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tender-rosiey · 3 years

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I don’t know if you’ve done this before so ignore this if you have, but could I have some dazai and akutagawa jealousy headcanons please? btw, happy 700+

❥ Dazai and Akutagawa when jealous

ᴀ/ɴ: AHAHA I AM FINALLY BACK AND POSTED SOMETHING and I am so sorry that this is late. hope you like it, luv; thanks 💕

DAZAI OSAMU

Let’s see

Dazai would be pretty secretive or good at hiding it when he is jealous out in the public

Like let’s say for example, someone is hitting on you or trying to take too much of your attention

Then dazai will way too cheerfully join the conversation, placing an arm around your waist pulling you close to hint that you are taken

In addition to staring coldly at them to hint obviously that they are not wanted around you and are not welcomed

And so after the cheerful approach towards the person hitting on you, when you both come back he is asserting and making the idea that you belong to him even more clear but to you

Like he will be SUPER clingy and keep cuddling you like a big ass koala 🐨

“Babyyyyyyyy, just put attention to me please!”

“Osamu, you are ON me, what more attention do you want?”

“I don’t know maybe start kissing me and telling me how I am the best boyfriend you ever had and probably the only you will ever have and that you love me??”

He says it like it’s very very obvious like dude, it’s okay to be petty but calm down we have more than y/n for everybody in here

Your y/n probably has a lover in another universe and he calls her sweet little sugar boo cakes and kisses her

You are the only one

For example I have more than 4 different husbands, they book registrations for my time though

Anyways this isn’t about me (nothing is about me 🤧 *dramatic hand on forehead*)

Dazai lives up to his famous nickname in this blog which is:

🪅✨⁉️ 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡 ⁉️✨🪅

That happens by the fact that I do feel, that 200% he will make a big ass scene when he feels like letting the inner little shit out and not bothering to hide it, and just throw himself on you yeah just throw and basically cover you with himself

“OH MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE! I CANT BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE SO BLIND NOT SEE OUR BLINDING LOVE AS WE ARE SITTING HERE BEING LOST IN EACH OTHER’S EMBRACE! THEY MUST BE LOST IN THE WORLD OF JEALOUSY AND ENVY OF OUR RELATIONSHIP!!”

Will then check slyly, while being scolded by you about how he made too much of a scene and made everyone cringe away, if the asshole who was checking you out is gone while dazai is just smiling at his defeated face

Dazai Osamu will fight a bitch for you if it leads to it and is absolutely necessary

Like throw hands fight a bitch

Most of the time he will just settle for shit talking whoever is with you, even if it’s a friend (petty bitch)

Because in his words, he said and I quote:

“I am your lover,boyfriend, husband, and all in between; you are O B L I G A T E D to LOVE ME like a normal lover and show me ATTENTION instead of…t h a t person over there.”

Once again, a very very petty bich

He said it with such a disgusted face like baby, they just patted their shoulder

They didn’t ask for their hand in marriage and make them pregnant with 12 of theirs kids, you loser

AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE

Truth be told

Sometimes akutagawa lowkey scares me

Like guys do you see his look??

anyhoot 🦉

When he gets jealous, it’s quite��interesting

You basically have THE scary dog privileges so I genuinely have no idea who in their right mind would get in 2 meters near from you let alone hit on you even in an imaginary headcanons post

They must’ve drank something pretty strong or just don’t value their life or maybe they hung out with dazai a little too much

Either ways they are throwing their lives away by even looking at you

Now look, akutagawa trusts you

Like a lot

He wouldn’t date you if he didn’t trust you like crazy

It’s just people are so y u c k

They don’t get the hint

They check out taken people like there isn’t a gazillion other obviously single hell there someone crying to their bestie about it beside them

But they just look at you

HIS perfect baby

HIS pretty baby

And so he gets jelly and they get the glare that would’ve killed them twice and burned them then burned their ashes and drowned them if looks could kill 🥰

It’s a win win situation :>

Meanwhile he is just glaring at them the whole time like “STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY.”

And

he will be grumpy the rest of the day, literally the human representation of the emoji: >:€

Like yes I get it you are mad that they took 5 minutes from our alone time but you don’t have to ‘tch’ every time I love you?!

He is as petty as his mentor

Just an aggressive type of petty

Still he hugs you and kisses your forehead cause you don’t deserve to be treated badly just because stupid feelings like jealousy exist

Plus he knows you are hot asf and will get looks from those stupid idiots who look at you like you are the best thing in their life

And you are

But they don’t get to touch or look

And if you say you aren’t then shut up or I will kiss you

Back to our no-eyebrow lookin lover

He will probably fight a bitch for you

…okay maybe not fight just kill

—not probably just most definitely

Akutagawa is most definitely going to snap the neck of someone for you

E S P E C I A L L Y if their nasty ass hands touched you

Like no no no honey

You don’t touch what isn’t yours

And you definitely don’t touch someone who is uncomfortable with it

After successfully burying the body and getting rid of the evidence professionally like his mentor taught him (it’s dazai slander in my mind right now and I humbly apologize)

He will wash his hands and proceed to demand affection grumpily

“Y/N get over and cuddle me.”

“But ryuu I am cooking.”

“Food can wait; I want to cuddle.”

“It’s your favorite though.”

“Cuddles can wait; I want food.”

Let’s you play with Rashomon too so he can remind you that he is THE ONLY ONE who has him and that he loves you enough not to make him bite into your flesh

It’s true love, your honor ☺️

This is a clownery, why did my ice cream melt

The things I do for writing 🙄

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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xlachlvn-blog · 5 years

Text

「 ☆ ━ CHRIS EVANS , CISMALE , THIRTY SEVEN. it seems like everyone knows about lachlan hurst, the assiduous retired association football player that i actually heard is pretty reticent. he has been living in the city for four years, and they always remind me of freshly laundered flannel embracing warmth against bare torso & grass-stained cleats vigorously pounding into the earth with each running stride. actually, they’ve sort of ruined lover, you should’ve come over by jeff buckley for me, since they’re always playing it.

howdy folks !! name’s kenny and i’m the new idiot ‘round these parts sdfhadgk first of all can’t believe it took me a whole ass 24 hrs to get this up i’m sorry for being mia but man .... the classes immediately followed by work combo wrecks my entire existence somedays anYhoot , below the cut is all u need to know abt the Big Guy here pls excuse the mess :~)

basics

name lachlan alistair hurst nicknames lach, or lachy age thirty seven birthday may third zodiac taurus gender cismale orientation heteroromantic heterosexual hometown leytonstone, london occupation private school soccer coach

physical

faceclaim chris evans hair color brown eye color blue height 6'0" build muscular marks/scars various small scars over his legs and knees, a few on his hands and arms tattoos taurus zodiac symbol on his left shoulder, his mom’s fav verse from the bible scripted below his collarbone, ‘loyalty’ written across his right shoulder piercings none

personality

positive assiduous, ludic, devoted, altruistic negative reticent, impulsive, stubborn, insouciant alignment lawful good house gryffindor religion christian (non-practicing)

history

grew up in leytonstone , london. his mother was a hairdresser and worked at / managed her own shop. his father was a civil engineer , working mostly in construction , but also coached the football team of the school lachlan eventually attended. his parents were fanatical manchester united supporters and would frequently travel to old trafford from london to attend the team’s home matches. lachlan inherited his parents’ love for manchester united and his main sporting passion was football , always scrimmaging with some of the other kids at the park and in the schoolyard.

he wanted to be #1 in everything he did as he grew older , but favoured sports over academics in school , and was super stressed & resorted to drinking to numb himself. refused to do drugs or smoke bc he didn’t want to “damage his body”……hypocrite bc yO ur liver bro. struggled a little with his identity and what he wanted in life (( no thanks to his dadager )) , had to go through a little self-care to rediscover his passion for football , focusing all his negative feelings toward it (( created by his dad )) to his dad instead, which royally fucked what minuscule father / son relationship they had.

- dad was his personal trainer, basically his life coach; ‘dadager’ dad version of momager. had more of a business relationship than a father / son relationship. dad didn’t care abt hurting lachlan’s feelings , he was always super frank and critical of his son’s performance.

- mom is #1 fan / supporter , wants only for him to be happy , worried abt how hard he pushes himself. lachlan never wants to let his mom down or show vulnerability / weakness so he’s closed off from her emotionally; keeping all negative feelings / thoughts from her; acting like everything is ok/normal.

attended london metropolitan university and majored in kinesiology as his dad’s plan ‘b’ for him to become a sports therapist / help him understand the mechanics of his own body in order to help prevent or nurture any injuries he may receive. he was a fake frat bro; attended wild ragers and planned social events to develop a bond with his teammates , not bc he was interested in the party scene. despite how boring-routine it turned, his future wife caught his eye (( and heart )) at parties / events. she was unlike the crowd he associated himself with and he found her very presence was exhilarating.

a year into their relationship, he was scouted by a rep of manchester united where his professional career started. however , when rosalind made the decision to move continents , he couldn’t leave england with her to america as he was tied up in commitments with his career. it really did a number on him to lose her but even through his devastation , he still respected her decision to better her own career.

while playing his third season with manchester united , his dad ended up dying from a massive heart attack , which left lachlan with a lot of bottled up unresolved resentment and a heavy load of guilt for not trying to make amends.

he won the premier league title five times and eventually signed a five year contract with major league soccer club la galaxy , prompting his move from england to america. reconnecting with rose and eventually rekindling their relationship , he spent more of his time in new york than his new home in california , eventually moving across the country to be with her.

once his contract with la galaxy was up , rather than renew the contract or sign with another team , lachlan’s body decided it was a good time to retire. however , his passion for the sport never ceased , and he decided to take up a coaching position (( like father-like son?? )) at a private school in the city.

so idk in a nutshell..... he’s just trying his best to be the complete opposite of his father rip. he’s not abt showing off or gloating abt his achievements in life, he’s a spokesperson for “work hard, earn ur shit, but also be kind to urself”. he’s not abt the party life anymore, he would lit fake the black plague to avoid Big Socializing Energy gatherings, but he loves to reminisce and hear other ppl’s stories ?? u know, compare battle scars or whatever. basically everyone’s friendly & chill neighbourhood #Dad

#luxes.intro #( ⋄ ` ⟡ — filed under ; intro ｡ )

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harvocs-blog · 5 years

Text

* ☆ ·˚ 「 kj apa. cismale. he/him. 」 — oh , you mean harvey bourne , the twenty two year-old aspiring musician ? they’ve been around the fold for three years . i know they’re a sagittarius and when i see them , i can’t help but think of fingertips scraping across the round-wound strings of a guitar , the “ ginger kids ” south park episode , and freshly laundered flannel embracing warmth against bare torso . but you’ll get to make your own judgement soon !

howdy folks !! name’s kenny and i’m the new idiot ‘round these parts sdfhadgk first of all can’t believe it took me a whole ass 24 years to get this up i’m sorry but man…. the classes immediately followed by work combo wrecks my entire existence somedays anYhoot , below the cut is all u need to know abt the Big Guy here pls excuse the mess :~)

i have a pinterest board for him here ! wanted cons are just..... gifsets i reblog sdfhudgjkf and they can be found here ! ok onto the show

basics

name harvey jasper bourne nicknames harv age twenty two birthday may third zodiac sagittarius gender cismale orientation heteroromantic heterosexual hometown honolulu, hawaii occupation aspiring musician (( lowkey camboy to bring in the major $$$ flow ))

physique

faceclaim kj apa hair color red eye color brown height six foot build muscular marks/scars various small scars over his legs and knees, a few on his hands and arms tattoos canon to fc piercings none

personality

positive venturesome, magnanimous, ludic, assiduous negative reticent, impulsive, stubborn, insouciant alignment lawful good house gryffindor religion christian (non-practicing)

history

ok so uhhhh harv here grew up in hawaii and he always wanted to meet dog the bounty hunter as a little boy like.... he wanted to BE dog.

being signed up for almost every sport under the sun by his dad, he was p athletic and excelled in most sports. and thUS the dadager was born

papa bourne pushed harvey to the Xtreme 24/7 to be the absolute best. literally anything but first place was a fail in his books and that put a lot of stress and pressure on poor lil harv

so yah his dad was his personal trainer, basically his life coach. had more of a business relationship than a father / son relationship. his dad never cared abt hurting harvey’s feelings, he was always super frank and critical of his son’s performance.

harv’s mom however, the lil angel, was his #1 fan / supporter. she wants only for him to be happy & worries abt how hard he pushes himself. ofc harvey never wants to let his mom down or show vulnerability / weakness so he’s closed off from her emotionally; keeping all negative feelings / thoughts to himself & acting like everything is a-ok.

so as he grew older, he ofc wanted to be #1 in everything he did, but favoured sports over academics. he was super stressed & resorted to drinking to numb himself and rid of the negative feelings. #ClassicJock. refused to do drugs or smoke tho bc he didn’t want to “damage his body”........ hypocrite bc yO ur liver bro.

struggled a little with his identity and what he wanted in life (( no thanks to his dadager )), had to go through a little self-care to rediscover his passion for sports, focusing all his negative feelings toward it (( created by his dad )) to his dad instead, which royally fucked what minuscule father / son relationship they had.

as a positive tho he discovered his passion for music. it helped him get through a lot of rough shit, hard times. his grandmother taught him how to play guitar and he practiced the absolute shit out of it & performed at parties / while hanging out with friends

after graduating high school, instead of getting scouted or going off to university on an athletics scholarship, harvey got the fuck outta there. he didn’t wanna be a pro athlete, as much as he enjoyed playing baseball / basketball / football. he wanted to be a got damn rock star

sO i mean yah his dad basically disowned him and his mom cried bc her baby boy was growing up and flying the coop, and harv hopped on a plane to los angeles, california to “make it big” and move into a communal living apartment with a bunch of wicked ppl

fast forward three years later, he’s working the odd job (( bus boy, pizza delivery boy, taxi driver, etc )), but also playing gigs at various pubs / bars around the city to get his name out there. he’s genuinely enjoying life and doing whatever tf he wants within budget sdhugf

i feel like he brings a “groupie” to almost every party thrown at the apartment jfc like he’s not rly a fuckboy but he appreciates the companionship.......whether it works out to something more or not sfasdfag

he’s a diehard Bro, will do anything for his bros (male/female/non-binary - he basically calls everyone bro/dude)

he loves to party and do crazy shit so if u wanna get in trouble with a bud ???? count harv in

uhhhhh ? idk what else to write im tired & hungry but if anyone would like to plot a lil somethin !! pls feel free to slide into my ims B)

#love me longtime #ill love u longtime #( ⋄ ` ⟡ — filed under ; intro ｡ )#foldintro

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