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#and yeah the reseting magic of the house also causes memory loss
bunnieswithknives · 1 year
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For the Hostage Rowan au, how do the resets affect humans? Cause there’s a lot more stuff that can make you forget things then just Soul Rot, and magic probably makes that list longer. Cause I’m imagining the longer he stays, the more his mind tries to adjust by also trying to reset(unhealthy coping mechanism or maybe in this scenario it would be the most healthy option). Like have you ever not been able to fully trust your own memory? That’s what I’m thinking happens except a little more extreme, and he doesn’t notice that until he realizes that he almost forgot his own name and had begun calling himself the name that the others had called him(I’d like to say Red but he’s no longer wearing anything prominently red, maybe David forgot his name was Rowan like that one HC just kept calling him that or they call him that because of his hair and “We can’t just call you Colorful Guy, that’s that crayon guy”(Creative Brendon)). 
Knowing something is happening and knowing how to stop it are two different things. He can’t write anything down permanently and even if he could, what if he already forgot something, his sisters, his age, his parents, how could he trust himself to remember that when he almost forgot his own name. I imagine it like that one Spider David scene where he’s like “oh ok” and the next “wait a second!/Stop that!” except instead of just yelling at David he’s also yelling at himself for forgetting, and it just keeps happening, no matter what he does. Cause he can keep reminding himself of facts but he can never get rid of the doubt that he’s forgetting something (example: “My name is Rowan; I have two sisters, Samantha and Sophie- wait do I have two sisters? What if it’s three?! Do I have another sibling!? Do I have a brother!? Did I forget someone! What if that’s not their names! What if that’s not my name-wait no it is, my name is Rowan! Or is it? Dammit David!”), your mind can be your best ally or your worst enemy, and unfortunately for Rowan, it doesn’t seem to want to work with him. And when Red and the puppets do escape like in the au post-canon, he might be very disoriented and never really fully trust himself with that without someone(probably Sammy) constantly reminding and affirming him of things and therapy, lots and lots of therapy.
(Sorry I saw the question + AU and couldn’t stop thinking about it, sorry for the rambling) -J
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One of the main differences between director Red and hostage Red is how they're integrated into the house. Director Red is kept an outside observer for the most part, while hostage Red is directly living with the puppets. At first, it would be a lot of crying and breakdowns, but after a while, I think he straight up forgets he didn't always live there. He still wants to see his family again, but it becomes a lot less urgent, and he talking about them like he's just forgotten to reach out in a while, though he will occasionally make omnious mentions wishing he could see them.
When they do eventually get him home, he's still convinced the whole thing is a lesson, which he plays along with for a while, until he finally just breaks down and begs for them to stop pretending to be his family. He's so convinced that it's fake and going to be ripped away from him at any second that he just wants to get it over with.
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moonah-rose · 3 years
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First Strike
One last mini-fic before it’s back to work for me. Inspired by something @cecret-with-c said months ago about if Chris revealing himself had been more intense. It’s been a while since I wrote some whump as well.
What if Chris had done more than punch Eleanor in the face? (Sort of a sequel to Let Me In).
Once again, Michael is grateful that he was given a human suit with such long legs to help him sprint in such far strides. He’s had to do more running than he ever expected to do in the past couple of years and the only time he was ever ‘caught’ was when he willingly gave himself up, not that he counts that time as a loss.
He races across the town, ignoring the heads of the Janet babies who turn in his direction out of vague, programmed curiosity, making his way towards the most dull-looking beige bungalow on the corner. It’s the house of the grandmother no kid ever wanted to visit because all she did was sit in her armchair and forbid laughter while she ranted about the noisy ‘illegals’ living next door.
The door is closed. From the outside, there’s no obvious sign of distress. 
And of course, every resident’s home is made to be sound-proof in the interest of privacy (a feature Tahani pushed on when Janet revealed the ‘surveillance’ feature of Michael’s previous experiment. They weren’t happy about that). It explains why the others are all going about town as normal despite being close enough to hear any sort of ruckus.
He braces himself before rushing forward, finding the door unlocked as he turns the handle.
“Eleanor?” He calls, immediately. 
What awaits him inside is as bad as he predicted, furniture turned aside, a few smashed vases and torn, hideous flowery wallpaper. But at least nothing is on fire. Michael feels that’s always a plus to be counted in most situations.
He stumbles in, almost tripping over the leg of an upturned side-table. 
“Shirt...Eleanor?!” Michael tries again, looking down the hall, the house seeming like a small bull just charged through the place.
“I’m here.”
He follows the dejected voice to the living room, finding her sat on the one half that remains of broken sofa. The tiny bit of relief he feels at first to see her in once piece shatters when she raises her head up from her hands.
An uneven pattern of swollen bruises decorate her face, tearful eyes shining between the puffy lids, blood still dripping from a cut on her lip and to the side of her left eyebrow. There’s marks on her throat, her hands and where her jacket has been torn on her arm as well.
One would think Michael had seen enough beaten up humans in his existence for it to no longer affect him, but the sight of Eleanor in this state cuts deep.
“Shirt...”
She braves the smallest smile; “You should see the other guy.” She then winces, possibly regretting speaking.
“Linda?!” He still can’t believe it. It doesn’t make sense!
He’d been leaving his office to head over to Tahani’s when he’d bumped into a furious Janet, frog-marching a pissed off looking Linda in her grip. Before Michael could ask what the fork she was doing, Janet simply ordered him to get over to Linda’s house, for no other reason than ‘Eleanor is there’. He didn’t need more than that.
It was only after he’d left he smelled the blood on Linda’s hands. Eleanor’s blood. The same that is sprinkled around the room in its destruction and still leaking from her fresh wounds.
“Turns out Linda’s not as boring as we thought.” Eleanor scoffs, raising one of her blackened hands and cringing in further pain; “Fork...”
He puts aside the issue of Linda for a moment as he goes to kneel in front of her.
“Here...” He gently takes her wrists, cradling what looks to be an almost crushed set of fingers, delicately; “It’s okay...”
He snaps his fingers.
Eleanor hisses again, in discomfort more than pain this time, as the bones reset and fuse, her cuts seal up and the bruising settles down, hopefully taking the pain away with it. She lets out a deep sigh, now simply looking pained with exhaustion. 
“Thanks, bud...” 
He stays kneeling before her, eyes full of concern.
“What happened?” He asks, carefully; “Why didn’t Janet do that?”
Eleanor shakes her head, “Y’know what? It’s crazy. I don’t even remember...I just came here, wanting to try again with Linda, see if I could have a talk and understand her...For a few minutes she was just quiet, sitting and sucking on her mints while I did all the talking...And then out of nowhere...she got up and...”
She clenches her fingers on her lap, clenching her jaw to the point Michael hears her teeth grind.
“Take your time.” He tells her; “What did she do?”
“Not she...He.” Eleanor smirks again, annoyed; “Suddenly Linda was speaking in a guy’s voice...Calling me an annoying little bench, raging at me about how he got so sick of having to ‘play nice’ around me, and put up with me, when all he wanted to do whenever I opened my mouth was...Well. You saw for yourself.”
Michael takes a breath. He saw the result. He dreads to imagine what actions the clearly-not-human took to leave Eleanor looking like that.
“I just kinda blacked out, I guess. At first it was almost funny...this little old woman picking her chair up and throwing it at the radio, that was kinda neat. Then he started throwing things at me and I wasn’t ready to get out the way. And then, when I tried to call for Janet...his hands were on me and...” 
It might be more terrifying than the scene he walked in on, to see Eleanor Shellstrop this shaken and struggling to form a sentence. 
He flips the coffee table back upright and slides it close so he can sit and take Eleanor’s healed hands in his. He cages them safely in his own, rubbing them warm.
She laughs again, tears spilling; “Fork, Michael....I dunno what’s wrong with me!”
“You just took ten rounds from a demon, no one is going to judge you for not being yourself.” At least, that’s what he’s assuming. If Linda isn’t a human then angel is also very improbable, which leaves one last option. 
“I’ve dealt with ashholes on Earth trying to cup a feel when I wasn’t interested and I had no trouble handling myself or knowing how to get help. But this...” She trembles in his grip; “I was so....frozen. Like I couldn’t do anything! It was only when I thought he was gonna throw me through the window, I managed to call for Janet. She did offer to fix...” Eleanor gestures to her face; “But I just told her to get that motherforker out and somewhere secure...And I asked for you.”
She...wanted him? That causes a selfish little ball of light to glow inside of him, that he was the first one she wanted, out of the others. 
Then he reminds himself that he’s the only one out of them with magic to heal.
“You said this guy talked about having to put up with you before?”
She nods; “Yeah, I can’t remember if he was in those memories I saw...He might have been at that bar in Canada, I don’t remember. Might be the concussion.”
“Ah...I think I know who Linda might be underneath. I...put you with a lot of demons who posed as your fake soul mate and...one of them kept coming to me with a lot of complaints by the end because he was sick of it. It was only because he had the most handsome skin suit out of them all, he claimed I was being objectifying.” Michael waves off that bit; “His name was Chris.”
If he was working for Shawn to infiltrate them, posing as one of the humans, did he agree to it purely for the chance to finally get to physically hurt Eleanor like he always begged Michael permission for? He feels sick at the idea that he contributed to this in a way. 
“Well I’m glad Chrissy got it out of his system, now I know how guys really feel after having to put up with me.” Eleanor lightly jokes.
“No guy who’s been close to you would ever dream of hurting you like this.” He says that, earnestly.
Even before he changed sides, no matter how crazy Eleanor drove him, no matter how often she foiled his designs, he never wished physical hurt on her. Just to make her miserable by pranks and mind games. Nothing like this.
This was the last thing he ever wanted.
“I’m so sorry, Eleanor.” He brings one of her hands to his lips, “This is my fault.”
“No it’s not, dude.” She says, tired; “I should’ve waited for you to be done at Tahani’s before we checked on Linda...We agreed to do these things together...”
Damn, will he and Janet have to chaperone all the humans now until this is over, in case something else threatens them?
“I’m just pissed that we didn’t see through Linda’s whole boring schtick. Tahani even said something was up with her but I ignored it.” She groans and rubs her head.
“Does it still hurt?” Michael frowns. It shouldn’t do, if he did it right.
Eleanor shakes her head; “No...Not from the fight, just...all of this. I was so sure I could handle it but this...I wasn’t ready for...”
“Blame me. You wouldn’t be in this position if I hadn’t had that break down at the start.” Michael tells her, feeling twisted with guilt.
“You didn’t make me choose to take this on, Michael. Stop it. None of this is on you...I’m just glad you’re here now.”
“Of course.” He gets to his feet and offers her his hand; “C’mon. I think we better call Shawn and tell him we’ve got something of his. And the Judge too while we’re at it.”
Eleanor looks up at him and gives a smile, then a nod, before taking his hand and standing up.
They’re half-way to the door when there’s a sudden tug on his hand.
Michael turns, frowning, seeing Eleanor standing motionless behind him. Her fingers are gripping his with such ferocity, his fingers would probably crunch if he was human, while her shoulders tremble, the smallest wince of panic on her face.
“What is it?” 
Her bottom lip wobbles, her eyes on the ajar pink door; “I...I dunno, I just...I d-don’t wanna go there yet.”
“Eleanor, he’s restrained. Janet’s way stronger than any demon, remember? And I wouldn’t let him touch you agai-.”
“I know that, dude, all right?!” She raises her volume, frustrated; “I don’t need your forking rational argument - I know that he’s all chained up and I’m safe and, whatever, because I’m a sexy badash who doesn’t get scared of anything so, fork you, this isn’t because I’m scared because I’m not! I’m fine! You’re the one who’s scared, I’m just protecting you, got it?! So lay the fork-.”
Once Michael has pulled her into his arms, she shuts up. It’s hard for her to keep babbling once her face is smothered into his chest. He waits for the resistance, to be shoved back, but nothing comes. Instead she stills, before her knees buckle, and her arms slip around his middle to cling to him. He places one hand on her neck and the other on the top of her head, stroking gently.
He just holds her tight for a moment, closing his eyes to stop his senses from seeing all the clear signs in the mess around them of what that deckhead did to her. How there’s a dent on the wall from where she was clearly thrown, or how that particular drop of blood stained on the carpet must have come from a blow to her mouth.
“Michael...Bit too tight, bud, you just fixed these ribs...” Eleanor sniffs against him.
“Sorry, sorry.” He loosens a little, still keeping her close, for as long as she clings to him. He pulls back after another minute to touch her face, searching for those green-blue eyes; “Listen. I know you, remember? No one’s aware of what a badash bench you are more than me, okay? But I also know you’re still human...And humans break, that’s what you guys do, it’s what makes you so amazing. That you can be so spunky even when you’re so stupidly fragile.”
And the more vulnerable they are, such as the small woman in his arms, the more courage they seem to hold to compensate. 
“I know how often you’ve wanted to break down when things got tough but you always had to put up a front to save face. You don’t have to do that with me, remember?” He whispers, softly, his thumb brushing a tear from her face; “You were there for me when I collapsed like a Tahani being told she has to fly economy. You trust me to be still be there for you if you do the same right?”
She sniffs again, nodding.
“It’s not just you, bud. God can’t be seen weeping, can she?” She japes.
With a wave of his hand, the blinds close and the door shuts.
“God can have some privacy. You’ve earned it.” Michael smiles at her and brings her back in again, letting her curl into him, one of her hands grabbing at his jacket; “Take as long as you need. I’m sure Janet can have fun with Chris while he waits for us. Make him sweat. We’ll go when you’re ready.”
Perhaps he’ll ask Janet to have some ‘time alone’ in a quiet room with Chris, even after they’ve called Shawn and the Judge. He might not be Chris’ boss anymore but he still feels the need to offer some ‘managerial feedback’. Which is a euphemism, by the way, he plans on eviscerating the forknut.
He hears the smallest hum.
“Thanks, bud. I dunno what I’d do without you.” Eleanor whispers, still shaky, clinging onto him; “We should’ve known they’d be too dumb to use something like a Michael-suit and instead they pull a stunt like this that gives them away. Forking idiots.”
He chuckles with her, resting his cheek on her head as he keeps her close.
“They’re no match for us. Say it with me...We’ve got this.”
“That’s my line.”
“Our line.” He jostles her a little, delighted by the sound of her laughter, more so when she smiles up at him, that fire slowly starting to ignite in her eyes again. 
Michael moves a strand of her hair away before planting a kiss on her forehead. Only fair, as she kissed his cheek last time, and it had felt...oddly pleasant. 
She sighs, “Fine. We’ve got this.”
He looks down at her, feeling ready to burst with admiration. There she is. Eleanor Shellstrop. Holding it together after taking a pummelling from an immortal being. 
Unstoppable, as always. 
Better luck next time, Shawn, old pal. But try to lay a finger his humans again and there will be Here to pay.
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