#anon please I'm sobbing. absolutely masterful post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fialleril · 6 years

Note

Please feel free to ignore this if you don't have anything you feel like parting with at the moment, but I'm having a bad mental health day and would really appreciate a snippet. I don't have a preference for anything in particular, except maybe something where someone is justified in their anger (aka like 3/4th of everything you write, which tbh is probably my favorite part of your fics - I love it when characters are allowed to be angry). I'd be happy with anything though really

Hi anon! I’m really sorry I’m replying to this late, but I hope you found some good coping strategies and I hope that you’ll still find something good in this snippet, late as it is.

Also I’m both amused and delighted by your description of my writing priorities. :)

So this is a bit from fairly early on in Anabasis, though it’s a bit spoilery for all that.

I’ve posted a lot of the bits with Anakin being angry, so here for a change of pace is some angry Padmé.

In which Padmé confronts the Jedi Council and meets Shmi and Kitster.

There’s nothing at all explicit here, but just to be safe, warnings for implications of harm to children and slavery.

The Council was still gathered when Padmé burst through thegreat doors, trailed by two distraught Jedi padawans, still trying to convinceher that the Council Chamber was off limits, and by a resigned Obi-Wan Kenobi.Sabé followed after them all, managing to keep up without breaking her leisurelystroll.

The five other members of the Council all looked up at herappearance, their eyes narrowing in disapproval, all except for Yan Dooku, whowas openly smirking. But all of Padmé’s attention was for the two who stood inthe center of the room, the woman and her son, who spun now to face her, swiftand silent in a way that was all too familiar.

Padmé stared at the woman. She was worn and drab and hereyes held an anger and a sorrow so deep that it had turned to silence. She hadAnakin’s face.

Her eyes were brown, not blue, and her hair was darker whereit wasn’t grey, but the resemblance was unmistakable. It was like looking atAnakin through a strangely distorted mirror.

Behind her, Padmé heard Sabé’s faint but audible sound ofsurprise. There could be no question about who this woman was.

“Most irregular this is, Senator Amidala,” said Yoda,frowning.

Padmé drew herself up with her most regal bearing and glaredat each of the Jedi in turn.

“It seems, Master Jedi,” she said, “that you have beenwithholding information relevant to my investigation.”

The atmosphere in the room grew distinctly colder.“Cooperated fully with the Senate, this Council has,” said Yoda.

“And will continue to do so,” added Mace. His eyes narrowed.“What is it you believe we’ve withheld, Senator?”

Padmé glanced at Shmi and Kitster. They were standing stiffand straight, close beside one another but not touching. It was a protectivestance, defiant but not afraid. These were people used to having the worldagainst them.

“It’s come to my attention,” said Padmé, “that the Jedi wereaware of Anakin’s presence on Tatooine. That he was identified as a child byMaster Ki-Adi-Mundi, and left there as a slave.” She paused, swallowing backthe horror of her own reflection, and met Master Windu’s eyes unflinchingly.“It’s my belief, based on the available evidence, that Palpatine was able todiscover Anakin because of the Jedi’s report.”

Shmi stiffened, her face turning to stone. Kitster claspedher hand and stared at Padmé with wide eyes.

“Palpatine?” Shmi whispered. “You mean the Emperor? The Emperor took my son?”

The Jedi looked at one another, but they said nothing.

Padmé met the other woman’s eyes with compassion, but herwords were cool and clipped. “Yes. He did.”

She turned on the Jedi, her eyes blazing. “Did you everintend to tell me, Master Jedi? Or did you think this was somehow irrelevant tothe Senate’s investigation?”

Mace Windu’s face was thunderous, while Yoda’s eyes hadnarrowed sharply and Obi-Wan looked openly distressed. Madame Nu and MasterGallia held more neutral expressions, yet they too seemed disturbed. But it wasDooku who spoke.

“I think you give us too much credit, Milady,” he said, notunkindly. “The vergeance that Master Mundi encountered on Tatooine was, forbetter or worse, merely a footnote in his report. I don’t believe anyone hasconnected that child with our Sith Lord until this very moment. Are youabsolutely certain they are the same?”

Padmé opened her mouth, ready to present her evidence, butbeside her Shmi had tensed and stood now thrumming with barely controlledemotion.

“Of course I’m certain!” Anakin’s mother snapped. “He is my son. I knew him then, and I know him now,even if he doesn’t remember me. I will always know him.” She trembled as shespoke, but her voice was steady and hard as steel. “I wanted a better life forhim. He deserved better than a slave’s life. And when the Jedi sent MasterMireus, when he said they’d reconsidered,I sent Anakin with him. I wanted him to be free.”

Padmé breathed in sharply, and at the sound all the rigidityseemed to melt from the older woman’s bones. Shmi gasped, her legs staggeringbeneath her, and Kitster caught her and held her against his chest, though hisown arms were trembling. They held each other up, shaking and sobbing like twotrees in a storm, and Padmé watched them, all her words forgotten.

“I sent him,” Shmi whispered, over and over again, a brokenlitany. “I sent him.”

Padmé started forward, and caught herself. She thought ofthe little boy in Senator Palpatine’s apartments all those years ago, with hisstrange and terrible eyes and the blood on his hands.

There was nothing she could say to this woman.

“Very troubling, this information is,” said Master Yodasoftly. “But deceit is the way of the Sith.”

Padmé tore her eyes from Shmi and Kitster Banai and turnedto stare at the Jedi. She hardly recognized the emotion that was roiling in hergut, but a laughing little voice in the back of her mind that sounded far toomuch like Anakin told her the Jedi wouldn’t like it.

Master Yoda was watching her closely with slow blinkingeyes, compassion gentling his aged face. The others appeared equally concerned,and equally removed. For the first time, Padmé realized that they might not betroubled for the same reasons she was, and the thought burned in her.

“And inattentiveness is the way of the Jedi, it seems,” shesnapped, too tired and far too horrified to hold her tongue. “If you’ll excuseme, Master Jedi, I need to make a report to the Senate. And this time, Anakin Skywalker will be morethan a footnote.”

She turned on her heel and stormed toward the door, ignoringthe words of the Jedi that followed her, ignoring the footsteps that indicatedObi-Wan, at least, intended to see her out.

But she stopped at the door, caught and held by someinvisible bond, and looked back.

Shmi and Kitster still stood in the center of the Councilchamber, looking small and alone in that immense space, their frail figureshaloed in the midafternoon light streaming through the many windows. Shmi wasshaking still, but Kitster had turned to watch Padmé, and his eyes met hersnow, dark and knowing.

If Anakin had been a footnote, these two had been utterlyforgotten. She was not about to make the same mistake.

“I would like to speak with you both,” she said, holdingKitster’s eyes and willing him to understand. “If you’re free?”

“This audience hasn’t ended, Senator,” said Mace Windusharply, but Kitster was already nodding.

“I think it has,” he said, speaking over his shoulder to themembers of the Jedi Council. “Come on, Mom. We won’t learn anything else here.”

“Padmé,” said Dooku, almost apologetically, but Padmé turnedaway from him and all the Jedi and marched out the door, Sabé falling in besideher and Kitster and Shmi following. Obi-Wan would follow too, she had no doubt,but she would deal with him later.

The corridor outside the Council chambers was deserted butfor a young Togruta girl who stood huddled into herself under her traditionalJedi robes. Padmé’s gaze lit on her briefly, and the girl looked away,something flashing in her eyes.

“Ahsoka,” she heard Obi-Wan say behind her, “you shouldn’t behere.”

If he was distracted, all the better. Padmé spared a silentthanks to the young padawan, and sped on down the corridor, wanting to lose herJedi escort. It was probably hopeless, but even a few moments might allow herto collect herself.

“Thank you,” said a quiet voice at her side, and Padméturned without slowing to find Kitster Banai walking beside her. To his right,Shmi Skywalker watched her with raw, reddened eyes.

“It’s Senator Amidala, isn’t it?” Kitster asked, smilingpolitely. But there was something guarded behind his gaze.

“Yes,” Padmé said, offering a warm smile of her own. “Andyou’re Kitster Banai. I saw you in TheTragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise.” She hesitated. But after all, howcould it hurt? “Anakin loved that play, you know.”

His eyes widened and his smile warmed. “Oh,” he murmured. “I– yes. I’d forgotten he saw it.” But then his face twisted, the smile becominga rictus grin. “I didn’t recognize him. My own brother, and I didn’t – ” Hechoked, and stopped.

Padmé had no idea what to say to him, or to the woman besidehim with her carven face and her shadowed eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said inanely,and then, “The hangar is this way.” It was utterly inadequate, but whateverelse she might have said, she couldn’t say it here.

Shmi seemed to understand. She nodded at Padmé, and now itwas she who took Kitster’s arm. They made their way to the hangar in absolutesilence. Even when Obi-Wan joined them once more, he said nothing, and Padméwas grateful.

#replies #anon #i write things #star wars #anabasis #because this is from an early-ish chapter it's a little rough #and may change a bit when i post the final version #in other news can you imagine yoda giving testimony to the senate #i bet he'd sound like jeff sessions played backwards #'recall that i do not'#is his answer to everything #padme amidala #shmi skywalker #kitster banai #harm to children #slavery #anabasis spoilers

245 notes · View notes