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mediocre--writing · 4 years

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Love Is A Slap In The Face

Ashton Irwin X fem!Reader

Summary: Through the ups, downs, and all inbetween, those you love will be there to keep you on your feet and make sure you smile through the tears.

Word Count: 2175

Warnings: Mentions of PTSD, death, and panic attacks

Inspired by this fic (which is absolutely amazing): Walking After You by my-wldflwr

Love isn’t intimate moments.

Love is when you smile at someone you love across a crowded room and they smile back.

Love is when you do the most mundane tasks, like dishes or dusting, and have fun doing them because you’re doing them with someone you love.

Love is how you look at the person you love when they’re completely in their element, doing what they’ve always wanted.

Love is the way someone takes care of you in your lowest moments.

For Y/n, love is Ashton Irwin.

The way his face scrunches up when he gets really into playing the drums and the way he doesn’t have confidence in his voice yet it sounds like angels singing.

They way he always finds a way to touch her, whether it be his hand on her hand or waist, the way he throws an arm around Y/n’s shoulders or picks her up and throws her over his shoulder.

The way he works out with her and pretends he can keep up but secretly stops doing push-ups when they're not looking, but he still just stares and admires their strength.

The way he jokingly yells at her for forgetting to wash your fruits and vegetables before eating them, even though she knows he really is annoyed about it.

The way she dances around the kitchen to his own songs and plays the air drums with insane aggression.

It’s the moments that they think about right before they fall asleep in that person’s arms at the end of the night.

After their dinner where Ashton made a salad and some delicious potato side dish that Y/n ate most of and Y/n made a roast chicken, they watched a movie or two, but they were both dozing off during the second one so they decided to just go to bed.

They had a fast love. They met one another almost a year ago and started dating only two or three months after, but were attached at the hip almost instantly, though they were both working frequently, so they didn’t get many sleepovers together, and most of the time they were at Y/n’s house, just because she was usually the one who had to be up early for work.

As they got situated in the bed, Y/n had burrowed herself in the light sheets and comforter, only her head poking out as she smiled brightly at Ashton, who was staring at her as he took his shirt off and crawled into bed with the beautiful woman in his bed.

Y/n nestled closely, putting her head on his chest and fell asleep quickly to the beating of his heart.

Ashton didn’t fall asleep as quick, but he just admired the way her chest rose and fell peacefully and her nose would twitch every once and a while.

He put his hand underneath her (his) shirt and rubbed her back, just memorizing the feel of it. The way her spine poked out in a few places, the little indents around her shoulders that held the defined muscle she had built up over the years of being in the military and years after.

He felt the little nicks and creases that were healed scars that she’d accumulated through the years. He felt the little hairs that were everywhere and he felt the goosebumps that poked up as she shuttered.

He moved his hand away and situated himself better for sleep and Y/n rolled away from him to her other side, only taking the sheet with her as she moved.

Ashton chuckled and pulled the comforter over her again and fell asleep to the dark room, cicadas chirping, and her light breathing.

The night was unusually restless for Y/n, she didn’t feel comfortable despite the room being just cold enough that you could cuddle with the blankets and the night felt more quiet than it should have been.

It wasn’t until about half past three that Ashton woke up to the bed jostling around randomly, the sheets and comforter pulled off of him, exposing him to the cool night air.

Slowly, he woke up, rubbing his eyes and turning to look at Y/n, who was rolling back and forth sporadically, her left arm pulling at the thin sheets around her.

The closer that Ashton looked, the more concerned he became, her forehead was sweaty and her cheeks had small, reflective watermarks that were the result of tears rolling down her cheeks.

He put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed back and forth as he whispered her name over and over, trying to pry her out of her dreaming, but it just riled her up more, her left shoulder harshly nudging him off, but with some restraint.

It was then he realized that her arm was wrapped up in the sheet and she couldn’t get it out, so he sat up more and pulled the blankets from around her arm, which was increasingly hard due to her moving violently.

He eventually got most of the sheet away and she could get out, but he didn’t know that and was still trying to move the sheet off her, but her violent arm jerk wasn’t restrained by the blanket anymore, which meant that her arm launched her hand right into Ashton’s face.

He let out a loud yelp and grabbed the side of his face as he sat up.

Y/n, however, stopped moving as much as she woke up due to the loud yelp and a slight stinging in her hand and shoulder.

When she finally opened her eyes and adjusted to the lack of light in the room, along with the blurriness that came with tears in her eyes, she was confused by the view of Ashton clutching one side of his face and staring at her with pity in his eyes.

She was still breathing heavily and Ashton moved his hand from his face, opening his arms for her to fall into, which she did, willingly.

As she crashed into his chest and arms, she let out a pitiful sob and Ashton began rubbing his hand up and down her back while making a soothing shushing sound while letting her cry it out.

Their relationship with one another was very much open, but they still had their own little things that the other hadn’t dealt with yet.

For Ashton, he hadn’t told her about his family or childhood much, but for Y/n she had outright refused to talk about her time in the military and absolutely would not let him see her cry like this.

Though it wasn’t an ideal situation, he almost felt privileged to see her in such a vulnerable state such as this, the side of her that she liked to hide from anyone and everyone, no matter how close they were.

As her sobs quieted down and her breathing became more even, Ashton pulled her away from the safety of his chest and put a hand under her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes, asking a question with his eyes.

“It’s ok,” she mumbled as she moved her eyes away from his.

He gave her a look that said she was absolutely insane, “No,”

“My arm got caught in the sheet and I couldn’t get it out,” She shook her head as if trying to erase whatever thought her head had come up with, “That’s all, it’s ok.”

“There’s more,” Ashton told her sternly, “And I know that you don’t like talking about your unpleasant feelings but I want you to actually open up to me and know that nothing is going to change if you tell me anything about yourself, of anything, I’ll just love you more, you know that,”

“I do, I know that,” Y/n swallowed and blinked a few times before looking into Ash’s eyes, her own widening, “Did I hit you?”

Ashton’s face screwed up in confusion before registering the light pain he felt around his eye and cheek, bringing up a finger to trace along where it hurt.

Y/n’s eyes were locked on the pinkish-purple bruise forming on his face as tears welled up more and more as she stared.

“Honey, please don’t worry about it, ok?” Ashton reassured but it did nothing to ease the tension lines on her face, “You were asleep and you didn’t mean to, it really wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know I put my face close to you.”

“But I still did it, Ash! I hit you! And apparently I hit you pretty damn hard!” Y/n was yelling, and Ash felt scared, not for himself but how awful she must feel, because this was Y/n, his little baby who could bench press an almost obscene weight but also pouts when he doesn’t cuddle her at any given moment.

“Honey, can you calm down for a moment, it doesn’t really hurt and I can live with a little bruise, but I’m worried about you right now.”

She still looked guilty but she nodded in agreement, “I was having a nightmare, but like-- not a nightmare? Like it was almost real and kinda reminded me of a moment but was still exaggerated and fake? I can’t explain how it felt, but I was scared.

“So, uh, a while ago, you know, I was in the military,” Ashton nodded, “We were walking through these mountains, and were told that we had to watch our steps because there were landmines we had to be really cautious of, and we were almost out of the landmine zone when the guy at the front of the group tripped backwards and triggered one of them.

“Two guys died and a few people lost a limb or two, but I was at the back of the group, and we didn’t get too much other than being thrown back and concussions here and there, but it was terrifying because the sound came before impact.”

Y/n took a deep breath and rubbed at her face, “I wasn’t really hurt bad or anything, but a huge chunk of rock fell on my arm and it took three guys to get it off and, to be completely honest with you, I don’t really remember most of what happened to me, because I passed out and people told me what happened afterwards. They said they got my arm free and it was somehow temporarily paralyzed but I went through physical therapy to get it mostly functional again.

“I got a lot of scars from that and it was really annoying for a while but I like them now, mostly because I know had the rock shifted over any more it could have been my head, or I could have lost my arm, and I was really lucky, in complete honesty.”

Ashton was watching and listening with tears in his eyes as he gently grabbed onto her hands with his own.

“I was really stupid after that, I was released from service because I was injured and whatnot, and I was sent home and did physical therapy, but I refused to talk to my family or friends, then I moved out here because I was sick of everyone. I made new friends but it took me way too long to realize that I needed to go see someone and talk to someone to finally feel okay about what happened. I used the excuse of training my arm’s dexterity by working out but I was just hurting myself by pushing my body and not sleeping or eating and stuff, but it all got better over time.”

She looked deep into Ashton’s eyes, “I met you about a month after starting therapy and my therapist loved hearing me talk about you, she’s the person who pushed me to ask you out for the first time, actually.”

Even in the dim light from the window, Ashton’s sweet smile brightened the room as he leaned in and gave her a delicate kiss on her forehead, then her nose, then her lips, making her smile as well.

“What about your face?” Y/n giggled, “You can’t tell people I hit you, I feel like that would get out really quick.”

Ashton chuckled as he pulled her closer to his chest, them both sighing in content at their comfortable position, “I’ll tell people that I fought someone for you, how’s that?”

“Did you lose the fight?” Y/n teased.

“That’s fuckin’ rude,” Ashton sassed as they cuddled closer.

And there, in the 4am moonlight, their relationship changed forever.

They found more reasons to love one another, they found a new safety in one another, and they found the one person who could never disappoint them no matter what.

They found the person who had comfort embedded into their very being and had a home that neither could find anywhere else.

For them, love is special.

Love is when you can slap your boyfriend in the face and he’ll still love you.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #x reader #5sos x reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton x reader

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