#and then got fucking. CANCELLED. after they made the second season with the belief that the next 3 seasons had been greenlit so there was
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Not to be dramatic but I really think I’m going to live the rest of my life pretending that last twilight ended on ep 9 like will I watch the finale? Obviously but I’m going to think of it as basically fanfiction. These plot twists they keep throwing in during the last couple minutes of each episode are really pissing me off and they’re only doing them to facilitate character development but I just don’t like the choices they’ve made!! They brought in the eye donation plot to develop day’s mom and that’s literally all it took?? Day has surgery and before we even know if it works suddenly she’s ok with mhok and supportive of her blind son like that seemed too easy. There was no real internal struggle for her it just sort of happened instantly and that’s not realistic not to fucking mention how absolutely cruel it is to give day the hope of being able to see again and taking that from him AGAIN (this is also what happened with August but I’m done talking about him- that is, the instantaneous unprompted character development). And if that didn’t piss me off bad enough, now we have a mhokday BREAKUP and separation for an unknown amount of time that is likely to be YEARS given day is going to graduate and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t that close to doing so before he went blind like whyyyyyyyyy are we doing this!!!! Like I get the trope of separation for individual growth but don’t any of u think you can grow individually while being in a relationship and doing so while ALSO growing as a couple is so much more appealing??? Even if they wanted to go the separation route they didn’t have to fucking break up 😭😭😭 I GET why day felt pitied (and I also get why mhok lied) and I GET that that is the most offensive thing ever to him but to me breaking up seemed like kind of a rash decision and I know that’s not THAT out of character for him but I kinda thought he had grown out of that SOMEWHAT and would be more willing at this point to like. have a conversation and work it out. They really had 1 (one) breakdown of communication and that was all it took for day to give up????? Like I know he was a self-proclaimed asshole from the beginning but I kinda thought he had matured a little bit over the last at least 9 months idk maybe that’s just me….. I really thought day was better than this (insert we were all rooting for u gif) also everyone (pretty much all of us) who wanted some sweet sweet mhok development by way of reciprocal support from day, well. Tough shit I guess. Doesn’t look like that’s happening, unless they speedrun their separation period and they’re back together by ep 12 2/4. anyway. there was literally absolutely nothing they could do to ever top ep 9 4/4, I just didn’t think they’d lose the plot quite like this 😔😔
#tbh I really don’t think there’s any ending that could turn this breakup around for me and that’s so fucking disappointing#but my most favorite tv show ever completely fell the fuck off in its highly anticipated long awaited second season#and then got fucking. CANCELLED. after they made the second season with the belief that the next 3 seasons had been greenlit so there was#absolutely no closure. and I’m not taking shit for granted but I do believe at least we will get SOME closure with ep 12 so what can u do!!!#the past 2 episodes have just been the it’s so over we’re so back graph but I really think it’s so over for real this time#and I’m like. at peace with it bc the first 9 episodes were breathtaking showstopping etc. and that’s good enough#last twilight#if they pull the ultimate uno reverse tho I’ll delete my whole fucking blog and be really happy about it
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bruv im still jus. wow. theres so much to say but. do u kno how good it feels... to be jewish, to accidentally fixate on one eric cartman & love him more than any other fictional character for almost seven years now, and then to see him in a little yarmulke, standing at kyle's side while he recites from the torah? do you know how validating that is?
i gotta get personal for a second here. idk how, but in the last few yrs my relationship with my own jewishness has been deeply influenced and intertwined with south park, as ironic and ridiculous as that sounds. i grew up secular, completely nonpracticing; as a child, i was only ethnically jewish, and saw jews as strictly an ethnicity, and a popularly hated one to boot. and it scared me. ive talked about it before, but as a child hearing about the shoah and about antisemitism, i couldn't understand. i thought it was looks for a while, which confused me, because ive got blonde hair and blue eyes and all my family that got caught up in nazi europe did/do too. i remember thinking as a second grader that i would've been spared for that reason; why didn't a good chunk of my family? but i grew up in a mormon neighborhood, with plenty of other blonde kids, and they stayed away from me like i had a disease. this was before puberty, before my hair got a little frizzier and my nose got a little bigger, when i looked just like any of them. but already, at age 8, i was an outsider. i wasn't one of them and i never would be, and they wanted me to know that.
and then i started to get it. it clicked even more once i got to high school and got called a kike every other day - but prior to high school, you know what i found, and you know what really pushed me towards understanding what being a secular jew in america meant? south park. and as a dumb little sixth grader with no critical thinking skills, you know what shaped my opinions on my own people? south park.
and that's good and bad. good because i do sincerely think kyle broflovski is excellent fictional representation for jewish people, maybe one of the top few ever shown on television. he gets on my nerves at times, but he's good through and through, he's well written and multi-dimensional, he's not a walking stereotype but he still has prominent jewish features that jewish viewers can look at and see in themselves, his morals and viewpoints and beliefs are obviously deeply influenced by judaism, hes deeply proud of his heritage and culture... and that all means a lot to me. and by the amount of jewish sp fans that adore kyle, it means a lot to them too.
the bad thing is, yeah, i can't deny it, during older seasons, cartman's treatment of kyle probably taught a lot of young and dumb viewers how to view jews in real life. have i, as a kyman shipper and cartman stan, justified that within a fictional and narrative context? yes. but it doesn't change the real-world effect; south park, but specifically cartman, since he's the mouthpiece, likely did cause some easily-influenced people to pick up antisemitic beliefs. did this contribute to the rise of the alt-right? debatable, but to some extent, possibly. was that m&t's intention and should south park be canceled and denounced? fuck no, i'll always love it lol, and fuck censorship. but it is something that should be taken into account.
matt and trey clearly regret that, and understand that it's no longer acceptable or fitting or needed in today's sociopolitical climate - or, okay, maybe they don't even regret it; they just understand that when fiction becomes reality, the fictional jackass isn't necessary when there's one right there in real life, sitting in the oval office, yeah? old cartman doesn't deserve or need a voice, not when real, awful people actually have one right now. and m&t are actively trying to change cartman for the better and really, really backpedal on his bigotry, while still doing it in a way that makes sense from a story-telling perspective. it's not a complete uncharacteristic change of character; it's shifting with the times and writing it into the character's arc so that it's a logical and plausible development in cartman's story.
cartman's behavior in the last few seasons is consistent character development. m&t themselves are pushing it, and clearly it's sincere; cartman's not faking. unless they're building up a surprise twist over the last, what, three to four seasons, that he was faking the whole time! woah! if so it better be a damn good pay off, because that's a lot of time invested. though that seems more forward-thinking than sp tends to be. they're intentionally stuck in the short-term, aren't they? plot-wise. but their character development is pretty long-term, and right now, cartman is consistently decent, and if it comes across as faking, it's because cartman's over-dramatic in how he speaks, and trey does that intentionally.
that's a tonal thing, and it's hard to say in a fictional character, but as someone who struggles with empathy myself, empathy and sincerity don't go hand in hand. you can lack empathy while still caring enough to sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize for something and mean that apology. not feeling remorse doesn't mean you can't apologize genuinely; the two don't go hand in hand. you can be mentally ill in any capacity, even a psychopath, and still deeply care about things or people, just not in the way someone else might. so you can headcanon that cartman's still a psycho/sociopath, though right now that's actually kinda going against canon, but don't rain on other's parades if they're happy he's exhibiting healthy growth. besides, and i repeat: what could cartman exploit out of faking sincerity for several seasons? nothing, so why bother? he wouldn't, unless it's literal in-show subconscious growth.
does that mean he's magically developed empathy? no. is it becoming less probable he's a legitimate sociopath/psychopath (while still possibly having better-disguised antisocial tendencies)? yes. does he seem to have better coping or anger management skills? somehow, yes! he seems to be legitimately healthier. does this mean he's no longer accountable for his past misdeeds, and even his present, less-severe ones? of course not! and you can still hate him all you want, but modern cartman is not the same as older cartman, and shouldn't be treated as such. because is this growth? absolutely.
he's clearly healthier, even happier. he's less angry, he's still a little shit but he no longer relies on bigotry or cruelty or anger to get the negative attention he thrives off, rather he gravitates towards being simply annoying. you know why he called ice? pettiness, immaturity, a little bit of spite, and a need for silly revenge. he's being intentionally petty, but going about it in a sly but no longer psychopathic way. less hannibal lector and more, idk, regina george, lol. extremely different on the antagonist scale. and cartman's been both.
and maybe it's personal bias on what type of human is worse within fiction, someone unstable and bizarre with violent tendencies (which is how he's come to be viewed in pop culture & some of the fandom, as a result of eps like scott tenorman must die), versus someone inclined towards pettiness and more silent and, i dunno, social-status-and-pride-driven types of revenge (cartman in general when he's not being particularly awful, tbh)... but i think it'd be pretty universally agreed that the latter is at the very least more tolerable, manageable, and even likeable - and certainly more redeemable. let's put it this way; if cartman continued on the path he was on, he'd be one of those tiki holding fucks, wearing a confederate flag hat, and he'd treat kyle soooo much worse. instead, m&t have turned him into a hypocritical false-woke ignorant dumbass - but that's strongly less problematique than it's counterpart, and it works.
because cartman simply serves a different narrative purpose now. and that's not sloppy writing; it's well-timed evolution of a character that stepped into a pre-9/11, pre-trump, pre-social media world! so much has changed, and south park is reflecting that in its characters, most notably in a character who was stuck in the, what, 1960s with his beliefs? that was fine way back when, but matt&trey are smart dudes - they understand that sometimes things have to change. besides, they love cartman, too. he's their favorite. but they understand that when real people act like him, it's not so comedic or satirical or funny, & they don't want to look at cartman, at their creation who they've invested twenty-two years in, and see the all-too-real hate of modern radical white america.
i think we know enough about matt&trey's social stances these days, and the empathy they've seemed to develop after having kids, to understand that they're no longer in their "apathy is best, everyone is stupid" phase. current south park is left-leaning and admittedly preachy at times, but i wouldn't want it any other way. g-d knows it's better this way than if they'd embraced and decided to appeal to their right-libertarian following instead. cartman's evolved in a progressive and positive way, and it's fucking dope, especially to us cartman stans who so badly want him to be good. and he is good right! he's doing so good!
and i know im up my own ass rn but yall know how much i myself have campaigned for jewish kyman/cartman and how much i just deeply and truly adore it, and to see it actualized in a canon episode to some extent? that meant the world to me. i couldn't believe my eyes. i was tellin lai - that's the most genuine, pure, almost violent happiness ive felt in my soul in years. that was like a straight shot of serotonin to the heart. that simple little scene made me so fucken happy yall dont even know. & theres a lot to be said about the political commentary and plenty of other people are analyzing that, but im a simple jewish kyman & cartman stan and boy ive been fed good fjskfkdkdkfk!!!
#in other news#sickly jew shay had her vision white out at school today and almost fell down the stairs#my grandpa has been given a week to live#AND the anniversary of the most important person in my life's death is approaching#and i turn fucking 19 soon and i always have birthday crisises#so fucken superb!#in happier news family guy airs soon and it's unfortunately still a fixation of mine so im unjustly excited#lissen stewie's worn a yarmulke twice in fg canon and i cried then#i love cartman approximately... 50x more than stewie jus bc of longevity and. nostalgia and favoritism#i was in legitimate hysterics#sp continues to be my light at the end of the tunnel jfkskf#mine#txt#sp spoilers#theres so much here im sorry i ramble sm#i struggle w wordz and usin em ironically
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“Look there’s Holloway vs Edgar and you’re watching this so don’t even give me any of your shit” UFC 240 Preview
Joey
July 22nd, 2019
Every once in a while, about once a year or so, the UFC has a PPV that's utterly pointless. It's just a show on the schedule designed to make up for a cancelled show or just a PPV "make some money" cash grab. This card is a little bit column A, little bit column B and so there's really not much to say in the lead in. The UFC lost a show in January when they had a bunch of main events fall through and they needed to move Cejudo and Dillashaw to ESPN+. In response to that happening, the UFC wound up needing to fill a schedule slot and SO we get two July PPVs (we were originally going to get two October ones but they reconfigured the sched). To further complicate matters, they loaded up July (two title fights plus a crazy undercard) and loaded up August (DC/Stipe, Romero/Costa, Nate/Pettis, Heinisch/Brunson plus all sorts of goodies) so this PPV sandwiched in the middle got a whole bunch of nada. This is basically a three fight card and if we're being honest, it just might be a one fight card if you consider Neal/Price and Cyborg/Spencer pointless. The next three cards after this are all going to be pretty special in their own ways (DC/Stipe, Khabib/Dustin and Israel/Whittaker) so we're just here to kill some time at an unfair price point. This card is a collection of spent shell casings on the Old West that is MMA. The summer is basically the UFC's seasonal fuck up session; more people are willing to spend money in the summer but fighters don't like fighting and the schedule is so packed that you run the risk of just burning all your bullets. Barring something unforseen, this will be the worst PPV of the year but ya got Holloway/Edgar so I'll be there. OH and it's a Canadian card! Cursed!
Fights: 12
Debuts: Giacomo Lemos, Tanner Boser, Yoshinori Horie
Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 1 (Lauren Murphy vs Mara Romero CANCELLED)
Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 4 (Frankie Edgar, Max Holloway, Cyborg, Alexis Davis)
Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 2 (Alexis Davis,Erik Koch)
Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 3 (Geoff Neal, Hakeem Dawodu, Alejandre Pantoja)
Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 22-12
Frankie Edgar- 2-1
Max Holloway- 3-1
Cyborg- 3-1
Felicia Spencer- 1-0
Geoff Neal- 3-0
Niko Price- 4-2
Olivier Aubin-Mercier- 2-2
Arman Tsarukyan- 0-1
Marc Andre Berriault- 0-1
Kryztsof Jokto- 1-3
Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):
Featherweight- 3 (37)
Welterweight- 2 (41)
Women’s Flyweight- 2 (21)
Middleweight- 1 (24)
Flyweight- 1 (9)
Women’s Featherweight- 1 (7)
Heavyweight- 1 (22)
Lightweight- 1 (45)
Bantamweight- (39)
Light Heavyweight- (29)
Women’s Bantamweight- (13)
Women’s Strawweight- (19)
2019 Number Tracker
Debuting Fighters (20-43)- Tanner Bosse, Yoshinori Horie, Giacomo Lemos
Short Notice Fighters (20-27)-
Second Fight (40-16)- Kyle Stewart, Sarah Frota, Sueng Woo Choi, Viviane Araújo, Marc-André Barriault, Arman Tsaryukan
Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (14-27)- Gavin Tucker, Frankie Edgar
Undefeated Fighters (25-29)- Giacomo Lemos
Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (9-8)-
Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (20-17)- Erik Koch, Sarah Frota, Max Holloway
Twelve Precarious Ponderings
1- In no small part, I think it's fair to acknowledge that moving PPVs to ESPN+ has, at least for me, dampened the enthusiasm fans have for PPV. Maybe that'll ultimately be a good thing but on principle alone, these cards seem a tick below the old school "gather round and party" UFC PPV events. Beyond that though, are we not giving Edgar vs Holloway its just due as a title fight? Max Holloway is still in my opinion the greatest featherweight of all time and this fight would be yet another step towards solidifying a potential hall of fame resume. It's not wrong to suggest that a stoppage over Edgar would be yet another step towards solidifying Holloway's spot among the GOAT. On the other hand, we just saw him get beaten up by Dustin Poirier up a weight class. Going up and taking a risk didn't impact BJ Penn and Conor McGregor but those two had a different sort of legacy and a more dedicated fanbase to make sure those things didn't matter. Frankie Edgar earned a title shot with wins over Jeremy Stephens and Yair Rodriguez before risking it all in the pursuit of being the ultimate company man. A short notice loss to Brian Ortega seemed to put him further to the back of the line but Edgar returned a little over a month later to decision Cub Swanson and has laid low since. In many ways, Edgar getting put back into the title picture is a rare example of the UFC doing something nice and fair. Edgar should've gone to the back of the line but instead the UFC rewarded him for doing them a favor in taking the Ortega fight.
2- Is the UFC being overly presumptious/optimistic in believing that the winner of this fight can make a quick enough turnaround to fight Volkanovski in early October? As champion, I think the quickest turnaround Frankie Edgar ever made was early October to late February but he was also 7 years younger then. For Holloway, December to March WAS supposed to be his quickest turnaround but he got hurt and the fight got scrapped.
3- Does Holloway have to finish Frankie Edgar to get his buzz back or would a win suffice for most fans?
4- Has any other fighter lost five straight title fights in the UFC? If Edgar loses to Holloway, I think he'll officially break his own record (that he holds with Urijah Faber who lost to Cruz and Barao twice).
5- I wonder IF the UFC could do it over, would they still go through with trying a female featherweight division. It got them a few Cyborg fights (which at the very least gave them a salvaged PPV or two) but overall, you have to wonder if this is what they expected when they (lazily) fell into the division. Although Felicia Spencer is probably a far more reputable opponent for Cyborg than when Cyborg was trying to get the UFC to sign Pam Sorenson.
6- The entire UFC/Cyborg situation could be done over the course of a few days but allow me the opportunity to try and paint the numbers here briefly:
Cyborg was signed because the UFC still had designs of Ronda (now vanquished by Holly Holm) making the comeback, rising up and facing Cyborg once before she'd go on to do other things. It didn't QUITE work out that way and so the UFC had a fighter they had no interest in taking up space on their cards. At this point Brazilian MMA was on a serious slump and Cyborg represented someone who could headline a card or two there, give the UFC some depth on PPVs. Then the UFC wound up deciding to go full bore with a 145 lb division----without Cyborg in the opening fight. It seemed like they were trying to set up Cyborg for the winner but GDR/Holm was a PPV bust and GDR didn't want the fight so they scrapped THAT and tried again with Cyborg as the lead dog. From there, Cyborg turned into a pretty decent PPV draw even though it always felt like this was an arraigned marriage more or less. Her two headliners did well enough (210K-ish vs Yanit, 375K-ish with Holly Holm) but the UFC never seemed to like her much and the feeling was mutual seemingly. Cyborg supported Leslie Smith's Project Spearhead on multiple occasions and would accuse the UFC of bias against her on a number of occasions. The UFC would in turn tell her to stop worrying about things that don't matter and for her to stop trying to act as her own matchmaker. There was a borderline embarrassing moment where Cyborg had a member of the media during a press conference ask Dana White to unblock her on Instagram. Both sides were in a convenient set up where they needed to at least tolerate one another and they could barely pull that off.
Things came to a head when the UFC finally sacked up (at the demands of Amanda Nunes seemingly) and gave us the champ vs champ fight. If Nina Ansaroff deserves a ton of credit for being a liason between the UFC and Amanda Nunes, Cyborg deserves an equal amount of credit for giving them a reason to get over Nunes wiping Meisha Tate and Ronda Rousey while also being a pest about doing media. Nunes wiped Cyborg out and the entire narrative on her changed in an instant. With the changing narrative though emerged the challenge; Nunes wanted a rematch, Cyborg wanted a rematch while the UFC had no interest in Cyborg vs Nunes II with one fight remaining on her deal. Cyborg flirted openly with leaving the UFC, said pretty much as such recently and just when the UFC felt like they were out of the Cyborg business, Amanda Nunes stirred it back up by wanting to REMATCH Cyborg still although I'd suppose the UFC doing a Cyborg fight by and large was bound to make it an issue regardless. Now the only buzz to the co-main is whether Cyborg can win to set up a potential rematch that 90% of the people watching probably have no belief in actually happening.
I think if everybody was on truth serum, you'd probably get a breakdown where everybody agrees that this has no chance of panning out in a positive sense. The UFC on a truth serum would probably be fine with Cyborg not fighting for them after this unless it was on some sort of team friendly deal so to speak (although all MMA contracts are team friendly given the nature of the biz). Cyborg would probably be just fine with fighting in Bellator and being some kind of a novelty act for her remaining fans unless the UFC paid her greatly and made some concessions on their protocol for fighter relations. Amanda Nunes is fine with whatever happens but she probably knows a Cyborg rematch as a co-main trumps trying to convince fans that a GDR rematch or a fight with Macy Chiasson or a fight with Yanit Kunitskaya is must see programming. Cyborg makes the most money in the UFC in theory, the UFC makes the most money with Nunes-Cyborg 2 and Nunes' career resume becomes GOAT regardless of gender if she finishes Cyborg again. It just requires too many ifs, buts or unless' to feel like it has any probability of happening.
7- Which does the UFC want more; a Cyborg win so they can quietly do away with 145 lbs or a Felicia Spencer win where they can stick to Cyborg one last time and maybe give Amanda Nunes something to do?
8- Even if it's probably an ESPN PPV prelim headliner on a more complete card, I'm really excited about Niko Price vs Geoff Neal. Of all the DWTCS guys signed, it could be argued that Geoff Neal is the best so far. He's an insanely good striker with stout takedown defense and some of the best in the pocket combinations you'll see at 170 lbs. He's developing more and more into someone who should be remembered as 170 lbs continues to amass depth in the middle rankings. I have some concerns about his ability to rally in a tough fight and I do think he'll struggle with the bigger welterweights but so far so good. Conversely Niko Price has gone from ultra exciting prospect to a solid proven action fighter who looks set to make the mantle of violent finisher at 170 lbs from the likes of Tim Means and Matt Brown. He'll be a great test for Neal and at the very least, this should be an exciting fight.
9- Is the bloom off of the Hakeem Dawodu rose or are we still holding on? He's 2-1 in the UFC but none of those performances were really of the standout variety. The fact that he's facing a debuting guy and not a proven 145 lber after beating Kyle Bochniak suggests the UFC is looking to slow it down, reassess and see if they can rebuild him again.
10- Can a fighter who is 16-5-1 be a prospect? I suppose that'll have to be the case with 27 year old HW Tanner Boser. Canada needs SOMEBODY to emerge from the mess and Boser, who has been fighting out in Russia, is probably one of their better chances unless you're sold on Gavin Tucker or Hakeem Dawodu. He kicks off the show vs Giacomo Lemos on ESPN+.
11- Erik Koch has fought in the UFC since 2011. He was one of MMA's weirdest resumes with elite names like Dustin Poirier, Rafael Asssuncao, Clay Guida, Ricardo Lamas and Bobby Green on it. He was a former title contender for Jose Aldo's featherweight title. He's got 21 pro fights, fought in three different UFC weight classes and is just NOW 30. You want to ask "Why are they bothering?" but clearly there's something they like there. Maybe Koch just finally needed to get healthy or maybe the UFC just feels some sort of compulsion towards having a guy who WAS going to be a #1 contender get on the right track. Just feels weird at this point. Koch faces Kyle Stewart who made a short notice debut in January as the first ever fight on the first ever ESPN card.
12- Three fighters on their second fights to keep an eye on; 1) Arman Tsarukyan on short-ish notice gave Islam Makhachev some serious problems as a quick scrambler who had some power in his hands. He was outwrestled but kept going at a pretty hot clip and made a good enough account of himself that he's on the MAIN CARD here against Olivier Aubin-Mercier. 2) Viviane Araujo looked fantastic against Talita Bernardo in a short notice fight up two weight classes. After beating Bernardo up for two rounds, she finished her with a flying knee in the third round to pick up the upset short notice win. She gets one of those "Let's see what they can't do!" step ups against the insanely slow but insanely strong veteran Alexis Davis. That one has potential to be messy. Lastly Sarah Frota looked pretty impressive in her UFC debut which was hampered by her completely blowing the 115 lb weight limit at 123 lbs. She's got some Thiago Silva-esque vibes in terms of being a powerful slow stalker who wings power shots at will and bets on her chin being better than yours when things get tough. She'll be facing Gillian Robertson who will offer nothing on the feet but is a tremendously adept grappler who can snag subs at will. Remember Livia Souza almost subbed Frota with an armbar.
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Unpopular opinion: This recent season of shadowhunters makes me kinda glad it got cancelled, if it weren't for the bare minimum of Raphael content and Malec I would have stopped watched. They continue to treat their characters or color poorly, especially downworlders.
I’ve had this thought a couple of times.
I do enjoy some elements of the season, but there’s a lot I dislike, and a lot is due to Magnus and Maia’s treatments in the season.
I also don’t understand certain decisions made in writing and in storylines.
It’s really sad to me that this season seems so sloppy. I struggle to remind myself that it was written BEFORE the cancellation, because it seems to unfinished, sloppy, and fast-tracked through.
If it was written before the cancellation, the Sizzy development makes little to no sense, and so do the Maia/Jordan “forgiveness” *pukes* scenes, and everything.
It’s like this season, especially 3B, was made to try and cram the most possible in 10 episodes, and give all the fanservice. I don’t understand how this could happen, except showing that no one really cares about the story anymore.
Season 3A actions mostly only have consequences on characters of color. Magnus loses his identity and powers, Maia loses her boyfriend and her pack, Raphael is arrested and turned mundane, Luke’s writing doesn’t make ANY FUCKING SENSE?????
Jace doesn’t suffer ANY consequence after being the Owl from 3x01 to 3x10.
It also backtracked on everything the story stood for. It was especially sensible in episodes 14 and 15.
First, we have the Maia story.
Maia, whose entire storyline up to 3x14 was that she was not forgiving Jordan, because she was moving past him and that he didn’t deserve forgiveness. With a story of abuse, and a metaphor for rape through the Turning and its sequels, it was a story of a strong woman fighting for herself and overcoming PTSD. Suddenly, she was forced into apologizing and forgiving, because Jordan was dying. The writers engineered a situation in which a woman had to tend to her abuser’s wounds and listen to the very excuses she did NOT want to hear from him.
This was not closure. Closure was had in 3x08. We did not need to “go back” and have forgiveness, because forgiveness isn’t something that every character and every person deserves.
Second, the Clave & the System.
The show has always told us, always, to question the Clave and the authority, because they are bad.
In 3x14 and 3x15 though, we've had the absolutely contrary.
This goes very much against how the entire show has framed, or tried to frame, the Clave.
Until nowthe Clave was Imogen Herondale, early Lydia, Aldertree, Valentine, Malachi Dieudonné, Jia Penhallow. They were “The Law is the Law”, they were characters who were unjust because they followed antiquated, racist rules and ideals and beliefs. The Clave was the system to dismantle.
Following 3x15, the Clave is now Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis, Underhill, etc
we have:
- Magnus facing issues because he's a Downworlder staying at the Institute, which is a problem that's against the Rules of the System
- Izzy bringing Raphael back because following the Rules of the System is better
- Simon being mad at Maia for not following the Rules of the System
- Heidi cheating the System and getting Death
- Clary not letting Jonathan get captured, and getting Aline sayng this is badthis is a huge glorification of the System™ as a whole.
As well as an obvious way for characters to get closer. Simon and Izzy are suddenly on the same side, with their earlier love interests, Maia and Raphael, on the other. Magnus cant really refuse Alec's offer to move in together, because he's almost defenseless now. Clary and Jace are on the same side against Aline and the Clave, and also against Jonathan.
The Clave goes from authoritarian government to take down, to hard but fair justice. This is very sad, and very annoying to watch.
When a show is entirely based on race metaphors and the idea that racism breeds genocide, you can’t have the very basis of the racism machine be “good guys”.
It’s almost as if the writers don’t care anymore, and if the writers don’t care: why should we?
Add to that the fact that, at the end of 3B, we will basically be in the same situation as at the end of 2B. Jonathan dead, Valentine dead, Lilith gone, Clace, Malec.
Season 3 has some highs, and a lot of lows, and yes, it makes me think, often, that if this is what season 3 is like, then what would have been season 4? And would I have even wanted to watch season 4?
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Katie says goodbye to the Supernatural cons.
Alright, so, I’ve been putting off writing this post for a couple days, because exhaustion hit me like a freight train and I’ve been feeling icky and sickly for awhile, so bleh. But okay. Time to get emo on main.
So about five years ago, around this time of year, actually, i finally got the chance to go to my first ever convention. me and some friends at the time were all planning on going to the Salute to Supernatural convention in Minneapolis, Minnesota in August of 2015. I was so excited to finally get to do this, because I’d been wanting to go to a con since 2011. This was my chance to finally go, and see Richard Speight Jr, and make a dumb dream that kept me alive for a long time come true. And it was, without a doubt, the most magical, and important experience of my life to date.
Around this time, I was beginning to come up in the fandom. i had a really good following, my fics were getting a lot of attention, i was in with a group that was insanely popular, and life was actually really good. The show was the most important thing in my life, and i had countdowns going until it came back on in the fall. i was in very deep in the fandom, and it was my main source of happiness, so going to this con was going to be fucking HUGE for me.
^^ freshly turned 20 year old Katie out there living the best life she could at the time. she was trying her best.
So we get to Minneapolis on that Thursday, and we’re walking around, and it hadn’t exactly sunk in yet that I was there. Like, I knew I was going, and I knew what was all going to happen, but I hadn’t been like “oh god this is happening” as of then.
I remember the moment that it did sink in, though. We were sitting in our seats, Richard and Rob were up on stage doing the rules and regulations, and I kind of came back into my body and realized that i was shaking a LOT, and i just remember looking around the auditorium, and then back up to the stage, and hearing Richard’s voice. I thought to myself “You did it. You made it here. You stayed alive for this moment right here. You fucking did it.” and that’s when everything sunk in completely for me.
i remember crying a lot after that.
The con was everything I imagined it would be. I laughed a TON, i got to spend time with some - at the time - really good friends, and I was very swept up in the magic of the whole weekend, and I never wanted that feeling to go away.
Then on Sunday, I got to meet Richard in person.
I won’t go into details, and I’ll spare the sob story that lead up to all of it, but I will summarize and say that Sunday at Minncon 2015 remains one of the most important days of my entire life. there was so much personal feelings wrapped up in all of that, and I still have no clue how i managed not to break down crying as soon as i saw him.
I love that man more than just about anything else, even to this day. richard is still a driving force to me to keep on going with life no matte what happens, and i owe him so much for that.
anyways, i loved the con. I loved the show, the cast, the whole experience. I walked away from that with some of the best memories that i will keep with me forever. I’ve said this a thousand times before over the last several years, but Richard Speight makes those conventions an incredible experience. The effort he puts into them, the way he treats his fans, all of it makes the cons so special for me. I thank him so much for being such a wonderful person, and making me want to go back again and again and again.
And i wanted so badly to do just that. I wanted to see Richard again. I wanted to do the cons, and hang out with friends more, and just do the whole fucking thing. Because that was peak happiness for me. it still is, in some ways.
Between the ending of 2015 and the beginning of 2017, i had a bad falling out with the people i went to Minncon with. i lost a lot of my popularity, i backed way off of all of the corners of the fandom that I’d made a name for myself in, and i kept my head down. I did and said some really stupid stuff that I’m not exactly proud of, and I paid the price for it. As a result, i started backing off.
But I still loved Richard, and i wanted to see him again.
So I saved. And saved. And saved even more. And in February of 2017, I got the chance to do it all again. I got to meet and hang out with a BUNCH of friends on that trip, and I got to spend a lot of time with two people who have become so important to me, and who I love dearly.
i owe that to Nashville.
^^ 21 year old Katie, had experienced a lot of bullshit and was living a her goodest life, but not her best. Still trying to get through some shit and attempting to grab life by the balls once more.
Nashville was... an experience.
the company that puts on the cons ended up doing a mega price raise, and everything went up by a lot of dollars (i’m too tired to math now, but it was a fucking LOT of money and even more stress by the time i got to buy tickets). I was really mad about it, and decided that nashville would be my second and last con.
i decided to go ahead and go all out with it since nobody would ever see me again.
I got to see richard right out of the gate again on that Friday, and actually got the chance to talk to him for a moment (i use that term very loosely, seeing as my “talking” is just me stuttering out two or three words and running away) and by some fucking miracle, richard actually fucking remembered my dumb face, and that made my entire life up to that point worth living (still kinda does tbh). I hurried out of the autograph line with my buddies, found the nearest chair i could plop down into where he wouldn’t see me, and i cried. i cried real ass tears (thanks for putting up with me, that day, christy!)
I actually got called up to do karaoke this time with one of my absolute best friends and favorite people, and we fucking rocked it. for four minutes, we were rockstars and it was fucking great. we got to act like idiots and get yelled at by Matt Cohen (KAZOO KREW FOR LIFE!) and ugh. it was just incredible.
Saturday was good. tt’s kind of a blur of ups and downs and photo ops, but overall, it was a good day. Same with Sunday. I know a lot more tears were shed by a lot of people in our group. And christy and brandi screamed at misha collins. That was fucking hilarious.
Nashville was a fucking great con, and despite all the crap that happened during and after, i wouldn’t trade it or change a single thing about it. I loved that con, and the people i got to go to it with. we all had an incredible time.
And part of me still, despite everything i told myself, wanted to go again.
Between February and May of 2017, i underwent a huge change in my life: I somehow got talked into watching anime with a - at the time - good friend of mine, and realized “wow. this is actually a lot better than what spn has done for a long time.” and it kinda pissed me off because WOW THIS IS WHAT SHOWS COULD BE LIKE WITH WELL WRITTEN FEMALE CHARACTERS THAT DON’T DIE!!!!! (thank you, fma for helping me see that light!). i was mad, but i was still devoted to spn, and yadda yadda yadda.
in May of 2017, i watched the finale of season 12 at my friend Cas’s place, and the finale left such a bad taste in my mouth, that i decided that was it. i was angry, i was hurt, i was completely done. i stepped completely out of the fandom, i muted all the fan accounts i followed on twitter, i spent that whole summer getting farther into the weeb side of life, and farther away from my spn roots.
and i’ve never fucking regretted it since.
I started looking into conventions for anime around my hometown, and ended up finding one that looked fun. And Ohayo was a fucking BLAST - but that’s a post that’s been sitting in my drafts since january that i haven’t written up yet. I’ll finish writing that eventually...
but i was so done with spn by that point that i wasn’t even upset that nashville was the last con for me.
I had started getting back into the fandom during s13, started writing fic again, and THEY ACTUALLY BROUGHT MY HONEYBEAR SON, MY PRIDE AND JOY, MY EVERYTHING, MY FUCKING WAFFLE CHILD BACK AND EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. I WAS HAPPY. I WAS BACK. I WAS LIVING MY BEST FUCKING LIFE.
and then... then they took him away from me again. for nothing more than shock value.
and then i said nope fuck this im out im done fuck you all i’m going full ass weeb. FUCK IT ALL. i doubled down on my belief that i was doing no more cons, no more anything.
And then the fuckers announced that there would be a convention in cleveland, OH. Which I had been single-handedly campaigning for a con here for YEARS. When I finally get out of the fandom, they give us one. Absolute bastards!
So, with a defeated sigh, i decided “one more. one more and then it’s over for real.”
besides, i really, really, really, REALLY wanted to see richard again.
So i decided, why not get the remaining members of the gang back together, and go out with a fucking blast? that kinda worked. i got one member of the gang to come with me, and the other was there in spirit.
Richard cancelled about a week and a half before, which meant that my main reason for going was gone. and then misha cancelled until sunday, which meant my other reason for going was gone. but i still wanted to go and say goodbye to the cons and what little bit of the cast was there.
so we get there on friday, knowing full well friday is the only day we’re going, we didn’t buy tickets, we didn’t do anything to give creation our money, and we went in AOT cosplay because we’re cringy cool like that. and it was... surprisingly freeing.
^^ 23 year old Katie, who at this point has seen so much shit it doesn’t phase her anymore. Living an even better life than 2015!Katie. much more confident in herself, and a lot happier in general. Still trying her best.
the con itself was a shitshow. it was an absolute shitshow. but i had every bit as much fun hanging in the lobby with my friend as i did actually doing the panels and stuff. i knew this was my goodbye, and having the con be so higuhgieh actually made it a little easier to say goodbye to it. karaoke was a fucking blast, and i shouted and danced the entire night, and my poor voice suffered.
you’d think i just saw my best friend get eaten by a titan right in front of my eyes by how gone my voice was by the end of the night. -cough-
on the way back to the hotel is when it hit me that it was officially over. i cried the whole 20 minute drive back, knowing that this was the final time i’d ever see any of it. my last karaoke. my last chance to see everyone. my last spn con. it was so bittersweet, because i had such a blast, but it was done. it was all done.
and i didn’t even get to say bye to the man that i owe everything to. that’s what hurt the most about the whole thing.
i wouldn’t trade the cons for anything. i spent some of the best (and worst) years of my life doing them. the experiences and memories i have from these conventions are ones i wouldn’t give up, even if i could spare myself some heartache or stress. i am so grateful for these opportunities to meet these incredibly talented people, and get to see my friends there, and just have the time of my life. there isn’t one thing about any of those cons that i regret.
i am so sad to be giving them up, but i know it’s for the best. the prices keep going up, and it would take even longer to afford them, and i just can’t keep doing it to myself. the stress is crazy enough as it is, and there’s a lot i’ve missed out on trying to afford these things.
Not only that, but I’ve grown and evolved so much from that 19 year old doing everything she could to save back for her first con - and out of state trip. i’m not anywhere near who i was back then. i’ve gained much more confidence in myself, i’ve gained much more self worth, learned to control my anxiety/depression, and learned what i will and will not put up with from people. i’m a MUCH happier person than i was back then, and i’ve gained a lot of life experience and a lot of new interests over the last few years. so much has happened so fast, and almost everything has turned on its head.
but one thing that hasn’t changed for me is my love for Richard Speight Jr. I have said it in this post alone several fucking times, but i adore Richard. He is without a doubt one of the funniest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and he makes these cons so special for a lot of people - myself included. he’s the reason I kept wanting to go back, the reason that i kept pushing through the bad times, he’s been my reason to “Always Keep Fighting”. I am so blessed to have so many memories with him, and they’re the ones i talk about more than anything when talking about the cons. He will always have a huge and special place in my heart, and he will still continue being one of the big reasons why I keep pushing, and keep going, even when i don’t want to. he has absolutely no idea how important him just existing has been for this dumbass, and i really wish that he did. i hope that he knows the impact he’s had on my life, and that he’s always been my favorite since the trickster first announced that he had more ass than a toilet seat. richard has been one of the biggest inspirations to me for the last 6 years, and i literally owe the man my life. i’m so happy that he exists. it makes things a little easier knowing that he does.
I’m going to miss him so much that it hurts, and I hate that I didn’t get to see him or get to hug him one more time. that’s the hardest part for me about saying goodbye to the cons.
it’s so bittersweet going forward now, because there’s this huge part of my life that’s over, and i don’t know how to fully express all of it, but im so glad that i got to be on the ride as long as i did.
hopefully in the future, things will continue to be as fun as the last four and a half years have been. i can’t wait to see what future conventions hold for me and my friends.
#kaytastrophes#i started crying talking about richard and now i can't stop#im going to miss him so much you guys. so fucking much.#thank you so much to richard speight for making life worth living#i don't think a single thing in this post is coherent but it's 3 am and i'm sad and emotional and i wanted to get some of it out#katie cons
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I Like to Watch | Designated Survivor, Season Three
By Don Hall
Of all the many things that got me through the eight years of George W. Bush (rage, vitriol, a massive sense that things had gone completely wrong in the country, a belief that Cheney would figure out how to install himself as dictator, the horror of a pre-emotive war that was protested by more people than the Vietnam conflict, and writing about all these things daily) was Martin Sheen, Aaron Sokrin and The West Wing.
President Bartlett and his staff of plucky intellectuals gave me the hope that there actually could be a presidency worth believing in. Each week as they dealt with global and domestic crisis all while handling their soap opera-like personal problems and, through it all, maintaining a sense of pluck and moxie that only they could, I held on to the wavering faith I had in the American system of governance.
Seriously, Sorkin and Co. Gave me the ability to survive those years of the burgeoning Iraq war and the War On Terrrrr. I never missed an episode and bought the DVD box sets when they’d go on sale and rewatch them. Once Obama was elected, I’d rewatch certain episodes and pretend that CJ Craig worked for him and that there was the same walk ‘n talk banter in the Obama White House as there was on my television.
Then came Trump.
Suddenly the rosey vision of a staff of intelligent, liberal-minded political strategists seemed out of date. Quaint, even. I tried watching some episodes during that first year of the Trumpization of America and wondered how Martin Sheen would handle him and his addiction to social media and fast food and locker room talk. It wasn’t the same because even W. Was of the same political universe as Bartlett. Trump represented some bizarre turn down an overgrown forest pathway that wasn’t even a pathway.
When Kiefer Sutherland, no longer the grizzled Right Wing fantasy of Jack Bauer and Hilo’s torture fetish, appeared on ABC as Tom Kirkman, the accidental president in this new show Designated Survivor, I wondered how it might be the Trump antidote, that beacon of hope and faith that Sorkin gave me back in the Dark Ages of the beginnings of the 21st century.
It was not.
The premise was interesting:
As a lower-level cabinet member, Tom Kirkman never imagined something would happen that would catapult him to the oval office. When a devastating attack on the night of the State of the Union address claims the lives of the president and most of the Cabinet, the Housing and Urban Development secretary — who was named the designated survivor in case of such an event — finds himself promoted to leader of the free world. Suddenly thrust into his new position of power, Kirkman struggles to keep the country from dissolving into chaos and must adjust to his new normal, unaware of what fresh horrors may await the United States.
The cast was solid and included Sutherland, Maggie Q, Kal Penn, and some new faces I hadn’t seen before.
But it was just a movie of the week sort of thing. Entertaining on a few levels but not a show that made me feel like it represented an America I either knew or wanted to live in. Domestic terrorists, a few stabs at anti-Alt Right plotting, some political chess-playing. It was fine but nothing worth writing home about. It was cancelled by ABC after two seasons.
But something happened that could only truly happen right now at this time in the ever-changing world of televised and streaming entertainment: Netflix decided to buy and produce a third season.
Designated Survivor, Season Three is something else. Something more. Something deeply complex and almost Greek in its depictions of good people struggling with their flaws on a world stage where what they do and say actually matters to millions of people. Kirkman has survived his first term as an accident and is now actively running, as an Independent, for a second term.
In now seeking the office (and also on Netflix), the character now can curse and struggle with the quest for power and what that does to the soul of an honest man, the show can show pretty steamy sex between two black men, pivot a transgender sister-in-law to the president (played by a transgender actress), deal with assisted suicide, bio-terror used to wipe out populations of color, political ratfucking (watch All the President’s Men if you aren’t familiar with the term) and perhaps the wokest fucking show on television. What makes it truly woke rather than woke for show is that the issues of racial inequity, intolerance, white supremacy and what it may take to beat these things are never answered easily.
Sutherland goes from a simple TV role to really showing some serious acting chops and the supporting cast (including the spectacular Julie White and a grand performance by Anthony Edwards) get to really chew on the raw meat of genuine moral quandary.
This third season didn’t actually make me feel the same kind of naive hope that The West Wing did but it did make feel that there is a path through the fear and despair so many feel with Trump at the helm. The path is not easy and there is no Good and Evil. There is no War on White Supremacy anymore than there is a War Against The Rapidly Roasting Planet. There are just good people out there, warts and all, who believe enough in democracy and the potential of the country to actually give a fuck about how we fight the fights we fight. Sometimes dirty, sometimes ethically, sometimes sidestepping to let the other side trip but always striving to be better than the other side. To have better solutions to the problems.
There will be a life after Trump. The Big Question asked by Designated Survivor, Season Three is: will we be able to look ourselves in the mirror when he’s gone and wonder if we could have fought more cleanly, more ethically, with less hatred? The answers, even on the show, are not readily available but the question remains.
I think it’s an important one.
#I Like to Watch#Designated Survivor#The West Wing#Aaron Sorkin#Martin Sheen#George W. Bush#Dick Cheney#Kiefer Sutherland
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The spy and the movie guy
So, @leralynne inspired me to write some Minty to celebrate Season 5, and since I had this cute fic idea sitting around on my blog, I went for it. I present to you: International spy Miller and actually not his presumed informant Monty and Wednesday night movies. [also on ao3]
As far as informant meet-ups go, this one is pretty much by the book: Walk up to the informant as he stands in the agreed-upon spot, say the code-phrase and wait for the reply, then steer the conversation towards the intel – in this case, a flash drive with enough dirt to incriminate a bunch of people involved in a variety of illegal activities.
Sure, the meeting-place is a bit out there, perhaps – a ramshackle little movie theater that looks like it's been frozen in time in the 1950s. But while the flickering neon sign, threadbare red carpet and faded gold ornaments of the ARKADIA are unusually atmospheric for a simple informant meet-up, Miller decides he likes the place. It's got charm, and it reminds him of going to the long-closed Tivoli theater to watch old Westerns with his Dad.
It's also not a bad choice for a place to subtly make contact: Shortly before the start of the evening's feature films, the lobby is filling up with people, buying popcorn, meeting up with friends and looking at the posters and movie paraphernalia lining the walls. For a moment, Miller is surprised how busy the place is on a Wednesday evening, then he sees the posters advertising the weekday's reduced-price promotion. All the better, he thinks - no one will pay any attention to him when he steps up to the man currently standing in front of the poster for Hidden Figures, holding a gigantic bucket of popcorn and looking at his phone with a dismayed expression.
He sort of fits the description he sent he agency beforehand: Asian, late twenties, dark, floppy hair, regular to slim physique. (Although Miller wonders if that wasn't a bit too modest a description – the guy's wearing a short-sleeved shirt, and despite its loose fit, there's undeniable definition to his arms and chest.) Still, the description doesn't have to fit 100%, he knows – that's what the code-phrase is for after all.
Miller slowly makes his way over, taking a moment to study each poster until he's finally standing in front of his destination. The man hasn't moved, which only cements Miller's belief that he is in fact the contact he's looking for.
Picking up a leaflet with the theater's current program, he thumbs through it for a moment before he pretends to quote from it:
“Katherine Johnson knew: once you took the first step, anything was possible.”
The man looks around for a moment, trying to find out who Miller is talking to – which, alright, may be a little theatrical, but if it makes him feel safer about this endeavour, Miller won't make him feel bad about that. Then the man apparently decides that he's devoted enough time to the surprised act, and turns towards Miller to look at him – and startle him thoroughly with his beaming smile and happy exclamation:
“You read the book!“ When Kane sent him the code-phrase, Miller hadn't imagined hearing the informant's reply with quite so much enthusiasm – usually, these sort of meetings are quiet, subdued affairs where everyone is trying to draw as little attention as possible. But here, in this place that looks like it fell out of time, and on this guy who seems like he can probably muster up enthusiam for anything, it works somehow.
Miller nods, a little thrown by the impossibly bright smile directed at him.
“It's pretty good. I wanted to see if the movie can keep up.“
“Oh, it definitely can,“ the informant nods, still every bit as enthusiastic. “I've watched it three times already, and I bawled my eyes out every time.“
This is getting stranger by the second. Sure, the code-phrase was related to the movie, but usually, they'd have moved on from their original smoke screen of a topic to, well, exchanging the actual information. So Miller does something he doesn't usually have to do: He prods.
“So, you got anything for me?“
There's a note of confusion on the other man's face now, but after a moment's hesitation, he nods towards the giant bucket of popcorn he's holding.
“The popcorn's pretty good here. And I bought way too much because my asshole friend cancelled on me last-minute.“ Another hesitant beat, shorter this time. “We can share, if you like.
Miller suppresses a sigh. It happens sometimes: Informants get freaked out at the last minute. At least this one hasn't skipped out on him entirely. Now it seems Miller just has to calm him down enough to get that data.
“I would like that.” He smiles, warm and inviting, and can tell from the way the other man's eyes widen that the charm did its trick. The whole “seduce and confuse”-approach isn't normally his thing (that's Bellamy's specialty), but he can flirt his way into a target or informant's trust in a pinch. Still with his warmest smile in place, he holds out his hand. “My name's Miller, by the way. Nathan Miller.”
The informant smiles back and Miller notes absently that ignoring his grumpy and aloof nature in order to crank out some charm isn't as much of a chore as it usually is.
“Monty.”
The door to the auditorium next to them opens at this moment, the usher allowing in the first guests, and Monty steers determinedly towards him, supposedly to enjoy his fourth screening of the movie. Miller curses quietly at the thought of potentially wasting two entire hours on this simple assignment, no matter how good the movie, but follows him anyway. He has no choice if he wants that flash drive, but there's a tiny part of him that is also intrigued by this man, who seems fairly normal but then goes around endlessly rewatching movies so he can cry about them.
He is also, Miller realises five minutes into the movie, the kind of person who comments. A lot.
Which, under any other circumstance, would annoy the hell out of him, because Miller likes to watch his movies in stoic silence and then think about them alone afterwards. He does not need to analyze things as they happen on screen, or to hear little fun facts about the actors or the filming, or to hear other peoples' opinions on the movie before they've even finished watching. And yet, that's exactly what Monty provides – and Miller finds that he likes it.
Because Monty, it turns out, is funny as hell and smells very good, both of which Miller finds out when he first leans across the armrest to comment on soomething, and soon the flash drive is completely forgotten as he's nodding along with Monty's commentary and stifling inappropriate laughs and leaning in a little more each time Monty inclines his head towards him.
"I swear to God, if they don't give Taraji an Oscar for this, I will riot," Monty declares, then adds sheepishly: "On Twitter, at least."
Miller laughs softly, and when he looks at Monty, the light from the movie screen dimly illuminating his face, the other man is looking back at him, eyes wide and mouth parted slightly, and Miller knows what it means from countless hours of body language interpretation courses. He also has a pretty good feeling that he himself is looking much the same way right now. And Miller realises, right there in that darkened movie theater, that he's fucked. Not only has he now wasted almost two hours and is still no closer to getting that data, but, he realises, he's enjoying himself far too much. There's a pleasant little hum inside him every time Monty leans closer to share his thoughts on the movie; shoulder brushing against Miller's, warm breath rushing past his cheek, his low whisper vibrating through Miller's over-alert body, and Miller goes from “international super spy” to “teenager with a crush” within the span of less than two hours.
He's almost relieved when his phone lights up, minutes away from the end of the movie, and there’s a message from Kane to distract him from this torture.
SOURCE SAYS YOU NEVER MADE CONTACT. WHAT HAPPENED?!?
Shit.
Shit shit shit.
Monty isn't his source.
Monty is simply a chatty, funny, incredibly cute cinephile who has nothing better to do than befriend the other poor souls who are damned to go to the cinema alone.
And then, for the first time in possibly ever, Miller has an unprofessional thought as Kane's words fully register: If Monty isn't your source, a selfish little voice whispers in his head, that means you can see him again.
And so, when the movie ends, Miller doesn't rush off back to headquarters immediately, as he should. He turns to Monty as they're filing out of the theater and says:
"This was fun. Wanna do it again some time?"
Monty stops in the middle of the hallway, throwing the ordered exodus of moviegoers around them into disarray, to stare at Miller for a moment. Then that smile makes another appearance, just as startling as the first time.
"I'm here most weeks for the Wednesday special."
This time, Miller doesn't have to consciously bring himself to smile back – it happens all on its own. "See you next Wednesday then.”
Monty nods, looking a little overwhelmed, and Miller actually winks at him giddily before he remembers that he needs to go and lets the crowd sweep him towards the exit.
The lightness in his chest lasts all the way back to headquarters, and not even the prospect of having to explain his monumental fuck-up can ruin it.
He should definitely go to the movies more often, Miller decides.
The debrief goes over better than expected – Kane isn't exactly pleased, but Miller has never majorly messed up before, so he lets it slide. The only awkward moment comes when Bellamy asks:
“So if the man you thought was the informant didn't give you any intel, what the hell were you doing at that theater for two hours?”
Miller can only reply dumbly: “I watched the movie.”
Luckily, this is where Kane's passion for psychology saves him: Instead of reproaching Miller for not ditching the useless non-informant, Kane actually praises him for gaining his trust.
“Sometimes an informant isn't ready to get into the details right away. In such cases, building up a rapport is crucial.”
Bellamy huffs and Miller grins smugly and all but floats home that night. Against all odds, he got out of this fuck-up with nothing more than a mild reproach. Kane already managed to re-establish contact with their source and convinced him to try another pick-up. And in less than a week, he'll see Monty again.
Nathan Miller has snuck past Fort Knox-worthy security measures, jumped off cliffs, faced down armed assassins, and fought his way out of a whole bunch of seemingly impossible situations. And yet, he's never been more nervous than he is now, standing in front of the ARKADIA on a rainy Wednesday to see La La Land.
Monty is nowhere in sight, and for a short, stupid moment Miller thinks he forgot about their not really a date-thing. Or perhaps he decided to avoid the creepy dude who randomly quoted stuff at him and then followed him into the cinema to steal his popcorn?
But just as he's about to lose his nerve and leave, he spots a shock of dark hair, and then Monty is standing before him wearing jeans and a striped shirt and the same impossibly bright smile he wore last week.
“Hi!” He says breathlessly, then adds: “Sorry I'm late. My bike refused to cooperate.”
Miller wants to blurt out that he almost thought he wouldn't show at all and admit how fucking happy he is that he did, but then the usher calls out that their movie is about to begin, and they hasten inside.
The experience is exactly as great as the last time, quietly shared jokes and Miller's heartbeat speeding up every time Monty's shoulder bumps into his, and Miller knows with sudden clarity that he never wants to give this up again.
He's back next week for another Oscar nominee, and then the week after that, and of course they're catching Moonlight the week after the Oscars. But watching movies soon becomes secondary to just meeting Monty, and soon his favourite thing about Wednesdays is standing in the lobby after the screening to go over every little scene until they're asked to leave because the ARKADIA is closing for the night. Instead of ending the conversation there, Monty suggests they head to a nearby coffee shop, and with a cup of hot coffee in hand, it's easy to move on from the movie to other topics, some more related (favourite movies, books, musicians) some less. When the conversation eventually turns to their love lives and Monty mentions that he's bisexual, Miller can't stop smiling the next day at work.
Tonight, Monty is nursing his second double Americano in preparation for a night shift to update some company's IT system. Miller briefly considers helping him out with a caffeine pills, one of the many supplements available to him at the agency and strong enough to keep anyone up for days. But of course that would only raise questions, so he stays silent, sips his Cortado and listens as Monty animatedly explains that this upcoming job will be the most challenging thing he's ever done and he can't wait to get started.
Miller briefly considers telling Kane to look into recruiting Monty at the agency, where he could have a new challenge to freak out about every day. But he knows he won't, because a selfish little part of him knows that Monty is the only thing in his life that the agency doesn't have a say over and wants to keep it that way. Their Wednesday evenings; movies and too much popcorn and stories from life as a normal person with a flat share and a cubicle desk and a nagging Mom – these evenings are his, and his alone.
“I'm sorry, listen to me rambling. You probably just want to go home and sleep, and here I am raving about boring computer stuff.”
“No!” Miller replies, so quickly and ferociously Monty draws back a little. “I don't mind listening when you talk about your work. It sounds like you've got a really cool job ahead of you.”
Monty's already smiling again. “I really do. But I'm still going to stop talking about myself. I feel like we never talk about you.”
Miller swallows hard. Monty's not wrong, their conversations do revolve more around Monty than around him – but then, there's a reason for that. He can't share much about his life with Monty no matter how much he wants to – and boy, does he want to. He's come up with a cover story that isn't too far from reality and told Monty that he's a police officer, training to be on a swat team. It's a good choice, because it accounts for showing up with a black eye or talking about harsh training sessions, and he knows a little bit about it because of his Dad. It's not the same as talking about what his life is actually like, about the amount of government-sanctioned snooping and stealing and, yes, killing he's done so far in his short career. But it's better than not talking to Monty at all.
Monty seems to accept the story in any case, although his look of relief when Miller says he has nothing to do with cyber crime tells him he should definitely never mention Monty's name around Kane. And probably also find out a little bit more about his new buddy before he gets any more... attached. It wouldn't be the first time someone tried to get access to the agency by befriending or seducing one of its agents, and while Miller always thought that couldn't happen to his sarcastic, bristly, mistrustful self, that was before he met Monty.
The thing is, with his boundless enthusiasm and determination to have faith in the good in people, Monty brings an outlook on things into Miller's life that, after years of spying on people, has been almost completely lost. But Monty's no wide-eyed ingenue: He's astute and perceptive, and his moral judgment, when he can be persuaded to judge anyone or anything at all, is as harsh as it is absolute – and this too is refreshing, because in Miller's world, pragmatism is king, grey areas are his preferred place of action, and too often he has to make choices expecting to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
Still, it takes a long time for Miller to finally admit to himself just how hard he has fallen for his accidental friend. But then a mission goes sideways, a bullet slips past the edge of his kevlar vest and buries itself in his side – and all Miller can think is that it's Tuesday and getting shot most likely means he'll miss movie night.
Then he blacks out.
It takes over a week until Miller is awake and lucid and strong enough to make a phone call from the hospital phone. Luckily, he still knows Monty's number by heart, because he never saved it in his phone and only ever contacted him from various burner cells to make sure Monty can't be easily traced back to him – a safety precaution he hates but that comes in handy now, seeing as his phone is trashed beyond repair.
When Monty picks up the phone and says his name, Miller's throat tightens for a moment because he's so happy to hear him – and so scared Monty won't want to talk to him, given that he bailed on their last movie night without so much as an explanatory text.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“I'm sorry I stood you up,” Miller blurts out.
“Nate?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn't think I'd hear from you again, after you stood me up and didn't even text. Twice.”
This is the part where he needs to explain, Miller knows – but instead, his mind gets caught on that last little word.
“Twice?”
There's a moment of silence at the other end of the line, then the sheepish response: “I returned the week after that. I thought maybe you'd show up and explain... I'm a hopeless rom... optimist like that, I guess.”
Miller's heart skips. Did Monty just almost call himself a “hopeless romantic”, thus implying he thinks of them in romantic terms?
God he hopes so. And decides, then and there, that if Monty forgives him, he's going to make one hell of a big romantic gesture as soon as he gets out of this hospital.
“I can explain now.”
“You don't have to. It's your time, you can spend it however you like, with or without me.”
“I'm at the hospital, Monty.” Miller says bluntly, suddenly impatient. He needs Monty to understand, which means he needs to explain. “I got shot.” And then because that feels like it might raise a lot of questions and because he just remembers his very convenient fake backstory, he quickly adds: “While I was on patrol.”
“Shit, Nate, I had no idea! I'm sorry I gave you flak for standing me up...”
Miller laughs softly, then stifles it immediately when pain twinges through his chest.
“You couldn't know. For all intents and purposes, it looked like I stood you up, and I'm sorry.”
But Monty won't be appeased. “No, you don't understand! You know how when you get stood up, your friends try to cheer you up with all these wild explanations?”
Miller doesn't, really, but then Murphy and Bellamy are hardly the kinds of friends he confides in about his love life.
“Well, my friend Clarke tried to do that when I told her, she suggested that maybe you were caught in a shootout, and I....” he breaks off, strangled, then continues with an anguished voice: “I actually said “he better be”! I'm a horrible person, Nate!”
Now Miller can no longer hold back a fond laugh, chest pain be damned. But he's filled with such warmth and affection for this man who came out of nowhere and is the definition of that silly “precious cinnamon roll”-meme and made his life 1000 per cent better.
“You're not a horrible person, Monty. You were hurt, I get it. And it's not your fault I got shot. Things went South, it happens. I'm recovering now, okay? They moved me out of the ICU into a regular ward and everything. Just...” He swallows, suddenly nervous. “Just don't watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2 without me, please?”
“Are you kidding? That won't be released for another month! I'm not waiting that long!” There's a brief pause, and Miller wonders hopefully if it's due to nerves on the other end as well. “Which hospital are you in? I'm stopping by as soon as I'm finished here.”
Heart feeling like it's about to burst, Miller gives him the name and address of the hospital, and Monty promises to swing by as soon as possible. Which means two things: He's going to see Monty again soon. And he's going to need a shower and some clothes that aren't hospital-issued, and pronto.
Unfortunately, by the time he's achieved that, there's still no sign of Monty, and Miller already feels exhausted again, an unfortunate side effect of recovering from a bullet wound. No matter how much he fights it, soon his body succumbs to the tiredness, and he nods off.
When he wakes up, Miller wonders for a moment if he died in that shooting after all.
For one thing, his room smells like popcorn. For another, there's a giant Marvel logo hovering in mid-air before him, and it takes him a startled moment to work out that it's actually projected onto the wall. The projector in question is set up on one of those tall hospital bedside tables. And next to it, clicking around on the laptop attached to the projector, is Monty.
“Hi,” Miller croaks, and Monty looks up and almost drops his laptop in his haste to set it down and rush over to the bed.
“Hi! How are you feeling?”
“Pretty good, I guess?” Honestly, right now he's mostly very confused. “What's going on here?”
“Well, I figured since you missed our last two movie nights, we could just catch up here.”
Well, clearly, Monty beat him to his big romantic gesture.
“How the hell did you get the nurses to let you do this?”
Monty shrugs, but there's a hint of pink appearing on his cheeks that disproves the attempt at casualness. “I may have told them a bit of a sob story.”
Miller grins – knowing Monty, this is going to be good. “Oh yeah? What did you tell them?”
“Well, I told them you're my boyfriend and that it's our one year anniversary and we were planning to celebrate it at the cinema where we had our first date, but with you getting shot and all...” He blurts it out all in one rush, then shrugs again. “They were all very moved.”
Miller would laugh because honestly, with that talent for lying, Monty would probably fit right in at the agency. But Monty isn't laughing right now – instead, he's suddenly looking very nervous.
“I hope that doesn't bother you.” He swallows visibly. “It's a little hard to imagine, you and... well, me.”
The vulnerability on his face makes Miller feel like his chest is bursting, and he's relatively sure it's not because of the gunshot wound. Before he knows what he's doing, he's taken Monty's hand and pulled him closer.
“I don't think it is.” Monty's eyes widen, and Miller loosens his grip on his hand, but only enough so that he can softly trace the lines on his palm. He shrugs, then wonders if his nervousness is as apparent as Monty's was just now. “In fact, I like the idea.”
“You do?”
“Yes. Because I like you. And I like watching movies with you, and as soon as I'm out of here I want to do that again but as a date, and....”
He doesn't get any further, because suddenly Monty is kissing him and Miller has no idea what he was even going to say anymore. He tastes like caramel popcorn and minty chapstick and he feels like the best thing that ever happened to him or, for that matter, earth in general. It's only when he rises up from the bed, chasing Monty's lips a little too eagerly, that pain shoots through his chest and reminds him where he is and why heatedly making out may not be the best idea just now.
But then, there's always time for that later, after they've watched the movie and he's recovered some more.
“So, what movie did you bring?”
Monty presses play on his laptop, then promptly clambers back onto the bed as the movie starts playing.
“The first Guardians of the Galaxy, obviously.”
Miller makes an appreciative noise and burrows into Monty's side, a little overwhelmed by the fact that this is now something he's allowed to do. He no longer needs shoulder bumps and almost-touches across an armrest to sustain him – he can just snuggle right on up to Monty.
Monty himself is unusually quiet for once, perhaps a little overwhelmed by all the developments as well, and it gives Miller time to think. Finally, his brain zeroes in on one particular puzzle.
“You know what still baffles me?”
Monty transfers his attention from the screen to Miller and waits for him to explain.
“A stranger walks up to you, starts randomly quoting a book and then demands that you give him some of your popcorn. Why did you not get the hell out of there immediately?“
Monty smiles, and the faint trace of red on his cheeks flares up once more, to Miller's delight.
“The way I remember it, a super hot stranger walked up to me, hit me with the best pick-up line I ever heard, and then wanted to share my popcorn. I thought I was dreaming at first.“
Miller feels his own cheeks heat up a little as well.
“The best pick-up line you ever heard?”
Monty nods earnestly, and Miller has to admit, he has a point. Beside him, Monty grins.
”And I mean, it worked for you.“
“Yeah,” Miller agrees and leans in for another soft kiss, just because he can. Some day soon, he's going to have to explain to Monty what was really behind that pick-up line – but not just yet. “Thank God it did.”
#minty#minty ff#minty fanfiction#this was such fun#also their taste in movies is all over the place idec#my writing
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&#zero13; Through &#zero13; Conor Laird &#zero13; Created on: December 13, 2017 nine:55 pm Closing Up to date: December 13, 2017 nine:55 pm
Fanatics of Arsenal have this night taken goal at attacker Alexis Sanchez, following the Chilean’s disappointing appearing as opposed to West Ham United.
Matchup
The 2 aspects went face to face on the Olympic Stadium, with guests Arsenal entering court cases at the again of a relating to appearing at St. Mary’s on Sunday, culminating in a 1-1 draw.
The Gunners, regardless of retaining the majority of ownership, appeared lacklustre within the ultimate 3rd, whilst but every other defensive mistake as soon as once more proved expensive in permitting the Saints their handiest objective of the day.
West Ham, in the meantime, have been for sure stuffed with self belief forward of this night’s conflict, having dispatched of London competitors Chelsea on the weekend in massively spectacular model.
Groups
The lineups for this night have been introduced an hour previous to kick-off, with David Moyes unsurprisingly sticking with the similar facet that appeared so cast as opposed to champions Chelsea on Saturday:
Identical beginning XI that beat Chelsea…#COYI #WHUARS http://pic.twitter.com/W6MXb0TSKk
— West Ham United (@WestHamUtd) December 13, 2017
Arsene Wenger, on the other hand, made it abundantly clean that he was once some distance from inspired along with his facet’s newest efficiency by means of introducing a quartet of recent names to Arsenal’s beginning XI:
The workforce information is in – and the boss has made four⃣ adjustments to Sunday’s facet#WHUvAFC http://pic.twitter.com/ffmNaw4GYL
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) December 13, 2017
Jack Wilshere, Olivier Giroud, Ainsley Maitland-Niles and Alex Iwobi got here in for In keeping with Mertesacker, Sead Kolasinac, Aaron Ramsey and Alexandre Lacazette:
Stalemate
The early goings of the conflict noticed guests Arsenal in keep watch over, having a look in most cases slick and technical in ownership, however battle to carve out many actual simple alternatives.
Alex Iwobi did rattle the submit with a rasping effort at the 30 minutes mark, whilst Marko Arnautovic had a objective dominated out for offside, however, for essentially the most phase, the 2 aspects merely cancelled every different out all the way through the hole 45 mins.
And now not a lot modified over the process the second one 45, as Arsenal persisted to huff and puff however see their assaults come to not anything time and time once more.
Jack Wilshere and Mesut Ozil wasted the most productive second-half alternatives for the travelling facet, whilst Javier Hernandez had a wonderful likelihood to take hold of all three issues for the hosts on the demise, however crashed his effort off the bottom of the crossbar and out.
Slated
Whilst none of Arsenal’s stars precisely coated themselves in glory over the process the 90 mins, one participant was once singled out for specifically heavy complaint from the Gunners’ devoted, within the type of Alexis Sanchez.
The South American has appeared a way in need of his easiest for a number of weeks now, with one of the vital easiest social media roundup on his appearing this night showcased underneath:
Stunning to assume we became down £60m for Sanchez.
It’s were given to some degree now the place Walcott will have to almost definitely be taking part in forward of him.
— MT (@Arsenallthings) December 13, 2017
Sanchez, dummy comes within appears to be like to bend it … will get blocked . Repeat .
— AFC GLEN (@AFC_GLEN) December 13, 2017
Ill of Sanchez. Completely ill of him. Performs for himself. Dickhead.
— Mark (@_The12thMan) December 13, 2017
Previous few video games Sanchez has been horrible. Bench him its now not like he desires to be on the membership
— Ma’Leeyon’ (@LeeMangz) December 13, 2017
Alexis Sanchez misplaced ball rely
— TVR (@TheVieraRole) December 13, 2017
I believe the entire league is aware of what Sanchez goes to do when he receives the ball on the fringe of the field.
Pushes the ball inwards two times after which makes an attempt to shoot. So two defenders simply transfer with regards to him and don’t strive anything else.
He’s going to lose it himself
— CanonCrested (@canoncrested) December 13, 2017
Sanchez seems like the man on the place of work who has completed all his paintings on his closing day by means of 11am. Simply distracting his colleagues #WHUvAFC #WHUARS
— Clark Chapman (@chapperschat) December 13, 2017
Sure information… In 18 days we will be able to promote Alexis Sanchez!
— Dan Bletsoe (@BletzRizzle) December 13, 2017
Promote sanchez, bellerin and iwobi ! Shit baggage !
— Aravind (@aravindkumar93) December 13, 2017
Please depart our membership @Alexis_Sanchez
— Billy Smith (@billysmithalar) December 13, 2017
Alexis Sanchez must fuck off out of our membership asap #afc .
— AL9 (@ALacaz9) December 13, 2017
Ozil should now not depart this membership! Sanchez can buzz off.
— . (@DamilolaOg) December 13, 2017
I really like that wenger took Sanchez off even though. That man sanchez is garbage this season
— C A L (@TheCal1287) December 13, 2017
We if truth be told play such a lot higher with out him lol
— q (@Xhaktics) December 13, 2017
http://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js !serve as(f,b,e,v,n,t,s)(window, file,’script’,’http://ift.tt/2B7CqrW;); fbq(‘init’, ‘1821170621460215’); // Insert your pixel ID right here. fbq(‘observe’, ‘PageView’); (serve as(d, s, identity) (file, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’));
http://ift.tt/2ADbrJh football
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