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#and then i was thinking about this more and another sucky ripple effect is that if my brother ever gets married
meiffel-tower · 1 year
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(tw suicide)
so like one of the things that suck and just becomes Part of Your Life when you lose a parent (and/or maybe even just an immediate family member in general) to suicide that I even forget about sometimes is that that's part of MY medical history now. like I went to the gynecologist for the first time here and since I'm a new patient she was asking about the health conditions of my parents and grandparents and in my head i'm like ok yeah my material grandma died of a heart attack and my dad has high cholesterol and blood pressure.... oh yeah I guess I should mention my mom died by suicide that's probably relevant to an assessment of my health I guess and then its like oh great now i gotta bum out a stranger
anyways consider this your reminder that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and the people who love you can and will still feel the effects of losing you 18 years later and for the rest of their lives
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yourstreetserenade · 6 months
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Sometimes I have fanfic ideas that I know could potentially be really hilarious and fun but I know I'll absolutely never get around to writing them.
My latest idea is Groundhog's Day-esque take on Valentine's Day from season 4. Let's say at the end of 'I Do' Brittany finds out that Santana and Quinn slept together which triggers tears and heartache and Brittany going home and wishing somehow, some way she could do things over again until she gets Santana back. I don't know, insert some magical wish scenerio, and bam, Brittany wakes up the next day, only it's not really the next day. It's Valentine's Day again. A do-over.
Brittany realizes what's happening and thinks maybe this is a sign from the universe. She's meant to win Santana's heart back (and thus, stop Quinntana from hooking up at the end of the night) only that's easier said than done. She has to relive Valentine's Day over and over and over again because each time she changes something or has a different interaction with a friend a domino effect occurs. Each time she relives the day over again she and Santana have some meaningful and charged interactions at the wedding but for one reason or another, Brittany is unable to change the outcome. Either she misses something or Santana misses something, or there's some miscommunication somewhere and Santana ends up walking into that hotel room with Quinn at the end of the night.
Let's say it goes on for like, a week. Brittany is forced to relive the Valentine's Day wedding/reception for an entire week. It starts off kind of amusing seeing how small actions cause ripple effects among her friends but as the days go on her frustration grows because ''oh my god, maybe the universe wants me to be miserable and I'm doomed to live this sucky day for all of eternity watching the girl I love end up with someone else at the end of the night.''
Maybe at the end of the neverending week Brittany finds herself alone at the hotel bar having a drink alone. She looks at the clock and she knows the timeline by now, she knows exactly where Santana is. She's sad about it but on this night, she's sorta resigned. Except after awhile someone joins her at the mostly deserted bar. Santana. She doesn't say where she just came from and Brittany doesn't ask because she doesn't want to hear how she just came from Quinn's.
They have a drink together though and fall back into who they are: BrittanyandSantana. They laugh and they talk, about the wedding, about love and about fate. If Will and Emma are meant to be together, they'll figure it out, you can't fight the universe stuff. Brittany asks ''what if the universe wants me to be miserable?'' and Santana shakes her head. Santana once said that Brittany ''was everything good in this miserable stinking world'' but what she really meant was that she's everything good in this miserable stinking universe. The universe wouldn't do that to Brittany.
Then, sort of paraphrasing their convo at the end of S2 Brittany asks ''what about you and I?'' to which Santana pretty much quotes Brittany ''all I know about you and I is that I love you, I love you more than anyone in this world, and because of that I think anything is possible.''
Maybe Brittany even laughs a sad little laugh. ''What if I told you I've been reliving the same day over and over again trying to win you back?''
Santana smiles and replies. ''I think you've had one too many drinks, Britt.''
Maybe Santana walks her home thinking Brittany is tipsy. Brittany doesn't protest because she enjoys the company. It's crisp and frosty so they're both adorably bundled up. At Brittany's door Santana says good night and goodbye. It's sweet and chaste but romantic. Like a couple of awkward kids dancing around their crushes. Before they part though Brittany tells her "just so you know, I'd do it. I'd live day after day trying to get you back. I'll never stop chasing after this with you."
Brittany goes inside and doesn't wait for a reply. She doesn't need one. This one night with Santana has reignited her determination. She'll relive this day for as long as she has to. She'd chase Santana for a thousand years if she has to.
Santana stands alone under the stars and has her own magical moment. Wanting to make her own deal with the universe. She got things wrong when she broke up with Brittany. Ever since then it's like the planets have been out of alignment since she let her go. She makes a wish to get Brittany back.
Flashforward to the next day. Valentine's Day yet again. Brittany wakes up and goes through the motions she's been going through for the past week. Breaks up with Sam. Diverts Puck away from Kitty. But also makes time for a goofy dance break with Mike. But something's different. This time during We've Got Tonight, Santana taps Mike on the shoulder and asks if she can cut in. Mike happily obliges.
Brittany is surprised. In all of the loops this has never happened before. Is this happening? Is this really it? They slow dance. It's beautiful and sweeping and WE CUT TO Santana and Brittany dancing and singing through the hallways until they reach Santana's hotel door. She opens the door for Brittany, takes her hand and together they walk in.
The next morning Brittany stretches and opens her eyes to find herself in the hotel room. She jumps up, shocked. This isn't part of the loop. This is new. The night before didn't just happen, it took. She spent the night with Santana and got to wake up in her arms in an entirely new day. Out of joy she does a goofy little celebration dance. Santana laughs "I was that good huh?" and Brittany is like "yes but you don't get it. I've been reliving the same day over and over trying to get you and me back on track. I lived that Valentine's Day wedding seven times. Us waking up together means I did it, we did it, we made things right with the universe."
Brittany isn't really clear on the how of it all and Santana doesn't understand anything but it's painted out for the reader to decipher that it was the Santana from the previous loop that made a wish that night and sent it up into the universe. In order for them to get back on track it couldn't just be because of Brittany's wish (which is why she was in limbo on a loop), Santana also had to wish for the same thing. Once they had both wished for the same thing the universe allowed time to move forward again. Brittany remembers all of the previous loops, Santana does not.
They lay there happy and in love and knowing where ever the universe takes them next they'll go there together. Brittany really knew what she was talking about when she once said "anything is possible" she literally hit pause on time until she and Santana came to their senses and found their way back to each. And end!
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