#and they're just so clearly fake names and the tab might not be immediately paid rn but Jim and Ed and Izzy are Watching | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

izzy-b-hands · 1 year

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I'm imagining a fundraising brainstorming session post Reunion/Big Talks Completed/Etc Dramatic Things

Whole crew, assembled on the deck, where Stede admits yeah so the whole money always on tap bc I'm rich thing? No longer a thing. We do actually have to Do Pirate Stuff for money now

Cut to Buttons talking cryptically abt how he knows of a list of Secret Pirate Tasks that will really earn good money-

Lucius interrupts to note that he's ninety percent sure Buttons just means dick pics (aka below the waist sketches of various poses and things that Lucius makes, has each person autograph, then sells for ridiculous amounts at random ports. Everyone absolutely makes up fake names for their signature on these, and that's half the fun tbh)

Which no one is against, but Lucius' wrist will need rest now and again what with all the dicks and other body parts (and the sketching of them) so there's got to be something else to do in addition to that

That's where I can't decide if they just go hog wild trying and even succeeding in raiding every ship they run across, setting up some sort of additional gigs (Roach offers baked goods but only if everyone takes shifts helping bake bc he should not have to do all that work alone and he's right and he should say it, Wee John suggests setting up a booth wherever they stop to offer sewing/darning/etc fabric repairs, Fang mentions Ye Olde Hot Topics are always hiring so if they stay near a safeish port for a week or two they could make some extra that way, Black Pete could absolutely make bank whittling things like I myself would be in line for something from him, etc)

some combination of all the above which gives the delightful moments of

'oh god our ship is being raided by these two terrors and their crew and wait. Wait. The guy holding a cleaver to my neck rn definitely sold me an amazing layer cake two ports back; hey, before u kill me can I pay to have one sent to my family with a note that I'm dead? Yeah? Okay, cool, someone get a pen or just write this in my blood on the deck i guess-'

And Roach would agree to it. Lucius would take down the address and write up the receipt (and the oh god im so sorry im dying at sea and leaving my family alone note to go with the cake) and they'd all be dividing up loot at the end as well as logging random sales made during the raid aksjdjfngg

And somehow they're still barely breaking even and if it weren't for Ed's previously earned funds (he starts sneaking personal financial tips into his pillow talk with Stede each night, and at first Stede hates it but then he's Pavlov'd into getting hard whenever Ed discusses budgeting, and that does make such conversation much more enjoyable for him at least)

like. they wouldn't be wholly Fucked, but it would be a much more nervous situation and everyone is just boggled that Stede doesn't seem to Get that.

But he's eager for all the side gig ideas at least, and even helps (aka he does his best, he's trying to learn how to do the work available to them, even if it isn't always the most amazing result aksndjf)

I like to think he'd eventually realise he has stuff he can offer too, like, maybe he's got a decent hand for fixing the binding of books (bc he's never trusted anyone other than himself, Ed, and the crew with his books tbh, and that v much includes repairs to them.)

Just. Lil guy, sitting by Wee John who's got a sewing project in hand that'll be picked up by end of day, and the same customer left one old much loved book with Stede to be fixed and it's his first customer and he Will Not Fuck This Up

and Frenchie and John are desperate not to giggle (with love) over how nervous he is as they chill beside him and sew away bc like

he's actively sweating with worry but his hands are moving and fixing and reglueing and whatnot with him barely even having to think abt it bc he's so used to doing this particular thing

He doesn't need to worry so much abt this particular thing! Their entire financial situation, yes, but this particular task he actually has some mastery over and everyone wants to see him acknowledge it!!! Not just for his self esteem but bc then he'll promo himself more and hopefully make more fucking money aksndkfng

#text post #long post #they start putting bar tabs under those fake sketch names too aknskdnfjf #and they're just so clearly fake names and the tab might not be immediately paid rn but Jim and Ed and Izzy are Watching #as Stede cheerfully opens the tab for everyone and no bartender is dumb enough to say no to him at that point aksndkfn

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