and registration is probably gonna cost 50 bucks or less and i live in NH. im 19 and have no tickets or accidents, will the lincoln mark v be cheaper than my explorer. i only have liability""

Cheapest Car Insurance here in Florida?

My wife will going to finance a car this month. A ford focus to be specific and its my first time to avail an Auto Insurance but I'm driving for four years in Philippines and I'm now 24 yrs old. Some advice what car insurance company is the cheapest for first time buyer and who doesn't have a credit history? My wife is 29 and we got our license here in Florida last month. I drive for more than 4 years and my wife just learned how to drive last year before we went here in US.

Infiniti g35 insurance rate for a 19 year old?

Infiniti g35 insurance rate for a 19 year old?

Will my car insurance skyrocket if I switch from a '97 to a '09?

I live in NYC so my car insurance is already astronomical. I drive a 97 Saturn right now and Im thinking of getting a Prius because of gas prices. Do you think my insurance will increase by a lot because of the difference in model and year? I know I could just get a quote but that's a process with my insurance company.

How much does insurance cover?

I have blue cross shield insurance I am fourteen how much would I be for Invisalign On my bottom teeth? I got braces on my top years ago The insurance covered all of my tonsilectomy we paid nothing out of pocket.

liberty insurance car insurance

liberty insurance car insurance

If the insurance company totals my car do they keep it?

My car is old. Its a 95 Neon and it was backed into this weekend. We got one estimate of 2600 but that is more than the car cost. If we go thru the insurance company and they total the car will they keep the car or let us keep it. It still runs fine.

Insurance rebate?

If you cancel your car insurance, do you get a rebate as you do with road tax?""

What are the risks with Co-signing on a car and putting insurance in my name for a bf?

My daughters father needs a new and wants us to get it together. I would be co-signing on the car and the insurance would be in my name. It would mainly be his car, I would only pay $100/month on the insurance. I'm very hesitant about doing this as a) our relationship is rocky b) he has a bad record...many tickets/fines to the point where he could not get approved for insurance c) I dont want to get screwed over. He's pretty upset that im saying I dont want to, and is complaining that he cant rely on me, but I feel im protecting myself and my credit. So what exactly are the risks, and how can I get him to understand why I'm saying no?""

Cheapest car insurance south australia?

what is and the price, for the cheapest car insurance places in south australia for a japanese import car with a turbo for a p plater, 16 years old, nealry 17? thanks""

Can an insurance co suspend your liscense ?

the insurance co is threatening that a suspension is in progress if a payment is not made. payments have been made for the past 3 years but now they want the remaining 2000, and said they can suspend the liscense. Is this true? in the state of CA""

Which auto insurance carrier is best?

I want to find a reliable company. I've looked into Geico and Allstate... just don't know how they handle claims and things. Any input?

How can I start an auto insurance business in California?

How can I start an auto insurance business in California?

I have question about car insurance?

so i literally bought my car insurance 2 days ago and i just got into a accident .... i have full coverage and a guy ran his red light and hit me and just left... will my insurance company think that i was just telling a lie or will they help me...i have progressive...

Why are so many Americans so damn dumb?

why don't they realize things like how the insurance companies are screwing them? Insurance companies keep 30% of every dollar spent and it goes in their pocket. They exist to deny you service, to keep you sick. America is the only industrialized country in the world without universal health care. I await the predictable comments about that, fed to most americans by the likes of hannity, savage and limbaugh, all with great health insurance.....so, why are so many americans so damn dumb?""

Can I trust American Health Insurance?

I'm going to an American university and I have to buy student health cover. How trustworthy is it actually? If I get sick, will the insurance just say that my injury/illness isn't covered and left me to die - even if it's an insurance company that the university requires students to buy insurance from??""

Why at 22 years old is a first time drivers insurance so dam high?

Yeah so the title says it all. Has anyone got any tips on how to lower insurance down a bit I'm looking at prices from 2k-2.4k at the moment and that's only on a 1.3 ford fiesta. Hopefully someone has a few tips on how to get the cheaper insurance ;p

Where can i get really cheap auto insurance. when i turn 18 I am getting my own car and own insurance.?

I don't make that much money probably only about 200-300 dollars a month so I wanted to know where i could get the cheapest car insurance in ME. i don't want to do a car quote now because I am not old enough and I don't actually have my license and a car now but I would just like an average or what around what the cheapest cost is. Thanks

Is healthcare ever going to be affordable again in our country?

I just got an e-mail saying that my insurance premiums are going up again and now I'm going to be paying $500+ per month for insurance premiums. This is for a high deductable plan where I have to meet $2,500 in deductable before I get covered at 100%! It's like my raises don't matter anymore and they only serve to keep my head above water when each year when my insurance spikes. I get hit harder than anyone because I am in the employee plus family category. 1. Is there a ray of hope at the end of this tunnel? Will we ever get back to affordable health care (us guys that don't work for huge companies)? 2. Are there any alternative solutions for me out there? I can get covered 100% for employee only, but my wife and child need coverage. Please Help

What should i do with my insurance to test drive cars?

I am looking at a car tomorrow that i will more than likely buy. My insurance is comprehensive but says the driving of other cars extension is not included for any driver named on the policy I have phoned my insurance company Diamond and the guy said it would cost me 17.50 to insure the car for a day third party. I undestand that third party means if i bump someone my insurance pays for their damage but not for mine. If i decide to buy the car should i be getting fully comprehensive for the day?

How to get health insurance?

how does a student (college) go about getting health insurance? i used to be on my sisters insurance but she is currently not working there anymore and has lost her insurance, therefore am not covered anymore. How do i get health insurance?? thanks""

Anyone have Mega Insurance?

It's supposed to be for the self employed. Is the high premium worth the benefits or even the coverage compared to other insurance companies out there (like e health insurance.com)

What happens if i cancel by car insurance?

I have recently turned 17 and can start driving in the UK. There is obviously a large difference between insurance quotes for my car depending on whether i hold a provisional license or a full license. While i am on a provisional i can get a quote for 620 with Quinn-Direct but this will go up to 2000+ after i pass my test. What happens if i buy my insurance then cancel it when i pass my test and get a quote from elsewhere, (I can get one for 1400) will i get a percentage of my money back or will it just be lost? Cheers Rob""

SO confused about this car insurance issue?

ok, due to being in the hospital giving birth, i missed a second payment on my car insurance in one term. i was told by my broker that was it, there was nothing i could do, they would cancel. my insurance company is ING. i said ok so what next? she told me on july 10th that they were sending out a registewred letter that day stating it was cancelled (my payment was late on june 25th). 2 wks later i had not received anything so i called my broker again. this was at 1 pm (they close at 4) and no one called me back. finally, i called back again, she called ING and called me back saying ok they said if you can pay it today it wont be cancelled (i had asked MULTIPLE times if this was an option, i was told no) by the time she told me that, it was 330 pm. I live a 1/2 drive away and by the time i got the baby together, went to the bank etc, it would be after their closing time so i couldnt do that. i contacted another broker who my mother deals with and he told me that they would send me my""

Wich car will cost more?

wich car will cost more in insurance? im a 16 year old boy with a3.0. i dont need exact prices just wich costs more. 2004 mustang v6 or 2004 silverado 1500 access cab 5.3 litre v8. thank you

Is there an insurance that will insure me and not my car?

my friend had an insurance that insured just him for any car he was driving idk what it was called but it was only for ohio residents anyway(im in pa) ....how would it work?

Insurance on 2011 subaru STI?

I'm 19 sold my truck that had become a money pit and saved about 5 grand to put down on a new car. I make about $1950 a month at my job and have been there for a year. I came across a subaru Impreza STI for the price of $29000 only has 400 miles on the car and I can afford the payments per month (around $400) I'm just curious about insurance costs. I'm 19 been driving for 3 years no accidents and no tickets... What should I expect for insurance per month??(ballpark estimate) my insurance guy is not in til tomorrow just asking to see what you guys think

If I had this non fault accident would my car insurance still gone up?

Okay a week ago I was about to have an accident I passed a railroad track when no train was comming and the bars were up as well so I passed the railroad and I made a turn so this had a stop sign at a corner and didn't make a complete stop so I was passing since I didn't have a stop sign or yield sign and this guy just stepped on the gas and went into the wrong way and then he tried to jump into the way that I was going and I was about to hit him because there wasn't enough space for him to change lanes safely. And so I remember that the day that my dad went to get insurance for his car they told him that they had a record of the accident that he had back in 1991 which wasn't his fault.

How much is car insurance for a 19 year old female in south carolina?

How much is car insurance for a 19 year old female in south carolina?

Do you need proof of car insurance to get your license in Illinois?

Do you need proof of car insurance to get your license in Illinois?

What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

so im gonna get a motorcycle but i dont know much about all the insurance and stuff..and i just wanted to know which is the cheapest? i go to school with a guy who pays $80 every 3 months, which is only about $26 every month, which seems like a pretty good deal.""

liberty insurance car insurance

liberty insurance car insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/safeco-home-insurance-online-quote-kyle-rivera"