#and the poly person Absolutely Fucking Daring to Have Even the Beginnings of a Crush at All Without His Permission | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angorwhosebabyisthis · 2 months

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realized ricky is not only canonically polyam, but rep for polyam survivors who are abused for being poly, and i am having a lot of feelings about that which i plan to write up a post about but also wow in hindsight it put some shit from an abusive ex-friend into perspective.

#whosebaby talks #SDMItag #abuse cw #polyphobia cw #there is just. still a lot that i am unpacking about how deeply abusive her muses were in ~healthy relationships~ with mine #which was really fucked up to put me through by itself but was also *deeply* telling about our friendship in general #a major aspect being how she constantly went back and forth between being very clear that she was repulsed and disgusted by my queerness #and pretending she never said that; while playing olympic-level gymnastics for any possible bullshit alternate explanation she could find #and i'm just like. in hindsight it has become deeply cathartic to write/engage with stories where the polyphobic abuser #is openly and intentionally and maliciously abusive; and framed as such #after the relentless gaslighting and queerphobia of ~healthy OTP relationship~ where a poly muse i had put a lot of myself into #brought up the subject of whether his partner would be alright with him pursuing a relationship over feelings he was Just Starting to Have #and wanted to get ahead of things and ask the moment it became relevant; specifically because he knew the partner had jealousy issues #and the poly person Absolutely Fucking Daring to Have Even the Beginnings of a Crush at All Without His Permission #sent the partner into a massive wailing nauseous spiraling self-harming world-ending inconsolable breakdown #and going practically catatonic with jealousy and ~pain and betrayal~#and the ~healthy resolution~ was the poly muse apologizing profusely for it; comforting him; and promising it would never ever happen again #'he has BPD and jealousy issues and it hurts him sooooo so bad 🥺' i hope otto cheats on him with ten people and then dumps his ass #BPD doesn't make you abusive or polyphobic even if you're mono #and it's so fucking gross that her non-BPD-having ass used pwBPD as an excuse for passionately hating poly people #but yeah there was just. so so much more horrible shit along those lines just In General with those characters alone #and it was constantly dressed up in a veneer of ~healthy relationships uwu~ and in hindsight that's another reason #i have such an extremely strong reaction to 'no see this dynamic is good and home-grown organic wholesome and healthy uwu'#'[most abusive/bigoted/etc shit you have ever seen in your life]'#and why it is honestly such a fucking relief to be able to engage with a dynamic where the abuse is mask-off and openly Intended to Harm #just call me a slur and get it over with etc #anyway it's just. a Lot.#that person was a fucking nightmare and writing with them was a fucking nightmare #last i heard they were part of that fandom's resident anti crowd and mocking/harassing disabled people for dietary limitations lol #and i'm glad they're out of my life and that apparently i've got enough distance from them to be comfortable processing it through fiction

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